About To Propose

[superdiaperbaby]

I have been seeing my girlfriend for a year and we love each other so much it hurts. On new years I am going to ask her to marry me! Woohoo! and I am 95% sure she is going to say yes! Anyways, I guess I like to second guess myself. The only issue I can see is the fact that I am an AB/DL. Now it is not about telling her. I wrote her a letter 4 months ago and basically said that she has to accept that I will always wear diapers to bed on occasion or she must leave me. She said she would always do the right thing and I asked her if it was right to stay with me and she said yes. So we have gone over what I do. However, we have not talked about it since. I am sure it is because I don't bring it up and I just love her so much I don't want her to be uncomfortable, so I want to sacrifice my comfort for hers. The question is this. I want guys who have a vanilla wife to lay some comments out about how their AB/DL life has changed since marriage. Do you harbor any resentment? I don't want to resent her. I realize I am self-punishing myself without even being asked, but I just know that she would not like AB/DL behavior because she is a real conservative person. It is a weird thing and right now we live apart and I have as much baby time as I want. I realize that will go away with marriage but I want a family as well. Is it worth it? I can not live without her though and I want us to be together forever. I also cannot live without diapers as I have tried before and failed and hated it. I guess I am just going back and forth over the unknown future. I think I just have to do this and come what may. Any advice?

Super Diaper Baby

[Valentine]

OK, now with the caveat that I am not married or even in a relationship or likely to ever get into a relationship etc. The thing to do before you propose is to talk about you being an AB, all of it. Make it clear that you have tried and failed to give it up. Don't make any promises you can't or won't keep.

One last thing. Best of luck.

[Repaid1]

You wrote this before:

Congrats! I am actually telling my G/F of 9 months tonight. I get to do it by email cause she prefers to talk about embarrassing things by email as opposed to in person(its her nature). I am taking a big risk cause she knows all of my friends and is in my Sunday School class. For those Christian here, pray for me. I figure I will explain it first then give her a link to my blog on diapers (http://intodiapers.blogspot.com ) and a link to bittergrey and wikipedia.

Super Diaper Baby

If she has looked at your blog, and I'm sure she has..what are you stressing over? You and the soon to be "Mrs.", Love each other right? Well You told her about you, she know's about you, you are you and I'm quite sure that because you haven't mentioned it in a while she hasn't forgot about you...

You just got the ebie jeebies dude..chill!!! Ask her to marry you at midnight and be done with it.. I did the deed back in March and my wife loves me unconditionally, she diapers me whenever she wants, baths, bottles..even surprises of toys when she gets home from work. I consider my wife Vanilla, as before me she hadn't even known what a AB was or even that they existed !

I think your more worried about life as a whole, than you are about you and who you are, and what she knows..trust me she knows and you may be surprised what she knows on your wedding night! Good luck dude...I'll be think'n of ya on the count down at midnight...(that's actually kinda funny you'll have a countdown by millions of people to the time you ask her to marry you)

[DollyDiaper]

Congratulations in advance superdiaperbaby!

My view, for what it's worth, is to 'use' the time you are engaged in the traditional way- i.e. to discuss and explore all the things that concern both of you, your hopes, fears, plans etc., before making the final committment of marriage. Personally, I wouldn't wait until your wedding night to spring anything on her, so to speak.

Wishing you both the very best - I hope you have a wonderful time on your very special New Year's Eve and lots of fun and happiness in the year ahead.

D lly

[Loveable_guy]

"Do you harbor any resentment?" YES, for not telling her sooner. I waited about twenty years or to a point that if it did not go well my children were grown and would be fine without me at home.

We have been married for over thirty years, yes that makes me the old fart around here but there are a few older that I on here too. If she truly loves you and you don’t try to make diapers the main event in your lives together (unless she decides too) you’ll do fine.

My gal is also a real conservative person so my best suggestion would be to go slow and let things take their course, don’t rush it! But by all means tell her before you get married. Things can get very complicated after the ring is on.

Best of luck to you both.

[jenniebear]

Worst case scenerio is she won't want anything to do with it...but if you've told her you are going to wear occasionally....and she has agreed to accept it...then she sounds like she's open enough to at least consider it the norm for you.... but remember that the norm doesn't mean participate...the "ab/dl" thing may always be your "thing".......................although...i'd discuss this more...even if the discussion begins in email...because people often have a hidden agendas of their own...she may think she will "fix" this about you...and not understand that you don't want to be fixed

respect goes a long way as does love .....

I was with my ex husband for almost 20 years.....i was a dl the whole time........he sorta knew it was my kink but that was about it.........i never pushed it on him........i "played" occasionally when i had the opportunity-always alone.........it was like "christmas" whenever i got a chance to "play"

the thing is....i never missed or pined for what i didn't have........i loved him...he loved me....and our energy was focused on living day to day......

When we split up....it had nothing to do with my fetish.......and while i am now in a relationship where ab/dl is a part of our lives.......i still focus on keeping it in perspective........

this post may or may not help but it already sounds like your life has direction and purpose and that this girl loves you and has committed herself to you even knowing your "secret".........as others said....take it slow.......don't expect anything....and accept what she is willing to give ...greatfully.......and believe me......i've learned that in a mature and loving/giving relationship.......that the more you please your partner........the more they are willing to please you...

Best wishes and may your life together be blessed with much happiness and joy!

[Loveable_guy]

Jenniebear,,,,well said my lady, well said.

[Loveable_guy]

Jenniebear,,, well said my lady,,, well said!

[Mr. Sea Otter]

There is some good advice on here. I think that talking about things before you propose is not a bad idea at all. If you don't talk about it though, you should definitely talk about it before you actually get married. You have already broached the subject once, but this really NEEDS to be something you two can talk about openly and be OK with. Its one thing to send an e-mail, its another thing to put on a diaper in front of your wife. Make sure you are clean in what you want, and be ready to compromise on what she will accept. But TALK about it!

[DollyDiaper]

Well?

Did you get down on one knee and propose to your girlfriend (now fiancée?) superdiaperbaby? I think lots of us here are waiting to know if you went ahead with your plan, and offer our congratulations if you did.

D lly

[TerryBigBum]

We are all waiting in suspenders.....erm I mean suspense lol.

[jenniebear]

yep....me wants to know too..................hope it all worked out

[superdiaperbaby]

Well, I was so nervous I flubbed what I was going to say, but.. at the stroke of midnight I got down on one knee and eventually said "Will you be my wife."

and she said "Yes!"

Woohoo!!

I am excited. Thank you all for your advice. I actually did bring up the subject again in an email 3 days ago because I wanted to make sure she understood that diapers are a part of me and to see if she has accepted that. She said she had up to a point. So at least I knew that she still thought about it from time to time. That gave me reassurance and helped me to have a clear conscience when I popped the question. I think we will actually communicate a lot more since we are engaged. I think this engagement period is when we prepare for when we become "one". So I have to think that everything I do will be part of both of us and the same with her. I am thrilled and filled with joy!

Happy New Years Everyone!

Super Diaper Baby

[TerryBigBum]

Well let me be the first here to congratulate you both.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

[DollyDiaper]

Well let me be the first here to congratulate you both.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Seconded!

And pleased to hear you're going to explore and discuss from now on, until the big day, whenever that is. "Jaw jaw, not war war"

D lly

[Three Rivers]

Congratulations to both of you . I wish you the best for your future together.

[Mr. Sea Otter]

First and foremost CONGRATS! What a memorable new years for you both.

I think we will actually communicate a lot more since we are engaged.

I am sure you meant this in a good way, so you can take this with a grain of salt. But I get a big red flag anytime I see stuff like "well, now that we are engaged/married things will be better." You will not communicate better because you are engaged. You might (and I hope you do) communicate better because you both realize that communication is important and now that you are planning on getting married you will both put even more time and effort into making sure you have good communication. But getting engaged in and of itself will change nothing. You must change together if it is something you want to do.

But that is probably what you meant anyhow.

Good luck, and congrats again.

[jenniebear]

I got that little shiver in my shoulders that i get whenever something special or wonderful touches me........Congratulations and as you embark on this new journey always remember the specialness of these early moments...now and forever....

Mr Sea Otter is right about communication ... it will always be the most valuable tool you have.......if you can remember to truely communicate you'll have fewer moments of conflict or confusion and when they are present......communication will help you sort them out.......... you'll be way ahead of many others who struggle each day to understand just what the heck their spouse is about by trying to read their mind.....or expecting thier spouse to read theirs.....

[Repaid1]

Congrats as well and keep us updated, as was said the Key to a successful relationship is trust, and you can't have trust without open communications. I wouldn't harbor on the subject right away but don't forget you guy's have alot of talking to get out and decided, best of luck to you both.