Psychosexual Counseling?

[Boby]

Has anyone got experiences or stories of psychosexual counseling that they would like to share?

I've done it and I'll give an outline of my situation so far-

I accepted that my DL fetish has caused sexual difficulties and I've discussed the problem with a doctor. I don't want to be "cured" of my nappy fetish, I just want to be able to make love without depending on nappy thoughts and fantasies. I've since been referred onto a specialist psychosexual councilor with whom I hope to work towards a solution.

OK, So I love the feel of wetting myself; I enjoy the calming and warm emotions (and other warm things) experienced when wearing nappies; at home I like wearing bulky nappies and allowing them to show above the waistline of my PJ pants so my fiancee can see them. As they get wetter I start to become excited while thinking about the moment that I have to let down my adult guard and tell her that I I need a nappy change; the anticipation of the following intimate, close and very personal experience of her washing, caring for me and putting me in a fresh nappy causes waves of excitement to course through my body.

But these are all selfish desires! My fiancee accepted my fetish without question when I told her early on in our relationship, she and I thought that related foreplay would help with arousal and sexual performance. The decision to tell her was because I was a late starter and a virgin, it was more than a fetish and had become the focus of my sexual experiences and fantasies from an early age, before and during puberty, at a critical time when sexual associations (love maps) are formed within one's mind. After seven years together the problem didn't solve itself and she has started to feel that my difficulties indicate that I'm not sexually attracted to her, which just isn't true! I realized that to prevent the failure of our relationship, I needed to seek help in the form of psychosexual counseling, this may help to redirect my inner sexual focus sufficiently to allow pleasure from regular penetrative sex and assist in the other problem of erectile dysfunction.

I have a chronic neurological condition, while reading related medical journals I discovered documented cases suggesting links between my condition and medications used to control it with similar sexual difficulties to those I'm experiencing. These can include erectile dysfunction or extremes of sexual behavior such as hyposexuality or hypersexuality (high or low libido), the former may explain why I didn't form sufficiently close relationships with women to loose my cherry until my thirties (or were nappies taking their place?). Similar journal articles also discussed links between this condition, and a predisposition towards sexual fetishism, including specific cases of adults with nappy fetishes. I felt a whole lot better after discovering these links, they helped me to accept what may be a contributing factor towards the development of my paraphilia and also in my decision of who to approach for assistance.

Should I discuss it with my GP? He had previously made a limited attempt to help the ED by prescribing some of the well known pills for men, he was not aware of links between my condition and my ED problem (I didn't discuss the DL fetish with him). The pills didn't work and he wasn't in a hurry to help. I had an appointment with my neurologist soon and felt that in the light of the medical journal articles, the case was more in the realm of neurology, I decided to discuss it him during my next scheduled appointment!

My appointment drew near and although it would be a positive step, I grew anxious when wondering just how was I going to tell a doctor that I have a fetish for wetting myself and wearing nappies! It's certainly not a subject that one could work into the routine subjects discussed during a consultation, but if I was ever to enjoy normal sexual relationships alongside my nappy fetish, it had to be done! After nervously getting through the basic review of my condition and medications, I stalled and hesitantly told the doctor that I needed to discuss a personal problem of a sexual nature. My heart was pounding and I found raising the subject very difficult, after explaining my reasoning on why I chose to discuss it with him instead of my GP, he reached for his note pad. It was now or never! I nervously started talking about a problem in my sexual relationship, one where a fetish or paraphilia had got to the point of preventing us from enjoying normal sex, and I wondered if psychosexual counseling would be appropriate.

He wasn't an expert in sex issues such as this, so I kept it to the point, explaining how this fetish for wearing nappies had possibly evolved from an early curiosity, wondering how it would feel to be wearing a wet nappy while seeing babies being changed. I went on to explain how curiosity lead to experimenting with towels and eventually to discovering the warm and pleasant sensations associated with wetting them, and how repeated cycles of wetting nappies followed by masturbation has evolved to my current situation, one where the focus on wetting and nappies was making a normal sexual relationship very difficult. I also made it clear that the attraction was only to wearing nappies myself and nothing to do with minors.

He made notes while I nervously explained my situation and mentioned some early publications in which I discovered that I was not alone, I also mentioned some internet sites which described infantilism and autonepiophilia. He didn't ask many questions and said he would discuss my case with a neuropsychologist and that he intended to seek a referral to a suitable specialist or clinic. He also asked if it was OK for him to send a letter to my GP! This had me a little more nervous, one of the reasons I chose not to discuss it with my GP was because of the close proximity of the practice to my home, combined with the risk of admin staff opening and reading the correspondence!

I've been referred to a specialist and have just started visiting him weekly, the first week was to obtain an outline of the information and to assess if I would be a suitable patient. Next time I visited, we went through childhood and family background, then he allowed me to talk about my problems. This man was a specialist sexual councilor and the fact that he must have experienced a very wide range of sexual disorders made it easy for me to talk through the aspects and development of my paraphilia in a clear and factual way. He was quick to reassure me that wearing nappies was not abnormal, didn't ask for details and didn't suggest that I should stop. I caught a few glances towards my crotch, perhaps he was trying to see if I was wearing one during the consultation (I wasn't).

I leave each visit feeling more confident that both aspects of my disorder are being treated well. Any diagnostic physical or physiological tests will be done to help the ED and psychological exercises will assist me to redirect some of the sexual pleasure from nappies alone to help me confidently form good associations during sexual experiences with my fiancee.

So if you're a late developer, you're sexual drive is focussed more towards nappies/wetting and you don't have a relationship with women, or if you have a relationship which is showing the strain and you feel things could be better, you can do worse than talk to a specialized councilor, It won't be new to them!

[Guest wayneo]

That is great to put your relationship as being number one!! COngrats and good luck!

[Snugglebug]

Maybe this site could help you get a better understanding: http://www.asexuality.org/home/

[curiositykilledthecat]

Not everyone who is single and an abdl has issues of the sexual nature, however it sounds like you do. When a fetish becomes the only means of sexual arousal, then there is a problem. A fetish should be part of who you are, not all of who you are.

[Boby]

Maybe this site could help you get a better understanding: http://www.asexuality.org/home/

Ahem...... I think you've got the wrong idea, please read before replying

[Boby]

Not everyone who is single and an abdl has issues of the sexual nature, however it sounds like you do. When a fetish becomes the only means of sexual arousal, then there is a problem. A fetish should be part of who you are, not all of who you are.

Thanks for your professional opinion, you're describing a paraphilia which I had already recognized and described in the OP; therein I also explained that it was the reason why I decided to seek counseling. If my OP indicated that my only source of arousal was the DL fetish, then I apologize for not extending it by including several desrcript paragraphs of our other personal sexual activities. The OP was only intended as an introduction to the concept of PS counseling and to hear from others who, as I, may have taken the same path after accepting that some inclusion of the DL type fetish or fantasy had become a regular part of sexual relationships or outlet. So if any-one has taken this path, it would be good to hear about experiences, values or merits and if their aims were met.

[curiositykilledthecat]

My only point was that you are in the minority here as far as someone who sought psychosexual counseling for their fetish. most of us...well some of us are still grounded enough to separate the two worlds as needed. I'm actually quite happy that you had the courage to recognize you needed counseling and hopefully your example will help others who need it, seek help.

[Guest]

Thanks for your professional opinion, you're describing a paraphilia which I had already recognized and described in the OP; therein I also explained that it was the reason why I decided to seek counseling. If my OP indicated that my only source of arousal was the DL fetish, then I apologize for not extending it by including several desrcript paragraphs of our other personal sexual activities. The OP was only intended as an introduction to the concept of PS counseling and to hear from others who, as I, may have taken the same path after accepting that some inclusion of the DL type fetish or fantasy had become a regular part of sexual relationships or outlet. So if any-one has taken this path, it would be good to hear about experiences, values or merits and if their aims were met.

you are not in the minority here, or at least you're not alone. I am 26, and a virgin, never even really had a serious relationship, to be honest, but that could be due to my other issues. I just hope I dont have anything to worry about, given my past history. If you would like to discuss this in further detail, please IM me.

[curiositykilledthecat]

you are not in the minority here, or at least you're not alone. I am 26, and a virgin, never even really had a serious relationship, to be honest, but that could be due to my other issues. I just hope I dont have anything to worry about, given my past history. If you would like to discuss this in further detail, please IM me.

Well 27 and a virgin and no serious relationships, however that's more of a bpd/other underlying issue that is undiagnosed than an issue relating to abdl. That and I can't find anyone who catches my fancy.

Two girlfriends both named Amy and both Crazy, one mentally, one emotionally; I am a retard magnet!

[Goerge]

23 year old virgin here and never been in a relationship with no intention in ever having one sexually. I'm totally addicted to nappies and don't find sex stimulating, I guess most people when they think about purposely messing yourself in a nappy they think its revolting, my foot is on the other foot, I think sex is revolting..... I don't psycho-sexual counselling can change that because the desires run too deep... I don't think I'll even be able to get an erection with a women to be honest.

[curiositykilledthecat]

well the thread was fun while it lasted.

[sarah_ab]

First off, no medication is going to cause someone to have a fetish, or to have a diaper fetish. however medications can increase or decrease sexual arousal, add that to a person who is predisposed to 'fixate' and you could have an increase in fetish behavior, with a person becoming sexually fixated on a certain object or desire, but to claim a fetish is caused by a medication is just not true.

And boby, you made a a rather.... looooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggggg post filled with quite a bit of information, then proceeded to pretty much attack anyone who's response was not entirely in line with everything you wrote... heck even i didn't read everything you wrote, because it was way to long, and i wasn't really sure where you were going with it.

at any rate, I just hope you dont waste your money in counseling trying to find a 'reason' for liking diapers, because there isn't one reason, and you will just keep talking and talking and trying to place blame, like on medications you may have taken. I hope instead you spend your time coming to better understand your like/love for diapers and find ways to balance this with other activities in your life.

and a note to ALL people who see a professional, therapy is supposed to be a short and intensive experience.. it should not last more than 6 months to a year..

[diaperliz]

A very good post Boby, I thoroughly enjoyed it and appreciate you sharing.

Hopefully discussing it with your close-to-home GP won't cause any embarrassment for you.

Please keep us updated on any new developments!

[Diapers4Me]

I saw a psychosexual counselor for a while, in an attempt to get through some of my thoughts about my DL desires. My wife also saw the same person, and we (doc and I) came to the conclusion that my DL desires weren't getting in the way of my relationship with my wife, and that my wife's asexual nature was more of an issue....

It was still helpful to talk with a professional about this fetish....put my mind to rest...

[spankie]

Has anyone got experiences or stories of psychosexual counseling that they would like to share?

I've done it and I'll give an outline of my situation so far-

I accepted that my DL fetish has caused sexual difficulties and I've discussed the problem with a doctor. I don't want to be "cured" of my nappy fetish, I just want to be able to make love without depending on nappy thoughts and fantasies. I've since been referred onto a specialist psychosexual councilor with whom I hope to work towards a solution.

OK, So I love the feel of wetting myself; I enjoy the calming and warm emotions (and other warm things) experienced when wearing nappies; at home I like wearing bulky nappies and allowing them to show above the waistline of my PJ pants so my fiancee can see them. As they get wetter I start to become excited while thinking about the moment that I have to let down my adult guard and tell her that I I need a nappy change; the anticipation of the following intimate, close and very personal experience of her washing, caring for me and putting me in a fresh nappy causes waves of excitement to course through my body.

But these are all selfish desires! My fiancee accepted my fetish without question when I told her early on in our relationship, she and I thought that related foreplay would help with arousal and sexual performance. The decision to tell her was because I was a late starter and a virgin, it was more than a fetish and had become the focus of my sexual experiences and fantasies from an early age, before and during puberty, at a critical time when sexual associations (love maps) are formed within one's mind. After seven years together the problem didn't solve itself and she has started to feel that my difficulties indicate that I'm not sexually attracted to her, which just isn't true! I realized that to prevent the failure of our relationship, I needed to seek help in the form of psychosexual counseling, this may help to redirect my inner sexual focus sufficiently to allow pleasure from regular penetrative sex and assist in the other problem of erectile dysfunction.

I have a chronic neurological condition, while reading related medical journals I discovered documented cases suggesting links between my condition and medications used to control it with similar sexual difficulties to those I'm experiencing. These can include erectile dysfunction or extremes of sexual behavior such as hyposexuality or hypersexuality (high or low libido), the former may explain why I didn't form sufficiently close relationships with women to loose my cherry until my thirties (or were nappies taking their place?). Similar journal articles also discussed links between this condition, and a predisposition towards sexual fetishism, including specific cases of adults with nappy fetishes. I felt a whole lot better after discovering these links, they helped me to accept what may be a contributing factor towards the development of my paraphilia and also in my decision of who to approach for assistance.

Should I discuss it with my GP? He had previously made a limited attempt to help the ED by prescribing some of the well known pills for men, he was not aware of links between my condition and my ED problem (I didn't discuss the DL fetish with him). The pills didn't work and he wasn't in a hurry to help. I had an appointment with my neurologist soon and felt that in the light of the medical journal articles, the case was more in the realm of neurology, I decided to discuss it him during my next scheduled appointment!

My appointment drew near and although it would be a positive step, I grew anxious when wondering just how was I going to tell a doctor that I have a fetish for wetting myself and wearing nappies! It's certainly not a subject that one could work into the routine subjects discussed during a consultation, but if I was ever to enjoy normal sexual relationships alongside my nappy fetish, it had to be done! After nervously getting through the basic review of my condition and medications, I stalled and hesitantly told the doctor that I needed to discuss a personal problem of a sexual nature. My heart was pounding and I found raising the subject very difficult, after explaining my reasoning on why I chose to discuss it with him instead of my GP, he reached for his note pad. It was now or never! I nervously started talking about a problem in my sexual relationship, one where a fetish or paraphilia had got to the point of preventing us from enjoying normal sex, and I wondered if psychosexual counseling would be appropriate.

He wasn't an expert in sex issues such as this, so I kept it to the point, explaining how this fetish for wearing nappies had possibly evolved from an early curiosity, wondering how it would feel to be wearing a wet nappy while seeing babies being changed. I went on to explain how curiosity lead to experimenting with towels and eventually to discovering the warm and pleasant sensations associated with wetting them, and how repeated cycles of wetting nappies followed by masturbation has evolved to my current situation, one where the focus on wetting and nappies was making a normal sexual relationship very difficult. I also made it clear that the attraction was only to wearing nappies myself and nothing to do with minors.

He made notes while I nervously explained my situation and mentioned some early publications in which I discovered that I was not alone, I also mentioned some internet sites which described infantilism and autonepiophilia. He didn't ask many questions and said he would discuss my case with a neuropsychologist and that he intended to seek a referral to a suitable specialist or clinic. He also asked if it was OK for him to send a letter to my GP! This had me a little more nervous, one of the reasons I chose not to discuss it with my GP was because of the close proximity of the practice to my home, combined with the risk of admin staff opening and reading the correspondence!

I've been referred to a specialist and have just started visiting him weekly, the first week was to obtain an outline of the information and to assess if I would be a suitable patient. Next time I visited, we went through childhood and family background, then he allowed me to talk about my problems. This man was a specialist sexual councilor and the fact that he must have experienced a very wide range of sexual disorders made it easy for me to talk through the aspects and development of my paraphilia in a clear and factual way. He was quick to reassure me that wearing nappies was not abnormal, didn't ask for details and didn't suggest that I should stop. I caught a few glances towards my crotch, perhaps he was trying to see if I was wearing one during the consultation (I wasn't).

I leave each visit feeling more confident that both aspects of my disorder are being treated well. Any diagnostic physical or physiological tests will be done to help the ED and psychological exercises will assist me to redirect some of the sexual pleasure from nappies alone to help me confidently form good associations during sexual experiences with my fiancee.

So if you're a late developer, you're sexual drive is focussed more towards nappies/wetting and you don't have a relationship with women, or if you have a relationship which is showing the strain and you feel things could be better, you can do worse than talk to a specialized councilor, It won't be new to them!

[spankie]

I'm male, do not have sex, masterbate.

I like cute slender female, will not persue if not, therefore I have no female

I have had Counseling and happy for it

I told her I diaper and sleep with a Teddy, and I was crying

At age ten boys put their hornies in my bottom

At age 17 men pursue me for sucking me and fondling me

I have sex with a slender girl 2 years younger, she told me I was one of those, a baby

On my own I was excited to have this done and I would receive protection, money, food

Age 22 I diaper

Age 30 I tie my ankles before bed

I like to be cute, people like me and not hurt me

I sleep in diaper with a Teddy

I wear a skirt

I'm 57

[spankie]

At age 17 , I had sex with a slender girl , who was 15.

She told me I was one of those, a baby

Diapering at night feels good on my hornie, and helps the hornie to go away and I will go asleep. Then I still have my hornie while out in Public looking for a slender female , I would like to have sex with.

When I masterbate on the bed, I use baby oil and do the stuff into a paper towel

My fantasy is to have a Mommie masterbating me, and telling me when she's done, I will be diapered.

[sarah_ab]

ok spankie... ummm was there a point to all of that?

*giggles* you called your penis a hornie.

[spankie]

ok spankie... ummm was there a point to all of that?

*giggles* you called your penis a hornie.

I wish I may say I have a point, but I'm suffering by myself, because I have no human touch.

I'm suffering because what happen to me and the understanding of human nature

The conflict was in Junior High, boys talking about QUEERS, but by that time I was already molested (QUEERED), and I had to hide this from boys and from myself. I may send you my Junior High picture, attracting to boys and girls and I was cute.

[M 90]

Good Post Boby

Get comfortable because this is going to be a long one...

Well where to start, I too have experienced your problem and I do believe we are in the minority when it comes to seeing a professional about being ab/dl. I have been a ab/dl my whole life. Some of my first memories are of me sneaking my younger brother's diapers and finding a good hiding place so I could put them on and pretend to be a baby. Throughout my childhood the desires to be a baby were always there. I would use make-shift diapers out of shirts or towels whenever I was home alone and such. So it was only natural that when I was 12 or so I had my first orgasm one random day while wearing a towel and fantasizing about a woman babying me.

My teenage years where a very confusing and ugly time in my life and the fact that I constantly fantasized about my hot female teachers and classmates diapering me didn't help that time of my life at all. Whenever I masterbated it was always to the random fantasies of women babying me. The shame/guilt complex really kicked in around this time because when all my friends were busy having all kinds of sex it made me really look at my sexuality. I mean I was attracted to girls and had a few girlfriends at that time but I could never feel sexually attracted to them unless I put them in the dominant mommy type role. So I guess these were the first signs of the sexual dysfunction. I was never sexual with any of those girlfriends and would always immediately end the relationships when they got to the "below the surface" level or that point in a early relationship when you start to really get to know one another. When it start to get there I would get so fucking nervous I would just have to end the relationship. Didn't know it at the time but I know now that my sexual/intimacy insecurities run very deep and have a lot to do with living with infantilism all my life.

There was a point in my later teenage years when I felt so alienated because of my sexual desires that I stole some Hustler and Penthouse magazines and tried to jerk off to those in hopes that I could convince myself that I was "normal". But those attempts were always unsuccessful because in order to orgasm I would just end up thinking of those models as my mommies, ha ha.

That's about the just of my history of it, now I will fast forward to my ex wife. This is a very long story so I will summarize the best I can. When I met my ex-wife like 5 years ago we hit it off pretty good, we had a lot in common, we were (and are still) recovering alcoholics/drug addicts, had similar out looks on life and had big dreams. About 3 or 4 weeks into the relationship I lost my virginity, it was actually a very awkward experience because I couldn't orgasm. This went on for about a month until I discovered that eventhough I am really in love with this girl nothing has changed, I have to think of her babying me in order to orgasm. So that's how it went till about 6 months in when the big day all of us ab/dl's dread... The coming out to our significant other's.

Pretty much right off the bat she was shocked and pretty fucked up about it, it did not go over well to say the least. In retrospect this was in my point of view the hump in our relationship that we never quite made it over. Anyway, she took it upon herself to set up a counseling appointment and we went through all that jazz. Although now a days I don't know what I would do without my sex therapist but the first experince with a therapist was very unpleasant. She got a sex therapist who condemned my infantilism and pretty much labeled me as a sex addict and kept directing me to Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings to "recover". In a way this was a blessing in disguise because it eventually lead me to other sex therapists that are truly supporting and have really helped me understand and accept this aspect of me.

But throughout my relationship with my ex my infantilism was never accepted by her (hell, it wasn't even truly accepted by me at that time) and not because she was being a bitch about it but because of me and my selfishness. I now know how selfish I was at times with my infantilism in our relationship but back then I was so "in the dark" about it and there was so much about sex and intimacy I did not understand. She was willing to play the mommy role a few times which was amazing of her but like I said I always wanted more of it because I could not feel love, compassion, care and true sexual connection unless she was my mommy. On top of that when I told her in a therapy session about how I cannot orgasm unless I think of her as my mommy she was pretty crushed because like you said she thought that I wasn't sexually attracted to her. Now I know that I was sexually all about her its just back then I had no idea of how to give or recieve that sexual love and affection unless I was the baby and she was the mommy, you dig?

Anyway we went ahead and got married anyways. She ended up coming to a point where she would be my mommy every once in awhile and I could not even mention anything about my infantilism or wear a diaper around her unless it was our "baby time". The rules pretty much were that the only time I could ask for "baby time" was when we hadn't done it in awhile and she was in a good mood. She needed this "warning" of sorts so she could prepare herself mentally and emotionally for it because she was always pretty repulsed by it. I might as well mention that "baby time" consisted of her diapering me, holding me for awhile and then jerking me off. We are not talking the royal treatment here. Not that I expected that but just to give you an idea of what we did. During this time of marriage I stopped seeing my therapist and she long before this stopped as well. Eventually her own intimacy and relationship issues caught up with her and she ended up talking to and hanging out with the love of her life ex-boyfriend that just got out of prison after serving a 6 year sentence. Another long story short we split and the divorce just got finalized 2 weeks ago.

But one thing about the split was that it forced me to throw myself head first back into therapy because I believe that my selfishness and ignorance about my infantilism played a major role in my divorce. Right now I am currently working with a fetish friendly therapist who has shared with me that she has unusual fetishes herself. I just got referred to this new therapist a few weeks ago after vigorous work with my last therapist for the 4-5 months prior who suggested I try this direction with my therapy. But right now we are just starting to explore my intimacy and relationship issues with the ultimate goal being for my infantilism only to be apart of me in the intimacy of a relationship and not all of me. I should mention that when getting intimate with a woman I can get an erection and really turned on, I just can't orgasm with out the mommy thoughts.

So that's about it, I still have a long way to go but I know I am so much more accepting and understanding of my infantilism then I was just 6 months ago do to the therapy. I know that my future relationships are only going to benefit from this work I have been doing. I highly recommend that if anyone feels the need for therapy to go for it because you really have nothing to lose. It will either be the best thing for you or you will just realize you don't need it, sounds pretty win-win to me.

Hope somebody gets something out of my post cause I know I did, the trip down memory lane has really put things into perspective again, man I needed it this morning. Thanx Daily Di!

If you have made it this far you are the champion, high-fives all around.

Later

[curiositykilledthecat]

I think many of you should be grateful for any relationships you may have had in the past, hell I didn't even have a romantic relationship of any sort until I was 21 and that lasted a little over a month. Because of self esteem and physical issues I never even bothered or was bothered(well except for one stalker in high school) to be in any type of relationships. Hell one douche bag I went to school with thought it would be funny to tell everyone in my class I was a hermaphrodite. Thankfully once people figured out what one was they stopped laughing and teasing and kind of turned on the kid who started it. I haven't been in a relationship since 2004 and the only humorous thing about that one was getting dumped and fired within 24 hours of each other. I just stood there and started laughing at my former employer. I don't have problems getting turned on by standard femaleness, diapers or none, I just know why I desire the little side of things and eventually if I don't find that level of intimacy I'm going to have to confront some issues.

[TheMagicDragon]

I've experienced quite a bit of this to some degree. So I understand how it feels from the guys perspective. It can take over your life. My current marital relationship works but its still rather suxually disfunctional. I've always suspected that ED drugs won't help. Its an emotional problem, not physical.

Do Women DLs have this difficulty? I suspect they do. How do they cope? What works in their relationships?

Is it true that the ideal relationship (in a perfect world haha) might be in the form of a DL Couple (where both wear and use?) Given the amount of Couples that are around, Its currently my opinion that this works great! But, I want the ladies opinions. Do they also go through a similar sexual disfunction and do they feel that DL Couples are matches made in heaven? Have any women had psychotherapy regarding this and what can be concluded from that?

Inquiring ABDLs want to know!

[M 90]

I've experienced quite a bit of this to some degree. So I understand how it feels from the guys perspective. It can take over your life. My current marital relationship works but its still rather suxually disfunctional. I've always suspected that ED drugs won't help. Its an emotional problem, not physical.

Do Women DLs have this difficulty? I suspect they do. How do they cope? What works in their relationships?

Is it true that the ideal relationship (in a perfect world haha) might be in the form of a DL Couple (where both wear and use?) Given the amount of Couples that are around, Its currently my opinion that this works great! But, I want the ladies opinions. Do they also go through a similar sexual disfunction and do they feel that DL Couples are matches made in heaven? Have any women had psychotherapy regarding this and what can be concluded from that?

Inquiring ABDLs want to know!

I too am curious about this, I guess I have been so "into myself" with my infantilism I never thought much to how sexual intimacy works with a ab/dl female. But I guess your little scenerio just proves further of why sexual fetishes in general are not considered a form of sexual compulsiveness/addiction. Because I don't know if any of you are familiar with the big book of psychological disorders called the "DSM-IV". Anyway my current therapist made clear to me that when it comes to diagnosing sexual fetishism all the big gear turning psycholigists that are responsible for updated the DSM-IV regularly can never come to agreement about officially diagnosing sexual fetishes as a sexual addiction. So its pretty much saying that as long as we aren't forcing this on to anybody or letting our sexual desires rule our lives and get us into trouble we are totally cool and there is nothing wrong with it.

So saying that would I need to learn how to be completely present during sex in a committed relationship with a woman who was a ab/dl herself who may have to play her own little infantilist fantasy out in her head in order for her to orgasm? If we both during sex just played out our infantilist fantasies in our heads in order to orgasm and we were cool with it would there be anything truly wrong with that? Would sex really be a factor if we just got out our sexual intimacy with eachother by taking turns babying eachother? Dude, you just got my head spinning. Good Stuff!

[M 90]

I think many of you should be grateful for any relationships you may have had in the past, hell I didn't even have a romantic relationship of any sort until I was 21 and that lasted a little over a month. Because of self esteem and physical issues I never even bothered or was bothered(well except for one stalker in high school) to be in any type of relationships. Hell one douche bag I went to school with thought it would be funny to tell everyone in my class I was a hermaphrodite. Thankfully once people figured out what one was they stopped laughing and teasing and kind of turned on the kid who started it. I haven't been in a relationship since 2004 and the only humorous thing about that one was getting dumped and fired within 24 hours of each other. I just stood there and started laughing at my former employer. I don't have problems getting turned on by standard femaleness, diapers or none, I just know why I desire the little side of things and eventually if I don't find that level of intimacy I'm going to have to confront some issues.

Yeah man stalkers are great in theory but pretty fucking terrifying in reality, I had one of those once, not cool! Fuck the asshole who took it upon himself to bust you out like that, hope he got the shunning he deserved by your classmates. And yeah I am very greatful for my ex atleast participating because I really learned a lot. I mean I enjoyed it some of the time but most of the time I was very uncomfortable and it was not what I thought it would be. Like it showed me how much I hadn't accepted my infantilism for myself and it showed me how being selfish with my infantilism is kind of like putting your S.O. in a hostage situation so they are not comfortable either. What I mean is is the time I truly enjoyed it was the rare time my ex didn't mind doing it for me. But the other 95% of the time it just felt awkward, but this is all in retrospect, its because of my therapy I am now able to recognize that 95% of the time we had "baby time" was because of my selfishness and not because she was ok with doing it for me. I am now able to recognize that she felt like she was taken hostage by me and my infantilism. Do to me not understanding how infantilism works in me I had know choice but to take her hostage because at that time there was no way for me to feel true sexual intimacy without "baby time".

Therapy has been a god-send for me, there is no way I could have recognized and ironed out this clusterfuck of psychological stew with out the help of a professional.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I've had one female stalker and two male stalkers, I'm like a magnet for this stuff. It has gotten to the point where I am laughing at it. At least the one in high school it was rather cute watching her find 30 something different ways to be told no! From September through December this poor girl kept trying to do whatever she could to get my attention. My favorite was when we went to our lockers and she threw everyone's lunches on the ground and asked me to help find hers. Fortunately she finally moved. The two guys weren't trying to date me, they were just both losers who happened to be schizophrenic. One bashed in car window and no contact order later both are gone. I think I'll skip the random guy here who freaked me out. My life is too stupid to make up. I swear I should do stand up.

Edit:

It took a few years but the kid who was breaking my stones in grammar school got it back even worse in middle school. Him and I were part of the talented and gifted student program(not even sure why he is in the program) and we had our annual quiz bowl. I wanted nothing to do with that, I was already unpopular enough so I didn't show up that night, however I wish I did. This kid panicked on stage and pissed himself just before crying.

EPIC