Thinking Bout Telling A Friend...Advice?

[gbw_dl]

okay, some of you may have read my earlier post about my friend getting an apartment and him giving me permission to ship stuff to his house without discretion(Diapers obviously). got some great advice from the people here, and now the same person, whom i really have alot of trust into, im thinking about telling him about my need for diapers, and also tell him thats what i am odering to his apartment(diapers). i really trust him that he would tell absolutely no one. if i decide to tell him i will let him know like this.

"Hey man, i need to tell you what i am ordering to your house, i think you should know. lately i have been having bedwetting problems and i have been wearing diapers to sleep, i am so scared i havent even told my parents, and i thought i would tell you because i know you wouldnt judge me. i thought that i would do the right thing and be upfront with you. so i am ordering adult diapers to your house cause i dont want my parents to know."

something along these lines. i know for a fact he wouldnt tell anyone and be understanding. and that way i would be able to get it off my chest with someone, in a way that he would be alright with.

i really feel that if i dont tell someone close to me i will blow up! this guy is my closest friend and i know he will always be my friend.

What do you guys think? Dont hold back.

Ryan S.

[InD]

What do you guys think? Dont hold back.

Ryan S.

The only think I would suggest is ask yourself what the motive for your behaviour is? In other words, why do you want to tell him? Are you hoping for ... acceptance? A partner? etc?

Best case, you get a somewhat sympathetic ear. Worse case, you lose a place to ship your diapers to, and maybe even a friend.

InD

[Depends1578]

InD has a great point. What will you get out of telling him? Or what do you hope to get out of it. Just to be upfront and honest? Even if he doesnt judge you, do you think it will be worth the risk? Are you really having bedwetting problems also? In that case, if you are not, then it isn't the honest truth. Don't let me come off as to scare you, because I am not. Best of luck.

[FretaBWet]

Are you having bedwetting issues or are you lying to him? If you're lying to him because you don't think he would be accepting of the fact that you are ordering diapers just because you like them then what kind of friend does that make you? Just something for you to think about.

Hugs,

Freta

[collegebaby86]

I know it seems like the end of the world, but I've managed to tell several people without too much embarrassment. Whatever you decide, best of luck.

[Mischa]

I told my best friend, he's fine with it...but then again he says to each their own.

[Bettypooh]

I had to 'come out' as a TG because it was visible to everyone but I don't have to tell them what kind of underwear I have on I know the pressure to open up and let someone know who you really are but honestly the risk here isn't worth taking This is something that few people seem to be able to tolerate, much less accept- and if you tell just one person who blabs then you're going to hate yourself for doing something so stupid I wouldn't tell anyone unless I had to (such as if they discover that I'm diapered) or if I were in a situation where they needed to know (dating with a LTR imminent) or if I were forced to do so for my own good (police/airport screening/etc.) Whatever the scenario, consider what it might end like if everything goes wrong regardless of what you believe the odds are of that happening before you do or say anything. Sometimes it's best to say and do nothing as long as you can. Yeah, that can be tough but it's a lot easier than having your whole world crash down around you as you're ridiculed at every turn- and that can happen.

I have good friends that I care about deeply; I'd never directly lie to them but they also know not to pry when I say that I don't want to discuss something, so when I need to that's what I tell them- and I accept the same from them too We trust each other enough to know that if there was a need to say something it would be said, and we respect each other enough to not go prying into places where we shouldn't even if we can In time I'm sure my diaper use will become at least partially known- and that's the right time for me to say something about it. Till then I remain discreet for everyone else's comfort; you should consider doing likewise.

Bettypooh

[jbz2079]

I sort of go along with not telling, Just because You obviously are a fetish wearer and if youre friend is as close as you say, About the second thing he going to say is have you been to the Doctors about this.

Leading no doubt to more lies, you can see where this is heading.

When I became incontinent I told everyone that mattered that I was wearing, most asked questions about the medical side of it, Like can't they

sort you out/ man that sucks ect, ect.

I eventually admitted to a very close couple of friend that the diapers were more than just a medical need, ie a fetish and that I took pleasure

from wearing them and they were like that good considering you have to wear them, but that's as far as it went, It never gets mentioned now,

Yes at the time it seemed like a great idea to tell my friends that I was wearing, but I reckon I should have kept the intamate deatails to myself and my then girlfriend- JDK.

[fluff]

I agree with the others, what do you want to achieve?

I'd always think about the worst case and work backwards. You could lose a friend.

Not worth it just because of your choice of underwear in my opinion.

But then, telling him could be the best thing you ever do.

Too much risk there of something happening out of your control.

[bedwetter73]

I think you should share what you are ordering. What happens if the box shows up one day with the handle ripped open, it happened to me and now my mother in-law knows. Things happen in transit that can't be helped. Even if you don't tell him why you are getting diapers delivered it's best for him to know. Screw what he thinks, I mean if he;s your friend then why does it matter. Friends and friends, no matter what! Don't lie, but don't volunteer anything either. Just say they are diapers and that's that. Unless he asks more there isn't a need to explain things anymore than that.

I told my best friend and he giggled a bit but we are still friends years later. I told another while tripping on ecstasy. That was an interesting next morning I tell you. He saw me in my bedwetting diaper, that was wet, and remembered our earlier conversation, kinda a funny story but embarrassing as well.

I would again caution you, what are you looking to get out of this? If nothing, then just tell him what they are and leave it at that.

[wetnappyuk]

My best mate knows, he doesnt mind or think its too weird as everyone has their own fetish. We was chatting about it once and I admited he caught me a few weeks ago. I had a Bambino on and a TShirt whilst my dad was out of town, the door bell went (wasnt expecting anyone) and it was him.

I put a house coat on and let him in, sat and chatted as per as I didnt wanna move about due to crinkles. I thought he seen but when I told him a few days ago, he didnt have any idea.

[babyvr6]

I say if you must tell him, then do it by getting both of you drunk and let it slip. Seems to work for most people.

[wetnappyuk]

You could say you caught a programme on tv say Sexetera about fetishes and introduce it from there...

[Radioman]

Dont do it... No reason to get someone else involved. A person who is your best friend today, may not be your friend tomorrow.

In many cases, when friendships go bad, they want to tell the world every little dirty secret you have. Unless your willing to have EVERYONE know your kinks. Keep it to yourself.

You can have any package sent by USPS held at a post office. Go and talk to your local post office about how to do this.

Good luck

Radioman

[happyindprs]

I did this very same thing eight years ago. For some reason I thought I was living a double life or living a lie or not being true to myself and yes, I thought I would explode if I didn't tell someone. My wife knows I wear diapers but for some reason it wasn't enough. I started with telling a couple of friends that I no longer worked with. I didn't come right out and tell them in person, I wrote all of them a letter.

The first person I told was my sister. I called her on the phone and told her I had something to tell her. I spilled my guts and we had a long talk about it. She said she remembered coming into my room when I was a kid and catching me in a diaper but never saying anything about it. I felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders. It was quite liberating.

I thought I was on a roll so I told a bunch of my friends over a few rounds of beers. One got up from the table and said, "Don't ever contact me again!" and stormed out. The other three that were there shocked me by not batting an eye. There collective comments were that they couldn't believe they never noticed before. We are all still friends, although the subject does not come up anymore.

Lastly I told my brother and he didn't speak to me for five years. He was so shocked and angry that I thought we would never speak to each other again. This caused such a rift in my family. My wife felt betrayed and I was on the verge of a divorce.

What liberating effect i felt at first was short lived. I accomplished nothing and only destroyed my reputation with them. So take my advise and tell only those people in your live that a re truly open-minded and preferably AB/DL aware as it is just not worth it

[Vic]

Bit of a conundrum there, I came out to my family when I was 17, the worst reaction I got was from my father, who sent me to a shrink for a year until he figured out the shrink was a quack (I mean really, who encourages a 17 year old kid to go out and do drugs?).

After that I only told my intimate friends and the girls I got into relationships with. It is surprising how many just took it in stride as being a part of me that was just a bit "different".

Of course I always was a bit different, and believed that just a few close friends was much better than a whole gang of friends. Due to the lifestyle we led I only have one friend left alive, and he's the one who was always there through thick and thin (interestingly enough everybody thought we'd be dead before 30, and we're still here and all of them are gone).

If your friend is the type who'll be with you through thick and thin, then you can trust him more than anyone else. So tell him, or don't tell him. It's up to what you feel you need to do, it's your life. However, if you tell him DON'T lie! If you decide to share this information with him he deserves the truth, so be honest, if he has questions answer them HONESTLY.

He's your best friend, if you decide to tell him he deserves the absolute truth and nothing less.

Peace,

Vic

[WallaWalla]

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable living with somebody that I felt the need to hide it from. While I do normally agree with the 'what do you gain by letting them know' line, seems different when you are sharing a living space.

That being said, I wouldn't actively broach the topic either. Just order the diapers and keep them in your room out of sight. Don't wear them around him and don't sweat it if you are concerned about him finding them. If he asks what is coming in the mail, just tell him. If he freaks out, tell him that he asked and that you had planned on keeping it off his radar unless he had to know about it. I personally can't speak for others, but the "don't hide it and don't push it" policy has worked pretty well for me in my lifetime as a young adult. I mean really, chances are that I am not going to want to have much to do with a person who would flip their top and disown a person for something they made no effort(even passively) to even disclose. If somebody can't live with the fact that at some point I am going to be sitting in my room wearing a diaper and sucking on a pacifier outside of their presence, then they aren't very good friend material to begin with.

[Guest refused afternoon]

ok i'm assuming you're going to tell him no matter what, i could say the same stuff the others are saying but i'm not one to go with the crowd so i'll try to give some usable advice aside from just don't tell him.

i don't know you so i dont know if saying you're a bedwetter is a lie or not but i'll start off by assuming it isn't i'll start with the don'ts and move onto the do's

first off this is your first impression about this aspect of your life, don't act overly embarrassed or nervous because he will feel you're ashamed of it and feel like he doesn't have the right to bring it up in conversation because it makes you feel broken. it would have a tone of diapers being a medical need and he would regard them in the same light as tampons, yeah they need to be in the house but he'll avoid them. blushing a little might be ok.

if it really is a fetish and you tell him that and act ashamed he'll have a way harder time accepting it, most people already think adults wearing diapers for kicks is weird enough, it'll only add fuel to the weirdness fire if you come off as also thinking it's weird and shameful.

also don't act overly excited, yeah sometimes getting the burden off your chest can get your heart pounding and adrenaline going but try not to be all wide eyed and act all hot and bothered, as this will creep him out. this applies to talking a mile a minute, telling him absolutely everything at once, looking turned on, getting a hannibal lecter type look on your face, excitedly showing him your entire diaper stash and explaining the pros and cons of each brand of diaper right away, acting like this is your hugest secret and giving it the same importance as breathing, showing him fetish sites or pics of people in diapers, or generally acting in a way that he as someone who knows you well would consider really strange.

don't go blank, think carefully about what you're going to say and how you're going to present it initially, try to guess which questions he will ask and prepare answers for each one you can think of.

don't act like this is a new thing and you're willing to give it up quickly like it's a new fad if you're not.

don't tell him he'll need to take your diapers out on trash night, you should consider them personal items and your own responsibility, no normal person wants to drag a dripping foul smelling trash bag through the house especially knowing exactly what's in it.

don't lie. if you really aren't a bedwetter and he catches you wearing one while watching tv or cleaning up the place it'll only lead to more questions and hurt feelings you lied and or didn't trust him enough. at the same time brutal honesty probably isn't the way to go so saying stuff like you routinely shit yourself and or jack off in a diaper probably won't help your argument.

don't try to get him to wear one, this isn't a "how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it" thing, everyone's worn a diaper, not many remember it but that argument will never work. plus most people see peeing on themselves a bit gross.

don't bring up the topic of pedophilia, for some reason it's common for people to lump wearing diapers in with liking kids in the wrong way. if his mind doesn't connect the two great, but if he does bring it up make it clear that's the farthest thing from what this is.

don't interrupt something fun or important to tell him, he'll be a little annoyed you made him pause his game or whatever and

~ok now onto the do's.~

try to act confident, try to play it off like it's just part of what makes you who you are but a the same time don't act cocky like it's the best thing in the world and it makes you superior. the goal is to seem like you're still the same person and this is just another conversation, but at the same time don't diminish it, if you keep dismissing his questions like he's stupid for asking them it'll most likely cause an argument or bad blood.

do give him advanced warning you want to tell him something when you two arent doing anything but remember this is still part of the first impression so don't make him think you're coming out of the closet and you're gonna profess your undying love for him. on the other side of the coin don't make it seem like you're going to discuss which movie you want to see tomorrow because he will feel slightly ambushed and un prepared which might put him on the defensive.

try to give telling him the same importance as a family member he doesn't really like that much is coming for a visit but don't give off a sense of impending doom. also don't tell him you need to discuss something then wait too long to tell him, it'll just make him play scenarios in hi head about what you're goiing to tell him. it's probably best to tell him in the morning on a day you both won't be going anywhere and tell him that evening.

sometimes advanced warning isn't the way to go, sometimes it's best to bring it up when you're both bored or already talking about something similar. you know him best so you know if he's better at spur of the moment type stuff or if he hates surprises.

make sure all his questions are answered so he feels satisfied with your explanation but also don't drag it out just so you can fully unburden yourself, it's ok if the convo is short cause then you're planting the seed, leave it up to him but make sure he knows he can ask anything he wants because that might avoid mis understandings in the future.

a joke or two might help lighten the mood and turn the tone of the conversation towards the positive, the better of the mood he's in the easier it will be to accept.

now that i think about it it might be a good idea for it to be dinner conversation during either something you ordered and paid for like pizza or something he likes and you cooked.

make sure the room is quiet enough for him to hear everything clearly but not too quiet to avoid awkward silences, it's probably best to get some light hearted music you both listen to going before hand (just make sure it's not even remotely close to a love song ) but this isn't required so don't stop the flow of the conversation to go turn on the radio or pandora, if you go with the dinner conversation idea try to turn it on while you're cooking and just leave it on while you eat.

there's more advice i can give but i think this is more than enough to give you a good idea on how to present it without making an ass out of yourself.

good luck.

edit: oops didn't read it right, i thought you were moving in with him. oh well i don't feel like completely re writing this so just pick and choose what works for you.

[curiositykilledthecat]

My advice is don't but hey maybe it will work out for you.

[BabyBadRat]

It is impossible to know how it will turn out...if he really is a good friend, I would hope he wouldn't shun you over this (at worst I would hope he would just act like you never told him and ignore it). I have a few very close friends that I have told, and I am very glad I did because it helps me cope to be able to talk openly about it with my close friends.

I also have a few friends that I tried to tell who quickly changed the subject -- they just pretend I never mentioned it and we never discussed it again and that was that. I have never actually lost a friend over it.

But then again this is my personal experience, and maybe I just have really open minded friends........