Wanting to wear diapers more.

[Hades]

Well, it's been a very long time since i last posted anything. I guess i'm just looking to vent and maybe get some advice. I have been married to my wife for 4 years and we have been together for 8 years. Telling her I was a DL was probably one of the most diffficult things I have ever done. She is supportive for the most part. She doesn't really understand though. She thinks my desire to wear diapers is a purely sexual thing. I mean, she knows it's not all sexual because I've told her, but it doesn't seem to have sinked in. She likes that it makes me more excited for sex, but she doesn't get that there are days when I get home from work and just want to lounge in a diaper but not have sex.

[WakkoWannaBe]

For me (and for a good number of people), the desire to wear increases as your stress level goes up.

[Hades]

She was involved a good deal before we got married. I don't know. When our son was born I quit wearing for a while, getting in the dad groove and all. And the diapers just never made it back to a thing that was between me and her. Now it's just a me thing. I'm fine engaging in it alone to, but I can't help but feel like she gets frustrated with me sometimes. And now, with me wanting to wear more.....I don't know.

[WakkoWannaBe]

Hmm. Maybe her attitude towards it has changed?

[Nat]

Perhaps talk to your wife about your feelings and how stressed you are.

[rusty pins]

Stress can cause you to increase diaper wearing if it is calming for you.

[Bettypooh]

Denying yourself the things you need becomes a vicious circle of needing them even more Since you're not alone in this, the first thing to do is have a calm discussion with her, explaining much as you have with us that your wearing isn;t always for one reason and sometimes there's no apparent reason so that she shouldn't be making assumptions based on your wearing And ask her to please let you know if she has a need that she's denying just because she sees that you're wearing; the diaper can come off for that and I'm sure that you are happy to help with her needs too For the time ebing I wouldn';t put too much stress on your increased need to wear until you see how well this works out. If it goes well your own needs may change and the 'problem' may go away because of that. I that doesn't happen at least you're better prepared to choose how to deal with it.

[kevindhca]

I understand what your saying, sounds alot like me.

A big decision is coming, wear or suppress. Only you can figure out which is the right one for you.

I chose to accept who I am and wear the diaper and make the move to identify as having incontinence issues.

I decided I would wear every night for the rest of my life. Even that's not enough.

My wife tells me she just doesn't think about diapers and changing so involvement falls behind the rest of life.

I have a hard time understanding that because diapers are on my mind all the time, but I don't want to impose too much.

I suggest a discussion with your wife about how she would feel if you wore more often.

Wearing diapers doesn't have to change your life at all.

[CDLover]

[Baby Brian]

I think you should try and accommodation your wife by including having sex with her while wearing your diapers at the same time.

Just make sure to keep wearing a diaper for a while (before and after) outside of having sex with her. Try and make sure that she Understands that yes diapers can be sexual, but they are more than just that to you. Eventually she should be able to separate the two being mutually associated with each other.

[Hades]

Yeah im not the most emotional fellow. Lol. That's why my wife was attracted to me instead of my more sensitive friend. She wanted someone like me. Cold and heartless.yeah. thing is, about a month ago i did tell my wife about my desire to wear more. I asked her to be more involved again like before. Nothing came of it. I don't blame her i guess. She changes a lot of baby diapers after all.

I know i should speak to her about this, but i can't bring myself to say anything. This is a vulnerable part of me and by the time i told her i was so used to hiding.

As for the stress, i guess it builds up and i don't realize it. Then all of a sudden my fingers are hurting. Lol. Im laidback so i never realize how much the stress is getting to me.

[Baby Brian]

Yeah I totally get how difficult opening up is. She is your wife though, if you don't maintain the dialog and work out your problems then your marriage will eventually fail.

Women are high maintenance and so are marriages. Don't forget to compromise by giving up what seems like at least 60% too, if she does the exact same then you'll get through it.

[kevindhca]

Totally get all that.

Conflict, where is the red line? You don't want to go over it, but don't have a good idea where it might be.

I think the right question might be, is their anything about me wearing diapers that you couldn't tolerate?

After that it's a question of you being accepting if yourself.

If you become secure in your relationship and get assurance that diapers will not cause it to dissolve, stress should be reduced.

[Bettypooh]

The point where discussion turns into conflict is often found only by inadvertant discovery The thing to do when discussion is taking place is to be watching out for conflict and to stop tryinmg to go further when you find conflict happening. End the discussion but don't close it- simply say that you need to walk away now so you can think things over better and that you can pick up on it later. And that you want to do that

[Diaper Lightning]

Vamp, we are kinda in the same boat.

[Hades]

I appreciate all the advice everyone. We had a disscussion today. Honestly, I'm not all that sure if anything was resolved. I get the feeling that things are going to keep going as they are. Hopefully my desire to wear so much more will lessen. Either way I truly thank all of you for engaging in my session of therapy.

[turtlepins]

I just wanted to say yes to what vampire4 said about the discussion and advice in here!