When poor parents can't afford diapers

[Nat]

Not everyone also knows that having kids is a choice. Some people think they have to have kids so they feel obligated to have them. Yes I have seen parents say this online and I have seen a childfree person saying how they saw a mom using foodstamps to pay for her groceries and she said to the cashier "How do they expect us to afford all this when we have kids?"

[Hookedondiapers]

Not everyone also knows that having kids is a choice. Some people think they have to have kids so they feel obligated to have them.

I said something like that during introductions in

[Nat]

It's contradicting isn't it and darn if you do and darn if you don't situation? If you have kids, oops you shouldn't have had them when you couldn't afford it. You don't want kids, omg you're so selfish. You can't win.

[Baby Brian]

It's contradicting isn't it and darn if you do and darn if you don't situation? If you have kids, oops you shouldn't have had them when you couldn't afford it. You don't want kids, omg you're so selfish. You can't win.

[Nat]

I can't imagine waiting until my late 30's or 40's to have kids. I don't want to be an old mom having her first child lol. Besides anything could still happen where you all of a sudden can't afford them anymore because what if you lose your job or get disabled? You never know so if we all expected everyone to even save up for such situation that may never happen, you are way past your menstrual cycle and it's too late to have kids now because you were long past your menopause.

[toddmdl]

I think most if not all of us would agree that we should not have children we cannot afford and if we cannot afford children we should use birth control. We can say to those parents that you get to lay in the bed you make. That's fine but the parents are not the ones who suffer the most. The children are the ones that suffer the most when diapers, formula, food and clothes, are not secure entities during their formative years.

Those children will then be less likely to do well on school. Then once they grow up they will be just like their parents when they have kids. They will struggle to afford diapers and will depend on government and other charities to help their families get by. These programs are for the children as opposed to the parents. The children had no choice to be born or not so we should attempt to help them not to be stuck in the poverty cycle so that they can be productive, tax-paying citizens.

[Zackary]

I can't believe that I did this topic for a good reason and it became in a: ' "child control" "Don't have kids" ""If they don't can afford kids don't have them..." "Use birth Control" "Vasectomy" Blah Blah' Topic, AS I say, I did this just for make you to know that there are babies (I'm not talking about adults) That needs diapers and whatever, So as I said before: The parents did a "mistake" whichever it was but the kid hasn't the blame, so what? Imagine if you're walking and meet a poor couple that have a sick baby cause he was in a dirty diaper for longer you'll say "If you can't afford her why you had her" and then leave?

So If I donate the diapers or money or whatever I'm doing it for the kids not for the adults, (But of course that IF I can help the adults is better) we can't judge other people if don't judge ourselves first! because not all poor people are lazy, Even is in contrast, Poor people is more worker but sadly in these times even if you work hard the income doesn't reach an acceptable level, can you imagine people that earn less than the minimum wage? and you'll say: "Oh but they didn't wanted to study or didn't study or whatever" So we came to the same problem: Their parents were poor too so maybe they just reach Elementary or in extreme cases neither, but that doesn't mean that they didn't want to study, and I say that because I know a lot people that wants to study because they hadn't the opportunity and I think, Meanwhile there are students that are LAZY and hate school and whatever, there are people that wants to be in there. so can you see the problem?

[drynot]

Spread the hate?

[Guest]

1) The diapers are not for the parents, they're for the kids.

[Guest]

[Nat]

Spread the hate?

[Baby Brian]

Coming into a bad (and temporary) money situation does happen. If it happens after someone has a kid then that person needs to act quickly and turn their life right back around. The reason why we have all this begging, charity, and welfare is because it IS a mentality problem within our society. People see this as a fix to a bad situation that is not of their own fault. This is WRONG, and anyone that supports that mentality is just a wrong!

[Baby Brian]

Oh, and fyi. After 9/11 I graduated from college in debt and couldn't find a job like so many others. For a few months I had to use welfare and SNAP (food stamps), but let me reiterate I never asked for handouts or for charity. They are not the same thing as welfare or food stamps. Part of the taxes I currently, and have always, paid go to fund those welfare programs. It is not an entitlement to take back from that program any more than it is to withdraw money from a savings account. Yes I believe we need these safety nets so people can get back on their feet, but no I do not believe we need to give them a free hand out to prop them back up. Get the difference here?

[Nat]

Coming into a bad (and temporary) money situation does happen. If it happens after someone has a kid then that person needs to act quickly and turn their life right back around. The reason why we have all this begging, charity, and welfare is because it IS a mentality problem within our society. People see this as a fix to a bad situation that is not of their own fault. This is WRONG, and anyone that supports that mentality is just a wrong!

[drynot]

There is a HUGE difference between people who have kids and happen to fall on hard times and people who have kids FULLY AWARE that they cannot and won't be able to provide a suitable home for the child at all.

[Baby Brian]

[Nat]

There is a HUGE difference between people who have kids and happen to fall on hard times and people who have kids FULLY AWARE that they cannot and won't be able to provide a suitable home for the child at all.

[Nat]

This reminds me of my sister in law. She had a kid at age 18 before she ever had a job. A couple of years later she got pregnant with a second one about a month after getting laid off. Years later we made the mistake of taking her and one of her kids in (her first was living his his father after they divorced). She wasn't able to pay her past due bills or food for her son. We made her get a job within a week of moving in with us and the very first thing she did with that pay check was buy a bicycle for her son.... My wife and I kicked her out.

[Hookedondiapers]

This reminds me of my sister in law. She had a kid at age 18 before she ever had a job. A couple of years later she got pregnant with a second one about a month after getting laid off. Years later we made the mistake of taking her and one of her kids in (her first was living his his father after they divorced). She wasn't able to pay her past due bills or food for her son. We made her get a job within a week of moving in with us and the very first thing she did with that pay check was buy a bicycle for her son.... My wife and I kicked her out.

[Zackary]

...if you cannot afford to have children then DON'T!!

[Baby Brian]

I found this post:

[WBDaddy]

So in other words this mom had nearly everything given to her. Seriously? I mean this is great if you have that kind of friends and support, but I seriously doubt most would. Not only that but it sounds like she went around and played people by asking and begging for those handouts. Reasonable expectations of cost for the first year may or may not be over 10K, but they are likely to still be in the thousands, not hundreds.

[drynot]

WBDaddy knows whats going on!

[Nat]

So in other words this mom had nearly everything given to her. Seriously? I mean this is great if you have that kind of friends and support, but I seriously doubt most would. Not only that but it sounds like she went around and played people by asking and begging for those handouts. Reasonable expectations of cost for the first year may or may not be over 10K, but they are likely to still be in the thousands, not hundreds.

My kid didn't cost much either. Clothes were given to me by people, I breast fed, used cloth, I didn't need to buy a bunch of toys for him. Kids don't need lot of toys anyway. I also shopped at thrift stores and yard sales for clothes and if I needed new shoes for my boy, I got them at baby resale store or at Goodwill. I also go to Ross or TJ Maxx, This time stuff isn't being given to us and we still have our baby items from when our son was little so all I have been buying were the clothes and I just got some new pacifiers and hooded towels and some socks. Infants don't need shoes since they can't walk yet but the socks are to keep their feet warm. I am not buying as much clothes this time because they grow so fast and that means I will just have to wash them more often like twice a week or three. Also my son doesn't have a medical problem nor is he special needs and he didn't get sick a lot so that also saved us money. I know shit happens so someone ends up with a sick child and the parent is forced to quit their job to be home with them and bam they need to be on assistance because they are single moms or their husbands don't make enough to support all the finances or they still need assistance because their child eats up most of their income and they can't even afford their finances anymore but that is also exceptional. What can we say? That the mother should put their special needs baby up for an adoption because they can't afford it? Most parents will not do this. Also don't forget some babies can't be breastfed for some reason so bam the parents have to struggle to afford formula unless they make enough to afford it.

[drynot]

I guess it must really be a sign of the times that a single income household just doesn't seem to pay enough for a family of 3 to live comfortably anymore.