HPD

Methinks only as long as it is dry. I suspect you will find that wearing and moving around in a damp diaper when it is freezing is a rather chilly feeling. Evaporation of the dampness will cause the areas down yonder to be cooled to a temperature below that of the 'cooling air'. (Insert imaginary icicle smiley.) HPD, who can see white fluffy stuff on the ground outside his window.

I'm not entirely surprised. Whenever I try and step back from my own little world and give my surroundings an 'objective' look, I'm often surprised by what is considered part of normal behaviour: Smoking, drinking, being gay, naturists, spanking 'till the blod flows, enemas & watersports, extreme bondage, BDSM, etc. You name it. Compared to this being AB/DL does seem quite harmless as seen from where I am sitting. It objectively ought to be treated just like if you had told him you were into, say, wearing latex suits invisibly below your street clothes. Physically harmless to you and everybody else, legal and it only concerns you as long as you keep it to yourself. HPD.

Hmm. OK. (Drats!) Then I probably need to explain: Here in the EU Discovery Channel is currently running a TV show made in the UK called 'Brainiac'. It is totally One regular part of the show is examining the suitability of common office items as personal flotation devices in the event of sudden flooding due to global warming. drynot's post sounded very nearly like a verbatim copy of the introductory words used for that particular part of the show. Thus... But I actually like the correct explanation even better. Here is to hoping that Pipsqueak won't be flushed away. HPD.

It should probably be mentioned that the disaster in question is supposedly rising sea levels due to the greenhouse effect. I suspect there will be more Europeans in addition to our UK contributors, who will 'get' the joke... HPD.

Hook, line and sinker. I said "with its present technological foundation"! The Internet as such held its 35th birthday on August 30th 2004, but the standard for some of the core (but otherwise invisible) technology changed by general agreement on January 1st, 1983. This was the date of transition to TCP/IP. HPD.

Nope, I won't. The Internet, with its present technological foundation, held its 20th birthday January 1st 2003, and I have been online since 1990. HPD.

((Background music: "LoTR; The Fellowship of The Ring")) Since I only joined the ranks of this community quite recently, I'm somewhat hesitant to post the following suggestion. However I hope this gives me a bit of an advantage as far as I might be considered an impartial(?) outside observer. My suggestion for trying to solve the problems with the chat, and hopefully make the DD community more diverse without shutting anyone out, is simply this: Decide on and publish a list of behaviours and subjects, which are (un)acceptable in the chat on any given day of the week. Remember to specify the timezone, such that everyone can agree when it is Monday. To my eyes there are two major, somewhat distinct groups of members of DD. The first group are those individuals, who strongly associates sex and mating with the AB/DL theme. This group is often focused on online activities involving explicit sexual content ('cyber sex'), finding a partner, etc. The other group are those among us, who may be more interested in finding online friends and likeminded souls, with whom they can share general ideas, experiences and support. Their main interest is not explicit sex or the exchange of 'virtual bodyfluids', nor is it perhaps to find a partner. I'm not sure how I would get these two groups to coexist peacefully in the same chat channel without timeslicing the use of it. So days 1,2 and 3 is a free-for-all. If you enter the chat on one of these days, then you asked for it. 4, 5, 6 and 7 have limitations in place, for instance no PMs through the chat and other restrictions may apply. Which restrictions and the code of conduct in particular should be decided by the community. As I see it, then a division of this type is no different than what we already have on the board itself. There are different subject groups, which any given individual may or may not choose to participate in as their interests unfold and change. Taking myself as an example. I doubt I would join the chat if I knew it was a 'free for all' day. Not that I might mind whatever happens, but since I don't associate sex and diapers to any noticeable degree, I would just be in the way, possibly spoiling the party. This, and the discussion on the board about the chat that I have read over the last few days, is probably the main reason why I so far haven't tried dipping a toe in the water. Just my €0.02. HPD.

Afri... (erm) American Tena or European Tena? They are not the same thing AFAIK. HPD.

I'm wondering if we are talking about the same thing here. While the diapers helps us become socially acceptable, I feel that adult diapers as a subject, as opposed to wheelchairs and crutches, aren't something that 'nice' people would like to be mixed up with, discuss openly or give objective consideration. People will readily discuss their latest skiing accident, but I have never witnessed someone telling about the diaper he or she needed after a local anastesia in the crotch region. This might become the subject for another rant from me. In my experience there are even some health professionals, who considers adult diapers to be the domain of the severely mentally and/or physically disabled, and the 'weird'. (Sorry.) HPD.

Thanks fellows, appreciate it. Around here we have a saying that those, who remain silent, agrees. So I might write up another little rant on another subject of mutual interest(?) some day. Maybe I should come up with a list of possible subject, and run a poll? HPD.

((This text is a reworked translation of something I wrote not too long ago for my own use. The intention was to try and increase my level of confidence by coming up with reasons as to why I wouldn't want to wear a diaper when out and about, then attempting to puncture the arguments with a bit of common sense. If no arguments was left standing, then I didn't have a reason not to do as needed. Consider it a rant if you will, and please feel free to comment as you see fit, especially if you would (not) like to see more like this.)) In the following I am assuming that for some good reason the reader would like to wear diapers under their everyday clothing, and that they would prefer the rest of the world remains ignorant about the fact that they do. ---- One might think that strangers you meet in your daily lives has nothing better to do than cry out and laugh if they notice someone wearing a diaper. From reading on this site and elsewhere it would appear that this is the main worry among diaper wearers as a whole. The reality is though, that you really have your work cut out for you in order for people to stand up and take notice. We may think that a diaper sticks out in the crowd as clearly as, say, a wheelchair or a pair of crutches. The problem being that, as opposed to the wheelchair and the crutches, the diaper may not be considered socially acceptable. The best way I have found for convincing myself this is the case, has been to try and see the world through the eyes of someone not wearing or generally thinking about wearing a diaper. In fact, if you are looking for blending into the crowd, then I have come to believe that we may be our own worst enemies. Unless you would like to be seen in your latest AB outfit or wear really thick diapers, something it might be a little hard to justify, then your attitude and general behaviour will determine the reactions, or the lack of same, you will get from your surroundings. The one true troublespot I can think of is wearing diapers around close relatives, colleagues and friends, who must remain ignorant of the fact. The rest of the world is easy to deal with: Wear your diapers as discretely as possible, and behave as you would without the diapers. Psychological noise Today most people are living in very busy environments, where each of us receive thousands of mental impressions for every hour we go mingling with the general public. In order to not go insane, we naturally tend to erect psychological barriers toward out immediate surroundings. These barriers work on the unconsious level, and filters out most impressions before they even have a chance to register at the conscious level. It is only where we choose to direct our attention, or if something really stands out, that we take notice. How many billboards did you pass the last time you went shopping? How many friends did you talk to? Even when we do notice an 'interesting' phenomenon, we tend not to remember the details. Try to recall the last time you saw someone in the street using a pair of crutches and wearing one of those hinged knee braces. Would you be able to recognise that person, if he or she moved in next door tomorrow (without the brace)? Several factors help diaper wearers here. The main one is that we tend to think wearing a diaper is something special, when in reality it isn't. There must be thousands of medical conditions, which require affected individuals to use medical devices, take special action regularly and whatnot, all of which has the potential to cause unwanted attention: Arthritis, diabetes, colostomies, urosotomies and half a million disabilities of all kinds. Another thing to consider is the vast variety in body shapes and types of clothes being in general use. The next time you go to the shopping mall, try to discreetely cast a glance from a distance at other people of the same gender and roughly your own age and try to determine if A Could they be wearing a diaper without you being able to see it and B are they? Of course there will not be many adults, who will be wearing a fairly visible diaper, but my guess is you will learn that very frequently you have no way of knowing one way or the other. So take this to hearth. If you dress accordingly, then people have no way of knowing for sure, even if they suspect something. Also try to notice the noise from people's clothing as they move and walk, including your own(!) There will be rustling and 'swish-swish' noises from way too many persons for all of them to wear diapers. It is a surprising fact that most clothes make noise to some degree or other, we normally just completely ignore it. So the subdued rustle from a plastic diaper cover is not the end of the world either. Personally I wear tailor made jeans with a cut to fit my diaper. There was simply no way I was able to get a comfortable and discreet fit while wearing ordinary jeans. According to my friends, then wearing my 'special needs' jeans and a diaper is pretty much totally inconspicuous. Several have said they wouldn't have noticed at all if I hadn't told them, except they might have wondered about the change to the fit of my jeans. Plausible deniability And how does people react, if once in a blue moon they do notice and come across someone obviously having a problem? They turn the blind eye, of course. Think about it for a moment. What could you possibly come across in terms of 'unpleasant' medical conditions in your fellow man/woman, which might make you interact with that individual for that reason alone (assuming they are not in obvious need of help)? The fact is that in today's modern society most adults are quite aware just how widespread incontinence is, even if they would prefer to be able to pretend they have never heard about it. As a diaper wearer I find it highly unlikely that anything I might need to do in relation to my condition would cause anyone to do anything but pretending they didn't see or hear that. What would people think if they witnessed: A man carrying a small shoulder bag into the stall/airplane toilet: Diaper change? Toiletries? Valuables? Reading material? Change of clothes? Someone coming out from a stall carrying a closed opaque plastic bag to the trash can: Diaper change? Filled colostomy bag? "I'd better open and examine its contents!"? Garbage? Someone rustling with plastic in the next stall: Diaper change? Grocery bags? Changing clothes? Disposable plastic glove for doing icky stuff in toilet stalls due to unknown medical condition? The guy/gal in the seat next to them has a somewhat obvious, wide bulge in the crotch area: Diaper? Might want to loose some weight? To borrow a term from politics, then it is all a question about plausible deniability. Don't give people any more reasons to single you out. Behave discretely, maturely and with quiet self confidence, and people will most likely jump at the chance of not having to deal with 'it', even if they do notice. HPD.

Not sure if this is related or OT, but so far I haven't received my email address validation mail, and I even tried asking for it to be resent after checking that no spam filters were in place and that the address works for myself. Not sure what will happen if I don't verify it. Hopefully nothing nasty. Interesting thing is that once the verification process starts, I cannot attempt to change the address or even check to see if I have made a mistake in spelling etc. HPD.

Not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me, but I have a suspicion that the best way to avoid attention from mail staff and the surroundings is to try and not make a huge deal out of whatever you get shipped to your home. Around here the large diaper manufacturers ships directly to users, who gets diapers for free due to medical reasons. The diapers arrive in the large (marked) cardboard boxes with an address label slapped on the side, and the adressee is the person, who needs them. I happen to know that diapers are shipped this way in copious quantities, and the post office staff and mailmen think none of it (and besides they are not allowed to tell anyone). If they should happen to want to make a deal out of every diaper shipment, then they would be very busy people indeed! On occasion I have chatted a bit with my local mailman as he brought me new supplies, and he has never acted 'strange' in any way that I have noted. Once I also had to talk to someone at the local post office in connection with my diaper shipments. Naturally I didn't specify what was in the errand boxes, and the lady at the other end didn't appear to think anything special of it, even though she had to go and actually examine the boxes in question (she needed to scan the barcodes on the address labels). My next door neighbour must also know about the shipments and what they contain, as she works in a nursing home. Yet she has never said anything, and I do meet and talk with her regularly. In other words: If you don't make a fuss about it, you and your mail drowns in the short attention span of your surroundings. HPD.

Not certain how evident this is from the replies in the thread so far, but from what I have been able to find out, then there are two distinct lines of all-in-one diapers, which are sold inder the Tena brand name. The US Super and Ultra slips, and the European Super and Maxi slips. Seems like the review section mixes them left, right and center... The two designs differ significantly. From what I have read from people, who have compared them, then the European design is the superior option. Around these parts the current (EU) Tena Slip Maxi design is generally considered the Rolls Royce option among adult diapers. Personally I haven't compared them to, say, the latest version of the Abena AbriForm X-Plus. But the last time I had to make a choice between the 'old' X-Plus and the Maxi Slip a few years ago, it was not even a contest. The Maxi won hands down in any comparison, which mattered to me: Discretion, feeling of security, fluid capacity and distribution, fit, quality of manufacturing and comfort. These days my standard go anywhere, do anything diaper is the Tena Slip Maxi. I have little experience with the Tena Flex type of pull-ups, as those doesn't work too well for me. The (EU) Tena Maxi is probably the thinnest of the lot, which I like for wearing them under everyday clothing. Yet they don't sacrifice their efficiency, as they will swell in thickness as required to cope with the fluid output. I once saw a comparison, where the (EU) Maxi was a '3' on a 1-5 thickness scale, and the old style Molicare, the Attends Special care and the Abri Form X-Plus being 4 or 5. However the Maxi may swell all the way up to a '6' if needed! However I'm not sure they aren't able to swell to more than double their original thickness, far from it in fact. So they are discreet if you don't need the diaper, yet in desperate situations you may end up with a bulge in embarrasing places, but no wet spots. HPD.

Hello all! Having just joined the community I felt it was probably a good idea to give you all a bit of background information about me. For quite a long time I have been fighting a more or less serious incontinence problem due to a chronic healt issue. After a plethora of medical tests and examinations, the bottom line I got was, more or less, "Hmm, you have a problem..." and a disability pension. Since I'm often bedridden for days at a time, I was of course unable to hide the truth for my immediate surroundings. Yet for years I only told about the incontinence problem when I really had no way around it. One reason for this is that I have a rather down-to-earth and easily verifiable, yet unrelated, secondary health issue. It prevents me from using most types of incontinence aids, except diapers and, in principle, indwelling catheters(!) At the time I didn't know many people in the local disability community, and to say I wasn't happy about the idea of having to wear diapers would be an understatement. Over time most of my close friends learned about my incontinence one way or the other, and, to my surprise, they pretty much all thought none of it. Most said I should just do what I needed to do when I needed to do it, and ignore any naysayers I might meet. That many of my friends have health issues of their own probably have something to do with this though. Old habits are hard to break though, and I still tend to just stay at home on the days, when I'm 'only' fighting my weak bladder. Lots of precious time have been wasted this way. This past December was not one of my best, and at New Years Eve I had had enough. So I made a New Years resolution that this year I will turn everything relating to incontinence upside down. I will try to learn living with the problem instead of fighting and hiding it. Part of this 'coping process' is to seek out 'the opposition' (Ie. you people!) and learn from your attitudes toward the issue. Maybe I can even do my own tiny part and in due time make diapers more socially acceptable. (Nah...?) At the very least I hope that if I cannot avoid them, then I might as well try to get a positive outlook on the ins and outs of wearing diapers. Everyone claims it helps talking about an unavoidable problem, yet I have found the discussion on many of the incontinence boards to be somewhat ... uptight. It is obviously OK to talk for weeks about selecting the new power chair or how to best use intermittent catheters, but diapers? At this point I should probably say that I believe I am in general a very open minded person. I have of course known about the AB/DL community for years, and I cannot say that I mind in the least. My only real issue with the AB/DL mindset is when some IMHO misguided individuals abuse companies and organisations, who would rather not have to deal with it. Something entirely different: Whenever you read something I wrote, then please keep in mind that English is not my language of birth, far from it in fact. An unpleasant side effect of this is that I tend to use language and expressions 'borrowed' from TV and similar sources, often not in the context for which they were meant. So if you ever feel offended or insulted by something I wrote, please consider giving me the benefit of the doubt and ask if I knew what I just wrote. Normally I do not deliberately do or say something, which I suspect would offend or insult others. The other side of the coin is that I believe it is virtually impossible to offend me, having been on the 'net for more than 15 years. My online virtual hide is made from a very tough chrome/vanadium alloy, so do your worst! At most you may get me to simply ignore you. Well, I better stop here before I bore you all to sleep. I will drop in from time to time and see if I can perhaps shake a world view or two once in a while. A belated happy new year to all. HPD.