Seriously Need Some Help Here

[DLonline]

i told my Girlfriend alittle bit about me and diapers but i dont think she understands. Everytime i try and expalain it to her sge will change the topic or make some excuse that she has to leave or somthing. I feal guilty hiding this from her and i want her to know but i just dont really know how to approuch it the right way. ive tried to talk to her online but she will logg off ive been suggested to talk to her in person but the nerves i have keep me from doing so, So please tell me what can i do????? I feal like if she doesnt know then im hiding somthing from her and then o feal like somehow im lieing to her. So please im open to advise here. -DLonline-

[hidden]

sounds like you need to grit your teeth and lay it out for her. find a way to tie her down since she seems to be avoiding the topic.

do you want to keep hiding this from her? are you willing to give it up so you can avoid the conversation?

i have no experience in this so up to you if you listen but it seems that if you hide something like this from her and she finds out later, it would show to her that you didn't trust her with it and would probably hurt her.

if you tell her now and she rejects it, then you will know. if you cannot live without this part of your life, you will then know you have to move on.

make sure you do it right though. if you act ashamed of it, it would give her the feeling it is something to be ashamed of.

i haven't had to have this conversation yet and i imagine that it may be hard but is the hardship of the conversation worse or better than the hardship of keeping your secret?

[WetterGuy]

Hey DL,

The first thing you have to ask is why you want her to know. Once you answer this question, it will give you more direction in your efforts. Do you want her to know because the dating is starting to get serious (like we're going ring shopping) and you want to come clean before the relationship goes farther? Are you needing to introduce diapers into your physical relationship in order for it to be fulfilling? If the answer to either of these is yes, then it's time to tell her up front. Here's what I did - I invited my then girlfriend (now wife) to my apartment for breakfast. I told her ahead of time that I had something important to tell her. So after we ate we sat together on the couch, held hands, and I told her honestly about diapers. To my great relief, she was ok with it.

If you're not ready to do this in person yet, your relationship with your girlfriend probably still has some room to grow. If this is the case, I'd give it more time and see if the two of you are still together in a few months.

The biggest thing I find as far as women and diapers is making sure that you don't send any signals that you love the diapers more than you love the woman. If you introduce the diapers as a part of who you are she'll be more likely to accept them than if you introduce diapers as the greatest desire of yours. After all, she's supposed to be your greatest desire.

I hope this is helpful, and I wish you the best.

[Bettypooh]

By her obviously not wanting to talk about this I'd suggest that you ease off for awhile. If you push it now she's going to summarily reject it and you because she's not ready to try to deal with it- eben if she would have been accepting later on Girls are like that and aren't going to change Sometimes timing is everything with girls so learn what their 'hints' mean and oblige them- they'll love you for that and you'll stand a better chance of getting what you want in the end

Bettypooh

[AFFLICTION12541208]

I went through this same delema with my girlfriend, i was afraid to tell her and i didn't know how to explain my true feelings without her thinking i was crazy. I sat her down one night and i told here how much she means to me and that I have a secret that i want her to be apart of. I told her my feelings about diapers and the way they make me feel, and how they help relieve stress and they are just fun overall. After that the best decision i ever made was showing her the "mommy manual" that i found on dpf.com

here is the link, read this to her or have her read it and ask you any questions that she might have, but that site should take care of it all

http://www.dpf.com/mommymanual.html

i hope this all works out for you, best of luck

[Junibug 4 Lucy]

hihi

you know the thig that all us girls want to hear is how much you love them....so i suggest you start off by telling her you do, and having lots of cuddes...we used to talk about things in bed all cuddeld up...but lucy does like to fall asleep on me!!...

i also think you should tell her that you don't want to loose her as i found that i was a little insecure, thinking that somone from our community might suit lucy better as you they'd understand....terns out i am now part of the community so i dont have to worry abou that

i know its hard to find the right time to tell her...somthig always comes up, but if she does change the subject just keep going back to it..maybe at dinner or some time your both sat togher with time to talk, stops either of you rushing off...

you know shes lucky...some arn't as honest as you and you are doing the right thing.....hugs

hope it all works out

juniper

xxx

[babykeiff]

There is some excellent advice here, and coming from one who has told his girlfreind then wife, I can say that it is a good idea - only if the reason is not for selfish gain.

Answer this -

1 - Is diapers (a) part of you ( an addition while single

2 - You want to tell (a) she needs to know ( you want her to know all about you

[DLonline]

Thanks every1 for the advice. i think ill wait a little bit longer b4 bringing it up again. i do need tto find an ideal time to talk about it and ill probly need to do it in person so she canat avoid it. by the way thanks affliction for the mommie manuel that will come in handie if this works out the way i hope it does. i dont want to wait to long just enough time to let her catch her breath about it. Thanks for all ur help every1!!!

[Guest why]

Hi. I don't really have anything to relate here. I am a girlfriend to a guy who is a DL. I found out by snooping around in his computer. Not a great way to discover someone elses secrets. Here is my advise. It's weird. I don't fully understand it and honestly don't really like it...ever. I confronted my BF. He lied...denied he had anything to say. After giving him every opportunity to be completely honest and being so sweet and nice, he didn't have the balls to be honest. I was really disappointed. I finally had to tell him that I knew and here was the evidence. Even then, he didn't completely fess up. He said he was only interested for sexual reasons and it related back to an instant when a girl put him in one when he was drunk. Its hard to build trust if you can't be honest. If you cant be honest with your girlfriend, then you need to let her go. She has to know. And honestly....being completely upfront from the beginning can save a lot of tears. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same desires or feelings you have? I wish I would have known a year ago. I wouldn't have made our relationship as serious. He still can't be open with me and I am so willing for him to be. It breaks my heart into millions of pieces. I don't get it...I don't like it. I am willing to understand it but when the other person is not willing to talk...how can I? I am a single mom. I have no one to depend on but myself. Does my son deserve a life without a good role model?? Do I want to have a DL as a role model for my child/ future children?? Is this guy going to show my son how to grow up to be strong, self-sufficient, and indepenedant?? I am not so sure. These traits are not expresse by an individual with DL issues. There is an underlining spychological condition that is not being treated. Obviously my BF is in need of a nurturer. I can't be a mother to him and my son. I only have room to be a mom to my child and pray to God he doesn't feel abondoned or the need to regress to eariier childish behavior. Besides...what happens when people hit this scary line...how will your children think of you?? What happens when there is no standard of responsibility and moral?? What is keeping my BF from becoming a child pornographic pervert?? Will he be turned on by his babies with diapers too?? Scares the hell out of me to feel and think these things. Its really scary what my BF is devulging into from my perspective. How can he be a good father if he can have self restriction and show the moral of adult wisdom, integrity, and honesty. What do I do...?? My advise...be honest from the beginning. DON'T date a girl and hide your desires. SHE WILL KNOW one way or another. People can feel when you are not being honest with them or when things just don't seem to make any sense. I would have preferred to deal with porno...or dirty magazines with naked chicks. I am not willing to deal with this... How can I end my relationship now that we have a life together? It's better to be upfront from the beginning. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be in a relationship and still feel all alone. I hope this gives some insight.

Hey DL,

The first thing you have to ask is why you want her to know. Once you answer this question, it will give you more direction in your efforts. Do you want her to know because the dating is starting to get serious (like we're going ring shopping) and you want to come clean before the relationship goes farther? Are you needing to introduce diapers into your physical relationship in order for it to be fulfilling? If the answer to either of these is yes, then it's time to tell her up front. Here's what I did - I invited my then girlfriend (now wife) to my apartment for breakfast. I told her ahead of time that I had something important to tell her. So after we ate we sat together on the couch, held hands, and I told her honestly about diapers. To my great relief, she was ok with it.

If you're not ready to do this in person yet, your relationship with your girlfriend probably still has some room to grow. If this is the case, I'd give it more time and see if the two of you are still together in a few months.

The biggest thing I find as far as women and diapers is making sure that you don't send any signals that you love the diapers more than you love the woman. If you introduce the diapers as a part of who you are she'll be more likely to accept them than if you introduce diapers as the greatest desire of yours. After all, she's supposed to be your greatest desire.

I hope this is helpful, and I wish you the best.

[Brutal]

My advice... from what you tell me, she absolutely doesn't want to deal with it at this time. Thats not to say she won't later. But frankly, she seems adverse to it. It's not something you are going to be able to overcome. If it's early in your relationship move on. If you are vested, then make sure you've addressed all of her relationship concerns before you keep pressing for your needs.

One more tip, avoid the "Tit for tat" mentality where people do something to get what they want. IE> I dressed up like a pirate and ravaged you like Erol Flynn... so now you have to play baby with me. If she feels like you aren't doing something because you want to... well... it's not going to be a pretty scene.

Make sure you are careful with this, because if she's shocked about it, she'll likely go to her nearest emotional support base outside the relationship. Which means she's talking to her best girlfriend about it. If you get strange looks from her friends and just can't put your finger on who turned down the thermostat... chances are she spilled it to her friends and asked for advice.

Have fun... and always come from a position of power, confidence and strength. Just cause you want to wear diapers and do some roleplay doesn't mean your a helpless little pussy. Which is good because in general, women don't like weak men (physically, emotionally, financially or mentally).

-Brutal

[Brutal]

One more note... there is an old saying that applies to the "not letting her catch her breath".

"If you force a persons hand, always be prepared for the other one to be curled up in a fist."

Pushy shows a lack of emotional maturity. Don't do it. I know you want this and want to force it to happen. But it's 99% probable that it won't turn out the way you envision. People work very hard to "have their cake and eat it too". Ask any successful daddy or male adult baby, pushy probably isn't the way they got their female into the scene.

-Brutal

[Opie]

Hi. I don't really have anything to relate here. I am a girlfriend to a guy who is a DL. I found out by snooping around in his computer. Not a great way to discover someone elses secrets. Here is my advise. It's weird. I don't fully understand it and honestly don't really like it...ever. I confronted my BF. He lied...denied he had anything to say. After giving him every opportunity to be completely honest and being so sweet and nice, he didn't have the balls to be honest. I was really disappointed. (shortened for brevity)

Why, I hope you find some answers to your questions. The doucebag you were with is not worth your time if he isn't honest, especially after you confronted him. I hope you don't judge the rest of us as you do him. If you stay with him, read around here to get an insight to your questions. As a diaper lover myself and from my point of view, I can see why you would pose the questions, but the AB/DL community at large is safe. Especially if you read the DD intro page. The Admins and Moderators here do a very good job at keeping straight here, and the "family" here, with case of few exceptions of the fly-by wackos, is friendly and reasonable.

I hope you hang around for a little while if only to show that not all of us AB/DL are creepy.

Enjoy.

[curiositykilledthecat]

most of us are well mannered and reltively normal individuals. I often wonder why people are so afraid of kinks? If your boyfriend even after being confronted couldn't own up, you deserve better.

[diaperedgod]

You can't really expect her to understand... I mean do you understand why you wear diapers? You can only hope that she cares for you enough to accept it. You just freaked her out. Give her a few days and I bet she'll contact you, and probably have some questions. When or if that happens, remember not to push it on her to hard, give her some space, don't ask her to wear them, or change you, or parade around in a soggy diaper for her. It's important to let her come around at her own pace and she'll be more likely to get involved and possibly decide to explore the AB/DL world if you aren't the one always taking about it.

[curiositykilledthecat]

sorry, meant girlfriend

[sarah_ab]

Geesh, you told her, so clearly SHE KNOWS... so whats the big deal? she knows and shes still with you.. so why not just drop it. . .

i mean the worst is over, you told her and she didn't reject you. JUST BE HAPPY FOR THAT.

if she wants to know more SHE will bring it up. You did your part, the balls in her court.. leave it that way, dont try to steal it back from her.

[leroy t fudpucker]

Hi. I don't really have anything to relate here. I am a girlfriend to a guy who is a DL. I found out by snooping around in his computer. Not a great way to discover someone elses secrets. Here is my advise. It's weird. I don't fully understand it and honestly don't really like it...ever. I confronted my BF. He lied...denied he had anything to say. After giving him every opportunity to be completely honest and being so sweet and nice, he didn't have the balls to be honest. I was really disappointed. I finally had to tell him that I knew and here was the evidence. Even then, he didn't completely fess up. He said he was only interested for sexual reasons and it related back to an instant when a girl put him in one when he was drunk. Its hard to build trust if you can't be honest. If you cant be honest with your girlfriend, then you need to let her go. She has to know. And honestly....being completely upfront from the beginning can save a lot of tears. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same desires or feelings you have? I wish I would have known a year ago. I wouldn't have made our relationship as serious. He still can't be open with me and I am so willing for him to be. It breaks my heart into millions of pieces. I don't get it...I don't like it. I am willing to understand it but when the other person is not willing to talk...how can I? I am a single mom. I have no one to depend on but myself. Does my son deserve a life without a good role model?? Do I want to have a DL as a role model for my child/ future children?? Is this guy going to show my son how to grow up to be strong, self-sufficient, and indepenedant?? I am not so sure. These traits are not expresse by an individual with DL issues. There is an underlining spychological condition that is not being treated. Obviously my BF is in need of a nurturer. I can't be a mother to him and my son. I only have room to be a mom to my child and pray to God he doesn't feel abondoned or the need to regress to eariier childish behavior. Besides...what happens when people hit this scary line...how will your children think of you?? What happens when there is no standard of responsibility and moral?? What is keeping my BF from becoming a child pornographic pervert?? Will he be turned on by his babies with diapers too?? Scares the hell out of me to feel and think these things. Its really scary what my BF is devulging into from my perspective. How can he be a good father if he can have self restriction and show the moral of adult wisdom, integrity, and honesty. What do I do...?? My advise...be honest from the beginning. DON'T date a girl and hide your desires. SHE WILL KNOW one way or another. People can feel when you are not being honest with them or when things just don't seem to make any sense. I would have preferred to deal with porno...or dirty magazines with naked chicks. I am not willing to deal with this... How can I end my relationship now that we have a life together? It's better to be upfront from the beginning. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be in a relationship and still feel all alone. I hope this gives some insight.

[leroy t fudpucker]

In reply to your question , I,m am a DL I've married thirty plus years to a beautiful lady.

I have great kids and five grandkids . And I love them very dearly . I have no idea why I

prefur wearing diapers and as many times as I've tried I can't seem to break the habbit.

In saying that my kids never knew of my desire and I've never done anything but teach them

what life is about ,Treat people the way you would like to be treated Always be honest and you

work for everything in life wheather it be for love ,friends ,or material things nothing is

free. And most all Respect from family and friend and that is all earned.

I would really like to say I don't condone his dening the fact he wears diapers . But Not all DL's

sherk their responsibilties as a parent, mentor . My choice of undergaurmet is different than

the norm. I've always used disgression as to when I chose to wear my diapers and never in front

of my family. But I do wish you the best of luck and I hope He does come clean .

If you work it set some ground rules . But you are the one that has to decide

GOOD LUCK

Leroy