Scared Shitless...

[Babyrob]

Quick rundown: I'm a college aged kid in the Southeastern United States going to school and sharing an apartment with three other dudes.

I have recently rediscovered this site and have come to grips with my desires toward diapers and the AB/DL lifestyle and the urges that go with it. Having said that, I've been deathly afraid of anyone else finding out about me being AB/DL. Today I ordered a pack of Abena Abri-Forms that will be shipped to my apartment, but my roommates will still be here I've ordered, worn, and used diapers before when there was no one else in my house/apartment, but never with other company present. I'm only going to use my diapers for pee while they're here, and my bedroom door has a lock on it. They rarely invade my private space.

What's the point? Why am I saying this? Here's why. I need your opinion on my back story just in case they find out.

If they find me wearing a diaper at night, I'll whip out this story:

I tend to go out quite a bit, seeing as I'm in college. When I go out, I usually end up drinking a lot. Over the past couple of weeks, there have been many instances where I've pissed myself in the bed. I haven't told you guys (my roommates) this for obvious reasons. So, whenever I'm drinking and I know I'm gonna fall asleep, I put on a diaper to stop me from spoiling the mattress.

Do you think this will fly? Opinions and past experiences are appreciated!

Thanks for taking time out of your day to read about my petty problems.

[BBB]

Uhm. Why do you have to tell them anything?

You just say "mind your own business, its personal".

They're house mates, not parents... You owe them nothing.

[AlliR]

Hi Rob,

Although you are not obligated to tell your roomates anything, if the situation was mine, I would try out some sort of story only because silence would most likely lead to their own obvious conclusions. Please don't take this wrong but young people (in general) haven't as yet learned enough compassion for others especially if they can make fun of certain things. My fear is that you might become a victim of that.

Here's one suggestion: How about explaining that you have a bladder infection and the doctor prescribed them until you are over it. Try and prepare some phony pills (like vitamin C) in a prescription bottle that has some official label on it so it looks ligit. Can't promise that it will fly but I'd rather take my chances with that then saying nothing.

Alli

[heartwood]

Become good at keeping secret. Keep doors locked, diapers sotored in a locked and secure receptacle. Get a po box so your room mates will not see all these "large boxes" coming through the post. If they find out, sit them down tell them the truth eye to eye. Most people but not all, are understand and will be respectful of your secret. A few people but not most lack the understanding and will see your secret as a advantage to case you pain. I could type all day on this subject but time is up. Good luck with your adventures.

[diaperpt]

regardless of your 'rights' and what they can or can't do - should or shouldn't - I suspect that if you get caught (and it seems pretty likely given the close living conditions) you're probably going to get a lot of guffaws, negative talk and feedback, rumors (and truth) spread and in general not such good stuff.

Your story might fly if it involves true incontinence - a true medical condition might elicit some real sympathy but you might well become 'another' rather than 'one of us'.

On the other hand, I'm an old fart and my perspective is based less on present day young people than other comments might.

Still, watch out for those here who insist you have 'rights' and 'they' can't do anything about it. That's just flat naive. We all know (or should know) that anyone can sue anyone else over anything, justified or not. Who's to say they won't invade your privacy (even though they shouldn't and you could complain after the fact)? Who's to say that if they find out they won't blab it all over campus and maybe even to your close friends and family? Sure they shouldn't do that - so what are you going to do???... sue them?

I do sympathize with you, but you're in a difficult and vulnerable spot. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Marcuss]

your story is too detailed to be believed by me anyway... Too much info. In fact if that were the case why buy so many diapers and online. One pack would do just fine. I would keep the story but dont elaborate that much just say i drink too much sometimes. But like others have said they might accept that the drinking is why you bought them but the teasing and jokes will not stop...Hopefully they are real friends and dont spread it around. .. The best lies are short sweet simple and boring. You could also tell them your stressed out about school and the doc gave you sleeping pills and when you take them you dont wake up. That would provide more of a need for a diaper every nite. And you can say it sucks and you dont want to talk about it. Being its not just related to partying they are more likely not to teas you so much about it. But if its just because you drink ... your asking for it. just my opinion.

[~Skitty~]

your going about it all wrong.

you went out, banged a chick, got a UTI. doc said it got really bad because you neglected it, slight urinary inco until the uti goes away, just wanna be careful so you dont get pee on stuff in the apartment.

[timmyc]

do your roommates have a history of coming in and inspecting your underwear at night? Would diapers at night be any different? Do they open your mail, Or root through your private possessions?

[tris]

If you're going to school in Georgia, this could go either way. (if you're a VSU student, PM me, I may be able to help you.) If you're black, there's no way this is going to go well, no matter what you say or do.

Simple answer: Don't get caught.

I would evaluate your roomies and what kind of friends they are to you. Some guy friends are the softy compassionate, caring types who would cut class to take care of you when you're sick; Some guy friends are macho binge drinkers who wear Carhartts and rape women. You gotta call 'em like you see 'em. You should also take into account your own image and what your friends think you're all about and what you represent in their eyes. If you've laid the groundwork for being the athletic, straight-laced, all-american dude; you're fighting an uphill battle from the start -- It's too much of a stretch to go from that status to Diaper-Wearer Status. If you're considered kinda quiet, and are the deep-thoughts intellectual one of the group, it's not as much of a shock, by comparison.

'Coming out' isn't for everyone, and isn't right for every situation. But if you're close enough with even one or two of these guys -- close enough that you've had both drunk and sober heart-to-hearts that ended in a hug, or something, you might be able to let 'em on your little secret. It's good to have some people in your corner.

At about your age, I started 'coming out' to my close friends that I partied with. All of them were understanding and accepting. --It's pretty easy to accept anything after a few beers and a 'real talk' chain-smoking session. Only one of my friends is a real DB and had a falling-out with the other two, who I sided with on that beef. To my knowledge, he didn't out me to all of our party-crew; and we lived in a pretty small town. But you must remember that some people can be pretty vindictive, especially when they know just how sensitive the information that they hold, is. So choose your confidants wisely!

I would just play this straight and don't prepare or tell any lies. If you or your stash is somehow discovered, don't panic. Be cool and tell the truth. Besides, if you're willing to run with it, it's a great way to gain a little celeb status, even if it's slightly negative. And you're in college -- pretty much anything goes. Be free, and do you!

[ldatsea]

If you're black, there's no way this is going to go well, no matter what you say or do.

Simple answer: Don't get caught.

WTF does being black have any reason to be mentioned???????

to the op.

my diapers where found by my room-mates long ago... the answer is is keep your response simple and with out emotion.... "I have a small problem that the diapers help with" .. you DONT need to come up with a big excuse or story....(they dont care) and if you give them no reason to make it an issue (like getting upset or emotional) than they will drop it and forget all about it...

bullies pick on people that give the response the bully is looking for.... dont give them the ammo.

if you do have a bully roomate... make up your own diaper jokes that defuse his.....( i never needed to use this tactic)

[BBB]

my diapers where found by my room-mates long ago... the answer is is keep your response simple and with out emotion.... "I have a small problem that the diapers help with" .. you DONT need to come up with a big excuse or story....(they dont care) and if you give them no reason to make it an issue (like getting upset or emotional) than they will drop it and forget all about it...

you said what I said.... only better.

[beachxbunni123]

As a girl, I think that is a bad excuse. I'd say just have self-control and don't wear diapers if you have roommates. Save it for your relationship or when you're by yourself without roommates. Personally, that would be too awkward and I would not take the risk.

[nappybaby16]

A slight advantage going to university in the UK: pretty much no where has shared rooms or dorms, everyone usually gets their own room, so you can do what you like in complete privacy all the time. Its great for me as I can order nappies etc without fear of my parents finding them for the first time

[Babyrob]

Thanks everyone for the advice. Tris, that advice was straight hood and I appreciate that. By the way, I'm not black or in Georgia. According to FedEx, I get my package on Friday. Will let you know how everything goes.

[tris]

@ldatsea: Yup, I'm an ignorant racist bastard. I've got The Jesus and Obama on a conference call right now and they want your address so they can send you a medal for pointing that out.

There's no way I've seen firsthand how being Southern Black and LGBT and/or sexually deviant can be a very hard road to go down. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's only one of the most commonly faced situations in their culture and it's widely accepted and embraced. Where's the "I'm sarcastic and you're a dumbass" emoticon when I need it? Ttthhhhhbbbbbbbbtt!

Babyrob, glad I could edu-tain you. Gangstas recognize gangstas, ya know? I've been around awhile and know what's up with that part of the country, thanks to having spent some time in Florida and South Georgia. It can be rough down there!

If you take away anything from what I've got to say, it's that you should do everything in your power to not get caught. Don't put yourself in the situation where you'll have to make up some kind of lame-ass story -- no one's gonna believe it anyway. And even if they did, it wouldn't be for very long. You've gotta be a diaper ninja! Good luck, kiddo!

[Little Faerie]

Tris is dead right, including about being black in most cases... it is a cultural thing. I am referring to being American and black in this case, and I'm sure that's what tris meant. There are exceptions, like my friend Julie, but usually, that would NOT fly. You'd be ridiculed to no end, because they'd say you're "not a man" for that or in a woman's case you'd just be called a freak and have a lot of social ostracization. It's macho bullshit but it's still true. Other types of people would ostracize you as well, but I am just explaining the validity of tris' mentioning that racial group. It's not a racist statement, it is something based on observation of cultural behaviours. They could be purple or green or white or rainbow, but if their culture as a whole tends to behave in a certain way, then it is safe to assume that 90% of them will. There are some stereotypical things that the PC people insist are racist, but I'll be damned if they aren't true, and sometimes funny. Even black comedians will poke fun at themselves and tell you about how they love fried chicken and watermelon (hey who doesn't lol). My friend Julie, who is mixed Black and Lakota Sioux, frequently jokes about how her family is so stereotypical and how at picnics it isn't Sunday without the grape drink and fried chicken at the barbecue, and how her sisters fight sometimes and leave bits of weave on the lawn. These things become stereotype because they are prevalent in a culture. I'm not saying that all the labels given fit all or even most of the individuals identifying with the group, but some do, and my point about this is that the male machismo thing is one of them in this case. There is a pressing desire for young men, young black men especially to be seen as tough and manly and normal, not freaky. Let's face it, a lot of people think we're freaky, or that adults wearing diapers is freaky unless they're above 80. So there's my two cents.

More on topic, I agree with tris mostly. I would maybe fib and say you're dealing with some night issues from sleep medicine or that you still wet the bed if they seem like the type who would be total jerks about it. If it sounds like medical reason they shouldn't razz you so much. Don't lie if you don't have to... or just refuse to talk about it. If they find out and its an issue act embarrassed that you "have" to wear them and make them drop it. It's not their business what underwear you wear anyway. I wouldn't just come out, keep it to yourself unless they find out. If they are nice to you when/if they find out, just give the truth and don't discuss it anymore afterward. Act like it's no big deal and they probably won't either.

[sarah_ab]

they won't buy that story.... seriouisly... what guy gets so drunk that he pisses the bed, often enough that he needs to buy diapers.. and then goes out and buys the diapers????

sides they will STILL ridicule you and make jibes at you and sarcastic comments.... especially if you give them that story

better idea.. just dont get caught.

[DiaperBoyKR]

I live with my brother and a friend of ours from several years ago. Recently stress at work retriggered some of my nighttime issues, so I had to buy diapers anyway for that. I decided to go full time, and I have basically 0 privacy. I gave them a minimalist story, and now its basically accepted. I still get razzed about it, but they don't seem to care.

I would only recommend telling your roomies up front if you know them pretty well. At the least you'd be in for some awkward moments, and some teasing (nature of the beast with 20-something guys). With Abri-forms, unless you got the air-plus versions, be aware that they make a fair amount of noise under "soft" clothes (like pjs) so unless you're really discreet, it will likely be noticed.

If you feel the need to have a story prepared follow the KISS principle......Keep It Simple, Stupid. The more complex a story is, the more difficulty in believing it. "I have occaisional issues with bedwetting when I'm tired/stressed/drunk" is a good example.....makes sure you look embarrased when you say it. Excessive belligerence leads to the "me doth think he protesteth too much" reaction from listeners.

[Bettypooh]

Were it me, I'd be as stealth as I could If the issue ever came up the simple truth would do for me (and it makes for a good lie too ) :

"I've always had problems with this, not all the time but a lot. The doctors can't find the cause and nothing seems to help. Wanna trade lives for awhile?" And if someone wanted to dig deeper I'd say "Look, this is kind of personal and I really don't care to discuss it with you."

Now if many years of friendship proved they were truly tolerant of odd diversity, and oneday they wanted to discuss it further, I would go so far as to admit that I enjoyed the security of wearing and that even on days when I thought I could do without I still wore them because it felt too odd to go without anymore Only those who are intimately a part of your daily life have any real need to know, and that is where this kind of knowledge needs to be contained at There's no need for the whole world to know what kind of underwear anyone is wearing

As you get older, almost everyone finds that their list of 'real friends' who you can really trust gets smaller Not because of attrition, but because time teaches you that 'real friends' are rare and immensely valuable Just because someone is close doesn't make them a friend who can be trusted to keep their mouth shut Telling only those who need to know is always the best criteria to select for sensitive information of any kind and your roomies really don't need to know.

Bettypooh