Will There Be Any Girls There?

[Teddy Bear Brian]

Now here is scenario for you to ponder and perhaps reply to.

Your organizing a munch, meet, party, etc.

You post and people (by people we assume males) start contacting you and asking if any girls will be there?

Does it really matter? I mean these meets are not meant to be a dating service. Sure if friendships develop and then they develop into more that is great.

But how would you respond?

Would you be worried in your response you would be making people feel like they don't want come?

Would you feel offended that your company as a male isn't good enough?

Would you be a bit worried that if girls were there then people would be really pushy and make them never want to come back?

Would you be more apt to put a person off coming just in case they're just another HNG?

Just curious as to your thoughts.

[SoCalAB]

Tell them to suit up and show up and take their chances.

This is how I met my wife.

If you schedule a gathering be sure to email me so I can post the info on my events calendar.

Stay Pampered

SoCalAB

http://socalab.250x.com

[lilannie]

Well for some of us, it's an uber sexual fetish. They don't want to go and sit for 2 hours and discuss this innately sexual thing with the sausage factory so to speak, which is why they care if there are girls there. I would tell them it's impossible to know who will show up to a munch, especially if it's advertised on the internet, so if they are interested in meeting new people it is worth taking the chance.

I don't know though, just my thoughts. I have been to plenty of munches, but I have never organized them and I'm not a dude.

[TheMagicDragon]

Hi Teddy Bear Brian!

SoCalAB and lilannie have hit it right on the mark! We want you to succeed!

Here is some information I keep posted in the New Jersey Forum, some of which I believe helps answer your questions. I wrote it but you may use it too:

What's a ‘Littles’ Munch? Glad you asked!

A Munch, as utilized in Kink circles throughout the work, is normally a well advertised, organized, ‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’ social function for Adults (Minimum 18 years of age). Typically, there are numerous munches for various kinks in most regions or states. A 'Littles Munch' (www.LittlesMunch.com) is a munch that includes everyone you might enjoy meeting. It is for Adult Diaper Lovers (diaper fetishists, those with a paraphilia for diapers, diaper curious as well) but it is not just for those who like diapers! It is also for those people who practice ‘Littles’ Age-play (diapers are optional) and those who love them (Mommy/Daddy/ SO.) “Littles

[Darkfinn]

If people are only coming b/c there will be girls involved, then they are the kind of people I generally tend to stay away from.

Now generally when I plan a munch or party I try to invite as many girls as possible. Why you ask? Simply because (generally speaking) I find AB/DL girls to be far more intelligent and mature than AB/DL guys. There are tons of girls into this kinda thing... but many of them simply don't post online b/c they are constantly hounded by asswipes who want to know what the condition of their diaper is.

[sarah_ab]

i think first to take into consideration is it might be a female asking the question, wondering if she is going to be the only female there.

the other, as was said, is that this is a very sexual thing for some people, and their idea of a munch is to meet someone to hook up with. If this is not what you want your munch to be then i would clearly state in the description you post, you have no control over how many people show up and of what gender and furthermore sexual harassment of any kind will not be tolerated. State that your munches are simply for people to meet others who enjoy the lifestyle and to be supportive of each other, and this is NOT a singles group meeting and NOT a hookup space.

Posting something of that sort will help people understand what sort of vibe you are going for. and also let females who may be interested know that they can be in a safe place because those hosting the munch will be supportive if the female is feeling threatened by another member attending.

[Yvhuce]

This is a natural question from straight guys. If you ask one of us to go to any sort of social function, there's a 99% chance we'll ask that question.

[Frink]

Yvhuce speaks the truth. Even weddings, funerals, and bar mitzvahs. I know a guy who doesn't go to family reunions unless there are chicks. I feel somehow unclean just for having made his acquaintance.

[Dubious]

so, will there be any girls there?

[trancefreek99]

I'm going to have to second what Annie said. For a large majority of us, this IS sexual. Ok, with that being said, another LARGE, HUGE majority of the community are horny, perverted, old men. I know if I was single, I would like knowing if there were members of the opposite gender, because, hey, it's a way to meet other people and possibly start relationships too. I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable being a straight male hanging out with 11 other men wearing soggy diapers and acting like babies (god that vision is horrifying and funny at the same time). I just don't think it is fair to label someone a perv because they want to know if there are girls there.

Now I have been to a few munches, probably more house parties to be exact, and every time the ratio was pretty much even for girls and guys. I don't know if that was a fluke or whatever, but that was my experience. But you really never know.

I know we will be having some gatherings and such once Annie and I (finally) move down to Panama City Beach in May. But for me, I wouldn't just post an invitation and say come one, come all. WAY too many creeps out there. It'd be invite only. So I guess I would know if there were girls there :/ I'm rambling...

[dl_ashlee]

At least for me I think I am more worried about the age group, I would be weirded out if I came and it was just a bunch of old dudes.

Of course it would be nice to not just have a sausage fest also, even if the women there are already taken, just to make it so its not all meat, lol.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Even if it is sexual, simply meeting other people who share your interest is a burden off your shoulders. I know I'm tired of the incessant whining on every abdl website from people who are lonely and then balk when a group is organized. If I were female I'd probably not come if I knew every guy was going to try to hump my leg like a horny cocker spaniel. We all need to chill and just make some connections first, as we don't know who has friends that are into the lifestyle that may be of the opposite gender. I have gone to meets with girls and I don't really flirt with them as much as just talk and let them be valued as a person. The key is to create a positive atmosphere that will foster more growth.

[diamondback6881]

If I were female I'd probably not come if I knew every guy was going to try to hump my leg like a horny cocker spaniel.

The thought of a cocker spaniel humping my fiance's leg made me LOL.

[TheMagicDragon]

I completely agree with Curi's post.

For the record, most of the time the women to men ratio at any well-attended munch seems to be as one might expect - about 40/60. One thing I must say, the women aren't as infrequent as one might think. They do come out and participate. 'Ya know it wouldn't be the same without them. Thank Heaven for (adult) "Little Girls"!

Yeah, the cocker spaniel's do that. Hope we don't run into one of those at "any" munch! Down boy, Down!

[trancefreek99]

I completely agree with Curi's post.

For the record, most of the time the women to men ratio at any well-attended munch seems to be as one might expect - about 40/60. One thing I must say, the women aren't as infrequent as one might think. They do come out and participate. 'Ya know it wouldn't be the same without them. Thank Heaven for (adult) "Little Girls"!

Yeah, the cocker spaniel's do that. Hope we don't run into one of those at "any" munch! Down boy, Down!

Honestly, as bad as the community is genderwise (aka Way more males than females) from the past munches or gatherings I had been to, the actual ratio was fairly even. And honestly, I have not yet met someone at a munch that has come off as creepy or horny/weird. Maybe I'm just lucky. I know when Annie and I have munches at our place, it will also be pretty much even. But not just that, it won't have any creepers at all. Promise that. We have a nose for those types of people, and believe me, they won't be at our munch/party/gathering/fun time.

[aleyxsis]

It is quite nice to hear that there are a quite a few girls that attend the munches .As i am asexual(no interest in sex) i have no interest in being the horny cocker spaniel {used to have one}I would just like to have an inteligent conversation and get the female perspectiive on all of this .Sorry glenndl i live way too far away or i would definately go way to keep it up !! thou good luck always

[curiositykilledthecat]

okay on a side note, my best friend growing up had a cocker spaniel and it once tried humping my arm while I was petting it. I literally had to swing my arm into a wall to get him off of me, it hurts. The male abdl community needs to not act like that. It seems with many of the younger ones there isn't an established code of conduct with them. I.e. I have to explain to some that I talk to online that if we're going to meet in a group, it's not okay to ask someone to change you unless they offer.

[Angela Bauer]

Back in the Summer of 1995, when my husband Don and I decided to organize a series of meals for the DPF AB/DL community of Southern California, frequently I would receive snail letters asking if I would attend. I always answered that my plan was to meet everyone by attending, but even on the Sundays when the meals at the Norwalk, CA Sizzler restaurant were scheduled, my law practice might require I be elsewhere. In fact starting with the first Sizzle (our term in the era before "munches" was coined) at least one other woman always participated. By the time SoCal AB started sharing organizing duties with Tony D, routinely 3 or more women were there each month. One was the Mommy of an active male AB. Another was the girlfriend of a delightful AB gal. Usually there were 20-30 men.

One mid-size AB/DL party Don and I attended in San Jose attracted 3 women besides me. That was fun because I had communicated with all of them for months. One was the wife/Mommy of a male AB. The other two women were single and attractive.

The following year Don and I traveled to Mill Valley for the birthday celebration for DPF's founder Tommy. We missed the day-adventure on Saturday. That night the main party at Tommy and Marky's home included over 40 men and about 12 women. Two were full-time DPF staff members who also drove the shuttle vans. Becky was a former staff member by then the girlfriend of an AB guy. Another was the wife of an AB from Northern California.

This question has caused me to thing about all the many AB/DL events I have attended since 1990. I do not remember any where I was the only woman.

[Diaper273]

If people are only coming b/c there will be girls involved, then they are the kind of people I generally tend to stay away from.

Now generally when I plan a munch or party I try to invite as many girls as possible. Why you ask? Simply because (generally speaking) I find AB/DL girls to be far more intelligent and mature than AB/DL guys. There are tons of girls into this kinda thing... but many of them simply don't post online b/c they are constantly hounded by asswipes who want to know what the condition of their diaper is.

I completely agree. Now, have I ever been to a meeting? No. But I browse the forums a lot and I've seen other forums, and I would say more than 50% of male AB/DLs that are online really have a real ignorance towards intelligent conversations. On the one hand I could understand why females wouldn't go to these meetings, but on the other I don't really want to go either for the same reasons. I like wetting in my diaper and all that, but I don't care if the world knows that too. If I need a change, I will change, but I don't want a thousand eyes looking at me while I do it (or 10-20 for that matter).

That and when you still live with your parents, it's a little bit more difficult to to things that you wanna do.

[mikey7]

In my opinion gender doesn't matter. I don't really go anywhere with the main intent of meeting women. In the case of a munch, just talking to like minded people is enough to make me happy. Is it basically just a bunch of people doing anything from playing pool to eating at a restaurant?

[Yvhuce]

It's not entirely about meeting women... There's just a point where too many guys in one place is too creepy for a straight guy to hang out. It varies per individual, and the nature of event. For example: with a situation like at the workplace, we generally have more of a tolerance for there being more guys than women, than we would for such things as a meeting of AB/DLs.

[Carl2229]

At least for me I think I am more worried about the age group, I would be weirded out if I came and it was just a bunch of old dudes.

Hey,Hey, Hey..... Take it easy on us old dudes.....

Actually, I can understand your position. I would probably be uncomfortable if I went to a munch and everyone else there was a twenty-something male. Variety being the spice of life, it is much easier to carry on the aforementioned intelligent conversation if: A: You have something in common (ie. age) with others in the group.

Or: B: There is enough diversity in the group to expand the possible topics of conversation.

Just like a group event in any other social environment, there is almost always common ground that can lead to an interesting and entertaining conversation, and it usually has very little to do with the common interest that pulls us together. While sharing experiences, ideas and opinions on the best diapers and supply sources can be helpful, about ten minutes is all it takes to wear out the subject. After that, other common ground becomes essential to continue the conversation. Because of the nature of our common interest, many people are reluctant to open up and share even the most mundane personal information including type of work, hobbies, other interests, etc. So it is sometimes difficult to find that common ground at first, but it is there, and I have never found it impossible to eventually find it.