Regression

[hkc123]

I need some more advice please. I need more ways to help make my guy regress to the baby he truly is. Here are some ways I have so far, but any extras would be helpful.

Adult to little kid

1) Don't let him do anything for himself as soon as he walks in

2) Illusion of being small

3) If he's sleeping then

• he would wake up to me diapering him

• I'll place a stuffed animal in his arms

• when he yawns I'll carefully place a pacifier in his mouth

4) Force him to pee his pants

• lock him in a room til he pees his pants or lock myself in the bathroom til he pees his pants

• stick his hand in a bowl of water while sleeping (does this really work?)

5) Put on a movie from his childhood or kid's movie he might enjoy

6) Talk about things that are grownupish but will get him thinking little (for him this is baseball cards and trains)

7) Massages - sneak in baby lotion

8) If hes looking at a catalog give him a crayon and tell him to circle what he likes.

I realize it seems like a pretty thorough list but I need some more original ideas.

Also, any other ideas for play time when he's a little boy or baby that are not the most basic.

Thanks for the help!

[curiositykilledthecat]

actually a few of those I didn't even think of, good job.

[LILJIM]

1 he change into t-shirt & shorts as soon as he comes in (what's under the shorts is up to you) 2 The warm water trick does work; if he has drank some before bed 3 Don't forget nap time

[Jen Harris]

None of these are really positive things. Well #1 is a big step in the right direction but you should expand on that.

It's not so much that you don't let him do anything for himself, but you do all the things for him that a normal adult would do like:

1)Dress him, (also, duh, diaper him, change him). I mean, duh, he should be in diapers as soon as he's through the door. But also, pick out his clothes for him before he goes to bed. Physically put things on him in the morning.

2)If you want to go really crazy give him a bath including a nice shampoo (one of my earliest memories was that "no more tears" wasn't nearly as pleasant as it should be).

3)Feed him (like hold his spoon/fork, put it in his mouth)

4)Check his diaper often, insist on changing it when it is wet, but don't let him decide when it is changing time. Make sure changing time is a big formal occasion with powdering, fondling, checking... not just a quick thing.

5)Decide everything - what to eat, when to eat (don't let him snack, but reward him with candy!) what to watch, when you will go out, etc. Little kids don't decide anything.

A big aspect of course is really verbal, you should talk to him like he's a kid as well.

1) If he does something wrong treat it as cute like you would a little kid, or threaten to spank him

2) Talk in a cute voice, make sure to tell him he's such a cute little [whatever], no matter what he is doing.

A couple other ideas:

1) If he gets a small cut or scrape make sure to tell him it's okay and it's okay if he cries, make sure to clean and bandage it for him even if he insists it's little

2) Spank him, definitely. Especially if he does things that are adult and not for kids, like cursing. (Though be nice if he is sexual, he is your guy!). No need to be painful, just make sure he gets that feeling of being over your knee.

3) Cuddle him to your chest and tell him you love him; hold him like you would a baby. Stroke him, pet him, while telling him he's adorable. Adults do that too but the comfort is still important.

4) If he does cry for any reason make sure to console him and tell him mommy loves him.

Overall if you do something like make him watch kids shows or sit in a playpen for hours, he's just going to get bored and annoyed, and not really feel like a baby. But if you want to really regress him make him feel warm and protected, and then he will enjoy it and not resist so much the fact that he is powerless.

[toon]

some things you could get him that would help him pass the time.

1. coloring book and crayons

2. g.i. joes

3. legos

4. matchbox cars

5. read to him

[DailyDi]

Unless I am reading it wrong, I think she's looking for more subtle ways to regress him, not obvious "I'm regressing you!" baby play.

[curiositykilledthecat]

It's really all about creating an atmosphere that is disarming to him and then slowly make suggestions and lead him into it.

[hkc123]

Unless I am reading it wrong, I think she's looking for more subtle ways to regress him, not obvious "I'm regressing you!" baby play.

Eaxctly. I know a lot of the real baby ways to do the trick, but i'm looking for more subtle so when he's not in the mindset yet I can ease him into it. He values things being real. So pushing him in a room and saying its time for a diaper change without anything leading up to it seems extremely fake.

Thanks!

[enfant]

What a wonderful thread, I love several of the suggestions I've seen, especially the ones from the original poster and from Jen Harris.

A few more things that I've found are helpful in getting me into a babyish headspace.

• Tie his shoes for him.

• When you take him out places, you drive, and make him ride in the back seat.

• Give him things to do (ideally age-appropriate things like coloring or play-doh, but really it could be anything), but forbid him to use his dominant hand. For example, have him color or draw pictures with a crayon gripped in his left fist (or his right fist if he's left-handed). Make him move his whole arm when he draws, not just his hand. The less fine-motor dexterity he has access to, the more incompetent and helpless it will make him feel.

• Make him call you Mommy, or Mama, or Nanny, or whatever you like, but not your name--gently correct him when he forgets. For example, if you ask him a question and he just says yes, you can say, "Yes what?" and keep repeating the question until he answers correctly. (It can be fun to do this in public, or when you're talking to him on the phone and he might be overheard.)

• Don't show respect for his physical autonomy. His "private parts" belong to Mommy. Whenever you want to, you can slip a finger down his waistband or feel the outside of his pants to find out if he's wet or messy. If he tries to say no, just laugh at him for being silly and do it anyway. He's a baby; his opinion doesn't count.

• In the same vein, don't ask him a lot of questions about what he wants or what he'd like during baby time. In particular, don't ask him whether he wants baby time; treat it as an irrevocable fact that he's getting it, like it or not. You can offer him simple choices, though: Do you want to suck your thumb or a pacifier right now? (Either way, he's sucking something--he doesn't get a choice about that.) Do you want your bear or your bunny? (Either way he's holding a stuffed animal.) Do you want me to change your diaper now and then finish your bottle, or finish your bottle first and then get a diaper change? (Either way he's doing both.)

• Just tell him how to feel. People can be very suggestible; it's surprising how well they respond when things are couched in terms of inevitability. "When I kiss you on the forehead, it's going to make you feel even smaller, even more babyish." As he begins to respond to these kinds of suggestions, you can gradually switch them into the present tense: "As I'm stroking your hair, you're feeling more and more relaxed, and safe, and happy to be a baby for Mommy. What a good baby."

• Nonverbal cues can be good. My mommy will sometimes clap her hands when it's diaper time, for instance, and I just scoot into position and wait. Or you could click your tongue at him when you want him to open up for his pacifier or suck at your breast.

• I've never experienced this one, but I had a passing thought... Do you by any chance speak a language that he doesn't? Parents talk to their babies all the time, and the babies can't understand anything except for the loving tone of voice. I wonder if experiencing that again might be a regression trigger.

[Guest Wetnmessy247]

Subtle things that mommies do to babies all the time.

Such as:

1.) Petting/Patting/Rubbing

2.) Speaking in soft tones, and all mommy-like

Others: Buy lots of baby powder bottles and hide them arond the house opened, to litter the house with the aroma of a fresh diaper.

Buy more and more things in baby tones like pink and blue.

Buy clothes that have crinklyness to them like jackets nd stuff.

Little things like crayons/coloring book and stuffed animals.

Have the TV always on something like Nickelodeon.

his subconscious mind will eventually regress to a helpless widdle babbie.

Either that, or he will get pissed off at all the enw things ya do strange like buy pink sh&t and crayons and like leave you. Most guys hate pink. I don't. I wub all colours. My favorites are blue, green, red for christmas, and brown. I love the color brown.

[hkc123]

Thanks for the suggestions! They're great!

[Codymoogle]

Subtle things that mommies do to babies all the time.

(snip)

Either that, or he will get pissed off at all the enw things ya do strange like buy pink sh&t and crayons and like leave you. Most guys hate pink. I don't. I wub all colours. My favorites are blue, green, red for christmas, and brown. I love the color brown.

Hmm...Not flaming you, but I find the bold comment highly disturbing. Any guy or girl (especially an AB) that leaves his/her spouse (who is trying very hard to be a great Mommy or Daddy, such as hkc123 is) for a small mistake like choosing a "wrong" color is a jerk. Letting it out in a tantrum or a cry is one thing...But leaving? Am I the only one that thinks that's just wrong?

As far as suggestions, hkc123, I think enfant's list is particularly good. However, he's your baby, so he's the one you should be asking. I know it sounds contradictory since babies don't really have a say in what happens with them, but what he responds to and likes may be greatly different than what I like for example. Talk to him about his feelings, his "base"...Get his input, you know? On the other side of the coin, I'd also suggest not letting him "run the show", because that's not what babies do. Establish his "safe grounds" and explore them together. Babies (even AB's) are always learning, and a great adventure is always fun. Parents are always learning too, and I think raising an AB can be just as rewarding as raising a chronological child.

Perhaps I wasn't so helpful with the suggestions, but I do hope I've helped. *hugs if you'd like them*

~ moogle

[hkc123]

(snip)

However, he's your baby, so he's the one you should be asking.

(snip)

Perhaps I wasn't so helpful with the suggestions, but I do hope I've helped.

The list I originally posted was one that my baby and I more or less came up with together. I was just hoping for some original ideas so I could also surprise him.

Actually you were very kind and helpful. And you have been with all of my other topics, so thank you!

[hkc123]

I just want to make things as real as possible for him. So although many of these ideas are great they are not in the making things real category. Not letting him use his right hand makes it seem fake. Definitely useful at some point but not for this purpose. Any others?

Thanks again!

[DailyDi]

If you cook, cut his portion into bite sized pieces before you serve it, and give him the smaller (salad) fork to eat with.

[AutieAB]

If you cook, cut his portion into bite sized pieces before you serve it, and give him the smaller (salad) fork to eat with.

Don't forget a plastic plate (one of those cheap, primary coloured picnicware plates would be perfect)... Big boys don't get breakable ceramic plates

Goes without saying but make the food and drink part of the experience too. Chicken nuggets, hot dog sausages, baby carrots, things like that. Squirt ketchup over the food rather than in a blob on the side. Milk, apple juice, etc, to drink.

[Codymoogle]

Don't forget a plastic plate (one of those cheap, primary coloured picnicware plates would be perfect)... Big boys don't get breakable ceramic plates

Goes without saying but make the food and drink part of the experience too. Chicken nuggets, hot dog sausages, baby carrots, things like that. Squirt ketchup over the food rather than in a blob on the side. Milk, apple juice, etc, to drink.

I need to respectfully disagree

Bold part #1 - Big kids get big kid plates, but her baby is a baby. (Typo FTW?)

Bold part #2 - I dunno about you or the OP's baby, but I'm a baby that likes to dip, dunk, and smear my food!

~ moogle

[AutieAB]

I need to respectfully disagree

Dunno? Maybe I was projecting my own desires onto the post but my reading of the OP was about 18mo to 2yrs or so? (item 4 in particular makes me think young toddler)

I think point 1 still stands whatever the age, though serve/feed on a plastic plate ceramic is waaaaay too grown up

[enfant]

I just want to make things as real as possible for him. So although many of these ideas are great they are not in the making things real category. Not letting him use his right hand makes it seem fake. Definitely useful at some point but not for this purpose.

Just for clarity, which of the suggestions above do you consider to be in the "making things real category"? I'll be happy to try to think of more things if I know what you're looking for.

But really, I can say from experience, when I'm trying to draw a picture and it comes out all scribbly and wrong because I'm using the wrong hand, it does feel real to me--it brings back the feelings of frustration I remember as a small child, when I could never color in the lines properly no matter how hard I tried. The thing about making it seem real is that the emphasis has to be on "seem", because we can't actually be physically little. So these kinds of jedi mind tricks are helpful.

There are other tricks I sometimes use to make it feel real to myself: opening my eyes very wide, or talking in a babyish way, or walking with my toes pointed slightly together. But these aren't things you can do to him, they're things he has to do himself. (Though, of course, you could tell him to do them, and remind him when he forgets. A nonverbal cue might be good for that--you could touch him on the nose if you see him start to act too grown-up, for instance, with a tsk-tsk and "naughty baby", and eventually just the touch on the nose will be enough.)

Oh! I can't believe I forgot this one. A few times my mommy has put a clip on my tongue to force babytalk. It's a vinyl coated wire clip made for holding bags closed in the kitchen -- like these -- and the jaws are bent outward so that it doesn't clip together tightly enough to hurt, but tightly enough to stay on the tongue. With it on, there's no way you can talk clearly--"ebbyting cometh out thounding wike dith". It may not "feel real" but it's a threat you can use--"Tsk! Talk the way Mommy wants you to, baby, or we'll get out the clip". I find babytalk very embarrassing, and the embarrassment itself pushes me into a regressive headspace.

Finally, I love your idea of putting his hand in warm water while he sleeps--please do try that and let us know what happened! I've been wishing for years my mommy would try that on me so I can find out if it works on me. I've also heard you can trigger some people to wet the bed by slowly pouring water from one glass to another near their ear. (My impression is that these things probably only work on people whose nighttime bladder control is a little weak to begin with, though.)

(Of course, if it doesn't work, you can still arrange for him to wake up in a puddle. Wait for him to be really deeply asleep, then use a turkey baster full of warm water... or even your own pee, if you like. Then never let him find out it was you! )

[Honu]

HKC123,

Thank you for asking an interesting question. You've gotten lot's of good detailed advice from others and all I want to add to that is the suggestion to use positive reinforcement to "train" him to regress. The basic positive reinforcement was mentioned above: speak to him in "mommy tones" and verbally praise him for anything he does that supports the goal of regressing him. Food and drink treats also work to help reinforce positive behavior. The drinks especially can help him repeat desired behavior more quickly. Finally, since this is an adult site, sex is always a reward. When and how to use that one when reinforcing regression is a tricky one, but I'm guessing you are creative.

Good luck and please let us all know how it goes with you two.

Aloha,

Honu

[PArms]

Not letting him use his right hand makes it seem fake.

Ooh! Ooh! *Raises right hand* Oops! *switches hands* I disagree.

I've done this on my own. Writing with the left hand is a definite and real physical challenge. Parents today aren't assuming all their children will be right handed. So they will let the child get comfortable with whichever side is dominant. It used to be such that ALL children were forced to be right handed. Well, you can force your baby to be opposite of whichever he is. If you force the use of the nondominant hand, you might just have an ambidextrous baby.

I even learned the alphabet backwards. Now I can sing it backwards. And I'm pretty darn good, too.

[Guest Wetnmessy247]

I too am ambedextrous: I write with both hands, use computer mouses with both hands, play guitar both left and right among everything else.

So if someone were to force regression onto me by like....ctting off my left hand which IS my dominant one, I could still masterbate with the opposite.

ALthough if I were tied down somewhere it would probably be torture and not regression, in which case I'd worry more about escaping the clutches of the torturer than finding a way to masterbate.

[hkc123]

Ok the whole writing with the other hand thing might work when he is already feeling little, but if I try to make him do it when he's still feeling like an adult he will just feel stupid. I realize this isn't the same for everyone, but my baby likes things to be real and me forcing him to use his other hand is not something a real mom would do especially not when he's still feeling grown-up.

The point of my question is how to get him feeling little and comfortable enough to do little and babyish things. He's not the kind of guy who will just walk into a room and suddenly be ready for playtime. He needs to be eased into regression and depending on his mood sometimes this is me doing one thing and sometimes its five. He needs things that are a bridge between being an adult and being little. Looking at a catalog is an acceptable adult action, but giving him a crayon to circle things brings out the little kid when he's looking. Am I making sense?

For example:

When he comes over he is often still in adult mode. I might hand him a catalog and a crayon and ask him to circle the things he'd like. I might have a movie already on in the background, something like the Sandlot which was a childhood favorite. These things will start relaxing him and getting him think like a kid, but they are still things an adult would do and he may need more help. At this point I may give him a nice back massage and mid massage I'll sneak in baby lotion. All the while talking to him about things I know he likes.

After helping him feel comfortable and making him feel little he'll be ready to start playing and I can put him in his diaper and do many of the other things that were suggested on here.

Thanks again!

[Codymoogle]

I too am ambedextrous: I write with both hands, use computer mouses with both hands, play guitar both left and right among everything else.

So if someone were to force regression onto me by like....ctting off my left hand which IS my dominant one, I could still masterbate with the opposite.

ALthough if I were tied down somewhere it would probably be torture and not regression, in which case I'd worry more about escaping the clutches of the torturer than finding a way to masterbate.

Didn't you say in one of your posts that you don't masturbate, and in another that you want to die a virgin? I'm pretty sure, though I tried looking through all 30 pages of your posts and got a headache before i could finish. Just wondering.

~ moogle

[sarah_ab]

So when he comes over

1. go up to him and give him a kiss, maybe a subtle one pat on the bum

take his hand, for just a few seconds as you lead him more inside, but then drop it... don't be too obvious

ask him what he wants to do - if its a movie, dinner, just hang out

if he wants to see a movie tell him "for some reason i've been in the mood to watch a disney flick, (say like cars, or the lion king etc...)" ask if he'd mind... this way it seems like you want to watch it, not him.

If its eat, have something 'kid friendly' prepared like mac and cheese and chicken nuggets or something like that.

make sure you make up his plate, and before handing it to him blow a little on the mac and cheese. Pour him his drink, and put a straw in it, also, only give him a spoon,

you can make little comments to him to "don't want you to burn your mouth" or "you're so cute when you are watching a movie intently" things that will slowly get his mind into the baby mode

if he just wants to hang out, bring out some paper and crayons and if he asks say you are writing a funny letter to a friend...tell him he should draw you a picture while you are writing a letter.... if he does, occasionally look over and smile, telling him you like it, or its cute etc....

as the night progresses, keep the comments about how cute he is coming, and sometimes you just want to put your arms around him and hold him tight.Maybe during the movie, do just that, and after you've been that way for a while, stroke his face, or tuck hair behind his ear and ask him if he wants a pacifier... just something small....

really its just about doing what you would normally do, and slowly and subtly saying things to him, and touching an arm, his face, his bum, to make him get more and more into the little mood...

but also, ask him... does he prefer the slow regression, or does he ever want you to just become dom mommy and the minute he walks in order him about... he may want to try both scenarios.. as might you