How Do You Deal With The Curiosity And Pity?

[turtlepins]

I have a pair of bib overall shorts (made for me by a loved one) that I have to be really careful about how I sit. I wear two or three gauze prefold diapers and plastic pants under them, (depending on the time I'm going to be away from home) and if I sit carelessly, people can actually see them. I was waiting for an appointment with my doctor and reading a good book when I got careless. A woman across the waiting room noticed, got up and came to sit beside me. She told me she couldn't help noticing I was wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants and asked several questions. How long have I worn them? Are they comfortable? Where do I get them? Why don't I wear the more discreet disposables? How often do I have to change? Is it embarrassing to be noticed? She was genuinely curious so I answered her questions honestly. But then there were the others in the room (some who remained discreetly "uninterested" in a polite way) and those who showed open pity and even expressed it. I hate that! I never know quite how to deal with it. What's your take?

[Guest diamondback688]

i just tune it out...ive never had anyone ask me any questions before...

[nappyloon]

Hi Turtlepins

I as yet havent been caught out in such a situation, but were I, I dont think I could have answered another persons questions so openly or honestly in a room with others present due to the embarrassment I would feel, however like yourself I would not want pity.

Fair play to you.

"BE HAPPY IN YOUR NAPPY"

[Topguy]

I have a pair of bib overall shorts (made for me by a loved one) that I have to be really careful about how I sit. I wear two or three gauze prefold diapers and plastic pants under them, (depending on the time I'm going to be away from home) and if I sit carelessly, people can actually see them. I was waiting for an appointment with my doctor and reading a good book when I got careless. A woman across the waiting room noticed, got up and came to sit beside me. She told me she couldn't help noticing I was wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants and asked several questions. How long have I worn them? Are they comfortable? Where do I get them? Why don't I wear the more discreet disposables? How often do I have to change? Is it embarrassing to be noticed? She was genuinely curious so I answered her questions honestly. But then there were the others in the room (some who remained discreetly "uninterested" in a polite way) and those who showed open pity and even expressed it. I hate that! I never know quite how to deal with it. What's your take?

That it's difficult for me to have any pity on a grown man who outs himself so flagrantly.

[Repaid1]

I really didn't get that post above, as a incontinent guy I have answered questions openly and in public many times. I expect no pity, but deserve nothing less than respect as any other person.

Quite simply, even if you were a DL/AB in a doctors office or any where else, nobody would suspect any less than it was a medical condition. That being as if you were'nt wearing WTP over-alls. I just want to know how anyone could tell cloth or disposible, unless they knew somewhat of what they were looking for, especially under plastic pants.. sounds fishy to me!

[DollyDiaper]

.......sounds fishy to me!

You and me both Repaid - suspiciously like a Red Herring wouldn't you say?!

D lly

[turtlepins]

That it's difficult for me to have any pity on a grown man who outs himself so flagrantly.

Wow! Harsh! Can I suggest a laxitive, or maybe decaff?

You and me both Repaid - suspiciously like a Red Herring wouldn't you say?!

D lly

Hi Dolly. Having served as a Deputy Sheriff I understand suspicious people. You need to watch some of the old school cartoons and some Three Stooges. Oh! Go easy on the coffee when you're having schnapps. I love you too, sweetie. No red herring this time (although I love eating herring). I don't really know how to deal well with being the object of pity, so I was asking for some feedback. Yours was almost as interesting as the Topguys. Make sure you make everybody in here feel insecure and under attack. It's important. To you.

[DollyDiaper]

People who lack integrity are the architects of their own insecurity and need no help from anyone else.

Just for the record, I rarely drink alcohol but wouldn't say no to a coffee right now.

D lly

[Topguy]

"turtlepins"

You go out dressed to show off your diapers to non consenting people.........then whine about it.

And I'm insecure? You need to get a clue, and some respect.

At least I don't involve people in my little "scenes" without thier consent. It's stupid not to expect a reaction when you do stupid things.

[DollyDiaper]

As I read it, it was me/you/us being accused of making people feel insecure here Topguy.

Well, whatever....

D lly

[turtlepins]

People who lack integrity are the architects of their own insecurity and need no help from anyone else.

Just for the record, I rarely drink alcohol but wouldn't say no to a coffee right now.

D lly

Dolly, people who are struggling with Panic Disorder have insecurity issues too. But I see by your response you felt attacked. Not my intention. I was trying to be funny about saying give a person the benefit of the doubt. I'll be glad to take any comments that discuss the subject without attacking me or my integrity or my security or anything else. If you can't do that, shut up!

"turtlepins"

You go out dressed to show off your diapers to non consenting people.........then whine about it.

And I'm insecure? You need to get a clue, and some respect.

At least I don't involve people in my little "scenes" without thier consent. It's stupid not to expect a reaction when you do stupid things.

Dude, when you get over yourself, let us all know.

[littleJaina]

Turtlepins,

What they mean, I believe, is that bibbed "short-alls" (I'm assuming they were short, as under long pants you couldn't see diapers) are not acceptable atire for a grown man in public. Rarely are they accedptable atire for anyone even old enough to go to kindergarden. What you do at home is, of course, your own porogative. However, dressing so juvenille in public is "asking for it". It is hard for them to take you seriously when you seem to have been directly designing the situation.

Also, they were "attacking" the reliability of your post, and a situation you expressly asked about. I think it is then inappropriate to start attacking them by insinuating that they are being overstressed. If you ask a question, you should not attack people that answer you, even if you don't like the answer.

[diapernh]

honestly, i don;t see the issue with shortalls being inappropriate.... osh kosh used to make them and were sold by retail outlets up until a few years aog..

but we must be careful that when we have them altered that they don't come open easily

[littleJaina]

honestly, i don;t see the issue with shortalls being inappropriate.... osh kosh used to make them and were sold by retail outlets up until a few years aog..

but we must be careful that when we have them altered that they don't come open easily

Well, I know that they ARE made for females. However male and female fashion is very different. I've never seen adult males wearing them, and the very fact that they're made by osh kosh gives me serious doubts.

[justindiapers]

I think the point that is being made, in a tough-love sort of way, is that you wouldn't have to deal with the curiosity and pity if you dressed in a discrete manner. I'm assuming that you were either not wearing a shirt or underwear under the overalls, because if you were, I don't see how anyone could see your diaper.

Personally, I wouldn't say that "short-alls" are unacceptable - they may not be "normal" fashion for an adult guy, but it's not like he's running around in nothing but a diaper. Yes, it'll cause some people to look, but it's not obscene. The only problem is that it will attract attention, which you seem to not like...

[Incontinent Jennifer]

I have a pair of bib overall shorts (made for me by a loved one) that I have to be really careful about how I sit. I wear two or three gauze prefold diapers and plastic pants under them, (depending on the time I'm going to be away from home) and if I sit carelessly, people can actually see them. I was waiting for an appointment with my doctor and reading a good book when I got careless. A woman across the waiting room noticed, got up and came to sit beside me. She told me she couldn't help noticing I was wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants and asked several questions. How long have I worn them? Are they comfortable? Where do I get them? Why don't I wear the more discreet disposables? How often do I have to change? Is it embarrassing to be noticed? She was genuinely curious so I answered her questions honestly. But then there were the others in the room (some who remained discreetly "uninterested" in a polite way) and those who showed open pity and even expressed it. I hate that! I never know quite how to deal with it. What's your take?

I long since gave up on "discreet", it's just too much work, and I don't end up looking how I want anyway...

Whatever.

So, yes, I do get questions sometimes when somebody notices. Not everyday, mind you, but occasionally.

Although I've never been in a situation like yours.

I've had a few children ask why I'm in diapers, and I always end up having to reassure the parents that I'm not offended by their curious kids.

Anyways... If questions are asked without sounding mean, or some other words I can't seem to think of, I answer them. I rarely get asked, so it doesn't take much of my time to answer.

[diaperedpuppy]

i think if a lass ever sat beside me and began asking questions about my underwear - I'd answer and then expect to be able to ask a few about she might be wearing

("Silk Ma'am? Hows that feel then?")

hehehe

DP

[Incontinent Jennifer]

i think if a lass ever sat beside me and began asking questions about my underwear - I'd answer and then expect to be able to ask a few about she might be wearing

("Silk Ma'am? Hows that feel then?")

hehehe

DP

I agree, but I never feel the need to ask about other people's underware. Unless maybe somebody had better diapers than me, maybe then I'd ask, LOL.

[diaprbayb]

Well, I know that they ARE made for females. However male and female fashion is very different. I've never seen adult males wearing them, and the very fact that they're made by osh kosh gives me serious doubts.

About OshKosh

Our Story

Founded in 1895 in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, OshKosh B'Gosh, Inc. has grown from a small-town manufacturer of adult workwear into a global marketer of children's clothing and accessories. Best known for our rugged, men's hickory-striped bib overalls, the Company began making the pint size version in the early 1900's, so that children could dress like their fathers. It wasn't until Miles Kimball, a local mail order firm, featured a pair of children's bib overalls in its national catalog that sales of the item took off. Prompted by the strong response, OshKosh B'Gosh expanded distribution into specialty and department stores, and gradually broadened our children's wear line.

[ab/dljimmy]

I dress to show my diapers off sometimes.So-far a very few have ask questions about them; most just giggle n point.The pity part comes from people feeling sorry for your situation.(probally for wearing diapers or dressing kinda childish)I have seen some guys wearing the shortalls(I had 2 pair b4)I lost them in moving but I'm going to get more.In my outlook on this you ask for comments or questions by the way you dressed.(so deal with that)The pity is just human nature(feeling sorry for someone who is handicapped in some way.Having to wear diapers or whatever it maybe.)

[Red Barchetta]

This has come up a few times, although not quite the same way.

First off, wearing anything as outer clothing in a situation where most other people would not be wearing that type of clothing is going to attract attention - that is not saying the other people are being mean, or noisy, just that it's out of the ordinary, therefore you can't help but notice it. It could even be quite "Normal" clothing, just out of place in a particular situation - example if you went to a party wearing a 3-piece suit, and most other people there are wearing jeans and a t-shirt, that will attract attention too.

That being said, with the type of clothing mentioned, the only hint I could see that might have told what was under them is an extra bulge, so perhaps something that fits a little looser around the bottom? - Also make sure the legs are long enough that nothing pops out the bottom when you sit down (or bend over).

The questions themselves you need to judge for yourself - on the occasions this has happened to me, depending on the situation, I've either just answered honestly, quickly changed the subject, or ignored it all together, depending on if it seemed like honest curiosity, being mean, just an attempt at any old conversation, exc.

Once something like that is out in a fairly public setting, unfortunately it's hard not to have at least a few people demonstrating pity - mostly because they really don't know much about that type of problem, but generally the more relaxed about it you seem, they more relaxed they will be. You might even try stuff like jokes, or pointing out that your brain, and all 4 limbs work just fine, exc. But really they main problem is people know little to nothing about it, some even think that if a fairly young person has that problem, there must be something seriously wrong with there brain (yes that has been mentioned to me before) - show them that there is not, and that's pretty much the end of it. - But it's not the same all the time, you just have to "feel-out" the situation, and go from there.

[Rozi]

I guess skirts aren't an option for the guys, but if someone asks, they fall into one of three catagories:

1. Idiot: these are the people who I just blow off with a "and what kind of underwear are you wearing?"

2. Nice People: I tell them why and when they start the pity I usually respond "incontinence isn't bad at all, heck it even has some advantages. If I had to have a chronic medical condition, I'd pick this over a bad back. Cause I can still do everything."

3. Curious People: I answer their questions, but I'm an open person.

[turtlepins]

I think the point that is being made, in a tough-love sort of way, is that you wouldn't have to deal with the curiosity and pity if you dressed in a discrete manner. I'm assuming that you were either not wearing a shirt or underwear under the overalls, because if you were, I don't see how anyone could see your diaper.

Personally, I wouldn't say that "short-alls" are unacceptable - they may not be "normal" fashion for an adult guy, but it's not like he's running around in nothing but a diaper. Yes, it'll cause some people to look, but it's not obscene. The only problem is that it will attract attention, which you seem to not like...

Actually, I was wearing a shirt. I wear cloth diapers which are bulkier than disposables. The legs on the shortalls are big, and fairly short, so the diapers show from the bottom of the legs when I'm not careful how I sit.

[Guest]

I guess skirts aren't an option for the guys, but if someone asks, they fall into one of three catagories:

1. Idiot: these are the people who I just blow off with a "and what kind of underwear are you wearing?"

2. Nice People: I tell them why and when they start the pity I usually respond "incontinence isn't bad at all, heck it even has some advantages. If I had to have a chronic medical condition, I'd pick this over a bad back. Cause I can still do everything."

3. Curious People: I answer their questions, but I'm an open person.

Excuse me, but how are skirts not an option for guys?

[Guest diamondback688]

i knew you were going to say something...