Breaking The Ice

[beachxbunni123]

Say that your partner came out about their BDSM fantasies to you, yet you have not told them your secret desire... How do you tell that certain someone that you've been with for a long time that you are an ABDL? Do you give hints during BDSM play or do you just 'break the ice' and 'come out' about it (If so, explain why you believe so.) Thanks!

[BBB]

If you've been with them a long time, then you know them... Certainly better than any of us.

Just do it with how you feel they'd be most receptive.

[beachxbunni123]

If you've been with them a long time, then you know them... Certainly better than any of us.

Just do it with how you feel they'd be most receptive.

I don't feel anyone would be receptive to learning that their significant other is an ABDL.

[BBB]

Ok. If that's your view... Then dont tell. Why would you even ask?

[wishing for diapers]

I don't feel anyone would be receptive to learning that their significant other is an ABDL.

If your SO is a guy, you have being a girl in your favor. It seems guys are more accepting of a girls "quirks" than the other way around.

I wouldn't, however, suggest just popping it out if you've been with them for a "long time", but if that's what they just did to you with their BDSM interests then maybe all is fair in this case.

Good luck.

[beachxbunni123]

Ok. If that's your view... Then dont tell. Why would you even ask?

Simply, if you don't want to post advice... Then don't tell.

If your SO is a guy, you have being a girl in your favor. It seems guys are more accepting of a girls "quirks" than the other way around.

I wouldn't, however, suggest just popping it out if you've been with them for a "long time", but if that's what they just did to you with their BDSM interests then maybe all is fair in this case.

Good luck.

I love hearing insight such as this. Thanks!

[bignappybo]

Just be honest with them and say, after all they have told you there secret.

[beachxbunni123]

Just be honest with them and say, after all they have told you there secret.

I understand but it is not that easy for people to open up about being an ABDL. Telling your significant other you're into ABDL is far more of a shock than hearing someone come out as gay.

[Guest dragonmaster4066]

if your SO is into bdsm, and you listen to him when he came out about it. he should be more than willing to hear your story also. let him know that the two things are closely related and can go together very well. as far as "breaking the ice" i would suggest that you get him talking about bdsm then mention that you to have desires that can play into it also. then if your AB, explain the dynamics of a daddy/lg relationship compared to a dom/sub relationship. he may like the idea of him having the power and treating you as his "little girl" good luck and hope it works out for you.

[beachxbunni123]

if your SO is into bdsm, and you listen to him when he came out about it. he should be more than willing to hear your story also. let him know that the two things are closely related and can go together very well. as far as "breaking the ice" i would suggest that you get him talking about bdsm then mention that you to have desires that can play into it also. then if your AB, explain the dynamics of a daddy/lg relationship compared to a dom/sub relationship. he may like the idea of him having the power and treating you as his "little girl" good luck and hope it works out for you.

That's such sweet advice! Thank you so much.

[square_duck]

This question has come up in different ways over the years, and there are some different answers. One is it depends on how well you know the other person and if you trust them and know them to be open and non judgmental etc.

The rest are kind of variations of this, and also includes reasons why you feel you need to share this subject with anyone, unless it's someone you are very intimate with.

Basically, I have come to the conclusion that it's really unnecessary to tell or share this with anyone, unless you are getting married etc.

whats the difference between a diaper and say French cut hip hugger panties or thongs or full cut briefs or something from Victorias secret??

Nothing really, they are all underwear, and serve a purpose and can help the wearer feel more sexy or grown up or.......what ever.

Ok, you're a D/L and prefer top wear diapers and use them....BFD....that freaks some people out and others can go "what ever" *shrug*

I don't go around telling people that I wear fruit of the loom colored briefs (ooopppss! ) because it's basically none of their business!

Generally I don't care whats under other peoples clothes...well....unless it' some really cute lady type person

But essentially it's one of those "don't ask don't tell" things, unless they ask you if you "just happen' to have any kinks or 'different interests" and the conversation drifts down "that" road...then you might lay the D/L thing on the table and see where it goes..

But just blurting out at some odd awkward moment..."Oh..AND BTW, I LIKE TO WEAR DIAPERS" Soooo blah blah blah...

As I said....awkward,

So, personally I just keep my underwear preferences to myself unless asked abuot....ohhh Odd interests" that I might have etc. (I'm pretty vanilla in the rest of my existence ) so it might come as a 'shock' to some to find out I do indeed have a 'kink"..... MEH.

But thats just me.

You have to go by your own path and use your own judgment with the people you hang around. It's really one of those questions that you 'COULD" tell this person.....but "SHOULD" you, because once the cats out you can't get it back..

Have a great weekend!

EDIT: sorry, I missed the whole BDSM thing sooo take what you will and leave the rest if it helps

[BBB]

Simply, if you don't want to post advice... Then don't tell.

Actually, I gave you the best, most accurate response. Youre the only one in this thread that knows this person, and if the relationship is as developed as you suggest, then you already know this persons moral and ethical views, as well as thief take on kinks, quirks, and generally how they perceive people.

Youre not looking for a way to tell them. You're looking for courage and bolstering from other people. Which is fine. We all need support.

So if you ask for jnput, and you get it (which you did), and then Respond that you don't think anyone will ever accept some one with this kink... You obvoliously are asking for the wrong reason.

Btw, never once did a partner reject me for my kink. I knew the people and I knew how to express myself to be best received. Which is exactly the advice I gave you.

[beachxbunni123]

Actually, I gave you the best, most accurate response. Youre the only one in this thread that knows this person, and if the relationship is as developed as you suggest, then you already know this persons moral and ethical views, as well as thief take on kinks, quirks, and generally how they perceive people.

Youre not looking for a way to tell them. You're looking for courage and bolstering from other people. Which is fine. We all need support.

So if you ask for jnput, and you get it (which you did), and then Respond that you don't think anyone will ever accept some one with this kink... You obvoliously are asking for the wrong reason.

Btw, never once did a partner reject me for my kink. I knew the people and I knew how to express myself to be best received. Which is exactly the advice I gave you.

As a matter of fact, I AM looking for a way to 'Break the Ice' on this topic (hence as to why I started this post) and suggetsions on giving hints. Also, it is reasonable to say that not a lot of people have an understanding on this kink. Nonetheless, I appreciate your perspective and experienced advice.

[babylin]

If you are between puberty and menopause, why not just let yourself be discovered wearing a diaper during your period?

Helps you cope......turns you on........for whatever.

HAPPINESS IS WEARING COTTON DIAPERS

[Mantra]

This is super difficult. I think it's pretty much impossible to share this type of secret and have it be a positive thing, unless your partner is into a similarly kinky thing. So, it depends on the type of BDSM he is into. It's a spectrum. If he is into some seriously kinky shit, and you indulge him a bit, I highly doubt it would much of a problem to introduce your own fetish to him. If he is just into some light spanking with handcuffs (this can hardly be considered BDSM it's so vanilla) then it's unlikely he will react positively. So it depends.

You can also talk about ABDL as it sits within the BDSM spectrum. Relate it to being submissive and losing control, and he may understand where you are coming from. But, if you both end up being bottoms (if he likes to take the submissive BDSM role, just like you do in the ABDL sense) you may have a trickier dynamic.

[sarah_ab]

anyoje else notice the ops trend of making posts asking for advice then arguing with all advice given?

yeah anyway if your so out and tells you their fetishes then its fair game ....

[Bettypooh]

A tough call to make Timing can be everything along with the approach- you're the one who knows those two better than us If they're easily shocked, avoid anything shocking. If not, having them 'find' a diaper underneath your clothes is an option that may add to the fun and excitement they were planning Being preoccupied, they won't be inclined to worry about it much at the moment If that's too extreme, when the conversation allows, steer it to underwear and mention that you heard something about diapers and that you might just try one on for fun (see "fun" above for context) Or when a baby commercial comes on TV, start "playing the role for fun" and see how they react. Even as unusual as this is, it's relatively tame so things might go better than you think Our minds always over-rate fear so as long as you understand that, you can figure out your next step. The key with anything is see how they react to the small, introductory things then use that to figure out your next move Of course you could always start having 'accidents' and play it off as something which your doctor says will pass soon. Then you could ask directly what they would think of you wearing diapers till the condition clears up

Bettypooh

[AlliR]

Bettypooh said it best. It is always better to test the waters first before jumping in with both feet. My own experiences in exposing a fetish is to do it in small doses. Because you know your SO, you should have some idea as to how you can open up a topic that hints of your fetish desires and see where it leads. If it's really bad news, you can back out quickly with little damage. If, on the other hand, he digests it pretty well, you can always add more info to the conversation. I've used this "small doses" method on some really vanilla people with mostly good results. Taking into account that he is already into his own form of BDSM, I would expect that your introduction of your own fetish information would be a bit easier.

Remember what Carrie Nations says, "Everything in Moderation".

Alli

[diaperbrownie]

Reciprocate! When you are in the middle of whipping your BDSM who is wrapped in leather resraints and gags, take a second to say "oh by the way, I am a baby, and wear diapers, and need you to change me from here on out".

The funny part is, if they are right on the edge of orgasm, they have to comply with your odd requests, otherwise they will be sexually frustrated. Sex is a powerful motivator, so use it to your advantage. Put them in a position where thye have to agree to change you and diaper you during sex.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I think if your partner is sharing his/er kinks then it is fair game to speak about yours. If someone is sharing their sexual fantasies then they are acknoweldging and accepting vulnerability and if you share yours in the same light it may strengthen your relationship.

[beachxbunni123]

This is super difficult. I think it's pretty much impossible to share this type of secret and have it be a positive thing, unless your partner is into a similarly kinky thing. So, it depends on the type of BDSM he is into. It's a spectrum. If he is into some seriously kinky shit, and you indulge him a bit, I highly doubt it would much of a problem to introduce your own fetish to him. If he is just into some light spanking with handcuffs (this can hardly be considered BDSM it's so vanilla) then it's unlikely he will react positively. So it depends.

You can also talk about ABDL as it sits within the BDSM spectrum. Relate it to being submissive and losing control, and he may understand where you are coming from. But, if you both end up being bottoms (if he likes to take the submissive BDSM role, just like you do in the ABDL sense) you may have a trickier dynamic.

Well, he is extremely aggressive and dominant and told me that he is into not only the pain in BDSM, but the 'other part', and always wants to tie me up.

Also, one time I played this online role playing game called LOTRO (Lord of the Rings Online) just for like a week or 2 to try it (to prove to him that I can understand how to play geek games lol) and in that game you can 'adopt' people as your child or parent and it shows up in their name title that they are NAME's Daughter/Father (which I thought was odd since it was sort of ABDL in that game). Most people don't ADOPT others unless it's their real life son/daughter playing the game with them though. So what happened was I joined a kinship and one of the older leaders and I thought it would just be funny to try and he 'adopted' me as their child and my SO saw it and said that he thought that was "really, really cute" that I have an in-game 'Daddy'. But I could tell he was really upset and jealous about it so I unadopted him lol.

[timmyc]

Browse Fetlife together, see what he likes and when you get to an AB picture or a daddy daughter group, make a positive comment

Call him daddy during a spanking

when tied up, have an accident or suggest diapers before a long scene.

[beachxbunni123]

Browse Fetlife together, see what he likes and when you get to an AB picture or a daddy daughter group, make a positive comment

Call him daddy during a spanking

when tied up, have an accident or suggest diapers before a long scene.

Nice tips! Thanks!

[AutieAB]

I think if your partner is sharing his/er kinks then it is fair game to speak about yours. If someone is sharing their sexual fantasies then they are acknoweldging and accepting vulnerability and if you share yours in the same light it may strengthen your relationship.

I agree. More to the point, if I were the person who disclosed their dark, kinky secret and I later found out that my partner hadn't then trusted me to reveal theirs, I think I'd be quite offended... It's not really fair (for either of you) to keep it under wraps at this point.

The OP is written in the hypothetical though. Are we talking about a real situation here or an imagined one?

[attends_99]

if your SO is into bdsm, and you listen to him when he came out about it. he should be more than willing to hear your story also. good luck and hope it works out for you.

+1

If you were receptive and accepting of him, one would hope he would have the decency to return the favor.