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  1. Adult baby looking for a mommy in Newark, Ohio

    I am an adult baby who is looking for a mommy/mom/mother type figure girlfriend for a long term relationship and then maybe marriage.About me. I'm a very caring and loving person(adult baby care bear). I'm caring and loving and cuddly. I can be an adult when i need to be. I love care bears. I'm 27. I am looking for a mommy/mother figure girlfriend to be with me and to treat me as if i were her own. I never had that mommy/baby bond (breastfeeding). I would love to be breastfed its so nice and nurturing to me. Preferably a mommy who is 20 to 35. I love to sleep in my crib all the time. I like to wear diapers and sleep in them, some how i got into diapers and now i like them, but i don't go in them i just like the feel and sound they make. I like to go fishing, boating go to the movies once and a while. I like bowling. I have been feeling like a baby my whole life. I like to listen to rock and Taylor Swift and lullaby music. I'm not looking for sex, but that will be up to you. I do not have any sexual diseases. If this is something that you would be interested in let me know. I live in Newark ohio.
  2. The Author KenitohMenara at FanFiction started a story in which the Pokemon had enough about being used like toys by Humans and started a Rebellion and decided, when the Humans act like children, they should be treated like children. And so, after many fights, the Pokemon finally won. And after the new gouverment was established, the Pokemon are now putting their formerly Trainers and other young humans in Pokemon families where they are now mostly treated like infants by their new Pokemon Parents. Some are trying to bring their Human Children slowly to this new infantile lifestyle, while others are more forcefully. His story sparked a few others in this "New Perspective" world as it is called now. Here is the link to the original story of KenitohMenara: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10346281/1/Rosa-s-New-Perspective There is no ABDL stuff in his story, but I think it's still a great and cute story. And there are other stories who are going more to the ABDL theme, like this story. I hope you will find it interesting: Jennifer's New Perspective Chapter 1 It was six month after the Revolution of the Pokemon, leaded by the Psychic types, ended. The Pokemon had founded the HAA (Human Adoption Agency) and started to gather the trainers and put them in Pokemon families who dressed and treated them like infants. Many trainers could escape in the wild and hide from the Pokemon. But the HAA had patrols send out to find them and bring them to safety where they waited for Pokemon to adopt them. Jennifer, 14 years old, looked around Veilstone City from her hideout while thinking about her next move. She needed supplies when she wants to make it to the next city. The Veilstone Department Store seems a good choice. Lots of different shops to gather many supplies for her next travel. She makes her way to the store, wearing a green summer dress she "found" to disguise her to look like she was an adopted child from a Pokemon Family. Her brown hair, which reached to the half of her back, was tied at the end with a ribbon. "So far, so good..." said Jennifer to herself as she entered the Department Store and starts to look around for what she needed. She luckily had still some money to pay for what she needed. On the way she saws many Pokemon with their human children dressed and treated like babies. What confused her was that many of them seemed embarrassed but still happy with being the babies of Pokemon. Well, they can be as happy as they want, but she would never let this happen to her. She already got to three stores and the employers and other Pokemon commented what a big girl she was to go shopping for her parents. Luckily, she had gotten a pill that let her talk to Pokemon while she was shortly captured but could escape. Not so luckily, she got separated from her Pokemon. She wondered what they are doing right now? They probably have found themselves some nice mates and starting families. Maybe even adopting humans of their own and treat them like babies... The thought made her shudder slightly as she walked past an coffee shop. "Jennifer?" asked suddenly a female voice from behind. Jennifer stopped in shock. She know this voice. Fear tugged on her heart as she turned around to face the Delphox that was her first Pokemon, best friend and former partner. The Delphox was wearing a blue dress with fitting shoes. She was even a few heads bigger as Jennifer, which came from the growth enhancers the Pokemon created to help the smallest Pokemon to take care of their human children. She stood beside a chair at one of the tables at the coffee shop, where she has clearly been sitting before she spotted her former Trainer. "Oh my Arceus! It IS you! Jennifer!" Said the Delphox overjoyed to see her former Trainer again. She quickly got over to the still shocked girl and scooped her up to give her a hug which lead to her loosing the grip on her shopping bags who fall to the ground. Jennifer came out of her shock and hugged her former Pokemon a bit awkwardly back. "Hi Delphox. It's good to see you again." said Jennifer. The Delphox giggle a bit and loosened the hug but didn't set her back on the ground. Instead, she sat her on her arm like a child which caused Jennifer to blush. "Actually, my real name is Samantha Fireflower." Said Samantha and couldn't help herself as she poked Jennifer on the nose. Making her even more blush. She then noticed the shopping bag on the ground and asked: "Are you shopping with your new parents? I would like to meet them and ask if it's ok when I come over to visit you." Jennifer felt like she could kick herself. She hadn't thought about a back-story for her disguise! But maybe Samantha could help her... surely she wouldn't sell her out... right? "Well? Where are your parents?" Asked Samantha again, thinking Jennifer didn't heard her. "Well... the thing is..." Jennifer leaned forward Samantha lowered her head so her former Trainer could whisper in her ear: "I'm actually still on the run. I'm just dressed like that so the Pokemon think I have been already adopted." Samantha stood there with her eyes going wide for a moment before she looked at Jennifer and asked silently if she tells the truth. Jennifer nodded and Samantha got a big smile on her face. "That's actually wonderful news! And I think I have a solution for your problem." Said Samantha suddenly. Jennifer looked a bit confused at her friend and asked: "A solution for what problem?" Samantha took the shopping bag on the ground and got over to the table to pay for her coffee and to get her own shopping bag before turning back to her trainer she still hold in her arms. "Well... since you don't have a family to take care of you, I will do it." Jennifer stared in disbelief at her former Pokemon. "W-what do you mean by that?" She asked in the hope she didn't mean what she thought her former Pokemon meant... Samantha smiled at her and said: "I'm going to adopt you of course. You always took good care of me, now it's my turn to take care of you." Jennifer couldn't belief what she heard. Her own former Pokemon wanted to adopt her? That can only be a nightmare. But as Samantha got on her way to the exit and bounced her soon-to-be daughter to get a better grip on her, Jennifer know it was no dream. She started to struggle and tried to get down, but Samantha was holding her securely. "Stop struggling sweetie. I promise you, me and my mate will take good care of you." Samantha said. Jennifer noticed she couldn't get out of the grip and was just sitting there and let herself being carried. Then she thought about what Samantha just said. "Your mate? You are married?" Jennifer asked. "Well yes. It was actually during the revolution that we meet and just a few weeks later, we were together. She is the most caring and beautiful Ninetales I have ever meet." Samantha sighed happily and smiled at Jennifer before she continued. "And now we will even have a little girl of our own." Samantha nuzzled Jennifer's cheek with her nose and Jennifer could feel the warm breathing on her skin which made her blush again. "Well, I don't know if I... wait a minute.. did you said *she*? I didn't know you swing that way." said Jennifer. "We couldn't talk properly before. I'm really happy that we are now able to really talk with each other." Samantha leaved the Department store with Jennifer in her arm and walked to a nearby car. She sat the shopping bags down and opened the door to the back seats first. She then proceeded to sit Jennifer in and strapped her down. Jennifer tried to protest and tells her she could do this on her own. But Samantha ignored her and soon she was safely seated for the drive home. Jennifer considered to just open the belt and run away, but she was in the middle of the city and she would never make it out. But if she don't run, she would end up being adopted by her former Pokemon. She decided to take the risk as Samantha was putting the shopping bags in the luggage space. She opened the belt and door of the car and started to run... she didn't came far as she noticed her feet didn't touched the ground any longer. A Gallade with blue glowing eyes and raised arm came over to her. She could see he wore some kind of uniform. On his chest was a badge with the initials HAA. "And where do you think you are going, young lady? It's not nice to just run away." He said and carried Jennifer in his Psychic grip over to Samantha who watched the whole thing with an disappointed look. He hold her in his grip and asked Samantha: "Is this your daughter, ma'am? I found her running away from your car." Samantha still looked disappointed at Jennifer and the girl felt actually a little bit guilty for just running away. "Yes. This is my daughter. Or more like, she will be once we make it official. She is actually my former trainer and I found her in the department store today. Disguised to look like she was already adopted and buying supplies for, what I assume, a longer travel." Samantha explained. "And after discovering that she isn't adopted, you decided to adopt her?" asked the Officer. Samantha nodded and answered: "Yes. As I said, she is my former trainer and always took good care of me. And now I want to do the same for her. But it seems, she is still a bit scared about the adoption. I can't really blame her. It is a bit weird that Pokemon take care of humans and that will not change for a while. But I'm confident she will come to like it with time." The Officer smiled and looked back to Jennifer: "You can be happy to have a mommy like her." He then carried her over to Samantha who took her in her arms and cradled her before sitting her back in the car-seat and fastened the belt. "You can come over at the HAA office to make the adoption official. I will call them and they can prepare the needed papers. It shouldn't be a problem for you adopting her." said the Officer and walked away. Samantha thanked him and sat in the driver seat. She turned around and looked at Jennifer who was looking unhappily out the window. "Jennifer..." started Samantha, "I know you don't like the idea of being adopted. But I really just want to help you finding a place in this new world. And sorry for being so blunt but... it will never be like it was. We Pokemon have won the War. We did it BECAUSE we care about humans." Jenifer still looked out the window. Samantha continued: "Just think about it. What does you have when you run away in the wild? Do you have a safe place to sleep? Fresh food? What is you get hurt?" Jennifer sighed. She know Samantha was right. But she still doesn't want to be just adopted by Pokemon and treated like a child. But for the moment, she doesn't really have a choice. Samantha sighed and said: "For whatever it's worth. I really love you. I promised myself that, when the war is over, I would definitely adopting you. I even send a request to the HAA to inform me when you are found. As I saw you in the department store, my first thought was to find your new parents and plead them to give you to me." Jennifer looked surprised to Samantha, who was now looking forward and starting the car for the drive home. It was a silent drive and Jennifer took the time to think about what Samantha said. The car came to a stop in front of a rather big two story house that was a bit outside from the city. Samantha got out firstly and opened the belt from Jennifer as she promised to not run away. Samantha took her on the hand and they got to the backside of the car where they uploaded the shopping bags. Jennifer wanted to carry her own bags, but Samantha took them from her and Jennifer soon found herself in the same position as in the Department Store, meaning, being carried in one arm by Samantha. They came to the door and Samantha put the bags on the ground to open the door. She got inside and into a kitchen to put the bags down. She then adjusted her hold on Jennifer to hold her a little bit more cradled while slightly rocking her while walking into the hallway. "Manda! I'm back! And I brought something special for us!" Called Samantha in the house. Jennifer blushed since she know exactly what Samantha meant with "something special". She heard another female voice answering: "I'm coming." Samantha looked to Jenny and said with a smile: "Ready to meet your other new mommy, sweetie?" Jennifer Chapter 2 To say Jennifer was baffled would be an understatement. Not only was she discovered by her own Pokemon that she wasn't adopted like the other trainers but her own Pokemon decided to adopt her! Jennifer looked back into the hallway as she heard footsteps (or was this paw steps?) coming closer. She saw a door on the side open and out came a Ninetales wearing a cute pink dress with a big white bow on the back. The Ninetales came over to Samantha and saw her holding the blushing girl in her arms. "Sam? Who is this little cutie? Are you babysitting again?" asked Manda the Ninetales with a smile as she tickled Jennifer with one of her tails. Jennifer couldn't resist and giggled as she tried to shove the tail away from her. Samantha giggled herself at the display before her and said: "Well... not really. You remember how I told you how I wanted to adopt my trainer?" Manda stopped her tickling and gave the girl some space to breath. She looked to Samantha and nodded. "Well, let me introduce you to our new daughter: Jennifer Fireflower." Samantha said with a hint of pride in her voice. Manda looked from the girl to her wife and back. "You mean... this is... and we will be..." Manda tried to say but stuttered. Samantha giggled at the stuttering of her wife and said with a nod: "Yes. We are finally parents to a really cute baby girl." The Ninetales stood there for a while without moving a muscle. Then a large smile crept over her muzzle and she yelled: "YES! We are PARENTS! I can't believe it! We really have a child of our own! Oh, I just know she will love it here with time. We can go to the Park to play, have cute tea parties with some Plushie's, oh and she will totally love all the cute outfits we have already prepared for her and..." Samantha chuckled, patted her on the head and said: "Let's not get overboard. We maybe should show her, her new room first. Then we can prepare dinner. It's already pretty late." Manda chuckled and blushed a bit: "Yes, I think you are right. What do you say, sweetie? You want to see your new room?" Asked Manda and brushed a tail lovely over Jennifer cheek. The tail felt soft and warm... "Like the touch of a mother..." thought Jennifer and just nodded. Overwhelmed by the amount of love she felt from them both. "Let's go then! We can already dress you for bedtime while we are there." said Manda and walked the hallway along followed by Samantha carrying Jennifer in a cradled position. Jennifer head laid on Samantha's chest and she could hear her calming heartbeat. She almost fell asleep, but a light chuckle and a stroking sensation on her cheek kept her awake. "Don't fall asleep yet, Jenny. We still need to show you your new room and dress you for dinner and bedtime." Said Samantha while stroking with the tip of her nose along Jennifer's cheek. Jennifer giggled a bit and said: "Hihihi. Your nose feels cold." Samantha giggled too and they both entered a dark room. Manda switched the light on and it took Jennifer a few second to adjust her eyes. What she saw, well, was actually exactly what she expected to see when she ever get's adopted by a Pokemon Family... It was a pink painted nursery room. With a large crib in one corner, a big Playpen in the middle filled with stuffed Pokemon dolls and some blocks and, what she feared the most, a large changing table standing at one wall filled with diapers and other baby-caring supplies. Samantha looked at the stunned face of her daughter and said: "I know this is a big change for you and you will not accept this new life right away. But I want you to know, we do this because we love you and want only the best for you." Jennifer was still stunned. She really didn't expected her own Pokemon would treat her like a baby. Samantha gave the stunned Jennifer a kiss on the cheek and carried her over to the changing table to lie her down. Manda already begun to get all the necessary supplies to put her new baby girl in a diaper. Jennifer came out of her stun as Samantha begun to undress her. "What are you doing? I don't need a diaper! You should know I'm already potty trained!" She screamed in anger at her Pokemon. Samantha kept undressing her and said: "I know, sweetie. But this is like starting a new life in this new world. And the best start is right from the beginning. This will be a new start for both, Pokemon and Human, together. We want you to life with us together as equals, as one family." Jenny was now sitting on the changing table with just her underwear and Samantha pushed her into a lying position. Jennifer resisted and kept sitting. Samantha looked to Manda for help and Manda used her tails to keep Jennifer lied down while Samantha now took Jennifer's underwear. Manda used another tail to move something in Jennifer's mouth. It was a Pacifier! Noticed Jennifer. "That will help to calm your nerves, hon." said Manda and kept the Pacifier with her tail in her daughters mouth. Jennifer moved her head from side to side, but the Tail moved with her and kept the Pacifier in place. She then noticed Samantha lifting her legs and moved a rather thick diaper under her bottom. As her legs came down again, she could feel the soft material and it was like lying on a cloud. She then could smell the baby powder that was spread over her lower body and heard the crinkling of the diaper as it was lifted between her legs and lied on her stomach. The ripping sound of the tapes signaled the finishing touch. She was now really back in diapers like a baby. But her new "mommies" were not finished yet. Samantha pulled something from under the table that Jennifer couldn't see and asked Manda what she thought. "I think that will be looking lovely on our little kit." she said. Jennifer thought about what they could mean as she suddenly felt how something was pulled over her legs and up to cover her diaper. She felt a little bump on her rear and soon Mandas tails loosed their grip and Jennifer was sat up on the table. "Now lift your hands, sweetie." Said Samantha and Jennifer know there was no resistance... for now... and lifted her arms. Samantha pulled a yellow shirt over her head and adjusted it before taking a step back and looking at her now dressed baby daughter. "You look just LOVELY darling!" said Manda. "Just like your mommy Samantha." Jennifer didn't know what she meant and looked herself over. The Yellow shirt and diaper cover pants had the same color like a Fennekin. Then she looked behind her and saw the pants had actually a little yellow plush pommel with a red tip attached to it. It looked really like a tail from a Fennekin! "Oh! But there is a little think missing. One moment." Said Manda and got another item from under the table. Before Jennifer know what happened, she had a Yellow bonnet on her head with two red plushies hanging on the side. Samantha took her from the table and cradled her in her arm as she moved over to a full body mirror in the room. "Just look sweetie. You are really adorable as you are. And we will make sure you are always safe with us." said Samantha and Jennifer looked in the Mirror. She saw Samantha in her dress and holding what looked firstly like a Fennekin. But Jennifer then noticed it was her! She wore a bonnet with a white Ribbon under her chin and two big puffy yellow ears on top with a red fluffy material coming out from it and hanging beside her cheeks. She looked like a humanized Fennekin!
  3. Schizophrenia

    Well, today I took my mother down to another city about 300 miles from where I am at. she was wanting to see a doctor that basically does not exist......... well, he kinda does, anyway, I drove her around for 5 hours in a city I had never been to before. Of course I had thought of saying "Its all in your head" but its not a good Idea....... My dad said that to her years ago and the next thing he knew his work truck was missing and my mother took off to Los Angeles with it. Yeah, thats kinda what I am dealing with. I googled the doctors name she said and found it, one state over. I am thinking of having him talk to her as if he is the doctor that my mother is looking for. It would give her some Mental "Closure". I could tell my mother was upset since she could not locate this doctor I just want to do something to give her Closure. She tells me she "Needs" to talk to this doctor. I feel lost 95% of the time she is pretty much....... Normal, heck.
  4. Amanda Lana

    Hi! I'm Amanda Lana. And I'm a client of the AB hospital created by Doctor Elizabeth Hipstress and her sister, Doodle. Oh? You ask who these people are? Well, let me tell you how I met them. I was just traveling one day on my way to an AB/DL con, mostly cause I like role playing with friends from far away; some of them travel here, when suddenly, I started to run out of gas. Damn old car! Eats up gas like a rabid bulldog. Always hated this car; cost too much to use and eats up my diaper money. Now, I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and my old GPS doesn't seem to recognize this road. Though I hate to do it, looks like I'll have to start finding a gas station or place to help me call a tow truck. Carrying what I could, I walked through the woods, hoping to find any form of civilization or, at least, nice people who won't ask stupid questions about my AB lifestyle. Some people are so nosy. No, I don't care that anyone knows I'm AB but, I'm an adult, so it's none of their damn business. Well, as I walked through the woods, I used up my last diaper and was starting to worry. I left the old diaper behind wrapped in a plastic bag I had for things like this behind because I am not carrying that the rest of my trip. I walked some more through the woods and was getting hungry when I saw a big white building. I looked at it oddly, wondering why the hell would a hospital be out here in the middle of the woods. As I came to the house I saw two young women leaving in a car. At first, I didn't think anything of it, then knocked on the door and was hoping someone would open because it looked like it was starting to rain. The door opened and a motherly sounding voice greeted me as I entered; which is interesting though I wasn't sure if I should trust it yet. I looked around and the place looked empty except for some strange contraptions. Everything was so curious and oddly, when suddenly, one of the contraptions was... Sniffing me! The hell? I looked at it a lil puzzled, then it lifted me and I just demanded it put me down, but it strapped me to a table and started changing me. Just then, they came in hearing my screams and they told me to calm down and let it finish changing me. I did as they said and I blushed caused it put me in a thicker diaper then I had. I looked at them and the person I would soon know as Elizabeth said that it thinks I made a big enough mess for a thicker diaper and I scolded the bot and said I don't poop that much, then I was spanked with a thick paddle and blushed more. Elizabeth said they have high authority over most of the clients at her hospital and I asked where am I then she said, "This is the Adult-baby Hospital, the place for AB/DLs to be cared for and loved by them or their AB parents or lovers. AB hospital? I looked at her curiously and asked her if she is serious and she said she is very serious and that I was welcome to stay along as I wanted and enjoy the other clients. Hmm. Sounds promising. I noticed a young looking person curled up in the corner and looked like they were sleeping and I then asked Lizzy, my name for her, to which she thinks is cute, who that was in the corner and she said that was their pet. I tilted my head, then noticed the cattail as they woke up and stretch. I noticed as she looked at me that she was a girl then she walked to me curiously and started sniffing me. I smiled and watched her but then suddenly she started to hiss and growl at me and I backed away wondering what did I do, then suddenly, a young looking girl with what looked like bat wings came to her and tried to calm her down. I quickly asked if I did anything wrong, but she said that she doesn't trust strangers and will be awhile before she'll trust me. I then asked if she is an AB but she blushed and hid behind her pet and she looked at the girl and tilted her head. I wondered if I offended her with my question then I kneeled down reached my hand out to the cat girl and she curiously started sniffing it, but she hissed again at me. I guessed she was protective of her, so I decided to walk away from them and checked out the place. It was a cool looking place with everything to make me feel at home and Lizzy and Doodle were the caretakers and looked like they do a good job. I wondered if they are ever mothers for any of these clients and if they allow sexual favors. Hmm. Personally, I find sexual favors a lil distracting and a lil disturbing in AB relationships. *shudders* Eww. They should be separate I think, but that's opinion; some people like that's kinda thing. I looked for Lizzy and wanted to ask her how and where am I going to sleep and live in before I start doing anything. I found her changing Doodle's diaper and I quickly looked away and blushed red. "Are you ok, hun?" Lizzy asked and I said a lil nervously, still feeling embarrassed"Umm, What exactly are the rules of your hospital, Lizzy? Do I have to do or pay for anything to live here?" and she replied,"No. No one has to pay here. Everything I get is donated and lucky for me, it's a lot. I wouldn't be able to pay for all this on my own.", then I started thinking,"So she's doing this as a service? Hmm, does that make her an AB? Hmm. I wonder if she asks for client info on her clients.". I then asked her if she keeps records on her clients as she was finishing up diapering Doodle as she said"Yes, I do. I want to understand their needs and habits as ABs or DLs and be the mother they want. I--"I interrupted her and asked,"Wait. Wait. Wait. You're a mother to your clients?" and replied saying,"Yes. In a sense, I am their mother for I am the caretaker of all them and treat them as children. My only rules are 1. I can kick them out if they cause trouble for my other clients, 2. I will not allow sexual play in my hospital. If they want that, they can do it at their house or at a bar, 3. People under age of 19 or over the age of 60 are not allowed in here; reason: cause I don't want to get arrested so parents aren't allowed to bring their kids here, though I do try to have a family-friendly environment here and I don't want perverts or mentally disturbed old people harassing my clients. Yes. I know not all, not old people have mental problems, but it's my rule. Besides, they might hurt themselves here.". Wow. That's strict. Note: I'll try and upload the rest when I can. Also, at the moment, the series is a work in progress.
  5. You've been a naughty boy

    I knew I'd gone too far this time. I was always teasing my little sister and making her cry, but this time she was really sobbing. Mummy came into the room and saw us. She knew immediately what I'd done. "Right", she said. "I've had enough of your naughtiness. It seems grounding you and removing your TV priviledges aren't sufficient. So this time I have a punishment for you that I'm sure will work." I listened apprehensively, wondering what on earth she could mean. When she continued I was filled with dread. "Take off your trousers and underpants. You won't be needing them for the rest of the day."
  6. Body and Mind

    Hey guys, its been a long time since I posted anything at all. I thought I would give something a little more serious (not fappy) a chance. Was trying hard to come up with something with a little more originality. So I hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment good or bad, I'm open to opinions, one way or the other. ...Body and Mind... Carolyn clutched the adjoined rings with her left hand. A habit she'd picked up whenever she was nervous. The cold steel, or whatever the rings were made of, felt good between her fingers. Her index finger slowing slipping in and out of the holes, while her other fingers ran against the grainy exterior, feeling all the little bumps that made up the lettering engraved on the outside. The sigh and deep breath that followed was brief, but fulfilling. She crumpled the notice, shoved it in a half empty (or half full if she'd been in a better mood) bottle of Mt. Dew, and tossed it with a thud into the dinky black garbage can next to her computer. "I've got this... right?" She playfully asked Izzy. Izzy, of course offered no real reply other than to look up and smile at her mommy. "Well, at least you're happy with me." Carolyn sighed again, reaching up once more to fidget with her necklace with her worn rings dangling from the bottom. It had been a harder year than she'd expected. But who ever knew how a year was going to go before it had past? It wasn't like she'd given up trying. No, in fact, she'd busted her ass this year to make sure they both had everything they needed. Sure, they could live in a nicer house. Sure, they could eat fancier meals. And sure, she could drive a nicer car. But she felt, no, she just knew that she was doing great. Everything had fallen apart at once, and putting things back together was not something that happened overnight. Besides, at twenty three years old, she had the rest of her life to put things back together. "Let's grab a bath booger." she said, already slipping both hands under Izabella arms, and making her way to the bathroom. "Getting heavy eh? Can't wait till you're capable of taking your own bath. I could use one with bubbles and wine..." She stood Izzy up on the bathroom floor, and began the arduous task of undressing an almost two year old. "You need bubbles?" She asked, quickly stripping herself. "Or are we..." "Yep!" was exclaimed before anything else had a chance to leave her mouth. Carolyn sat in the tub, calmly washing Izzy, allowing the stress from earlier to seep back into her mind. "I'm falling apart Izzy, and I don't know what to do." Izzy's turned to face her mother, her curly wet hair blocked her eyes, but not the smile she always wore. The all too familiar blood rushed feeling began to warm her face. That slight burning behind her eyes. She fought for a moment, realized it was a losing battle, and allowed the tears to flow. Not wanting Izzy to know she was upset, she stifled the sobs and huffs. The hitching in her chest between taking in and letting out air was impossible to disguise though, and Izzy pushed the hair out from her eyes, curled up next to her mother's neck, and begin to fidget with the necklace herself. "Don't cry mommy." Izzy whispered, hugging her mom. As if she'd asked her to cry harder, Carolyn broke down into a sob-fest. "I'm... okay baby..." She tried to say, fighting once more the catch in her chest. "Mommies... sometimes they have to cry too..." "What I did?" Izzy asked gently, with a sound of guilt in her voice. "No baby, never you... Never ever you..." This conversation would surely add more to Carolyns already full plate. The last thing she needed was her one source of happiness in this world feeling guilty for watching her mother cry. "You're my everything baby. Never forget I love you." "I love you mommy." ----- She'd laid Izzy down for bed a full hour ago. Since then she'd been trying to get comfortable in her own bed without all these thoughts drifting through her head. Didn't seem to matter how laid out the sheets were, how fluffy her pillow seemed, whether the fan was blowing on her, or just on and circulating the air in the room around. She was going to be rolling around in bed with no real chance of rest in the forseeable future. Her stress, well most of it anyway, had started shortly after high school. Her family life was always hopeless. Her mother was a drunk, whom she would have nothing to do with anymore. Her father had never been around, and when he was, he was just as plastered as her mother. He died shortly after Carolyn had moved out. Carolyn had attended the funeral, but really hadn't cried much. It wasn't as if she was happy about it, but its hard to find an emotional attachment to someone or anyone who spent more time hugging a bottle than his own daughter. Besides, she'd already lost someone that year. The only person she ever really had any attachment to in her family had been her Grandfather. He lived in Eastern China her entire life, and she'd only ever met him once. She was about eight years old, and he'd come in to visit his son before embarking on what he called "Hopefully, the most memorable trip of my life." He only stayed for about a week, but spent every moment he was at their home with Carolyn. It was the most attention she'd ever gotten from any adult. After he had left, he made sure to send Carolyn a letter a month, talking about where he'd gone, where he'd be going, what he'd learned, and where she could send a reply if she wanted to. She always sent a reply when she knew he would get it. Their relationship stayed this way, always through letters, until she recieved a letter from a lawyer saying she was to come to his office to collect what he had left for her. No warning, no funeral, just a letter from a lawyer. The one person she'd really felt close to, even though he was never near, had just dropped off the face of the earth. That was two nights after her graduation from high school, and a week before she moved out from her parents house... Her trip to the lawyer had been mostly uneventful, albeit an overly emotional one. She was the only one he had left anything to, so it was just her in the receptionist's office, waiting and crying for what felt like hours. When the lawyer called her back he seemed ready to get this day over with, and hardly had any patience for her sobbing. He simply handed her an envelope, one of those big bubble wrap manilla ones, and a stack of papers. He quickly told her that all the paperwork had been filled out, all she had to do was sign at the end of the contract, and that everything else he would take care of. "What is all this?" She'd asked through the tissue she'd been using to clear her eyes.. "Bob, your grandfather, left his entire inheritance to you. He didn't own much more than the clothes on his back, and the rings in the envelope. But he did have quite a sum of money that has been collecting intrest since he left for China." "How did he die? Do you know? Nobody has told me anything..." She pulled her scrambled blonde hair back behind her ears, and tried to compose herself a little better. The lawyer huffed a bit, and sat back in his chair, realizing this wasn't going to be a quick conversation or an in and out visit. "He hasn't actually been 'found dead' so to speak. But he was supposed to meet with a group of travelers at the end of long trek, and never showed." "So he may still be out there somewhere?" Carolyn's voice raised, enthusiasm for the first time since she recieved this rude lawyer's letter in the mail. "Why call me in if he is still alive?" "Carolyn was it?" The lawyer looked at her gravely for a moment, and she nodded her head in response. "Carolyn, he was supposed to meet with them over two months ago... The forest he was traveling through was and is far from fully explored, and he wouldn't be the first person to ever vanish traveling through it." Her head hung, "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to ask, I wouldn't be here at all if you thought there was a chance... would I?" "No mam, I'm sorry... If you'll just sign the papers, I'll take care of the bank and trust that he has set up for you." The lawyer pushed the paperwork closer to her as he spoke. Carolyn picked up the pen, scratched her name over the dotted line, and pushed the papers back to him. "How much did he leave me exactly?" "In acordance to his will, you are to recieve one-thousand dollars a month until you reach the age of thirty, at which point you will recieve the entire inheritance of five hundred and thirty four thousand dollars." The lawyer had smiled when he started the sentence, but by the end it was clear he was jealous, as his teeth had begun to clinch. She left the lawyer's office no happier than she had come in. Carolyn had never been interested in money. Although, knowing she didn't have to worry about money ever again was relieving, she'd much rather have a letter from her grandfather in the mail. On her way home, she opened the envelope. Inside was the last letter she'd ever read from her Grandfather. "I hope you're doing well sweet-pea. Where I'm going I next I can't be sure I'll get out alright. So I've written this as a 'just in case.' You know, these things are a lot more difficult to write than you'd think. You want to make sure you say everything you can, but when it comes right down to it, you can't think of a thing to say. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you're reading this I know you aren't taking my death with a grain of salt. I'm so sorry that we didn't get more time together, but I want you to know that every step I take out here doesn't hit the ground without a thought of you in my head. I had no idea what I was missing till I had come back and met you. I'm sure you've grown into a beautiful young lady, and I know that you'll be going places in your life. I hope and wish that I get to see you again. Carolyn, these rings have always been special to me. I found them in one of the many abandoned temples that we've wandered through on our journeys here. They are said to bring the body and mind together, and are strengthened by the happiness that the wearer possesses. If you ever find yourself in a darkness you can't find the light for, please, close your eyes and find me in your heart." Her tears stained the letter, smearing the last line of her grandfather's beautiful note to her. She tried to wipe them off of the letter, but only managed to smudge the ink further. Rather than ruin it more, she folded it back and tried to slide it back in the envelope. The paper stuck about mid way down, and she remembered the rings that were inside. Carolyn tilted the envelope, allowing the rings to fall into her cupped hand. The shine off of both of them was what surprised her to begin with. Carolyn was sure they would be old and rusted, but the sun glinting off of them was almost like a mirror. She rolled them around in her hand for a moment, and realized they were interlocked together. She tucked her purse under her arm, and tried to pull them apart, as if it were some kind of magic trick she could just undo. Seeing this was in effort in futility, she stopped and stared at the inscriptions instead. The rings were circled with what she could only assume was some form of chinese, but she could tell the lettering was different from one ring to the other. Carolyn unsnapped the less than fancy necklace she had worn to the lawyers office from around her neck, and looped the rings through it. She would take a better look at them when she got home, and wasn't so upset. Her pain over her grandfather's passing of course healed with time. But its always hardest to let go of someone or something when things can't seem to fall into place afterwards. Her mother, having found out about the money that was left to Carolyn, tried to take her to court. She failed to recieve any kind of portion of it herself, but managed to put a greater distance between her daughter and herself. This episode of Carolyn's life showed her what 'people who love you' would do when it came to making their lives easier, and Carolyn's relationships with everyone else, friends included, suffered due to her newly untrusting nature. It wasn't Carolyn's fault, she'd been put aside her whole life, found someone worth a damn, and they too had been snatched away from her. Carolyn forced herself to open up a bit more when she realized how lonely life really can be by a year or two later. She'd finally reconnected with the friends she had disassociated with, and all at once, things seemed to be getting better. Carolyn had spent most of her school life feeling like she was worth less than nothing. So she hadn't gotten out to date much. Crushes were still a part of her life, hell, no one got through middle school or high school without crushing on someone. The idea that she was worth a single guy she thought about was out of the questiong though. Needless to say, when she finally found someone who smiled at her, she fell hard and fast for him. She'd been so hopelessly in love. Of course, that seemed a lifetime ago. In fact, it had been, Izabella's lifetime ago. His name was Mark, "Marks are always so cute!" she remembered telling a friend when she'd first met him. He was sweet, sincere, and always had something romantic planned. She just knew they would spend the rest of their lives together. They hadn't been dating for even three months when he asked if they should get a place together. Knowing he was the perfect guy, she didn't hesitate to say yes. Their house was small, but it was perfect for the two of them. In her mind, it was the dream house. The one car they shared was hers from before they got together. He didn't work, but had been trying hard to find a place that would cover all the bills that her inheritance didn't take care of. "Besides," he told her, "I don't want to rely on your money to take care of us forever." They spent their summer enjoying themselves at a little beach spot they had found in a vacation guide together. She had been putting away plenty of money from her Grandfather's gift from month to month, and had quite a hefty sum put away at this point. So she paid for everything out of her account. One night, they had both had quite a few drinks, something Carolyn didn't normally do as it reminded her far too much of her parents. And Mark wanted to grab another bottle of wine from the store across from the condo they'd been staying at. She threw her bank card at him, and told him the pin code. They had been going out for about 10 months, and that was the last time she'd ever see him again. She stayed an extra day at the beach, a part of her hoping that he was just involved in some kind of accident, or kidnapped. Anything other than the thought that he could have run. In tears the next morning, she called a cab to take her back home. Everything was gone when she'd gotten out of the cab and back to their dream house. The television, all their dvds, but most importantly, all her money. Everything she'd saved up, gone in an instant. She kept kicking herself, "How could I be so STUPID!" She started over from scratch, she still had her job, a meek little print shop that she attended the front of as their receptionist. It didn't pay much, but it didn't need to. But she decided to move out of the house they had gotten together. Well, the house she had gotten for them. Her car was gone with him, so she picked up a little used one for the time being, telling herself that she would get something better after she had some time to save again. She closed her bank account, and started a new one, making sure that the jerk lawyer from years ago put everything in the right order again to have the money direct deposited into the new one. It wasn't long after she got everything organized and back in order that she started getting sick in the mornings, and the afternoons, and at night... She decided on Izabella, it was the first 'sweet' name that popped into her heart. Her Grandfather had always told her to go with the first thing she thought of, it tended to be the better decision. Although, she clearly thought more about things with a larger impact on her life now. But Izabella felt right, and she couldn't shy away from that name after she'd thought about it. She was born perfectly healthy, with only a handful of friends in the waiting room, and no family at all. Carolyn felt truly happy for the first time in her adult life. Nothing could take away the feeling of elation she had deep within her. ----- Crying in the other room woke her from her thoughts. She rustled with the sheets, practically throwing them off of her and the bed, and made her way down the hall with a sippy cup of juice. "Shhh... What is it Izzy?" She whispered as she cracked the door. Standing in her bed, pointing into her closet, was Izabella. Her sobbing began to relent as she eyed her mother. Her arms by instinct went up, wanting to be held. Carolyn obliged with renewed vigor, tired of being alone to her thoughts anyway. "Izzy baby... calm down..." she spoke softly walking to the closet, "there is nothing to be afraid of." Closing the closet door all the way, she walked back to the bed and sat down, holding Izzy against her chest. Izabella's crying died down, and soon became heavy breathing. When Carolyn was sure that Izzy was back to sleep, she slipped her hand behind her head, and laid her back into her bed. "How nice it must be to be upset and still fall asleep..." she sighed, grasping her rings. "I need to let this go. I can't change the past, and there is no way to relive it differently." She squeezed the rings once more, heard the clink of them tapping one another, and let them hang once more around her neck. Carefully cracking the bedroom door as she left, not wanting her to wake again, and made her way back to her bedroom. Carolyn threw the sheets back over herself and put her head down. "Lets give this another try..." and closed her eyes. Carolyn pictured a brick wall, and started to count the bricks. Just before passing out that night her hand went back to her necklace, she played with the space between the ring and the necklace. Not noticing that there was only one around her neck now...
  7. Isabella Candie

    From the album My art

    One of the main nurses and Doodle's caretaker. Note: This is an old drawing of her and I tried to fix it as best I could.