Craisler

Your soft approach is appropriate for kids who really can't voluntarily control their eliminations because of a medical condition or delayed maturation. However, some kids choose not to control their bladder or bowels simply because they like wearing diapers and don't want to exercise the self-control demanded of them by toilet training. Exasperated parents may then resort to enforced diaper punishment as a means of bringing additional peer pressure to solve the problem. The big trick is knowing when the incontinence is medical problem and when it is a result of childish obstinacy. I very much disagree with the premise that CPS knows better than the parents about how to raise and train their children. Certainly, there are exceptional circumstances where CPS intervention is justified. However, I believe it is an unjustified abridgment of parental rights when CPS intervenes because parents have spanked their children or have allowed their children to play in the neighborhood without direct parental supervision. Remember that 50 or more years ago, multigenerational families often lived is close proximity to each other. So, parents could often rely on grandparents to help raise the children and provide the experiential guidance on what works and what doesn't. In that way, earlier errors are not repeated with each generation. These days, many people move away from home because of employment opportunities and lose the support of their close relatives. Parents are not born knowing how to raise a child. The old joke is, "Children don't come with instruction manuals." Many parents are only a few years removed from being children themselves. They are going to make mistakes. As many of us here on this site can attest, diaper punishment is almost certainly going to be ineffective and likely to have unintended consequences. Often, staying in diapers is exactly what kids want. They have worn diapers since birth. Diapers allow immediate relief from the discomfort of a full bladder or bowel with minimal consequences. They don't understand why they should change and start exercising self-control. If a child is being obstinate and refusing to be toilet trained, the course of least resistance for an exhausted, exasperated parent is to let the child continue wearing diapers. However, making it obvious that the kid is still wearing diapers when his peers have outgrown them may get results with peer pressure where parental discipline has failed. This method only becomes a form of abuse if the parent has failed to eliminate organic problems as the reason for the child's lack of toilet training and the parent continues forcing a child to accomplish something he is physically incapable of doing.

If you haven’t worn diapers before, diaper rash can be a problem. I’d recommend not staying in a wet diaper longer than necessary. Some people’s skin is more sensitive than other’s. At first, even relatively short exposure to a urine soaked diaper can cause skin problems. Thorough cleaning and a diaper rash cream will control the problem. With repeated exposure, the skin toughens up and becomes less sensitive.

He wouldn’t notice. The semen would be diluted by the urine and absorbed into the diaper. Unless someone performed a microscopic analysis of the diaper, it would appear to simply be a wet diaper.

I discovered years ago that eliminating the hair made cleanups much easier and vastly reduced any residual odor, particularly from messy diapers. Depilatory creams work well if the directions are closely followed.

I regret the number of binge/purge cycles I went through before accepting the fact that diapers are an essential part of life. I certainly wish I'd accepted my need for diapers much earlier.

I did see one minor typo. On page 154, you have Dad,s instead of Dad’s. Your parents were a great deal more tolerant than mine. I got away with a lot because I was the first kid and for about 3 1/2 years I was an only child. But I never would have done some of the things you did.

Interesting story. I can relate to some aspects of your life, but you certainly took things to the extreme. I was also slow to get out of diapers, was a bed wetter for a long time, and slow to mature emotionally. I remember that I was still having Gerber’s baby pablum for breakfast when I was 6 years old. However, I never had any desire to be babied, nurse from bottles, or be a sissy. You can read my story by clicking on the link in my profile. Like you, I found it emotionally satisfying to recall, record, and analyze the memories of my childhood.

I can’t remember any specific time or incident when I suddenly realized I was a DL. From my perspective, I’ve always been a diaper lover. I was toilet trained (meaning I could stay dry if when I wanted to) by 2 ½ years old, but I still preferred using my pants, just because it was more convenient than going home to use the potty chair that was often stinky from earlier deposits. As a result, I was often diapered during the day. At night, I was always diapered because my nighttime wetting continued until I was nearly 10 years old. At around 3 or 4 years old, I was hospitalized to surgically correct a minor genital birth defect. I vividly remember being jealous of other kids in the ward, some much older than I was, who were diapered. I wasn’t diapered because of the location of my surgery. So, my conclusion is that I was a DL by the time I was around 4 years old even though I had no concept of the term at that age.

I was around 3 or 4 years old. It was around that time that I had surgery on my genitals to correct a minor birth defect. While in the hospital, I remember being jealous of other kids in the ward that were diapered. Because of the location of my surgical incision, the doctor didn’t want me wearing a diaper.

I virtually never have a diaper rash and I’ve been wearing diapers for a very long time. Getting a rash is not inevitable. If you are just starting out, your skin will likely be sensitive and need the protection provided by zinc oxide creams and anti-fungal lotions. Don’t try to wear wet diapers longer than overnight. Clean yourself thoroughly during a diaper change and then apply your choice of protective ointments. Over time, your skin will become more impervious to irritations. ‘If you have a rash, try Boudreaux’s Butt Paste (Yes, that’s it’s real name and is available in most drug stores and Wal-Mart). It works. I was put on to this stuff by a CNA who was helping me take care of my father when he was having continence issues and needing diapers. Initially, he got a very bad rash, but after using this paste, we quickly got the problem under control.

What I like is not having a full bladder and urgently needing to go when I wake up. I can take my time stretching, yawning, and just generally have a relaxing time waking up.

I didn't experience that problem back when I started my journey. I did learn how to wet only when diapered, however, most of the time I was conscious of doing it. A full bladder would wake me during the night; I'd then wet my diaper; and fall back asleep. Sometimes, I was only partially conscious when I wet. There were times that I'd waken during the night with my diaper would already wet and I had no memory of it happening. I never did wet the bed while not diapered. I did experience a gradual loss of bladder volume the longer I wore diapers. My guess is that my bladder was no longer being stretched by holding it in during the night. As a result, my bladder felt full after shorter periods of time and I had to urinate more often both day and night.

Personal experience says that it is possible to wet when diapered and still retain control when not. It isn't real incontinence. Instead, you know that you're diapered and therefore can empty your bladder with no problem. However, you feel the difference when not diapered and therefore retain control. it's a learned response with the bulk of the diaper vs. being naked providing the subliminal cue. This subliminal cue works whether awake or sleeping. In my case, I don't think I slept as deeply when I was diapered as when I wasn't. It took a very long time to learn how to sleep well while diapered.

I can only relate my experience. Starting out, I found it difficult to wet my diapers at all. I would wear them at night and occasionally during the day when I figured I would not be caught. Over time, I learned to become comfortable wearing diapers and found it increasingly easy to wet them. Most nights, a full bladder would wake me; I’d pee; and go back to sleep. Subconsciously, I knew I was diapered, even when asleep. I learned the feel of wearing a diaper. So, on nights when I wasn’t diapered, I never had an accident. I did, sometimes, wet while asleep, but only while diapered. I would say that what you’re asking is possible. However, you’re actual results may differ from mine.

I hope you’ve seen a urologist and had a cystoscopy to verify that there aren’t any serious problems with your bladder.

I think you’re in shock or disbelief just after the death of a loved one. Then there are a lot of things to be done and no real time for grief. Sometime later, though, when things are quiet it will hit you. A familiar situation or, in my case, I saw a funny movie that I knew she’d find hilarious. She and I had similar senses of humor. I wanted to tell her about it and realized I couldn’t anymore. That’s when the grief comes. I still occasionally have thoughts or come across situations like that and my mother died over 25 years ago. With my father, it was different. He'd been living with me for the last 25 years and I'd been his caregiver for the last few years. When he died, it was more of a relief for both of us. He hadn't been active at all near the end; spending most of his time in bed asleep. I carried a large load of anxiety in addition to caring for him. As the end approached, I could tell I was gradually losing him. So, when he died, I felt some obvious grief at the time, but also a lot of relief from the pressure of caring for him. As mentioned above, everyone reacts to the loss of their parents or loved ones in their own way depending on the situation.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike a messy diaper. That isn’t the point. I like being able to poop in my diaper whenever I need to in order to relieve the discomfort of full bowels. For me, it’s the relief of the discomfort that gives me pleasure.

I agree.

Make sure the diaper fits snuggly around the legs. If there are gaps, leaks are going to happen. Personally, I’d recommend wearing an elastic fixing brief over the diaper. That will hold the diaper close to the body and prevent leaks. Abena fixing briefs are available from XP Medical.

Here are a couple more thoughts: Adjust the mirrors so you can see the back end of the trailer and any vehicles that are in that area. If necessary, use extension mirrors to get the necessary views. As a test, park a vehicle within a car length behind the trailer. If you can’t see that vehicle clearly from the driver’s seat of the tow vehicle, you need extension mirrors. A Suburban is a good tow vehicle and should handle the trailer pictured with no difficulty. It would best if the tow vehicle was equipped with the towing package. That usually includes a larger radiator and transmission cooler.

You don’t want to balance the load. That will cause the trailer to fishtail. It’s better to have 200-400 pounds of tongue weight. You have the basic backing technique. Go slow and make constant small corrections. Don’t let it get off course and then have to make large corrections or have to pull forward and try again. Make sure the trailer is securely fastened to the hitch. Use a pin or lock to make sure the latch doesn’t open accidentally. The chains should be short enough to hold the trailer to the vehicle should the hitch fail, but long enough to allow the smallest turning radius. Make sure the trailer’s wheel bearings are well lubricated and the brakes are in good condition. Allow more distance between your vehicle and the car ahead. If the trailer brakes are properly adjusted, the tow vehicle and trailer should stop normally. However, if they are not adjusted properly or fail, you are relying on the tow vehicle’s brakes to stop the combined load and that will take more time/distance. Signal when changing lanes; don’t forget you’ve got more length behind you to allow for when passing. Don’t take corners too tight or you may drag the trailer over the curb or into a ditch. These are the basics. Be cautious and get the feel of the rig.

Which is not a bad thing if it solves your problem.

I’ve never seen residual urine stains after laundering the items mentioned (except for the mattress, of course). Are you sure you’re using your washer and laundry products correctly?

I seriously doubt that your sphincter muscles have changed significantly in such a short time. I would guess that you’re mentally changing your behavior due to a form of aversion therapy. You experience discomfort or pain when your sphincters close to hold the wastes in long enough to get to a toilet. By wearing a diaper, you both consciously and subconsciously know that you can avoid the pain and discomfort by relaxing the sphincter muscles and letting your bladder and bowels empty immediately when they contract.

I agree with the Soggy Bottom. Cloth diapers are far less likely to leak at night than disposables. If you’re having problems with leaks, either the waterproof pants don’t fit right or you’re not wearing a heavy enough diaper. Contour diapers are good for daytime use because they are less bulky. However, at night you need the bulk, especially on the sides to provide enough absorbency. With cloth diapers, bulk and absorbency are closely related. My recommendation would be to experiment to try and find the combination that provides enough absorbency that will require changes about every 4 hours. That’s long enough to be of minimal inconvenience, but not long enough for the odor to become a problem. 8 hours is as long as I will push it. By that time, the urine will be breaking down, smell will be a problem, and the diaper will be very uncomfortable. Disposables have chemicals that slow that process, cloth diapers do not. You might try looking at incontinentsupport.org. They have a diaper primer that has a lot of useful information. However, the people that run the site are not tolerant of AB/DLs. So, I’d recommend a great deal of discretion if you decide to interact with anyone there.