Breakups

[Pwy ydy'r tad]

A question for the ladies, please be totally honest.

Have you ever said 'It's not you, it's me' (or words to that effect) and truly meant it?

[Guest Baby-Toa]

i may not be a girl but I have used those words before and meant them.

[sarah_ab]

no. i would be brutally honest...

one guy i said "i dont want to see you anymore, because you completely lied to me about trivial matters, which implies you would also lie to be about important things"

another i said "i dont want to see you anymore because you have horrible personal hygene and i've noticed you dont own a toothbrush"

saying its not you its me is a cop out...

[curiositykilledthecat]

no. i would be brutally honest...

one guy i said "i dont want to see you anymore, because you completely lied to me about trivial matters, which implies you would also lie to be about important things"

another i said "i dont want to see you anymore because you have horrible personal hygene and i've noticed you dont own a toothbrush"

saying its not you its me is a cop out...

I got the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech. What the f*** does that even mean?

[timmyc]

I have used it's not you, it's me on a girl I was sure wouldn't understand the diapers. We got back together a year later. I still had some reservations, it got to a point where I had to tell her straight up at any consequence. she was very confused at first, but accepting, took a little time but she took quite well to the idea of diapers, actually preferred wearing to seeing me in them. We lived nappily ever after for about 5 years as man & wife until financial concerns and alcohol destroyed our relationship.

[timmyc]

I got the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech. What the f*** does that even mean?

I thought I invented that one

[curiositykilledthecat]

I still have no idea what the hell that means. Women suck!

[babykeiff]

'Its not you, its me...'

'I love you, but am not in love with you....'

'We should stay freinds....'

'I can't really commit to you at the moment...'

'I love you, I want everything to stay the same except the boyf/girlf thing...'

'You're a great XX, but at the moment I have too much baggage....'

'I think you love me more than I love you....'

'Maybe we have too much incommon, we are too alike to....'

.... and there are thousands more. Every one of them, thank yourself if you ever hear them. It means that the person who is initiating the breakup has huge commitment issues. They cannot commit to anyone or anything, and on your wedding day (if you were fooling enought to propose/accept), they are already planning the divorce.

[timmyc]

But isn't better if one has commitment issues to break thinks off rather then keep stringing someone along and risk a stronger emotional attachment that won't work in the long run. Is it always a commitment issue? Maybe two people just aren't right for each other. Isn't that what dating is? Meeting people, learning about them and eventually finding the one. Breakups are not the end of the world, just a good indicator the other is not the one you are meant to be with.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Yeah both exes had huge commitment issues. Most recent girl i hung out with didn't even have the respect to say this ain't working, she just ignored me. I called once and haven;t since figured if she wants to talk she can call me. We weren't dating we just hung out twice. Saying it isn't going to work is not a big deal, just don't be a stupid bitch and blow me off. I'm a nice guy, not a doormat.