Are We Destined For A Life Of Secrecy

[Guest diaperguy68]

i've never come across a woman that i feel i can truly trust.. maybe i did once, long ago, but i was too ashamed to admit it (in the diaper denial stage). not that they come by very often.

i think if i told somebody i knew, my mind would constantly worry about them telling other people. i know many of you have "came out" and i really respect that. i am just too shy a person to do that, unless i guess i can find the right person.

even though its sad, i feel that my only fulfillment in this fetish will be hiring models to wear diapers for me, or even visiting ad/dl nurseries, all of which is not how i was raised... what are your thoughts on this?

[Guest YkDave]

im in the same boat as you...

I would really like to 'come out' but am too afraid of what may happen... It sucks, and it really eats me up to be hiding this from everyone, if not my parents, but my girlfriend...

[DiaperedEntropy]

Well, I figure its going to come out eventually, so long as I keep doing it. Wether it'll actually be acknowledged(in my family, alot of things are left unsaid) is another question. But once it does come out, it'll be something of a load off. I've always been the kind of person to not give a shit what people think if they judge me instantly anyway. I don't need friends like that, and my family has alot more serious issues than what fetishes I indulge in. That said, I also don't see a need to bring out my private life myself, and I haven't had much in the way of long term relationships lately so i'm not sure how i'd handle that.

As for models and nurseries and the like, any sort of sexual experience without at least some love might as well be masturbation. Thats always been my view on it.

[BriGuy]

Well if you have that mind frame then that is what you will get. Its a self fulfilling prophecy if you tell yourself you can't do something or wont experience something than that is how its gonna be. Most women want someone who is confident in themselves. That is usually the first draw. Work on self confidence then women will be easier to find. No one wants to date a mopey person who is down on themselves or so introverted that they have to lead the way. That being said, once you work on confidence sharing your diaper side will become easier. Of all the women I have told this to 100 percent have been supportive, curious, and got involved with me.

As for other people finding out chances are the more people you tell the more people will hear. Its either all the way in the closet or slowly leaking out. In all honesty the more people hear the more understanding they will be and the more support everyone will have. So get out the closet and be proud of who you are.

Quit with the pity party, hold your head up high and realize that you are a unique interesting individual that has something to offer for someone.

~Brian

[Repaid1]

Brian is right, I've said it a hundred times before. And BriGuy can back me up on this. I told my now wife who knew nothing of "us" and she totally accepted. Brian was the same not to long ago, found a girl who knew nothing of of scene. She totally accepted him as well. The thing is gang, be you, and know who you are first. You all seem to make this a big deal, trust me it isn't. You wonder what it feels like to have your diaper changed by a woman who loves you?? I don't even think about it anymore, it's just a normal thing for me and pretty much has been for over 25 years. My wife changes me everyday a couple of times and just thinks as though it's normal.

Don't think of it as a I'm weird kind of thing..don't think that you MUST find a girl that knows about this kind of thing, I can assure you the chances of that are pretty slim. However I can tell you, I have met a girl in one night in the past that you could call a one night stand. Unlike what you are thinking, she instantly became a babysitter or girlfriend because she found out about me. It's all about you and how you are and carry yourself.

Seriously the 20+ girls over the years that saw me in a diaper just accepted it. Not a lot of judgment or even hard feelings when we went our separate ways. Only One went over the top and "outed" me. Even so as bad as it sounds and was, I got even more friends and mommies and sitters because of it. Just trust in you, you as a person..let the diaper thing just happen, you might be surprised. In fact I can guarantee it. The only thing that needs to be uptight..is your diaper. Peace guys!!

[ArtemisEnterri]

That's easy for you to say Repaid.

I told my wife about my interests the night I first met her (back in 92). In the beginning of our relationship (after she moved in with me in 94) she seemed to be okay with it (but I didn't press the matter or bring it up much, cuz at the time I didn't even own any diapers). Over the years we had some diaper play, but usually it was me diapering her because she is a bedwetter (due to an underdeveloped bladder) she wouldn't let me wear very often saying "you don't need them". Then around the end of 02 start of 03, something changed in her mind about the whole thing and she refused to wear any "protection" in bed, and would freak out if she caught me looking at the diaper aisle in stores. When I've asked her about it since her attitude changed, she says that she thought my interest in diapers was a "phase" I'd "grow out of" and she became so closed-minded on the subject (with statements of "Diapers should only be worn by people with a medical NEED" and "Anyone who wears diapers for fun is a sick, perverted freak"). She even tries to say that my interest in diapers is so I can tease her about her bladder problems, but I told her about my interests YEARS before the first moment I discovered she was a wetter.

With my current situation, I have to keep my DL side secret from the rest of my family.

[sarah_ab]

telling anyone you care about a secret about you is hard. it doesn't matter if the secret is sexual fetish related, or has to do with a traumatic experience, something you enjoy doing in your free time or embarassed about.. anything...

its going to be hard.... and while yes you need to be able to trust the person you are telling, i feel that for me personally it also comes to down to how comfortable i am with myself about this thing..

I have many other sexual interests, and i discovered over the many years i have had these interests and been sexually active, if i am not comfortable with myself enjoying this, i'm not able to tell my partner this is something i'm interested in.

i can't speak to diapers persay, because i met my boyfriend/daddy of three years on diapermates... could always try that before hiring a hooker.

[babykeiff]

I have replied many times on this topic or variations of same - 'To tell or not to tell' and I have to agree with repaid1. Every woman I told accepted it, but it was only after I accepted it in myself.

To me, a secret is denial and deception, and I can't deceive someone I am supposed to love and care for. I wouldn't feel right about that. Yes- there are certain secrets that you keeo from your significant other - ie the secret party you are planning, but everything else, you need to talk about it.

Consider this - you have a relationship with this person for 20 years, and everything in the relationship is perfect, and then you find out that before he/she met you, he/she was living in a different state/country and is wanted for fraud. How would you feel - could you trust him/her ever again? I sincerely doubt it. That little bit of information is a huge mountain to climb, and still even after another 20 years, you still would be cautious - yes? Change the senario, within the first week or so, before you got involved, he/she told you that he/she was wanted for fraud in someother country.

[PhilDL]

This fetish/lifestyle comes with a hefty cross to carry. Not only is it difficult to discuss with a vanilla, even those in the BDSM community are taking by surprise sometimes with diapers.

Since the love/desire/comfort of diapers for me goes back to at least age 4, I know this is an important part of me. Finding a woman or friends has always been difficult or impossible. I don't think diapers are at fault on the surface but if a lady came across I would be in a tough place. As a typical guy I know if I found a 'super model' girlfriend, I could toss the diapers aside for a few months but they would need to resurface even with her.

The life of secrecy continues at least for me into death. Lately my health has deteriorated, there have been many issues arising. When I die family members will discover my diapers and many other kinky fetishes! For that reason I fear death even more. I certainly hope that when death comes knocking I can get advance warning to get rid of everything. Some say why should you care, you're gone, but for me this is what they will remember me by.

A couple of years ago the subject of leaving a note with your stash came up here in the DD forum. I borrowed someones note and edited to my needs. So in my tall office type cabinet I have this letter taped inside the door, here is what I wrote:

Please keep this discovery to yourself.

The fact that you have stumbled upon this hidden stash of diapers means that I may have died unexpectedly or that I

[BriGuy]

This fetish/lifestyle comes with a hefty cross to carry. Not only is it difficult to discuss with a vanilla, even those in the BDSM community are taking by surprise sometimes with diapers.

Since the love/desire/comfort of diapers for me goes back to at least age 4, I know this is an important part of me. Finding a woman or friends has always been difficult or impossible. I don't think diapers are at fault on the surface but if a lady came across I would be in a tough place. As a typical guy I know if I found a 'super model' girlfriend, I could toss the diapers aside for a few months but they would need to resurface even with her.

The life of secrecy continues at least for me into death. Lately my health has deteriorated, there have been many issues arising. When I die family members will discover my diapers and many other kinky fetishes! For that reason I fear death even more. I certainly hope that when death comes knocking I can get advance warning to get rid of everything. Some say why should you care, you're gone, but for me this is what they will remember me by.

A couple of years ago the subject of leaving a note with your stash came up here in the DD forum. I borrowed someones note and edited to my needs. So in my tall office type cabinet I have this letter taped inside the door, here is what I wrote:

Please keep this discovery to yourself.

The fact that you have stumbled upon this hidden stash of diapers means that I may have died unexpectedly or that I

[babykeiff]

This fetish/lifestyle comes with a hefty cross to carry. Not only is it difficult to discuss with a vanilla, even those in the BDSM community are taking by surprise sometimes with diapers.

Since the love/desire/comfort of diapers for me goes back to at least age 4, I know this is an important part of me. Finding a woman or friends has always been difficult or impossible. I don't think diapers are at fault on the surface but if a lady came across I would be in a tough place. As a typical guy I know if I found a 'super model' girlfriend, I could toss the diapers aside for a few months but they would need to resurface even with her.

The life of secrecy continues at least for me into death. Lately my health has deteriorated, there have been many issues arising. When I die family members will discover my diapers and many other kinky fetishes! For that reason I fear death even more. I certainly hope that when death comes knocking I can get advance warning to get rid of everything. Some say why should you care, you're gone, but for me this is what they will remember me by.

A couple of years ago the subject of leaving a note with your stash came up here in the DD forum. I borrowed someones note and edited to my needs. So in my tall office type cabinet I have this letter taped inside the door, here is what I wrote:

Please keep this discovery to yourself.

The fact that you have stumbled upon this hidden stash of diapers means that I may have died unexpectedly or that I'm physically or mentally disabled. You will also find other relative items among my possessions and I'll ask for you to be the one you will take the lead to look first before anyone else.

While I have moved on or been left incapacitated, the revelation that I too had human frailties and fetishes would only bring hardship to others. Nothing would be served by revealing this discovery and so I am asking you to do what you can to keep it a secret.

I realize that this is a burden, one unfairly placed upon you by being the unlucky one to find these things. If you find it helpful, you are welcome to share this with people who never knew me.

For some, diapers are a physical need, whether due to age or injury. For others, like me, they were an emotional need. I spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out why I had such needs, and exactly what it was about diapers that started them, but never really solved the mystery. All I know is that they offered me comfort, feelings of security, and solace when I didn't feel strong enough to face the world unprotected.

This desire may seem to be very odd and even perverted. However my first recall of this desire goes back to when I was only 4. It may be odd but it's also very innocent. Many people have this need. If you need to know more you'll find it on the internet

At this point all I can offer you in exchange for your discretion is my thanks and the assurance that you have done the right thing.

Thanks,

Phil

So all I can hope is that one person opens this cabinets and follows through with my wishes. However on my computer and other places like my bedroom there are traces of my fetishes.

Funny though, if I got advance notice I would be able to get rid of everything but diapers! I trained myself years ago to wet while asleep. So I'll get rid of baby diapers and babyish plastic pants.

Bottom line, if you meet someone try to break free of the shackles of secrecy!

Phil

Phil,

you have an advantage in that you have worded your thoughts about thios interest. The next step is having the confidence and trust in your significant other to show it to them while you are still alive.

[PhilDL]

Hence the problem, I have no significant other!

Phil,

you have an advantage in that you have worded your thoughts about thios interest. The next step is having the confidence and trust in your significant other to show it to them while you are still alive.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Meh, secrets aren't really a bad thing, however they aren't something to keep from your significant other.