The Dark Side Of Regression

[tris]

Right, and I think that was the point MM was trying to make -- whatever our earliest relationship was, however it was that we learned what Love really feels like, we seek out in our adult lives. Whether we're aware of it or not, we seek to experience the same intensity with another as we did with our parents, however brief. A a corollary, those who experienced neglect, maltreatment and trauma also have the same (and in some cases, extremely higher) tendencies.

This also explains why those same people stay together for so long -- No other choice. As a child, you didn't have a choice to just pickup and leave. You didn't have anyone else. Complacency takes over, and sooner or later, we accept the situation and do what humans do best -- adapt. We adapt to be happy, and ultimately, to survive. As children, we're more or less on auto-pilot until we're old enough to know the difference, and then, we seek out another to satisfy the need for what it is our subconscious originally defined as 'love'.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Shit I just hate shopping. Ladies, could you please understand we do not enjoy doing this and it does not count as spending time together. At least I made my first ex model the clothes for me(not nude or anything demeaning just figured hey let me see what i'm buying.)

[PampersPete]

Men and women shop VERY differently!

I'm a man. If I need a hat,I go to the store,look for a hat that I like and buy the motherfucker. My GF wants a hat,she'll buy it after going to 30 stores.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I only shop when I need or want something, women window shop, i don't get it. why look if you can't buy it. That's also why I never got strip clubs. Look but don't touch? I don't see the point of paying somebody to give you blue balls.

[sarah_ab]

oh god i HATE window shopping. In fact the only time i enjoy shopping is if its for books, or wii and ds games. Other wise i try as hard as possible to NOT do it. When i needed some new clothes for our vacation, my daddy practically had to drag me to the store.

so guys just know.. not ALL girls are like that... if i'm gonna window shop, i do itonline in my own time.

[Backindiapers]

Umm....Wow MM you sound straight outta the movie Silence of the Lambs! LMAO! You are cold calculated and .....well scary as hell. But I will give you this, you are extremely well spoken and know exactly what you want. I also find that I'm fascinated by it. But alas it would never work between us. I'm married, sorry. I know you'll go on without me and learn to love again.

So what about those cookies?

[Backindiapers]

also, look for a girl with vast reserves of passion. people devoted to a cause or who excel in a particular area, be it politics, art, or artificial insemination of miniature poodles, are good candidates. passion is the force that will be turned on you to imprison and adore you if you manage to successfully seduce the girl who has it.

Omg anyone watch Clerks? The artificial insemination just sounded like it. In fact I would bet you love Kevin Smith movies because most have interesting intellectual humor instead of the cliche' slapstick garbage, well besides mallrats but still had its good moments.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Donkey show!!!!!

Sarah you are so awesome! I have to say the only thing worse than shopping for me is being stuck in the elevator with two blonde 40 something year olds who talk, act and try to dress like they're 20. KILL ME NOW! Longest 90 seconds of my life.

[Incomplete Dude]

I just want to point out that there's a difference between talking about power/domination and actually doing it. Myself, I like to indulge in such conversation sometimes. You know, pass myself off as authoritative, somehow above the rest, the narcissist who really is that great, the person no one commands and commands others without them knowing, etc... But it's just bullshit. And though I would never say so, I think it's funny, a joke, like playing the king in a play. The fact that people believe it adds to the amusement.

I guess, I'm just saying, if you want someone with real power over you, look beyond the words.

Myself, I would love someone who knew how to shut down my protests and put me in my place. But they'd have to let me pretend to be in charge and demand my will be done when I feel the need, then quietly wipe it all away like the childish protests they are. It's all part of the game. And a game it is, because even though I may be (vocal) putty in their hands, fundamentally I will always see my partner as an equal. An equal who makes me the child, because I let her, I want it and I want her. The control she brings makes up for the control I lack, which enables me to contribute more to the relationship. Therefore, it is a partnership, not a domination, even if it looks like one. And believe me, I will do my best to deconstruct her personality in turn, and see what I can do fill in the gaps. Kind of like two puzzle pieces coming together. Now I just need to find one that fits, lol.

So as for MM, I guess I appreciate her style, though at the face value of her words, it would be too strong for me. But then, I do think she is exaggerating a bit.

[Vic]

In the court of the king it seems the jester has a lot of power. He can say things to the king that would have everybody elses head on a pike!

Peace,

Vic

[curiositykilledthecat]

He must be a king. How do you know he's a king? He's the only one not covered in shit!

[Vic]

Hey MM, "hit me, hurt me, make me write bad checks".

Peace,

Vic

[Vic]

Or "sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me".

Peace,

Vic

[curiositykilledthecat]

Step on my cubes!!!!

[sarah_ab]

I love that family guy episode!!!

another favourite, stewie flies off the swing and lands in a stroller next to a little girl... says "ohhh i smell a messy diaper......... god why does that turn me on?"

[curiositykilledthecat]

I love that family guy episode!!!

another favourite, stewie flies off the swing and lands in a stroller next to a little girl... says "ohhh i smell a messy diaper......... god why does that turn me on?"

rofl, I always have anawkward laugh whenever I see that episode. The breast milk one is good too.

[Mean Mommy]

I like shopping at second hand thrift stores. It's all about the glory of the hunt. I'm such a cheapskate, ("45 bucks for a shirt?!! does it cure cancer or something?!!") that my SO and family members usually have to drag me into fancy boutique stores...or macy's.

Seth McFarland (McFarlane..?) totally has the hots for his mom. It's all over that show.

I just want to point out that there's a difference between talking about power/domination and actually doing it. Myself, I like to indulge in such conversation sometimes. You know, pass myself off as authoritative, somehow above the rest, the narcissist who really is that great, the person no one commands and commands others without them knowing, etc... But it's just bullshit. And though I would never say so, I think it's funny, a joke, like playing the king in a play. The fact that people believe it adds to the amusement.

I guess, I'm just saying, if you want someone with real power over you, look beyond the words.

Myself, I would love someone who knew how to shut down my protests and put me in my place. But they'd have to let me pretend to be in charge and demand my will be done when I feel the need, then quietly wipe it all away like the childish protests they are. It's all part of the game. And a game it is, because even though I may be (vocal) putty in their hands, fundamentally I will always see my partner as an equal. An equal who makes me the child, because I let her, I want it and I want her. The control she brings makes up for the control I lack, which enables me to contribute more to the relationship. Therefore, it is a partnership, not a domination, even if it looks like one. And believe me, I will do my best to deconstruct her personality in turn, and see what I can do fill in the gaps. Kind of like two puzzle pieces coming together. Now I just need to find one that fits, lol.

So as for MM, I guess I appreciate her style, though at the face value of her words, it would be too strong for me. But then, I do think she is exaggerating a bit.

Mmmr...

Well, I think you have to cut me a little slack. I'm in an ABDL forum. So I'm going to talk about my kinks and seduction techniques here because I have the cushion-y blanket of anonymity to protect me. If you met me IRL, I wouldn't turn to you and say "are you prepared to be psychologically hacked and raped, little boy?" I present myself various different ways, depending on who I'm interacting with. I don't have this dominatrix persona that I thrust into the face of everyone I meet. That would be disastrous.

But beneath all the facades i present, i function like this. it's the motherboard of my neurosis. i can't discuss it with anyone IRL because they would be severely disturbed/horrified by me, so I use this forum as a place to acknowledge and analyze a part of myself that can't be openly expressed in polite society.

I agree that there is a vast difference between talking about power and acting out power. But it really isn't hard to act out the sort of power play I'm talking about. It's a matter of laying traps, luring in one's pray. There is no open show of superiority unless that's what the situation calls for. It's a big psychological chess game. Things are more "thought through" than acted out. Love is applied with the utmost discretion.

Also, even though I say it's a big chess game, I never said I was a master of it. I have fucked up (like with the whole "clingy" business..) and made mistakes. I have failed more than once and have tried my best to learn from these failures.

I would be miserable if my relationship entirely consisted of dominating someone else (that would be exhausting...and boring after a while). I am only speaking about one layer of the ideal relationship. There should be more to a relationship than freudian mind games. I too want a partner, an ally, an enemy, a friend. I need someone to constantly challenge me, that's the only way I'll ever be able to stay in love. I could only love someone that I first admire. Someone who can outwit me, outplay me; someone who refuses to be walked all over. Someone who is superior to me in many different ways. Someone who demands the very best of me. Someone I must earn.

This regressive mindgame is only one tactic I have devised in the all-out war that is true love.

Hey MM, "hit me, hurt me, make me write bad checks".

Peace,

Vic

>D

What do men like you look like?

[curiositykilledthecat]

Failure is only failure when you give up.

Oay that is my cheesy quote of the day.

[BriGuy]

Interesting view point on the topic. I follow your reasoning well and can interject myself into your scenario. My mother split when I was 2 years old to pursue a life of sex drugs and rock and roll. Subsequently when I regress I feel my appropriate age to be right around 2 or 3. The interesting thing about this situation is I have turned into the caretaker for those in my life. I want so bad to be taken care of, cared for etc but I put aside my own wants and desires to make those around me feel taken care of. Then I keep my mouth shut and get angry that I am the one taking time to do all these things while I receive nothing in return.

Under a Freudian thought process if we miss one of our stages in growing we are doomed to a lifetime cycle of repeating that stage. Family dynamics definitely play a big roll in shaping our play dough brains at a young age.

A relationship that included regression of either or both partners is definitely a relationship that has more to offer for each person. Just like a BDSM relationship has a tendency to be deeper because a large amount of trust goes into partaking of that lifestyle. I think the vast majority of the vanilla world is missing out on a deeper connection with their partner by blocking out these carnal feelings and desires 99 percent of us have. By nature humans are curious creatures, but society has stifled our ability to act on our curiosity because they make us feel its "wrong."

For being a 24 year old woman you definitely have an interesting and well rounded view on things. Too bad your in New York, would be fun to talk about this stuff over a cup of coffee.

[sarah_ab]

I wouldn't turn to you and say "are you prepared to be psychologically hacked and raped, little boy?"

hahah sorry this just made me laugh... thinking of what would happen if you did just turn to some random guy on the bus, or at the coffee shop and say that!!!!!

[curiositykilledthecat]

lol, would probably end with a broken jaw and dismembered nose or someone screaming into the sunset. would be funny either way.

[Vic]

I like shopping at second hand thrift stores. It's all about the glory of the hunt. I'm such a cheapskate, ("45 bucks for a shirt?!! does it cure cancer or something?!!") that my SO and family members usually have to drag me into fancy boutique stores...or macy's.

>D

What do men like you look like?

Hunchbacked, clubfooted, cockeyed, with wild tuffts of hair sticking out of our waxy ears. But people do say "well you've got a great personality", which is good because I have so many of them. I still have my sense of humor though.

Peace,

Vic

[Mean Mommy]

Under a Freudian thought process if we miss one of our stages in growing we are doomed to a lifetime cycle of repeating that stage. Family dynamics definitely play a big roll in shaping our play dough brains at a young age.

A relationship that included regression of either or both partners is definitely a relationship that has more to offer for each person. Just like a BDSM relationship has a tendency to be deeper because a large amount of trust goes into partaking of that lifestyle. I think the vast majority of the vanilla world is missing out on a deeper connection with their partner by blocking out these carnal feelings and desires 99 percent of us have. By nature humans are curious creatures, but society has stifled our ability to act on our curiosity because they make us feel its "wrong."

For being a 24 year old woman you definitely have an interesting and well rounded view on things. Too bad your in New York, would be fun to talk about this stuff over a cup of coffee.

Y'know, i'm not really bothered that i have these quirks that can be explained with Fruedian analysis. if i'm doomed to replay this role, or other roles related to my past traumas, then, y'know, whatever. this is who i am and i accept it. i even like it because i can understand how i can be deeply fulfilled. i'm not exactly wracked with envy when i spot a completely sane, issues-free couple splitting a milkshake or whatever it is that vanilla couples do. i like being this way and i like finding other cracked weirdos like me. i completely agree that relationships with BDSM, regression, or the like have something deeper to offer. perhaps it's something most normal people are not interested in exploring but, y'know, their loss.

thank you, and i'm actually no longer in New York. when you're screaming back at the ranting homeless psychopaths on every street corner, that's when you know it's time to leave. ("FUCK YOU!!! Your shoes are cardboard, Nostrodamus!!!)

hahah sorry this just made me laugh... thinking of what would happen if you did just turn to some random guy on the bus, or at the coffee shop and say that!!!!!

you would think it would be horrendous, right? but i've actually gotten more guys interested when i say things like "you wouldn't like me, unless you like suffering." it really gets men riled up. either because i'm playing hard to get or because i've touched upon their latent masochism. that's not the first thing out of my mouth (i save the really freaky stuff for the second date), but i do get good results when i begin with something deranged.

me: what's your favorite color

object of interest: blue

me: blue's a stupid color

and boom! two hour long debate with hot guy about color preferences. ending with a passionate stare and "we have to talk more, here's my number. i will convince you that blue is superior to green."

Hunchbacked, clubfooted, cockeyed, with wild tuffts of hair sticking out of our waxy ears. But people do say "well you've got a great personality", which is good because I have so many of them. I still have my sense of humor though.

Peace,

Vic

LOLZ! you just reminded me of how my friends and i used to do the humpback swagger around high school (always remember to drag one foot!). oh, how the boys loved it. what with their staring, and slowly backing towards the closest exit.

[Vic]

LOLZ! you just reminded me of how my friends and i used to do the humpback swagger around high school (always remember to drag one foot!). oh, how the boys loved it. what with their staring, and slowly backing towards the closest exit.

Mean Mommy, you forgot the maniacal laughter!! The effect is totally blown without cackling like a demented freak!!

I do so love reading your posts though dear girl, you sound a little like me (in some ways, waaaay different in others). My friends have all said that it's like I have 16 different personalities, but it's only one, with many different facetts.

Peace,

Vic