Advice Needed

[mrmcawesome]

Ok so i know i'm not active here, but i need as much advice as i can get on this

So I was approached to participate in a documentary on abdlism. I had been emailed by the company and told them I would be interested in it as long as I could remain anonymous, e.g. not show my face. So I had a skype call with them today and everything went well but at the end of the conversation the lady said that they would need me to show my face if I were to participate in the documentary.

Now I should clarify that I'm not looking for any fame or anything, the only reason I am even considering doing the documentary is because after talking with the producer I feel like they are genuinely trying to get across that we are normal people and not trying to turn us into a freak show. Also I think they want us to be more accepted by the general public, and if I can be a part of something that helps people understand us and not ask "Are you into kids" When we tell them that we are ab/dls, well that’s something I want to be apart of.

So what I need from you guys is do you think I’m fooling myself at taking them at face value when they say they don’t want to sensationalise us and turn us into a freak show. And do you think I would be a fool for not learning from the mistakes that others have made in the past.

At the moment I am on the side of not doing it, but I really believe in getting rid of the stigma associated with abdl's and I know if my circumstances were different, like if I didn't need to worry about getting a job and what not I would do it in a heart beat. But I’m only 25 and I don’t want to screw myself over.

So yeah what do you guys think?

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Don't

[mrmcawesome]

Why?

[bbgirlmichelle]

My opinion is, if you aren't secure financially and can't protect against being discriminated against for being ABDL, then don't do it. You have to balance what you potentially have to lose by outing yourself to the world against the benefits of doing the show.

If you do decide to do it, by all means go ahead, but don't trust what they say on a phone call, get everything you require from the show in writing and have a lawyer look over it. You don't want them saying one thing, doing another and then making you look like a freak or pedophile.

Personally, I wouldn't do a show, I have a business to run and I know for a fact that I would lose clients if this side of my life was exposed to people on my business side.

*huggles*

Michelle

[mrmcawesome]

Thanks michelle, I think not doing the show is the right idea, but i feel like if it could help people start to accept this type of thing then it would definately be a good idea and something that i would want to be a part of. But i definately see the possibility of financial ruin if i did do it, so for that reason alone i think your right

[Letluvsrool]

This youtube video is an excellent demonstration of how easy it is to edit reality TV to misconstrue what actually happened. I would personally never agree to be filmed about stuff like this. It's very easy to lie to someone and say they're making a serious documentary, then use the magic of video editing to make you look like a complete creep/weirdo.Sensationalism is what makes "good" reality TV, not honesty.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Why?

Murphy

[mrmcawesome]

thanks for that letluvsrool it was pretty entertaining. I do think its a bad idea for me personaly to do the show, but if it benefited us as a community then i think it would be worth it, but then again im probably being fairly naive about the whole thing

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

if it is a bad idea for a person, then since a community is made of persons then it must be a bad idea for the community. The individual exists apart from and before any groups which, by nature, draw their existence based on relationships among individuals

[mrmcawesome]

well i have to disagree their. Like for abdlism to lose its stigma people are going to have to talk openly about it, and in the begining it will be bad for those people, but as society gradually comes to terms with it it will have benefited the community as a whole.

As the saying goes the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Wrong, as they vilify those persons who talk openly about it, their voification, positively re-inforced by others, becomes the norm as has happened.This is best conducted on a person to person basis long before it is discussed openly. Otherwise all you end up doing is keep sending up sacrificial lambs and they keep slaughtering them because that is all they know how to do. For one thing, there is no framework for an informed, rational discussion of the matter and the media will not foster one since they want the thing to be sensational to get ratings and will present the most bizarre examples. Not only that, but when a person opens his yap in the "information society" the rest of us face the risk of being exposed not at a time of our own choosing. The world is NOT Las Vegas you know

That saying is an evil lie since as I said the many (group) has ZERO existence apart from the individual members of the group which exist apart from and prior to that group. That is buiot in to the universe and how it works. If you doubt that, show me one group that has no individual members. That is why Co9llectivism, in the form of Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy and Soviet Russia has failed and those states ceased to exist. it is also the excuse for totalitarianism

[mrmcawesome]

Well i see what you are saying, and its definately something to think about,but the way i see it is that we need to take that first step. Normaly i wouldnt think about doing this in a million years because as you say the media want sensationalist material for ratings. But the company that are making the film seem to be fairly ethical and sensitive. I dont know about the tv chanel but i think its something to consider.

This is a realy extreme example but homosexuality wouldnt be accepted if people didnt take that first step and stand up for themselves.

In regards to people being outed i dont see how abdlism being accepted would out people if the didnt chose to be out.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

When you get into the real world, you find out that it is not accepted. You just do not hear about it. It is tolerated but that is it and somme of the antics that go on at Gay Pride parades reinforce the stigma and for the bulk of the world, there is a stigma

[mrmcawesome]

While i agree that there are still homophobes out their, but definitely my generation are very accepting of homosexuals. Perhaps its just that europe is more open to that sort of thing maybe, i dont know but i would say that homosexuality is definitely accepted here

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

If you believed that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the fiew. then you would not hold Europe's small population as superior to the rest of the world. Here' is why: Which of these is that statement more compatible with: :If the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the ffew, then the wishes, beliefs or rights of the minority are to be overidden and sacrificed to those of the majority" or "If the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few then the minority must be proteced from the Tyranny of the Majority"?. If ten million persons believe that the Earth is flat and one believes that it is spherical. The doctrine that makes the many outweigh the few would dictate who is right, not science. So your statement flunks the test of discerning thruth, as well as the test of history. Maybe if Europe learned individualism the EU would not be ready to fly apart since it could defend its exisitence by a more robust set of principles

[Bettypooh]

I wouldn't do it and I have already appeared on nationwide TV (Not as ABDL) My taped interview was the live short which was filmed and shown in it's entirety and I knew this ahead of time- they didn't have enough of me to do any editing You can't trust what people say unless it's in a legal contract and then if they screw up you have to walk the long road of a civil suit to get any compensation. Their lawyers will be better than yours so the best idea is to just not go there unless they give you (in a contract) the last word on editing, all the recordings except for one copy of your finished product, and the power to kill the whole thing at any point Otherwise they can- and probably will- do whatever they please as you, dear heart, might wish you'd never been born afterward Let someone else take the risk- pass on this one!

Bettypooh

[mrmcawesome]

Ok i think we are having some communication problems here, i dont think that europe is in anyway superior, i happen to be european and was just expressing that it may be different in your part of the world. I know homophobia exist in europe, i have experienced it myself. But i do feel that homosexuals are accepted here, and by that i in no way mean that i think they are not accepted anywhere else in the world, i simply and talking about my experience in my area.

Now i am not sure but are you anti democracy? thats fine if you are but what you said there definately seems to be that you dont like democracy, especially with statements such as "Tyranny of the majority".

And i think that needs and beliefs are two very different things. If people believe the world to be flat, that doesnt necsesarrily mean they need it to be flat. Also my statement wasnt a law was it, its an idea, its a principle, its something thats not set in concrete. It's not a means of judgment its just a motivation of mine. I am in no way a Machiavellian, but i do like that principle to a certain degree

I think if you look at europes situation its that we are to individualist that we are falling apart, we cant agree on a means that will help everyone in the long term. Each country is too concerned with its own well being, and rightfully so. The E.U is not falling apart because we are too akin to sheep following a flock, but rather because we can't agree to give up power to a european parliment in fiscal matters through the IMF. But with greece sticking in the eu we have turned a corner and i feel that we are no longer falling apart, granted the dream of a united europe could fall through i believe that it will get through this financial crisis and be the stronger for it.

[LilFozzyJ5]

I have to say. I wouldnt do it.

If all the past attempts have taught us one thing, it is that they are, will and do exploite you... and sensationalise this, thats why they are making a documentary. who wants to see a boring 1 hour program about people speaking in a normal calm manner about something they do. its not goo tv and its not good business.

I dont think any of the previous appearences i have seen have helped in anyway.

[mrmcawesome]

Thanks for the advice bettypooh, but there in lies the problem, maybe i should be the one to bite the bullet, maybe the mic has been passed to me and i am the one who should sing? I dont know, could just be my delusions of grandeur. I will be talking to the producer, and maybe if i could get last say in edditing, like i am not going to be the main focus on the documentary, my life is far to dull, i think they just want me to talk about what abdlism is to me. So maybe they would be more willing to give me some leeway in the matter, i dont know, but its definately an avenue i would look at.

[mrmcawesome]

yeah thats true lilfozzy, i guess i'm just thinking this one will be different.

[LilFozzyJ5]

I would counter back to you that, that is probably what each of your predicessors thought when they agreed to be on a doc...

but hey your an adult mate, its up to you, you might prove me wrong

[mrmcawesome]

Ohh yeah i know that ultimately it is my decision and i will take full responsibility for what ever happens, i guess im just trying to figure it out myself and i dont really know which way im leaning at this point

[BabyGizmo]

this is my personal opinion.

Having done a local Radio interview about being an adult baby, i can tell you it is not all it is cracked up to be. yes it went well, but my co-workers listened to that station, and most of them recognised my voice. so there was that issue. it didnt make my work life easy, and defenatly did not remove the large stigma we have. but it helped, even in some small way, to raise awareness and tell some people its ok. who knows, maybe it made more of us? calgary could see a baby upriseing!

[mrmcawesome]

yeah see thats the thing if it was radio i would definately do it, like there is the chance that people would recognise my voice, but voices are way easier to forget then faces, so i'm sure the next job you have people wont even know.

How are things now if you dont mind me asking, how bad did things get?

[Darkfinn]

Coming out on TV has gone badly for every single person that's ever done it. The mess caused by media exposure most probably killed Mr. Stanley's nurse/mommy/whatever.

You may be ostracized by friends and family, you may lose your job, it may indanger your health and so on.

It's just not a good idea. The general public DOESN'T need to know about ABDL, and you aren't doing the community a service by going out there.