Um..... Hi?

[Guest RobertKeyes]

Well, Hello everyone.

First off - I'm not an ABDL. (just googled it) - I'm here because on my daughter (who shall remain nameless) left all of her windows open on the home PC. Normally I don't really care what she gets up to and she is normally fairly open about this sort of thing (for example, she asked me the other day which pornography site would be the best one to visit) - although this is the first time I've ever heard of this fetish.......... Would you mind explaining? I'd rather ask the community in which she's been hiding than directly confront her - I love her to bits, but this is a tadge beyond me. I know she has diapers (excuse me, I'm American, although living in England) that fit her - she asked me to buy them for her Upper 6th Fancy-Dress prom - and she got drunk enough to wear them to sleep. On the sofa. Also, In case you're like me, don't worry - it was a prank Prom (whatever that means) but they did have a proper one.

What I'd like to know is:

What's this about? I don't want to freak out and I'm sure you're all very nice people, but I don't know....... sounds a little weird to me.

Is it a lifestyle? Will it control the rest of her life?

Does it do her any harm? If it doesn't, I'll support her......

How long do you reckon she's been into diapers etc?

I'd really love to get my head around this but I don't want to seem like an over-active control freak. If there is anything you think I should do, please - tell me.

Many Thanks

Robert

[Depends1578]

Hello Robert, I'm sure a bunch will chime in, but I will answer what I can for you.

What's this about? I don't want to freak out and I'm sure you're all very nice people, but I don't know....... sounds a little weird to me.

**It's a personal choice. We all have a background to why we choose to wear diapers, some revert back to the comfort of wearing as a child, and miss it. Others want to regress and be a AB.

It a lifestyle? Will it control the rest of her life?

*Yes its a lifestule. It could very well be with her for the rest of her life. Its very hard to just give up diapers. Some go through a binge/purge period where they try to stop and throw out all the diapers and items, but then end up going back weeks, months, years later to it.

Does it do her any harm? If it doesn't, I'll support her......

*The only harm a diaper can do to you is give you a diaper rash. A rash won't kill you or harm you. Diapers are compelely harmless and the way I look at it, there are way worse things that your daughter could be doing (drugs, prostitution, etc). Think of a diaper just being another form of underwear!

How long do you reckon she's been into diapers etc?

*Good question. The only one who knows that is her.

I hope this helped. Like I said, others from the community will definitely chime in and offer more answers to your questions.

[DiaperFriend]

I'll be boring and just give a straight answear.

-What's this about? Diapers. Wearing them, using them and being in them. =P Like depends said, everyone has a background, and we all have some reason or other why to wera them. Personally, I just think they look nice and comfortable.

-Is it a lifestyle. I'd say it depends a bit. If she likes them for comfort and such, then she propably wants diapers to be part of her everyday life. If she likes them sexually, then she might just wear them to get turned on. Who knows.

-Does it do any harm? Diaper rashs. =P It don't think it can do any more harm to her than any other fetish there is. I don't see why someone would get hurt because they like panties. @_@ ^^;

-How long do you reckon she's been into diapers etc? You'd need to ask your daughter. =/ Or provide us with her account name if she has one in here. Does it really matter tho? =)

I want to say that don't push the subject on her. This is, after all, kinda embarassing thing, so if she doesn't want to tell then dont force her to. Ofcourse, it might also be a relief to her if you tell that you are okay with it and she doesn't have to hide it, but there is always a risk. Accepting it and supporting her is a good way to go. =)

[Repaid1]

Robert,

First off, I think you may have boo-boo'd using your real name on the site. Not only for your sake but your daughters. I don't know this to be the case for sure but I will switch your display name to the boards just in case. It isn't that big of a deal so much, but someone could Google the name and it could point back to you and subsequently your daughter. Your Login and Password remain unchanged. If like you said your daughter does come here, she would more than likely find this thread pretty quick. So the cat would be out of the bag so to speak.

If however you would like it to be switched back I will do so upon your request.

So on to your questions, You'll note that I am a senior member here, both in age and site wise, so maybe I can shed a different perspective from the younger crowd, perhaps not as they are closer to her age.

What's this about? I don't want to freak out and I'm sure you're all very nice people, but I don't know....... sounds a little weird to me.

Probably as a Father myself it would sound a lot weird to me too! The answer here is actually a varying compilation...so don't freak out on any one answer you may get. Okay first, it may be sexual (Don't freak out) Some do derive sexual feelings from this, maybe in part, maybe that's all of it, then again others such as myself get very little sexual feelings from it. There are many variations of the gang here as well and you would need to know which she falls into to get your answer a bit more defined. Basically for the sake of it, seeing as how you mentioned diapers being in the equation, she is either a DL (Diaper Lover) which just love the diaper itself and the feelings it brings, whatever that may be..Sexual or not.

Then you have the AB's (Adult Baby) These are the group that actually fall into regression category. They may regress back to a much younger age, which in it self varies to newborn up to LK ( Little Kid) Maybe even older? Somewhere within this is the diapers, which normally are used to help portray the fantasy within themselves. You may or may not notice other items if you haven't already. Things such as Pacifiers, bottles, toys that seem a bit out of the norm for even a girl of her age. So what's it all about? The short answer is feeling good, whether it be a sexual thing or down to a comfort thing and just letting go of the daily stress. There are many subjects on this on the board here so feel free to look around. I'm quite sure many will scare you a bit, but as you have now, try to remain open minded and not judge others or your daughter, we are all different to some degree. I would like to state at this point that this has NOTHING absolutely with involving real children in anyway, In fact as a whole, our community is of a higher mindset of protecting children from such predators.

If your looking for a answer to why we are what we are...Many of us struggle with that as well, I can't speak for any of them but myself, but the general rule I have seen is we don't have a clue. A majority seem to come from a "normal" childhood and are unable to find the trigger of why, so I just went with the "I am, so be it" attitude long ago. There are some that later in life stumbled onto this and just did it as well, but like I said most of us just are, some know why, many don't.

Is it a lifestyle? Will it control the rest of her life?

For some it is a Lifestyle, for others it is Life, then for others it falls into a fetish that can be turned on and off at many levels. Control is pretty harsh, I will say that predominately in my 30+ years of knowing these feelings, that vary few move away from this completely. Milage may vary here, but more than likely she has had these feelings for a bit, and will have them for the rest of her life. Whether she chooses to act upon them would be up to her.

Does it do her any harm? If it doesn't, I'll support her

As was mentioned above it is within us for some reason, so no it's a no harm no foul for the majority of the community. Other than the feelings of trying to figure this all out, which I think most of us have or still do there is no harm in this. I will say we get some wacko's, but what group doesn't. Please do not judge "us" by them. I think support would be good if she wanted that from you, but probably at this point you should remain distant until approached. You know your daughter better than us, there is the possibility she left the browser open so that you did find out? You may think about telling her something simple like "You may want to close your windows on the computer you never know who is looking, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. And if not that's fine too, you are who you are and a woman capable of making her own decisions." Or something along those lines.

The other stuff I think I covered along the way. So best of luck to you and your daughter. Feel free to click through the Forums here, and stay away from those that you might find out of your realm. Once again try not to judge, This is and will always be a adult site with adult members. (18+)

EDIT: I am moving this post to the proper forum, to which I feel it belongs.

[Peanut-head]

Well I would say don't freak out-- u said u bought her diapers before how did that come about..u Must have had a conversation about it. Is she a bedwetter? Because u know she might have just been curious to know if there are other bedwetters that have a need to wear diapers and googled it and came here without really being "into" the diapers.

That said if she is an ABDL the best advice I can offer is to give her privacy and don't confrot her about it. She must be really comfortable with u to have asked u to buy her diapers even if it was just a prank..she must really love and respect u ..I would not want to let thus get in the way of your relationship with her. There are ALL different areas of the spectrum with this ABDL "fetish" like "im curious and find it humerous because i hearrd or saw it on tv" or "this is my sexual fetish I like to role-play with my wife/husband" or "I just like how they feel on me and wear occasionally" or "I wear 24/7 for non sexual reasons" it really is a whole bunch of different people with different reasons on here and we all have different reasons we wear or are curious about diapers. Only she can tell u why she likes them and what she does with them in her life but I wouldn't push the issue

[Diapered Jason]

I think Repaid1 gave the best and most complete answer to your questions. You will find this does not have to be a lifestyle and it can be sexual as is the case with myself. I am sure though if you read through some of our posts, you will discover the complexities involved in defining ourselves or discovering how we came to be.

Seeing as I was in her situation awhile ago, I disagree with Repaid1 in that it is probably best not to confront her about this unless she confronts you. I would not even try to getter her or hint that you know in an attempt to make her confront you. If I were you, I would forget it and move on. That's just my opinion though.

[Repaid1]

I think Repaid1 gave the best and most complete answer to your questions. You will find this does not have to be a lifestyle and it can be sexual as is the case with myself. I am sure though if you read through some of our posts, you will discover the complexities involved in defining ourselves or discovering how we came to be.

Seeing as I was in her situation awhile ago, I disagree with Repaid1 in that it is probably best not to confront her about this unless she confronts you. I would not even try to getter her or hint that you know in an attempt to make her confront you. If I were you, I would forget it and move on. That's just my opinion though.

Reread my post: "I think support would be good if she wanted that from you, but probably at this point you should remain distant until approached."

[Diapered Jason]

Reread my post: "I think support would be good if she wanted that from you, but probably at this point you should remain distant until approached."

Sorry, I was referring to this part; "You may think about telling her something simple like "You may want to close your windows on the computer you never know who is looking, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. And if not that's fine too, you are who you are and a woman capable of making her own decisions." Or something along those lines."

I was saying I would not even do that. I perceive that as confrontational, albeit it very indirectly, but you are sill letting her know that you know.

[sweetandsensitiveguy]

My advise to you if your truly serious that your open minded is to sit her down and talk to her just ask her. I mean her reason for having diapers may not be for what you think depending on her age if lets say she in college it might be cause she knows that she wets if she drinks to much. She might be having problems controlling her bladder and just have them in case and maybe embarrassed to tell you that.

Dont jump the gun thinking she is into wearing diapers for fun but if she is then be supportive. Dont tell her you dont want her to wear. My parents did to me and it just made things worse. Just ask her and be claim about it. If you found the diapers and she doesnt know just show her the diapers and ask nicely why do you need these i wont judge you.

If more parents where open minded and just talked to their kids who have diapers it would be easier on their family.

[LuvsGurl]

Generally speaking, ABDL is probably one of the safer fetishes out there.

Your daughter may want to regress and relive certain elements of her childhood, she may want to wear and use diapers, she may want to dress a bit on the juvenile side and color or play with toys.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with these desires. They are legal and safe and generally don't hurt anybody. At most the only thing she's got to worry about causing harm is the occasional diaper rash.

If I were you, I'd keep quiet about it. This is (obviously) a very personal matter and if you barge in with "look what I found", even to be supportive, it could cause problems. Let your daughter have this time to explore herself and her desires. If you maintain a positive open line of communication she may come to you about this if she feels it is necessary. I know a lot of young ABDLs who wish for supportive parents.

Good luck!

[AutieAB]

I think something that hasn't been said (I admit, I skim-read beyond the first post though) is that for the vast majority, this isn't something that goes away. Sure, it waxes and wanes (particularly with stress levels in the rest of her life) and desires change over the years but it's very uncommon for somebody to simply wake up one day and not have AB or DL feelings any more.

Sometimes parents or partners like to think "maybe she'll grow out of it" or that they can discourage it in some way (I'm not saying you will, but some do) and the person won't have their ABDL desires any more. Many of us can testify that this does not work and will simply drive her activities further underground. Speaking personally, I've had these desires since I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was 'caught' a couple of times over the years and had things taken away from me but it simply caused me to be more careful hiding it in future and reinforced my desire to explore this side of me when I was able to in the future. Similar stories have been told countless times by countless people here. So just pretend you don't know, even if you both know that you do.

Something else that I don't think has been mentioned is in the "will it hurt her" category. Physiologically, no it can't beyond diaper rash as people have said (and certainly when compared with other types of 'stress relief' habit - smoking, drinking and worse) but psychologically, in the early adult years, being an ABDL can be a hard thing to come to terms with. Sometimes it can be a source of depression and self-disgust and can lead to periods of over-indulging and/or periods of getting rid of 'everything ABDL' that you own. We tend to call this the 'binge-purge cycle'. It happens when you haven't yet come to terms with enjoying something that's so wildly different from the norm and feel bad about eventually most people move past it and learn that it's OK and that everybody enjoys something different and there's nothing wrong with that. There's not much you can really do about it to ease or speed the process but I just wanted to illustrate the course of events that is often involved in coming to terms with being an ABDL.

Repaid, did you send the OP a PM with a link back to this thread? The only reason I ask is because the first time I ever posted on a forum many, many years ago, a moderator moved my thread and I assumed it had been deleted until it was pointed out to me much, much later that it had just been moved somewhere else

[Repaid1]

Repaid, did you send the OP a PM with a link back to this thread? The only reason I ask is because the first time I ever posted on a forum many, many years ago, a moderator moved my thread and I assumed it had been deleted until it was pointed out to me much, much later that it had just been moved somewhere else

A note was left in the original section pointing to the thread and saying it was moved. Although he hasn't logged into this account since this first post.

[PeytonJ]

I know a number of people have given you their two cents. Now I would like to give you mine.

What's this about? I don't want to freak out and I'm sure you're all very nice people, but I don't know....... sounds a little weird to me.

Like the others said, it varies for every person. Some people find it sexual and others -like myself- just do it because it's a comfort thing that seems to help a lot more than the typical things society deems normal for finding comfort. She might have some 'paraphernalia' such as adult sized pacifiers or just pacifiers in general, you might notice a larger amount of coloring books, her demeanor changing a bit at times if she's not just a DL, etc. There's a lot that plays into why people do this, but everyone's different. You might be concerned about her being on a site like this because of all the stories you hear in the media portraying us differently than how we're currently explaining.

Repaid said a lot of people can't give you an exact answer as to why they do this, but for myself I've suffered a lot of trauma from an early age. I grew up in an environment that didn't provide what I needed at the time when I was a baby and toddler. And through life I've continued to find myself traumatized. I wear diapers and regress to a younger child, because I feel safer that way. For me, it's all a sense of safety and comfort. And oddly enough, I find sucking on a pacifier helpful from preventing acting on self-harm thoughts. There's something therapeutic about this whole thing.

Is it a lifestyle? Will it control the rest of her life?

For some it will remain in their lives until they eventually aren't with us anymore, and for others a one time thing, or something they can easily step away from at any given time but come back at also. If she's a AB, DL, etc then it most likely is a lifestyle... but she could be different from a majority of people. I know I tried to give it up for a while and lasted about two months. However when I admitted that I couldn't live without it, I actually felt a lack of need to participate in the behaviors and actions that I usually do when I'm active. And I don't think you need to worry about this totally consuming her life. For most they can perfectly balance an adult life with their little side. Not everyone needs their little side to come out every day. Like myself, it's mostly when I'm too stress out and almost at my breaking point. Everyone is different.

Does it do her any harm? If it doesn't, I'll support her

Honestly I can't find much that would harm her. Although if you want to say becoming fully incontinent is harmful, then i guess that's something you could worry about. However it would ultimately be her choice to make herself incontinent. Diaper rash would be something to worry about, but she probably knows how to prevent it after getting it once. I seriously can't find many ways it could harm her..but that might be due to the fact that I'm an active participant.

Anyways, I just want to let you know, that if you do one day sit down and she wants to tell you about this, it's going to be really difficult for her. I know it was hard for me to tell my own mother. But it seems like you're a pretty supportive dad, and she's very fortunate to have you as a father. Just remember to be sensitive if you do talk.

[RK-Dad]

Hello everyone

Many thanks for all of the advice: I shall just leave her be for now, and hope that if she does feel that she needs to talk to me, I'll be there and supportive.

Again, Many thanks, espcially to Repaid1, for moving the post. I didn't see this bit of the forum!

I will pop onto this forum again if I ever need any more advice on the subject.

Robert

[LilFozzyJ5]

hi Robert,

very brave and considerate of you to try and get some understanding of this lifestyle you think your daughter is into in case she speaks to you about it.

many folks above have done a great job of answering your questions.

If i may add my two pence. in my experience of talking to other abdls there are many 'levels' of this lifestyle/fetish. I have tried to make a list of what i have observed.

1. paci/dummy/thumb suckers, not exactly abdl, but close enough to put on the list. The ones I talked to do it for comfort.

2. diaper/nappy lovers. Thes folks just like the feel of the diaper, they might feel safe and secure in it, it might comfort them.

3. diaper lovers who 'use' their diaper for No.1. same as above, but they are on the next level so to speak.

4. Diaper lovers who 'use' their diaper for a No.1. or No.2. Same as above really.

5. Adult Baby. these folks actually want to feel like they are back in infancy, often they will have more than just diapers, they might have adult sized baby clothing, furniture, bottles, paci's, toys, etc... anything to help them feel more like a child.

6. Adult babies going No.1. same as the DL above, these folks go to the next level.

7. Adult babies going No.1. or No.2.

8. Adult babies who actively seek regression though hypnotic CD's or some other form, they may wish to regress 24/7.

Now anyone of these 'levels' can be sexual in nature, or just to 'de-stress' from life's pressure. Or both.

there are some sub catagories to also consider within the sphere of abdl and some or all can slide into the above list.

1. Furries, these folks like to fantise about being a walking talking animal, or even get a fur suit they can wear, and yes there is a branch of furries that want to be baby animals, cubs and pubs etc. foxes are very in at the moment.

2. Sissies, obviously this is going to be a male orintated sub section, men who not only wish to be a baby again, but wish to be a baby girl, with all the frilly, silky pink attachments that go with it.

3. Caregivers, these folks want to look after abdl's they may take on the role of a parent figure, or an older sibling, or a nannie/babysitter or nurse.

4. switches, these are abdls, who can and will also 'switch' to a caregiving role. depending on their situation.

5. RP, role players, these folks enjoy role playing online or in real life with others, creating scenarios to act out. it can be sexual or non sexual.

5. BDSM, there is a lot of scope to enjoy the world of BDSM within the world of ABDL. baby reins, punishment, forced diapers etc... for two consenting adults the mix of abdl and bdsm can be a lot of fun (Apparently).

As for life style, well yes for most of us it is a life style of some sort. A lot do go throught the bing purge cycle mentioned, partly due to a feeling of self loathing, because they feel there is something wrong with how they feel. so stuck in societies exacting measure of whats ok and what is not. For some like myself, I had these feelings when i was 9 back in the eighties, and it wasnt until i was in my late 20's that i found out i was not alone and it was ok to enjoy this.

For some this goes beyond just being a fetish and it is truely a life style.

Reasons for being into this, they are wide and varied, from the people i have spoken too there are several common answers, athough these are not the only reasons.

1. sexual desire, they have attached a sexual feeling towards wearing and using diapers.

2. emotional need, due to some trauma or incident in their past, thes folks seek infancy, where life was less complicated and they were unconditionally loved and looked after.

3. De-stress, in this modern age everyone is stressed up to the eye balls, for some the simple act of sliding a diaper under their tush is enough for all the adult worries to slip away. very similar to an emotional need, and sometimes both are part of a persons need to be an abdl.

4. curiousity, this one cant be over stated, seeing someone else in one, or spotting a glimpse of an adult wearing or such might be enough for someone to get curious and do a little research, and then find they like the idea.

5. medical reasons, these folks have actually got a need to wear some protection because of a multitude of conditions that have left them with a need to use diapers. Some of these folks have come to accept their lot in life and use the abdl world to make light of their situation. some already had some form of abdl feelings. A few I havespoken to explained once you are in em 24/7 the fun looses it appeal.

Im sure there are many other reasons, but in my experience these are the general common ones i have come across.

As fetishes go, I think abdl is a safe one, and as mentioned above there is a lot worse to find out your baby girl is into. I hope this has helped you understand it a little bit more, my findings are by no means difinitive.

cheers

Fozzy