The Dark Side Of Regression

[Mean Mommy]

I discovered how to do something really, really powerful and wondered what you guys thought of it.

So, there are plenty of people on here who are into regression. Personally I'm a bit of a Freudian and think everyone regresses in serious romantic relationships to model what they had with their mother, father, or another significant family member. People basically want to reenact their first committed relationship. And I like inducing that regression.

I have done this twice. The relationship I chose to invest myself in completely will probably never end until the day I die.

First of all, there is a world of difference between a relationship with a regressive aspect and one without. The one sans-regression is the one typically talked about: a relationship that grows old and stale, and, after ending it, you eventually get over the person. I'm not saying regression combats the eventual lack of novelty or excitement in a relationship, I'm saying it taps into a powerful psychological root in our minds that can sustain a relationship for much longer despite the lack of novelty or excitement. When we find someone who clicks with our deepest desires, then we are fulfilled on a whole different level. And it's not something we are usually aware of. A girl looking for a "bad boy" may secretly want a brother figure, and almost always, "bad boys" really want their mothers.

I know this, and I took it one step further.

I seek out "broken" partners. Part of it is a conscious effort to find and benefit from their vulnerability. The other part is that I'm inexplicably attracted to traumatized psyches. Both of the boys I chose to pursue had messed up childhoods. One had a violent father who now periodically shows up in his life. He had told me a little about his father before I even decided to romantically pursue him. So I already had something to begin with. I knew his father was tall and handsome and a real man's man. I was tall and attractive. I made a point to wear male attire around him, act like a male (not hard) and wear heels so I looked down at him. Like his father would have when he was growing up. I have stopped seeing him since but make a point to search him out and find him now and again. An act that also mirrors his father. Although we rarely speak, I am sure I still have a good chance of pursuing him romantically. I even suspect he secretly wants me to, even though he's married.

My second significant other had extremely neglectful parents. Nothing criminal, but they paid him scant attention and did little to control his "bad boy" antics during his childhood. He was seen as a cold, emotionless person who cared little about pleasing other people, or about anything in general. The conditions were perfect. He had no childhood relationship to reenact because there was no real mother-son relationship there. Meaning I could fill the void and become, psychologically, his first real maternal relationship. Which is exactly what I did.

While we have broken up, it is unlikely our relationship will end. I am so secure in my power over him I am looking forward to seeing who he finds to replace me. I am also curious to see if time will erode my carefully constructed plans. Although I doubt it will, I just read the other day that people have a tendency to return to their first loves.

Before you start calling me a heartless bitch, I should mention that I love both these men. I will always love them. I wouldn't do this with someone I didn't care for, it's too much effort. It's just that once I've decided to commit myself, I fucking commit myself. I use a chameleon-like ploy to fortify my relationship. I re-enforce his love with regression. And by targeting emotionally unstable people, I can go one step further by becoming the parental figure they never had: the mother who cares, the father that never left (well, I did leave, but I plan on returning). Thereby trumping the original parental figure dominating their fractured hearts.

Also, I carefully select (and am likely subconsciously attracted to) people whose regressive fantasies I can fulfill. I only play on regressive roles that help me discover myself in the process. Because of my transgender identity, I can be either mother or father, although right now I'd rather be father. And it's unlikely that I aim for emotionally unstable people for tactical purposes, but also because I am emotionally unstable myself. Well-rounded individuals with a healthy upbringing just don't appeal to me. They don't have the same hunger I have.

Calculated? Extremely. You ABs should be aware of the danger of satiating that regressive desire.

Sorry for the long-ass post. I've never shared these thoughts with anyone before and am interested (and a little nervous) to hear what you guys think.

[Baby Bethany]

I discovered how to do something really, really powerful and wondered what you guys thought of it.

So, there are plenty of people on here who are into regression. Personally I'm a bit of a Freudian and think everyone regresses in serious romantic relationships to model what they had with their mother, father, or another significant family member. People basically want to reenact their first committed relationship. And I like inducing that regression.

I have done this twice. The relationship I chose to invest myself in completely will probably never end until the day I die.

First of all, there is a world of difference between a relationship with a regressive aspect and one without. The one sans-regression is the one typically talked about: a relationship that grows old and stale, and, after ending it, you eventually get over the person. I'm not saying regression combats the eventual lack of novelty or excitement in a relationship, I'm saying it taps into a powerful psychological root in our minds that can sustain a relationship for much longer despite the lack of novelty or excitement. When we find someone who clicks with our deepest desires, then we are fulfilled on a whole different level. And it's not something we are usually aware of. A girl looking for a "bad boy" may secretly want a brother figure, and almost always, "bad boys" really want their mothers.

I know this, and I took it one step further.

I seek out "broken" partners. Part of it is a conscious effort to find and benefit from their vulnerability. The other part is that I'm inexplicably attracted to traumatized psyches. Both of the boys I chose to pursue had messed up childhoods. One had a violent father who now periodically shows up in his life. He had told me a little about his father before I even decided to romantically pursue him. So I already had something to begin with. I knew his father was tall and handsome and a real man's man. I was tall and attractive. I made a point to wear male attire around him, act like a male (not hard) and wear heels so I looked down at him. Like his father would have when he was growing up. I have stopped seeing him since but make a point to search him out and find him now and again. An act that also mirrors his father. Although we rarely speak, I am sure I still have a good chance of pursuing him romantically. I even suspect he secretly wants me to, even though he's married.

My second significant other had extremely neglectful parents. Nothing criminal, but they paid him scant attention and did little to control his "bad boy" antics during his childhood. He was seen as a cold, emotionless person who cared little about pleasing other people, or about anything in general. The conditions were perfect. He had no childhood relationship to reenact because there was no real mother-son relationship there. Meaning I could fill the void and become, psychologically, his first real maternal relationship. Which is exactly what I did.

While we have broken up, it is unlikely our relationship will end. I am so secure in my power over him I am looking forward to seeing who he finds to replace me. I am also curious to see if time will erode my carefully constructed plans. Although I doubt it will, I just read the other day that people have a tendency to return to their first loves.

Before you start calling me a heartless bitch, I should mention that I love both these men. I will always love them. I wouldn't do this with someone I didn't care for, it's too much effort. It's just that once I've decided to commit myself, I fucking commit myself. I use a chameleon-like ploy to fortify my relationship. I re-enforce his love with regression. And by targeting emotionally unstable people, I can go one step further by becoming the parental figure they never had: the mother who cares, the father that never left (well, I did leave, but I plan on returning). Thereby trumping the original parental figure dominating their fractured hearts.

Also, I carefully select (and am likely subconsciously attracted to) people whose regressive fantasies I can fulfill. I only play on regressive roles that help me discover myself in the process. Because of my transgender identity, I can be either mother or father, although right now I'd rather be father. And it's unlikely that I aim for emotionally unstable people for tactical purposes, but also because I am emotionally unstable myself. Well-rounded individuals with a healthy upbringing just don't appeal to me. They don't have the same hunger I have.

Calculated? Extremely. You ABs should be aware of the danger of satiating that regressive desire.

Sorry for the long-ass post. I've never shared these thoughts with anyone before and am interested (and a little nervous) to hear what you guys think.

I think in a sense we all want what we didn't have, so if you were poor as a kid you grow up hungry for money, if your parents were loaded and gave you everything you go off to India and 'find your non material self'. I guess it's the same on an emotional level, if you didn't have a mother or father you seek a mother or father figure. My parents are good people, but they didn't give me any attention other than when I'd been bad. They also didn't give me or my younger brothers any real nurture. Is this why I regress? Who knows, I've been messing about with baby stuff since I was 6 and started by wearing my baby brothers things and climbing in his cot (crib) usually when my mom was around. So maybe I wanted the attention. If that was the case it didn't work, as she just told me not to do it. It may be no coincidence that I've always prefered female company to male, have mostly female friends, and have always dated older women, mostly ones that are kind and caring 'girl next door types'. In fact I've never been with a woman younger than me.

Maybe MM you crave wanting to fill that role in a persons life because either you secretly crave someone doing it to you, or more likely that growing up you wanted to provide a similar service, but it was something you missed out on.

Beth

[Vic]

OH NO! Regression has a dark side! Thank you fro bringing that up MM, yes I'm talking to you Mean Mommy, and NOT Marilyn Manson (who really rocks by the way). Only you could be so clinical in disecting a relationship and anylize it so.

Yes, many people crave the things they never had in life, and really you don't have to look far to see that most people are messed up in their own way, but to manipulate circumstances to give you more control over someone could backfire on you.

I think you might gain so much power in the realtionship that your partner may come to feel that he could never survive without you, and become too needy. You may be able to regress him to the time when he needed a mommy, but what will you do if he becomes clingy and doesn't give you the space you need to recharge your batteries?

Your power to regress him gives you total control, but how do you shut it off when you need time for yourself? Just wondering how you might react to such a possability.

Peace,

Vic

[curiositykilledthecat]

umm...I'd be careful, as guys we like to keep people thinking they're in control just as long as we want them to be. Don't over play your hand, having a hero complex can backfire. Other than that have fun, you sound like a lot of fun, except i have a short fuse when it comes to being manipulated.

I sort f have the hero complex except that's because only psychos seem to like me.

First one was a bipolar drig peddling mental case, but I was head over heels for her(or whatever the guy equivelant is)

Second one used me as a rebound or at leats a short summer fling after college. she was an emotional basket case, kept putting our relationship into high stress situations that weren't needed.

Both, ironically, were named amy and i do not need a third one.

[lynniehyde]

Lead me on, MM. It is every ABs desire to find someone who is as much into this (or more), as they are. And, you seem to know what buttons to push. What planet or solar system do you come from?

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[curiositykilledthecat]

come to the dark side, we have cookies

[PArms]

come to the dark side, we have cookies

Why do all the dark sides have cookies? It's just not fair!

[sarah_ab]

did someone say cookies?

[PampersPete]

did someone say cookies?

[freswith]

The cookies I will devour, but the Dom bit does not appeal. (I might just devour her as well.)

I once knew the Queen of all the Doms, Mariella Novotny (of the Profumo scandal), and we had a truly splendid row because I would not submit to her.

I believe in giving and caring, but not in controlling. I am a big ugly brute, and I am careful to be gentle in my behaviour because I can frighten people so easily, and I do not to do that. That is probably why I am just DL. The AB bit seems to imply BDSM.

[lynniehyde]

come to the dark side, we have cookies

Mmmmmm. Chocochip?

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[curiositykilledthecat]

sadly my cookies have to be sugar free. I'm not into being manipulated in the way she describes but a little role-playing is fun. Like I said don't think you're in control just because a guy leads you to think so. some guys are tools but some know how to play the game and it might get ugly. Always be willing and on the same page.

[Mean Mommy]

I avoided this site for a week, (which was hard, cuz I got pretty bored at times) because I was so nervous about how people would respond to this post. But why do I doubt my babes? You guys are great as always. No one called me a loser! Phew.

Maybe MM you crave wanting to fill that role in a persons life because either you secretly crave someone doing it to you, or more likely that growing up you wanted to provide a similar service, but it was something you missed out on.

Damn you Beth!

I knew you'd be able to find the zipper in my camouflage.

Lately I've been avoiding deep self-analysis, just because I'm all too aware of self-fulfilling prophecies...or diagnoses in this case. But I would agree that a lack of attention and a rotating cast of father figures in my early childhood have likely contributed to my compulsive obsession to dominate in personal relationships now. Sigh... I like to believe it's gotten better, but I know it would only take something of destructive proportions to fill that awning need inside me. World domination it is.

Yes, many people crave the things they never had in life, and really you don't have to look far to see that most people are messed up in their own way, but to manipulate circumstances to give you more control over someone could backfire on you.

I think you might gain so much power in the realtionship that your partner may come to feel that he could never survive without you, and become too needy. You may be able to regress him to the time when he needed a mommy, but what will you do if he becomes clingy and doesn't give you the space you need to recharge your batteries?

Your power to regress him gives you total control, but how do you shut it off when you need time for yourself? Just wondering how you might react to such a possability.

Yeeeaah...didn't really see that one coming. At the time I was all like "clingy? can't have too much of a good thing, huh huh." And a year later I was more "ARRRRRGH!! GET OFF MY CHEST!!!" Soooo... that part of the plan backfired. Yeah.. Lesson learned.

I guess I have to be vigilant when the beau gets clingy. Less about luring him in and more about encouraging healthy um..spacial relations... other than the whole psychological insemination thing by yours truly. It's about switching gears in the relationship when appropriate, I suppose.

I can accomplish this. I'm comfortable with the understanding that with more power comes more responsibility.

umm...I'd be careful, as guys we like to keep people thinking they're in control just as long as we want them to be. Don't over play your hand, having a hero complex can backfire. Other than that have fun, you sound like a lot of fun, except i have a short fuse when it comes to being manipulated.

I sort f have the hero complex except that's because only psychos seem to like me.

Damn, you sound pretty adept at handling power, curiosity. Thanks for the warning, but I run a few personal tests to keep me on top. This isn't the only mind game I know. In fact, I enjoy playing the fool. In my teens I was pretty skilled at it. I took pleasure in blindsiding people who invested their own egos in the charade. Bwa ha ha indeed!

Yes, the hero/martyr complex is usually a disappointment. It's usually the hero's ego being satisfied, not the "damned" love interest. It's built to fail because the "hero" sees the love interest as an inferior, hence the need to be saved. An implied judgment no normal person (who may be in a bind and in real need of saving) will appreciate. The sort of people who want to be saved are always going to want to be saved. Meaning they won't be satisfied once they are saved. That isn't exactly my shtick anyway. I like powerful men. Guys who are confident, competent and a little above the rest. And then I destroy them. The tears soothe old wounds. It's more a villain complex.

The villain complex works over the hero complex because I see my love interest as a superior person who I want to drag down to the depths of misery. People are truly wooed by those who believe wholeheartedly in their abilities, not those who view them as a fixer-upper.

I am always skeptical of men who say they inexplicably attract psychos. You don't just attract psychos. Psychos don't just see you in a crowd, aim a finger at your face, and say "yoooou!!!" We reap what we sew. You courted these women. A part of you knew what you were doing. A part of you was attracted to the psycho.

I hate being manipulated as well. Manipulators always hate being manipulated.

Lead me on, MM. It is every ABs desire to find someone who is as much into this (or more), as they are. And, you seem to know what buttons to push. What planet or solar system do you come from?

Bwee hee hee... Don't encourage me! >)

I believe in giving and caring, but not in controlling. I am a big ugly brute, and I am careful to be gentle in my behaviour because I can frighten people so easily, and I do not to do that. That is probably why I am just DL. The AB bit seems to imply BDSM.

AB does touch on submission and control, but DL also deals with relinquishing control. BDSM is largely about pain and humiliation, things that AB does not need to involve. In fact, I've always viewed AB as a kind, gentle, watered-down version of the BDSM power-play.

Aside from involuntary incontinents, if you are into diapers, you are into something that involves control issues. You silly DLs seem to think you're free from these implications!

[Vic]

OH NO!! MM is alive and kicking! And here I thought that you'd forgotten about all of us here. It seems that you've opened up quite the can of worms, yes indeed.

A lot of good replies to this thread. Good one MM, nothing like the good old verbal introspection by yourself and others. It seems that we've all lived through some of these situations. I know that I did some of those things too.

I've played the hero, only to find that enough is never enough. If you give and give to someone they only want MORE!! Yes I learned from this as well. There are those relationships I had that I really didn't see as break up's as more of a relationship that I escaped.

I've had to distance myself from others for awhile just to give me the chance to look inside and realize what it really was that made me accept those kind of relationships (super clingy) too, so that I could be sure not to set myself up like that again.

I have trouble seeing things crystal clear all of the time you know, so introspection can be a good thing. Don't forget that it's always a good idea to know what it is that you want out of a relationship before going there.

That at least gives you a guide as to what you may want to look for. I hope you have fun searching for the "Mr. Right" (or baby right) and don't get digusted with the whole male species.

Peace,

Vic

[curiositykilledthecat]

hmm.. bdsm sounds fun except i hate pain, not big threshold for it so you are presenting an intriguing argument. I'm not into baby stuff though but the bondage apect and submission sounds fun, just leave out the whipping and putting the ciggerette out on my thigh and all that stereotypical stuff. Otherwise sounds like fun.

[SnuggleTime]

So...how can I find a mean witch like you? How would I pick "you" out from a crowd? I sincerely would like to find someone like you. You're an interesting one for sure

[Baby Bethany]

So...how can I find a mean witch like you? How would I pick "you" out from a crowd? I sincerely would like to find someone like you. You're an interesting one for sure

First, you can't find someone like MM, because there is nobody like her. Second, even if you could you wouldn't want to......MM would not only eat you for breakfast, but lunch, dinner, and midnight snackies too.

Be afraid, be very afraid!!

Beth

[SnuggleTime]

First, you can't find someone like MM, because there is nobody like her. Second, even if you could you wouldn't want to......MM would not only eat you for breakfast, but lunch, dinner, and midnight snackies too.

Be afraid, be very afraid!!

Beth

I know there's nobody quite like her, but I didn't know how to better word it. I also know I'm asking for trouble by seeking out someone *like* her, but I SO want a mean witch of a girl to eat me alive:o I'm very afraid...and I love it

[Mean Mommy]

hmm.. bdsm sounds fun except i hate pain, not big threshold for it so you are presenting an intriguing argument. I'm not into baby stuff though but the bondage apect and submission sounds fun, just leave out the whipping and putting the ciggerette out on my thigh and all that stereotypical stuff. Otherwise sounds like fun.

You don't have to be a "pain slut" to be a submissive, curio. there are many different breeds of submissives. there are bottoms strictly interested in bondage and psychological submission (humiliation, for instance) and there are tops happy to satisfy them.

although.. you are missing out on some intense adrenaline rushes. i hear it's great when combined with sex.

So...how can I find a mean witch like you? How would I pick "you" out from a crowd? I sincerely would like to find someone like you. You're an interesting one for sure

...I also know I'm asking for trouble by seeking out someone *like* her, but I SO want a mean witch of a girl to eat me alive:o I'm very afraid...and I love it

ooooer! i'm flattered snuggle.

but you can't really pick me out of a crowd. unless i'm stalking someone. you can't tell i'm this twisted from the way i look. well, maybe you can since i started wearing my crazy hat collection, but i clean up nicely.

i suggest you keep a lookout for someone with a deep insatiable hunger. that's the best way i can describe it. the only public figures i can think of who are like this are hilary clinton and napoleon. both are (were for napoleon) driven by an unquenchable need for power. that's one of the ways this hunger manifests itself: a lust for power, in whatever form is most appealing. those with this hunger are wracked by the need to dominate and conquer. when i look around i see that these personalities are few and far in between.

also, look for a girl with vast reserves of passion. people devoted to a cause or who excel in a particular area, be it politics, art, or artificial insemination of miniature poodles, are good candidates. passion is the force that will be turned on you to imprison and adore you if you manage to successfully seduce the girl who has it.

i can't really get more specific than that because i don't identify with any recognizable group of people on this level (except for dominatrices, but i'm guessing you wanted something a little less obvious). plus i don't study people such as myself, i study my prey.

sorry i can't be any more helpful good luck though. i hope you soon experience the pleasure of fearing your lady's love

First, you can't find someone like MM, because there is nobody like her. Second, even if you could you wouldn't want to......MM would not only eat you for breakfast, but lunch, dinner, and midnight snackies too.

weird..i don't remember telling you about my vore fetish, BB.

[MusicBABY180]

Thats actually sound kinda cool, doing that to them. I never really did have a mother-like figure. Instead, my mom was more like a friend and my dad is just a drunk. It seems like you kinda help them subconciously.

[diaprbayb]

come to the dark side, we have cookies

No, go to the light We have CAKE!

[dave_the_baby]

The Cake is a Lie!

I don't wanna be incinerated by a psycho computer!

Take that, Dark-Dark Vader!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Anybody got brownies?

[tris]

Did this topic go stale?

F that!

In said relationship, there are so many obstacles to overcome -- for both partners. One has to take FULL responsibility for the other, and one has to do their damndest to allow that other person to control nearly every aspect of their life, save for breathing.

But what do you do in public situations? What about your respective families? At some point, both must 'front' in order to keep up appearances.

F'xample: I hate hate HATE going shopping with the gf. I love shopping, especially grocery shopping. I get a high from spending money, it's reassuring. But someone ruins it for me by arguing with me (sometimes loudly) about brands and cost. I don't know about you, but I don't see anyone else arguing with their spouses in the Walmart. I may not hear very well, but, I can tell you what I don't hear -- other people arguing with each other in the fucking Walmart.

While I enjoy certain types of public humiliation, it's the ones that involve money (or lack thereof), or just stupid shit "We already have sugar! We don't need more sugar! Tristan! Put it back! Tristan!!!!" that make me want to do county walk on a DV bid. I'll straight-up choke a bitch next time. I love attention, but I can still feel the way people are looking at me when this happens, and I don't enjoy it AT ALL.

But this kinda shit gets me to thinking -- just how delusional are some of us? It's super unrealistic to expect that some kind of mommy/baby relationship between two adults can exist on cooing and gurgling alone. Sometimes it sucks not to be able to make some choices and call some shots. Sometimes Baby will see that Mommy is making a poor choice, but, is unable to correct her. Sometimes Baby would like to drive! Or, sometimes Mommy needs a Man. Someone who brings home flowers instead of a wet diaper and a colored page. Or someone who gets angry once in a while and takes out his frustrations in the bedroom.

I'm sure all of you have some kind of visualization of what your perfect relationship looks like, but, what would it REALLY look like?

[babyfur]

This is actually kind of true with me. I think my preference for males is because I want a brother figure who actually cares about me. My own brother was a heartless bastard who could care less about me. I always busted my ass to try and earn his affection and I do the same thing now. I'm happiest with a male who is sort of dominant yes but they're also affectionate.