You Know What I Find Interesting

[drynot]

you can let your child know you will accept them no matter who they are without having to show them your own private lives. This is one of those boundaries.... you should not be wearing your baby clothes around them, or using baby items around them, or engaging in ab/dl behavior around them... that is something private between you and your partner... NOT something hyour children need to know about.

Providing that it is indeed a fetish. If you suffer from incontinence then I see no issues with wearing the appropriate clothing around kids if that is what you need to do. Might even turn into a teaching moment about compassion and the need for discretion...which can be sorely lacking in todays society.

However...if its your kink....yea...leave the kids out of it. No brainer.

[sarah_ab]

well then again i don't think parents should be parading around in their underwear around their child after a certain age... you know.. like when you stop taking the kid in the shower with you, you should probably stop walking around in underwear in front of them.... and as so many people who aren't doing this for sex reasons state time and time again "its only underwear" so yeah... underwear should be kept private!

you teach your children there are certain things you keep private.... and underwear is one of those things.... so parading around in front of them in said underwear should be a no no.......

of courseinforming the child your underwear is different because your have a medical condition is one thing... but there is no need to continually bring it up, especially if the child doesn't ASK or mention it..... basically if the kid wants to know they will ask, otherwise leave it alone.

[Nat]

Even incontinent people don't parade around in their diapers in front of their children.

[drynot]

If you feel the need to parade around in your underwear in front of your kids then its quickly entering the realm of the bizzare anyway..... I don`t think anyone who is truly incontinent would do something like that....although stranger things have happened. People are weird.

I think this is one of those areas that kids should be completely excluded from UNTIL they bring it up. They`re going to find out eventually as kids are quite clever but once the subject is broached then the conversation discussing the problem can happen.....hence the 'teachable' moment comment.

[Nat]

I don't plan on saying anything to my kid about my diapers unless he brings it up. If he does, I will just tell him I need them and tell him some people have to wear them for bladder problems because theirs doesn't work like other peoples do.

Besides it's not uncommon for parents to dress in front of their kids when they are young so how are diapers any different? Then when they get to a certain age, you now need privacy to get dressed. I am sure there are incontinent parents who do that because they treat them like their underwear. My mother has changed her pad in front of us when my brothers and I were little. She explained to us that she bleeds down there so she has to wear a diaper for it. She called her pads diapers. I remember her telling me someday I will bleed down there too and will be wearing them.

But are there really parents who refuse to dress and undress in front of their small children? I have never heard of it. But yet it's okay to undress in front of your child if they are the same sex of you no matter what age they are. It's when if they are the opposite sex of you, then you can't anymore in front of them. But in some cultures it's all okay to be nude in front of others, even in front of your kids no matter what age they are.

But I am sure people would not want to see a wet diaper on someone so they wear something over it. No one wants to see poop or pee and diapers have those so why would they want to see a wet diaper? How many of us would want to see someone else wet or messy diaper? I am disgusted when I see used baby diapers lying around that are not my son's and I get disgusted if someone in my house leaves it on the counter top. I wouldn't want to see a used adult diaper lying around either. But yet I wouldn't mind seeing a used one on my husband because it's sexy. But once it's off, ew get rid of it. Weird isn't it?

Back when my son was an infant and a year old, I always paraded around in my bra and panties and diapers because it didn't matter. He was young and wouldn't even remember it. Now I am always covered (due to wearing diapers) because he is older now and watches us and my parents to figure out how to act but I still get dressed in front of him and changed. I try and do it in private now like in my closet or bathroom but it's hard. I am trying to get into the habit of not doing it around him before he is older.

[turtlepins]

My kids told me they were always afraid other kids would notice, because I taught 8th grade History and English. To my surprise and theirs, no one ever did, or at least said anything to them. They did have an answer prepared if it ever came up. I guess I never thought about that happening. Incontinence isn't something one discusses with just anyone. We learn that from our physicians! Maybe someday people will have a better view of it. We can hope. I'm certainly a lot more open about it than I used to be, since I discovered my AB self. I'm still careful though. Always think of others needs before your own. That's a good axiom.

[Nat]

I know for a fact when my son starts school, I am going to have to make sure my diapers won't ever show and I wear long enough t shirts or wear a pull up when I volunteer in his school in his classroom or just go there when any school events happen. If a kid were to notice and made a comment about it and I told them I have bladder problems so I have to wear them or else I will wet my pants, they're kids, kids are mean so they may go on teasing my son about it. They're not going to care if it's "medical." All they would care about is getting a reaction out of my son and they'd be using his mother's "weakness" to get him upset.

If I were him, I'd be pissed about it if I found out my mother was never incontinent to begin with and she wore them because she liked to and she was too selfish to give them up or couldn't even put the darn diaper down and just go to my school in panties so she had to pretend she had bladder problems so she have a legitimate reason to wear. That is if I got teased in school about her "problem." I am not sure what incontinent parents do, do they go anyway or not go to their kids schools?

My mother in law has some bladder problems but I have never asked her about it nor has she ever asked me about my diapers. It's all too awkward and creepy to ask her about her diaper usage and I honestly don't even want to know. I thought I heard them on her once but I didn't say anything and I have never seen any in her room nor in her bag and i am too afraid to even look. I am sure lot of people feel this way so that be the reason why incontinence is never discussed.

[drynot]

My wife is a paramedic. She deals with incontinent folks all the time. She often makes comments about what kinds of diapers these folks use. I'm sad to say that people just don't seem to know about the superior brands out on the market as she constantly finds folks wearing Depend pull ups when they obviously need heavier protection. There was one poor fellow not too long ago that was calling EMS quite a bit due to his COPD and other issues. She would always find him in a soaked pull up which had leaked all over the place.....

Sometimes I wish the subject would be less taboo. I'd like to tell people who obviously need something better about brands like Abena and Dry 24/7. If you can't make it to the toilet due to health issues and help is far and inbetween then a superior diaper is definitely required. I wish we didn't have such hang ups about discussing issues like these because many people out there could benefit from our insight.

I was on an incontinence forum not too long ago when a woman started posting about how she just began having issues and she was basically housebound due to her fears about leaks and such. Don't you just want to shake these people? The collective 'we' offered advice about buying better protection and trying not to let incontinence rule your life but she was just so paranoid about people finding out and how embarassing that would be that it just crippled her. Too bad really......

My views are terribly biased because I like wearing diapers...but that doesn't change the facts that as a DL I know what works and what doesn't. I can offer up some great advice and would likely make a great diaper salesman if I ever decided to go into business Lots of us would make great salespeople in regards to diapers I think.

Again...not a topic that a child would fully understand or comprehend. Once they get beyond the need for diapers themselves then it would get quite awkward. However....if the child wets the bed, we would be more than capable of dealing with it than a typical parent IMO. Plenty of people here caught a lot of hell over this childhood stigma from parents who just didn't understand or care about what their child was going through.

[Nat]

I have been on one of the incontinent forums and the people there seemed positive about it. They didn't let it run their life, they wore good diapers and some of them even used Bambinos because of how much they hold but they were not fond of the prints. They even said we (AB/DLs) are good for their environment because we cause companies to make better diapers. They also called them diapers. They said diapers were a tool for them to live a normal life. It just sounded like they embraced their condition even though they may still rather not be incontinent and need diapers but why be so upset about it and let the condition run your life? So they were positive about it. Some of them even said diapers were a form of underwear so they walk around in a diaper only like they would with underwear. One man there posted his wife had a problem with him wearing nothing over his diaper and he asked her why. She said what if people came to the door. He asked her what does she do when people come to the door and she said she puts something on before answering. He told her he would do the same too with his diapers, put something on. She no longer had a problem with it. They also seemed to have supportive spouses about their condition. One of the mods there decided to have fun with her condition by wearing fancy plastic pants like with frills on them rather than plain boring ones. Since non incontinent folks get to wear nice panties with prints and all, why not wear nice plastic pants with prints or with frills on it when you wear cloth diapers?

I find it sad when people let incontinence run their lives but hopefully they come around soon. I think people also need to get rid of the stigma about diapers and stop telling our kids diapers are for babies only. It just makes it hard for them to wear to bed in the future or to wear as adults if they were to have a medical problem. I think the opposite, i think it's mature to wear a diaper when you need to because you are accepting the fact you have a problem and you are managing it. It's no different than taking medicine or using an inhaler or giving yourself insulin shots and eating a healthy diet due to your health. Not wearing a diaper when you need them would be very immature. But maybe I think like this because I like diapers.

[Bettypooh]

I tend to agree Spokane Girl, but the fact remains that many Incontinents just can't seem to get over their need for protection. I hope everyone will be supportive of these people anyway It's always something to understand that while we like and want diapers, they mostly didn't and had that forced upon them against their will. That can change your attitude about things in a huge way

Back closer to the topic ATM, as I understand it a human begins developing a memory form birth or shortly thereafter. In the beginning the conscious and the unconscious are not well separated and the conscious memory term short. That changes rapidly so that by the time a child is a few months old, there will be memories which if strong enough, will stay in their subconscious forever, and sometimes may even be accessible to the conscious. I am of a belief that some of the development of ABDL tendencies happens during this time-frame but I can't prove it. Other behaviors and tendencies do develop or begin to develop then. By age 1 they will remember things; by age two that memory can be permanent. Because of this, I believe that it is never right to expose any child of any age to anything you don't want to influence them in their development and later life

We all agree that this memory will happen at some point, though as to when our beliefs do vary. Thus I think it wisest for parents to make allowance for that from the start of their life which will give you more time to hone your parenting skills in this area. There can be no harm in your starting early, but there may be harm in not stopping soon enough Besides, you're going to be needing to do this for them for a couple decades, so what is a few months of your time in comparison?

Just my $0.02 worth, which when adjusted for inflation ain't worth much

Bettypooh

[gweg]

I know for a fact when my son starts school, I am going to have to make sure my diapers won't ever show and I wear long enough t shirts or wear a pull up when I volunteer in his school in his classroom or just go there when any school events happen. If a kid were to notice and made a comment about it and I told them I have bladder problems so I have to wear them or else I will wet my pants, they're kids, kids are mean so they may go on teasing my son about it. They're not going to care if it's "medical." All they would care about is getting a reaction out of my son and they'd be using his mother's "weakness" to get him upset.

Not to be mean here but do you have proof or some knowledge that your son is going to have this teasing and he is going to be heckled to get him upset.

The reason I say this is my youngest daughter "friend" came over to visit her when they were in about 3rd grade or shortly after that 9can't remember exactly the age) and were horsing around like young girls and this 'friend" came running around and bumped into me hard and fast anyway to make a long story short she felt and/or saw my diaper and later that evening came up to me alone and mentioned she was sorry and wouldn't say anything about my "secret". My daughter never had any problems with being teased about it.

later on I coached little league for my son and a few of the boys knew I "had a problem" as they put it. Again he was never teased or harassed about it.

Some times we seem to think the kids will be mean because of everything they see (as a whole the grown up world is that way) when in fact some thing kids get over better than their parents or all us OLD people.

I've worked with kids clear through high school sports and my kids never got harassed for me or my diapers. They did get harassed some because of what they were or were conceived to be like. I spent a few trips to the school too when they had scraps but never did those come up over my diapers and a lot of kids at school knew I had problems. (we live in a small community though)

[Nat]

I was bullied growing up. Kids even told me how fat my mother is but that didn't last long because they were trying to upset me and be mean but I didn't pick up on it so they didn't keep it up. So I am sure if my own son were to ignore it and not let it bother him, kids may not tease him about my "problem." But your story gives me hope.

[nappylover78]

Sometimes I wish the subject would be less taboo. I'd like to tell people who obviously need something better about brands like Abena and Dry 24/7. If you can't make it to the toilet due to health issues and help is far and inbetween then a superior diaper is definitely required. I wish we didn't have such hang ups about discussing issues like these because many people out there could benefit from our insight.

I was on an incontinence forum not too long ago when a woman started posting about how she just began having issues and she was basically housebound due to her fears about leaks and such. Don't you just want to shake these people? The collective 'we' offered advice about buying better protection and trying not to let incontinence rule your life but she was just so paranoid about people finding out and how embarassing that would be that it just crippled her. Too bad really......

Yeah, I hate seeing people talk like that... people who use inadequate or no protection and as a result won't go out, or plan their lives around toilets, or have visible wetting accidents in public. When they could wear a good quality adult nappy which is discreet and allows them to live a normal life. I guess it's the stigma around adults wearing nappies, or the misguided belief it will be obvious (whatever you wear, wet pants will be more obvious!) or the feeling that it's lazy and inappropriate to go in your nappy when you could try and make it to the toilet, however unlikely it is you will make it in time... I appreciate incontinence can often be cured or improved and people should explore the options, but while they have the condition, good protection is the way to go. Greater visibility of heavier protection in shops and advertising would help, in this country it's never gone beyond "discreet" Tena pants in terms of mainstream products advertised on TV.

[Nat]

Yeah, I hate seeing people talk like that... people who use inadequate or no protection and as a result won't go out, or plan their lives around toilets, or have visible wetting accidents in public. When they could wear a good quality adult nappy which is discreet and allows them to live a normal life. I guess it's the stigma around adults wearing nappies, or the misguided belief it will be obvious (whatever you wear, wet pants will be more obvious!) or the feeling that it's lazy and inappropriate to go in your nappy when you could try and make it to the toilet, however unlikely it is you will make it in time... I appreciate incontinence can often be cured or improved and people should explore the options, but while they have the condition, good protection is the way to go. Greater visibility of heavier protection in shops and advertising would help, in this country it's never gone beyond "discreet" Tena pants in terms of mainstream products advertised on TV.

I would like to tell all these people here to grow up, wearing a decent diaper isn't the end of the world and it doesn't make you a baby.

Okay I wouldn't tell my own friends or people I like to "grow up" because I would be nicer about it. Telling someone to grow up is just something you say to someone you don't like or care about nor care if they like you or not and if you don't care for them as friends so you wouldn't care if they dumped you or not. But it just gets frustrating to see someone not accept their condition and refuse to wear a decent diaper and let it run their lives.

I guess when you are a DL or an AB, you accept it better. I am sure there are incontinent people, such as on that one IC forum I've read, they accept it and are mature about it. Plus I knew a man with IC who went to the old forum that was ran by Lil Vickie before she disappeared, who learned to accept his incontinence and he told me he had a hard time accepting it at first so he was trying to go to the bathroom every half hour and still had accidents and then he accepted the fact he needed diapers and he even went online to look for a better product and that was how he discovered us. he then thought he could learn to like his diapers so he went to the forum to cope with his condition better. But he still admitted if he had the option to give up diapers, he would in a heartbeat. He still didn't like them but he accepted it and lived his normal life.

[gweg]

I would like to tell all these people here to grow up, wearing a decent diaper isn't the end of the world and it doesn't make you a baby.

I guess when you are a DL or an AB, you accept it better. I am sure there are incontinent people, such as on that one IC forum I've read, they accept it and are mature about it. Plus I knew a man with IC who went to the old forum that was ran by Lil Vickie before she disappeared, who learned to accept his incontinence and he told me he had a hard time accepting it at first so he was trying to go to the bathroom every half hour and still had accidents and then he accepted the fact he needed diapers and he even went online to look for a better product and that was how he discovered us. he then thought he could learn to like his diapers so he went to the forum to cope with his condition better. But he still admitted if he had the option to give up diapers, he would in a heartbeat. He still didn't like them but he accepted it and lived his normal life.

Wow that fits me to a tee...

i used to have those problems in the late 90's and I started to accept and gained a fuller life between this site and Wetville.

[WetDad]

Wow that fits me to a tee...

Put me in that same category