Stumbleupon Is Great......

[Backindiapers]

Now I think some folks have read this and decided to try a social experiment on this forum but anyway:

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.

17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

21. type only in lowercase.

22. dont use any punctuation either

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now."

25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

27. Ask people what gender they are.

28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

30. Sing along at the opera.

31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

[freswith]

It comes from the famous book "How To Become A Murder Victim."

[NikABDL]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Love it never seen a list like that, but i use to do number 5 as a child and got numerous spankings for it, so be warned.

[Mischa]

that's what you think

#27 can get you in trouble: such as with "Marlene", heaven forbid you ask her if she really is a girl, I've seen her string 20+ cuss words into one breath, at the top of her lungs

This old woman--at least we think she's female, I've never seen someone so androgynous--that lives over on the west side of town, and for the love of all that is good and holy, at least five people I've talked to have wished a slow and painful death upon her--she is the most loudmouthed, opinionated, and insulting person on the face of this earth. This woman is known to both the local police and sheriff's department, as well as the mental hospital. When I worked at the school district as a mail clerk, she came in demanding to speak to the superintendent about two boys who had tripped over her legs, which she is known to stretch out whilst riding the bus. It scared the receptionist nearly to tears, had I not been on 3rd floor on a mail run, I would have taken it in my hands to remove "It's Pat" from the premises calmly.

Soon after I became homeless, me and my shelter roommate were on the bus, when on comes Marlene, who looking at another person begins ranting about how homeless people cannot care for themselves and smell of urine--me and my roommate looked for all the world like college kids, since we had only been homeless two or so weeks and the shelter has a ton of amenities--its closer to a hotel almost. Me and my friend looked at each other in pure disbelief. It was around this time we were informed by a bus driver that Marlene had in fact had her emergency cell phone blocked from calling Metro because in ONE MONTH she had racked up 240+ calls to Metro, and all were logged as frivolous complaints.

Then about a month before leaving the shelter to grudgingly return to my mother's house, Marlene is on the bus again, I get on, this time using my cane, she takes one look at me--her leg is up on one of the seats RESERVED for disabled people, and says if I fall on her leg (I was swaying) I'd be hearing from her "goddmaned mouth" it took all the pain in my leg not to break that cane over her skull.

/ramt (I have got to stop posting around 530AM LOL)

#29 actually sounds like an intelligent idea if the hair dryer is big enough that it doesnt look like a gun

in accordance with prophesy

[Guest lilme]

haha, honk at strangers. I do that sometimes just cuz it amuses me. What else is funny is if you honk and wave the other way

[LuvsGurl]

Yeah, that's a really old list.

[Marcuss]

Put weird things in peoples carts at walmart when they are not looking then watch to see what they do at the checkout ... Sometimes they actually buy it.

[dogpiss]

Some that didn't make the list that I've used in the past:

-Twang rubber bands on orthodontic braces.

-If you're really good with your tongue, learn to use aforementioned rubber bands as a missile weapon!

-Saying: "Por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas." to the passengers in any vehicle in a non-Spanish speaking country. This must be done with a strong American accent. (Yes, I did work at Disney World a long time ago.)

-Use/Create meaningless euphemisms. (for example: "There's the wrong colour vinyl on the roof of THAT car, if you know what I mean!" or "The lights aren't EXACTLY ON when his submarine 'opens the hatch', if you know what I mean!")

-Cutting your voice in and out while continuing to move your lips around people who use hearing aids

-Give a person an empty gift box as a present. Tell them you're giving them the gift of disappointment.

-Whenever you go to the store, compute your tab ahead of time so you get $6.66 back in change... EXACTLY. Go to the same cashier every day.

-Call Walmart. Only say the word "buttplugs" in a quick manner. (remember in most of North America *67 disables caller ID on the other end for free!)

-Go to McDonalds. Order a cheeseburger without cheese. When they give you just a hamburger complain saying you wanted the wrapper that said cheeseburger and a hamburger not the cheeseburger!

-Go to any fast food joint (I prefered KFC/Taco Bell) and demand your order UNCOOKED.

-When around other, publicly proclaim small appliances condemned to death row for no reason.

-Start calling everyone Phil. Extend to EVERYTHING (Ben & Jerry's is now Phil & Phil's).

I stopped most if not all a long time ago, but reminds me of some puerile fun!

[Lanthey]

It comes from the famous book "How To Become A Murder Victim."

<3 It

[sarah_ab]

Put weird things in peoples carts at walmart when they are not looking then watch to see what they do at the checkout ... Sometimes they actually buy it.

hahah i used to do this wbhen shopping with my mother in law, i'd put like the gallon containers of mayonaise in her cart, or like a case of vaseline that was sitting on a stock cart.... she wouldn't notice till we were checking out! it was always funny.

[underwhere]

Most of these are harmless, but some I would not appreciate.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Uh, no. This is plain rude and disrespectful, and can not be qualified as being harmless fun.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Done this before, and had it done to me before. Generally harmless fun, but DO NOT do this in any place which could have medical consequences, such as at a pharmacy counter where somebody is counting pills.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

Hmmm, don't really have a choice here. I can't tell who is a stranger and who is not, cause everybody is a stranger to me.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

When it became a crime to be homeless and a crime to loiter, I think this also became a crime. At any event, they can kick you out. A restaurant is not public property. It is private property.

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

I imagine you might actually get in some legal trouble for this. Might not be a good idea.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Again, you could probably get in trouble for this, particularly if you aim your "weapon" at a cop car. Probably not a smart thing to do in any event.

[Letluvsrool]

It comes from the famous book "How To Become A Murder Victim."

Easily the funniest thing in this thread.

[timmyc]

Go to a dollar store, and ask the price of at least 12 different items

[Marcuss]

Ok not the right place for this.. but funny...

When buying toilet paper at the checkout say "your a professional, does this look like enough toilet paper for this much food?"

[pampers212]

Not necessarily to tick people off but to gross them out,

Go to your local pharmacy/grocery store and buy only the following items, all at once:

Latex or vinyl gloves

Any type of lube or petrolium jelly, the bigger quantity the better

extra large condoms

plastic sandwich bags

gold bond medicated powder

a turkey baster

and if you feel especially bold, pick up adult diapers as well.

[sarah_ab]

Not necessarily to tick people off but to gross them out,

Go to your local pharmacy/grocery store and buy only the following items, all at once:

Latex or vinyl gloves

Any type of lube or petrolium jelly, the bigger quantity the better

extra large condoms

plastic sandwich bags

gold bond medicated powder

a turkey baster

and if you feel especially bold, pick up adult diapers as well.

wait that is my usual shopping trip! whats wrong with that!!!! lol

[insanewiener]

Dribble orange juice to the changing rooms or bathroom

When in a changing room ask your neighbor for toilet paper or yell "where is the toilet paper, I'm out of it"

[moi]

At a high school near where I grew up, a group of students went out just after dark, in the school parking lot, with some light blue spray paint and stencils... and made every spot in the lot a "handicapped space". On parents' night!

[insanewiener]

Ask the pizza place to ensure your pizza is indeed dead

[Rani]

I wish I'd known about the last one years ago, it would have made a lot of meetings a whole lot more interesting!

[rusty pins]

Ask if you can "borrow" a kleenex from someone and then give it back after you've used it!

[aleyxsis]

go thru a dive thru and keep short changing them 1 penny at a time