Love Or Work?

[Elfy]

Ok, heres the situation... I started a job at the end of November and haven't been enjoying it at all. The pay and hours are good but the actual work is not clicking with me at all, I haven't a lot in common with my workmates, and I think my sexuality is causing a problem in terms of rumours being spread and I possibly got targeted because of it today by some mindless bullying (My stuff was moved about and chair damaged and a load of stuff was dumped on my desk)

Since I took this job events in my life have made it clear that by July I will no longer be in a situation where work will be easy to reach (I will be moving in with my boyfriend 70 miles away)

So my choice is:

a) Move in with my partner, whom I wish to spend my life with and get a new job closer to him (I have until July to find the job if not I'll start eating into what will be very slender savings)

Miss the chance to move in with him so I can carry on at work (I really don't favour this!)

c) Find a way to make a 140 mile round trip work everyday

What does everyone think?

[Baby Donny]

Well, it's February now. I'd start the job hunt. You already dislike your current one, so a new job and moving in with your boyfriend seems like a no-brainer to me.

Point is, you're okay right now. I'd worry as it gets toward late May and June and you've found nothing. But start looking now. It's easier to find a job when you already have one.

[drynot]

I think the 140 mile round trip is off the table. That is just too far to commute for a job you don't really like. For sure start looking around right now...like TODAY for work that will be closer to your new home.

However...if you can't find work right away....try to be patient. Your boyfriend isn't going to dump you just because you can't be together right away. Another opportunity will come along. My wife and I currently live 5 hours apart due to this recession and we only get to see each other every couple of weeks or so....but we make it work. I'm sure you can make it work too.....

[Bettypooh]

I think I'd take this approach: Seek a job where you're going to, move there whether you find it or not. In the meantime, make this job easier to handle by quietly knowing you'll be leaving it when you move. Speak of that to nobody- just keep it to yourself and count off the days till you start living as you want to. And squeeze the money till you get that new job- you may need it.

The advantages are that at least you'll have some business knowledge of where you're going to. You'll be less concerned about how your present job affects you since it will end. You'll have the chance to be with the one you want to be with. If things do not work out, you may be able to get this job back, even as rotten as it may be.

A job is just a necessary evil it takes to get money, which is a necessary evil you need to have to survive in this world. Place no value on a job you don't like beyond that, but strive for advancement at whatever job you have anyway. Being able to show an advanced job in a resume usually means more money or a higher consideration for the next job- that always helps.

Good luck and let us know how it all goes!

Bettypooh

[sarah_ab]

i agree with bettypooh here..

having a job we despise is par for course for many people... i had to work some pretty awful jobs, some where there was a clear end in site, such as you have now... which definitely makes it bearable!!!! its still going to be frustrating, but knowing its 'almost over' makes it easier to finish each day... and yes scrimp as much as you can, if this means living off hot dogs and ramen until you move than do it... also cut your cable service to the bare minimum, don't get the best internet service, if possible reduce your cell phone bill. Turn off all lights etc.. to cut ur electric bill, buy some warm blakets and keep the heat down.. start couponing... make a very strict budget and stick to it... get as much money saved as possible... and apply apply apply for jobs where u will be moving.. take a sick day if needed to interview..

and don't give your notice until you have either a new job lined up, or at least a good amount of savings that you can survive a few months....

[Elfy]

Thanks for the advice guys!

I will start looking for a job in the new area and hopefully will be able to line somethig up pretty quickly!

[Guest gnappies]

Not much of a choice as far as I can see. I assume the other half knows your work and financial situation? If he's worth it he'll understand. Not that I am any expert on relationships.

Are you from the UK?

[Elfy]

I am from the UK and I have told him everything!

I'm leaning towards staying in this current job until I can find a new one... My current wage is really good and I am unlikely to find an equal wage in my next job, however I am more than willing to take a pay cut if it meant living nearer my boyfriend

[Rihanna]

Good points above, especially the it's easier to find another job while employed instead of being out and begging for one.

Two points; DO NOT give your current employer and co-workers any indications you are looking for a new job. Self protection. Here in the US, unless in a union, most people can be terminated for no reason.

DO NOT give "two weeks notice" before leaving.

I may be rambling here as I've seen and been through a lot in my 66+ years, so bear with me or move on. A slightly retarded janitor co-worker gave his two week notice at a factory we worked at. (I was in production.) He did his job well. We knew where to find him if needed. He would be located or paged over the PA, usually a couple times a day. After he gave notice, 'they' were paging him many times an hour to every minor and major cleanup that others should have handled. Point is, in my opinion, he was almost a crazy mess by the time he left. (I saw him at events some 30 years later, he's OK.)

After seeing it happen to others there, I took a different turn to leaving. I asked for my two week vacation because "my uncle died." My boss refused so I told him I would not be in Mon to Wed (allowed berevement) which left Thurs & Friday as union open 'no report' days. I could have returned the following Monday with no penalty.

A group of us ate lunch together, including the 'snitch' or boss's pet. I casually said it was my last day as I was starting a new job after the weekend. Don't know if the boss found out by the end of the day, but he was at least amicable when I had to see him weeks later to collect my final paycheck.