complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[RambleLamb]

My guess is more sandwiches will be eaten and maybe a cookie or six. I'm so good at guessing...

[YourFNF]

1 hour ago, Bonsai said:

Now the moral red line for Vanessa seems clearer: she’s convinced to understand others better than they understand themselves and so feels it’s right to intrude their privacy and manipulate them as long as she sees in it a possible benefit for both parties. Maybe the fact that such ability to understand was paid through painful experiences makes her believe that  interfering in other’s freedom is preferrable  than to let them go through sorrowful experiences. It’s interesting that she does this to those she’s attracted to and not those she judges negatively.

Wow... Thank you for putting my head contents in order

[Guilend]

2 hours ago, YourFNF said:

Wow... Thank you for putting my head contents in order

i know right? 

also, not trying to steal @bbykimmy thunder, but for those who have been waiting for another chapter to The Most Unusual Amazon, @Wannatripbaby , I have a new one posted. almost 1 thousand words.

[bbykimmy]

1 hour ago, Bonsai said:

Now the moral red line for Vanessa seems clearer: she’s convinced to understand others better than they understand themselves and so feels it’s right to intrude their privacy and manipulate them as long as she sees in it a possible benefit for both parties. Maybe the fact that such ability to understand was paid through painful experiences makes her believe that  interfering in other’s freedom is preferrable  than to let them go through sorrowful experiences. It’s interesting that she does this to those she’s attracted to and not those she judges negatively.

I love this analysis.  Thank you for sharing it

Your last line makes me wonder though - they thoroughly invaded Julian's privacy, too.  Looked up his driver's license records, arrest reports, they broke into his library account... but she's not attracted to him or judges him negatively (that we're aware of)

48 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

My guess is more sandwiches will be eaten and maybe a cookie or six. I'm so good at guessing...

I do like sandwiches and cookies.

My favorite are the chocolate sandwich cookies with the chocolate filling... but only the off-brand kind, never the Oreo kind.

We couldn't afford fancy Oreos when I was a kid, so my heart yearns for the cheapo cookies.

[RambleLamb]

1 hour ago, bbykimmy said:

I love this analysis.  Thank you for sharing it

Your last line makes me wonder though - they thoroughly invaded Julian's privacy, too.  Looked up his driver's license records, arrest reports, they broke into his library account... but she's not attracted to him or judges him negatively (that we're aware of)

I do like sandwiches and cookies.

My favorite are the chocolate sandwich cookies with the chocolate filling... but only the off-brand kind, never the Oreo kind.

We couldn't afford fancy Oreos when I was a kid, so my heart yearns for the cheapo cookies.

I have the same love and reason for the lemon sandwich cookies!

[Guilend]

5 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

I have the same love and reason for the lemon sandwich cookies!

Oh god, not the lemon cookies.

Actually, i am having trouble remembering what those are lol.

I love cookies, as long as they are unhealthy i am sure I'll eat them lol.

[bbykimmy]

21 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

I have the same love and reason for the lemon sandwich cookies!

We're like long lost sisters...

[RambleLamb]

49 minutes ago, Aries said:

Oh god, not the lemon cookies.

Actually, i am having trouble remembering what those are lol.

I love cookies, as long as they are unhealthy i am sure I'll eat them lol.

They're like oreos but jenk and with lemon cream in the center. They are in fact the bomb diggity and you need to get on the trolley about them, M'Sir!

34 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

We're like long lost sisters...

I'll bet we could finish each other's...

[bbykimmy]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

They're like oreos but jenk and with lemon cream in the center. They are in fact the bomb diggity and you need to get on the trolley about them, M'Sir!

I'll bet we could finish each other's...

Butts

[RambleLamb]

16 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Butts

I was gonna say sandwiches, but I like where your head is at.

[Bonsai]

6 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

I love this analysis.  Thank you for sharing it

Your last line makes me wonder though - they thoroughly invaded Julian's privacy, too.  Looked up his driver's license records, arrest reports, they broke into his library account... but she's not attracted to him or judges him negatively (that we're aware of)

Right, Julian is just a bypasser that, in Vanessa’s yes, may stay in the way of Dani & her happiness. Here the engagement rules are less clear: maybe, like a thermodinamic law, her rule is that the sum of the happiness of the subjects involved within the perimeter of her action field shall always grow as an effect of her action?

[bbykimmy]

TRIGGER WARNING:  Consent Violation, Blood

This chapter is dark.

Chapter Eighteen

"Hey," I sighed inwardly as Aubrey's voice reached me while I unlocked the door to my car.  

I had hoped that on this final day, I would avoid seeing her entirely.  The job was done, the company kept Benjamin Harris... though if my read was correct, he'd be fired within two months for gross incompetence.  I had highlighted his flaws and pointed out clearly that in many cases I would recommend releasing him, but that he had a chance to become a valuable asset in the right setting.  It wasn't entirely a lie - I just didn't think that setting was at this company, he already had a toxic work ethic.

"Aubrey," I greeted her solemnly.  Her attitude was different, she seemed more relaxed.  Good, maybe she was done trying to extort me.

"Why is Kailee this way?" she asked.  I was honestly surprised by the frankness of the question.

"Sit with me," I offered, nodding to the car.  I climbed in, unlocking the passenger door and waited for her to climb in as well.  When both doors were closed - and Aubrey looked a little uncomfortable with being in territory that was firmly mine - humans are funny that way, we've evolved these thinking and reasoning skills but most people had no idea how much raw instinct affected their thoughts and emotions.  Some primal part of Aubrey identified me as a threat, and being in "my territory" was further threatening.  "Kailee is a submissive, to an unhealthy degree, honestly."

"What does that even mean?" Aubrey interrupted me before I had barely begun.  I leveled a solid gaze on her and waited, staring, telling her nonverbally that interrupting was not acceptable behavior.  "Sorry," she added quietly.

"It means," I continued, "that she has some drive to feel controlled, possessed, helpless.  I'm not a psychologist and I'm certainly not Kailee's psychologist and there are a million different reasons why she could be this way.  Maybe it's childhood trauma, maybe it was just watching a specific movie at a formative time in her life, maybe it's her need to feel validated in victimhood - you know that one is true, Kailee enjoys righteous anger, the feeling of being right because she was wronged - but it could be anything.  Kailee needs to talk with a professional to learn these things."  I paused, giving Aubrey a moment to speak.

"But what if she doesn't want to cure them?"

"Cure?" I chuckled.  "No psychologist worth their salt is going to try to cure this, there is no 'cure'.  Kailee is who Kailee is - talking to a professional isn't about trying to get rid of these urges, it's about trying to understand their cause and deal with any emotional trauma that's hiding there.  Kailee has many unhealthy behaviors and attitudes, can you say that she really loves herself?"

"No," she agreed.  "I can't."

"She should.  Kailee is not a bad person.  She is a selfish person, and she needs to learn to grow out of that."

"Well that's rich," Aubrey snarked, "I didn't think you wanted her to grow out of anything.  You got her addicted to diapers, Vanessa!  That's the opposite of growing out of things!"

"A diaper is just clothing," I countered.  "Yes, it has a meaning, a connotation - but it's just a piece of clothing.  Just because she wears a diaper - just because I wanted her to wear a diaper - doesn't mean she should be emotionally immature.  We are adults - and it doesn't matter how deep the game goes, at the core it's an agreement between two consenting adults.  She agreed to play, and when I no longer felt that it was right for me, I bowed out."

"Bowed out!?" she snapped.  "You left her a sobbing wreck!  She cried over you for a month, every day!  You tore her heart out and stomped on it, you heartless... " I pursed my lips and narrowed an eye, and Aubrey's fury abated somewhat.  She obviously had something else on her mind, if she came to fight she wouldn't simply back down there.  "You were harsh," she finished, her voice lowered.  "Too harsh."

"I gave her a hug, I told her that our relationship didn't feel like a good fit to me, I told her that there was someone out there for her, and I walked away."

"That's not what she told me," the tremor in Aubrey's voice told her that she was doubting, unconvinced.

"Let me venture a guess," I paused to take a breath for effect before continuing.  "She told you that I said I hated her and that I never wanted to see her again, that I was a terrible and mean person who refused to give her another chance, and that it wasn't fair?"

"That's... pretty close, actually."

"I was gentle, Aubrey," I sighed.  "You heard her pain, not reality.  To her, in her mind, that is what I said - that was her interpretation of what I said, that was her experience.  And I can't deny that's what she felt - but that's not what I said.  I dated her for eight months and it ended almost three years ago.  I have moved on.  I never wanted to hurt her, but I'm not going to spend my life helping her overcome her damage, that's her responsibility.  Too many people overlook these glaring cracks in their partner, or they don't discover these problems until they're years into the relationship and they don't want to just 'throw it away' because they've invested so much.  It's the Sunk Cost Fallacy - and I don't fall for it."

"You're cold," Aubrey said softly.

"I'm practical," I replied.  "I care about her wellbeing, but I refuse to take responsibility for it and if I continued to play the mommy role for her, that's exactly what I'd be doing.  Kailee does need someone to help her - but it's not me."

"What does she want?" Aubrey asked - there was a solemn, timid tone to her voice.

"I am not the person to ask.  How can I tell you what Kailee wants?  Only she can do that."

"But she can't!" Aubrey's fists were tight on her thighs, she was hurting for her friend.  That I could understand.  "She can't, Vanessa.  I keep asking her, I keep asking her what she wants but she never tells me anything that makes sense.  What did she want from you?"

I sighed again, a weary sound.

"She wants to be controlled," I offered.  "She wants someone to physically dominate her."

"Why does she want someone to hit her?" Aubrey asked, frustrated - she wasn't hearing me.

"Again, I can't tell you why.  There are a multitude of reasons - but I can tell you this, it's not wrong to want that kind of attention from someone you trust.  I recommend that you find a couples counselor." 

"We're not a couple," Aubrey's eyes narrowed.  "I'm not gay."  She was so defensive, so offended by the thought... it was funny to me how a person could be accepting of others - she was accepting of Kailee - but have this internalized homophobia, that it was okay for everyone else but it couldn't possibly be okay for them.  To me, I could read it plain as day... I had seen it enough in my life.

"A couples counselor can also see friends - they teach communication skills, Aubrey.  That's all."

"It's not wrong to give her what she wants, right?"  Pain.  Seeking reassurance.  Seeking permission.  They both had so much learning to do about themselves.  But I refused to step into that lion's den - I refused to be responsible for their mess.

"She's not wrong for wanting it, and what two consenting adults do in their own time is their business.  But Aubrey," I laid a hand gently on her shoulder.  "Don't do something because you feel obligated.  If you give yourself in a way that makes you feel bad, it will only lead to resentment.  Kailee is responsible for herself, for her own feelings."

"Yeah well," she said bitterly, "Not all of us can walk away from someone we care about when they're hurting."

Before I could reply, she was out of the car and storming off.

What a mess.

*   *   *

I stomped away from Vanessa's car, fuming.

She's such a cold bitch.

The Terminator.  She terminated Kailee's relationship just like she terminated hundreds of jobs at A-Tech.  Cold.  Calculated.  Unfeeling.

How could that beast have the gall to tell me about emotional health?  She barely had emotions!

Kailee had been happier in the past two weeks than I had seen her in months.  She liked me being her nanny - I couldn't stomach her calling me "mommy", not after watching her call Vanessa that for so long - she liked how I took charge.  Vanessa was right about one thing - she did want to be controlled.

But it took so much time and effort.  It was so draining, trying to do this for her, trying to make her happy.  What about what made me happy?

I climbed into my car to drive home - I was glad Vanessa was out of my life.  And when I got home, I was forbidding Kailee from mentioning her again.  She wanted to be controlled?  Fine.  I would be controlling.

The drive was quick at least.  I was at the apartment door in under half an hour.

When I open this door, I thought to myself, it had better be clean in there.

When I had left for work that morning, Kailee hadn't put away the dishes yet, and she hadn't folded her laundry.  She had another leak yesterday, so she had bedding to wash today.  Three years ago she had been on track to be a supervisor at her job, managing the QA team - now she worked part-time at a coffee shop.  She didn't have a shift today, and if I came in to find...

Kailee jumped when the door opened, fumbling with the TV remote and stuffing it behind her after the television went silent.

"Hi nanny," she grinned.  I knew that grin.  That grin meant she had done something wrong and wanted to be punished for it.  She did that so much.  I'd tell her to do something and she'd "forget", she'd purposefully do things wrong because she loved it when I was cross with her.  I narrowed my eyes, wondering what she had messed up now.

"Show me your diaper," I said after the door was closed.  She stood and lifted her skirt, showing me a sodden, sagging diaper still taped around her.  "Go change."

"Will you change me?" she asked, stepping over and leaning into me, grasping onto my arm.

"No," I said flatly.  "I'm not going to change you - you change yourself."  The idea of changing her diaper bothered me - it didn't bother me so much that she wore them, it didn't bother me that she peed in them, but I drew the line at handling them.  I'd put her in a dry one after a bath, that was about my limit.  "Now go.  Now."

"Yes nanny," she sighed, trudging into her room as if I weren't already giving her every fucking thing she wanted.

Couldn't she see that I was doing this for her?  Diapers weren't my thing - I wasn't even into women.  Benny and I had a date tomorrow night at least, I'd get some attention then.

I heard her vibrator kick on in the next room, and it set my teeth on edge.  She was so careless... but I really felt angry when I looked into the kitchen and found the sink full of dishes that she had sworn would be clean when I got home.  I gritted my teeth and sat down, turning the TV on... only to find it on a Pay-Per-View porn.  She was wasting money on cable porn!

I tried to breathe, tried to calm myself down.  I wasn't going to leave her like Vanessa did.  The Terminator was right though, she was selfish.  Like a child.

I thought back to my own childhood, and I knew what I had to do.  I grabbed the wooden spoon from the kitchen and headed for Kailee's bedroom.  I heard the rip of the tapes of her diaper as I pushed the door open... and found her masturbating on an unmade bed, laying on just the plastic sheet, her clean bedding all over the floor.

And I saw red.  Her room was a disaster, worse than it had been yesterday when I told her to clean it.  I stomped over to the bed and tossed the used diaper on the floor, rolling her onto her stomach roughly.

"Nanny!" she squeaked.  I brought the spoon down hard, stinging her flesh that was still damp from sitting in a wet diaper all day.  I brought it down over and over.

"I'm going to teach you," I said between strikes, "not to be selfish.  I'm going to teach you," she was squirming now, whimpering, "to think about others.  This behavior is going to change!"  As I continued, her whimpers turned to cries, which turned to sobs.  She wanted punishment?  Fine.  She wanted control?  Fine.  But she was going to learn from it.

"Stop, Aubrey!" she writhed.  I put my hand firmly on the back of her neck and held her there, bringing the spoon down on her bottom mercilessly.

"The dishes aren't done, your room is a mess, you wasted money on porn, and you're just in here masturbating!"

"Fuck Aubrey!  Red!  Red!  Stop!"

I knew I was supposed to stop there, I knew I was supposed to listen to that word, but red was in my vision.  And she wasn't going to learn if she could stop a punishment whenever she wanted.

When I did stop, she was a sobbing mess, begging and promising to be better.  Blood dripped down her thigh, I had broken her skin at some point - the wound was angry and red on her bottom.

I looked down at her, heard her begging, heard myself, my child self in her cries.

And I hated myself.

"I don't want to ever have to do that again," I said, throwing the spoon to the ground.  "I need you to listen."

As my mother's words came from my mouth, I walked away.

I wasn't going to abandon her like Vanessa did.  I was going to fix her if it killed me.

[HyperShark]

Sadly I have run out of likes for this new chapter

Another phenomenal chapter same as the last two, going to be interesting what happens with the Aubrey/Kailee subplot after the fallout of the incident at the end of the chapter.

[littleDlife]

I love the story but it really goes to show how selfish people can be, realize it, but continue doing it for self gratification and then expect no consequences 

[Guilend]

3 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

TRIGGER WARNING:  Consent Violation, Blood

This chapter is dark.

I don't feel like looking back to find the comment your wrote in order to quote you, but I could have sworn I remember something about you saying this wasn't going dark?

3 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

"Fuck Aubrey!  Red!  Red!  Stop!"

I knew I was supposed to stop there, I knew I was supposed to listen to that word, but red was in my vision.  And she wasn't going to learn if she could stop a punishment whenever she wanted.

Consent Violation? I might be a tad new to actually having a partner to do scenes with, but I am pretty sure RED means she took away her consent? Though, I do believe she deserved the spanking, though not hard enough to draw blood as there is a way to deliver a lot of pain without the need of breaking skin, though my Little bruises real easy so I know I have come close to drawing blood a few times. Only one time did she get me so mad I bruised her butt good. She had told me she really wanted it to be a lifestyle, not so much the Little stuff, but me being the "man of the house" so I agreed and I told her that for the next 30 days to help her remember who was in charge and so she felt the pain she needed I would give her a light spanking every night, but she had to come ask for it, i would not remind her. The next day I was going to give her a hard spanking for disobeying me, but after breakfast. We didn't even get to breakfast before she blew up and started yelling at me for not doing what I had promised. I let her cool down and lose steam before I got the hairbrush and spanked her good. She couldn't sit down for almost that whole month, but I got the message across and I didn't draw blood to do it.

Sorry, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I am writing this on a little over 3 hours of sleep lol. 

[RambleLamb]

Damn. I mean, I have a much worse word for my feelings after reading that but we'll stick with damn for now.

This is some deep, dark stuff and you handled it very well. My feelings for Aubrey and Kailee are known, but you keep humanizing them and you're making it really hard not to get invested in their wellbeing. 

On the plus side, sometimes the only way to get to a happy place is to hit rock bottom so maybe Aubrey and Kailee have reached a turning point in their relationship. ...or Kailee will be standing at the foot of Aubrey's bed muttering to herself in the dark while Aubrey sleeps...either way I'm on board! 

Super good job, I slipped a little something in your chapter, but yourself something nice. <3

[Wannatripbaby]

2 hours ago, Aries said:

Consent Violation? I might be a tad new to actually having a partner to do scenes with, but I am pretty sure RED means she took away her consent? 

Yes. Red was her safeword and by ignoring it Aubrey essentially raped her best friend.

[Kio Rampas]

25 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

On the plus side, sometimes the only way to get to a happy place is to hit rock bottom so maybe Aubrey and Kailee have reached a turning point in their relationship.

Something about Aubrey's thought process smacks of childhood trauma that she's now enacting on Kailee. I think something like this has happened to Aubrey.

This doesn't feel like rock bottom. It just feels like a progression in an abusive relationship, and I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it gets better, it's not going to be without a lot of work on both their parts.

[bbykimmy]

6 hours ago, HyperShark said:

Sadly I have run out of likes for this new chapter

Another phenomenal chapter same as the last two, going to be interesting what happens with the Aubrey/Kailee subplot after the fallout of the incident at the end of the chapter.

That's okay Sharky-friend, I know how it is   I hope you remember me later though

Thanks for always reading and commenting, I'm glad to know you're still following along <3

3 hours ago, littleDlife said:

I love the story but it really goes to show how selfish people can be, realize it, but continue doing it for self gratification and then expect no consequences 

Hello littleDlife - I think this is the first time you've commented on a story of mine, so welcome to the party   You also just triggered a Kimmy-speech :O

Littles exist in a pretty selfish place.  Brats doubly so - a brat wants to act out and be punished.  This is a giant turn-off for a lot of Doms, because a fairly normal Dom reaction/belief is to want to be able to shape and correct the behavior of their sub on a permanent basis.  If there's a bad/undesired behavior or belief, a Dom can help get rid of that behavior through correction.  Doms set up rules, subs learn to follow them, and it's all supposed to come from a place of mutual love and understanding.

Brats aren't going to correct their behavior very easily. Some Doms get exhausted and frustrated by punishing the same behavior repeatedly... brats get energized by this.  I'm not doing lifestyle play with my partner right now (we're in therapy for other issues and we're having kind of a hard time) but she had a rule:  "When you're in a diaper, no going to the potty."  I broke it constantly, like every single day.  I did it on purpose so she could catch me and punish me, and that was really hard for her.  I wasn't very kind, I was very selfish with my desires.

As Littles, and especially if you're a brat, you need to stop and think about how your partner is going to feel.  If they haven't explicitly cleared bratting, don't do it.  Set expectations, communicate your desire to be punished, tell them exactly what you want and what it means to you.  Maybe eventually you can get to a "casual bratting" place, but it's better to over-communicate than risk your partner being hurt by your behavior.

Kailee exists in this story as a manifestation of my own fear as a Little.  I'm a brat, a pretty unrepentant one.  I'm really afraid that I'm Kailee and not Jess, part of this story is me exploring what that means... I'm kind of a mess, my (real) mother screwed me up pretty bad and it's hard for me to tell what I myself am really thinking or feeling sometimes, but working through it in a story or talking through my feelings helps me figure those out... sometimes I'll hold a belief and it's not until I say the words out loud that I realize that I've been lying to myself.

The lesson of Aubrey and Kailee is this:

Don't Dom if you can't do it.

Don't brat if you haven't communicated with your partner.

Being a Little does not give you a right to violate your partner by putting them in a position where they have to punish you when they don't want to.  That's abuse.

Being a Dom does not give you the right to damage your sub in some misguided attempt to help them.

Communication is key!  Talk openly and honestly about your feelings.  Talk about how you feel - not because of what they did, but just how you feel, be it scared or upset or sad.  If you're feeling angry, chances are that there's another emotion deeper down underneath that which needs to be addressed.  Anger manifests because you've got another emotion you're not taking care of.

2 hours ago, Aries said:

I don't feel like looking back to find the comment your wrote in order to quote you, but I could have sworn I remember something about you saying this wasn't going dark?

Consent Violation? I might be a tad new to actually having a partner to do scenes with, but I am pretty sure RED means she took away her consent? Though, I do believe she deserved the spanking, though not hard enough to draw blood as there is a way to deliver a lot of pain without the need of breaking skin, though my Little bruises real easy so I know I have come close to drawing blood a few times. Only one time did she get me so mad I bruised her butt good. She had told me she really wanted it to be a lifestyle, not so much the Little stuff, but me being the "man of the house" so I agreed and I told her that for the next 30 days to help her remember who was in charge and so she felt the pain she needed I would give her a light spanking every night, but she had to come ask for it, i would not remind her. The next day I was going to give her a hard spanking for disobeying me, but after breakfast. We didn't even get to breakfast before she blew up and started yelling at me for not doing what I had promised. I let her cool down and lose steam before I got the hairbrush and spanked her good. She couldn't sit down for almost that whole month, but I got the message across and I didn't draw blood to do it.

Sorry, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I am writing this on a little over 3 hours of sleep lol. 

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever hit anyone in anger.  Not real kids, not pretend kids.

Never, ever, ever.

As Trip clarified, the consent violation is this:  Kailee, as you said, withdrew her consent.  Aubrey violated that consent by continuing after it had been withdrawn.  Aubrey violated Kailee.

If you can't respect a safeword, you shouldn't be playing.

If your partner can't respect a safeword, get the fuck out.  That's abuse.  Get help, you're in danger.

Also, as to the darkness... chansu already called me out on that one   Go back through the comments and you can see that I warned this was coming.

42 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

Damn. I mean, I have a much worse word for my feelings after reading that but we'll stick with damn for now.

This is some deep, dark stuff and you handled it very well. My feelings for Aubrey and Kailee are known, but you keep humanizing them and you're making it really hard not to get invested in their wellbeing. 

On the plus side, sometimes the only way to get to a happy place is to hit rock bottom so maybe Aubrey and Kailee have reached a turning point in their relationship. ...or Kailee will be standing at the foot of Aubrey's bed muttering to herself in the dark while Aubrey sleeps...either way I'm on board! 

Super good job, I slipped a little something in your chapter, but yourself something nice. <3

I'll try not to spend it all in one place.

I crossed 800 points!  YAY!

I can't agree this is a clear sign of rock bottom, this is just the first incident of abuse.  Things can get much, much worse.

26 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Yes. Red was her safeword and by ignoring it Aubrey essentially raped her best friend.

Rape isn't the right word, I think.  It wasn't a sexual violation, but it was clearly violent abuse.

Kailee needs to get the fuck out, now.

If you're being abused, you need to get some distance from your abuser first, and then work to address the abuse.  Your safety is paramount.

15 minutes ago, Kio Rampas said:

Something about Aubrey's thought process smacks of childhood trauma that she's now enacting on Kailee. I think something like this has happened to Aubrey.

This doesn't feel like rock bottom. It just feels like a progression in an abusive relationship, and I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it gets better, it's not going to be without a lot of work on both their parts.

Ding ding ding.

Right on all counts.  Thanks for playing <3

Seriously, I appreciate your thoughtful and insightful commentary and I'm glad you're on this journey with us!

[Baby Billy]

That one was deep Kimy, I think RED was her save word in playing but Audrey was not playing a game at that point.

[Wannatripbaby]

52 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Rape isn't the right word, I think.  It wasn't a sexual violation, but it was clearly violent abuse.

There is such a thing as Psychological Rape. Calling this physical abuse doesn't quite cover what really went on. I mean, physically all she did was make her bleed and bruise a little. But the emotional damage done was FAR worse than the physical damage.

[YourFNF]

Yeah both of these two need serious help. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm actually with Vanessa on this one.

[Guilend]

@bbykimmy I Agree, safe words are a MUST, when I first started my relationship with my little I had asked her right from the beginning what her safe word was, she told me she didn't want one and trusted me. I of course had to explain to her that not only is it not safe, but I just won't play scenes with her if we didn't have one. She has been hurt a lot in the past by trying to find a good Dom, I don't want to think about what happened if she didn't have a safe word with them. I also learned over time her body language and her tone of voice. I can tell when she is getting close to her limit and I can tell when say no and then says no right before she is about to use the safe word, so I can gauge when and how far to back up or stop completely to give her a break.

When one starts off in a new relationship as a Dom/sub it's good for them to start out slow, to learn each other's "tells" as Vanessa calls them, and it gives both time to feel out any likes and dislikes and any hard limits or soft limits that one or both didn't realize they had. And before EVER doing a scene talk to each other and come up with a safe word AND the scenario  in the scene. In time both will get to read each other and can see where a scene will go or if a scene has started just by what the other has said or done, but till then make the scenes planned thoroughly and cover all bases with your partner.

 

Ok that is my second speech I will stay quiet now till the next chapter. MAYBE *grin*

[the diaper mike]

 Once again Kimmy you're psycho twist just amaze me Aubrey is a real piece of character work I love it  It was until I started reading your stories that I got into dark literature The cruel twist of fate it's really interesting keep going

[Guilend]

14 minutes ago, the diaper mike said:

 Once again Kimmy you're psycho twist just amaze me Aubrey is a real piece of character work I love it  It was until I started reading your stories that I got into dark literature The cruel twist of fate it's really interesting keep going

Tell me about it. I have seen other authors create decent characters in fetish stories, but most fail at really bringing each character to life with depth and different emotions. Some can do it, but usually only for two or three characters, but @bbykimmy can make an entire cast come alive with a depth that I have only seen in a very few fetish stories. It is amazing how she can take us readers into a dark scene and make us feel it, but also make it completely believable and yet make us want to keep going to see the victim in the darkness get free. So not only does she bring lots of emotion to the story and it's many characters, but she can stir up emotions in each reader. I can only hope to be as good at writing as she is.