Breaking Down Baby

[Mean Mommy]

Okay so here's my big dirty secret: I've haven't had the pleasure of breaking a submissive.

My ex and I certainly knew our way around a kinky BDSM AB scene, but things sort of fell apart when I tried to actually reduce him to a helpless blubbering infant. Communication wasn't as strong. He was more combative than cooperative. Which is romantic, but irresponsible when you consider the lengths I had to go to get him to crack. I was scared I would actually hurt him amidst all the sexual torture. And then we broke up. So whatever. I'm not ashamed. Shut up.

Although in my defense I am young. Most people my age are humping women (or men) while fantasizing about men (or women), or haven't experienced an actual orgasm during sex, or are combating some other sexual hang up. So I guess I'm doing pretty good.

Oh but dear god how I dream about actually breaking some delicious helpless slABie. No pretend! No "oh you're so mean (wink)". None of that staged shit! But to actually watch a sub have a psychological breakdown/breakthrough under my hand...what ecstasy! I can feel my insides breaking into a thousand jubilant bubbles if I immerse myself in the details of this fantasy. God I want it so bleeding bad.

Does anyone know how? Could anyone give me any advice? I know communication is a must. Other than that my attempts are fueled by good intentions, sick desires and a lot of alcohol. Has anyone been broken or broken someone else? I would appreciate hearing anything even marginally relevant.

[diaprbayb]

I refused to answer on the grounds that this advise would be used against me.

[beallucanb]

I think first you need to find someone who is willing to used, and take for granted whatever you say is law.

The candidate, must give there life to you, but then you would have the responsability of takeing care of all there needs, I don't think you would find what you want in the person you want.

But if your not picky and are will to take what comes along, I'm sure you will find someone.

[Baby Johnny]

Having broken them, you would not want them any more and they would be of no use to themselves or anyone else. While I can see the desire and ecstasy of doing this, I can't see hurting a person to that point. It can be done, but you would have to spend a lifetime making it up to them with no future ecstasy to even have a chance of being what I would call a decent human being. That is why there are save words in the BDSM world so you don't push someone beyond their limits. You need to give up this dream and find a more realistic one.

[Mean Mommy]

...The candidate, must give there life to you, but then you would have the responsability of takeing care of all there needs, I don't think you would find what you want in the person you want.

But if your not picky and are will to take what comes along, I'm sure you will find someone.

That's pretty depressing advice. Thanks anyway. I think you're getting this wish of mine a little confused though. I don't want a 24/7 slave. I want to push a consenting partner past a psychological breaking point so that he loses all composure and emotional control. I will be there to support him throughout this procedure, which (in it's entirety including the time needed to recover from such a scene) shouldn't last more than several hours, a day at most.

I would only do this with someone I deeply care about. And I would plan to be there for him if he has any related difficulties, but after all is said and done, I would expect him to go back to a full and engaging life without me overseeing him.

Hm. Why don't you think I could find what I want in the person I want? That's strangely pessimistic. I already have found someone who wanted to do this with me, it's just that we weren't going about breaking him in a safe way. Which is why we didn't get anywhere. I'm pretty confident I can find someone again.

Having broken them, you would not want them any more and they would be of no use to themselves or anyone else. While I can see the desire and ecstasy of doing this, I can't see hurting a person to that point. It can be done, but you would have to spend a lifetime making it up to them with no future ecstasy to even have a chance of being what I would call a decent human being. That is why there are save words in the BDSM world so you don't push someone beyond their limits. You need to give up this dream and find a more realistic one.

Tis not so, Johnny boy! I wouldn't discard my babe after breaking him. And I don't understand why this would render him useless to anyone or himself. Would it retard him? No. Would it debilitate him? Hopefully (bwa ha ha!!!), but I'll be there to put the pieces back together. That's the beautiful thing about breaking someone: putting them back together. It's a very nurturing, incredibly intimate process (I assume). I can't think of anything else more loving than that. It's another aspect of breaking a sub that I look forward to savoring.

I don't really like to talk about this (I'm more comfortable being seen as the bitch from hell), but the sadistic pleasure of breaking someone is twofold: first is the delight of witnessing my lover's pain and anguish, second is the chance to pour into my destroyed masochist all the unbridled love and nurturing within me to fix the damage i have caused. In doing so i rebuild my masochist, so that he is mine. After razing his defense mechanisms, his psychological barriers, i am able to love and cherish someone at the peak of his vulnerability. He has nothing that can keep me away from him at this point - no walls, no clothes, no elaborate cognitive structures. He is mine. Completely mine to cherish and adore. That is the beauty of this BDSM practice. It is to love someone so deeply, so intensely, that it cannot be done without crushing the person's intellectual and emotional defenses.

A few subs have spoken to me about this and I get the impression that despite general concerns for safety, other people yearn to be loved in such a manner. Those who have actually done this describe the experience as cathartic. The practice of pushing a sub beyond his/her specified limits is defined in the BDSM community as "edge play". Of course edge play should only be done between two responsible and communicative adults. It's pretty risky stuff. Even so, it has incredible sexual and emotional impact when done right (I assume).

While it is dangerous, breaking somebody shouldn't unhinge a person for life. If it were to have such an effect than I would have grossly misjudged the psychological stability of my boy. Which is possible but rather unlikely. I would assume nothing less than to help my boy fully recover from such a process. Again, that is half the pleasure.

This dream is not unrealistic. It's just incredibly difficult. Besides, I don't give up on dreams and I don't settle.

[enfant]

I think people might be able to answer you a little more coherently if you were more specific about what you mean by the word "break".

To me, "break" has a few different connotations. One is breaking like a dish--after which the thing that's broken has to be painstakingly repaired (and is never as good again afterward) or just thrown away. The other is breaking like a horse--training an animal or person to be docile and manageable (from which we also get the word "housebroken"). It seems neither one of those is what you mean, but prior posters in this thread have taken your meaning to be both of those. So how about telling us specifically what you imagine doing to your boy--without using the word "breaking"--and how you imagine him reacting, and then we'll tell you if it sounds realistic?

From the vague things you've said so far, it sounds as if it is. I know it appeals to me: I suffer from an overabundance of self-control, and I think that's probably common among AB's. (I'm pretty sure it's why I'm an AB, diapers being symbolic of the ultimate loss of self-control.) I have kind of a flat affect most of the time, not showing much emotion in my face or demeanor. I almost never cry, and when I do, it's silent. I would love to have the experience of being pushed to the point of crying like a baby does, out loud, out of control. I can only imagine what it would be like, but I imagine the catharsis would be incredible, an orgasm for the soul. And if that's what you're hoping to help someone achieve, then I'm sure you can find willing and eager partners. But if you're going for something else, then I'm not sure. More specificity, please.

[enfant]

Afterthought... there are a couple of groups for discussing edge play on fetlife.com. You might want to join up and check it out. (FYI, I'm "enfant" there too, you can friend me if you like.)

[sarah_ab]

I think no matter what educational training you have had and what 'life experiences' you have had, at 24 you are NOT ready to be there for the person you 'break.' I hardly think at any age a person can be there for that person.

There is no way for you to know what sort of emotional support this person is going to need and unless you yourself have been broken by someone in the exact same way you are going to break this person and have experienced first hand the emotional trauma you are going to subject someone to, then fully recovered, then you are not ready to support that person.

However, i would recomend doing as much research as possible not about how to 'break' someone, i'm sure you've done that, but about how to help them come back. Talk to as many subs who have been there as possible, getting details on what it felt like and what they needed. The more you know, the better equiped you will be if you decide to go through with this.

[Mean Mommy]

I think no matter what educational training you have had and what 'life experiences' you have had, at 24 you are NOT ready to be there for the person you 'break.' I hardly think at any age a person can be there for that person.

There is no way for you to know what sort of emotional support this person is going to need and unless you yourself have been broken by someone in the exact same way you are going to break this person and have experienced first hand the emotional trauma you are going to subject someone to, then fully recovered, then you are not ready to support that person.

However, i would recomend doing as much research as possible not about how to 'break' someone, i'm sure you've done that, but about how to help them come back. Talk to as many subs who have been there as possible, getting details on what it felt like and what they needed. The more you know, the better equiped you will be if you decide to go through with this.

Hhhhrg...

You say 24 is not an age where someone can be there for a broken submissive. You then say there is no age where one can be mature enough to break a submissive. So it sounds like you're saying that it is not humanly possible for anyone to provide adequate support for a broken submissive.

I have to disagree with you on a few points. First, a BDSM scene is not the equivalent of emotional trauma. Things in a BDSM scene may look emotionally traumatic, but that's where the similarities end. A BDSM scene is controlled, whereas an emotionally traumatic event is not. When I was abandoned by a loved one I couldn't call out "Squirrel Alert! Squirrel Alert!" and said loved one rushed to me saying "what's wrong? is everything okay? are you hurt?" Control is an important difference here. Secondly, there are only consenting partners in a BDSM scene. We all want to do this, or else we would stop. I did not consent when my dog was hit by a car. These are two big elements that keep a BDSM scene safe and controlled and not a traumatic emotional event.

Let's say I want to tie my sub to the ceiling and whip him until a puddle of piss collects on the floor. Even if I tied myself up to the ceiling and emptied my urethra, I doubt I'll be any wiser about how my sub will respond because he is different than I am, ergo we will have different reactions even if we experience the same things. Something like scrubbing toilets may be a pain in the ass to me, but deeply humiliating (and perversely satisfying) to him. This is especially true when it comes to a BDSM scene. I can't relate to my partner's masochism because I am a sadist. I think it hurts, he'll think it's ecstasy. But I can make educated guesses as to what he'll need after a heavy BDSM scene. Some ointment to soothe any wounds, and a great heaping of TLC, which I will be happy to give.

I think it's generally dubious to advise anyone to emotionally traumatize themselves for any reason, whatsoever.

I have read many conflicting things about breaking a sub. I don't think there are any qualified authorities out there on this matter, it's all peoples words against other peoples words. In the end I can only decide what's best for me and the person I love, and choose what advice to take from there.

I wasn't really ready for so many people to try to talk me out of this. I know it's extreme, but fire-eating is extreme, and there are still people out there who do it. Not everyone is capable of fire-eating, and not everyone should do it. But those who think they have what it takes get together with other fire-eaters and have a grand old time. I think I can do this, I was with someone else who thought he could do it too. And I'm sure I will be able to find another willing partner again. We're both ready and aware of the dangers, and we place safety above all else. If we are safe and responsible, and this would mean a lot to the both of us, why should we not do it?

I want to love this way. This deeply. This extreme. I know I am young but it only makes me happy to know that I have a lifetime ahead of me to explore and finely tune the ways to love another human being. My age shouldn't stop me from doing something I feel strongly about. Should I live a lie until I've reached the age others have decided is emotionally mature to handle such intense passion and unequivocal trust? I so rarely feel - really feel - anything. It's as if a valium has been wedged into my heart. I want to live. But how can one live when everything is easy and meaningless? Perfection is easily obtained. As is love, if I cared for it. I want to feel. And if that means squeezing life a little harder, delving into the twisted and obscene for that moment of pure white something then so be it. Perhaps in your world pain is a constant undercurrent that must be kept dormant, but in my world I feel nothing.

Sorry, I had to scratch the oratorical itch.

[Mean Mommy]

I think people might be able to answer you a little more coherently if you were more specific about what you mean by the word "break".

To me, "break" has a few different connotations. One is breaking like a dish--after which the thing that's broken has to be painstakingly repaired (and is never as good again afterward) or just thrown away. The other is breaking like a horse--training an animal or person to be docile and manageable (from which we also get the word "housebroken"). It seems neither one of those is what you mean, but prior posters in this thread have taken your meaning to be both of those. So how about telling us specifically what you imagine doing to your boy--without using the word "breaking"--and how you imagine him reacting, and then we'll tell you if it sounds realistic?

From the vague things you've said so far, it sounds as if it is. I know it appeals to me: I suffer from an overabundance of self-control, and I think that's probably common among AB's. (I'm pretty sure it's why I'm an AB, diapers being symbolic of the ultimate loss of self-control.) I have kind of a flat affect most of the time, not showing much emotion in my face or demeanor. I almost never cry, and when I do, it's silent. I would love to have the experience of being pushed to the point of crying like a baby does, out loud, out of control. I can only imagine what it would be like, but I imagine the catharsis would be incredible, an orgasm for the soul. And if that's what you're hoping to help someone achieve, then I'm sure you can find willing and eager partners. But if you're going for something else, then I'm not sure. More specificity, please.

Sorry it took me so long to answer this, I had to think about this one.

I couldn't tell you what I meant by "break" unless I told you what I suspected went on inside another person's head. So I'll tell you what I think goes on inside a person's head: I think that underneath it all people are beautiful and vibrant creatures, just like every little kid you know. But due to a lifetime of pain and disappointments, most people are compelled to pave over that vulnerable beauty with indifference and a wealth of other psychological defenses. It's these defenses - these falsehoods - I picture shattering like plates when I say (type) the phrase "breaking a submissive." For example, you may have employed a stringent form of self-control when you realized that letting yourself go can open you up to the humiliation of being stupid, wrong, a fool. You may wear your self-control like a body of armor, reinforcing it with rationalizations like "I didn't make a mistake, I followed the rules, therefore it was an accident." If you no longer make mistakes, you no longer look like a fool. Or so the reasoning goes. The only drawback is that an amalgamation of psychological armor doesn't allow one the pleasure of enjoying a spontaneous and carefree life. It might have locked you into a predetermined existence, destined to look out onto those fools frolicking in a meadow with a mixture of superiority and envy.

Those are the type of things I want to break. Those falsehoods that were erected by fear and perpetuated by pain. They hold people back from honest emotion. They paralyze them. And I refuse to let these psychological defenses keep me from the person I love. I will not allow it to subsist between me and whoever bears the brunt of my beastly affections. And while I have the capacity to unravel it carefully, lovingly. It is stubborn, and it will persist no matter how many sweet nothings you pour into a lover's ear. Sometimes it seems the only way to quell a lover's doubting heart is to overwhelm him with the raging passion of your own.

In short yes, I intend to help my SO achieve an orgasm of the soul.

And, although the pain appeals to me, it is nothing compared to the thought of a sobbing, raw submissive stripped of all pretenses and reduced to his most elemental self. I am motivated by the vision of my lover exhibiting honest emotion. The pain is ultimately a necessity, a means to get there.

[Baby Bethany]

No be mean to us you horwible, nasty mommy.........no bweaking babies!!

Beth

[rickibrat2]

guess it is about how far you want to break them down,

brain washing works good reprograming works good, both can be done in under 7 days if you are willing

hypno works great as does not leave the damage of the first too

[pax87]

Ho humm...