The Vending Machine Game

[freswith]

Machine groans and belches.

Insert antacid tablets.

[Bettypooh]

Machine gives baseball signed by Al Kaline

Inserts dead Alkaline Battery (Obviously not an Energizer)

[Baby Brian]

Machine recharges the Duracell battery. And gives it back.

Inserts a new AMD quad core 3.5 Mhz processor.

(actually I was thinking more of Sean Connery, Anthony Hopkins, or Hugh Laurie [when he's not playing an American on House, M.D.]- not the dialect but the accent which is distinctly British just like how Southern, Northern, or Californian accents can all carry the same general accent in the UK. I'm not trying to disrespect, just pointing out that scones aren't exactly mainstream American)

(Ha I get it, clam chowda... However; being from the north I prefer to chew on proper enunciation)

[underwhere]

Spits out 4 apple cores.

Inserts Windows (any version).

[freswith]

Machine turns blue, locks up completely, and blows its top.

Insert "softwear" plastic pants

[Bettypooh]

Gets even softer silk panties, non-plastic

Inserts painted Brassiere w/ large conical shape cups, purported to have been worn by Jayne Mansfield and sold on Ebay for 1.5 million Kronen

[:dlb]

machine models and says finally some support.

insert high heels.

[BabyJune]

Machine saws off heels and turns the shoes into a more appropriate pair of Mary Janes.

Inserts a pair of pink Hello Kitty socks

[underwhere]

Machine sneezes. (It is allergic to kitties.)

Inserts box of tissues.

[kd4tgc]

Gets a box of tissues.

Insert mixed case bambinos.

[Baby Brian]

Machine returns Bambinos (very much used).

Inserts a case of Abena's.

[:dlb]

spits em out and says too small

insert empty baby bottle.

[underwhere]

spits out very hungry (and crying) baby.

inserts pacifier

[freswith]

Machine spits out pacifier and pukes.

Thump machine on back and slip in a 1/4 flask of a decent 12-year-old single malt whisky

[:dlb]

machine falls asleep

insert lullaby

[Baby Brian]

Machine begins to snore.

Inserts red bull energy drink.

[:dlb]

spits it out, yuck

insert hershey bar

[PeytonJ]

Spits out a tiny elf that knows spanish and is going whacko from the chocolate<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Inserts a heartless naive bitch</div>

[Baby Brian]

Machine marries bitch for her money then immediately divorces her and kicks her back out again.

Inserts bill for divorcing the two.

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out court decision in favor of the woman because that's always the way it happens.

Inserts a copy of the book "Alimony For Dummies."

[:dlb]

machine cries because you think it's dumb.

gives machine a hug.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces a Hershey's kiss.

Inserts cold weather.

[freswith]

Large brass knob on front of machine shrinks, and it issues two iron balls.

Insert warm fleecy diaper cover.

[:dlb]

machine spits out wet diaper cover

insert onesie

[underwhere]

spits out twosie.

inserts silliness.