Remembering Heidi Lynn

[Sissy Tami]

i only registered to this site because of this story. i had the great pleasure of meeting Heidi Lynn at the grocery store one morning. I took photos and really found a special sweet person. Kind Honest and genuine. I am startled, horrified, and yet at peace in some strange way for this gentle soul. Please know how heart felt my response to this is and that I for one consider myself fortunate for having met Heidi Lynn.

Christopher Dupont de Nemours

Thank you from all of us for your kindness, civillity, and generosity

1

Tami

[Jorie]

Tami

Please keep us apprised of service arrangements. There are many, many of us who would like to honor this beautiful soul in any earthly way possible.

It seems you are one of the few with access to the precious little information.

I only spoke with him only once. Yes, HIM. When I approached him as HeidiLynn at Fry's I was quite shocked at the MAN I met addressing me back from behind those curled bangs and bonnet. He made me blush.

I later saw that he wrote about meeting me on his website. I was incredibly honored and embarrassed. I wanted so badly to reach out to him. I wanted to know him more. But he did express some mixed feelings of wanting a mommy and/or good friend. I was afraid of the ambiguity. I wish that I hadn't been.

Please, please, please I beg you ... let us know/where/when we can all join to say goodbye to this wonderful soul.

[Saschadzg]

I only spoke with him only once. Yes, HIM. When I approached him as HeidiLynn at Fry's I was quite shocked at the MAN I met addressing me back from behind those curled bangs and bonnet. He made me blush.

Hello Jorie,

It is unfair to talk about transgender people, especially post mortem, with male pronouns. It takes their dignity away. HeidiLynn strived to become a babygirl and I respected that. I will remember her as babygirl.

Babygirl Kvetinka

[Northern_lad]

Is there any news on what caused this tragedy? I was genuinely shocked to read she was only 58 and that 2 weeks passed before anyone became concerned.

[Sissy Tami]

Is there any news on what caused this tragedy? I was genuinely shocked to read she was only 58 and that 2 weeks passed before anyone became concerned.

I have severa thoughts about what may have happend to cause her early departure. I have not wanted to specutlate on it though because I thought it would be inapropreate and the evidence is shakey and inconclusive in any direction you look. I am certain that the head injury from her acident had an impact on what ever happened in the end but other than that I am at a loss for the actual cause.

As for the two weeks that passed there is more evidince for that. The first thing we have to look at are the facts though and they are vague at best. To my knowledge there has been not acutal time off death relased to the public. I know that it was not more than two weeks only because I had a conversation with her on the afternoon of the 12th. And I found out about her passing two weeks later. So we dont actually know how long it was from death to discovery. We can guess from the un-welcomed descriptions given to us by the neighbors thru the media that is was more than a few days.

The next fact that we have to exsamine is that Heidi was a bit of a recluse. She rarely had contact with the nieghbors other than to wave when she was comming or going. In my visits to her I never had any contact with the neighbors at all. She was feeble after her acident and would not get the mail every day. Some times it was three or for days at a time before she would even step out of the house. Keep in mind she had been in the hospital for almost two month from the end of July and into September. Anyone who saw her since that time would not be surprised that she had gone back to the hospital for tests or therapy. For these reasons I do not think poorly of the neigbors, the post man or anyone else who only occasionaly saw her. Her trips outside were sparse enough that not seeing her would be the norm. Frankly we are lucky it was not longer.

It was not uncomon for Heidi and I to go without contact for a month at a time. Other times we would chat several times a week or a day. I was out of town with work when we chated on the 12th and did not even try to contact her until I had returned to town a week later. I got voice mail when I called which was not unusuall because she liked her "Nappy Time" during the day. I did not hear back from her right away which again was not unusual. Some times she did not wake until late and would wait to call me until the next day. When I had not heard from her for a couple of days I called agian and got voice mail. I also sent an email incase she was having trouble with her phone. When I did not hear from her in the next day and a half I started to get worried and called a couple of times to try and reach her. I was preparing for a driving across town to check on Heidi when I made one last call and got the detective from the Phoenix Police Department. My fears were confirmed.

I have wanted to discuss this for some time but have not been able to find the words. This post gave me the oppertunity to do so. The comments are not directed at you "Northern" just useing your points to discuss what I am sure has been on a lot of minds. But these are natural questions to ask and be curious about.

None of this really helps with emotions and traggidy of the loss that is Heidi's passing. For help with that we must remeber the things about her that we admire and were fond of. And set asside our diffrences and predudices.

I don't know if this helps or not but here it is.

Thanks

Tami

[Angela Bauer]

Thank you so much, Darling Tami, for the up-date about our beloved Heidi. You are very brave to share details which must have been painful for you to write.

My own belief is that Heidi is in a better place. She had a long and nice life well lived. It is my loss I did not have the opportunity to have more contact with her. When I first had a meal with Heidi and Kent Perry I was on a temporaty assignment in New York City. At that early stage of my law career I never knew more than a day in advance where I would be. Later in 1991 I married Don. Our home is near Los Angeles but both of us needed to travel extensively on business. A time or two I had other meals with Heidi, at least one including Don. Then sadly despite all sorts of plans. Heidi and I never could manage to be in the same city on the same day.

From all Heidi's e-messages to me and posts I know how much she related to Tami, so I did not worry that Heidi communicated less often with me. Clearly I should have paid closer attention, especially after Heidi was injured last year.

[AutieAB]

I haven't been on DD for quite a while and only just saw this.

I never spoke to her directly except in threads we may have both been part of when I was more active here in the past but like a lot of us, her appearance on Springer was amongst the earliest realisations I had that I wasn't alone in this crazy need of mine and I'll always be grateful for that. The news of Heidi Lynne's death shocks and saddens me a great deal.

I don't think anyone here would argue that as a community, we have a very long way to go before we reach a point where we're widely accepted but without her contribution, we simply wouldn't be where we are today.

RIP...

[nitrous]

Heidy Lynn was a compassionate, dedicated, and insperational person. Wile hiding in the closet, held koach sports games, performed great plays and was a loving and caring father to his children and possibly a loving grand father. Much of her closet life is unknown unfortunately. We do know is that he volunteered his time to help is community as a koach. We know when she came out of the closet she gave a lot of money to help the abdl cause. We shal miss such a curageous individual who spent his/her ife helping others in her/his community may he/she rest in peace with the lord in heaven Ah men. In the name of the fahter the son and the spirit Ah men.

heres part 3 of the thing.

[smarti]

Rest in Peace, Heidi Lynn, I'm sad it had to be this way, but hey

You came out with the state I'm in, back in the dark old day

And all of us here are sad you've been taken away

a true pioneer, to honour her with a little post is the least i could do

and thanks too, to the people who knew her most, we know because of you

It's a long way from Phoenix to world, and I'm glad to have shared some words

smarti xxx

[Northern_lad]

Thankyou Tami fro writing that during this painful time.

You have explained everything well and I understand.

Heidi will live on in our hearts and minds. Her legacy and contribution to our world will live on forever. At times like this, I like to remember the good times and all the happy, joyous moments. That to me keeps them alive in our minds and helps me say goodbye.

Keep strong.

[Mr. Sea Otter]

This is all really sad. Enjoy whatever comes next Heidi, we will miss you.

[Guest MrStickler]

I too came to this board because of the New Times article. It seems HeidiLynn was well loved by many. That New Times article has some nasty comments on it about HeidiLynn. Hopefully some on this board will respond to this evil slander by small minded persons.

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2009-02-05/...-home/#Comments

[Sissy Tami]

I too came to this board because of the New Times article. It seems HeidiLynn was well loved by many. That New Times article has some nasty comments on it about HeidiLynn. Hopefully some on this board will respond to this evil slander by small minded persons.

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2009-02-05/...-home/#Comments

I have had many responses just like yours. I am certain that they have recived or are about to many e-mail and snail mail letters in protest of their insensitivity. I hope that it is a good deal of mail either way! Thanks for taking the time to support Heidi!

Tami

[Jorie]

I received a text message from Tami just when the ship was docking down in Acapulco stating that she hadn't heard any more news from the detective in charge of Heidi's case, and didn't have anything else to pass along.

I thought I would bump this up with that bit, if it means anything. i figure that it's important to keep this up here until more information is available.

Sorry of this bothers anyone, but I figure Heidi deserved it.

qwack

PS Also, a B*I*G thank you to the visitors who have stopped by to add their comments regarding Heidi, The courage to come to a site like this and leave your remembrances and your courteous manner and kind words help a lot, and illustrate that Heidi was a person first, worthy of consideration, regardless of how she dressed,

Thank you again for this.

Square duck

Hey duck, thank you so much for the update. I check here every day to see if there is any news.

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

The wife and I met Heidi at our hotel room while at a Diversity weekend at Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I had my dresses and diapers with me at the time but was not dressed as such. Heidi wanted me to go with her 'on the town' the next day but I declined. I just did not have the courage at the time and am ashamed that I did not show her more support by accompanying her. So much for a former Marine's bravery.

I was impressed with Heidi that she was able to live as she did and wished that I were as brave. Having read these posts and viewed some of the news video, I sadly regret that I did not get to know her better when I had the chance.

I sincerely hope that she is in a better and more accepting place.

She will be missed.

Ruffles

Edited February 21, 2009 by Lil_Miss_Ruffles

[Sissy Tami]

I have some comforting news that I wanted to share with you about Heidi Lynn.

I found out a week ago that Heidi’s family has been notified of her passing and that she is now being taken care of and remembered properly. I got this news via the obituaries in the local paper. I have not had the pleasure of talking to anyone from the family to share our thoughts, concerns, and fondness for Heidi. I hope that they someday understand how she impacted us during the time she shared with us in our community.

The following is the obituary just as it appeared in the local paper.

Windsor, William H.

Died recently at his home in Phoenix. A long-time valley resident, he also lived for may years in New York City, Nashville and Huntsville Alabama. A gifted singer, he starred on Broadway and in tours of “Hair

[Vic]

Thank you so much Tami,

I don't know the best way to honor HeidiLynns legacy, I leave that to other more imaginative people. One thing people can do though if they'd like to know more about her is to visit her web site while it is still up, heidilynnsworld.com.

HeidiLynn wanted people to grow out of the shame they may have felt about being AB or DL, and that's what the site is about. She made it available to anyone, and she wanted all who visited the site to come away with ( hopefully ), a different way of looking at themselves and not being so judgemental of themselves.

Hope of all of us being okay with who we are was the real desire that she had. Being out there 24/7 was a brave life to live, but she was determined to show us that it could be done, you could give up the shame and live life as a real AB. It could be done, and she was the proof of that.

She was accepted by most who met her in public, she often told me how surprised she was that most of her detractors were from the AB/DL community, and that the public really never seemed to have that big of a problem with who she was. I will miss the conversations we've had, she already is a legend in her own time, and she will be missed.

Peace,

Vic

[babyjennie]

Dear Tami, my condolences for the loss of a good friend. I chatted with Heidilynn many times online over the last 10 years, and always found her to be intelligent, witty and well-informed. She was a generous, kind, caring big baby, and I hope she finds a happy place in that big baby Nursery in the sky.

RIP Heidilynn.

Hugs from Baby Jennie in Australia

[Repaid1]

I would suggest that possibly having a day of remembrance every year on the date of her last visit, kind of Heidi Lynn Day in our community

Last Seen: 27th December 2008 - 05:53 PM,

Perhaps a scheduled chat for her friends and those she touched in some small way at 6:00p.m. on Dec. 27th?

[Sissy Baby Angelica]

I will miss heidilynn. Living in Sydney Australia I was not able to meet her in person but I did know her through the internet using our MSN. We would talk for hours and swap pictures with stories of what we had done between our talks. You can see some of the stories of what I did and know how kind hearted she was to me even though we were thousands of miles apart from each other. I will finish this as I started, I will miss heidilynn so much. As I type this my eyes are tearing up thinking of all the lovely conventions we had together.

I will always love her and keep her in my heart.

[PinkSilkyBaby]

There's several different ways you could keep Heidi's site going, or replicate it as a memorial site.

I had only seen her on different news clips or stories online, so I can not, and I will not make any comments about someone I never had contact with.

What I can say is this: Much like her, when her father finally passed on, she felt she could be more open and free about who she really was inside. I recently lost my father on September 19th of 2008 and I immediately reached out to my mother and began being more open and honest about my personal AB side with dear close friends I trust and friends I have made in the North Carolina AB community.

The first thing you should do is visit GoDaddy.com or another domain service and see when her URL subscription runs out. You could also contact whoever her provider was and try to make arrangements to either take over the website domain, or wait until it runs out and get it (the domain) into someone's hands who could rebild the site and keep it going in her memory.

Heidi obviously had a huge following and admiration in the community. Now the community should step up and attempt to keep her website going as a way to show people in the common world how close we all are.

I hope all of you who feel a sense of loss find an inner peace at some point down the road.....

[square_duck]

Sorry for the necro post, as I know there are several people who object to such things, but I figured this had something to offer. Yes it has been over 4 years since Heidi passed away, and there were some unanswered questions about what happened.

In one of my resent posts earlier this evening (PST) (Sissies in the news) I was reminded of Heidi and wanted to back track and find some info and posts, and had to really dig for this thread. The reason being that in my search for "babyman' (Heidi) I came across an article written about her passing back later in 2009 which had a link to the Coroners Autopsy report. I clicked the link and got a PDF file down loaded, which I then read. I attached it below for anyone interested, and I'm hoping that few if anyone finds this in poor taste. The report is somewhat technical, but you can still get an idea of what the finding were as for the cause of death for Heidi, if anyone's interested.

Things happen for a reason, and I figured that I would tie up this small loose thread, and close this out with the coroners findings that Heidi essentially died from cardiac problems AKA "natural causes" if that helps anyone.

She did drink quite a bit, and evidently also had a problem with acid reflux, but I don't know if her accident and head injury played any factor in the end, and maybe we will never know...and maybe it's not important.

Just remembering a friend and important person from the community...and answering questions.

3162055.0.pdf

3162055.0.pdf

[BigC300]

Do we have pictures of Heidi?

http://youtu.be/hn5hKkhSIns

[BigC300]

Heidi is the guy on the right with dark hair. The guy in the center is Tommy of Diaper Pail Friends, "DPF"! If you ever wondered how Heidi could afford the lifestyle, remember Heidi was the heir to a publishing fortune.

[BigC300]

Heidi really enjoyed being on tv...