Reading between the lines???

[Baby Brian]

First, let me say this post is NOT directed at any one person so don't think for a moment I am attacking anyone here. Now, as some here may know I have always posted about my beliefs which I have gathered through factual evidence and personal experience. When I make a post, I am both straight forward, and logical, in what I say.

[Elfy]

It really is you that needs to re-examine your beliefs. I mean no disrespect in this, nor do I wish to be mean about it, but that really is just how it is so please take it for the constructive criticism I'm really trying to help you with.

You really need look no further than that sentence to see why you get so many hostile reactions from so many different people at different times.

You have been warned by three different admins in the last week (that I know of) and yet still, it is everybody elses fault. Most people would take a step back and look at these warnings and think "I must be doing something wrong" but instead we have a total shift of the blame away from you. If nobody understands what you are saying or what your tone is, that isn't anyones fault but your own. You come across as self-important and very dismissive of anyone elses ideas or thoughts unless they match with your own.

You say there is no tone to what you say but that isn't how the English language works, every word has meaning behind it, and when you string them together they evoke thoughts and feelings. If you don't think what you write have any "tone" to them then you are wrong, very wrong.

To say you haven't been informed of why you have received warnings or sanctions is disingenuous as well. I know for a fact you have been told because I told you in my messages to you. Maybe if you didn't just dismiss it as "abuse of power" and actually read the messages you would see the problems. I saw from another post in the medical section that you had a problem with doctors or nurses not understanding you and wondering "what is wrong with them". Well, I would suggest that if you have the same issue with a lot of people. You might want to look more internally than externally for an answer.

All of that, plus the ceaseless arguing and pushing of your ideas all over the forum (see the "fetish" debacle) tends to wind people up, then you act surprised when they respond. Not to mention the messiah complex you seem to have with you thinking you are leading a crusade about certain things, if they don't come across in your posts they certainly did in your messages to me.

I know I'm wasting my time with this because it won't be heard by the one person who needs to hear it. But the reason for the "You're being a dick" is because you are. Argumentative, ignoring warnings, dismissing people as "abusing their power" when doing their job, dismissing people in general, etc...

[Born Yesterday]

"Man who drive Geo Metro and tell all friend and neighbor 'Geo Metro best commuter car, you wrong if no drive Geo Metro,' he lonely man."

[Baby Brian]

You really need look no further than that sentence to see why you get so many hostile reactions from so many different people at different times.

You have been warned by three different admins in the last week (that I know of) and yet still, it is everybody elses fault. Most people would take a step back and look at these warnings and think "I must be doing something wrong" but instead we have a total shift of the blame away from you. If nobody understands what you are saying or what your tone is, that isn't anyones fault but your own. You come across as self-important and very dismissive of anyone elses ideas or thoughts unless they match with your own.

You say there is no tone to what you say but that isn't how the English language works, every word has meaning behind it, and when you string them together they evoke thoughts and feelings. If you don't think what you write have any "tone" to them then you are wrong, very wrong.

To say you haven't been informed of why you have received warnings or sanctions is disingenuous as well. I know for a fact you have been told because I told you in my messages to you. Maybe if you didn't just dismiss it as "abuse of power" and actually read the messages you would see the problems. I saw from another post in the medical section that you had a problem with doctors or nurses not understanding you and wondering "what is wrong with them". Well, I would suggest that if you have the same issue with a lot of people. You might want to look more internally than externally for an answer.

All of that, plus the ceaseless arguing and pushing of your ideas all over the forum (see the "fetish" debacle) tends to wind people up, then you act surprised when they respond. Not to mention the messiah complex you seem to have with you thinking you are leading a crusade about certain things, if they don't come across in your posts they certainly did in your messages to me.

I know I'm wasting my time with this because it won't be heard by the one person who needs to hear it. But the reason for the "You're being a dick" is because you are. Argumentative, ignoring warnings, dismissing people as "abusing their power" when doing their job, dismissing people in general, etc...

[AwakenEvil]

Brian

I normally don't say much other than to correct you bullshit notion of what is and isn't a fetish. I'm sorry you are to thick skulled to understand this but maybe one day you'll finally understand why people view you as joke when bring up this silly crusade of yours.

[Baby Brian]

"Man who drive Geo Metro and tell all friend and neighbor 'Geo Metro best commuter car, you wrong if no drive Geo Metro,' he lonely man."

[Elfy]

Its a waste of time. I just spent half my post telling you why you have been warned and then you write a post saying no one as told you.

You are completely blind to what you don't want to see in a way that is truly remarkable. This whole thread is a perfect example of the carrying arguments on across the forum.

You got a warning, correct procedure is to message the mod/admin who gave it and ask if you are unsure why rather than starting more arguments and causing more problems.

[DailyDi]

Why must people keep trying to define what this whole diaper thing is for everyone else?

[Bettypooh]

I was going to say this in private, but since you brought this into the spotlight Brian, it might as well be said openly now. Apologies for the locked thread you can't respond to but if it weren't this way you'd never stop arguing in your replies, and that is a large part of your problem, which has grown to being a Moderators problem now when that needn't have happened.

Something you probably haven't considered Brian: What if you are wrong and the others are right? And what does it matter to you whether they agree with your perspective or not? Do they NOT have the right to disagree or hold different viewpoints? And what use is it when you've already made your point clearly to keep reiterating it? If they will hear, they've already heard, and if not you are wasting your time and theirs as well as pissing everyone else off by beating your long- dead horse. Leave it laying dead and go on. I don't aim to be popular here; indeed I'd be afraid to see my 'ratings'. But I do try to not be irritable to others, to listen to their thoughts, to give them validity and respect even when we disagree. I've been wrong before and I will be wrong again I'm sure- so I listen to everyone to check myself, for it might be one of those times. There's damn little in this world which is completely either black or white- most is various shades of gray, and nobody is going to agree completely on which shade it is.

I spent years and cried tears in therapy learning how to not be like you, because that's how I once was. That's how I know. That's what I see. An irritating, unpopular, patience-stretching person who refuses to think far beyond themself or to consider what it looks like through someone else's eyes. Through everyone else's eyes. If you find most others are constantly disagreeing with you, the odds of being right are on their side, and then it's time to give that a lot of thought because there has to be something behind it. At best you're missing something- at worst you're completely wrong. And there's plenty of 'gray' in between those extremes.

You cannot change anybody else, but you can change yourself, and when you do the world around you changes. You need to do some changing Brian. If you don't, your going to find doors closed to you that are open to everyone else, closed even before you have a chance to say "hello". And doors that were once open to you will be closing too. And it won't be anyone else's fault but your own.

Bettypooh