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spark
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Posts posted by spark
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13 minutes ago, ValentinesStuff said:
15 yards, and 5 minutes in the timeout chair.
I almost broke the door to my closet this time, so 5 more minutes.
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I'm a 49er fan and I got so frustrated with the 3rd that I threw my pacifier on the floor.
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1 hour ago, BrownBobby said:
It says everything that you defend it as "being extreme." That's the extent I have to go to to have a CHANCE of you understanding how you're coming across. You are literally incapable of even beginning to accept that, just maybe, your intentions aren't matching what you're actually doing. But I'm done. You're incapable of understanding this from any other perspective than your own. Very well- there's a reason I normally leave your posts in my Ignored list.
Let's talk about ME, then. A subject I am, unabashedly, an expert on. I'm going to talk about the licensed mental health professionals I've seen, which are experts on mental health and the appropriate actions to take. Both of those premises, I hope, are so obviously self-true that I don't have to defend them.
But since I rather enjoy helping others see where this argument is being so wonderfully mis-applied, I will follow your logic, again, to the letter.
*I* alone don't disagree with you. Four licensed counselors disagree with you. Two urologists (not even including this surgeon!) disagree with you. An entire mental health crisis team disagrees with you. But it will never be enough for exactly the reason you laid out - you either have to defend your position despite all this evidence as still being right, or analyze it and determine that maybe it's much more complicated than the easy way you want it to be. Unfortunately, it takes willingness to do either of those things, so it kills my hope if it happening.
I *have* gotten help. Reference the previous list if you somehow don't remember. I've gotten lots and lots and lots of help. Do you know what the most common thing a professional says to me after going through all of this? "I understand how this is affecting you, and agree that you'd be better off incontinent. But I can't think of a good way to make it happen. I actually wish there was." But it says a lot that despite "all the help I'm getting condoning this," you still seem to think it's okay to act this way in general to people sharing information about stuff like this. If it was the first time, I would consider you a "random idiot on the internet." But boy, is it a pattern in so many topics in this forum.
Well, considering I also had it done, congratulations. You're poorly informed. I don't expect that to change anything about your viewpoint. You've already decided you're doing the Lord's work in this, can't possibly be in any way, shape, or form doing it incorrectly, and have no plans to change. I "got the Exacto knife" and turned out just fine as well. I also vetted the credentials of the doctor through multiple medical databases and legal checks, but hey, what the heck do I know, right? It's not like I've been obsessively researching topics like this my whole life because it's been a desire I've had for as long as I can remember, affecting my mental health in such dramatic ways that it's led to very dangerous outcomes, where all other methods of treatment for either the desires or the resulting mental conditions haven't led to a full recovery. Nope. Not at all. I must be self-harming.
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Again, I don't expect any actual change. You've already convinced yourself you're correct. And apparently if I am to accept your stance, it means I must be someone who's self-harming under goddamn supervision of about a dozen professionals in mental and urinary health. I care a lot more about the people who have this desire who, after reading multiple comments about how they must be wanting to self-harm and should not even consider options that might help reduce that harm, actually believe it and don't get help they could have had. For me, even knowing this WAS an option I could have pursued would have immensely relieved years of unpleasant stress, even if I didn't go through with it. Knowing there are options out there to help, helps. Telling someone "Make sure you want to do this, because it has a bunch of risks that might lead to bad things" is trying to help self-harm. Telling someone "you must be self-harming to even be considering this" is just being an ignorant, unhelpful asshole.
I find the phrase "You can't argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" is much more apt here. And this is me stepping away before that happens even more.
That's a lot of projection from somebody who has already had the surgery, can I ask WTF didn't you start with that in first place? Are you lying and trying to prove a point, or was this something you've hid from all of us? Maybe I misread, and you mentioned that you've had this surgery.
You've gotten help, or so you say, why in the hell are you responding to me in such an aggressive tone? Why didn't you start with the main point- you had this surgery with the doctor in question- and you're happy with the results? That's kind of a big point in the argument, and you left that off?
I don't mean to be rude, but all of your posts since 2017 have been on the Incontinent Desires thread. Most of the post since 2017 are arguementove in the incontinent desires threads. Are you doing research, or looking personal valiidation?
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43 minutes ago, warpiper said:
Perhaps they mean a wetting accident without a diaper on.
Not that this could happen to anybody here, I mean. What kind of psycho goes around without a diaper on? Lunacy.
If you ask me, going out in public without a diaper is just asking for problems.
Maybe it's just me, but peeing my pants sucks. I've got to change my clothes. It runs down my leg, which feels icky, and I need to take a bath. The diaper is comfy, and I can do it again a few more times before I need to change. Diapers rule!
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7 minutes ago, BrownBobby said:
If it really was only "cautioning against something drastic and potentially dangerous," I think it'd be a lot more understandable. Let me be incredibly blunt - it's gone way, way way beyond "just cautioning."
Let's follow your analogy, shall we? Let's assume we have a super-adrenaline junkie who can't find what he's looking for in the experiences available. Nothing has quite satisfied that need that he's had. He's done years of research looking for what other options are available, and vetted one option that, while not done enough to have an established track record of safety yet, shows promise with an operator whose record checks out pretty well for what he has done. Knowing all of this, and knowing the risks he's taking, he decides to do it.
Then you come in, screaming, waving your arms in front of the adrenaline junkie, saying, "Look! I know what you're going to do, and it's dangerous! I mean, I thought I wanted to do something like this, but then I went on some go-karts, and that was enough for me! You'd be insane for attempting to do this!"
The adrenaline junkie politely nods, reassures you that they're very aware of that, and that they have, in fact, gone go-karting. You keep insisting that it's dangerous, with each time the adrenaline junkie tries to reassure you going "I can't tell you what to do, but its SUPER DANGEROUS! You must have some flaw in your judgement since any rational person wouldn't dare do this!"
You'll forgive me if the adrenaline junkie thinks you're either a well-meaning idiot or being deliberately obtuse.
Your response would be accurate if you accurately portrayed what I said rather than projecting my caution to an absurd level and then equating me to a homophobe because of it. However, that's not what I did. I merely cautioned and said it was self-harm.
FTR- the first thing you do when a student is cutting is take away the knife. FTR- I did this exact thing last year. A student was cutting in art class, and I don't have knives in my class. Guess how I took care of that problem?
I'm sorry if you disagree with me, but I see this as a form of cutting. You don't, which is either because you are actively cutting and trying to defend your actions, or analyzed it to such a degree that you've spent the money to make this happen. Fortunately, it takes a lot more than finding an exacto knife to have access to this surgery, which kills my analogy.
The 2nd thing I do when I see cutting is: get them help! It's a red flag, get them to help immediately. If you're considering this surgery- get help. And if the help you get is condoning this- WTF does it matter that some idiot on the internet disagrees with you?
AFAIK, we've already had one guy book the surgery, which I think is the first time I've ever heard about anybody getting that far. We've had people propose it for a long time, but nobody had access to the funds to make it happen until now. He found a way to get to the exacto knife, and I hope he will be fine.
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5 minutes ago, Reddy said:
I think the first issue is that many people don't see any problem with self-amputation, although it's a good analogy, it's just another thing that is okay to do (but I would never want to, and also should be done only if the person really wants it). It's certainly not "wrong!" in my mind.
I see what you're saying with the bungee jump, but the struggle is that there is literally no local option available. Adrenaline junkies have options in the United States, I don't. If this procedure could be done in America I wouldn't be in Mexico right now, so this analogy doesn't feel as fair to the situation I'm in.
There is a reason you don't have a local option. Look, you're already planning the trip, and I'm sure you've already paid some money. The ship has sailed in your case, and I hope it works for you.
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They had a strict 'no wetting' policy, yet they nappy changing stations,
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1 hour ago, BrownBobby said:
But for those that genuinely DO have this deep-seated desire to this level...why are you so insistent that they suffer?
Have I ever encouraged anybody to struggle mentally? I want to caution against something drastic and potentially dangerous, especially if mental health is already fragile. I want to restate that nobody needs my permission or blessing to do this. Just because I disagree, doesn't mean you can't do it.
My self-amputation example bombed for some reason, so let's try this one. Let's assume we have a super-adrenaline junkie who wants to perform a super-risky bungee jump. This is a bungee jump that only a few operators are willing to do, and those that are don't have proven track records. The outfit will only operate in countries that have limited regulation, charge exorbitant fees, and make you sign every liability waiver available. Am I being intolerant if I caution and tell the adrenaline junkie that it might not be a good idea?
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53 minutes ago, Babypants said:
To stretch this out, a lot would depend on the theme. For example, one of the most popular here revolves around having a parental figure use diapers to humiliate a child. In this instance, you could reach beyond the first chapter by inserting a bed wetting episode at the opening. Foreshadowing can buy you some time, but not to the tune of "tens of thousands of words."
In a lot of stories, I literally search for the word before I engage in the story. I probably err on the other side, and get to the diapers in just a few words. It's why I write the stories.
That being said, you need to have good characters to keep a story engaging. In All My Mother's Rules, it took a few chapters before Sarah finally peed her pants twice and ended up in diapers for the day, but by that point, there were several references to accidents, potty training, and she wore diapers at night. Emilia's potty training struggles were brought up very quickly in the story.
The best way to show a slow regression is through time jumps. You go through in detail about an incident that begins the process, but then jumped to another time period (months, weeks, or days) and show how the regression has grown.
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6 hours ago, Nat said:
It's great that Lisa was able to gain bladder control and maybe the abuse from her parents is what made her not potty train due to the stress and the trauma. As child psychologists always say, never get mad at your kid during potty training or it will make it harder for them. Lisa needed to do it at her own pace and get enough confidence and let it be her decision to try and being patient with it. I also had potty training issues and if everyone kept getting mad at me about it, I don't know if I would have succeed in it. I remember big toilets being pushed on me when I felt comfortable enough peeing in potty chairs but everyone at day care was pushing pig potties on me and I always had accidents in public. I remember feeling an urge but not knowing what to do about it until it would leave my bladder and I hated it. They didn't have pull ups back then because those didn't come out until 1989 so all we had were training pants. I remember my mom had to be with me on the big potty and hold me so I felt comfortable.
I do believe they call it bladder training than potty training for bigger kids and adults. I sometimes wonder if some kids are late toilet trainers because their parents made it harder for them. I know I was late probably related to ASD issues since no one ever got mad at me about it. But I remember plenty of other kids my age then also wet their pants. My last real accident was when I was 5 years old but then after that, wet pants only happened if I laughed too hard or if I forgot to take my meds so I sometimes would lose blader control and piddle and I started having voiding incontinent issues in high school meaning I would leak urine after going potty. Then I had kids so I would randomly dibble in my clothes ff and on. I also like saying having kids helped me be more diaper dependent.
It sounds like Lisa has done a lot of bladder training in the last few months, but she still has a long way to go. She doesn't have much time from the moment she feels the urge. I'm not sure if she could initiate much of flow but her bladder can at least give her a few seconds of alert before taking control.
Sarah hasn't been able to hold much urine for a long time and doesn't seem to have any ability to initiate a stream. The only reason she used the toilet at the hospital was that she happened to be sitting on the toilet when she peed. I think it was that way before her mom went full-baby on her.
Lisa didn't get any of the baby treatment from her parents. She was purposely humiliated with a potty chair, but that wasn't about her being a baby. She also wasn't allowed to change her diaper which I think was about control, and not the need to make her feel like a baby. That was even more true once after her mom locked her in her bare room for most of the time. Lisa's bladder issues are probably some form of bladder defect that affected her muscle development.
I was also late to the potty training bus. The last time I remember wearing diapers as a child was when I was four and close to 4 1/2. My mom used Pampers on me on a bus trip we took when I was four, but I might have been three and I remember wetting my pants regularly when I was four. We moved to Asia when just before my 5th birthday, and I don't think I wore diapers on the plane, and I don't remember having any accidents. As I recall, I wasn't even wetting my bed. I think my parents were matter of fact about my accidents and hoped to extinguish them. The last accident I had wasn't really an accident. It was when I was five, and I was playing outside. I needed to poo and remembered thinking that I hadn't had an accident in a long time, so I pooped my pants. I got almost no reaction from my mom, and she just helped me clean up. From the sounds of it, and it makes sense now, I may have done it for attention, and when I stopped getting the attention, I stopped doing it.
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3 hours ago, LessThanSavory said:
So, I'm trying to get back into writing after... way too long, and am currently working on an outline for a story I want to post here. The problem being that while the story does end up revolving around ABDL themes (diapers, dependence, caring, etc.), it takes a while to build up to that... like "tens of thousands of words in the outline" kind of a while, and I'm not sure if that's a sign that I should either majorly rework things, or just look at rewriting it as a non-abdl story in the first place.
I want to write it as a slow progression kind of story since that's what I enjoy, but I'm kind of running into the problem of not being sure if it works as is since it feels like it takes way too long to get to the diaper stuff for someone who wants to read it because they are interested in that, but the fact that it gets to diapers at all is probably a deal breaker for people who aren't into it.
So, how long do you think is too long to get to the juicy bits? Am I just overthinking it, or is writing a story around a niche topic that takes too long to get to the niche a losing game?
A lot of stories that try to slow-burn regression end up going way too long before the protagonist gets put in diapers. I'd say you need to have some regression dynamic set up in the first thousand words. If you keep the story engaging, you can push out the diaper element for quite a while, but eventually, you have to get there.
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2 hours ago, BrownBobby said:
Pretending people don't have these feelings don't magically make them go away. There are actual, real consequences to them feeling like there is no other way for them to safely achieve them. And yet, "for safety" and "to prevent harm," people like you seem to be completely unwilling to allow those feelings to have a safe outlet to be pursued. What's better in your mind - having someone with desires like these feel a continuous, never-ending need that leads to inner conflict, anxiety, and other negative consequences that they either get to bear their whole life without an outlet or take things into their own hands and unsafely try to resolve, or having a way for those desires to actually be fulfilled in a safe, controlled setting with people trained in how to not only make sure it happens but that this treatment would be the best way to address that desire?
The culture of this thread doesn't want to hear why it might be a bad idea to spend a boatload of money on something that may not alleviate your anxiety. It's your money, it's your body. If it was safe and ethical for a doctor to do it, you wouldn't be shopping so hard to find one who is willing to do it.
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22 hours ago, DAQ said:
I have had 4 separate conversations, 3 of which were with mental healthcare professionals that compare the desire for incontinence to be similar to being trans only in that there is a part of your body that doesn't feel right. Furthermore all 4 of those people and myself would never try to be part of that community and steal their thunder or co opt their message. However I find it hilariously ironic that you would in the same breath talk about that community and intolerance and simultaneously be sanctimoniously Intolerant to people who may seek surgery to become their authentic selves.
I have an issue because you're promoting something that I find harmful. You don't see it that way, but I don't think you've read the whole post. You had an initial reaction but didn't read everything. If you did, and realized that 10 years ago I wanted to kill myself, and you still came back with the tone that you did- you're kind of an AH. If that upsets you- ask yourself, did you read it from my viewpoint?
I hope you notice that I haven't posted on the other thread. Before you judge me as a complete AH, ask yourself why you think that I'm posting here, and not there.
23 hours ago, Reddy said:I learned almost two decades ago from my friend studying for a medical degree that people who wish for an amputation almost never regret it, certainly not something that can be said for other cosmetic surgeries. I just don't see the problem with it. It's fine that you won't accept people getting that type of surgery. We just disagree about it, I guess.
Maybe we look for different kinds of doctors. My Ophthalmologist tore me a new one when she learned that I ignored pre-diabetes and developed Type-2 diabetes. She is the best doctor I have on my team. My SIL would also tear me a new one but would be nicer about it. My step-brother would hang back, but tell me what a bad idea it was. My cousin would talk me through it, and speak to an expert that he knows to make sure I got a valid second opinion.
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12 hours ago, MinnesotaWriter said:
That said, there are lots of teens who read ABDL fiction. I think for most people, an interest in ABDL often develops in the early teens (as was the case for me). I lurked here and a lot of other places as a teen reading most of what I could get my hands on. That was extremely helpful at that time in my life with knowing that I wasn't alone in those interests. As I've mentioned before, a number of the stories from that time period served as some inspiration for this one.
Of course, minors/adults shouldn't be actively interacting in any way regarding ABDL content, so lurking and reading is as far as that should be going (which isn't something that could be easily policed, anyways)
I understand what you are saying, and I wouldn't be willing to share this story with a mainstream audience—most
of the stories, if not all of the stories on Amazon deal with characters over 18.
I'm being honest when I say this would be a great story to teach to a 9th-grade class, especially a class full of struggling. This is an easy story to comprehend. A 4th-grade reader could read this independently and understand the story. PS- That's not a criticism, that's high praise. Known authors who a favored by English teachers suck at that (I'm looking at you, Amy Tan).
BTW, that doesn't mean this story is appropriate for elementary school kids, but I think it is appropriate for teenagers. The themes that kids read HS English class are dark and very adult. Everybody reads The Great Gatsby in 11th grade, and that book has sex, drugs, and orgies. Read I'm not your Perfect Mexican Daughter, and you'll see what I mean.
The abuse theme and overcoming trauma would be a huge win for HS English teachers, and it has all the elements that they need to teach the standards they need to teach. I'll admit that regression themes are out there. You'd get banned in Florida, but that should be a badge of honor. However, you present those themes in a way that is appropriate for that age group. I don't know if the students would be comfortable talking about it, but I think they would relate to it.
PS-I assume you'll post the link here when you're ready to publish.
I like the book club element that we have here. You get it in Wattpad, but the level of discussion there is lacking. Us experiencing this story together, and talking about each chapter has been a big part of the enjoyment that I've gotten from this story.
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3 minutes ago, Nat said:
I must say this is a story I think will be okay with the general audience but it would be more of a young adult fiction. I don't really see this as a kink or fap or fetish story. What Sarah is dealing with is very normal in kids who have been abused so they tend to regress back to infant like behaviors. So I can understand why my parents would freak out about me wanting diapers and wanting to be a baby again when I was 12 and why my parents blamed themselves when they found out I was wearing diapers again when I was 17.
I think it would be a great novel for that 12-15 group. I think they would relate to it.
FTR- my question of the day was: If you could go back in time, what time and place would you go back and elementary school was the overwhelming winner.
Youth (13-17) would buy into the regression themes, especially struggling students. MW writing is so easy to comprehend and that's a gift.
This is a story that would fit in a 9th-grade English class.
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59 minutes ago, AdultInnocence said:
I'm guessing dashed from, or it should be into the bathroom. ?
Edit:
Just finished the chapter. A lot of emotions and a lot of feel goods. I do suspect that Lisa and her friends will help her being okay with those feelings of wanting a pacifier, or being more comfortable with diapers until they at least find out what the test results were. Maybe she will be okay with the better pull ups during the day and a diaper at night. Lisa's family is being very supporting. I suspect Sarah may wait to tell her friends everything for when she can do it all at once.You captured her struggle really well. The internal dialogue, what she would like to say and why she didn't. This has to be one of my favorite stories.
I tried to separate myself from the dynamics of a story structure, which is how MW intended us to read it. In that moment, you have this real decision between Emilia's father and the Higgins. If I were Sarah, I would trust what I know, which is Mr. Higgins is a good man.\
I love the part where Amanda wants to make sure Emilia and Sarah. It will take a lot to make that happen, but in real it would be important.
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20 minutes ago, AdultInnocence said:
Before I read the next chapter this was my thought as well. I do really hope that she is going to stay with Lisa
We are nearing the end of the story, and there aren't enough words left in it for another plot twist. On WattPad, MW said that the story would conclude on Tuesday or Thursday. I think the next chapter will pull in the friend group.
I can't stress how well-written this story is. I know the themes are not typical for a mainstream audience, but it's a story that could easily be taught in 9th-grade English. It has all of the classic elements of a story, and it does it in an easy-to-read format. You compare this to Amy Tan, whom English teachers love. She is so obtuse that nobody knows what she is talking about. They also love I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter and the themes in that story are way more adult than this one.
P.S.- It is also better than Catcher in Rye, which was only good because it had cuss words in it. It's not as good as Huckleberry Finn .
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18 minutes ago, Reddy said:
The answer to this question is incontinence. It's what we desire here in this forum.
Seriously- if you can't draw the line at elective amputation, I don't know what to say.
That is a simplistic answer to a complex question. What does the incontinence get you that conditioning can't, and why do you want that level of incontinence?
FTR- there was a time that I considered having the surgery. It was also at a time that I prayed that it would be my day to go. I didn't want to kill myself, but I wanted to die. I was not in a good place mentally.
In my mind, I needed to have a reason to wear diapers. I could justify wearing diapers all the time because I would need them. At some point, I realized that I don't need justification to wear a diaper. Nobody cares if I wear a diaper. Eventually, I started wearing them 24/7.
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14 minutes ago, JustaFoxGirl said:
Yea, Sarah is going to need her friends to fully come to terms with things, and maybe that will lead to her being completely open with her therapist.
Sara reading all the missed messages of Lisa constantly trying to reach out, even sending jokes and memes... That broke my heart.
I read it from Wattpad first and it stopped right after Sarah changed privately. I was frustrated when Sarah reacted to Lisa the first time. I was so relieved when I got to the second part of the chapter.
That friend group became so strong at the first sleepover, but it's like Chewbacca and Han now.
That whole side plot about the sleepover and Black Friday didn't seem to advance the plot much, but I think it was written for a reason.
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24 minutes ago, MegaChar said:
40-50 is average price for babyfur art but the non artist want to charge something like $150 on adverage
That makes sense. I'd say a 200% increase is price gouging.
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9 hours ago, DAQ said:
As to want incontinence, I can't change who I am and will live my best life with the circumstances dealt. And being incontinent by any means necessary, including surger, is the best way to do that. And many people here share that same experience.
My question is: what does the surgery give you that you can't get by wearing a diaper and pretending to be incontinent?
I don't like the comparison between gender-affirming surgery and incontinence. I don't think it is an accurate comparison.
To say that my reservations with the incontinence surgery are in any way similar to transphobia and homophobia is a reach and insulting to the LBGTQI community that has to deal with intolerance.
Let's put it this way: we had somebody defend elective amputation surgery, which I post as an absurd example to show there has to be a line. There is a line, and where is the line?
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13 hours ago, Reddy said:
- Limb amputation is perfectly fine, and it does make those people happy.
You jumped the shark on that one, but apparently, that makes me an intolerant AH.
Can I repeat this: Do not do limb amputation! It is wrong! Don't do it! You should not encourage it! Anybody who would do such a thing is wrong. Go ahead and block me, because all you want is self-confirmation.
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16 hours ago, MegaChar said:
Babyfurs have the same issue. Theres artists who will draw for them but turns out are not abdls and charge a arm an leg but no one else.
What would be a fair price?
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26 minutes ago, JustaFoxGirl said:
Looking back, you're right. Even though she was told not to equate being diapered with being a baby, the fact she seems to plan trying to "be a big girl" using pull-ups makes it obvious she still feels they're linked. There will be an inevitable failure of it. The one thing the therapist didn't know was Samantha's influence, but Lisa does. I remember that MW said it would be revealed why Lisa changed her mind on Samantha, and perhaps a breakdown from Sarah is what brings it up.
The therapist might not be aware of Sarah's conflict, and Sarah is so conditioned to follow authority that she is trying to be a big girl for everyone. It's got to be so exhausting for me.
Thank God for Lisa, because Mom didn't seem to have any intention of stopping it. If it weren't for Lisa's insistence, Sarah could have been still stuck as a baby when Emilia was old enough to take on the chores.
How slow is too slow for a slow burn?
in Critiques and Writer's Discussion
Posted
You have a delicate balance, especially in ABDL fiction, but I think it comes back to the characters. One of the best trilogies I've read on Amazon wasn't even a diaper story- it was more of a spanking story. The only diaper-related content was the 'bad baby weekend' where the protagonist spends a whole weekend in a crib with a diaper and then the alpha takes her out to the woods to find a switch. It's two strange stories that I found very disturbing, but the characters were complex.
Let's use the extremes (and I've read both of these). In one case- the girl pees her pants, takes a shower and her parents transform his room into a nursery by the time she gets out (it's on Amazon somewhere- the story sucks). The second case- the author rights about characters I have no reason to care about- spends way too many words on BS that doesn't advance the plot and I start wondering when does the good part come.
The best story we have going on right now is All my Mother's Rules. It took a long time until Sarah was diapered by her mother, and almost 4 years until it became this long-term thing She is now recovering from it- which is the only story I know that has done that. But, Sarah was a complex and believable character from the beginning. All the other characters were genuine.