Feeling Conflicted

[ForbiddenFruit]

Well, earlier today my mother asked me if anything was going on this weekend, so I just put up a status update on Facebook to ask, and it turned out a few people from my class were going out tonight. However, next week it's the 18th birthday of the girl I'm taking to the debs (essentially the 'prom') so I told my mother I had to save my money to go to that.

Truth is...I just DIDN'T want to go out tonight. Generally I like going out (because I do have fun once I get going and have a few beers in me (I feel a lot more confident and closer to a normal guy) but tonight I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to stay in, play some video games, write a little - but one thing by the front of my mind was this - lying in bed wearing my homemade 'substitute' diaper fashioned from a cotton shirt. Yes, it does feel nice but while half of me wants to relax and just enjoy it and look forward to trying a bath towel tomorrow, the other wants to stop altogether and nip this in the bud, as I fear this may be one of the reasons I didn't want to go out tonight and what if this has a bad effect on my future relationships, especially during college?

Y'see, I'm generally not 'normal'. I'm shy, don't 'do' sport, and a lot of my hobbies fit the 'geek' template to a T - reading, writing, video games, anime, making videos...and to add that I'm just really now accepting I'm a DL atop that (on the flip side at least there was no denial)...well...can you really blame me for thinking myself a bit of a freak?

I don't know. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. Maybe it's my exams ahead. Maybe I just need to sit down and have a think. Is it 'normal' to have extra social doubts when first embracing the fact you're an AB or DL?

[Little-Daddy-Toa]

I did but then again i was a freak to begin with. I have no real life social life and i am a nerd and such too i mean come on how many kids in high school get finish a 500 page book during classes.

No one in the world is normal it's what makes us....well us.

[beallucanb]

Hey guy everyone has fetishes, some like other things, like rubber, bdsm etc. you just happen to like diapers right now.

At your age, anything to do with that certain region of the body we all know well, excites us, there is nothing wrong with you.

Later on you will find your place in life, and what you want to do with your life, but for now enjoy yourself, don't beat yourself up over a little one guy fun.

[Bettypooh]

Maybe you should stop worrying Everyone needs a break from the routine occasionally and that might be all this is Just do what you must, then do what you wish, and enjoy yourself doing it all- life is a lot more fun that way It's not unusual to be introspective with something new like this; just don't over-do it

Bettypooh

[Scott13]

I was the same way in high school. Granted, I haven't told anyone yet because I haven't felt the need to. However, once you start college, everything (socially) starts to lighten up for most people. You begin to find more people that share your hobbies and the like. My advice would be to join a club once you start college. Even better if it's nothing to do with your major. For example, I'm majoring in biology, yet I joined a Japanese club and I've loved it ever since. High school can make a lot of people feel shitty because the majority of high school students are just flat out dicks. Just don't take it too hard, everyone needs to relax sometime.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I wouldn't worry too much there kiddo, everyone needs a break from their regular routine on occassion.

[Guest Baby Elaine]

Dear, everyone has fetishes, and everyone has time they take to explore their sexual life. Everyone has felt your way in their life, even if they weren't exploing a AB or DL lifestyle, someone could very well feel the same way about a foot fetish, or a food fetish. This is normal, and what you feel is OK. But don't let this take over your life, this is one single aspect of something much, much greater. Don't worry about it, and when you get to collage, just be weary, you might find it easier to explore your sex life, or you might need to put it on the back burner. Either way, this is a small portion of your life. You'll make it through all this, I promise.

~Mommy Elaine