Dating -- Difficult To Find Genuine Or Compatible People

[dl10956]

I've used FetLife for months on end and actually met up with a couple of people in real life. Unfortunately, both women were really flakey. While I understand that I've only had a couple negative experiences, and that this doesn't necessarily mean that everyone on FL is like this (they're obviously not), I'm finding it difficult to meet anyone.

A couple of things I've noticed:

- Women tend to be really superficial and discount personality, et cetera.

- It's more difficult to find dominant females into ABDL; most of them are subs, I've found.

- When you do come across the profile a woman who seems completely real, and propbably is, 9 times out of 10 she is taken.

Another problem I have is the fact that I'm inexperienced. I've dated a decent handful of women, but haven't had sexual intercourse or been in a relationship with someone who has any kind of fetish. This, I feel, also turns women off, as they don't want to be with someone inexperienced.

Lastly, I consider myself to have the personality of a switch. I don't like to give up control altogether, yet am not at ALL dominant by nature. I guess you could say that I'm more of a sub than a dom. The problem is, it seems like female ageplayers looking for a "Daddy" figure in a relationship want someone who is dominant/aggressive. Again, I'm not aggressive by nature, and this has given me problems in terms of finding the right person. Likewise, it seems that a lot "Mommy" figures want most of the control and, again, I don't want to give up all of it.

Has anyone else had similar experiences. And not just with fetlife, but with "real-life" dating, etc.?

[Nat]

Nope, I have always dated other AB/DLs thanks to using Diapermates. Now I am happily married to a DL who is my daddy.

[lilJester]

I have had similar issues, but I don't really look for a Domme or a sub. It's more or less just in general women are not interested in me... That, or well, lets just say I actually have standards that they don't exactly hit.

[turtlepins]

I'm convinced there's someone out there who has everything you need and want in a woman, and you will have everything she needs and wants in a man, be he macho, not-so-macho, or AB/DL! At the same time I am glad I'm not going through the process! Stay true to yourself, my friend, be willing to give love without expecting anything in return. People need to be loved that way, and it will certainly fill your life with joy. Don't allow yourself to stay discouraged! She's out there! Keep the faith!

[pleasantlypampered]

Have you ever thought of trying to meet girls out side if the fetish community ? Much easier to find some one n have her get involved in the an/dl world than it is to find someone who's not taken n is already into it...

[rosalie.bent]

Maybe the problem is that you are letting yoru fetish define your relationships. That is always going to dramtically limit your opportunities while not adding one iota of extra compatibility.

[RoyalDane]

Did you really expect to find genuine people on Fetlife of all places? Fetlife is where I go to find people who wanna get nasty for a night or two. The REAL WORLD is where we find humans to date. Go to a Starbucks.

[curiositykilledthecat]

wait real people at starbucks?

[dl10956]

Did you really expect to find genuine people on Fetlife of all places? Fetlife is where I go to find people who wanna get nasty for a night or two. The REAL WORLD is where we find humans to date. Go to a Starbucks.

I'd never used online dating/get-together sites before, and I thought that fetlife would be a decent place to start. No, I didn't expect to find the love of my life there. I've met plenty of real people in the real world before -- I simply thought it would be less awkard meeting people via online websites. Yeah, it's too bad the women I've met have turned out to be complete flakes. I guess I'll just stick to "real-world" dating from now on. I think I've just come to the conclusion that it's extremely rare to find a genuine relationship through these online dating sites.

Anyway, thank you, everybody, for the constructive posts. You live and learn, I guess.

[Forced2wet]

There's nothing better than finding someone to love and who loves you back and then introducing you to this 'lifestyle'

You know they are joining in for the right reasons, because they care for you so much and you can learn so much together.

[lilJester]

i've tried the take an outsider and bring them in and guess where that got me? Oh wait I'm single. duh? ......

[BriGuy]

All the girls I've dated and been with had no idea about this fetish. It's all I'm how it's presented and how you carry yourself

I've never been turned down nor dumped because of my fetish. I caulk that up to the fact that my life is defined through other things and my fetish is icing on the cake.