Mantra

This is super difficult. I think it's pretty much impossible to share this type of secret and have it be a positive thing, unless your partner is into a similarly kinky thing. So, it depends on the type of BDSM he is into. It's a spectrum. If he is into some seriously kinky shit, and you indulge him a bit, I highly doubt it would much of a problem to introduce your own fetish to him. If he is just into some light spanking with handcuffs (this can hardly be considered BDSM it's so vanilla) then it's unlikely he will react positively. So it depends. You can also talk about ABDL as it sits within the BDSM spectrum. Relate it to being submissive and losing control, and he may understand where you are coming from. But, if you both end up being bottoms (if he likes to take the submissive BDSM role, just like you do in the ABDL sense) you may have a trickier dynamic.

I think what the previous poster was trying to suggest is that if going your entire marriage without ever having your wife participate in your fetish is going to be a problem for you, you should have discussed it prior to marriage. Obviously, you did the sane thing and prioritized your love of this woman over your kinky fantasy. This also means that you have acknowledged that it is quite likely you will never have a chance to act out those fantasies. Unless your wife has some kinky tendencies in bed of her own, I wouldn't be too hopeful about getting her involved in yours.

Just as adult baby and diaper play has nothing to do with actual children, rape play has nothing to do with actual rape. It's consenting adults in both cases.

Davis here.

Im in Sacramento. Maybe interested. Not so sure how I feel about meetups in general..

Davis. Often in Sacramento, as well. Dunno how I feel about meeting up with anyone, although I am willing to at least see who is out there and see (maybe?)

Atheist. Although I practice Buddhist meditation and ethics. Can't quite accept the reincarnation thing.

I totally agree that this is not necessarily a problem that needs to be fixed. There are cases where this lifestyle and behaviors become a problem, and in these cases things should be dealt with. People can be unhealthily addicted to many things. I also resonate with the feeling that this part of me may be getting in the way of more constructive aspects of myself. With the time, money, and energy I spend playing with diapers I could be doing a lot of interesting and personally rewarding things. For example, television isn't seen as a problem for most people, although many are addicted unhealthily, even though these same individuals may benefit from spending their time reading a book, or going outside instead. I think it is important to keep in mind that just because a behavior isn't being abused, or harming anyone, doesn't mean that there aren't even better uses for your time and energy - things that would lead to deep personal growth. You can imagine the amount of help you could be doing others if you donated your diaper money to worthy charities instead of indulging. It would be like trying to cut back, or quit, other non-harmful habits like caffeine or television. I am not trying to get all holier-than-thou, I just wanted to point out that there are motives to quit that aren't just wanting to "deny who you are". Instead, the process of giving up unhealthy behaviors for more healthy behaviors can be deeply rewarding. I recently stopped driving to work and started biking instead - it is great for the exercise and saving money. It would be ridiculous to say that as an American you are denying who you are by not driving a car. Just because you would really like to get laid doesn't mean it is the healthiest thing to go and have risky sex with strangers. There are always better things to do with your time. Moderation is key. It is truly up to the individual to see if any behavior is getting in the way of personal growth. Unhealthy can mean different things for different people. Some people may consider television or coffee to be a bad habit worthy of attention. If someone feels like they would be better off without these behaviors - so be it. Obviously I am torn about diapers in my own life. I just now bought diapers for the first time in four years. I've always tried to keep the mindset that this is one part of my multifaceted life. Discuss.

I'm in Davis/Sacramento area.

I took a year of modern Hebrew last year. Although most of it is slipping away, I still have a working knowledge of the grammar and vocab. Biblical Hebrew includes alot of words with aramaic roots that aren't used in the modern Hebrew, so I can flip open a biblical text and only read about 30% of the text. But im also only a newcomer to the language.

As in any relationship, things need to be reciprocal. Make sure he gets some benefit out of treating you like a baby/diapering you, etc. For the first time you do it, you could make it very sexual, incorporating diapering into regular sex, or similar activities. Such as lots of sexual wiping/cleaning prior to diapering, or even sex prior to diapering (use your imagination). I doubt he'll complain about diapering you when its a very steamy moment between you too and it'd be a great way to begin. Just make sure the diapers dont kill *it* for him. So thats where female expertise comes in. Make him want to diaper you and change you; care for you. If he sees how horny it makes you (im just guessing here) im sure he'll get the idea. Next time around he won't feel as wierd about it. Just remember to never make things one sided. If he diapers you, and gives you all his attention, do the same for him sometime. Give him a back massage, dinner, model your sexy panties or whatever. Cheers

There are many ways to look at Religion. If your skeptical, fine, I am too, but that doesn't justify blowing off religion because "its a load of crap". Just gotta look at things a different way. Instead, try to see religion in terms of its works and benefits to society and individuals. Does Christianity make people and society better? Does practicing Christianity have such effects? What about Buddhism? Islam? There are many different approaches you can take to the objective study of religion. Look at it from an evolutionary point of view: those individuals who worked together had better chances at surviving, namely that a religious system fosters community development. Sacrificial holidays fostered community growth and the effervescence of a group of people, got people together to share a meal and strengthen social bonds. You dont have to totally blow off religion, just choose a way to look at it that fits in with your beliefs about the world. Religion cant simply be blown off, because it is such a powerful thing in so many peoples lives, so powerful that some are willing to die for said believes. Nothing that powerful should be blown off. Secondly, even scientific 'truths' are not absolute. Evolution cannot be proven to be an absolute truth. It may be supported by scientific fact, but not absolute truth. Maybe tommorow God will come down from Heaven. Maybe this is all a dream? Maybe tommorow the sun wont rise? How can you possibly know? These things are not absolute truths, just theories about the world. There is no way to solve these skeptical hypothesis, no way to prove the existence of God, no way to disprove the existence of God.

I'd say it would depend a little on what kind of Christian you consider yourself. There are so many different interpretations of the Bible and Spirituality out there. The Dogma changes. At one point it was a sin for priests to be married, but this was changed. Debate over Transubstantiation for example. The last Pope acknowledged evolution, and at one time the Church thought the Earth was the center of the solar system. The opinions of the religious bodies change over time. So many Christians have their own idea about what God exactly is that probably doesn't match their Priests view. Some people consider God to be all compassionate, or a 'loving energy' which permeates the universe. Some people consider God to be a bearded thunderer straight out of Genesis. Christians differ in their views on the Dogma, also. Christ's virgin birth is only metaphor, for example, following the trend in all mythologies; the miraculous birth of the Hero through divine insemination.(Buddha, Hercules, Leto and the Swan, etc). So first of all, sit down and really think about what you believe within your beliefs. As for the evolution debate, I think its an important idea not to confuse Science and Religion. When you start introducing science into the field of religion you will most likely encounter some schema shattering experiences. Trying to scientifically prove a virgin birth seems rather ludicrous. Same goes for searching for Christ's bones or to debunk the theory of evolution. Why bother? Religion is in a whole 'nother sphere than Science and the two have trouble mixing, without forthought and consideration, and the possibility of paradigm shift. No one can quantify or measure a religious experience, or a vision of an angel. No one can get in your head and experience the same as you do. Religion is a Subjective field, we have no way of knowing the experiences of others. Frankly, we can be entirely skeptical about everything, even science, because we have no way of truly defeating the skeptical arguments. We could wake up tommorow and gravity could be gone. Even gravity is a theory about the workings of the universe. Science falls prey to the same Subjective problems as religion. How can I know that the germs the scientist sees in the microscope are experienced the same as me, when I look into the microscope? Well, we use a scientific community. A bunch of scientists trained in the same techniques, (physics, chemisty, math, etc etc) all come to a agreed upon conclusion. Whatever these conlusions are, they still fall prey to fundamental skeptical and egocentric problems. But consider that the Religious community also has a scientific method of coming to agreed upon conclusions. We have your training (Say, Buddhist meditiation, becoming a Christian monk, etc), your experience of something religious and then the confirmation by other religious practitioners. So many mystics throughout history have stepped away from the Dogma and pursued this scientific method and most all come to the same conlcusions. Meister Eckhart the christian mystic has strikingly similar opinions as Buddhist and Sufi mystics. But anyway, back to the topic. I have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I have these sexual desires for diapers. I really think that they interfer with my personal growth and development. And even though I havent worn or bought diapers in a couple years, I still have the urge to come to sites like this, etc. I think even though its a relatively small part of my life, it still is time I could better spend doing other things that are of a benefit for me. When you consider spirituality in these terms, I think that it is not conducive to liking and wearing diapers for purposes other than if they were necessary. And although, I believe that if I were to just go cold turkey, these thoughts and desires would occupy my mind far more than they currently due, being the nature of something taboo. So, I dunno, I try to find a balance until I can give it up completely. I spend far to much time worrying about wanting to tell my girlfriend to get her interested, or something, which brings negative energy to our relationship, negative thoughts - "I want things to be different." Balance. Spirituality is about growing, and a whole lot of 'spiritual' people say you gotta give up those bad and good things(thoughts, desires, money, etc) to become spiritual and grow (Look at all your monks around the world, nearly all practice some form of asceticism). But its hard to let go, and sometimes letting go can make it even harder.