Hello loves! It's been quite a while since I've been on here, but now that I am I need some help. I discovered something about my fiancee. I've known about his DL fetish for some years and am quite literally thrilled about it, as I've come to share his fetish myself. But I've discovered something new about him, and it's somewhat off topic from the ABDL thing. But he does feel it plays a slight role in things, and I desperately need some input from the relatively straight male. Especially from the ABDL community because if anyone can understand what's going on, it would be you guys.
So I recently accidentally (yes it really was an accident) found some old emails from him trying to sort of "hook up" with other men on Craigslist, though it was never pursued beyond just wanting attention. Some of these emails took place during our relationship, which is what bothers me more than anything. Now, these emails never went beyond asking for basic information. You know, just the old fashioned a/s/l thing. They never actually contacted each other and pursued anything further. Although it always started with the pretense of hooking up, and often in quite a vulgar way. (He says he was vulgar simply so he'd get a response, he didn't actually feel that way. Plus he was very very drunk during these times.)
When I confronted him, he told me it was a fantasy he couldn't let go of from his teenage years, which I knew a little bit of but never knew he was fantasizing about it now and then. He told me when he was growing up, he'd have a group of friends that he was pretty close to, and would sometimes watch porn and masterbate together. None of this really got to him, except with one friend. Let's call this friend Zack. Eventually my fiancee figured out Zack was gay, or bi at the very least. But over the years, he and Zack would watch porn and masterbate together more than what most straight men were comfortable with. Plus Zack would want to sit close to him and try to touch him sexually during these masterbating sessions, though he claims he never let the guy touch him. These experiences kinda screwed with him because he developed a close friendship with him, aside from the sexuality. Although he's not attracted to other men sexually, he was flattered by Zack's interest, especially considering they were very close growing up and we're exploring their sexuality together. And especially considering he didn't have a lot of luck finding a girlfriend around this time. So this started to confuse him about his sexual identity.
There were other facors that led into this being a big ordeal. For one, he was a virgin with little to no sexual experience. Two, he had a diaper fetish that as a teenager was stronger than ever, you know with hormones running rampid and everything. But he was also linking Zack to yet another memory of when he was about 4 or 5, where he and a boy his age would get into diapers together and hump things. (Not each other, just to be clear.) He strongly contemplated telling his friend Zack about diapers as a teenager so he could relive that, but decided against it.
Case in point, he didn't have a sexual outlet involving an actual partner for a very long time, and the closest he had to that was just jerk-off buddies. So those were really the only events throughout all of his teenage years and well into his 20s where he was able to explore his sexuality with another human being, since he didn't have much luck with finding a girlfriend during this time. And since his diaper fetish was extremely strong during this phase, he says he was just addicted to feeling good and having a male friend to share it with. Apparently that memory stuck with him pretty good because he was occasionally fantasizing about masterbating with other guys. (Now to be clear, his fantasies never involved touching or being touched by another guy, at least according to what he's telling me.) He explained that when he was looking to "hook up" with other random guys, really he was just looking for a gay friend to watch porn and masterbate with. He said that when he was emailing random guys on Craigslist, he had no intention of actually following through with it, but he was still almost fetishising it in his mind. He says a lot of it had to do with his alcohol abuse, which contributed to his guilty feelings of possibly being bi and betraying me. So the more he drank and the more guilty he felt, the more he fantasized about it. Like a guilt fetish I guess.
So what I need from the relatively straight males here is to give me some input. Is this kind of a normal thing for straight men to get sexually attached to? The idea of having a jerk-off buddy, specifically one who is gay and flattering you, but no touching is involved? Or is this a bit closer to the bisexual spectrum? I know it's normal for boys to masterbate together as they're growing up, but is it normal for straight men to fantasize about it into adulthood? At least given the circumstances? He claims he doesn't get excited about seeing another guy naked or having an orgasm. He just likes sharing those feeling of masterbating with other guys. Especially with a gay one, mostly because of his close friendship with his gay friend Zack growing up. Or do you suppose maybe he is a little bi and won't admit it to me? Which by the way I could deal with. What I can't deal with is him secretly emailing strange people to hook up with during our relationship to pursue some fantasy, even though he didn't follow through with it. Or lying to me and hiding a very big piece of information regarding his sexuality. That's where I feel betrayed, especially after all this time and after all the INTENSE secrets he's shared with me. He swears it'll never happen again, the whole emails to random gay hook ups. But what I want to know is what I'm really facing here. Is he telling me the full truth? Is he really a straight guy who's hanging on to a very sexual memory from his adolescent years? Or is he secretly bi? What do you guys think? Sorry my story is so long, but any input would be greatly appreciated. This isn't really something I can personally relate to, and considering my female brain doesn't work the same as a male's, I definitely need another man's perspective to help me understand this.
Question
New2DL
Hello loves! It's been quite a while since I've been on here, but now that I am I need some help. I discovered something about my fiancee. I've known about his DL fetish for some years and am quite literally thrilled about it, as I've come to share his fetish myself. But I've discovered something new about him, and it's somewhat off topic from the ABDL thing. But he does feel it plays a slight role in things, and I desperately need some input from the relatively straight male. Especially from the ABDL community because if anyone can understand what's going on, it would be you guys.
So I recently accidentally (yes it really was an accident) found some old emails from him trying to sort of "hook up" with other men on Craigslist, though it was never pursued beyond just wanting attention. Some of these emails took place during our relationship, which is what bothers me more than anything. Now, these emails never went beyond asking for basic information. You know, just the old fashioned a/s/l thing. They never actually contacted each other and pursued anything further. Although it always started with the pretense of hooking up, and often in quite a vulgar way. (He says he was vulgar simply so he'd get a response, he didn't actually feel that way. Plus he was very very drunk during these times.)
When I confronted him, he told me it was a fantasy he couldn't let go of from his teenage years, which I knew a little bit of but never knew he was fantasizing about it now and then. He told me when he was growing up, he'd have a group of friends that he was pretty close to, and would sometimes watch porn and masterbate together. None of this really got to him, except with one friend. Let's call this friend Zack. Eventually my fiancee figured out Zack was gay, or bi at the very least. But over the years, he and Zack would watch porn and masterbate together more than what most straight men were comfortable with. Plus Zack would want to sit close to him and try to touch him sexually during these masterbating sessions, though he claims he never let the guy touch him. These experiences kinda screwed with him because he developed a close friendship with him, aside from the sexuality. Although he's not attracted to other men sexually, he was flattered by Zack's interest, especially considering they were very close growing up and we're exploring their sexuality together. And especially considering he didn't have a lot of luck finding a girlfriend around this time. So this started to confuse him about his sexual identity.
There were other facors that led into this being a big ordeal. For one, he was a virgin with little to no sexual experience. Two, he had a diaper fetish that as a teenager was stronger than ever, you know with hormones running rampid and everything. But he was also linking Zack to yet another memory of when he was about 4 or 5, where he and a boy his age would get into diapers together and hump things. (Not each other, just to be clear.) He strongly contemplated telling his friend Zack about diapers as a teenager so he could relive that, but decided against it.
Case in point, he didn't have a sexual outlet involving an actual partner for a very long time, and the closest he had to that was just jerk-off buddies. So those were really the only events throughout all of his teenage years and well into his 20s where he was able to explore his sexuality with another human being, since he didn't have much luck with finding a girlfriend during this time. And since his diaper fetish was extremely strong during this phase, he says he was just addicted to feeling good and having a male friend to share it with. Apparently that memory stuck with him pretty good because he was occasionally fantasizing about masterbating with other guys. (Now to be clear, his fantasies never involved touching or being touched by another guy, at least according to what he's telling me.) He explained that when he was looking to "hook up" with other random guys, really he was just looking for a gay friend to watch porn and masterbate with. He said that when he was emailing random guys on Craigslist, he had no intention of actually following through with it, but he was still almost fetishising it in his mind. He says a lot of it had to do with his alcohol abuse, which contributed to his guilty feelings of possibly being bi and betraying me. So the more he drank and the more guilty he felt, the more he fantasized about it. Like a guilt fetish I guess.
So what I need from the relatively straight males here is to give me some input. Is this kind of a normal thing for straight men to get sexually attached to? The idea of having a jerk-off buddy, specifically one who is gay and flattering you, but no touching is involved? Or is this a bit closer to the bisexual spectrum? I know it's normal for boys to masterbate together as they're growing up, but is it normal for straight men to fantasize about it into adulthood? At least given the circumstances? He claims he doesn't get excited about seeing another guy naked or having an orgasm. He just likes sharing those feeling of masterbating with other guys. Especially with a gay one, mostly because of his close friendship with his gay friend Zack growing up. Or do you suppose maybe he is a little bi and won't admit it to me? Which by the way I could deal with. What I can't deal with is him secretly emailing strange people to hook up with during our relationship to pursue some fantasy, even though he didn't follow through with it. Or lying to me and hiding a very big piece of information regarding his sexuality. That's where I feel betrayed, especially after all this time and after all the INTENSE secrets he's shared with me. He swears it'll never happen again, the whole emails to random gay hook ups. But what I want to know is what I'm really facing here. Is he telling me the full truth? Is he really a straight guy who's hanging on to a very sexual memory from his adolescent years? Or is he secretly bi? What do you guys think? Sorry my story is so long, but any input would be greatly appreciated. This isn't really something I can personally relate to, and considering my female brain doesn't work the same as a male's, I definitely need another man's perspective to help me understand this.
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