I Need Alittle Help..

[confusedmommy]

Hello, i have been apart of this liftstyle and website for a couple months now. I am a mommy to an adult baby boy who is also a sissy. When i first started, i knew nothing about this lifestyle and i needed alot of help. I read alot of articles and posted a few forum questions. Ive gotten to the point where i understand the process and i have helped and actually participated in being his mommy. He has helped me alot along the way and is very patient and understanding with me. I sturggle alot with the sissy side of things so he hasnt asked for that recently.

I feel bad when i cannot do the things he wants or have to ask for help. I have a hard time sometimes remembering that he really is a baby. Sometimes i will say things and joke around with him and he just gets upset cause it hurt his feelings as a baby. His baby side is always there and sometimes i forget that. I struggle with seperating to two. How do you seperate the two? How do you know when he wants to be babied or not without him having to say so?How do you tell him you want taken care of one night without hurting his feelings?

Everything sissy throws me for a loop. I dont know how to fool around with him dressed as a girl and it be arousing for me. I find it hard to muster up the courage to even do the sissy stuff but i fear that he is going to run away eventually if i cant do it all.

I know that this lifestyle isnt going to go away and i am not leaving him for it. I am staying and being his mommy. We communicate all the time but recently its been all baby and i dont want to take that away from him when he needs it so much. I just need alittle advice. Baby, sissy, anything. Please help. I need someone to talk too

[tcc]

I guess I feel a little bad for you. You seem to want to give him what he wants, but he isn't giving anything back - even to the point, and this is also called "topping from the bottom", of not giving you FEEDBACK, to help you be able to "feel" what he wants if he needs something, or encourage you to be able to freely "free style" being a mommy to him. It's something you have to be able to read, and it's something you have to be comfortable with.

Way too often, male ABs are very demanding and want everything to come their way. What is he offering YOU in return for fulfilling HIS needs, wants and desires? That is what YOU need to consider in taking care of HIM - YOUR needs, wants, desires and comfort zone.

It's called respect and being fair. Good luck.

[NewMommy2]

Confused mommy,

Something that he does not understand is that he is hurting you more by not listening to your needs. You don't want to hurt his feelings, but he is hurting yours daily. You say you communicate all the time, either he is not listening or he does not care about the way you feel about things or care about giving back to you everything you are giving to him. It needs to be 50/50 all the way. If not, you will start to resent him.

Just my thoughts. If my baby was not as attentive to my needs as I am to his, I would have a lot of anger building up. We do talk and we talk a lot. And he listens. If I need him to be a big boy for me, he is. He wants to make me as happy as I make him. And I love him dearly for that. You are still young. There are so many things to life than this lifestyle. You both need to be able to share each others interests, not just his, otherwise you will miss out on so much!

[NewMommy2]

And feel free to send me a message anytime you need to talk!

[KittenAB]

Your needs and limits are important too, so tell him what they are. Just note that sexual pleasure is often not what's desired, especially for ABs. It's the nurturing that's really attractive, the sexual arousal some feel is usually because we have blurred the lines between sex and nurturing too much. Just be honest, tell him he has to have adult time to be with you. As for the sissy thing, that is often sexual, sometimes just personal taste. Sounds like it's sexual to him, so find a middle ground.

Basically, just keep talking. Honesty is always the best policy, so if you are not aroused by something, say so. Most adult babies have to split their lives into two, even if they don't want to, but many just can't stand the "all day everyday" scene anyway. One sure fire way to get the point is to law down the law, if you're going to act a baby, you will be a baby, that also means you will be treated as only a baby and nothing more. Just ... find a nicer way to put it than I do, I'm extremely blunt about everything myself.

[Eir]

Hello, i have been apart of this liftstyle and website for a couple months now. I am a mommy to an adult baby boy who is also a sissy. When i first started, i knew nothing about this lifestyle and i needed alot of help. I read alot of articles and posted a few forum questions. Ive gotten to the point where i understand the process and i have helped and actually participated in being his mommy. He has helped me alot along the way and is very patient and understanding with me. I sturggle alot with the sissy side of things so he hasnt asked for that recently.

I feel bad when i cannot do the things he wants or have to ask for help. I have a hard time sometimes remembering that he really is a baby. Sometimes i will say things and joke around with him and he just gets upset cause it hurt his feelings as a baby. His baby side is always there and sometimes i forget that. I struggle with seperating to two. How do you seperate the two? How do you know when he wants to be babied or not without him having to say so?How do you tell him you want taken care of one night without hurting his feelings?

Everything sissy throws me for a loop. I dont know how to fool around with him dressed as a girl and it be arousing for me. I find it hard to muster up the courage to even do the sissy stuff but i fear that he is going to run away eventually if i cant do it all.

I know that this lifestyle isnt going to go away and i am not leaving him for it. I am staying and being his mommy. We communicate all the time but recently its been all baby and i dont want to take that away from him when he needs it so much. I just need alittle advice. Baby, sissy, anything. Please help. I need someone to talk too

He is luckier than the majority of adult babies! I would rather have a babysitter figure than a mommy, who has a ton of sexualized aggression just under the surface and fills babying with a ton of tension. It seems you feel that you are getting nothing out of this arrangement. Try being the most swanky, aggressive babysitter any AB can possibly have, and demand he participate in one of your fetishes as compensation. When he is in the sissy role you should be the alpha female. Make him do: the dishes, clean the restroom, and any household chores you would rather not do.

[confusedmommy]

Thank you so much for all the replies. We talked things out late last night and he decided to be an adult for me last night.

Tcc : I am scared to be a freestyle mommy because i want to make sure i give him what he wants at the same time. i dont want him to be unhappy.

NewMommy2 : He realized last night how upset i was and took care of me and was there for me. I really appreciate your opinion though. I dont want to resent him or make things bad between us.

KittenAB : im not sure how to get into the sissy aspect. We've done stuff with him in panties and a pad but thats about as far as it goes. I want to be more into it but im not sure.

[tcc]

Confused, I was just saying "free-style" as a way to run things by him, armed with what you KNOW, and what you might be comfortable with, and what you might envision being appropriate for the situation. I'm glad you talked. I still think you may need to come to some sort of a common "neutral zone" that you can retreat into if needed, or work out of, as you both come to a common place in AB play or adult play. Again, it's compromise, but fair treatment for BOTH of you. Oh, and yes, WOMEN have "needs", too! : )

[NewMommy2]

confusedmommy, you are starting to get a good response. If you two talked and he actually listened, that is a good start, let's hope he keeps that up and not just a one time thing. Make sure you keep pushing your wants and desires on him so he can give back. I know it may be hard sometimes, the whole feelings thing, but you have feelings just as much and he has to repect you as well.

Send me a message anytime if you want to chat!

[KittenAB]

Thank you so much for all the replies. We talked things out late last night and he decided to be an adult for me last night.

Tcc : I am scared to be a freestyle mommy because i want to make sure i give him what he wants at the same time. i dont want him to be unhappy.

NewMommy2 : He realized last night how upset i was and took care of me and was there for me. I really appreciate your opinion though. I dont want to resent him or make things bad between us.

KittenAB : im not sure how to get into the sissy aspect. We've done stuff with him in panties and a pad but thats about as far as it goes. I want to be more into it but im not sure.

Again, your limits are important as well. You just have to keep talking. I don't really have a nice way to say what you should do if he won't listen to your needs as well, so I'll just leave it at that. It is more damaging to a relationship if someone tries too hard to enjoy something they don't just to please the other person than it would be to find alternatives that work for both.

[confusedmommy]

Thank you all so much for the advice. We're finding our neutral area yet still trying new things. He's been great since we talked! I'm so thankful for this site