Enthusi

I consider myself fortunate insofar as I did quite well with behavioral and psychological techniques worked. I know others who’ve tried every Jedi mind trick they could think of to no avail. I wish I knew what the secret sauce was because then I would proudly announce it. Instead I would say that I had a good results once I started to “accept” that I’m incontinent and my control will never again be normal. That allowed me to give my poor tired achy bladder muscles all the time off they needed.

Hi everyone! I’ve been reading many of your updates and thought it would be fun to share my experience after about seven years of wearing diapers full-time. Here’s how things have changed for me and what it’s like today. Background: What “Full-Time” Means for Me When I say full-time, I mean I wear diapers exclusively. I sometimes cheat and use the big boy potty for number 2. My bowel control has slipped a little but it’s still good enough, and I’m fine keeping it this way. On the other hand, bladder is a different story. What It Feels Like Short answer: It’s amazing! Longer answer: It’s not at all what I expected or like the stories you read online. Focusing on bladder control, it’s now very unpredictable. Sometimes, I don’t feel anything until I check my diaper and realize I’ve wet myself. I dribble a lot, enough to change the line on a cheapo diaper after a hour on so. More often, I experience “unauthorized wettings,” where I suddenly notice I’m peeing without feeling any urge beforehand. My bladder tends to empty as soon as it feels any pressure—almost reflexively. Bladder Sensations: Meaningless Data Even though I still feel bladder pressure, the sensation is pretty meaningless. I can feel “full,” but it doesn’t matter because I’ll void whether I feel the need or not. It’s become non-actionable. For me, bladder sensations have lost their significance, and I’ve forgotten what it’s like to consciously hold it in. Resetting the System to Factory Default Physically, my bladder now operates much like an infant’s—completely reflexive. Once it reaches a certain threshold, it empties automatically. My external sphincter muscle has defaulted to an “open mode”—I can still flex it, but it tires quickly and reverts to being relaxed. There’s a lot of debate about whether the bladder shrinks over time, but honestly, it’s irrelevant. What matters is the practical reality: regardless of how big or small my bladder is, I wouldn’t trust myself without a diaper. My system has been reset to its factory default, and diapers are now essential. Nighttime Wetting: A Mixed Bag Nighttime is unpredictable. Sometimes, I wake up just as my bladder gives out, other times mid-stream, mostly I don’t remember wetting at all. Once in a blue moon I wake up dry. Occasionally, it even shows up in my dreams in bizarre ways—like wetting during a dream shower or as a video game character leaking oil! There’s no consistent pattern. One strange thing is that I usually wake up without feeling any bladder pressure, but the moment I sit up—or even just reach for my phone—I suddenly feel my bladder drain. It’s like the act of moving triggers the sensation. That a not to mention gravity incontinence. The Challenge of Making Diapers Mundane Over time, the novelty of wearing diapers fades, but I’m more content now than ever. It’s become routine, but that doesn’t mean the journey is complete. Every time I think my control can’t get worse, it does. There are still plenty of challenges. Vacations are never easy, saving money is always a concern, and managing leaks takes effort. To succeed in this lifestyle, you really need to adopt a challenge mindset—seeing these obstacles as part of the process. Viewing them as validating your need for diapers makes the routine feel rewarding and helps you stay grounded in the decision. Public Interactions: Surprisingly Uneventful I’m always amazed at how little attention people pay. Despite my self-consciousness, I can’t recall a single time anyone asked or commented about my diaper. I’ve gone through TSA, medical appointments, and even discussed it with my urologist, and it’s just not a big deal and I fear. I have fired a few doctors who refused to believe me when I said i manage just fine with diapers and not interested in further treatment. But that’s the exception, not the rule. You learn to be your own advocate. Trust me that didn’t happen overnight. There’s so much more to say, but instead of more rambling, feel free to ask me any questions! I’m happy to share more of my journey if anyone is interested. TL;DR: After seven years, my bladder control is gone, but I’m totally okay with it.

First, welcome back. Do keep us updated on ur journey as it can be quite lonely at times. Second… I’m confused why you are trying to come up with ways to help force yourself to continue wearing diapers if it becomes too inconvenient or the novelty wears off. It seems like an oppressive burden to be placing on yourself. Wearing diapers full time is a hell of a lot of work. Think about it: you’re swapping out a free, highly effective and socially acceptable method of managing ur waste, with an expensive taboo inefficient option. It’s okay if u need a break or it gets stale. You can always come back later and try again.

Been at this for years myself. My bladder control is wrecked, both day and night and I strongly suspect I crossed some threshold where I’m going to be “stuck” in diapers for the rest of my life… And it’s just as exciting and fun and novel as it was all those years ago. 😎❤️ I do miss the thrill of untraining in the sense of having a project to work on. Untraining is exceedingly difficult and takes an immense amount of dedication. However, there’s still plenty to keep myself occupied: 1. Enjoyment in helping others. I love reading updates from others and giving tips and on other social media platforms. This is a very difficult journey and it’s misunderstood and not many of us, so support is critical. 2. My journey isn’t over, even if I am diaper dependent. Every time I think my continence can’t get worse it does. Most of my “progress” recently is psychological. I find I’m losing the continence mentality, and my bladder capacity* continues to shrink. I remember being able to go hours without having to potty, but for the life of me I don’t remember how I did it. It’s so hard to explain and I’m still wrapping my brain around it. 3. Wearing 24/7 takes a lot of planning and energy. There are always new twists and situations to work through, such as traveling. Even if I am more adept at planning, it still requires a lot of time and attention 4. My relationship with diapers continued to evolve. They are still a thing of comfort and joy and everything else. But now also my clothing and a necessity. * I’m referring to reductions in my functional bladder capacity. I don’t know if the bladder physically shrinks. But I would argue for my purposes it’s moot, if I can’t function in society withiut a diaper on.

This is great! Actually, it’s in line with my whole approach which I developed for myself, which is to be more scientific about untraining: Breaking the aspects of untraining to their core components and developing targeted strategies to hit each component. Just as you alluded to… again kudos! That said, by far the most important aspect is psychological / identity component. That is, learning to see yourself as incontinent and diaper-dependent, even if it doesn't fully match your physical reality, is key. Hypnosis can help with that mindset shift. There are also some good psychological tricks to help this go better. For instance, consider that you can’t say you’re completely successfully toilet trained if you lack the basic desire to stay dry.… 😎

I could literally copy and paste for myself. It was definitely a progression for me as well. Initially, I would wake up to pee and go to sleep slowly that melted into half awake twilight type wetting, which eventually became waking up as I started peeing which became sleeping through it, but remembering and eventually no memory. Finally, wetting multiple times at night. Everyone’s progression is different, just as every baby is different. Some babies wet a lot during their sleep, some not so much. That said it does help wearing 24/7 🙂 Back to the topic at hand… These days my bladder and sleep schedule are totally asynchronous. I could fall asleep on a full bladder just as easily as an empty. Most nights, I wake up in the AM soaked no memory. Sometimes I can recall wetting in a dream. Sometimes in the dream it’s not wetting, but something else. As an example, one time I dreamt I was a robot and oil was seeping out of my belly. Sometimes peeing wakes me up, and momentarily confused what’s going on. Sometimes a bladder spasm will wake me up and I will feel my bladder give out so to speak. In rare occasions I will wake up dry with a bursting bladder. Though even in those cases, it’s moot because I can’t possibly make it to the bathroom and untape my diaper in time so I just use it anyways. How do I feel about it? It’s one of these things where it just feels right and, overall I love it, which is good because I strongly suspect I’m “stuck” in diapers for life. 😍 That said, being an adult bedwetter suuuuuuucks. I constantly worry my bedroom smells like pee. I spend a fortune on premium diapers because I am such a heavy wetter. But most annoying is traveling. I get really nervous about leaks when staying somewhere. I always have to pack disposable bedwetting sheets in addition to diapers. And of course there’s the privacy thing, especially if it’s warm. I really miss being able to pack everything for a weekend getaway in a carry on. Sigh…. And even so, I still have NO REGRETS. People are always like be careful what you wish for, and there’s a big difference between fantasy and reality of incontinence. To which I say, ya! I know! 🙄 Besides, the fact that I have to deal with the same hassles of managing chronic nocturnal enuresis as anyone else dealing with it, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. ☺️ TL;DR- I’m a sleep wetter, been that way for years now, and I love it, which is good because otherwise I would hate it.

I can’t even imagine not being self conscious about my diaper when in public. It never stops me from living my life. But it’s on my mind nonetheless.

@BabyCody27 to answer your question about does the novelty wear off? I can only speak for myself but the short answer is no! Over the years my relationship with diapers has evolved such that it’s always new and fresh to me. They still represent all the good feelz that we as ABDLs appreciate. But they also are like a pair of glasses, in that they are part of me. So, I’ve also learned to appreciate diapers for the functional purpose. They keep me dry. Also, it’s been decades since I tried my first adult diaper, and it’s great to see how far things have come. It’s more important for me to find a good diaper now more than ever. Im proud that I now have a “history” with diapers. I love trying new products and discussing new innovations in the adult diaper world.

Oh totally! Actually, while in the process of rewarding yourself like that, repeatedly remind yourself what a good boy/girl you are. Works like a charm. Or so I hear… 😇 PS … Extra shoutout to you, for phrasing it as “when” you wake up on the morning. That’s the positive mindset! 👍

Just curious if anyone else has read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits. Here’s a summary, though as with all summaries like this, it doesn’t do the book justice: https://thebooklore.com/atomic-habits-summary/ I’m not sure how Mr. Clear would feel about it, but his approach works quite well for achieving diaper dependency. For example, starting with how you identify, and then shaping your small daily lifestyle decisions around that. A critical part of untraining is learning to identify as someone who is diaper dependent. Start there, and work outwards. Even if you have no interest in losing bladder or bowel control (I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want that, but to each their own! 🤷‍♂️) it’s great for any lifestyle change that appeals to you.

This speaks to my soul, @Kaliborio! It’s the damndest thing, because you would think, how can maintaining continence be considered work? I mean, most two year olds can figure it out. And, in my case I was able to stay dry for much of my childhood. But it just sucked so much to manage. Staying dry felt like chore that I hated but was responsible for managing full time with no breaks. I wish I could describe it better.

I try to stick to a consistent schedule for diaper changes. That way I don’t have to worry as much about how wet I am. That was a problem I experienced a few years ago, and I had a period of a few months with lots of leaks. It took care of the problem. Though the downside is that there are times when my diaper is only 50-65% saturated but it’s time for a scheduled change. In those cases it’s game time decision if I want to change, or wait a tad longer. That said, I think the bigger adjustment is having to have extra diapers nearby at all times.

I also worked with a personal professional erotic hypnotist. We spent a lot of time on my identity. What are my barriers to seeing myself as incontinent and how can we overcome them? As for guided imagery I did a lot of work around having a rare medical condition called “Juvenile Regressive Incontinence.” I defined JRI as a poorly understood neurological condition. There are many symptoms to focus on. For instance in JRI, over exercising the external sphincter causes it to release a toxin that weakens it with further usage of the muscle. Also a lot of time spent learning to thank my diaper for keeping me dry because otherwise clothing and sheets and floor would be soaked. I realized a huge theme was accepting the inevitability of incontinence. It’s going to happen. Your bladder control will never be normal again.

Hi all, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my journey recently, and just how far I’ve progressed in my untraining. I’ve been 24/7 for about 7 years now, and it’s already been around 5-6 years since I actively started untraining. I developed my own technique, which was to understand precisely how bladder control develops in a kid, so that I could use an amalgamation of cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to reset myself back to factory default. It was a very scientific approach, though much easier said than done. There was no secret sauce, but though I don’t want to sell myself short either. These days my bladder control is completely wrecked, day and night. Staying dry seems like a super power to me. My sphincter has long since defaulted back to “open” / relaxed mode. I can clench the muscle, but it’s very weak and as soon as I forget it goes back to relaxed mode. Usually I have no sensation of needing to go, until BAM! Too late. Also because everything is so weak,there’s usually a bit of pee just sort of hanging out in the urethra. This means I’m usually damp to some degree. And because I’m damp, it’s harder for me to know how much I really have to pee, which further perpetuates my diaper dependency. Bladder sensations are basically “noise” to me at this point. When you’re wearing 24/7 and your bladder is on autopilot, and you feel damp, the feeling of bladder pressure is meaningless. If I pay attention, I can kind of tell how much I have to pee, but again it doesn’t matter. But even more than that, the continence mentality seems foreign to me. Potty training, fear of accidents, accidents… it all seems like a bunch of “work” to me. Ironically, being 24/7 is a heck of a lot more work than potty trained, but I don’t know, it’s just pee… I am curious how it is for others. I know there aren’t many like me, but I can’t be alone.

This is a fascinating topic! I can’t explain the reason other than it just feels right for me to not have bladder control. The worse it gets, the happier I am. My life if so much more complicated now that I have to wear diapers full time. All of the hassles of being 24/7… they never go away. And boy and how do those hassles suck! But the fact that I deal with them, the same as anyone else, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Hi all! I’m going to be going on a week-long Caribbean cruise in about a month. While I’m no stranger to traveling in diapers, or cruising, this is my first cruise since I’ve been diaper dependent. I’m going to be traveling with family, who knows I wear diapers out of necessity. I’m curious if others have cruised while in diapers full time? 1. Would it be better to pack a lot of thin cloth backed diapers, or even pull-ups? With it being so hot and us potentially in and out of the water, I think it makes sense to go thin. 2. Has anyone ran into issues getting searched when leaving ports to get back on the ship? Then again, does it matter? 3. What to wear for a top while on the ship. I don’t mind if my diaper accidentally pokes out a little bit. But I suspect it might be more than a little bit seeing as it’s a cruise ship… Other tips?

Hi friends, I’ve been reflecting a lot on how much of this journey is psychological. The further we go along the more it’s apparent this is “mind over matter”. The most subtle and perhaps profound examples is the continence mindset. By that, I mean our basic assumptions: 1. Mastery bowel and bladder control is an essential milestone of early childhood. 2. You should never, ever, leak urine. 3. Diapers are, generally speaking the last resort, other than for babies. These aren’t bad things. There’s an evolutionary advantage to being continent. But knowing that they are psychological construct and that malleable does help in my experience. It’s not easy, but it is doable.

Going full 24/7 to the point of tossing out your underwear and investing in cases of diapers and planning around vacations takes an immense amount of commitment. I suppose it’s theoretically possible to do it in a way that nobody in your household ever notices. But geez. I couldn’t imagine the practicality of not treating my diapers like underwear, when that’s what they are. In my experience the economics of cloth diapers don’t work out unless you go big on them and make them your full time thing, or hardly wear them. When you factor in the investment cost, the storage cost, laundry cost, and also the cost of the diapers, and plastic pants, you need to wear a lot of times for everything to pay for itself. Also remember that odor protection isn’t as robust with cloth diapers. And by “isn’t as robust” I mean virtually non existent. That said, that’s just my experience. If there’s a cloth-diaper enthusiast out there who begs to differ, please do! Trust me, I wish I could get cloth diapers to work out. Instead, OP, have a different suggestion: Enjoy wearing diapers as often as you can to the point where it doesn’t cause issues for you. It’s okay if you can’t commit to this lifestyle for decades. If you can, that’s amazing! If there’s a point where you diapers need to take a backseat, that’s life. Either way, good luck! Let us know how it goes. You got this. ❤️

Hi all, I wasn’t sure the right forum for this as it applies to “all of the above” so I apologize if this isn’t the right place. Due to a combination of intentional and unintentional factors I’ve been losing some weight. I tend to be on the cusp between medium and large, and traditionally I size up. But with the recent slimming down I feel like larges are just a tad too large now. This is weird. The diaper looks and feels so much more snug. I’m not used to feeling the tapes (with larges the tapes are over the front panel). So it’s simultaneously thinner and thicker feeling. The real test will be seeing how it holds up.

</Thread> I have to say in the excessive time I spent ruminating on this perceived rejection* I never considered this perspective. You’re right, I never went through the grief cycle, like so many others there did when they received the diagnosis of incontinence. My experience was more of a relief cycle. *This get’s to @oznl’s Uno Reverse question asking me why I get so offended when accused of faking it. The answer is quite simple: I wish I knew myself! It’s on my growing list of things to work through in therapy! 😂😬

Thats the other thing that bugs me about how much hate I received for not suffering with incontinence. many of us here are freaking EXPERTS in the urinary tract system, and have an encyclopedic knowledge of incontinence, management, and treatment, and we are creative problem solvers who deal with a different type of stigma, and because we live it 24/7. Like @Little Sherri said, their loss.

To be fair there are a lot of decent open minded folks on that website, just as there are some closed-minded folks here. But yeah, if some of the people on that forum only knew what you and I know… I never thought of it that way before. 😍 I think I took the positive affirming atmosphere here for granted when I branched out.

Oh I forgot to mention above, yeah I have rip roaring adhd and more than my share of anxiety. And wouldn’t you know it, the brain and body are connected. Funny thing is that I did mention adhd in my post on that forum and someone also dismissed that as a bogus excuse. For others like me and you, we know it’s not.

I’m not saying it’s good or bad. I’m just curious. Is it a Sample bias? Bad experience with ABDLs? A desire to maintain a gated community? An assumption that incontinence must cause suffering for it to count? Or am I off the mark on this one? I recently posted on an incontinence forum on a different website about how in I assumed my bladder control was normal to begin with. I got the idea after reading a different thread where someone said they were never good at sensing their bladder filling. I never knew that was a thing. But my whole life I’ve had a weird relationship with my bladder. I clearly remember being terrified of accidents and was always running to the bathroom and I would drain a full bladder. It’s like I was in constant reactive mode. That’s would explain why it felt burdensome to maintain control. Because it was assumed my bladder control was normal and I do have abdl tendencies, I never considered that other people get a more warning than I do that the have to go. And oh my goodness. Some people were supportive. But there were a vocal few who made it clear that it it’s impossible to become incontinent from untraining (it absolutely is. See: Functional incontinence and spiraling). They accused me of rewriting my narrative to say I was incontinent the whole time (I never said that. I said maintaining continence was perhaps more difficult for me than I gave myself credit for). They implied I was undeserving of sympathy (I never asked for sympathy). One person told me this belongs in fiction (it doesn’t), several people told me this doesn’t belong here. The crazy thing is that if you go to any urologist or primary care doctor and say that you suspect there might be some sensory issues that would explain why bladder control is difficult for you, they’d take it at face value. I know this because I’ve literally said to my urologist who I see for urinary incontinence. He nodded and agreed and went on to discuss various treatment options and other topics. I’ve disclosed my bladder control issues to several trusted friends and family, and trust me never once has anyone even thought of calling me out. I didn’t mention the ABDL stuff, but even if I did, I strongly suspect they still wouldn’t question. To be fair incontinence doesn’t come up in discussion that much. Turns out most people don’t really care that much how good or bad you are at controlling your pee, and how it came to be that way. Let me be clear: I get that people suffer from incontinence and they need a community space free of fetishists using them for masturbation material. I fully support gatekeeping in that situation because it is inappropriate. Help me understand it. I’m sure the people on that incontinence support forum had their reasons to demonize me for what I thought was a message in support of other incontinent folks like me. Either way I’m thankful for this lovely group. ❤️ Also… I’m curious others thoughts on if there is a *possible* sensory predisposition that would explain why some of us ABDLs prefer to be incontinent. But that’s a different convo different day.

This is great! I do this too but with an imaginary catheter being inserted.