Planning On Telling My Wife

[Guest dllightning]

k, so this is what i am thinking next to talk to her about.

The part about how this "nuturing need" will never truly go away and how i have come to live with it as being a part of who i am...

[PampersPete]

Quit being such a fuckin' pussy and just spit it out!

[Guest AllenABDL_BabyFur_Dragon]

Quit being such a fuckin' pussy and just spit it out!

hey its good hes takeing it slow. if her were to jump right into it, it is possible that hig girl could over react and think bad things about his fetish i think its good hes takeing it slow i would also

[PampersPete]

You're new around here,aren't you?

[Baby Bethany]

You're new around here,aren't you?

Having just read this thread it reads a bit like a story. I'm not saying that to be cruel or even that I doubt it's true, but it does read like a story the way it's written. Especialy the full draft of the conversation bit.

The only bit that I do doubt is "If she don't like diapers I don't want them". I've never met any AB/DL that will stop wanting diapers if their loved one doesn't approve.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Beth

[Guest dllightning]

Having just read this thread it reads a bit like a story. I'm not saying that to be cruel or even that I doubt it's true, but it does read like a story the way it's written. Especialy the full draft of the conversation bit.

The only bit that I do doubt is "If she don't like diapers I don't want them". I've never met any AB/DL that will stop wanting diapers if their loved one doesn't approve.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Beth

Beth,

It is true. I have given up World of Warcraft for the bettering of my relationship to my wife. If diapers make her trip, then I won't wear them. Been diaper for free for a couple of years until recently reawakening this side.

"ZOMG! Give up wearing!?!"

Well folks that is one part of love- Sacrifice. If you couldn't give something up for the bettering of your relationship- you need a deep status check on your heart, and a dictionary to go over your vows.

On the other comment about how this reads like a story with a dialog...

1) This is all true and at the outcome I will be removing the whole entire post.

2) The fact that I will give up diaper wearing IS NEVER in a fantasy story.

3) I did well in English and Writing. I revealed my story like this 1) to keep you interested while you were reading and 2) to give you a better sense of realism in reading, almost as if you were there. I apologize if those of us who are literate and creative express it in these forums. I can revert to: YAH ITZ WAS SOOOOOOO KOOLZ THAT SHE LIK ME ALL OVR HER BREATESTEST.... if you want... (just kidding about the last part)

Allen, thanks bro for standing by me,

Peace Out

[Guest dllightning]

Pampers Pete,

LAWLCOPPER - Not my style, and its not her way.

[sarah_ab]

so just wanted to say, its actually a pretty common fantasy for men to want to suckle on a breastfeeding woman, and i'm talking men who are in no way related to the abdl fetish. so in that regard you are not doing anything 'out there' or 'weird' ...

also, if she enjoys it as much as you do, when your daughter reaches the age where she no longer breastfeeds, as long as you wife continues to pumpon a schedule she will remain lactating and you both can enjoy the breast feeding activities.

and i did giggle whenever you refer to parts of your wife as 'her fruits' etc... its such a romance novel way to describe having sex. nothing wrong just made me giggle to hear a male saying that.

[Inky_Wonky]

I have to agree with everyone here. You are going about it the right way and taking it slowly. Give her a chance to think about it and to contemplate it some.

It's interesting no one has commented about that fact your wife seems to be interested in spanking. Have you talked with her about it? I mean it could be something that she could receive some needs met as long as you are getting yours.

[diapermommie]

This might just be a personal preference on my part, but for me, it wouldn't have made a difference if it was introduced slowly. Wanting nurturing is hardly a shocking thing. It's not like you can just ease from one thing into "i like to wear diapers" eventually you have to saw those words, and it's not going to be any less of a shock to her just because she happens to like that you suck on her lactating boobs.

There were hints dropped ALL over the place, and I"m talking big hints, we used to joke about pullups and all sorts of fetish related things before I knew my hubby was a DL. It didn't change the initial reaction. It was kind of funny in a "lol wow I shoulda picked up on that waaay before today!" way. And it wasn't any sort of big blow for me cuz I had my lil AB side, and due to knowing him it didn't surprise me that it turned out he was an abdl sort. There's nothing wrong with feeling a person out before you put forth such a huge admission. But are you REALLY doing it for her sake, to ease her into it etc or are you doing it because it's so hard to say regardless? Saying "I like to use and wear diapers" is not going to be any easier for you a week from now than it is today, because no matter what you try to cover in the mean time, that sentence is going to be like nothing else you've brought up previously. It's going to foreshadow everything and the ONLY thing in her mind at that second is going to be the thing you just said to her. Talking about it for a while afterwards, she might realize yeah there were signs and "OH so that's what he meant when he brought that up" etc. But the "my husband/boyfriend likes to wear diapers" is going to be the only thing for at least a short time. And you're going to have to deal with whatever reaction that brings. Waiting isn't going to change the reaction, I don't think. It'll just delay it.

[Guest dllightning]

This might just be a personal preference on my part, but for me, it wouldn't have made a difference if it was introduced slowly. Wanting nurturing is hardly a shocking thing. It's not like you can just ease from one thing into "i like to wear diapers" eventually you have to saw those words, and it's not going to be any less of a shock to her just because she happens to like that you suck on her lactating boobs.

There were hints dropped ALL over the place, and I"m talking big hints, we used to joke about pullups and all sorts of fetish related things before I knew my hubby was a DL. It didn't change the initial reaction. It was kind of funny in a "lol wow I shoulda picked up on that waaay before today!" way. And it wasn't any sort of big blow for me cuz I had my lil AB side, and due to knowing him it didn't surprise me that it turned out he was an abdl sort. There's nothing wrong with feeling a person out before you put forth such a huge admission. But are you REALLY doing it for her sake, to ease her into it etc or are you doing it because it's so hard to say regardless? Saying "I like to use and wear diapers" is not going to be any easier for you a week from now than it is today, because no matter what you try to cover in the mean time, that sentence is going to be like nothing else you've brought up previously. It's going to foreshadow everything and the ONLY thing in her mind at that second is going to be the thing you just said to her. Talking about it for a while afterwards, she might realize yeah there were signs and "OH so that's what he meant when he brought that up" etc. But the "my husband/boyfriend likes to wear diapers" is going to be the only thing for at least a short time. And you're going to have to deal with whatever reaction that brings. Waiting isn't going to change the reaction, I don't think. It'll just delay it.

I think you are mostly correct in this statement; however, and I dont think I disclosed this yet, but my wife has a very, very innocent-simple mind. She will overlook the reality to maintain a simple understanding of the things that surround her. This is something we keep revisiting in our marriage. I am not trying to convert her total thinking, but rather trying to teach her to know the truth (aka reality) about the things that immediately surround her.

Easing in does probably help my SANITY more than anything. As an intellectual, we tend to think, think, overthink, think of all the possibilities, play out all the scenarios... you get the idea. And yes, I will have to bite the diaper bullet sometime and it will be a TOTAL paradigm shift into where I have been leading her with the truth of myself.

Spanking - Like I said she is not hard core in this, so it does not bring a strong ?relativeness? to the "changing table." It can be a small side point to help recognize that she may have some type, some measure of a fetish.

[PampersPete]

Pampers Pete,

LAWLCOPPER - Not my style, and its not her way.

In case you didn't notice,I was only joking. Take your time in your own way and things will work out.

[Mean Mommy]

paradigm shift. haven't heard that in a while. memories of pompous college professors abounding in my mind...

question: has your wife ever disclosed something this intimate to you?

since you're taking this nice and slow, i would advise you to encourage any kinky inclinations she may have. not only does it add zest to the sex life, but it also sets up an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding, making it easier for you when you do tell her the truth. to do so may require that you study her closely, see what things she keeps returning to in conversation, eye contact, etc. since she's so innocent, as you say, she may not realize her own perversions, or may attempt to "overlook them". so it could take some diligent analyzing and compassionate encouragement on your part to develop them. i suppose you would call this "converting" your wife. but i think it's only right that both partners make the same effort to explore their sexuality symultaneously. how can you get someone to indulge your fantasies if they haven't even realized or accepted their own? i would say that person isn't prepared sexually or psychologically. the only way we can understand pain is by experiencing it ourselves, we can't empathize with others until we do.

also, did you just describe your dearest as simple minded? careful, careful. we cannot sustain love with people we hold in contempt. also, do not underestimate your wife. normal people are fully capable of engaging in mind games, you don't need a high IQ to do that. you may view her as naive, but she may just be playing dumb in order to avoid dealing with things she'd rather not deal with.

i don't mean to make you paranoid or anything...i just like to share troubling thoughts. i'm a real hit at hospitals.

if your wife "overlooks reality" in order to sustain a "simple understanding" of her surroundings, i wouldn't call her naive, or simple-minded. i would say that she has a tendency to repress. an innocent/naive person has yet to be introduced to reality, and a simple-minded person wouldn't be able to comprehend his reality in order to reject/overlook it. if this is the case you should be wary, because she has the mental capacity to identify things and chooses to not recognize them. meaning she may be repressing the actual intention of all your hints.

also, what is the demeanor of your wife? does she pretend to like people she secretly loathes? well, we all do that, but how well does she do it? if i am forced to interact with people i don't like, i make sure it's not an enjoyable experience. my frenemy can clearly tell i hate him/her even though i am being civil. if you can gauge how much and how well your wife lies in dealing with things she doesn't like, you should be able to tell how well she's taking your hints about being diapered.

i have to say, i agree with BB that something smells fishy 'round here. it's strange that you would reject your sexual inclinations. it rarely works. but if you think you can do it, then more power to you. also, i for one don't support marrying a person you have yet to share serious personal truths with. that is an institution built on a shaky foundation.

[BriGuy]

paradigm shift. haven't heard that in a while. memories of pompous college professors abounding in my mind...

question: has your wife ever disclosed something this intimate to you?

since you're taking this nice and slow, i would advise you to encourage any kinky inclinations she may have. not only does it add zest to the sex life, but it also sets up an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding, making it easier for you when you do tell her the truth. to do so may require that you study her closely, see what things she keeps returning to in conversation, eye contact, etc. since she's so innocent, as you say, she may not realize her own perversions, or may attempt to "overlook them". so it could take some diligent analyzing and compassionate encouragement on your part to develop them. i suppose you would call this "converting" your wife. but i think it's only right that both partners make the same effort to explore their sexuality symultaneously. how can you get someone to indulge your fantasies if they haven't even realized or accepted their own? i would say that person isn't prepared sexually or psychologically. the only way we can understand pain is by experiencing it ourselves, we can't empathize with others until we do.

also, did you just describe your dearest as simple minded? careful, careful. we cannot sustain love with people we hold in contempt. also, do not underestimate your wife. normal people are fully capable of engaging in mind games, you don't need a high IQ to do that. you may view her as naive, but she may just be playing dumb in order to avoid dealing with things she'd rather not deal with.

i don't mean to make you paranoid or anything...i just like to share troubling thoughts. i'm a real hit at hospitals.

if your wife "overlooks reality" in order to sustain a "simple understanding" of her surroundings, i wouldn't call her naive, or simple-minded. i would say that she has a tendency to repress. an innocent/naive person has yet to be introduced to reality, and a simple-minded person wouldn't be able to comprehend his reality in order to reject/overlook it. if this is the case you should be wary, because she has the mental capacity to identify things and chooses to not recognize them. meaning she may be repressing the actual intention of all your hints.

also, what is the demeanor of your wife? does she pretend to like people she secretly loathes? well, we all do that, but how well does she do it? if i am forced to interact with people i don't like, i make sure it's not an enjoyable experience. my frenemy can clearly tell i hate him/her even though i am being civil. if you can gauge how much and how well your wife lies in dealing with things she doesn't like, you should be able to tell how well she's taking your hints about being diapered.

i have to say, i agree with BB that something smells fishy 'round here. it's strange that you would reject your sexual inclinations. it rarely works. but if you think you can do it, then more power to you. also, i for one don't support marrying a person you have yet to share serious personal truths with. that is an institution built on a shaky foundation.

Brilliant..... Simply Brilliant.... Do they make you in a California model Mean Mommy? Would love to sit down and have coffee with you just to hear your thoughts. I am sure my wife would be intrigued as well.

~Brian

[Guest dllightning]

paradigm shift. haven't heard that in a while. memories of pompous college professors abounding in my mind...

question: has your wife ever disclosed something this intimate to you?

since you're taking this nice and slow, i would advise you to encourage any kinky inclinations she may have. not only does it add zest to the sex life, but it also sets up an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding, making it easier for you when you do tell her the truth. to do so may require that you study her closely, see what things she keeps returning to in conversation, eye contact, etc. since she's so innocent, as you say, she may not realize her own perversions, or may attempt to "overlook them". so it could take some diligent analyzing and compassionate encouragement on your part to develop them. i suppose you would call this "converting" your wife. but i think it's only right that both partners make the same effort to explore their sexuality symultaneously. how can you get someone to indulge your fantasies if they haven't even realized or accepted their own? i would say that person isn't prepared sexually or psychologically. the only way we can understand pain is by experiencing it ourselves, we can't empathize with others until we do.

also, did you just describe your dearest as simple minded? careful, careful. we cannot sustain love with people we hold in contempt. also, do not underestimate your wife. normal people are fully capable of engaging in mind games, you don't need a high IQ to do that. you may view her as naive, but she may just be playing dumb in order to avoid dealing with things she'd rather not deal with.

i don't mean to make you paranoid or anything...i just like to share troubling thoughts. i'm a real hit at hospitals.

if your wife "overlooks reality" in order to sustain a "simple understanding" of her surroundings, i wouldn't call her naive, or simple-minded. i would say that she has a tendency to repress. an innocent/naive person has yet to be introduced to reality, and a simple-minded person wouldn't be able to comprehend his reality in order to reject/overlook it. if this is the case you should be wary, because she has the mental capacity to identify things and chooses to not recognize them. meaning she may be repressing the actual intention of all your hints.

also, what is the demeanor of your wife? does she pretend to like people she secretly loathes? well, we all do that, but how well does she do it? if i am forced to interact with people i don't like, i make sure it's not an enjoyable experience. my frenemy can clearly tell i hate him/her even though i am being civil. if you can gauge how much and how well your wife lies in dealing with things she doesn't like, you should be able to tell how well she's taking your hints about being diapered.

i have to say, i agree with BB that something smells fishy 'round here. it's strange that you would reject your sexual inclinations. it rarely works. but if you think you can do it, then more power to you. also, i for one don't support marrying a person you have yet to share serious personal truths with. that is an institution built on a shaky foundation.

A reply, and an update!

Mean Mommie, my wife has never mentioned or let on of any sexual fetish. I mean the only fetish she has that I know of is her love for carbs! She has mentioned that some things turn her on, but most involve acts that I do that speak her love language. The other things are out of the blue, like when I giver her a certain look, or when I do silly improv impersonations of unknown ppl. Like this afternoon I was baking apple dumplings in the kitchen with just a t-shirt and a diaper on... Just kidding it was my boxer briefs not a diaper >.< And she was like. "Honey, I think your sexy there just cooking away in your underwear..." You know stuff like that.

She had a bad past dealing with an issue sexually, I think that is why her mind is kinda sheltered from that aspect of life of exploring sexually. Trust me, we make do thanks to some good counsel.

UPDATE:

It's small, but whatever- She walked into our bedroom where I was laying down for a nap with a pacifier in her mouth. In my head I was like "ZOINKS !?!? Am I dreaming!" (I had been dreaming my wife was into the abdl scene - I wish I coulda stayed asleep longer ) I got this HUGE smile on my face, she totally saw it and said, "Yeah?"

"I just think you look really sexy right now..." I replied

She just kinda giggled, got what she came in for and left.

That was a couple of days ago. Her parents have left outta town for a couple of days and now I am looking for a good opportunity to talk to her about diapers.

I am gonna approach the conversation like this, "Well, remember what we talked about a couple of weeks ago about nuturing? There is a second part to that conversation, and it is my biggest secret that I do not want to carry around alone anymore (Oh I know you all are "there" for me, but you know what I mean), I have had this secret my whole life that I can remember and it may seem VERY, very weird, but do you want to know?"

Something like that, Idk- Like someone mentioned earlier, I will have to saw through those words sometime and it isn't gonna be any easier. I just can;t wait to get that line done and then start to answer her questions and start educating her about this part of my life I thought I would never revisit.

SIDENOTE BONUS -

I have told someone about diapers, I just remembered today. It was like back in 5th-6th grade. Puberty was kicking in and me and my friend kinda had each other to talk to about all this junk goin on in our humanity. Lol, I told him that diapers really get me goin, and he was like you mean if INSERT GIRLS NAME HERE was wearing a diaper, that would totally make her attractive to you? I do not remember what I said next, but I remember quickly burying the conversation and never bringing it up again! Man, memories are a TRIP!

[baby Stephen]

My wife and daughter know about my diaper fetish. They have known for many years.

Sincerely, baby Stephen

[ksdl]

Good luck with telling her. I would avoid using the very weird term, the more normal you make it seem to you the better off you are, just my opinion.

I told my wife 5 weeks ago. I kept it simple per the advice in some of the threads here, and I didnt go into all the details. I have brought it up once and she was pretty adamant that she would discuss it again when she was ready. Be prepared for any kind of reaction, but from all that I have read it will take a long time, 6 months to a year before she accepts it. I think that is about right for my wife as well.

[Baby Bethany]

I agree with the last poster, don't go along the lines of "I know it's weird, or I know it's not normal, but I can't help it" sort of thing. If you think it's odd, you will convince her that it's odd too.

I know it's scary, but try and be relaxed about it. Try and get across why it's not so bad. I waited 12 years to tell my wife, and after all that she didn't think it was a big deal.

Good luck!

Beth

[Repaid1]

STAND BY THIS IS LONG WINDED

I personally told my wife before she was mine. Here's a previous thread, look for Mommy Michelle my wife: http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.ph...t=0&start=0

I know you think it's the biggest thing in the world, and it may be at this point and as such how do you believe that you can just push it away for her. You yourself said you put it away in the past and it is now back, so obviously it's not going away you just purged the desire for a time. If you think that giving up something that is inherently important to you for her, Then why in the same token couldn't she do the same for you? Seems to me if you want to honor the vows of marriage. Then remember the big one, for better or worse. This is a part of your life, playing a game of WoW isn't. She needs to know the truth and really understand the "real" you. However small a part that may be it's still a part.

There have been many threads about this, most come out the same way. I have said it before I have been with about 20 women, most just as a sitter or occasional mommy. Only a few were my actual "partner" which included adult activities of their fruits ( I liked it too). In only one incident that was heading towards long term did I have a problem and she left. No bad words no derogatory statements, just one thing..why didn't you tell me this from the start. I'll never know if it was because she disliked the whole thing or that I had kept a secret from her.

I say this as my advice, I have met MANY women (see above) most took the whole thing in stride, and many of them (including both my wifes) totally wholeheartedly accepted me for me and loved the idea of me being a baby. Now that's not to say your being a baby all the time, you are indeed a man and they should know that you will continue to be that part as that was what they married. It's just that I have found that the women I have been with enjoyed the feelings, be it either a power trip of being "over" you or the simple nurturing aspect and you showing a less dominate side.

Simply, You need to tell her and you need to do it soon. I know people say take it slow, but whats the point? Your going to come to that intersection eventually. Why delay the inevitable? The problem IF there is going to be one is after the fact. Then things can be taken slowly, worked out and improvised. by not telling her you are keeping a secret from her and that Sir I don't believe is fair to her and your marriage.

This is not by any means a guide but let me tell you how I approached this topic, and I will tell you that it has been proved for me to work time and time again. First bring up that you have something Very..Very important to tell them. But your looking for the right time to tell her, and when that time comes you hope that she will understand. Now let me say, this isn't a game and isn't meant to deceive your partner.

Okay now she knows you have something important to tell her. It has been my understanding this is a very important part to tell you how she is going to react to the topic. If she says "It's okay, when you can tell me, tell me" That's a good thing..If on the other hand she demands that you tell her..well that's another story..not necessary bad, but could be. Okay now from there, if she drops little hints along the next few days that she is still there for you to tell her then you go to the next step. Here's where you have a few options..the truth is best right from your lips...but you know your wife best so you can do a couple of things. I personally either just spit it out, or in certain cases I unzipped my pants, and showed them the top of my diaper.

So for me, almost every time was a feeling of relief, it was always.."is that all that it was?" "that's what you were afraid to tell me" "I thought it was something terrible" Seriously, to many of you guys on here make it out to be the worst thing in the world, the women (or men) can think up some pretty nasty things while they are waiting for you to come out with that "important secret". This will be a drop in the bucket to those kind of things.

There is a channel we have here called the "WE" channel, (Womens Entertainment Channel) They have a show on there called the Secret lives of women, they have already done a show on this kind of relationship. The difference being a baby girl with the husband/boyfriend being the daddy. It should be about due to re-air soon. Maybe this would be a show you both could watch. There are several different "Kinks" highlighted on the show. When you both watch the show, you'll be able to see her reaction to each different kind of lifestyle..and unknown to her your own as well. Then throw it out there..tell her one of the things you just saw is my secret.. Bet she guesses..wanna bet? If anything if you have the channel just start watching it with her, then your show might air later, after a few shows. (it's on You tube too)

Now it's out there, you both know and then you can deal with it, stop hiding and put it out there. I know you didn't care for Pamper Pete's phrase.. I just said it a bit more eloquently. And for the words of a man I can relate too (But not Idolize) GET-R-Done! Best of luck, and Like others have said, make it positive, keep the "weird outta it" Just something Important will work.

BTW: Quote: "ZOINKS !?!? Am I dreaming!" Nice Scooby Do....

[Guest dllightning]

Thanks Repaid,

I am setting the stage for tomorrow to tell her, we shall see how it goes!

Wish me luck everyone!

[Guest dllightning]

Well, we had some issues that we had to settle before I could tell my wife, and we got there!

That's right... I finally told my wife!!!

I feel better, but I don't feel any different. Here are the details:

If you recall I have a thread leading up to this:

“Well babe, wanna have a fun conversation?

[LILJIM]

Before she was my wife she found out;threw some1 else. When asks about it we set a date to talk.We did then she wanted to see lol she did. We did it like other things try it then discuss how we each felt about it. Over time we both give & take for each other even of the things we are soso about.It works for us....Good luck to you 2.