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diapersnpaws

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  1. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Well, I have a new story started, a friend of cool content helping me edit, and a ton of nervous energy. I always get a little nervous when I start a new story, and worse so, when I post the first few chapters! Please watch for the Point of View IDs (--- Becca ---) littered throughout the story. It's a first person work told from several points of view. I think this may be a long one so enjoy and let me know what you think! ----------------------------------------------------------- Birch House Chapter 1 --- Becca --- “I’m not parking this far away from the house everyday.” My husband grumbled. “Yeah, this is kinda retarded. If we buy it, you won’t have to.” I agreed flipping my bangs out of my face the jewelry on my wrist clinking together like a wind chime. “We’ll just drive up there and park next time, but we’ll need to get some gravel brought in and make a real lane out of this grownup driveway. We should do a circular drive and make sure Ann’s got a place to park too.” He said calculating volumes in his head. “We’re not pissing off the Finn’s Trent. We’ll park down here by the road until they tell us it’s ok, or we buy it.” I asserted. “All right… All right Babe.” Trent caved not wanting to upset the sellers either. That’s how Trent was though, always planning ahead. He could see things coming before they got to us, and still find creative ways to bitch about it even if he already had a plan to deal with it. I loved trent with all my heart, but his attitude could be an acquired taste. I had been with Trent since I was a little girl… first as a friend and eventually his wife. Trent’s offered me his hand getting out of my car, and I paused to pull my black lace covered skirt back down where it belonged. Stockings are great and all, but the silky lining of my skirt let it ride way up when I got in the car. I may like showing some cleavage and making sure my tattoos are visible, but I didn’t intend to flash my lack of panties to the world. I love teasing Trent, so normally that’s a good thing, but our realtor sure didn’t need to see my lady fur! Regardless of Trent’s attitude problems, I loved him. Not to mention the short walk up the tree lined lane was beautiful this time of year and was doing wonders for both our attitudes. The little forest guarded the edge of the property from view blocking us from our potential neighbors. In fact, it felt like the house was carved out of a small but wild grove of trees. Even the chill in the air because of fall’s cooler temperatures couldn’t mess with my mood. “God I hope we can close this deal. This place fucking rocks.” I squealed clinging to Trent. My hopes rose with each step closer to my would-be-house. My head swiveled admiring the small forest and the well kept yard. It was the fifth time we’d wandered up that path, and I was starting to feel like I was coming home. I wanted that house so badly, but the amount of debt we were talking about was Hella scary for me. Owning a home was going to be an exciting new chapter in our lives. I mean, I was still driving the car my parents bought me when I turned sixteen for fuck’s sake! The only credit I had was a hundred dollar Victoria Secret card! Big spender I was not. Mom would be so proud of me. I wish she were here to see this with me. Drunk ass old fool! I thought sparing an unkind thought for my dad too. Ashley, our realtor, had shown us this property all five times we’d visited. Each time she looked amazing, and she didn’t let me down that day either dressed in a brilliant blue business suit that day. I remember it matched her lovely eyes. The realtor greeted us with bright smiles hugging me tightly like a long lost friend. I admired her for her sense of style even if it was different than mine, but I’ll be damned if she didn’t catch me staring. “The house is nice too. My firm has sold this house a total of six times you know! This will be the second time that I have found Birch House a new family. She’s just an amazing place.” Ashley said over her shoulder as we toured the house taking my attention from her legs. “I still don’t understand the turnover.” Trent implied blind to her appeal. “This house, at its age, in this condition, and at this price point has always been a great deal. She’s always been a great first house or last house depending on your stage of life. Remember, six times over that many years isn’t so alarming.” She said sticking to her tour confidently dismissing his question handling Trents skepticism like a boss. “It looks like everything in here is new!” Trent said getting his first at the like-new old house. I realized she’d given this tour a million times before, and it added a layer of nervous energy to the walkthrough. Her cleavage was distracting me more than Trent, and I bet she dressed up to show off her assets as a tactic too. I shook my head clearing out the unproductive thoughts feeling a bit like a dude at Hooters hoping the waitress really meant all those kind words. I was ready to make an offer, well… mostly. We had our co-signer and our funding all worked out. We were ready to finalize on our latest offer, assuming the property had been improved like the Finn’s had promised. I shook off my uncertainty causing the chain on my ear piercings to make dainty metallic noises that only I could hear. Personally, I thought Trent had a good point, but maybe I was biased? Why would the house have had so many owners? It’s was nerve wracking going into debt like that, and I just needed to be sure. It felt terrifying and exciting at the same time like that time I went bungee jumping. Making a bad deal and going into over a hundred thousand dollars worth of debt was dragging my excitement to the shitter. The house seemed big enough to me... maybe it was just rich-lady-reasons? I sure as hell didn’t any of those! I wasn’t certain why it was only a good house to start or end one’s life, but I bet she had a speech prepared for the question so I just let it go. There were like a million rooms at Birch House. I bet a big family could live here for a good long time, decades even. The listing had it at about eighty years old. Three, maybe four owners seemed reasonable to me, not four before our realtor’s firm and six more after! Ashley skimmed her notes flipping through the thick stack of paper on her clipboard. The current owners had met us here the second time she showed us the place. I couldn’t believe it had only been a few weeks ago. Trent and I had discussed the things we’d like to do to the house to really make it our own after our first visit. It was going to be hard to complete our list since we didn’t have a lot of cash left for improvements. When the Finn’s had asked, it had seemed like a strange question. A question answered cautiously because we were eager to make a good impression. So, we literally gave them a copy of our list hoping for the best. They’d talked to us for quite a while when we met them. The Finn’s stayed so long it began to feel like a job interview! They’d asked what improvements could be made that would help us. Things they could do that would make the house more attractive and let us pay for the improvements over the term of the loan. The Finns freakin awesome! They were clearly still deeply in love with each other and Birch House. That was no small accomplishment after having been married over ten years. We guessed they were in their mid to late thirties at the time. They said they were only moving because Mr. Finn had been asked to head up an office for his company in another state. They said that they absolutely loved the house and honestly hated to leave it. That made more sense to us. It seemed like a good reason to move, but we still felt uneasy after the interview. We had the sense that the whole deal was too good to be true. We still had two months on Trent’s lease and weren’t too worried about finding a place to rent, so we had the time to be patient about our house hunting. His landlord even offered to go monthly on our rent at the end of the lease, so we had that option too. He wasn’t thrilled when we put in our notice. “Good tenants like you kids are hard to find.” Carl had told us reading our letter of intent. Good? Ha! We were the best tenants! We Phillip’s are handy. We’d tackled small home improvement tasks and simply ask off a bit of rent when our landlord was happy with the results. The first few times we’d had to get any upgrades approved, but it didn’t take long to make a good impression. The bathroom tile and marble countertops had made him so happy he’d paid for the supplies and given us rent for free that month. We weren’t afraid of a little elbow grease. In fact, we enjoyed working to make a house a home. Trent’s mom called it nesting. Unfortunately, money was going to be short for a while. It always is after you buy your first home. His mother had warned us, and it turned out she was clairvoyant about our potential lack of cash. There were more out of pocket expenses than we were expecting. We intended to make the repairs to Birch House on our own, and in our own time. Our realtor had insisted on asking about improvements saying, “you never know.” Then the Finn’s turned around and asked us themselves. We felt much better about being asked than doing the asking ourselves. “We’ve asked to meet with all the potential buyers you know. We’ve decided we are backing your offer. Honestly, the Missus just loves you two. Birch House was our first home and we just love it. Is there anything we can do to help you?” Marshall Finn had asked. Turns out the list we’d made at home was just what the doctor ordered. Trent’s forthought helped us out again, but his ego suffered from the triumph. The improvements were part of Trent’s property evaluation process. God, he was so organized it was obnoxious! Our fantasies gave us some goals to work toward and a future to dream of. In the end, the Finns had the list and we left it with them to think it over. “I can’t believe they did all this in two weeks!” I said trailing my black tipped fingers over the new stove while glancing around at the refurbished cabinets. “Well, they must be heavily invested in unloading this place, or they just really liked you two and were prepared to help you out. I think what really motivated them was when you said you’d have to take a renter for the upstairs.” Our realtor commented as she walked. “Rebecca look! They pulled the carpet off the stairs and refinished the old floors! They had to have had people working 24x7 to pull all this off. It’s not like it was in bad shape before, but this… It’s amazing.” Trent’s eyes roamed around the house absorbing details in a state of wonder. “I know. I mean we may want to paint, and I’d eventually like marble on the counters in the bathroom here too, maybe the kitchen. You know how I am about my marble! But, this… is UNREAL. It looks like a brand new house in here!” I gushed bouncing on my toes. “I noticed the shingles were replaced on the way up here. Did they mention any water damage?” Trent asked. “Uh… I have a note here that there was a small leak in the attic. The inspector’s report says there was only discolored sheetrock which has been replaced as well. This is an amazing deal. Brand new roof, that’s a ten thousand dollar value added back.” Ashley insisted redirecting Trent. The woman was amazing! Her word wizardry would leave you eating your own words with confidence. Un...Fucking...Real... “Well, I wouldn’t feel right countering lower than the asking price now. This place is worth way more than they have it up for.” I told them both, my heart investing deeply. “Awe Trent, look they left that rod iron frame up I liked so much. Honey, I just LOVE this place!” I said it and knew I was all in at that point. Our realtor probably felt her commission check weighing down her purse after my blabbermouth. The two story house was priced to move at one-hundred twenty thousand, but with these improvements it was worth around one-eighty easy. The Finns had gone way above and beyond for us. “Well, you can’t go wrong with Birch House. It always sells fast! Owners seem to stay a while or get out in under ten years. Then they move on to something bigger and better if they leave. Maybe it’s good luck?” Ashley shrugged having sussed out my love of the supernatural and superstitious. “There’s only one weird thing. The owners almost always want to meet the buyers before they accept an offer.” She noted certain that this deal was sealed. “But, you guys already nailed that, so I can’t imagine them not signing right away.” “I just want to run around in the yard barefoot and I don’t know… pounce on the couch for a good nap in the sun. These windows are insane! There’s not a smudge on them anywhere. They let in so much light!” I fussed to Trent tugging at his shirt begging him with my eyes. Hell, the grass looks as lush and fluffy as the carpet! “Ashley, you know we are just going to offer their asking price right? See if they will cover the closing costs for us, and we’ll be able to afford the paint right away. If not, we’ll take it anyway and paint in a few months.” Trent tells the realtor confident he’s getting a good deal the confidence sexily wafting off of him. “Oh Trent! Really! God, I really don’t want to leave now. This new carpet probably sleeps better than our bed!” I said bending to rub my hands through the pile on the livingroom floor. I was so wrapped up in the feel of that luxurious carpet that I forgot about my short little skirt. I mooned Ashley with my stocking covered pany-free ass, but she never commented. Girl wanted that commision check! “Ann is going to love it here. She’s always wanted a dog and there’s so much room! I guess we better look over the upstairs and I’ll run through the attic before you call them Ashley. Due diligence and all.” Trent said bounding up the stairs with the hardwood he’d fallen in love with. I stood up and headed over to the only picture still hanging in the house. The current owners had already moved out, and other than their couch and a bed left in a guest room downstairs there wasn’t much left in the house. We really could move in right away, I muse running my finger over the rod iron frame. The same saying hangs in both our parent’s house and Trent’s mom’s place. ‘Love makes a house a Home’ they read. I loved this house already, but that wall hanging really endeared it to me. I was feeling a connection to the house and we hadn’t even signed for it yet! I moved through the living room running my hand along the oak trim framing the doorway. I’ve always loved that quote, I thought leaving the room getting a tactile feel for the place. “Ashley, I’ve never lived anywhere that had an official laundry room before! Trent loves that the hot water heater is in there and accessible too. This place is fucking awesome!” I couldn’t praise Birch House enough! We both knew where I stood. “It is. This is my favorite property. I’d live here myself, but the house is never on the market when I’m looking. Each owner puts their stamp on it of course, but it just seems to add to it’s ambiance not take away. Owners have moved walls or changed things around to suit their tastes, but it always feels so... Homey in here.” Our realtor smiled. “Everything checks out up there Becca. There’s even more impossible renovations upstairs! Ann may want to paint, but there isn’t much reason to do anything else. They even got the sink and some cabinets in the third room. Hell, there’s room for one of your Exes up there too babe.” Trent joked. “Just be glad I like that girl so much. You really did a number on her. The poor thing.” I slapped at Trent giving him a hard time on a stale joke. “Rebecca Phillips! I was like fifteen er something! That was friggin years ago! I didn’t even know we were going steady. I had no idea going to the movies with Wendy was cheating on her! Cut me some slack! We are all adults and friends, best friends even! I don’t think of her as an Ex!” Trent looked tired of the old one sided argument, but I thought it was funny and so did Ann. He was still sensitive about it though. “Then don’t joke about it if you can’t take it. Ann can. You can’t, ya cheater!” I teased Trent even more. “I’d never cheat on you.” He whispered pulling me to him. “You don’t think that do you?” He asked. Ashley cleared her throat, “Becca, you had better be one hundred percent sure. Buying a house, married or not, has legal obligations that follow you even if Trent doesn’t. I can’t make your offer unless I’m sure you’re sure. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, even if my job is to sell the house and move on.” “Oh Trent! Your stupid jokes have scared Ash. Go measure something or look at man stuff!” I huffed at him swatting him on the ass dismissing him so the Big Girls could talk. His shoulders told me that he didn't’ appreciate that very much, but Trent ambled outside grumbling about girls being confusing. I watched him walking across the covered front porch and disappear from my view. We waited long enough to be sure he was truly out of earshot. I waited more for Ashley’s sake than for my own privacy. “Ash, you are totally safe making this offer. Trent may be gone a lot, but I see his checks. I know when he’s gone, how long he’s paid for, and I have ways of accounting for his time. The lady that does payroll showed me, Barb. We were at a company picnic and I told her I was uncomfortable with all the weird hours cause truthfully, I’m a little insecure and needy. I’m sure he worries about all those hot young college guys when I’m at class too.” I admit. “Oh, I know what you mean. I’ve been married for years and have zero reasons not to trust my husband, but it’s just so rampant, the cheating. I get worked up sometimes.” She reassured me shrugging her shoulders. “He never really cheated on Ann either. She just felt that way at the time. Neither one of them had dated before, and didn’t know any of the rules. It was hard for her for like two weeks then she was over it, and that was literally years ago. If you ever meet her just know Trent didn’t make her the way she is. She’s just a timid little thing and I love her to death. Trent does too, but we love her in a sisterly way. She’s older than both of us, and we’ve all been good friends since we were in diapers.” I assured her. “Ok, well I feel a bit better. Backstories always help a sale, ya know! Go let the heartbreaker and bring him in the house. Just remember. Everyone loves Birch House. It always feels like Home in here. Don’t be the first ones in like eighty years to bring bad things to this place.” I could feel Ashley’s love for the house and the warning in her threatening tone. Her deep care for the place anchored my feelings. Love grew in my own heart too. I was in love with my future first home! This house would be our Home. I was absolutely confident that Birch House would meet our needs and maybe even see the pitter patter of little feet bounding around. Trent and I walked hand in hand back down the lane to our car talking so fast we had trouble keeping up with each other. Birch House Chapter 2 Trent and I brought Ann to Birch House four days later. --- Ann --- I’m buying a flipping-stinking house! Daddy is going to be so proud! I said to myself while getting out of my jeep. I can’t believe I’m buying a frigging house! I shivered in excitement. “OMG! Girl! I can’t wait to show you OUR new place!” Becca yelled getting out of my jeep. She ran around my jeep bounding over to get me. Her silver bracelets and rings clinking against each other making her sound like a wind chime. “I know sweety. Look, calm down a bit. You’re spazzing!” I laughed hugging her lightly. I placed my hands on her shoulders to hold her to the ground. She looked at me with her large chocolate colored eyes opened widely, “I’m sorry… I just never bought a house before.” “That’s ok hun! Me neither! I’m excited too. Point those puppy dog eyes somewhere else! I really need a place anyway, like tomorrow!” I noted worried more about my own circumstances than buying a house. In fact, buying that house with my best friends was an answer to a prayer. “Ann, I’m so glad you’ll be moving in with me. Really I am. Not even kidding! I was going to be so fucking lonely! Trent’s driving would do me in I’m sure of it. You’ll get the entire upstairs to yourself so you can hide from me. You’ll have like everything up there. It’ll be your own apartment or something. OH. MY. GOD. I’m fucking freaking out.” Excitement spilled from Becca while she shook her hands animatedly grabbing at my elbows. “So they accepted the offer then?” I asked her taking her hands. “Yeah, the Finns accepted at their original asking price, like right away. Trent is freaking out too! He says it’s a steal! He’s prolly gonna be on the phone all day.” My friend babbled while tugging at my arms pulling me toward the house. “I’m sorta afraid it’s too good to be true.” I admitted looking down at her. For the millionth time, I pondered how badly that piercing in her nose must have hurt. She has a tiny silver ring in her septum that just hangs low enough to have a bit of movement. The dainty little diamond high in her left nostril fits tightly against her skin and barely catches the light. Becca was always modifying herself, but I liked her nose the best. Me? I’m a big wuss. I don’t like pain. I have one set of ear piercings to her many and nothing else pierced to her many other piercings. I have it on good authority Becca’s face isn’t the only location with non-biological holes! Just the thought of her pierced flower gave me a serious physical shiver. No way in a hairy dolphin will I ever get my lady bits pierced! I promised myself after that stray thought filtered through my mind. “Yeah, I can’t shake that feeling either… Only just a tiny bit though! They even paid the closing costs and shit. We are moving in on the down payment only, that’s nuts! We can cover that together no problem! You’re amazing by the way! Have I told you that today? We couldn’t do this without you.” Becca says turning around swiftly and stretching up to kiss my cheek meaning I had to bend down cause she pulled me to her. I loved Becca, but I’m a very introverted person. Hugs were the most contact Becca and I had shared and those were infrequent bro-hug type thingies. My childhood was sort of difficult. My parents were great, but my health wasn’t. I ostracized myself from the outside world and only went out when I had to. Trying to date my neighbor Trent had been Mom’s idea. I over invested and it sort of crushed my will to date for a while. Mom’s therapist (I refused to call her my own) said I have a social anxiety disorder. I thought I just like being alone, but I don’t have a Doctorate in what other people think so I got ignored. The kiss was new for us. I didn’t know what to do with it, but my hand drifted up to my face touching the trace of heat her lips had left. “You know, I only have a few days before I have to be out of my apartment. It stinks that I’ll have to move twice.” I complained. “Ah. You’ll only be a couch bum for a couple days. Maybe a couple weeks tops. We are happy to have you.” Becca reminded me of her offer to let me bunk on their couch at Trent’s apartment. “Uh... I decided to stay at the La Quinta Becks. They have a suite and I booked it for seven days. They gave me a good rate, and I’m not hurting for money. Besides, I don’t want to squash the newlywed vibe you two have going on.” I told her following her up to the house. “Awe, really? That’s no fun!” She huffed. “We’ll be all up in each other’s business before you know it. I’m excited. I’ll get more room for about the same money with this house. This move is a no-brainer for me babe.” I said looking down at her. “I may have bought it without you guys if I’d have been brave enough.” “I’m sorry they sold your building, but I’m not sorry to move in with my best friend!” Becca laughed hugging me tightly resting her head on my chest. “Your tall today.” Becca commented looking down at my hikers then back up at my face. “I’m always tall, and your always short!” I giggled and took a turn dragging her a few steps toward our new home. Becca took the lead guiding me around the backside of the house. She was a touchy-feely chick, but today she was a bit over the top. She’d always been that way, and it had been hard for me since I was a pre-teen. I’d dealt with the touching because I trusted her though. She was my first real friend after we’d moved when I was eight. I trusted Becca to get a good feel for the house just like I trusted Trent’s handi-maness to determine if the house was sound. The Lord knows I couldn’t do either! I giggled to myself. You have a certain set of skills… and house buying isn’t one of them. I thought in my best Liam Neeson impression. I hate getting out of the house, and college was just torture for me. My freshman year they made me live in the dorms! With people! I’d fallen into a light depression that year, but I had pushed through my problems and gotten my degree. I don’t really like to be touched, looked at, talked to… Fine. I’m a hermit. Dating was was even worse than living with strangers! It’s not that I enjoyed being alone, but guys just didn’t understand when I needed time alone. I just never really clicked with any of them. They couldn’t give me my alone time. Eventually, I gave up on dating altogether. I worked from home, shopped from home, ate at home, and gamed from home. I had a few friends and a truly lovely family. I just didn’t feel the need to get involved with humanity beyond that. “Look! Look!” Becca shouted as we rounded the house treading on a newer looking stone path. “Oh My stars!” Was all I could say. It was beautiful and I was left standing there dumbfounded. The back of the house looked very different from the pictures that Becca had shown me. There was a patio off the back door maybe three feet or so off the ground accounting for the grade of the hill. That wasn’t the only change though. Four humongous pillars rose from the patio on each of it’s corners. They were supporting another deck. I looked up at the bottom of the upper deck… my deck? There were two new decks, an upper and a lower, off the back of the house! I followed Becca, well got dragged by her, up a beautiful set of stairs. The dark wood had a tinge of red in the stain and was finished immaculately. The handrail was so smooth that when I ran my hand along it, I had no fear of splinters. “B...Becca! Do I really have my own outside access?!?” I stuttered in disbelief. “Yeah, Trent put that on the improvement list right at the top just for the hell of it. Look at this shit! They actually had it done!” Becca gushed literally jumping up and down. “I… I can’t believe it. It’s… so perfect.” I gaped reaching out to touch my own door. “Girl, just wait till we go inside! I don't’ have this key, but look it’s like a real balcony up here!” She giggled turning around to look at the yard. She drug me back around to the front door, but I had a hard time leaving my deck because it was cute and the view was amazing. I was already imaging watching the sunset out here. It looked like I’d have to see the first floor before I had the chance to see my floor though. The Finns had really put in a lot of effort for us, for me. I couldn’t believe all the work that had been done. It was nothing short of amazing. I was that much closer to a new dog. I was thrilled. All the woods in the house were all rich and dark where the walls were a complimentary lighter color. I was sure my little spaz of a friend would end up repainting a few rooms because her tastes are… her own? “Becks I’m pretty happy right now. I’m just so glad you and Trent finally have your own place, well you know mostly your own. I feel like I’m invading though, but I promise I’m like a recluse or something! I won’t mess with your newlywed vibe.” I told her trying to get her to slow down. “Pish! Trent will be on the road a lot, most of the week really. He may start taking some overnight runs or sleeping in his truck. They pay a crazy wad of cash for those two-day runs. We have my car, but he wants to get a bike for running back and forth to work. With you here, I won’t be alone when he’s off being the Man of the House!” Becca said growling in a low voice. “Trent could use some butching up ya know. Those truckers are going to eat alive with that metro head of hair and total lack of man-beard. He looks like a teenage boy… If he carried a hipster bag, they’d probably beat the poop out of him on the spot.” I laughed. “Hey! That’s MY metro-man you’re mouthing there.” Becca put up a token defense of her husband, but lacking in real conviction. She drew up to her full height, which unfortunately for her was just shorter than your average girl. It always makes me giggle when she gets her back up and I still have to look down at her. She looked at me with death in her eyes and then broke laughing hysterically. She hugged me in our shared excitement as we headed upstairs together. It was time to see my floor! There was a small landing upstairs and then a weird shaped hallway. I couldn’t see from one end of the floor to the other, but I’d noticed that in the pictures before. I was already figuring out how to divide up the rooms to create a full house on the second floor. I wanted a nice bedroom suite and there was a beautiful humongous master bedroom suite on this floor on the east wall. I wanted an office, guest room, and a pretend kitchen/dining room. Then I’d have a full apartment on this floor, but this house wasn’t built with that in mind. It did have a dedicated bathroom on this floor that could be a guest bathroom, so that was nice. There was plenty of rooms for the other stuff I wanted to do and I’d get around to it all eventually. “Look it! They put in an outside door on the landing!” She said her platinum hair and purple braids bouncing off her shoulders. The purple braids were tipped with silver skull-face hair ties. “I see. This is super amazing Becks! I can’t believe this. It’s almost like this floor has been remade into a real apartment. I’ll be able to take out a dog and not bother you!” I stood there shocked all over again excitement building. “I know! We’ll love your dog, but I’m glad you can do that out your own door. Just… you know walk it away from the porch a ways.” Becca admitted. “I promise Becks. I’ll do the poop bags and everything.” I agreed. “We told the Finns that we couldn’t afford the place all on our own. Ashley let on like they thought we had to get a renter. I thought she’d look our financial paperwork closer than that.” Becca told me shrugging like it was the realtor’s loss. “So... She knows I’m a co-signer right? I mean I’m covering most of the down payment and all the taxes.” I asked. “I guess, I’m sure she does by now at least. Worst case, she’ll find out at the closing won’t she?” Becca laughed. “It’ll be nice to meet the Finns at least the once.” I admitted. “Let me show ya the rest, there’s more.” Becca’s silver bracelets clacked together as she clapped her hands bounding off once again. Rebecca Phillips is my best friend, but she was just coming out of her goth phase. I was thrilled for that! Goth was preceded by a punk phase, and I for one would love to see the end of all the leather and silver buckles. The punk stuff came after her stab at grunge in her senior year. Japanese culture influenced most of High School before the grunge phase. The entertaining part of my besty is that none of the phases were ever totally left behind. They all left a mark on her eclectic sense of style. I bought her several of those noisey bracelets over the last few years. The purple streaks in her hair were left over from our junior year when two toned hair was her thing. Well, at least the punk and goth phases shared a lot of the same clothes! Goth just added a ton of dark makeup to the mix, at least that’s for the most part how it worked for Becca. I don’t know, there may be a few more piercings these days. I giggled to myself looking at her. Strangely, I found myself doing it much more frequently than I used too. I refocused on my wind chime sounding friend and the tour she was giving. It turned out one of the room’s had been upgraded just for me! There were some basic cabinets making a bar against one wall. They had installed a small overhead cabinet on one end and a fridge on the opposite wall. It immediately reminded me of a workplace break room. The only stuff I’ll have to do downstairs is oven stuff and my laundry! I notice unable to fight back my own sniffles suddenly overwhelmed by the Finns’ thoughtfulness. “Good gracious Becca, this place is amazing! I can’t get around how perfect this house is. I can’t believe they even got a fridge up here. It’s ridiculous!” I gush. “I know! Trent keeps coming over here looking for flaws. Poor guy has a bit of a glass-half-empty complex. It can be hard to keep him happy.” She giggled her hand resting on my arm. ----- I’m a few years older than Trent who was a few years older than Becca’s twenty. Twenty-four wasn’t ancient or anything, but I was the college grad with a few years of working and life under my belt. I would always be the oldest in our house. I loved Becca, but we’d never lived together, and I certainly didn’t have the upper hand in relationship edicate. I had few relationships and even fewer long term friends. Was all this touching normal? I asked myself trying to fight off the sense of invaded space she was stirring up. That day though, we both gushed and giggled about moving into our new house. We talked a lot about the new appliances and discussed colors for our walls. The owners were going to leave the couch and one bed in the guest bedroom downstairs until we closed, then it’d be a flurry to get all our crappy furniture in that beautiful house. ----- All the banking was done, so we were ready when Closing Day came around a few weeks later. All we had to was sign on the dotted lines. We were filled with nervous energy while Trent remained aloof standing with his arms crossed through most of the meeting. It was terrifying and thrilling at the same time. Admittedly, I could afford the house on my own, and I wouldn’t have co-signed with my friends if that weren’t the case. Plan for the worst case scenario! Dad was worried life would smack me and leave me in a lurch so I never got in over my head. I planned to squirrel away the difference that the Phillips would be covering so I had my budget worked out for worst case. Plus I needed to rebuild my savings after the down payment. Becca and I crashed on the downstairs couch as the sun was setting the evening after we closed on the house. Trent had to leave running his first night load. So, we were alone to celebrate in our new house. The view was amazing through the full windows on the west side of the house. We were nestled in watching the oranges and reds while she sipped a beer and I nursed at a sweet tea. Becca, being so short, could only lean her head against my shoulder, but it was comfortable and so was the silence in the room. She took a pull off her beer and looked up at me with her big chocolate brown eyes. She whispered, “I couldn’t do this with anyone else ya know.” “I know Becks. I get it. You don’t have to tell me. Seriously, it’s not charity. You guys really bailed me out here. If you can stand me for a couple years, you’ll be out of school and you won’t need me any more.” I pat her leg letting her know I wouldn’t intrude forever. Her body language changed immediately. She sort of shrank in on herself and sat up separating herself from me. A shadow crossed her face and her hands quickly covered her eyes. Soft sobs wracked her body and her pale shoulders bobbed keeping time with the crying. “Shit Ann. I’m sorry.” She sniffed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, you are literally the only reason we can get this place!” “Oh Becks…” I started honestly confused. Becca cut me off, “No, it took both our credit ratings and you as a cosigner. I just meant please, please, please put up with us for a few years before your life sweeps you out of town. I’ll be ready to help with the bills then. Part-time just doesn’t cover much. Maybe I’ll be ready to let you go by then too.” I turn to do something I have never done before, something that had never occured to me before. I kissed the top of her head. Poor thing, I thought as she tugged me into a side hug burrowing into me. I’m never going to want to leave. I don’t want to get swept away with life or my carrier. I thought to myself not finding the words or the will to say anything. Becca was one of the coolest outgoing people I knew, but she seemed so fragile right then. One day I’d find out what had her so worried, but on that day I attributed it to the stress of debt and moving. “Sorry Becca. I get it. I guess I thought this might be long term thing. You know ‘Crazy Aunt Ann’ living upstairs taking care of your kids in the evenings so you two could do stuff together. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course, I’ll stay long enough for you to finish school… long enough you won’t need me.” I whispered. “Shit! Damn! Ah Hell Annie. That’s N-O-T what I meant. You better bet your ass that you’ll be crazy Aunt Ann! We may need one of those rooms eventually. Trent wants to ruin my body with at least two kids. There’s only the one spare room down here unless we give up our office.” Becca rushed. “Sorry. I just… Well… Poop. Becks they are tearing down my building! I can’t catch a break anywhere. I thought you were telling me I wasn’t going to be welcome in a few years. I… it’s... I’m sorry.” I sniffed. “Such a potty mouth on such a pretty face.” Becca joked turning my words against me over my pseudo cussing. She got up on her knees and returned my kiss leaving my face uncomfortably close to her cleavage. I sprung up and drug her to the master bedroom on the second floor. My bedroom had a beautiful attached bathroom. It looked like my bedroom was a bit bigger than theirs and i secretly loved that. Buying the whole floor for half the house payment was a steal for me, but I wanted to cheer Becca up. “Your’s and Trent’s room is almost as big as his whole apartment. Plus, it’s on the opposite side of my outside entrance.” I pointed out. “Yeah, it’s a big fucking upgrade from my dorm room!” She bursted out laughing. “This is a huge upgrade for me too! Potty mouth.” I asserted. We moved to what I thought would be my guest room, “Well, the second room downstairs could be the boy’s room. You don’t want those yard apes too close to your room though. Too much rough housing in there. Then you’d have the kid’s bathroom, and then girls room up here if we had to. You know in the future.” “Or you could keep your office if I have two boys or two girls. Since you live up there, you’d have to take care of em if I put any spillover kids upstairs. Maybe we could put that baby monitor receiver in your room!” She teased. “You’re breastfeeding aren’t you!” I blanched looking mortified. No way I wanted to get up at night! “Hell, I don’t know! That’s at least after college and the first year of work or so!” Her face scrunched. “I have to wait like three FLIPPING years to live vicariously through your motherhood!” I mock panicked. “OMG! You’re going to have to get a handle on that fucking mouth before you burn my poor baby’s ears off with your verbal filth!” Becca teased me. “Why I never! My momma would probably spank me to this day if she caught me talking like you! Those poor babies!” I giggled. We broke off in a fit of laughter. Becca hugged closely to me as we walked back into her room hip to thigh. It was a big impressive room too. I really liked her room, but it was the view I was in love with even if my room was a bit bigger. I was truly happy for her and thrilled to be sharing the house with her. She ran a hand down my hair and stepped away from me taking my hand again. More touchy-feely boundaries were broken that day than in both of my previous dating relationships! I didn’t know what to do. I already loved Becca, but I didn’t see other people behaving like this with their friends. Course, one has to leave the house to see other people... Going to have to hit the internet for some research. I’m not sure if I should be offended or not. Still, it’s nice to be this close to someone. I decided. “God we can do anything in here! It’s so huge!” She said sounding like she was in a bit of a weird mood. “I could fit my whole dorm room in here fridge and microwave and everything!” Becca pointed out. “I won’t have an oven upstairs, but I don’t cook much so that wouldn’t be a problem!” I said getting truly excited. “Well, you’ll be eating downstairs with the family anytime I cook.” Becca asserted. “Bah you cook all the time! I’m going to wear out my welcome!” I worried. “Honey, you can’t wear out your welcome. You know why? It’s because your family, and I love you!” She reminded me. “I don’t wanna mess up the whole newlywed humping like rabid bunnies vibe you two have.” I giggled. We left Birch House in a good mood having spent some time in it dreaming of our futures. We headed over to Becca and Trent’s place and grabbed the boxes Trent had brought home for packing. It was enough boxes to move a whole house of people. Becca ran into PIzza Hut for a hot and ready pizza on our way to my hotel. The Packing had started. “Ok, Let’s pack this shit!” She giggled grabbing a piece of ham off the top of our pizza. “Oh I give up! Wish I had something to shove in your mouth so you wouldn’t foul up my air!” I said laughing at her potty mouth. “I’m sure I’ll spontaneously stop cursing as soon as the house is packed with diapers and pacifiers… Till then, Fuck Off!” She cackled at herself. “Let’s watch a movie or something while we pack.”  
  2. Birch House - Chapters 11

    So... Two months sounds like a long time and all three characters have gone through a lot. Some of it will be discussed as we go, but this isn't a story about life's dramas only, it's about the things happening to Annie and Becca. Not much has escalated in that area... Not yet. Plus, for those who read The Woes of Maddison Page, I've already explored a life tracking story. We are exploring something new in those book! Lastly, shock and denial are strong things that can wrap time in a cacoon while the ignore thier problems. Besides, they are all super busy. You'll see.
  3. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Birch House Chapter 11 --- Becca --- “Say something Trent!” I huffed at him openly begging him to understand. “I don’t know what to say.” He snapped staring ahead blankly. “I didn’t really cheat. I wasn’t… It was Ann for fucks sake! She wouldn’t hurt us. I was drunk with my best FEMALE friend. It was fine. I will be fine. It’s no big deal. I was just still revved up from that magical fuck fest you gave me, and well the diapers were new, I don’t know about that… and the TV was sexy… God Trent! I’m just so fucking sorry!” I wailed. I curled up in the bed too terrified to meet his gaze. It was so unlike me. I was the leader in our relationship. I set the tones. I set the rules. I defined the boundaries. I kept Trent in line not the other way around. My face covered in my terrified hands, I waited to see which future that I was bound to. “I… Did you cheat on me?” He asked me pain in his voice. “I don’t feel like I did.” I rushed. “I feel like I stumbled on something… something like bondage or something.” I tried to deflect. “But she’s a person! A person I know! Someone I’d have to look in the eye! A person who owns half this damn house!” He shouted getting fired up. “I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t… it was like she was a toy, a vibrator or something. Not the person. I didn’t even know what was happening. It was so fast. I was so drunk...” I whimpered. “Do you love her?” He asked me. “You know I do.” I told him pleading. “Do you want me to leave?” He sounded miserable the fight visibly fading from his body. “NO BABE! I FUCKING LOVE YOU. I MARRIED YOU. I HAVE REAL SEX WITH YOU. I WANT YOU HOME WITH ME ALL THE TIME. IT’S YOUR DICK I DREAM ABOUT.” I yelled. “Do you dream about her too?” He begged me with his eyes. “IT’S YOUR BABIES I WANT TRENT!” “Do you love her?” He asked again very stoically. “You mean romantically?” I asked terror in my heart. “Yeah, Rebecca, do you love your best friend as a girlfriend, a lover, a wife?” He clarified. I paused totally freaked out by his question. “That says everything I need to know. You couldn’t answer me.” He told me standing calmly. “Trent, No! I was just shocked.” I watched him walk toward the bedroom door. “You shouldn’t be shocked. It should have been immediate, and you certainly haven’t denied it yet.” He pointed out. His words smacked me in the face again. Should I have had an immediate denial on my tongue? Should his question have freaked me out that much? I didn’t really feel that way about Annie did I? I felt my head cock to the side in a quick twerk, “Listen, you shocked me so bad. I’ve never thought that way about Ann!” I screamed at his back willing him to stop. He paused and turned around, “You don’t... You don’t sound confident enough. I think I have the answer I need. You cheated on me! How many times have I promised your ass I’d never cheat on you! Do you know how many times I’ve had to turn girls down?!? I loved you Rebecca! I still love you, but I’m so mad right now. I’m even more mad because I’m turned on too.” He yelled and slammed his hand into the frame of my door causing a shudder to ripple through Birch House. “Don’t leave pissed Trent. You just got home. Let’s just calm down and eat or something. Don’t leave. This isn’t like that. It was an accident. I was drunk.” I begged whimpering and crawling toward him. “I get it. That’s why I don’t drink anymore. It's hard isn’t it? Dealing with what you did? What have you done to Ann?!? That’s the worst part! She has that condition. It’s like picking on a handicap kid! She can’t love you back that way Ann. You cheated on me with someone who can never return your feelings!” He thundered turning to leave again. “She doesn’t know I remember.” I told him as a last shot at forgiveness. “What?” He paused. “I lied. I woke up this morning and pretended like I was so drunk, that I couldn’t remember.” “Why?” He asked. “It’ll kill her if you leave because we cheated and she didn’t even feel anything. It was super weird. I don’t know what happened, but I swear it wasn’t cheating.” I begged him. “Then why did you have to lie?” He challenged a decision slipped over him and his shoulders rose and his posture changed. He paused to look me over. My body language displayed the desperation I was feeling. I could smell it wafting off me. I could smell his anger and disappointment. I could see the betrayal he felt. And, I loathed myself. I was such a fucking failure. He didn’t deserve this, and neither did I. I really hadn’t done anything that couldn’t have been forgiven, that I wouldn’t have forgiven him for. I was balling by then, “No clothes even came off. You let that dude get further with me last year on Spring Break!” I threw my hail mary. I hadn’t wanted to defend myself that way. Frankly, I didn’t think I’d need to defend myself. I was as pissed as Trent was, but I wasn’t going to let my anger free. I didn’t give two fucks about being mad. I cared about salvaging my marriage! “Alright look. I wasn’t going to go back out, but this… happened.” He waved his hands between us. “They need another run tomorrow. It’s an all day thing. Not overnight, but all day. I’m going to take that run and clear my head… think a little bit. I’m not leaving you, but I’m hurt and very very angry.” He told me facing the living room door. “You have to text me some while you’re gone. I don’t want you to forget me.” I prophesied. “I’m not leaving Rebecca. I just need to calm down before I say things that we’ll regret, things we can’t come back from. I’ll text you, but give me some space.” Then he was gone. He walked out the door without a kiss, hug, or an ‘I love you’. He left and I balled. I wailed and howled my misery in the foyer of my house behind a door that felt so final. The insulation at Birch House must have been amazing because I never heard a peep from Annie, and she never came to check on me, no matter how much noise I made. Everyone is leaving me... --- Ann --- It had been six days since whatever-that-was happened between Becca and I. All my effort went into trying to forget, but I wasn’t able to. I hadn’t forgotten a single frame of that mental film. It was on loop in my head from moment to moment. I hadn’t had to look at anything online to help me with my physical needs since then. That was the first time in my life that I pleased myself with a real person, the first time I brought pleasure to someone else... Each night in my bed, I had lain there, freshly diapered, and fought a losing battle against those memories. There was an internal court battle going on as my moral light and dark sides lawyered up and litigated the situation. It was an argument of justification for my internal record books! To make things worse, I’d had a couple of accidents… during the day. I was back to being in the bathroom most of my time. Yesterday, I’d been forced to start going to the toilet preemptively, every hour and a half! My nerves were shot, my control appeared to be failing, and I’d… something’d with my best friend! I had plenty of time to wallow in my own misery sucking myself deeper into the miasma of depression. I berated myself for my terrible behavior and then excused it away in the next moment cycling through points of view. That had given me a loose stomach all week. My nerves way over producing stomach acid liquefying everything I ate. In the end, all six nights, my dirty little hand snaked its way over, around, and under my night time diaper while I drew on those images frame by frame. I recalled each touch of her fingers and each caress of her breath. I remembered her rigid body as she worked her way into a frenzy against me. I could remember the feel of her soggy diaper on my thigh. How the plastic shell, wet with sweat, stuck to my leg as she ground it into me. It was the single most arousing moment of my life. I remembered with all of my senses. It was a magical moment for me and despite all the trouble that moment brought us, I was beginning to think it had been worth it. That stolen few minutes of intimacy was invaluable to someone like me. I got off for the seventh night since my Mom left, and I still hadn’t seen or heard from Becca. I missed her. I wanted to talk to her, but I was so very afraid. Maybe I’ve masturbated enough to get over it, or contain myself at least. Fudgenuggets! I fussed in my mind as I wet my diaper a short twenty minutes after I’d put it on. I was exhausted. The week had been terrible. I couldn’t sleep and working was nearly impossible. I watched the carport like a hawk. I had watched Mom leave and so had Trent an hour or so later. He hadn’t come back until Monday night. I was such a coward and a terrible friend. I hadn’t checked on Becca. That was eating me up too. Trent had only stayed Monday night and Wednesday night at home, both nights coming in late and leaving early. I was worried for them. I was worried I’d forced myself on my drunken friend and violated everything I could in that moment. I was worried I’d destroyed three lives, and still… all I could think about was Becca. --- Becca --- I miss Annie so much. I can’t smell her downstairs anymore. I can’t smell Trent in my bedroom either. Trent’s scent is stale, muted. It smells like me all over but what I’ve lost is fading away. I’m such a terrible bitch. Poor Annie. She’s probably a mess. Trent is way overreacting about this. I was honest. I didn’t mean anything that happened, and I didn’t mean anything by it either. I didn’t let it go any further. I confessed right away. The ass hasn’t even checked on his “best friend.” She’s up there probably going through the toughest shit of her life and neither of us are there for her. God!!! It’s been almost two months! I don’t give two shits about that fucking fence anymore. I just want my fucking husband back. [Me] I made lunch… [Trent] Thanks. Leave it outside? [Me] Cool in here. Have lunch with me? [Trent] I’m almost done. Just leave it outside, or I’ll just eat it later. Damn him! Fucking pig shitting fuck pickles! I stomped in circles snapping my jaws at the air. I’d been involuntarily celibate for nearly sixty days. It was fucking torture! Trent and I were young. One of the foundations of our relationship was constant attentive adventurous fucking. I had a minor lapse in judgement that I had more than suffered the penalty for. I was starting to feel righteously pissed off myself, and my fucking horn, that’s what I was calling the cyst thing on my ass, was the most annoying thing of it. Time for the big guns. I sighed trying to get my head in the right space for sexy. I put my phone down and slipped on my laciest sheer white thong. My ass looked amazing even with Mount St. Horn-ious poking out. My ass cheeks were the main attraction not the surgical bandage I was using to cover the horn growing above my ass. I tugged it up tight giving my freshly shaven puss a delicious-looking camel toe. The skin of my vag was a much darker shade than my regular skin tone now, nearly black, and showed through the sheer material seductively. I sprayed his favorite perfume on myself and lightly rubbed on some glitter lotion across my dark nips and abs and in my panties. I pulled my pixie cut white hair up into an intricate set of braids wrapped around my head like a crown. I did my makeup minimally, cause it was hot out, and I wanted to get hotter. [Me] Bringing lunch. Meet me at the patio. Cold Beer and T&A! Ok. Don't be nervous bitch. He’s already checked out. If your marriage is salvageable then you got to do something drastic. Shake that shit loose. Trent made his way up the hill to the house. He was half naked, not the business half, but the fun to look at half. I crave cock like some chicks crave chocolate, but they aren’t all that fun to look at. Now Trent’s sweaty man-chest that was something of glory. His love trail had grown thicker and darker since I’d seen it last, maybe higher too. My mouth watered and my long tongue snaked out to gather the moisture from the corners of my mouth. I shaved for this. His ass better appreciate it! I’d prepared myself for striking out, but prayed that I wouldn’t. He had no idea how difficult it was to keep a lady-like appearance these days. I’d went from shaving once a week, which was really more of a touch up, to shaving daily! Well, I shaved daily if I wanted to be hair free. Strangely, I had to shave almost all of my body except my pussy. It was weird. Getting older sucka da donkey balls! That’s another doctor I need to see. So head guy for smelling and hearing, eye guy for vision getting weird, and skin guy for color changes and the hairy shit. Fuck that! I want my bell rung. Sexy hips go! I thought sauntering out onto the patio, mostly naked, to deliver my husband his food. It was time. This was sort of the same thing as the Rose Ceremony on the Bachelor. I fucking hate that show. I closed the sliding glass patio door and turned around confidently. I put a genuine smile on my face cause well, my man had pecks! Really delicious pecks! “Lunch is served!” I told him holding a plate loaded with a sandwich and chips in one hand and a cold ass beer in the other with my hip cocked to the side and a wicked smile on my face. Trent looked from my smile to my chest causing my nipples to tighten. I gently shook my tits so that they swayed gently while he watched them. I was a peacock enjoying the attention. A lecherous smile spread across his face as his eyes trailed down my body. His look changed from arousal to cautiousness. “How’s Ann doing? You know with her diaper thing.” He asked me. Fucking seriously! “I don’t know.” I told him running a black painted sharpe fingernail down his bare chest leaving a narrow red raised line on his skin. “I haven’t talked to her in a couple months.” I told him loving the feel of his skin dragging against my nail. “I promised Mrs. Smith we’d keep an eye on her.” He told me as his wanton look returned. That’s the look I want on his face! Woo hoo! I pushed Trent’s sweaty body down into the patio chair and straddled his legs. I arched my back and reached behind me sitting his plate down. I brought the cold as hell beer around between us, and brushed the can over my nipples. They immediately popped to attention as I ran them over the mouth of the beer can. I let it rest between my tits and leaned forward to kiss my husband for the first time in weeks. Our mouths crushed together and he squealed like a little girl. “Shit that’s cold as hell!” He laughed taking the can from me. I shrugged, “Felt good to me.” I told him arching my back and stretching in his lap. He took a huge drink of his beer and set it on the table beside us. My arched back pushed my boobs in his face, and the natural light caused them to shimmer like gems. He took the invitation. His mouth full of cool beer inhaled my nipple. It felt amazing. I was wetter than I ever remember being. My thong was saturated and I was probably getting Trent’s cargo shorts wet. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.” I screamed not caring if the neighbors or God heard me. “You too babe.” He told me drawing a hickey on my right tit. “Let’s go to the room.” “Nope, I made lunch for my working man.” I laughed tearing off a bit of sandwich pushing it towards his mouth. “Eat up.” Perky, that’s how I tried to sound, but I’m pretty sure it came off slutty. Eh… That works too. I tugged his cargo pants off him followed quickly by his underwear. I left him nude while I stood up smiling at him and took my top all the way. “I’ll have my lunch, you have yours.” I licked my lips and inhaled the scent of his manhood kneeling between his hairy legs. “So freaking hot!” He choked out around his bite of sandwich. I took Trent into my mouth and simply enjoyed pleasing him. My knees hurt kneeling on the deck, but enduring that pain was an apology of another type. I was determined to apologize with all my skill. I apologized the fuck out of Trent! He was so distracted by my hard work that it took him almost ten full minutes to eat his sandwich. I ended up finishing him off about the same time that he finished his food. He pulled me up as I was swallowing him down. “God babe, that was amazing.” He told me kissing me. We thoroughly apologized to each other on the back deck not giving a fuck who could see or hear us. Eventually, we stumbled to the bedroom for a nap a while later. We woke up in the late afternoon in each other’s arms for the first time in months. I was deliriously happy. “Babe, I’m trying. I’m sorry, and I promise I’m trying.” He told me softly. “I’m trying too. I needed you in me. I was afraid Trent. Genuinely afraid. I thought I’d lost you.” I cried softly. I. Never. Cry. “I was too.” He said softly. We made slow intimate love to each other happy to be with each other in our bedroom again. We ate in bed and passed out in each other’s arms that Saturday night. We woke up early the next Sunday morning and went outside to finish his fence. “Babe.” Trent said pointing to the house with a head nod. Ann was walking up the stairs with a few bags in her arms. My heart went out to her and I felt restless seeing her. I could never forget my best friend. I was something of an empty husk without her. I needed Ann in my life again, but I was too afraid to screw up my mended bridge with Trent. I’d made my choice. I took one last longing look at my leggy friend and got back to work on the fence not looking back again. “We need to check on her. We’ve had our problems, but we have been shitty friends.” Trent finally said. “Trent…” I faltered. “No Babe, we promised Mrs. Smith. She’s my best friend next to you and your best friend period. I get that. I’ll try hard not to be jealous. I promise, but we are a trio not a duo. I knew I was buying a relationship with Ann when I asked you to marry me.” He sighed. “Just not in a naked or orgasmic way…” I wiped the sweat from my forehead, “Alright Trent. You have my word. Nothing will happen between us again. Sides no clothes came off. Nothing naked happened.” “I believe you’ll do your very best Babe.” He told me standing next to me and patting my head. I beamed at his praise. “How do we fix this?” He asked. “Well, remember she doesn’t know I remember. Prolly figured it out by now. She’s a smarty pants, but sometimes she misses shit with social things. Too much alone time.” I nodded standing. “Well, we are finished here. We need to celebrate. How about a barbeque? What’s Ann’s favorite?” He asked. “Fuck if I care! Meat! Ribs Baby. Momma needs Ribs!” I squealed. “You go get the stuff and I’ll get her.” I laughed. [Me] Annie? [Ann] Rebecca? Fuck. I’m in so much trouble if she’s using my whole name. She answered though! [Me] … I miss you. Five minutes passed. [Ann] I’ve missed you too. [Me] How are you? [Ann] Still dealing. [Me] I’m sorry. [Ann] Me too. A few more minutes passed. [Ann] For what? [Me] Huh? [Ann] What are you sorry for? [Me] Falling off the face of the planet for like, months… [Ann] How’s Trent? [Me] Happy right now. Satisfied. Getting the meats! We’re grillin! [Ann] Good to hear. Parking has been sort of sparse lately. I was worried. [Me] Yeah… Not been an awesome couple of months for us. [Ann] Me either. I’m still soggy. [Me] Babe, I’m so sorry. [Ann] It is what it is. Twenty minutes pass. [Me] Can I come up? [Ann] I need you too. You need me too? Alright! Calm down… I stood and focused. [Me] Yeah, I need a hug too.
  4. Angel Hunter (Chapter 20 up April 17)

    Well done man! Nice fight. you'll have to stop self-deprecating that portion of your writing now. Is there more planned or is it just a cliff hanger ending?
  5. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Well, remember Ann has an issue where she can't feel sexual attraction to someone unless she's already established an emotional / romantic. For her, it's a slow build from trust to friendship from friendship to a almost familial love then she can finally find someone attractive. That physical attraction grows with love and trust over time. Trent had his shot. She jumped out on an emotional limb, in Ann's universe, and he "cheated" on her and crushed his opportunity. I spanked the internet and she confessed a term I've never heard of before "demisexual". There's an "ism" for everything as it turns out! So, the current dynamic is a newly sexually awakened (to one person) Ann, a totally heterosexual female Becca, and a totally heterosexual male Trent living under the same roof with complex relationship dynamics between each. There's a marriage at jeopardy and several friendships, not to mention being in the same house. Fortunately, the Finn's made sure there was outside access to both floors!
  6. Party Girl (4-16)

    Nice staging!
  7. Angel Hunter (Chapter 20 up April 17)

    Well that was a tease! Well, I feel reinvested and bereft! LoL
  8. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Thanks for the compliment! I asked Wanna to help... I may weave a fun story, but English major I am not. If you see something screwed up or just want to chat feel free to message me. Thanks again. Thank you wanna for your hard work!
  9. What Happened to Ella Marsh?

    Well... I'm engaged! I look forward to this. I hope new sis isn't to big a pain. Maybe new mom can be nice and new sis can get all motherly best friendy... Good stories, the ones that hook into your heart and bring me back to read more... They grab my heart. Hook me to the characters and lead me threw thier world. You did great with the nurse and Ella. Awesome!
  10. The Woes of Maddison Page Prologue - Monday, The Week Before Christmas Break - Mom was sitting on the couch in the living room spaced out. She’d had another feverish afternoon buzzing around cleaning up an already spotless house. She also cooked us a meal that was way too big for the two of us, again. I swear Mom had to have imagined dirt to clean and mouths to feed! Daddy had never pushed her to keep the house that clean or cook that much. He’d been just as happy with take out as the next guy. Mom did this. She did this to herself somehow. It was just after we lost Daddy that these tics started showing up. Whatever the reason, I’m pretty sure we could have eaten off the picture frames in the hallway, the house was that damn clean. Hell, I bet the FDA would have approved eating off our floors! Our house was that clean! You’d never believe the woman sitting on my couch worked full time, cooked for an army, and cleaned house like a full crew all before seven. She just looked too cute in her PJs. Mom was crashing hard after her long day. She was just sitting there looking adorable watching Adventure Time. It was my senior year of high school and we were in the off season of cross country. I was done. My high school athletic career was over. No more practices for me, so I was getting home around three of four in the evenings. It was a big improvement over six or so that I’d drag in after practice. I’d finished my homework as soon as I got home, and moved on to other tasks. I finally felt like I had time to properly prepare for school and my job with sports no longer a draw on my time. It was a treat not to be so rushed! I wasn’t working that night either, so I decided to be productive another way. No time like the present to get the adult stuff done! I had my laptop setup on the kitchen table working my way through this month’s bills. You have to be careful or it will really pile up on you. Besides, someone had to do it and Mom wasn’t ever going to be the best candidate. Mom and I were paid on different schedules. I was paid twice a month, once on the fifteenth and then again on the thirtieth. Mom was paid every two weeks. You have to keep up with that stuff! It makes it tricky to pay bills when your income isn’t as predictable as the due dates, but I kept on top of it. I’ve been paying our bills and managing our budget for the last three years. It was much easier to just break everything down to the first and the sixteenth right after I got paid. Then, I’d pay it all and didn’t have to worry until the next half of the month came around. This month’s stuff was stacked neatly in two piles representing two different excel worksheets in the master budget workbook that I kept. Three years in the Microsoft Office Certification electives at my high school were actually coming in handy! My spreadsheet was pretty elaborate. It’s a real shame I didn’t have a good backup plan going. “Honey, are you done with the paperwork yet?” Mom called from the living room. She called everything from my homework to reading the mail the ‘paperwork’. “Almost, I just balanced our checking accounts. I just need to deduct the bills and pay stuff online real fast.” I replied. “Will you bring me sumpin ta drink when you come this way?” Mom yelled. “You bet. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” I told her. Electronic Bill Pay is a Godsend! I didn’t even have to keep up with stamps anymore. I just created a new payee and boom, they got their money. It really streamlined how I managed our finances. I checked my notes and vowed again to read up on mom’s retirement plan. I just didn’t understand 401k’s enough for my own satisfaction. So, I typed a note on my digital calendar reminding me to look into it. I blew out a tired breath. I’d be leaving for college soon, and I really wanted to make sure mom would be taken care of. I might not be living with her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t keep up with this stuff for her. The bills were the easy part, now at least. I could do it from a dorm room too. “Momma, looks like Wellington’s will be out to top off the gas early next week. We have that covered, but it will be a bit tight till the eighteenth when you get paid.” I shouted from the kitchen. I paused and asked, “Are you going to be home to take the invoice and pay them? It should be Monday or Tuesday.” “Baby, I’m still good in savings, right? If something comes up, you can just transfer some money over with your phone thingy, ya?” Mom yelled back. “Yup. I put it on your phone too. I added air filters to the Walmart list.” I told her. “I’ll make sure I’m available for the gas guy honey. I’ll just run home from work. They usually call before they show up. That should give me time to get home. “Come sit with me awhile before you go up to your bedroom baby.” Mom patted the couch next to her. Mom must have needed some cuddle time. She’s the short petite kind of woman, you know straight up tiny. I look just like an upsized version of her which is odd, her being older and all. Dad had a lot of height and width. He had been just a big ole teddy bear of a guy, but looked like he could have played football! Apparently, Mom’s look dominated my genes because I was petite too, but I got dad’s height. In fact, I’ve been taller than mom since I was twelve. I entered the living room and gave her the once over before I went to her. She had her dark hair up in a high off center ponytail that was draped over the back of the couch. Mom kept her hair longer than I liked mine, and being the size of a high school kid made her hair look even longer. She was wearing the bugs bunny footed sleeper that I’d bought her last Christmas causing me to smile at my cutie mom. “Here ya go Momma.” I told her giving her the hard plastic cup with a screw on lid and hard plastic straw, her living room cup. I had a sudden instinct to remind her to put it in the sink when she was done. I guess it was because of how she was dressed and the show she was watching, but I didn’t really need to. She’d probably clean it and put it back in the cabinet before she went to bed. God knows, it wouldn’t be dirty long! Her PJs didn’t have a hood with the ears or the poofy tail that the new ones did, but it did have the coloring and the rabbit feet. Mom had a new set of PJs wrapped up under the Christmas tree. I got her a Sylvester the cat set that came complete with tail, paw looking feet, and a hoodie topped with cat ears. She was going to love the two piece sleeper and I was really excited to see her open it! The PJ set wasn’t the most expensive gift I’d gotten her, but I was making sure she opened it first. She’d likely wear it the rest of the day. There was a good chance that would be her favorite gift. She was going to smile and squeal like a kid, which would make my heart swell. I nearly teared up thinking about her being so happy. We both worked hard to make sure we got those moments. Mom only dressed her age when she was at work. At home, all bets were off. She is still small enough to wear anything from tween to small adult things. It did, and still does, suit her sense of style. She keeps an immaculate house like a fifties house wife, but she’s just a kid at heart. Her bed had more stuffed animals than pillows on it! It wasn’t uncommon for mom to pass out on a teddy bear instead of a pillow. I had bought her a big fluffy stuffed rabbit the first Valentine’s Day after dad passed. I just wanted her to have something positive to hold onto that day. She’s been known to sit round the living room in her PJs holding it vegging out to whatever was on TV. That night she was snuggling one of the couch throw pillows sitting cross legged watching Adventure Time. Looking at her made me smile. I knew I wasn’t a real adult yet. I didn't’ feel like one either, but that wasn’t for lack of responsibility or trials. It was only a function of age and attitude. I envied mom sometimes. I wish I could relax as hardcore as she does. Work hard and play hard and all that. I sat with mom for a commercial-less DVR’d episode of Survivor. She never fought for the remote, but it was often on the satellite channel for Adult Swim whenever I took it over. She knew I wouldn’t sit there and watch those brainless cartoons with her, so she just handed over the remote when I sat down. She enjoys watching TV with me, but I’m pretty sure it has more to do with me than what we are watching. I’m positive she genuinely liked survivor though. When Jeff said “Next time on Survivor”, I headed upstairs to shower after kissing mom goodnight. Hurrah for skips! I always feel like a commercial assassin, my weapon of choice – the remote. I hate ads! I ran through the shower down stairs, packed my lunch for tomorrow, texted mom my work hours for the next couple of days, and headed up to my bedroom. It was as spotless as the rest of the house. Long ago, I had decided that the lack of privacy was worth mom keeping everything in order. I had nothing to hide from her anyway. I had a single drawer in my in-closet-dresser that is set aside as “private space”. She tells me she doesn’t go in that drawer, but I don’t keep much in there, just in case. Frankly, I just didn’t have anything I that would bother me if mom saw it. Between Cross Country and Track, homework, actual work, and the house finances, I just didn’t have time to clean. Forget about time to get into normal teenage trouble! I’m an old soul, or so I’ve been told. I would be graduating in a few months with four hundred other students, and I was currently ranked fourth in my class academically. I had become very Type-A. I didn’t have the best ACT score at thirty, but I was determined to get the most scholarship offers, so I applied for everything! I sat down at my desk and turned my attention to toward that goal. I started flipping through all the different college materials on my desk checking the due dates for entrance exams, ACT score submissions, finical aid info, and the like. Eventually, I sat back in my desk chair and puffed air through my bangs. I’d finally turned my hyper focused mind off about eleven pm, but it took a melatonin tablet to do it. I waited about ten minutes until I was good and under the influence. Then, I tried to work up the energy to get up and lay down on my bed, but the smell of my life going down in flames rolled into the room on a cloud of gray smoke from under my door. The Woes of Maddison Page Chapter 1 – My Hair Still Smells Like Smoke - Wednesday Morning - “Maddisonnnn.” Mandy Page whined through the bathroom door at her seventeen year old daughter. “We’ve got to go by Walmart for some panties, toothbrushes, and other stuff. Get off the pot and let’s go. Move it baby!” Mom whined at me. Her attempt at assertiveness failed miserably. She didn’t fool anyone. Even after everything we’d been through the last few days, her sad little attempt at parenting me made me smile. Tiger Mom she was not! “Momma.” I replied as respectfully as possible, which wasn’t as respectful as I’d normally have been. It was seriously hard not to laugh at her! “I don’t want to yell at you through the door, crack it alright?” I begged her tears forming in my eyes and a clearly quivering voice as my mood shifted dramatically. My back suddenly lanced pain through every nerve ending in my spine. My mood followed. “Listen baby, I know all of this is awful, but...” Mom said peeking into the bathroom inadvertently interrupting herself. Tears started streaming from my mother’s eyes when she saw me. It was an admittedly pitiful sight. “Oh My God, Baby my hair still smells like smoke! Oh Maddie, it’s all gone! Everything! All of Quentin’s pictures. Oh!” Mom dissolved into a pool of sorrow in the bathroom floor of our La Quinta Inn Suite. I was usually the strong one, but I was a straight up hot mess. I wanted to comfort her. She had mistaken my pain for sorrow, for trauma. I wanted to go to her, and hug her until all of our tears were spent. I couldn’t though. I was stuck on the damn toilet in desperate need of comforting myself. Mom’s breakdown took my painful tears down her emotional path with her. Then we were both bawling. Sometimes life finds fun new ways to kick you in the lady balls when you’re down. Not being able to help mom was a serious blow to my budding adult sized ego. I hurt everywhere and my lady balls had been kicked so much they were totally demolished! I needed to be the strong one like I’d always had been, but it just wasn’t happening that morning. I was only seventeen after all, but mom had been relying on me for a few years. Our dynamic had shifted after dad passed. I just sort of assumed his role at the house while mom healed. She’s just not built to be alone, or in charge for that matter. I thank God every day for the strength he gave me to support her back then, and I thank him for the purpose he granted me when I needed one. ‘Monkey Balls! I’ve even been keeping the checkbook and paying bills for almost three years now, I’m better than this! Get your shit together Girl!’ I gave myself an angry pep-talk. It’s not like mom wasn’t smart enough to pay our bills or balance the checkbook, but Daddy always handled those things for her. He worked and took care of the financial side of things. She had a debit card on the checking account and just brought Daddy the receipts. He kept her life simple because she likes it that way. He did it for her, so I had too. Dad had a budget and what not, so mom knew what was available for monthly toilet paper, groceries, and stuff, but she didn’t have any idea when we paid bills or how much we paid. She didn’t even know what bills had to be paid anymore. I did though, and I took care of them for years afterward too. I missed my Dad more and more with every passing day, and all of the sudden our memories of him were buried in a pile of ash where our home once stood. Every photo album, every framed picture, and even all the digital pictures that weren’t on Facebook were gone. I didn’t even make it out with my cell phone much less my laptop. It really crushed my heart. I was going to be right in the middle of this insurance claim, the city officials, and the financials on this house fire too. Just one more item in the overwhelming list of crap I had to keep up with. Worse, none of the officials would want to talk to me because I’m a year short on the year tally to be an “Adult”. There’d be a lot of relaying stuff through Mom. It’s not like I cared if she knew what was going on, but it was my job to keep things simple and easy for her. She is an awesome mother, but she seems to thrive when things around her are simple at home. No one can praise a child like my mother can. She related so well to me at every age and through every milestone. She was always right there in the floor with me. We colored. We watched cartoons. We played. We read. We did homework. We swam. We tickled. We had sleepovers and mom was always the star of the party. After Dad died though, I aged. I moved on into my teens and left mom in her footed PJs watching Cartoon Network happy to just be. I’d do anything for her. I’d protect her peace with everything I had! After all, a girl should keep her promises, especially those made over their father’s casket… I may have had the best childhood any kid could ever ask for, at least until dad. We weren’t loaded or anything, but mom’s demeanor almost forced the people around her into a happier simpler mood. She is a force of peaceful love. Her love is tangible, and I fought my teenaged hardest to make sure her light shined for everyone to see. Unfortunately, that laid a heavy burden on me, but it was a burden that I carried voluntarily. Worse though, it was my senior year in high school. I was totally booked up on time already. Paying the bills and watching the budget wasn’t as hard as you might think on my time, but it sure added a layer of worry to my life. Worry that none of my friends had to deal with, but I was ok with that it was my life. I chose to step in for Daddy, no one chose it for me. I wouldn’t let anyone take it from me either. My mind flooded with all the things that needed to be done. “Oh, Mommy!” I sobbed filled with crushing despair thick in the bathroom. “Oh, Baby!” She balled. I listed off all off the calls I needed to make to begin fixing this debacle. I cried to her about how I had to use the hotel phone to do it all, but I couldn’t stay in the office area of the suite long enough to finish a call before I was back in the bathroom. I couldn’t get anything done and it was adding to my sense of hopelessness. ‘Enough! Maddison get your crap together. You swore to Daddy that you’d protect her. You’re hurting her. Listen to her!’ I gave myself a hell of a motivational speech, but it fell on deaf internal ears. Mom came crawling over to me from where she’d collapsed to the floor, still in tears. I was sitting there with my shorts and panties down around my ankles stuck on the toilet like I had been for most of the past day and a half. She struggled up and hugged me fiercely despite my state of undress. We slowly got our shit back together. “Momma I’m so sorry about that. I guess I kinda lost it there.” I said gathering the strands of my resolve. “Oh Maddie,” my mom cooed with the weight of the world on her shoulders. “You are absolutely the best daughter any mother could hope for. You saved me when Daddy passed. You’ve been helping with everything sense then too. Don’t think I don’t know how much of your paycheck goes in my account.” I gave her a sad smile that told her that I knew I was caught. Mom worked in the back office for a medical billing company. They handled the collections for smaller firms like general practitioners or smaller surgical clinics that weren’t affiliated with a hospital system. Mom has a sweet voice and a tender disposition. She was perfect for first contact. She was horrible at the follow up collection calls. Sometimes I forget that she can put on office clothes and carry on like an adult at work. ‘Oops. Guess she’s not always Momma like she is at home.’ I thought. I had a nearly full time job with Tractor Supply Company, almost forty hours a week. Mom made decent money and could cover most of the bills. Dad’s retirement and his life insurance helped us even more, but I moved about half my check to the house account to cover my little car payment. I paid the insurance payments for both of our cars. Essentially, I paid for myself out of mom’s account, but I had thought she never really looked at it. I thought I was being clever, but in hindsight, I wouldn’t have left those duties to a thirteen year old either. She had let me “help” for almost four years, but I was certain, even back then, that she really didn’t check things that often. She wanted someone else to handle those things for her. So when I proved I could, she’d let me. We would never have had any money for new things or entertainment if I asked mom to cover my car, insurance, and other senior stuff. I bought my own clothes for the same reason. I thought I was being sneaky and leaving mom where she would be when I went off to college. That way it would be an easier transition for her, and I suppose that was still true. She just wasn’t quite as oblivious to it as I thought. ‘Guess I’m not as sneaky as I thought I was.’ I conceded. I could handle all the bills online. Mom had added me as an authorized decision maker on everything she could. Until I hit 18, our hands were tied in some places. She’d work, cook, clean, and not have to be burdened with anything else except an occasional “yes, I do” on the phone or a signature here and there. She relied on me handling those decisions for her. Daddy was doing his best to take care of us from beyond the grave, but mom would likely always have to work. It was probably for the best. Too much free time and that level of grief might have been the ruin of her. “It’s better for both of us this way. I have a sense of what income I’m going to need at state, and I don’t have any chores anyway. I’m kinda spoiled and this lets me contribute. Plus, you won’t have to adjust your budget when I leave for college. I can keep taking care of things from up there too.” I try to joke through my pesky tears. “Maddison, you don’t even have to clean your room! I do everything around the house honey. You are very spoiled.” Mom elbowed me. Then she threw on a very serious face. “I know things will change when you go off to State. I’m going to miss you so much. This is just the worst time for all this to happen! Maybe we should just get an apartment or something.” I hugged my mom and flushed the toilet. I was used to being the backbone of my little family. Being this angry and this scared just made me want to cry in frustration, but crying just pisses me off more. It was becoming a cycle feeding on itself and I needed to put a stop to it. I stood up and pulled my shorts and panties back up my slender hips. Then, I sat down next to her on the hotels bathtub wall. I gave my mom a powerful side hug, as much to bolster my courage as to reaffirm hers. “Pfft, you’ll probably see more of me in college than you do right now. If my scholarships come through, I’ll only have to work for my car, gas, and food. I’m going to try and pull enough hours to do that during the week and have the weekends at home for homework and Momma time.” “Really Maddie, you really are? Ewe, I hope you can. Oh, I’m going to miss you so much. I’ll do your laundry.” Mom sobs against my shoulder. “I promise to find a way to help you at school baby. I don’t want your next four years to be like the last few have been. As soon as the fire department makes their report, the home owners will kick in. It’ll get better Maddie, you just wait and see.” “I hope it’s soon. I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with school, college, the bills, and the fire stuff without a phone or a computer Momma.” I confessed to her as my shoulders slumped in defeat. Suddenly, I remembered the crispy computer held our budget, account information, and bank records. I immediately start listing things off building To-Do lists in my head. I had to rebuild all of that from memory, or at least enough of it to make a list of people to call. “How are your little legs honey?” Mom asked as she grabbed my bad leg and sat it in her lap to inspect it. Both of my legs were bruised and cut up pretty badly, but my right leg was at least sprained, possibly broken. I’d bailed out of my bedroom window after all! The smoke had come barreling under my door and I confess to shrieking like a blonde in a slasher movie before jumping for my life. - Back to Monday Night - I smelled the smoke as I saw it billowing out under my door. The scene stunned me for a moment, but I quickly got my wits together and tested the doorknob. Finding it hot, I raced over to my bed and battled the paint-stuck window. I finally jerked it open with a loud wooden thud. I moved back to my door and yelled “Fire” at the top of my lungs three or four times. I hoped that was enough to wake my mom. I was afraid she’d passed out on the couch watching TV and would never wake up again. That was a paralyzing thought. I snapped out of it, and I snagged my pillow with the Power Puff Girls pillow case on it. I chunked it out the window onto our hedges directly below my window. My bedroom was on the third floor, and it was a good distance to the ground from up there. The hedges around my side of our house were old, dense, and about six foot tall, not the best landing zone, but beggars and choosers and what not. I took a labored freighted breath, and slid out of my window. I tried to “fall” out onto my pillow, but only my left leg found it. My right leg fell straight into the hedge tearing it up and wrenching my leg in unnatural directions. I teetered off the top of the hedge and fell down to the ground butt-first in one long continuous action. I hit hard directly on my tailbone. I ended up on the ground with my right leg all bruised and torn up. My hedgerow idea sucked. ‘I guess it could have been worse. At least I didn’t just land on my feet and break a bunch of bones, but this feels almost as bad.’ I imagined. My left butt cheek was pretty banged up too. My lower back was bothering me fiercely from hitting the ground so hard. I felt blackness dancing at the edges of my sight. ‘I guess falling or flinging myself out of the window onto the hedge during my escape wasn’t the best idea. Gotta get my shit together and find out if mom got out. Just as soon as I can convince myself I can walk.’ My right wrist was throbbing from trying to catch myself both in the hedge and on the ground. I was torn up and bleeding everywhere but my left leg that the pillow had protected from the worst of it. It wasn’t a bad list of injuries for a major house fire and two story flight from a third story window! I finally managed to talk my battered body into getting up. I hobbled across the road to the Johnson’s house carrying my stupid pillow. I have no idea why I didn’t just leave it there on the lawn, but I didn’t. I had to get to our emergency location, and mom just had to be there. I clutched my stupid childish pillow tightly, because seriously, the entire neighborhood needed to see Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup! I guess comfort was more important to me than anything else right then, and that pillow had been with me for years. I rounded the corner of my house skirting the heat from the fire. I made it across the road and collapsed in the Johnson’s front yard. My leg wasn’t working right and Mom wasn’t where I wanted her to be, and I think I might have passed out in shock. The next thing I knew, a pair of strong arms was picking me up. I opened my eyes to see Mr. Johnson smiling down at me. “Oh thank God Maddison.” He hugged me close to him and screamed for my mom who was standing in front of our house trying to get to me. She got her only injuries from standing too close to the fire yelling for me to jump to safety. It was sort of stupidly heroic. “Oh My God Maddie, My Baby!” She bellowed running back to me across the road wearing her beat up Bugs Bunny jumper. “Hey Momma.” I grunted out around the pain and confusion. The four of us collapsed to the ground again in a huddle of hugs and reassurances. Sal and Jenny Johnson were our emergency contacts and location. The older neighbors had helped us a great deal since Dad. The four of us sat there on the lawn and watched the hungry fire devour our home while waiting on the professionals to arrive. I’ll always remember that night, but the thing that stood out the most was the fire was so hot I could feel it from across the road. The Woes of Maddison Page Chapter 2 – My Bipolar Bladder - Later that Monday Night - The fire department arrived within eight minutes of mom placing the call from the Johnson’s front yard. It hadn’t made much difference. The old place went right before our very eyes up like dried popsicle sticks. Smoke under my door to the four corner posts of the house falling into the basement only took twenty-eight minutes. Well that what I guessed based on the quick scan of my alarm clock on the way out of my window. When the posts fell I marked the time on mom’s watch just after she assaulted me in our neighbor’s front yard. Twenty-Eight minutes and everything we had been destroyed. Twenty-Eight minutes and our lives were forever changed. Twenty-Eight minutes between life before the fire and life after the fire. “Something in the kitchen went up first baby.” Mom babble to me still in her Bugs Bunny sleeper. She was terrified that I had been stuck and caught in the blaze and it was hard for her to believe I was going to be okay. “It was just so horrible. I couldn’t get to you! I was so scared! Nothing was on, and I was in the living room watching the TV. Then fire raced up the stairwell and I couldn’t get to the stairs. I couldn’t get to you!” She bellowed. “I can’t believe you’re ok. You are ok aren’t you? I was so scared Maddison. All I could think of was you were stuck up there in the fire. I thought I had lost you baby.” She whispered that last part to me and cried. It dawned on her that I likely had a problem getting down from the third floor. Mom frantically freed me from Mr. Johnson’s strong grasp and laid me out on the plush carpet of their manicured lawn. She started running her hands over me asking what hurt as she ran through her first aid training. I remember looking around laying there wondering if their sprinklers would come on while I lay on the grass. Shock does weird things to the mind. That, and mom looked kind of ridiculous checking me for wounds in those bunny footie pajamas. My right leg and arm were bleeding pretty badly. I was cut up all over the place, but my left hand was just scuffed up a little. Mom looked around and put my childlike pillow under my head. ‘I love this pillow and its childish pillow case. I’m kind of glad something from my old life survived. Plus, who likes sleeping on someone else’s pillow? This shall be my squishy!’ I declared mentally channeling my inner Dori. I decided that if mom was ok out there in her goofy PJs then I cherish my old pillow. “Honey, does your head hurt at all? Did you hit your head?” Mom asked me retaining bits and pieces of her emergency classes. “Mandy, the ambulance is here darlin.” The grandmotherly Mrs. Jenny addressed Mom. She had called them while mom was yelling at the fire to let me go. “Ma’am, please step back and speak to my partner Frank. I’ll check on your sister right there.” The EMT told her pointing to his partner. “That’s Maddison, she’s my daughter.” Mom supplied the EMT staggering meekly over to Frank. ‘That’s funny! PJs got ya Mom.’ I chuckled to myself. “Maddison, tell me what happened...” The EMT started, but I don’t really remember the last half of that sentence. I know I answered his questions, but the pain wiped away most of my memory. My next memory was from the ambulance for just a few moments. It was long enough to see mom sitting next to me and that I was strapped onto a gurney. She was talking to the EMT that had checked me out. I remember hearing mom was going to be fine. She’d only had some mild burns on her hands and forearms trying to get to me through the fire. I, on the other hand, needed a trip to the hospital for x-rays, stitches, and who knew what else. - Wednesday - Mom checked “my little legs” and we made our way back to our hotel bed. That whole window-flying hospital-staying experience was sitting at a nine out of ten on the suck-O-meter. In my short life only losing Dad had sucked worse, that had been a solid ten out of ten. I sat down heavily on the hotel bed trying to hold my leg up from the recoil, but my back wasn’t putting up with a slow descent. Mom put my bad right leg up on a stack of pillows to elevate it, cause Dr.’s orders, but my back was hurting no matter how I laid. I didn’t want to go to the store with mom. In fact, I really didn’t want to move at all. I hurt everywhere! It felt like how I imagined being in a car wreck would feel, and I was totally prepared to throw a fit about getting up again. ‘Maddie – 0, Gravity - 1 – Well done gravity! You have surely kicked my ass.’ I chuckled at my own stupid internal commentary. “Momma, I don’t want to go with you.” I whined. “ It’s freezing out there, and I can’t wear pants with this leg splint thing.” Then a tingle in my lady bits hit me again. “Plus, it seems I need to use the bathroom. Again! I shouldn’t have even left. ARGH!” I groused. ‘Why can’t the eff’n toilet be friggin cushioned or something? I need one of those gunshot-in-the-ass pillows from TV.’ I mumbled pushing up out of bed. ‘Of all the leftovers from my two story flight, my bipolar bladder had to be my least favorite.’ I thought. “Honey, you just went, literally moments ago. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” The concern flooded mom’s face while she waved her hands around. I couldn’t help it. I began to cry, “Dammit, I know momma, and it hurts so bad when I get up. Please help me back in there. I’ll just fucking sit on the toilet for the rest of my goddamn life. Maybe I can fold up some towels to sit on.” I lamented. I was filled with exhaustion and aggravation, and my poor attitude got the better of my vocabulary. I hardly ever cuss, out loud at least, but I was tired of… everything. I was exhausted. I threw myself a well-deserved pity party. I’d just have to feel bad about biting mom’s head off later, but being a God fearing young lady from the south, I knew I would be mortified at my own behavior later. How many seventeen year old girls do you know that work thirty plus hours a week, go to school, run cross country at a state level, maintain a 4.16 GPA? I was trying my damnedest to get into the best school I could afford for my bachelors. Now I had to do all that while trying to piece our life back together from the pieces the demon of a fire took from me. Not to mention all the responsibility I picked up after Dad passed, and now my bipolar bladder was forcing my injured back into service it wasn’t apparently prepared to give. I sighed and got up. As always, I was doing my best, and I was way too stubborn to give up. While I wallowed in my own pity, mom helped me up off the bed. I made it vertical with a weight lifters grunt, and I shuffled on to the bathroom by myself. I really needed that tiny bit of independence, but I just left the door open this time since I couldn’t talk to mom if I closed it anyway. I looked at my sickly pale complexion in the bathroom mirror while sitting on the toilet. I stared at it for a solid minute before deciding that the crew of The Walking Dead would have to put color on me to let me shamble on their set! Mom had seen my perky butt a million times, and we were bunked in this one bed suite with little to no privacy anyway. Modesty just didn’t matter to me anymore, at least where my mom was concerned. So, I just left the damn door wide open. ‘God I look horrible. I look like a disabled vampire with coffin head.’ My morbid sense of humor supplied. ‘I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.’ I mentally quoted one of my favorite books. I had my bad leg stretched out in front of me with my panties around that ankle. ‘I wish I could figure out how to prop it up on the tub and leave it there. This would be way more comfortable.’ I thought while playing around with it unsuccessfully. We’d only been in this suite for a couple days, but it was already wearing on me. I was hurting not wanting to move, but I was cagey and wanting to get out of there. Nothing was mine. Nothing was the same. I couldn’t get anything done without my stuff. I was already battling the senior everything-is-changing-stress, but this was just too much. ‘I have nothing. I mean technically our cars are just singed, but drivable. Bubbly paint doesn’t keep the car from going. The cars were a crispy silver lining I guess.’ I took a stab at cheering myself up. It didn’t work. “Mommy, I don’t know what’s going on inside me.” I broke down again feeling the overwhelming emotional weight of my situation. I needed my mommy, and like always she was right there ready and willing to bend reality for me just like I do for her. I cried into my hands in the bathroom of a hotel with all my dreams falling away in tears and ashes. Seriously, I was conjuring scenarios in my mind where I’d have to stay with mom in an apartment and take care of her for some reason, or a ton of different scenarios where college never happened. My overactive imagination was jumping down every horrible situation I could dream up. I was spiraling. It’s wasn’t one of my finest moments. “What do you mean honey.” Mom sounded petrified. She needed me sure, but right then she had no idea how to help me. “I just went to the bathroom. I mean, I barely peed at all, but I felt like I couldn’t hold it anymore as soon as I sat down. It was hurting to hold it while I walked in here. It felt like I was about to pee all over myself sitting there on the bed. Walking was even scarier. Even when I manage to go a little, the relief doesn’t last long before I’m back at the near pissing myself feeling.” I wailed. “Maddie you didn’t drink anything, and we were only in the other room maybe five minutes. You know there’s nothing in there right? Why don’t you try pushing a little, and I’ll help you lay down again? Then you won’t have to worry.” Mom coached while pointing at my traitorous bladder. “GAWD Momma! I know how to pee. I’m telling you something is wrong. My bladder isn’t full, but I’m tingling like I’m about to wet myself.” I huffed at her while crossing my arms. “Don’t take it out on me young lady! It’s only been a couple days since the fire. Maybe you hurt yourself worse than we thought? I don’t remember talking to the ER guys or the EMTs about bladder stuff. Did you talk to them?” Mom prompted. I dried my eyes with some toilet paper, “No Momma. I’m not even sure it was a thing then. Plus, the pain from the fall was keeping some of this other stuff away. I was hurting too bad to feel the tingle, but it’s all I feel now! And… I’m sorry for yelling.” I conceded hanging my head. Mom sighed and looked down. The look on her face told me her fear had elevated. “Baby, your panties are a little wet. Do you know when that happened?” She asked me still staring down at the condition of my underwear with a patient look of concern in her loving eyes. “They’re WHAT!” I sobbed anew. “It’s not much honey. Maybe you just went a little when you stood up. It looked like it hurt. Ha! that happens to me all the time. Peeing a little here and there happens to a lot of girls. I’ve had to wear a heavy pad since you were born.” Mom offered. It did hurt, but I had no idea that I’d “leaked.” The thought was simply terrifying. ‘OMG!’ “Have you ever held it so long that your control was literally bouncing. You’d flexed the muscles so long they would contract and relax, like a pulse you don’t have control over. That feeling of you have literally one moment longer before there’s a mess to clean up. When your bladder says a rowdy Fuck You and dumps its load without your consent?” I begged her to understand. Mom nodded. “That’s how I’m feeling all the time right now. It’s exhausting and it’s killing my already pissed off back.” I groused. In another fit of age-inappropriate mental fatigue, I dramatically kicked my underwear and shorts off of my bad leg with the good one. I needed the wet panties as far away from me as possible. Mom took some toilet paper and wiped the tears from my face, and started a bath. “I’ll go to Wally World by myself honey. You said your back was hurting, so you just take a nice long hot bath and enjoy all this never ending hotel hot water. Mommy will be right back baby.” She told me visually assessing me for further damage. She wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed like a terrific idea, soaking in the tub. I have always loved to soak in a deep hot bath. Our hot water heater was under too much demand and way too old to keep up with a deep water baths at home. Suddenly, I was excited that I could soak, then shave, and have enough hot water to shower off too. ‘I’ll finally feel human again, at least until I had to resume my porcelain vigilance.’ I sighed. ‘What the hell is going on with me?! Mom’s still got to make that Wal-Mart run, but at least she seems willing to make it on her own now. I’m just glad I don’t have to go and that she can get to her checking account. Fuck!’ I shouted internally. I’d forgotten that I couldn’t “submerge” my leg. Mom had grabbed her purse on the way out the front door of our former home. She still had her debit and credit cards. Thank the Lord! If she’d lost those too, we’d have no access to the meager funds we currently had available. As it was, I only had temporary checks on my account. Work had given me the week off paid. That was super nice of my boss, and the old jerk wasn’t known for his super niceness. Mom had taken the week off too. She wasn’t fortunate enough for bonus unpaid leave though. She had to burn the rest of her vacation and sick/personal days. She wouldn’t be off around Christmas now. That realization hit me hard. “Oh momma, all your Christmas presents were already under the tree, and I can’t take a bath cause of the stitches.” I cried yet again feeling the weight of our loss. My emotions were all over the place. I knew it, and still couldn’t stop it. That just pissed me off more. I was really excited to give her the Sylvester Jumper set. It was the pivotal part of her Christmas. Mom still had what was left of the Bugs footed sleeper, but I don’t think she would be sleeping in it anymore. It probably reminded her of the fire, and neither of us wanted that. My resolve hardened again. Mom would have the Sylvester jumper set for Christmas! With that goal I rediscovered my strength, if only temporarily.
  11. Repost/Edit - The Woes of Maddison Page - 6

    The Woes of Maddison Page Chapter 6 - I have no idea when I’m peeing or not. “So my baby might need surgery?” Mom gasped finally absorbing the whole situation. “Bottom line is. Something’s wrong with her lower back, and the next step is getting it looked at.” Dr. Chu shrugged. “You’re like a superhero M. leaps out of burning buildings in a single bound!” Merry goofed. “If only you were as durable.” She laughed at her own joke. I laughed too since it was pretty good. I giggled through the pain I was in, “Yeah, I’ll go by Scared-for-her-life-girl or Not-my-best-idea-woman.” “Maddison this is serious!” Mom gasped again. “I know Momma, and I will handle it seriously. Right now though, I could use a joke or two.” I told her. It’s not like I could correct her even if I felt like I needed to, which I didn’t. Our southern manors wouldn’t allow that kind of disrespect to our parents especially in public, unless you were a truly rebellious child. I was not a rebellious child, teen, or adult. So, there was not going to be any disrespect from me. Mom just nodded at me. I guess that was all she needed to confirm that I’d treat the situation with the gravity it deserved. I wonder if those release forms for surgery are as bad as Dr. Chu is saying. I wonder if I can trust mom enough to read them for me? I trust Dr. Chu enough to have surgery without double checking things, so I guess I’ll just go with my trust of him instead. “Momma can deal with the paperwork. I have to focus on getting better. I have too much to do to be out of commission.” I told the room and no one in particular. The doctor patted my leg once more and wished me well. Mom and Dr. Chu spent a few moments outside the door again. I could only assume it was to alleviate some of mom’s concerns since she was getting some mental traction on the situation. Fierce momma was on the way. I was about to be smothered. It was like Japan bombing Pearl Harbor, the fire had woken a sleeping giant. Merry came over to me and kissed me on the cheek. She stroked my face a bit while I breathed through some pain spasms. It was a really great moment. Her support meant the world to me. A few short minutes later, Mom and some EMTs walked through my door with a stretcher. “Guys, M is wearing some … uh … protective undergarments that need to be updated. Can you give us a second?” Merry asked. “Gracious, all that talk of surgery and my baby’s behind slipped my mind.” Mom commented shewing them out of my room. Mom took the leg brace the rest of the way off. Merry and mom helped me on to my stomach again. Mom ripped the other side of the pull-up and pulled it off like a diaper. I could feel the warmth and the squishiness of a garment pushed to full capacity. Sadly, I’d wet a lot. We struggled our way through the rest of the change wiggling the new pull-up up my legs. Merry hadn’t brought any wipes in because she’d never really messed with diaper changes. She’d never had to work. Mom wet a paper towel and handed it over. I tried the clean myself a bit up front while I had uninterrupted access, and mom did my shapely butt. They pulled up the diaper and my shorts calling for the EMTs to enter. The ride to the hospital was a horrible bit of torture, but they did right by me in the hospital room. It took a while to get admitted and move from Emergency to inpatient. It wasn’t looking likely that I’d see the inside of an MRI machine my first day, so they laid me flat of my back and stuck like six pillows under my legs. I looked like I was sitting on a pillow chair, just on my back. It was the first time I’d felt any relief since the bad pain had started. Merry hadn’t left my side, and to my surprise, my mom was the first one to set the nurses straight when they tried to restrict Merry from my room. She may check out at home when there’s peace and quiet, but by golly she was making sure I had my bestie with me for this mess. Go Momzilla! “Momma, I need to get up again.” I sighed. Neither Merry nor my mom said anything. They just made eye contact and got up to help me move to the bathroom. I’d gone through several more pull-ups by then, but since I was in a room finally and until someone forced it on me, I was going to do my damnedest to make it to the bathroom like the adult I was. I’m sure mom and Merry were tired of taking the leg brace on and off, but they helped me to the bathroom without complaint. “There we are baby.” Mom said easing my pull-up down so I wouldn’t have to bend down at the waist. Then they helped me sit down on the toilet. I was stuck in there for a smellier visit this time so I shooed my nervous helpers out of the bathroom. Did you know every muscle and tendon in your body is tied off at the base of your spine? I swear to all that’s holy, I couldn’t blink without feeling a pain back there. I had grossly underestimated the pain involved in the rotation and articulation that is required to clean myself up after a number two. Not to mention, the flexing involved in a number two to start with. Eventually, I finished the best that I could. It took an agonizing five minutes of cold sweat and bitten lip pain to clean myself up poorly. The exertion and the pain pills they’d given me were mixing well together. I was nap bound regardless of location or condition at that point. My number two had spent all the energy reserves I had and I was fading fast. I yawned hard and made a decision. “Momma, I’m about to pass out again.” I squeaked out. My girls made it in there in no time. Fortunately, I was mostly back under the influence of strong painkillers and sleepiness when they finished up my bathroom job and got me back to bed. I don’t recall much of the end of that bathroom visit and thank God for that! My nurse on call, Betty, was in the room when we emerged. She tutted at us through her teeth when she figured out I’d been to the bathroom. “I didn’t think she knew when that needed to happen? She’s not clear to be out of bed.” She remarked reviewing my chart. Betty and Mom must have had a long talk, because when I woke up later things had changed. Literally! I came too in the same position I remember passing out in, flat of my back with my legs propped up at a ninety degree angle. My legs had drifted apart some during my nap, so I was sitting guy style on my back with my legs a little spread-eagled. I didn’t think anything of it until I told mom that I was hot not realizing she wasn’t in the room. Merry slid the sheet off me to the foot of the bed. I caught the first glimpse of my new socks. They were cute purple fuzzy toe socks that came up just under my knee with pink claws stitched on them. “I’ve been to Wal-Mart.” Merry crowed triumphantly. “These are the cutest socks I’ve ever seen.” I told her wiggling my independent digits, digits that not only responded, but that I could feel. It may have been the weird position I was in, but it was helping. “Hey M, close and lock my door and where is momma?” I asked. “Your mom stepped out to get us something to eat. You get the hospital meal, but she thought you’d appreciate a wrap from sonic more since you have to eat on your back.” She giggled while closing the door. Once I heard the door shut, I slide my hospital gown up under my boobs. I had decided the pain medication I’m on made me have hot flashes, especially from the waist down. I really needed to cool down, or I felt like I’d get sick. As I moved the gown I heard the sound of fabric sliding across plastic. Something like a sleeping bag getting pulled across a tent floor. Everyone knows that sound. I was a little more comfortable temperature wise. I attempted to raise the tilt of my upper body a bit. I wasn’t looking for much, but I wanted to be able to see the door over my boobs. They weren’t huge or anything, but they were enough I couldn’t see anything while at that flat of my back angle. I had learned to move my body as little as possible and let the equipment do it for me, so when the bed started to increase my incline, I could hear plastic crinkling everywhere. I achieved my goal, and finally gained a small line of sight over my chest and the air left my lungs. “Shit M! I thought they’d put a plastic sheet under me or something. Why am I in a real diaper?” I jokingly pleaded with my best friend for clarity. “Damn, I was hoping your mom would get back before you woke up M.” Merry confessed. “There is too much. Let me sum up.” She misquoted The Princess Bride. “You were already wearing a diaper and your mom wasn’t a fan of the release forms for the catheter, at least until we know how long you’ll be here. So since you feel like you have to pee all the time anyway, and you were already wearing protection, your mom and the nurse decided this was the easiest on you. You don’t even have to take off the leg thing this way, and there is also a bed protector under you too!” She practically begged me with her eyes not to rip her head off. I still feel like I need to go pee. I feel sort of like I’m peeing right now, but I don’t feel any pee on me. Well, at least that hasn’t changed. I guess I’m just lying in my toilet instead of sitting on it. Why does the suck keep getting worse? God what did I do? I don’t know if it was the pain or the pain killers or the emotional trauma of being in the hospital facing potential surgery or that we were living in a hotel suite because our house burnt down, but I just didn’t have the energy to get mad. I found myself in a numb acceptance. What-the-fuck-ever! I just want to go back to sleep and forget all this shit. “Don’t worry I won’t slay the messenger.” I told her sighing heavily and patting her leg. “M, this is bound to be easier than getting up all the time or camping in the bathroom, but I’m about as happy with this situation as I am thinking about spinal surgery.” I admitted. “I’m going to study for my final since I have to take it in class tomorrow early. Why couldn’t you have been hospitalized tomorrow instead of today? Mom says I can spend the night here, but I have to go ace that exam tomorrow.” Merry began rambling. Somethings are like the tide. Reliable. One of them is my Merry. Teenage words flowed and my mind drifted. If there is anything I can count on right now, it’s Merry’s mouth. My girl loved to talk, still does for that matter. She rambled on for a good thirty minutes before mom made it back to our room. It’s really going to suck to have to be separated while I’m at state. I thought sadly realizing how found of her I’d grown I couldn’t believe how much I depended on her. “Hey Dee, it’s going to be ok. They’ll get you fixed up and you’ll be running again in no time!” Merry attempted to cheer me up. “Who’s Dee?” I ask. “Your mom and the nurses said it was confusing to hear us calling each other M. Made sense to me cause I think of myself as Merry internally, but whatever.” She shrugged “So I thought about it a bit and shrunk Maddie to the end of your name. So Dee. Should work fine.” “It’ll take some getting used to, but sure.” I attempted to shrug. I was tempted to run my hands over my diaper, or to squeeze my legs together to feel what I was wearing better. I had an urge to just play with it. I blamed the meds. I didn’t have a good sense of the diaper since I was out when it happened, but I knew flexing anything would end up in sharp knives digging into something somewhere so I backed off. I took a minute to review how I felt. My back still hurt, but it was more of a persistent dull throb than the blinding sharpness I was dealing with earlier. My right knee pit ached painfully again, and strangely I had random numb feeling spots on my right hip. “Hey M, is my right pinkie toe moving?” I asked her. “Doing a funny little dance Dee. Why?” She replied in a sing song voice. “I can’t feel it. Touch it.” I told her. “Nothing, I might feel the pressure. Squeeze it.” I was panicking a little “Ok squeeze em all.” I strained to feel her contact. “Phew, it’s still there. I can feel that sort of. It’s like my foot is asleep but only the way right side and the pinkie toe. Monkey Balls, that feels weird. Am I still moving it?” I begged her. “Yeah Dee, it’s still moving. Sorry if I’m over using the new nickname. I’m going to have to wear it out for a while to burn it in my mind over the M that’s next to your mental contact info.” She told me taping her head. I chuckled at the mental Contact App idea. Better bite the bullet and ask about my diaper. “Balls. M, will you look and see how my… er the diaper is holding up. I have felt like I was peeing since I woke back up. If I have been, it’s probably leaking.” I stuttered and sighed. Fucking WHY!!!!! I mentally bellowed. “Ok. Good news is I can see it. Bad news is you’re pretty wet. I guess this means you’re going without permission now huh? At least you’re getting the number two memos still right?” Merry lit up the bright side, and a damn fine bright side it was! I smiled at her Mom wandered in sometime right after I asked Merry about my diaper. In my mental dialogue, I had already started calling it my diaper. Ownership is my first step to acceptance. I have no idea when I’m peeing or not. I’m going to have to ignore the signals from my vag. It clearly doesn’t know what it’s doing anymore. I just wonder why my bladder seems to have checked itself out of the equation all together. Mom came over to the bed and put her bags of Sonic down. She put the drinks on my table and, without any warning or ceremony, reached over and rubbed my diapered crotch. I made my best “is that really necessary face”. OK, that’s new! I thought with my eyes going wide like silver dollars. Bah, another reason for mom to treat me like a kid. This mess just keeps getting better and better! “Merry dear? Press the nurse call button please my baby needs a change.” Mom said smiling at me. Oh Dear Merciful Lord! Shoot me now. I sighed. She busied herself on my table setting out the Sonic food and drinks for the three of us. A new nurse about my mom’s age came into my room. Her tag read Peggy. She had a great smile. I liked her right away. “I see our patient is awake. Smells like you were hungry Maddison.” Page said looking over my chart and taking in the room. “Maddie, if you please.” I told the smiley new adult in my life. “Maddie it is!” She beamed at me. I found myself grinning in this unlikely situation, and tugged my gown back down to cover the diaper. “Alright ladies, nurse time.” Peggy made direct eye contact with me and smiled. “Dr. Hadi is admitting Maddie until she can get her MRI and get it reviewed. He and Dr. Chu are worried about messing things up worse if you’re out running around willy nilly. So, we are a little afraid to send her home yet. Will you two run home and grab her some clothes and overnight things?” She asked mom and Merry. “Nurse Peggy, Dee is in here cause their house burnt down Monday night. Wonder Woman over there tried flying out of a third story window, but forgot her invisible jet. Instead, she dropped about twenty feet and crashed through a hedge on the way to an ungraceful ass-first landing.” Merry smiled through her ad libbed exposition of our situation. The beautiful relaxing smile left her face and tears puddled in the corners of her eyes. Peggy gently bent down and gave me the most delicate love filled hug a total stranger had ever given me. If compassion was a superpower Peggy would be a world class superhero. “Alright.” She said gathering herself. Go grab her some overnight stuff from wherever you’re staying. “Did you lose all your clothes honey?” Peggy asked me. “Yes ma’am.” I sniffled instantly loving this woman. “Mandy? Why don’t you and Merry take this and get Maddie a new night gown or a couple big tee-shirts?” Peggy told my mom handing her a twenty and a few ones. It was literally all the cash she had on her. “We can’t take this Peggy. The insurance company will work it all out. We’ll be ok.” Mom hedged almost in tears at this nurse’s generosity. “I have a few bucks on me too Mrs. P. Let’s run out for a bit and get Maddie something cool. She needs something to go with those socks!” Merry told me winking at me. I knew both Peggy and Merry were trying to get me some privacy to have my squishy situation addressed with some clinical dignity, but mom was a hard sale. I wanted her to get out of the hospital for a few minutes too, even though she just got back. I needed to put some distance between us before her motherliness turned green and she ripped through a nurse trying to change me! Reluctantly, mom left with Merry dragging her out the door a few minutes later. Moments after they left, I was in a fresh clean hospital diaper after Peggy breezed through the process with professional aplomb. The thing was a sickly green “hospital” color. She smiled and hummed to herself the entire time. Mercifully, she hummed something by the Backstreet Boys and not a nursery tune. God bless that woman! “Well, you’re handling this better than most would, and at your age to boot. You must be a very mature young lady.” Peggy beamed at me. “I feel like a “young” lady alright, but what am I to do? Getting up hurts, taking off this thing hurts, and you did that so fast I didn’t have time to dread it.” I answered. “I like to sneak up on people with needles too. The mind is a wonderful thing. If you can anticipate it and interrupt it before it has a chance to get going, you can save people a lot of emotional pain or anxiety.” Peggy told me sagely. “You have worked with kids haven’t you?” I asked her. Peggy went over to the Sonic spread and she handed me the smaller drink getting a bendy straw from some magic pocket in her scrubs. She grabs my chicken wrap and sets everything else back in the bag. “Here’s your early supper dear. I’ll put their stuff in our fridge for when they get back. Having loved ones close is nice, but you didn’t look like the emotional wreck type. I guessed you could use a few minutes alone. I have other nurse duties and that should give you some time to breath.” She winked walking out of my room. Peggy is what I envisioned myself like at mom’s age. Mom was the emotional one. She was a breath from hysterical tears that required physical comforting when the nurse sent her away. I would be the calm one using years of gathered experience to guide those around me. I could feel my future in Peggy, and really I could have done worse for a role model. I secretly hoped I’d get more opportunities to get to know her, even if I were only there for a short time. I had figured out the TV and eaten my wrap by the time mom and Merry got back. Bear Grylls had some celebrity out in the wilderness encouraging them while the rest of the world laughed. I loved that show. As Mom and Merry came in my room, I hit guide on the remote to check the time. They’d been gone almost an hour and a half. Peggy had been back by to check on me and changed me just a little bit ago. I was blessedly fresh when Merry smiled at me sitting carefully in the bed with me. She had a few bags with her that she sat past my mound of pillows out of my sight. Mom had a couple bags too. She sat hers down and looked around the room before she leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Maddie baby, how are you feeling?” Mom asked. I thought about it a moment before telling her. Mostly, I was “foggy” from the pain medicine coursing through me. I was cramped and tired of sit/laying in bed. I was friggin board and had no real outlet for the dozens of things I needed to be doing. Ultimately, I was tired, in pain, drowsy, and bored out of my mind. So I went with that. “I’m bored out of my mind, tired, drowsy, and still in pain.” I admitted. “You’re dry though, so that’s nice. I won’t let you get that bad again, like I did with that pull-up at the Dr.’s office.” Mom said. I think I may have detected some disappointment that I was dry.?!? “Peggy has been in a couple times. She just left like ten minutes before you got here. Uh… your drinks and stuff are at the nurse’s station. She stuck them in their fridge.” I reported. “OK Dee, that was super nice of her. I’ll go get our food Mrs. P.” Merry volunteered. Just like that, my hour of calm was blown up. I was alone with my mom in a hospital with messed up limbs facing surgery and sitting around in a partially exposed diaper. This was mom’s moment to drop some epic momma drama on me. I took in a silent breath bracing for the emotional storm that I was guessed was impending. “You know, I think Merry loves you.” She said throwing me a conversational atomic bomb from way out in the left-ist of fields. “Of course she does. I’ve known her for more than ten years! I love her too.” I hedged. I wasn’t sure what mom was getting at. “That’s not what I mean baby.” She told me kissing my forehead as Merry walked back in lighting up the room with her brightness. “You know she’s terrific. You’d have a hard time doing better than her dear.” Mom laid the wisdom down quietly. Oh FUCK! Mom meant loved me in a romantic way not platonic! My mouth hung open. I didn’t think I was gay. I knew I had liked guys, but I’d never really thought about thinking about girls that way. I was just super busy and had trouble keeping boyfriends because of it, or at least that’s what I had told myself. My relationships failed because I didn’t put out, and didn’t have much free time. Still, I resolved right then that, should Merry ever ask me out or tell me she had feelings for me, I wouldn’t dismiss it. I’d give her serious thought and maybe even try it before I decided I didn’t want any part of it. What a strange conversation. What the hell did the two of them talk about while they were gone? Where is my momma drama? I wondered.
  12. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Birch House Chapter 10 --- Ann --- I sat there at breakfast with my best friend with my mother sitting across from us. Becca had started her day diapered, of course, she’d changed after her morning shower. I’d changed into panties too. Mom, however, was diapered, damp, and uncovered while happily putting around Becca’s kitchen. Breakfast was laid out and looking amazing. My stomach grumbled as I filled my plate. I didn’t feel hungry, but my body declared that it was. I was moving around the kitchen on autopilot not enjoying the morning with Mom like I should. In the end, bacon, eggs, toast, and some hash browns decorated my plate. It looked better than a meal at Denny’s! But… I can’t even work up the energy to eat this beautiful meal. I want to eat, but I can’t. I want to turn my head off, but I can’t. I can’t get Becca out of my head! I picked up some bacon and pinched off a bite. I forced myself to shove it in my mouth even though I had zero appetite. I chewed my nibblet of bacon and wiped my greasy fingers on my napkin. Eventually, I folded my hands in my lap having trouble deciding where to put my hands or where to look. I ended up staring blankly at the table because I couldn’t pull my thoughts away from last night. OK, so… Orgasms from someone else are way better than doing it myself and... wet diapers make it a whole lot better too. I tried to be pragmatic. How could she not remember last night! How could it be so unimportant to her? What about Trent? What about us? How am I supposed to do this? Do… Do I really just pretend it didn’t happen? I spiraled totally failing to be pragmatic. “Dude, my head is killing me.” Becca whined. “Well, you know… a billion beers can cause that. A few glasses of wine are just fine.” Mom nodded poetically. “I usually do more water when I drink.” Becca said. “Best to not drink that much period.” Mom told her. “Nah, I like to get sloshed every now and then. Specially when I’m in a safe place with good company.” She smiled. I could feel her smile on me. I knew she was looking at me, and could clearly imagine the expression she had. It was an amazing face to look at too. I loved her soft upturned nose with its many perforations. She had her chocolate brown eyes framed by her platinum blond hair were fixed on my forehead. Her mind was working furiously to fix my mood, I could almost smell the smoke pouring out of her ears. “I’m fine.” I said to Becca’s table cloth not bringing my eyes up to see her face. “Sure you are.” Becca said. “Eat your food baby. You’ll feel better with a full stomach.” Mom chided. “Sure I will…” I mumbled. I pecked at my food while Mom and Becca chatted away as if nothing had changed, but for me, everything had changed. Becca flipped her hair and smiled at me never breaking conversation with my Mom. My heart skipped several beats and my milk went down the wrong pipe. I hacked and coughed until my lungs cleared and used it as an excuse to leave her beautiful face and go back to bed. It was Saturday afterall. There was no need to stay awake. Everything would be easier if I was asleep making my bed the best place for me to be. I lumbered back upstairs in a state of zombie like shock. I’d had a life altering event that only I remembered. I didn’t know how to deal with the attraction and the confusion. I’d never felt physically attracted to another human being before, male or female. I’d never reacted this way to anyone. I flopped on my bed and left my troubles behind passing out immediately with my feet still hanging off the bed sideways. --- Becca --- “What’s her deal this morning? Does Molly always pass out in the mornings?” Robin asked me. “Meh, she’s never been a morning person.” I shrugged. “Preaching to the choir sister!” Annie’s momma laughed. “I love her so much.” I blurted out like a sweaty teen with tape on her glasses. Where the hell did that come from? Way to go, shit monkey. Low profile remember? My ass was itching again and I felt like I really needed to get up and move. As I watched Ann’s retreating ass, I decided that I couldn’t stand the distance growing between us this morning. I scratched at the irritation on my butt and stood up. I was moving toward the stairs without really thinking about it when Robin called to me. “I’ll get these dishes dear. Let my baby know there is still bacon down here. Oh… and I hate to say it, but she probably needs diapered for her nap dear.” She smiled at me. “Yes Mom.” I told her rolling my eyes and smiling at her. I rounded the door into Ann’s room and smiled at her. She’d barely made it back to her bed before falling face first into her comforter and passing out. I felt a warmth in my heart seeing her like that, asleep... with no worries. I need to find a way to patch this shit before she pulls all the way away from me. I’ll figure out the Trent shit later. I grabbed a diaper from her dresser and put it on reasoning it would be an easier convo if I was already onboard. Her diapers were nothing to me, so it was no sweat to wear another one. Leaving my pants off, I sat down on the bed next to her in only my top and diaper. I tapped at her shoulder trying to wake her softly. “Babe. Wake up a bit.” I told her. “Becca?” She mumbled without moving. “Yeah. Your mom sent me up here to make sure you were diapered for your nap.” I told her rubbing her back. “Oh… I… Yeah, I guess that’s about right.” She mumbled. “Do you want some help?” I asked her out of nowhere. What the fuck woman? She don’t want your damn help! Back the fuck off, you’re going to ruin everything! “Uh I mean, I brought you a diaper. I’ll just leave it here for ya.” I told her. “Oh…OK… fine.” Ann mumbled. I stood up crinkling and threw a diaper at her hitting her in the ass. I left quickly the door clicking closed behind me as I left the room. I listened carefully at her door. I heard her sit up and drop her pants. Her diaper crinkled madly as she unfolded it and sat down. The four tabs complained loudly as she untaped them and reseated them against her hips. I listened to her slip between her blankets and settle back in to sleep. I smiled and walked back into her room. My diaper crinkled as I made my way over to her bed and crawled in the other side. I scooted up to next to Annie and spooned her back. “Shh Babe. Go back to sleep.” I soothed her when she startled. “What are you doing?” She mumbled. “Sleepin. You too. Go to sleep.” I told her stroking her hair. I scratched the spot on my ass again and drifted off to sleep lost in the rhythm of Annie’s breathing. My chest ached where my sensitive nips were smashed pleasurably into her back. I made a shitty big spoon because she was so much taller than me, but I was excited to have her fall asleep in my arms. A couple hours later, I woke up hearing Robin enter Annie’s room. She smelled dry at first whiff. I imagined she must have changed her diaper just before she came in. I felt the bed move as she sat down in front of Ann. “Molls, baby… wake up. It’s two. You sleepyheads are snoring the day away. Trent called Rebecca’s phone. He’s on his way home. He texted you Rebecca. I wasn’t snooping. I tried to catch the call and he texted while I was holding your phone.” Robin explained. “Thanks Mrs. Smith.” I mumbled sleepily. “That’s Robin Dear. We are all adults here despite appearances.” She laughed. “Doodlebug…” Robin shook Ann’s shoulder. “Ah, Fine Mom. Fine. I’m up… Geez! What happened to all being adults here?” She huffed. “You are so funny in the mornings.” Robin giggled. “Funny? I was thinking bitchy.” I laughed. “Cheese and Crackers! Leave me alone. It’s Saturday!” She complained. “I know baby, but I’m headed home. Your package arrived. You have some nice pretty pink diapers like Mommy.” She told her patting her butt. I yawned and stood up crinkling. I looked at Robin and met her eyes before wetting my diaper. She just smiled at me in a kind loving motherly way. Bah might as well use this thing. Bout to have to throw it away before muh man gets home. Trent. Oh shit! I have to talk to him. I can’t hide it. It’d be lying to him. We have vows. How can you hide it from Ann? I sassed myself. Because I haven’t promised her anything. If Trent doesn’t flip out and I don’t throw myself at her again, it’ll have been a weird alcohol induced one time sort of thing. Flimsy bitch… really flimsy. I remained unconvinced. I sighed and ran to Ann’s shower while her mom finished getting her up. It’d take her a few minutes anyway. --- Ann --- I rolled over and looked at Mom. She was smiling so kindly at me, and I hated it. I didn’t deserve it. I was a horrible, marriage-wrecking seductress! Stop looking at me like I’m good! I screamed in my head. I was glad I wasn’t awake when the diapers got there either. I was even more excited that I wouldn’t have to unpack that box. I had one more afternoon to ignore my problems. I sighed and rolled the rest of the way over onto my back. “Are you wet Molls?” Mom asked me. Fiddlesticks! I forgot Becca had me put one on. I could really like her snuggled next to me though. That felt amazing. “No idea. Let me check.” I said leaning forward probing the diaper. “Yeah a little. Maybe just a tiny leak. Good advice on the diaper Mom, thanks. I should probably get up and go to the bathroom though.” I told her trying not to sound sullen. “That’s what Moms are for, baby. Thank you for calling me. Thank you for needing me.” She told me wrapping me in a tight hug a sniffle in her voice. “Oh Mommy!” I cried leaning up and hugging her tightly. “Now, enough of that. No more tears. You’re a strong lady. Diapers do not make you a child. Your actions do. Now don’t be a child… unless you want to be. Daddy called me. He wants me back if your going to be ok. Apparently, I’m missed or some such nonsense about him starving to death.” Mom said laughing. “I’m glad you came. Sorry Daddy and I are so needy.” I told her. “Oh Baby. That’s every Mommy’s dream. I just love it when you need me. Daddy too.” She smiled. “I better get a skirt on before Trent gets home. Get a shower and you can see me off. I’ll finish packing up.” Mom scuttled out of the room and I stood up taking off my diaper. I sat down on the toilet and waited on Becca to finish her shower. --- Becca --- “Mom’s leaving.” Ann said offhandedly from the shitter. “Yeah I figured. She was dry when she came in the bedroom.” I told her while washing my hair. “You know that how?” She asked me curiously. “She smelled like wipes and baby oil not pee.” I told her shrugging even though she couldn’t see me. “You smelled her. Do you smell me?” Ann asked. “I smell everything lately, babe. I hear a lot too, but I think I need to get my eyes checked.” I inventoried. “That’s weird ya know. I keep worrying about you having a brain tumor or something.” She told me shocking the shit out of me. “I hadn’t thought of that. Fuck! Guess I need to get this shit checked out.” I promised myself as much as her. “Can I go with you? I’m going to worry if I don’t. You sort of suck at telling the full story.” Ann’s voice was soft and barely carried over the water noise. “Yeah Babe. Trent will probably have to work anyway.” I told her. “Save me some hot water.” Ann told me smacking the shower curtain into my ass and sticking it to me. “Sorry!” She squealed. We swapped putting Ann in the shower and me on the pot drying off. We didn’t talk much while Ann was in the shower. I left the bathroom to grab my clothes and had a brief moment to regret that Ann wouldn’t be wearing a diaper after her shower. I really liked taking care of her. I yelled at Ann before heading downstairs. Robin was already down there with both of her bags packed by the door. She was sitting on the couch, lost in her tablet and occasionally grabbing her phone to look at something else. Robin may work from home, but she earned her money. She was practically working all the time. “Hey Robin. You gonna be dry enough to make it home?” I asked. She lifted her skirt and poked at her diaper, “Yeah, this’ll hold me a while. I’ll get a small coffee. Should be fine.” “Well, good. You’ll text when you make it, right?” I asked her. “Yes mom...” She saluted dramatically without looking up. “When are you leaving?” I asked. “Soon as I get a moment with Trent and Molly gets out of the shower. I need a kiss goodbye.” She smiled. “How bout a hug?” I asked her. She was, after all, the mother that I never had during my foster years. The one constant in that time of my life. I squeezed the tiny powerhouse of a woman tightly. She smelled so much like Ann, but different at the same time. The base scents were different, but the biological one was so similar. Wonder if families smell similar? I enjoyed a long hug and promised her that I’d keep up with Ann and told her I was going to the doctor next week to check out my head. Trent came in and snatched Robin up in a huge hug. I was so glad to see him my ass was practically wiggling. “Babe I missed you so bad. I got way drunk last night.” I laughed. “Does your head hurt babe?” He asked me. “Yeah, I’m about to pound some water and put something on my stomach.” I told him. “Trent dear we have something we need to tell you before Molly comes downstairs.” Robin inserted. Oh Shit! What does she know!!!??? I could feel my face heat up and my mind spinning rapidly out of control. “Uh…” I started. “Listen, dear. Molly has been having trouble again. She’s back to her childhood at night. Be sensitive to it dear, and do your best to just ignore anything on that line.” She told him in a take-no-shit tone of voice. “Yes ma’am.” He answered immediately. “That’s good dear. Will you help me out to the car with my bags? Molly will be down in a bit and then I’ll be on my way home. Daddy misses me.” She giggled turning a cute shade of red. They disappeared outside and I heard Ann walking down the outside steps a few minutes later. I churned my hands standing in the foyer waiting on Trent. I was petrified waiting on him, but my soul was demanding that I come clean with my husband. “Uh babe. Can we talk? In our room? I don’t think Ann will come down for a while, but I want to make sure. I’ve got some shit to talk to you about.” I told him staring at his knees. “Do we need to go now? Can I eat first?” He asked me. --- Trent --- “No babe. I really need to talk to you now, can we?” Becca asked me. “I guess.” I told her disappointed. I was a bit surprised at how draining a two day load was. I was exhausted from the two runs and trying to sleep in the truck. I’m not a huge guy, but I was big enough that I was uncomfortable in the cabin bed. I was tired, hungry, and maybe a little cranky. “Great… I have to tell you something, but it’s going to be hard to hear.” She told me. If she leaves me, there’s no way I can afford this house. I’ll have to rent out one of the bedrooms. Life’s shitty. I guess there’s no good time to tell someone you’re out. God I hate this shit. Maybe I was just too comfortable. I continued to spiral on the way to the bedroom. I followed her watching her hips sway and her body move. God, I’m going to miss fucking my little sex kitten. “So…” she backpedaled sitting on the edge of our bed. “Well, just spit it out. I’m starting to freak out and I don’t want to get mad… yet.” I told her honestly. “I don’t know how to say this. Fuck it doesn’t even have a fucking label.” She said her head in her hands. “It’s… I… Well, Ann and I were in diapers and” She started but I cut her off. “Why the hell were you wearing a diaper?” I asked her. “Not the main point dude, but cause Ann was freaking out and Robin thought she’d accept it better if she wore hers and I just wanted to help.” She explained. “Wait, Robin wears diapers too? Is Ann’s problem genetic?” I asked diagnosing her in my mind. “Oh Mrs. Smith has worn diapers since I have known her. I assumed it was medical, but Ann’s is medical. She’s a giant and didn’t get the giant sized bladder to go with the package.” I told him. “I never got around to asking. It wasn’t my business. Then she was out of it when we dated, so I never really thought about it.” I admitted. “The doctors were surprised when she finally gained control.” She told me. “Oh really? They didn’t expect her to get it back.” I asked. “She hadn’t ever really ever had it babe. They told her it was surprising she’d gained control at all and that it was likely she’d lose it eventually.” Becca elaborated. “She wore all the time? Till when?” I asked. “Yes, 14, still not the point.” She whined exasperated. “Eh… sorry. What were you going to tell me. I love you. Remember that.” I told her. “Well, I was super drunk while we watched Frozen and then some Netflix… I… Uh… wet the diaper a few times. Fucking cool way to drink if you can get over the head thing.” She shrugged. “I’ll keep that in mind. Seems pretty gross though.” I told her, but she just shrugged again. “Anyway, I sort of accidentally got off on Ann’s thigh.” She told me. I cut her off, “So you cheated on me… With Ann?” I said aloud not really asking. She took her time explaining the play by play on how she “sort of, in a way” had sex with Ann. I was floored. To be honest, I was also super turned on. The thought of the two women I love most in my life making out and getting each other off was going to be a great mental video to direct and replay… exhaustively. But, I was still fuming mad. “Say something!” She whined and whimpered. “I can’t…” I stuttered.
  13. Repost/Edit - The Woes of Maddison Page - 6

    The Woes of Maddison Page Chapter 5 - Mrs. P, you just ran a stop sign! I sprayed on some natural powder deodorant (it’s really baby powder scented, but most women don’t go for that, hence the branding). I rummaged around through the laundry on the floor by the hotel dresser sweaty and clammy. I found a mostly un-wrinkled shirt. It was a graphic tee proclaiming something ironic, but I didn’t look at what it actually said. I brushed my hair back and put it in a high ponytail securing it with a hair tie about the time that Merry and Mom came in. My back had settled down to a dull roar, having backed off from feeling like a blinding fire. Dull pain was better than knives through the spine though! I remember feeling like I was peeing myself again, but I told my bladder to go “Eff” itself. I decided to deal with that later. Just the thought of being able to deal with it later was liberating. It seemed like it had been forever since I had a vote in the matter. Mom made eye contact with me as she twirled around and shut the door. I gave her a slight nod of my head indicating that I was a big girl and had made a choice. Mom seemed to note the pain in my face and let it all go at that, but Merry wasn’t born with any discretion and hadn’t learned it yet. “Awe come on girl, which diaper did you choose?” Merry begged with the tact of a clueless teenager. “Merry Selvage! That’s for Maddison to tell, not for us to ask.” Mom chastised her. Merry didn’t seem the slightest bit phased by mom’s correction though. Nope not my Merry. She looked right at me wiggling her eyebrows asking with her look instead of words. It was her sort of “out with it” look. “It’s ok momma. I went with the GoodNite. It fit better, but I don’t like how loud they are.” I confessed staring daggers in the carpet and flexing my good hand at my side while digging my toes in the carpet. “Now there’s my big girl. Acting like an adult in this situation and choosing the protection she needs. You’ve shown incredible maturity taking care of your problem instead of denying it honey. Pretending there isn’t a problem won’t solve anything.” Mom praised me using one of dad’s old lines. I miss daddy. Wearing a diaper is the mature action, does that sound as weird on the outside as it did in my head? I struggled with the juxtaposition of my situation. “I may know all that, but it doesn’t feel that way. I feel like a little kid.” I sighed heavily. I grunted hard and got up by myself. It hurt pretty badly, but I needed an adult win so I took it. It seemed like my back was just getting more and more tender. I wasn’t improving at all. “Pfft, no one will hear anything with those shorts. That material is like wearing a wind suite anyway. Letmesee.” Merry blurted wiggling her hands for me to hurry up. She’s probably right about that. They don’t sound that different. It’s not like I’ll have a normal gate with this thing on my leg anyway. Bright Side Goggles Engaged! I thought forcing myself to find a silver lining and a smile at Merry’s antics. Mom helped me put my donated pink coat on as Merry led the way out of our suite. I didn’t have a purse or anything else to take anymore. I felt naked. Well, naked but diapered. The few things I currently owned were literally on my back. I took a moment to absorb that and continued to the door. I own more pull-ups than I do panties. Now there’s another weird ass thought. Merry was positively bubbly waiting on me at the door. I swear it was like she was four and just got a new puppy! I rounded the door frame and saw why. “Do it Merry! Your mom said you wouldn’t, but I told her you were cool enough to ride the luggage cart downstairs. It’s perfect. It’s hilarious, and kind of necessary. We’ll never make it to the doctor’s on time if you don’t hurry anyway.” She said bouncing on her feet. I can’t even check the time without my phone. Who wears a watch anymore? I thought reaching for the missing device in my waistband. I held the door open while mom and Merry sat everything off the cart from Wal-Mart into the closet nook. I hobbled up onto the cart and sat back against the rail where mom was pushing basically sitting on her hands. Merry walked along the front of the unwieldy thing guiding the cart. The three of us giggled and waved all the way to the car. I never gave my new underwear the time of day. Riding the cart really was fun, just like Merry promised it would be. When I went to get down out of the cart and mom tugged my coat down in the back. I guess she did it to cover up my pull-up which was peeking over the waistline of my shorts. Oops! I’ll have to watch that. My normal tendency would be to stop and over analyze the situation I found myself in, but Merry literally sat me down in the front seat of mom’s car. I relied on her heavily to sit down with my jacked up back and leg in the splint thing. It seemed that my body was more worried about my back though. It spasmed with pain as soon as I go sat down, and I cinched up fiercely. “Ahhhh, Oh My God My Back.” I cried screaming out in pain and reflexively sat forward trying to stretch my back out. Bad Idea! “Honey, are you ok?” Mom begged me through the open driver’s door. “No momma.” I panted. “My back hurts so bad! It’s like I have a cramp in my foot but, it’s my waistline back there.” I cried out again. “Ahhhhh! Oh, Owie, Owie” Tears and sobs flowed freely. The pain was more than I’d ever dealt with before. “Merry hop out and lay her seat all the way back. Hurry now.” Mom told her calmly. Merry hopped out of the seat behind me faster than I would have thought possible. She rocketed around her door and yanked mine open. I was still clinched forward in a ball of pain so I wasn’t in her way at all. She grabbed the seat lever and pushed it all the way back eliminating her previous seat. Mom and Merry both grabbed a shoulder and helped me lay back down against the seat. Lying on my back was even worse, and I thought nothing could have topped the pain I was already in. I was fucking wrong! I rolled over to my side finding it slightly less painful. It still took my back a few minutes to release the pain and let me breathe again. We really needed to get moving or we were going to be late to my doctor’s appointment. Who knows how long we’d have to sit there if we missed the scheduled time. I lay on my side with the seat belt sort of fastened in case of emergency. If I moved much at all my back would flare up again. So I stayed very very still. Merry sat behind my mom since I was laying in her spot too. She lay over the top of my seat rubbing my back. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that hurt too. *Sniff* “Momma?” “Yes honey?” She asks with tears in her eyes. “Something’s wrong. It won’t stop hurting.” I cried. “Dr. Chu will see you in a big hurry when I bring you in in pain. He’ll let us know if we need to go to the hospital or not baby. Just hold on. Try to drink and eat if you can.” She tells me concentrating on the road. “Mrs. P, you just ran a stop sign!” Merry cried out. “Hush now Merry. You’ll worry Maddie.” Mom chides in an uncharacteristically harsh tone. I just focused on sipping the orange Hi-C from McDonald's and nibbled on a nugget or two. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t think of much else. My stomach was queasy too, so I wasn’t about to each much. But, the cold drink felt good. So, I drank the entire thing. Every pothole, bump in the road, or uneven pavement that we crossed caused my spine to stab me with a serrated kitchen knife. By the time we made it to the medical clinic my general practitioner practiced at, the pains were shooting down my bad right leg behind my knee. I was so inward focused, I didn’t notice how quickly we arrived at the Dr.’s Office. Funny how that works. The cure for an overactive mind is pain. Lots of blinding white-hot stabbed-in-the-face pain. Frankly, I’d rather be stressed out than in this much pain, but a moment free of our situation was welcome too. Just not worth the price. I couldn’t figure out if having my knee curled might help or not, and I couldn’t test bending it closer to me because of the walking cast. There was no getting comfortable. There was no getting away from the pain. Things were hurting that I didn’t even know had any ability too. My knee pit, is that a thing, felt like someone was holding boiling hot ice to my skin. It was a burning pain with a cold numbness underneath. The teasing numbness was only skin deep though. Apparently, my pain nerves were deeper. I gave up any pretense of managing my shit. I was full on sobbing and wailing. It was a dry sob thanks to the emotional cries I’d had earlier, so it sounded ridiculous. What an awful day! “Ahhhh!” I cried out in pain when the car rocked coming to a stop. “Merry, quick now out and around. Let her pull against you. I’ll push from here. When I come around and take her from you, run in and tell the nurse that Maddie is now an emergency!” Mom huffs out putting the car in park and dropping the keys in her purse. Merry was around the car with my door open before I could even begin to roll over. I was dreading it like a root canal. I didn’t want to lie flat of my back for any reason. Even the thought terrified me. I held out my good hand to Merry. I’d need the leverage to move with my core and not bend. Too bad there wasn’t enough room to sort of plank in a ball out of the car. And then life kicked me in the lady balls again, my shorts pulled down in the back exposing my pull-up to Mom and anyone on that side of the car, but she didn’t seem to notice. I was aware, but my concern was with the pain in my back not my underwear. Underdiaper, embarrassing assed padding? Whatever! Mom pushed and I pulled on Merry. Between the three of us, I was finally upright. I still had a shooting pain in my back and my bad right leg, but the brace was helping now that I was upright. The pain was still there, but it wasn’t as intense for me. Standing up vertically and leaning forward a bit on mom changed the pressure points. “Phew.” I exhale puffing my hair out of my face. “Can you walk honey?” Mom asks with tears in her voice. “My knee pit hurts. I think I need someone under both arms.” I told her willing to try. Merry was with me acting as a crutch, and so was Mom. It was a good thing she’s a short little thing. We slowly and painfully walked into the waiting room of the clinic. Every step felt like I was grinding my bones against sandpaper inside the joints. A nurse grabbed my mom to talk over what was going on, while another nurse wheeled out a chair. My nurse and Merry slowly lowered me into the seat, and they elevated my right leg. There wasn’t really any position that didn’t hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. So, I just whimpered. The second nurse’s name tag read Paige. Nurse Paige and Merry wheeled me to a waiting room. Immediately after they got me on an exam table, Dr. Chu and my mom walked in together. Dr. Chu was calm and in control while my mom reflected the opposite of both those qualities. “Alright Maddie, you definitely got the worst end of this. Tell me what’s going on.” He prompts first looking mom over and then looking over my chart. Mom started in with the fall from the third story window and my landing on my very, at the time, non padded tush. Then she proceeded with the full tale of my bathroom business. I had to chime in from time to time, but she did a great job of retelling the story. “Maddison, I have you down with no broken bones or surgeries right?” Dr. Chu asks “No.” I squeak out, and mom replied at the same time. The exam table was padded but I just couldn’t lay flat of my back. The pain came back and it was intense. I had to get my legs up or sit up, I didn’t know which. Merry, bless her, she noticed how I was struggling. “Hey, Doc. I need to sit her up. Her back is killin’er.” Merry tells the room wringing her hands nervously. They helped me sit up, and Dr. Chu moved the table and locked it. I was mostly sitting up. He asked me a series of questions about my pain. When it was at its worst, could I do anything to change it, had I done anything new to any of those areas? Then he asked me to lie down on the table. With tears streaming down my face, they laid me back down on the exam table only on my stomach, which was mildly better than flat of my back. It hurt, but not like it hurt when I lay on my back like I had in the car. I shoved both of my hands under my hips to elevate my butt. He touched my back asking about pain and then tugged my pull-up and shorts down past the top of my butt crack. He probed the area with his fingers remarking about how visibly puffy the base of my spine was. The bruising on my butt was just barely visible to me as I craned my neck to see what he was doing. I had landed harder that I thought I had rolling out of the bush. “This could have been worse young lady.” He told me patting my leg below the diaper and shorts. “You could have broken your back! I know you are in pain here, but if you’d fallen out of the window and then landed straight on you bottom you may not be sitting here right now, or at the least may have severely injured your spinal cord likely ending in some level of paralysis. If you’d have jumped and landed straight on your feet you would have broken legs, hips, and feet. This could have been facing a ton of surgeries and recovery time. I’m not telling you that you aren’t in some trouble here though, I am worried about a compression event in your lower back.” He looked over at mom. I heard everything he said, but I was having a damned hard time accepting that this was a “good” level of pain. “Dr. Chu, This is hurting really bad. Can I roll to my side? Holy Shit! Momma, take off my shoe! Do it now!” I trumpeted with as much authority as I could muster. Mom never batted an eye she simply took off my shoe, “Baby, it’s off.” “Merry I can’t feel the outside of my right leg or from my middle toe out. I’m trying to wiggle them are they moving?” I asked frantically with visions of paralyses running through my mind. “Little Ms. Page, I assure you. You’re toes are still there and wiggling, but I need to check a few things.” He told me. Merry took my hands and sat on the exam table in front of me. Dr. Chu turned and went to the door hollering for his nurse. They had a quick conversation in the hall. Merry stepped up and straightened out my pull-up and shorts. Thank god for her. Mom came over and patted the bottom side of my butt right over my diaper to avoid any painful areas on my back. “Merry can you run out to the car and get another pull-up for Maddie?” Mom asked my best friend. “I’m wet? I don’t know when that happened.” I whispered in shame probing the squishy garment with my hand while Merry affectionately rubbed my calf. There’s no point in protesting. I don’t want to wet myself. Hell, this is the only pair of shorts I have. I’ll be damned if this doesn’t add a terrible layer of “suck” to this whole situation though. I sniffled to myself. It was as if I was watching a train wreck on TV. It was horrible, and I couldn’t look away. I was sort of detached from the whole situation. It was like it was happening to someone else. If it weren’t for the horrible pain, I would have sworn I was having a nightmare. “Don’t worry dude. We got this.” Merry told me smacking me on my diaper on her way out of the room. Dr. Chu came back in the exam room while adjusting his glasses. He made a few notes on his tablet. Then he sat down and swiveled over to face mom while digging around in a drawer for a sealed steel instrument. “There’s an ambulance on the way to get Maddison. They aren’t running the sirens or anything, but your car isn’t the best transport for her right now. We don’t want to make this worse. I just pulled your chart from the hospital. You have a few burns, but you got out before the fire got bad right?” He asked mom. “That’s right. The stairs to the upstairs to Maddie’s room, were right next to the kitchen. Something in there went up and I had no choice but to leave out the front door without my baby.” Mom broke into a sob. “It’s ok dear.” Dr. Chu told her patting her shoulder. “No one thinks you did anything less than everything you could to reach her.” He reassured her. Merry came back in while mom was getting herself together. She squatted down next to mom to hold her. I tossed a thumbs up to Merry when she looked over at me. I was thankful she was there to comfort her. Mom can be fragile. “I didn’t get burnt until I got to our neighbor’s house and Maddie wasn’t there. I tried to get back in the front of the house, but the heat was burning me from out in the yard. I couldn’t get in. I couldn’t get to my baby.” Mom sobbed. “I love you momma!” I shouted to her. “I love you too baby.” She sniffled. “So Doctor Chu, why do I need to change my er… underwear?” I asked while we waited on the ambulance, after we’d calmed down. He wheeled back over to the exam table and started unlatching my leg brace. He laid it open without totally removing it. Then he started poking my foot asking where I could feel the poke. When he crossed the median of my right foot, he had to tell me where he was poking. Then he’d ask me to move a toe or something. This went on all the way up my leg. The numbness was only in the toes and the outside of my foot. It went sporadically up the outside of my right leg and all the way up to my butt. He broke the side of the pull up so he could test my butt cheek. I had some regional numbness on it too. “On your wetting, in short, you’ve had a really bad fall. Your sphincters or bladder could be sore, bruised, or even damaged. You clearly have some spine trauma, but I don’t know the extent of it. Frankly, I wouldn’t guess too much since that’s not my specialty. They wanted to wait on an MRI of your lower back in the ER because the swelling was too bad and you weren’t in this kind of pain. With the escalation in pain I think we have to proceed regardless.” He took a deep breath. “Maddie, I’m concerned. This is only my opinion, but I think you may have some disc or vertebrae damage to your lower back. Depending on what’s happened in there, you may have some nerve damage. Your enuresis could be a symptom, or related to something else altogether. Honestly, there are too many variables right now. We need to work on identifying what’s causing the pain first. We’ll worry about the enuresis later.” He finished and paused to let us ask questions. “So it’s happening. We don’t know why yet. We don’t know how bad it will get or how long it will last. I guess the best thing we can do right now is the pull-ups?” I asked him. “I’ll have to turn you over to the neurosurgeon at the hospital for treatment on the spine issue. I can take a good educated guess, but diagnosis and treatment will be with Dr. Hadi. If they keep you at the hospital the protocol is – One, if you can stand the pain and it doesn’t add risk to your situation, assistance to the bathroom. Or two, they keep you in the hospital until surgery and post op for recovery and they will likely give you a catheter.” “Unfortunately, since you have already had to take an action at home, your options for inpatient are likely more of the same or the catheter. Both have their drawbacks, but both options are fairly normal, and either is fine with me. Personally, I’d rather the option you chose. They use them all the time and they are perfectly safe, but my wife had a bad episode with a catheter.” He smiled. “Oh, Dr. Chu! I have so many questions, but I don’t even know where to start.” My mom complained. “Well, I’ll start for you. First, is the MRI. Next is Dr. Hadi reviewing the results. Then, he’ll give you some treatment options. I’d guess it will be physical therapy and medication for pain, bed rest if it’s just a herniated disc. But if it’s a rupture, it depends on where the rupture is. Since a disc is circular it can rupture in any of 360°. Worst case is immediate surgery because of a large herniation or ruptured disc putting pressure on her spinal cord. These are also the most risky to work on due to the proximity to the spinal cord. Still they do it all the time!” He smiled at me and then mom. “Let your mom read the paperwork. Dr. Hadi is a very good surgeon. I trust him completely, but the paperwork can be a bit of a scary read. Let your mom read and sign that stuff and take advantage of your youth for a bit longer.” He said patting me on the leg. “Back surgery is almost an outpatient thing these days, but that paperwork can give you nightmares for the rest of your life!” He chuckled. Nobody outside the house, except for Merry, knows about how our house functions. I’m the kid and the rest of the world assumes I’m the kid all the time. I wonder how they’d feel if they knew Mom was the kid some of the time? I really didn’t want her burdened with all of this and me. Not that momma’s really a kid or anything, she’s more like a detached mother living in the emotional past back when I was little and she could be little too. It’s a strange relationship I admit. I worry about her mental health sometimes, but she always seemed so happy. She’s fiercely capable when she has to be, but when she doesn’t she really doesn’t try. We may both need to see someone after all this. I decided. “That’s a lot to take in Doc.” Merry contributed.
  14. Forever Little

    Very fun! Will there be more? I'd like there to be...lol
  15. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Birch House Chapter 9 --- Ann --- Oh my Lord for sure! She just… She’s… against me… on my… we just almost… I nearly… GREASY CHEESEBURGERS! I’m horny! I’ve never… not for a real person. I’m not… Am I? My body was flush with Becca Phillips… that's my best friend Becca Phillips… my MARRIED best friend Becca Phillips. My body, moving on its own, extended our arms out even further to our sides. My reach was considerably longer than hers, so this move drug her up my thigh drawing her even closer to me. What the Holy Taters am I doing!?! Becca shuttered as I drew her closer sliding her up my leg. We probably weighed about the same, but I’m nearly a foot taller than she is. I didn’t have the strength to pull her, she’d have had to have ridden me willingly. I have never in all my life felt physically attracted to anyone, but I’m getting more and more turned on. What’s going on?!? It’s the booze! She must be totally drunk. I took a deep breath and started shaking. I could feel my kitty moisten. I could feel the tightness and the warmth a response no other human being had caused before. It came from attraction. I was so confused. I wanted this. I wanted her. But, I wouldn’t break up her marriage or use her like that, especially not while she was drunk. I wanted it to be right, but it was all wrong. I fought a war. I fought a war inside my myself. I fought a war that everyone on this planet fights. It’s just that they fight them when they are younger and have smarter people keeping an eye on them. The only person here to keep an eye on me was grinding against me losing herself in pleasure that I was helping create. I have to stop this. I have to stop her. I have to stop. I… Stop… I… Neither of us did though. I didn’t stop pulling on Becca. She didn’t stop grinding my thigh either. She released my hands and slid her fingers down my arms back toward my body. She reached around me putting her hands around my upper back and pressing her knee into my crotch. My kitty exploded. --- Becca --- Sunlight flickered on the other side of my closed eyelids. I smiled as it warmed my face. This was my favorite time of day. I loved the mornings. A fresh new day with a bunch of fresh new problems looking for solutions. I yawned and stretched. I flexed my toes and arched my neck. Blood flowed in revitalizing me. Some problems take longer than a day to solve... I flexed my legs and noticed that I couldn’t bring my knees together and my pussy was sort of tingling. Oh yeah. The diaper. God this thing is fucking soaked! Smells stale too. Uh...ewe! God, it’s fucking itchy or something... I flexed my legs feeling the gel filled squishy material rub against my irritated skin. It didn’t gross me out like it probably should have, but the smell was stronger after a night of body heat. I could smell Ann too. She smelled much stronger than the last time. She’d wet last night. Poor thing. God I feel amazing today. Well, except my junk Damn! Shit itches… er something. I reached down and rubbed the front of my diaper. I had no intention of wearing these all the time, but damn they made drinking even more awesome! I didn’t drink enough water last night and my head was pounding in a dull throb. Still, I felt amazing minus the itching. Last night fucking rocked. So much fun. I needed that so bad. All work and no play and all. If I drink diapered again, definitely going to need a moisture barrier. Ah, I feel great and tingly in all the right places! That was the best orgasm I’ve had in forever! That’s when it hit me. ANNIE! I’d fucked… Slept with… something’d Ann. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! BAG OF DICKS! ASS SUCKING FUCK FACE! I FUCKING… WITH ANN. OH Trent. Oh Trent. What have I almost… sort of kinda done? I laid there and rationalizing the shit out of my situation tugging and pulling at the front of my diaper. I hadn’t actually slept with her. We’d sort of fooled around, but I’d done more than that drunk at parties. No clothes had come off. I hadn’t even got to first base. I just sort of ran straight to third and brushed it on my way by. It was almost by accident. It was almost innocent. Almost. I’m gay now? I like chicks? Am I that mad at Trent? Is this because of him? Was this about Trent, me, or Ann? I rolled over and noticed I was still in Ann’s room. Well, not just in her room, I was in her bed. I was under her covers. She’s amazing. The world doesn’t know what it’s missing. I paused processing my feelings. I do though. I know. I’d know if I lost it too. I’m not sure I’m strong enough for that. Chicken shit it is… I forced some conviction into my decision and got up to waddle to the bathroom. I smiled at the memory of Ann and her soft ribs in my hands when we both got off, then I stuffed that memory away. I shelved it and fenced it off with mental police tape. DO NOT CROSS it read in my mind. I tore off my diaper and rolled it up to throw away like I’d watched Ann do a million times before. That was something I could smile about. I shot it like a basketball smiling when it went in. I jumped in Ann’s shower intent on getting cleaned and hoping the cleanliness would take care of the itching on my junk. My puss and nipples have always been a couple shades darker than the rest of me, but I got stuck in the shower for the longest time staring at my tits. I didn’t have anything handy to compare against, but I was stopped short of washing myself when I saw them. Are my nipples darker? I touched them. Not only a little bit darker, but more sensitive? What the hell? I started to move on. I was satisfied and while my nipples were randy the rest of me just wanted to move on with my day of ignoring last night happened. Well, after I washed myself so i didn’t get fucking diaper rash. Can it be diaper rash? How the fuck do I get rid of diaper rash? Shit Trent’s going to laugh his balls off. I reached down and began cleaning my pussy. I washed thoroughly making sure to keep soap external. Yeast infection on top of diaper rash would suck ass! I chuckled to myself. Again, I noted that my pussy seemed more sensitive today. It was just enough that I couldn’t be sure or too alarmed, just like the color change on my nipples. I touched up my shaving by touch with Ann’s razor and rinsed off. My junk was already feeling better with that stale pee off my skin. I put a leg up on the sidewall of the tub and leaned forward to check my shaving job and about lost my shit. I dropped the razor and had to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming! Holy Fuck! Nipples are definitely darker… but what the hell? Did those fucking diapers do this? God why won’t my ass stop itching? Must have been bit by a spider. All the rationalization in the world didn’t do my any good when I twisted around to look at my ass. I’m a flexible chick. I rotated further than it felt like I should have been able too and checked out my spider bite. It looked like a big ass pimple! The tiny lump was all red and swollen with a white head poking out the top of the little dome. It looked like any zit I ever had only big enough to be one of those sick ass internet videos where someone pops a fucking cyst or something. I reached around and pushed and pull and tried to pop the zit-spider-rocky mountain fever tick-bite. Nothing I did ruptured the infection bubble. I took a deep breath. I’ll have to have Trent lance it. Fucking sore now that I messed with it so much… Fuck! I took some much needed deep breaths and decided my nipples and pussy were just fine. I didn’t feel all itchy anymore and my eyes just hadn’t focused in from all the booze. I hadn’t been seeing as clear lately anyway. All showered and in a clean top and some shorts of Ann’s, I approached her bed. It’s time to see how good an actor I am. I thought switching gears. “Dude, I’m the one with the hangover. Wake up and pamper me.” I whined flopping onto the bed my hand landing on her stomach. “Oh flipping flapjacks what in the world.” She huffed angrily. Even her cussing is cute as hell. “Hottie with massive headache here!” I whined in my best pathetic voice and even added a few puppy whimpers for good measure. “LA! LA! LA!” She wailed. “GRAH!” I growled. “I thought I told you not to wake me up woman!” She complained thumping against my arms. “You did, but it’s noon and your Mom’s still here and… O.M.G.!” I raised my head scenting the air. “BACON! Oh fuck my head.” My outburst hurt my head and causing me to roll over and cover my ears. Ann perked right up, “I love Bacon.” “Your Mom knows you do.” I added wisely. Ann took a breath, I’m assuming she was trying to catch wind of the bacon. She shook her head, so I guess she couldn’t smell it yet. I chuckled at her and promised her the bacon was real. She laughed too and stood up. Her diaper dangled around her hips as gravity pulled it toward the floor. “Wow, guess I need these huh. How was yours?” She asked. “Well, I was soaked before I went to bed. Pretty sure I didn’t pee it again. I threw it in your trashcan. Bathroom’s starting to smell though. I was a little itchy, but feels like the shower cleared it up.” I laughed shamelessly rubbing my junk to make sure that was still the case. Still more sensitive. That could be fun later… She sighed heavily, “I guess I have to get something for the smell. Dang it.” Ann took a step and the diaper started to fall off. She grabbed it at the crotch and tugged up while tugging up the back too. She looked funny causing a laugh from both of us until her body language changed. Her shoulders squared up, she leaned forward, she pushed harder with her hand into her crotch, her toes drew in toward her feet, her hair fell forward covering her face as her back arched. Her breath caught and her shoulders shook. It was clear she’d gotten off from the contact. Guess I’m not the only one who found that entertaining. Bet I’m not the only one with a super sensitive vag either! Ok, time to sell the lie of omission. “Fucking Shit girl, did you just bust a nut in that diaper right here in front of me?” I laughed lightly. I didn’t want to push too hard, but I had to react normally. “I… it… I remember last night. Did we…?” She fumbled. “Did we what? Your mom left. I was still drinking. We watched some more Netflix. I drank some more then I woke up in your bed in a stale and drooping diaper just like you. Cept I didn’t, you know, jill off in front of you. I just did it in the shower. Hey is it cool I borrowed some clothes?” I redirected. “I remember… uh never mind. It was late. Maybe I was just thinking of the show.” She said zombie like trailing off toward the bathroom not even recognizing she’d just whacked off in front of me. Thank God! Man, I fucking hate lying to her. I hope she can handle it. I’ll have to keep an eye on her. I’ll let her off the hook if it looks like it’s too much for her to hold in. I decided it was better this way. We didn’t technically do anything, just almost sorta did. I didn’t need her worrying about me and Trent. I was positive I’d take care of that in spades. How the hell was I to know alcohol and diapers were such an aphrodisiac? --- Ann --- She doesn’t remember, but I can’t forget. I stumbled through my shower, and fumbled through throwing on some clothes. Thankfully Becca had already gone downstairs oblivious to the importance last night. Last night was everything to me. “Morning Doodlebug.” Mom said cheerily as I entered Becca’s kitchen. “Hey Mommy.” I told her meekly. “You didn’t drink last night did you?” She asked. “No…” I said alert to her growing suspicions. Geez. Mom doesn’t miss anything. “Well, I’m sure some breakfast will help sort you out.” She smiled. “Probably.” I stuttered as Becca come in the room rubbing her head. “Hey.” Becca said to the room addressing both of us. “There’s my other girl. Breakfast is ready!” Mom chimed. “OMG! Bacon!” She screamed jumping up and down sniffing the room. Is she wagging her butt? So cute!
  16. Repost/Edit - The Woes of Maddison Page - 6

    The Woes of Maddison Page Chapter 4 - Horny Bitch I wanted to be an engineer, though I was torn between software/computers and structural engineering. I was great at math, but not so much with English or the fine arts. Those domains are driving by different parts of the brain. I loved computers, but I didn’t have the time or money to really play with them the way I wanted. I adored the feeling of working through known and unknown solutions to get the end result I was looking for. It’s like an exciting puzzle. They felt terrific when they’re solved. I also liked the idea of building things in software and designing custom physical solutions to business needs. It all seemed like the same basic set of skills applied in two different specialized job markets to me. I intended to sample both in college before I made my decision. The Maths required for both tracts were similar so I wouldn’t lose the credit hours I would be earning. I’d never faced a problem like my bladder stuff or my back pain. This pee thing wasn’t a problem I could use deductive reasoning on. Or could I? Ok, so this started at the hospital after the fire. Check. I don’t really go, I just feel like I need to. Check. Oh damn it, I mostly don’t really go. My wrist hurts, but that should be irrelevant. My leg is killing me, but that can’t be it either. I don’t piss from my knees! My back hurts worse than anything else. The rest is trivial by comparison. Did I land on something? My lady bits feel fine. I don’t remember any pain in or around my kitty. The small of my back hurts really badly. I’ve never really had pain there before. They told me I took a hard hit to my ass not my back? I wonder if all this is physical or mental. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have a phone. I’d be all up in Web-MD self-diagnosing the shit out of my situation. God I hope I didn’t do something awful to my back. It takes a long ass time to get over back injuries doesn’t it? They’d said I was too swollen to do an MRI and the x-ray didn’t come back with anything, broken wrist or arms. My leg and lower back were too messed up to get a clear image. They said it was mostly bruises, cuts, and muscle tears. The ER doctor told me the muscle tears in my leg were worse than actually breaking it though. So maybe that wasn’t lucky. Sigh. MRIs are so expensive! I wonder how much of all of this the insurance will pay? Will our health insurance work with the home owners? I need to go with mom to the next meeting. I hate not knowing what’s going on. I’ll just have to sit on a fucking towel or something, but I’m going damn it! I don’t mind her being involved, but I only trust myself to ask all of the right questions and remember the answers. I continued to ponder the money side of things forcing my mind to let my bladder problems go for a while, literally and figuratively. I stood in the hot shower thinking over all of the mess we were in not caring if I actually peed or not. It was a relief to ignore the signals for a time. Would we rebuild? Can you not rebuild, is that an option? Would we take the money and sell the land? Would we just rent an apartment? Would they let us rent an adjoining suite in this hotel, or at least one with two beds? I wondered if Mom would mom let me stay in my own room? I hate her knowing every time I go to the bathroom. She’s going to smother me. That last thought really freaked me out. I really need a vacation, but I just have one semester of high school left. I could have handled that before… before the fire. I wonder if mom would let me drink? HaHa I think a glass of wine would be just the thing right now. I heard someone knocking at the door, so I ended my shower earlier than I wanted. Faced with dirty panties or freshly rinsed panties, I opted to go commando and just wear a pair of running shorts that my best friend Merry had lent me. I was out of the two pair the church had brought over. Merry and I were in cross country together. I had gotten my times down on my 5k from 20:32 to 19:48 or so, I could have another potential source of college money in an athletic scholarship. I’d be running everyday whether it was competitive or not, so why not run for college money? I wonder how long I’ll be out with this injury. Would I ever run again? Is my leg that messed up? I reigned in my fluttering thoughts that had nothing to do with clothes, and tossed on an oversized tee. I didn’t worry about my mostly unnecessary bra. I went to check the time on my phone, but quickly realized I didn’t have one anymore. I peeked through the peephole in the door. Speak of the devil, there’s my bitch now! I was so used to pulling my phone from the band in my shorts, that I kind of freaked myself out for a moment when I couldn’t find it… again. Fucking fire! It’s like a missing limb… argh! I let Merry in and she hugged the life out of me. My body announced another potty break, so I invited her in the bathroom with me. She’d have come anyway, we had no secrets. Merry jumped up on the bathroom counter and spun around to inspect her face. I guess she was giving me some privacy which was a little unusual, but definitely welcome. My bestie was very much a visual girl. I was pretty sure she was straight, but she loved to see almost anyone nude. She was a very sexual person. ‘Horney bitch…’ I murmured internally shaking my head. “Listen M, you need to get out of here. Your mom called me. She said that you were having a hard time, and asked if I’d come over. Of course I was like, ‘that’s no skin off my teeth’. Anything to get out of classes, right? It’s not like we were doing anything important today. AP Lit and AP Gov have closed the books on the semester and we are helping them grade other classes as a “review”. Mr. Fountain sent a packet over for that Comp final. I told him you didn’t even have a book or computer, so he loaned you one of his classroom books.” Believe it or not, she just continued to talk. Merry, so named by her hippy parents, carried most of our conversations. I always had too much on my mind, but it’s not like she’d have let me talk anyway! Merry knew everything I was going through, but most of it held no meaning for her. She didn’t have to work like I did. Her grades were good enough for AP placement and for the local community college which she intended to attend. While Merry was babbling through what I had missed at school that day, I finished using the bathroom. Sadly, nothing had happened on the toilet. I decided to just put my shorts back on. I grabbed my lightly damp shower towel and my still dripping wet panties. I didn’t hide the fact that I was putting on her shorts without any panties, or that my panties were soaking wet. Merry was too busy talking to notice anyway. “Sigh…” I emoted audibly. I’d have to tell her myself instead of letting her ask like I’d hoped. I was exhausted and Merry’s voice was so soothing that I had nearly passed out sitting on the toilet. I was fading fast so I decided to get up and head to the couch. Almost on impulse, my subconscious remembered my towel as we headed to the living area in our hotel suite. I folded up the barely damp towel and sat down on it. I swiveled back to the couch and lay out on my pillow. I hadn’t put my splint-cast-things back on yet, so I was more mobile than normal. “Damn that hurt my back. I keep forgetting. Hey M, will you grab my splints?” I begged my friend in a whiny voice. “Yeah, I got this. Want me to put them back on for you?” “I’d love you forever if you did!” I teased her with a kissy face. Merry jumped off the coffee table where she had perched and made the short trip to the bathroom. She grabbed the baby powder smelling spray deodorant from the counter and hit my splints with it. I was scared they’d start smelling like a cast if I wasn’t careful. She came back in and strapped me back into the protective gear. I bet she was a cat in a past life, the way she likes to sit up high wadded up into a person ball. All slinking around like a sexy thing. I mused merrily watching her move around. “Dude, you’re totally flashing your gash. Not that I mind.” She giggled. “Perv.” Was all I had to say about that. “Meh, I own it!” She blew me off with a shrug. “Yeah there’s no question. Jury is still out on your lesbian card though. Your membership come in the mail yet?” I teased. “Nope I likes me penises, but those things look horrible. Now, lady bits are fun to look at.” She carried on staring intently. “Well, look all ya want cause I’m done. I’m exhausted and if I fall asleep right now I may not have to go to the friggin bathroom again.” I confessed. “Friggin?” Merry looked puzzled. “Momma asked me not to cuss, so I’m working on it. We are going to be living too closely to abuse our manors. We don’t want to be at each other’s throats in under three days.” I parroted mom. Awe Damn It! Now it makes sense. I hate that. I friggin hate that. *Bladder/Kitty Twinge* “Shit! help me up.” I begged. “HA HA, that didn’t last long.” She barbed back at me. “Yeah, you’d be on a four letter word basis with the bathroom too, if you were me.” I defended. “What’s going on Maddison?” She begged me with concern flooding her eyes bringing out my full name. There will be no distracting her now. My full name meant business. I sat down on the toilet yet again, and explained to her what was going on. It took a while to tell her the whole story exhausting me even further. I hadn’t really shared all of this with anyone, even mom. She’d picked up on some of it, but I told Merry everything while I sat there without any fruit for my labors. Apparently everything was quite a bit of information. It took a good deal longer than a normal bathroom visit should take to tell her the whole story. I could see the sympathy in her eyes. Her heart was going out to me. I was thrilled to gain her sympathy and to have her as a confidant, but I really didn’t want to be thinking about my pissing habits anymore. I felt so worn out. I needed to sleep, but I just couldn’t get there. Especially not after that “tiny” accident I had in my panties. I worried about that almost constantly. Had it been a small accident? Had I just leaked bit, or had I only wet a little bit because that’s all there was in me? What if it had been a full go, but I just didn’t have anything stocked up? That thought was utterly terrifying. Hell, the thought of not being able to control your bladder should be horrifying to just about anyone. Merry was full of compassion. She was ready to fix the world on my behalf. I could see the steam wheels in her head churning out ideas. Bet she’ll have everyone pissing their pants with me if she can’t fix me… HaHa Sorry about that the rest of the world! “Let’s get you laid down for a nap M. You need the rest. I’ll lay down with you cause I could use a nap too. It’s still freaking early!” She cooed at me like a babysitter to a charge. I didn’t catch the tone she was using. I was just too tired. Merry loved me, and I trusted her so I didn’t even register it. I’d lost my old Blossom doll in the fire, and was therefore without a cuddle buddy anyway. Merry pulled cushions off the back of the couch and helped me lay down. I moved my towel toward the back of the couch and wiggled back to the back side of the tiny couch facing outward. Jan grabbed a pillow off the actual bed and a sheet from the bottom drawer of the dresser. Then she lay down next to me and covered us both up. We slept like this all the time. We’d been cuddle buddies since we started school at five. I thought nothing of it. She didn’t speak. She just lay there with me as the little spoon like always. Apparently, I really needed that sense of normalcy she brought. It took all of three seconds before I passed out. Merry didn’t last long either. Told you she was a cat! I knew she was out because she snores, and I remember hearing that just before letting go myself. In what felt like only moments later, I heard the door. I tried to roll over but it was impossible until Merry moved. I craned my neck the best I could and waved at mom with my good hand. “Hey girls. I see you’re up Maddison. Merry honey get up Maddie is stuck.” Mom said rustling Merry to consciousness. “Hey, Mrs. P.” Merry slurred. I saw my best friend wipe a prodigious amount of drool from her face. She looked down at the couch and swiped at it too. Merry swung around and sat on the coffee table and helped me sit up. Mom looked at me confused, “Honey why aren’t you wearing panties? Did you put your shorts on while you were wet?” “Merry, will you fill momma in? I need to use the bathroom.” It was true, I did need to go, or felt like I did anyway. Really, it was also a cop out. I didn’t want to talk to mom about it. I was mortified. I’m usually taking care of things for Mom, not Mom taking care of me. She’s going to smother me over this. I’m doomed! I don’t really get “done” going to the bathroom anymore, but I’d been sitting there long enough to grow grass when momma and Merry came in. It was a big bathroom and Merry perched on the sink again. She reached out her hand asking for mine. I took her hand and waited on mom to start in on me. Jeez, my back is killing me. I thought trying to rotate and ease up the pressure while I waited on mom to speak. “Baby I didn’t know that all this potty stuff was this bad. I called Dr. Chu, and made an appointment. He can see you in about an hour. Merry said you were in the shower when she got here right?” “Yeah, I’m all cleaned up, but my back is going nuts.” I told her. “Well, let’s get you changed and we’ll head out.” Mom said. “Merry are you coming with us?” I asked her. “I can if you want me too.” She hedged. “Let’s get you ready while Merry checks with her mother. I, for one, would love her company.” Mom said. She’s talking to me like a kid. Something feels off here. “Honey, I know this bathroom stuff is really stressing you out. I got quite a bit of stuff at the store that Merry and I are going to unload. I want you to scrub up your private parts while we unload the car. Merry honey do you mind helping me unload.” “I’d be happy to. Did you say you brought some of the stuff in already?” She asked mom. “Yup, Maddison I have a few things for you in a Walmart bag. I’ll bring it right in.” With that they both left. I couldn’t hear much from the main room, but it wasn’t long before mom returned and dropped off the bag. She kissed me on the head and I could hear them both leave the room after she closed the bathroom door. We were at the end of the hall on the third floor. It’d be a few minutes before they got back up here. I opened the bag and there was a package of generic baby wipes, a package of Depend Fit-Flex underwear for women, and a package of GoodNite’s Bedtime Underwear for Girls up to 125lbs. The first item in the bag was a note from mom. I overlooked it initially, in utter disbelief at the contents of the bag. Maddison, I grabbed these so you could have some confidence. I want you telling your bladder when you have to go not the other way around. I knew that this would be sensitive for you so we are going to run to McDonald’s across the road for some meal deals while you get dressed. You will get no judgement from Merry or I, so don’t worry about it. We won’t be gone very long so hurry and be ready when we get back. We’ll eat on the way to the Dr.’s office. Love Mommy and Merry. ” Mom signed the note. Merry signed the note with a smiley face. I bet that’s why Merry didn’t want to commit to going to the Dr.’s with us. She wasn’t sure I’d want her around. I bet momma felt even more certain after Merry told her about my towel idea for the couch that she’d done the right thing. I looked down at my shorts. They were wet, even if only a little bit. Guess it’s a good thing I slept on that towel. This just isn’t fair. God you took my home, and now I have to deal with this too?! I managed another good cry. Then I grabbed the wipes and cleaned up my smooth “lady bits” and stared at the two packages. It was a dilemma, one that I didn’t feel like I should have to solve. I should just be able to put on some panties from my underwear drawer and move on. I shouldn’t have to decide to use kids or adult pull-ups in a fucking hotel bathroom! I wasn’t seeing anyone right then, and I damn sure wasn’t putting out without a serious commitment that I didn’t trust high school boys to give. So most of my panties still had had childish designs, and since I haven’t grown much since I was fourteen most of those designs were pretty juvenile. In fact, my favorite pair of underwear was my pink lace trimmed Blossom underwear. Well, they were my favorites. Dad and I both loved to watch the PowderPuff Girls together. Maybe that’s why I held on to them so hard. Much of my childhood fell away in the months after he died, but I held fast to Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Somehow it felt like a betrayal not to. The hearts and swirls on the GoodNite called out to the child in me, but the growing adult in me wanted to throw the middle finger at the world. Self-pity aside, I knew that fit determined effectiveness, so I simply tried them both on. Which wasn’t as easy as you’d think because I had to take off the splint to get them on. The depend fit but it came up to my belly button. The small/medium felt humungous on me when I moved around in it. The sound was there. It sounded like a diaper, and it was louder than I’d expected. Clothes could probably hide that. I slipped the Depend down my narrow hips, and slipped the GoodNite up. Even with my tiny hips, it was a bit of a struggle to get the thing in place. I tugged and pulled at the protective garment until everything was where it belonged. I ran my finger around the edges between my legs getting the final fit just right. Then I moved around. The final fit was amazing. Sure, I could tell I had a GoodNite on, but it was snug and flexible. It didn’t feel like it would gap anywhere. I sat down and stood up. I bent over and looked at my ass in the mirror fighting the pain. If I pulled my damp running shorts up tightly you could see the lines, but I bet it was just as bad with the Depend, maybe worse since it was a bit bigger. Plus, the Depend had arranged the protection in what looked like a big pad stuck to a panty all in one garment. That panty line would be more obvious than the GoodNite. I didn’t want to wet my pants so I had to choose one. The GoodNite was the best fit for my physically. The only problem was the GoodNite made a considerably larger amount of “diaper” noise. So fit and protection came with the downside of noise and sacrifice of discretion. What a terrible choice for a seventeen year old girl to have to make. My life sucks! Fucking fire. Damn Dad dying on me. Stupid school. Fucking fine!!! I hobbled back into the suite looking for some shorts. Just then I realized I had wet Merry’s loaner running shorts, the only ones I currently had. I hobbled back into the bathroom and used the hair dryer to dry up the spot on her shorts. I slide the shorts up over my GoodNite like the big girl I am…lmao How ironic is that? I think. I started strapping my leg brace back on and my back spasmed in pain like someone slipped a steak knife in my spine. I put on the house shoes mom had bought me panting and sweating through the pain. Something is badly wrong.
  17. That Strange Girl

    Intriguing!
  18. Translating stories with no known author

    I'm always glad to dive into new worlds. I have NO idea what the rules would be in that regard, but if you have the time and it's OK... I'd gladly read.
  19. Repost/Edit - The Woes of Maddison Page - 6

    I have the specific injury she's dealing with, I just gave her a different cause. Her's was sudden, mine was gradual. The hospital didn't catch it because she didn't tell them about her back hurting. Everything else was more at the time. Besides the imagines wouldn't be clear till some of the swelling goes down. I'd be happy to talk to you about my injury, disability, and continued treatment. Message me!
  20. Weeing more when wearing nappies

    As an on and off padded dad, I find it's very much like toilet training. Over time you taught your body and mind to allow waste removal on the throne. Similarly, I find myself with very little control when I'm diapered. I taught myself that they were an acceptable place to go, but when I'm not partaking I have an iron bladder and prolly 2 full hours of pull over now level of control. When I'm diapered, though, I often dribble every time I stand or sit...
  21. Repost/Edit - The Woes of Maddison Page - 6

    It's a good one. I don't want to spoil it, but I've been doing a brief edit as I post. The front end is hard, and on purpose. But it picks up in ch 4!
  22. Repost/Edit - The Woes of Maddison Page - 6

    The Woes of Maddison Page Chapter 3 - Another good snot faced cry Forget the shower, I was starting to feel water logged from all these tears! Everything in my life traced back to my home. It was like some horrible game of Seven Degrees from Kevin Bacon, Seven Connections to my Burnt Down House. We’d never lived anywhere else. Everything I knew, every single memory, was now ashes and mud. They told us nothing was salvageable, and I hadn’t felt like checking it out myself. I hadn’t felt like leaving the hotel room for that matter. It wasn’t like I could get around good enough to sift through debris anyway. So, it all just sat there open to the elements. Even mom hadn’t been back by the site of the fire, and she was going stir crazy around our little hotel suite. She was constantly coming and going as she thought of little things she could pick up or go do. I had just stayed in the hotel room greeting the many well-wishers, most of the time from the freaking bathroom! I had a few friends that came by and hung out, but not many. With semester finals, even the ones who wanted to stay couldn’t stay for long. It’s not like my friends and classmates didn’t have sympathy, it’s more like they didn’t feel comfortable around the tragedy. As if being hurt wasn’t enough to make them uncomfortable, it was the sudden realization that everything they held dear is one spark away from ashes like my past was. I guess no one really wants to confront that reality. I can’t say I blamed them. I was living the reality and it still had to sink in in small doses. I’d have caved under the pressure if it had all fallen on me all at once. Isn’t the mind a blessedly weird and wonderful thing? Friend and enemy all in one. My friends and classmates were highly stressed for me, which only messed with my head even more. They’d putter around not being able to do anything to help, or think of something uplifting to say while I talked through the bathroom door. No one really had extra cash laying around to help us, not in this economy. Not that we would have accepted, but honestly, in these situations money is the only thing that really helps. Not having a phone isolated me from the outside world even further, like my bladder wasn’t doing a bang up job at that already! I’m pretty sure a few of my friends couldn’t even carry on a face to face conversation anymore! I felt like I was stuck in a furnished cave back in the technological dark ages. I can tell you with all certainty, technology withdraws are a real thing! I’m still not sure if the loss of my phone was a blessing or a curse though. I was in pain physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was truly and utterly overwhelmed standing there in the hotel bathtub. Even when it felt like life was too much to bear, I didn’t think of ending it. Nope. Never! Not me. I’m way too stubborn. The world was in for Maddison Page for until she didn’t have a say about it any more! What’s really hard to process is all this crazy “mommy” crap. Where the hell is that coming from. Sure, I feel like poo, but I’m not comfortable with the role reversal that was swinging back and forth here. I have to get my crap together! I thought of homework, college entrance essays, bill due dates, savings account balances, supply lists, finals, GPAs, ACT results, shoes, and whatever the hell that was going on with holding my pee. I couldn’t stop my wandering mind. It was everywhere. My body felt relaxed, but my mind was reeling. This shower was doing wonders for centering me though. Thinking and planning was my comfort zone. I just needed some time to get it all sorted. If my phone wasn’t melted glass and crispy circuits, I’d be making ToDo Lists in my favorite app. As it was, I’d have to try and remember all this to write down later. I wouldn’t get it all, but it helped me to focus on the things I could influence. Besides, my head would circle the same lingering thoughts again later. It wouldn’t stop until I took an action and started solving some problems. I poked my head out of the shower curtain and looked around for mom. I would have thought she’d have left by now, but she was worried about leaving me alone this morning. I sucked in a breath to detail why she should get out for a while when a random thought crossed my mind. “FUCK! I don’t have any other copies of my essays Momma! I’ll have to start writing my entrance and scholarship papers all over again. My damn computer went up with the house. I can’t even make use of this down time.” I screamed startling mom while she was standing by the door trying to leave. “Maddison Page! That’s enough with the language young lady!” Mom scolded me sternly while I broke down in rage hitting the bathtub wall. This time I didn’t have to strain to hear her authority. It came through clearly and piping hot! I gave her a sincere nod. I had everything else to worry about. I thought mom only had to worry about me. I knew for certain that I didn’t want her spare brain power poring over my bathroom issues. I’d just as soon have mom fussing over fire details instead of me. Mom focusing on me wasn’t going to reduce my stress levels. That was for damn sure! Fortunately, I had already submitted my application to state. I was fairly certain I’d get in, but you never put all your hopes in one place. I had a deadline of mid-January for the other essays though. I still had some time if I could just get started, but there was no getting started without a laptop. Now that I think about it, most of my drafts are on Google Docs with my school account. I may not have to start from scratch! The thought brought a genuine smile to my face. The first one I’d had in a while. Again fortunately, I was exempt from most of my finals this semester so the school had worked this week out as an extended Christmas vacation for me. I had to do a written exam for English Comp. I had some notes on it which were sitting on the nightstand out by the hotel bed, but I hadn’t been able to focus enough to make much headway. God bless them, I need a break somewhere. Who’d have thought it would come from the school? But, this “young lady” crap needs to stop before it snowballs on me. I want my Momma back, and I’m nearly a card carrying adult. I’m not headed in the right direction here! “Honey, you just stay here and don’t worry about going out with me. I’ll manage just fine. It sounds like you could use a nap anyway. Is the pain keeping you up? Do you still feel like you have to go when you are you sleeping? Are the urges keeping you up? You still have some of the pain medicine from the ER right?” She asked questioning the “need to pee” thing I had going on. “If I can fall asleep before my bladder starts false alarm coding again, I could definitely use some sleep though.” I told her from my warm shower of peace. I took a breath and tried to soak up as much of that peace as I could. We hadn’t been awake very long before mom had cleaned up and dawned some borrowed clothes this morning. It was only a little after seven when I started this shower. She was in the “get something done” mode, but there was no house to clean now, and tidying up our one bed hotel suite just didn’t take her that long. Mom inched toward the suite door. She was ready to get out of the room, but she seemed to be reluctant to leave me alone. She was fighting the mom of fixing it for her child, and the need to get away for her own sanity. God, I pray I can get to sleep, and I hope I didn’t wet my panties while I do! I prayed to the powers that be. I also made a mental not to look up Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I was pretty sure mom suffered terribly. “I’ll grab some melatonin. That’ll help you off to sleep before your bladder can get all mouthy.” Mom smirked. “I’ll check the bed when I get back, you know just in case. Now get dried off and go to sleep.” You’re hilarious. Glad someone thinks this shit is funny! I thought sarcastically shooting my mom the stink face behind her back. “Thanks momma.” I actually said out loud. She had to help me ease into the bathtub earlier, and I had really appreciated her help too. I just seemed to find more pain as time went by not less. I just wish I had had my phone. I’d enjoy some music. Still, that hot water felt terrific on my leg, back, arm, and even my mind. That back and forth to the bathroom was getting really old and making me more sore than I had imagined was possible. “Look, I’m going to cut you some slack, but you had better clean up that mouth. I’m not sure how long we’ll be cooped up here. We have to stay on the same team and not snipe at each other. I love you with all my heart my sweet baby.” Mom told me jiggling her keys and putting the do not disturb on the door as she stepped back into the bathroom. She just couldn’t leave she was too nervous, but she was still itching to go. I needed to let her off the hook because it was growing clear she wouldn’t leave on her own. “I’m sorry momma. I love you too. How long till we get something from the insurance company? I already gave them an itemized list of the house contents, so I think we are only waiting on the contents check. It’s not like the adjuster has much to work with out there. I really have to get a computer. Do you think I should get one with my savings and just replenish it later with the insurance money?” I pleaded for permission from my shower of solitude. “I’d guess we’ll be getting something from them soon. The contents check at least. You can call them and ask when you get out?” Mom volunteered me. What happened to my nap? “I may have to get something before then. I have entrance essays and some deadlines on several scholarships ahead of me. I need to schedule some interviews for a few of the local scholarships. I need to meet with the consolers and work out any colleges that I haven’t applied to. I have the ACT again this weekend. I really need to get my score up from 27 to 30. Well shit, I lost all of my study material that I’d bought before the fire. ARGH! Oh, the house insurance is due at the end of the month. Not sure how that goes now since there isn’t a house. The vehicle insurance is due middle of next month. Christmas is gone, and I have three papers to write for AP Comp before Christmas break is over. Not to mention, I don’t have any underwear, socks, hair products, makeup, clothes, posters, pencils, or a room of my own.” I started crying again. That was a damn long list, and it was just the first things off the top of my head. Mom made it back over to the shower, but refused to fall into tears again. Our pastor had stopped by yesterday. We broke down many times while he and his wife were here. He just loved and hugged us through it all. Mrs. Hagan reminded us that grieving was part of the healing process and that we’d continue to have little bouts of sorrow. “It’s normal girls. You two just let it all out we’re all here for you.” She’d told us. My bladder tingled again causing me to worry to spike. It was easier to get out with mom helping me, so I decided to get out of the tub. My shaving and such would just have to wait. I grabbed the wall railing and headed back to the toilet crying. My tears fell unchecked to the tile. I was tired and my face was sore and puffy, so I just let the tears fall. “Oh Honey. I can wait until later to go to the store. Besides maybe you’ll feel better and can go with me?” Mom offered. After another failed attempt on the toilet, I dried off and we headed off to the couch. I was aching all over like when you’re running a high fever. I lay down on the couch and asked mom for a pillow. She snagged a pillow for me off the bed. It wasn’t the right thickness, fluffiness, or texture. Hell, it didn’t even smell right. My pillow smelled like burnt up memories, but I wanted it right then. I decided I’d wash it and dry it later. I wanted that back. A little grass or bush stain wasn’t going to keep me from the pillow my Daddy got me. “Nah, you go. I might need some time alone for a good snot faced cry. Hopefully, I’ll be in a better mood when you get back. Will you pick up some nasal saline wash? I can’t smell anything but the fire.” I sighed and tried to relax into the little nest she had made. “Damn it.” I bellowed moments later. I was back on my way to the bathroom before mom made it back to the damn door. She looked back with a worried look on her face and I just waved her on taking off my leg brace-cast-thing. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and headed back to my new fulltime chair. I’d decided to take another long shower and just not care if I peed in the hotel tub or not. I wanted to shave everything, brush my teeth, and regain my sense of humanness anyway. I snagged my wet panties with my toes. I had every intention of sitting them on the sink, but stopped so I could take off the panties I was wearing. The wet crotch of my last fresh panties took my breath away. When the hell did that happen? Am I wetting my pants now? Monkey Balls! All the time I’ve spent on this damn toilet the last few days and there’s still piss in my panties! How the holy hell is there anything left in there! I told the toilet to go ‘F’ itself aloud, and hoped in the shower. Besides, I wasn’t cleaning the shower so what did I care if I peed. I turned the water up good and steamy. I’d get out of this shower floppy limbed and red as could be, but I just didn’t care anymore. The only other pair of panties I had was in the dirty clothes and my last two pair were apparently wet now. The shower is a great place for that snot faced cry I had promised myself, clean up being instant and all. Eventually, it was just the noise of my sorrow. Finally, it stopped. I was sure I’d have been sobbing if I could, but I just didn’t have anything left in the tank. I was finally all cried out. I reached out of the shower and grabbed my soiled undergarments. They needed a good rinse too, and I decided to take care of it while I was in the shower. I might have punched the shower wall with my good hand. More than once. I’m not proud of my little temper tantrum, but I felt better after I let it all out even if my knuckles were are red because of it. My cuts stung under the water, but they went numb with the rest of my skin in the heat. I’d left my leg and wrist splints in the bedroom on the sink. I needed a place to sit, but the hotel shower didn’t have the built in chair. I just leaned against the wall and let the water beat down my back and sooth my aches and pains. Eventually, I got around to all that modern female hair maintenance and started feeling like myself. The entire time I was in the shower, I felt like I needed to sit down and pee. It was seriously the strangest feeling, and it was humiliating. I had an ordered life with little time to spare and many many items to juggle. Every time I circled back around to my urine issues I thought, Ain’t nobody got no time for dat. Apparently, the only time I had any relief from the constant need to pee was when I was asleep, or distracted by something like crazy anger. Worry only made it worse. Unfortunately, worry was about all I had. So it fed the problem like a perpetual motion machine. I worried and needed to pee. I worried about needing to pee. I couldn’t get away from the toilet, and that caused me to worry more. Wet and repeat.
  23. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Birch House Chapter 8 --- Ann --- We were halfway through the movie that Mom had picked out for us, Frozen… again, and Becca was on her third beer. Mom was sipping on some of the Phillips’ wine. Me? I was deep into my third glass of apple juice. I know, I’m a lightweight. Alcohol just isn’t my thing. It sped up my bathroom breaks, and they were already more frequent than I could tolerate. Becca’s right. I preached to myself. There’s no need for me to get up. I don’t have to watch my fluid intake, and I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow. I’m gonna wake up wet regardless, and these things will hold a ton! I can do this! I blew a lot of bravado up my own nightgown with that little pep talk, but when push came to shove ten minutes later… I had a very hard time not rushing off to the bathroom like I had a billion times over the last ten years. You can do this. You did it involuntarily all the time. Just channel your inner ten year old and wet your pants! I fussed at myself. I’d worn a longer guys XL Tall tee, but Mom made me change. She wanted my diaper on display like hers… and Becca’s. I still couldn’t believe my punky best friend was sitting there in a white diaper and a black band tee. The diaper and her platinum hair looked good against her black shirt. My new top was a shorter ladies tall, Princess Bubblegum, tee. It had pink sleeves, collar, and waist trim. It was was cut like an old baseball jersey and I loved it. It was the most comfortable top I owned, and I slept in it all the time. I tugged my pink fuzzy socks up my ankles and tucked my feet back under my thighs laying like a Hut sideways by my Mom. Becca had taken up her spot at my feet on the floor. She’d started sitting on my feet when we were the only two on the couch, but that wasn’t the case that night. “Stop fidgeting Doodlebug.” Mom chidded during a lull in the action. Not that there was much action in that cartoon. Some people’s mother’s. I sighed internally. “Sorry, I gotta go.” I said. “Well, go.” Mom retorted in a whisper so she wouldn’t miss anything. How she could still watch Frozen after so many years, I’ll never know. “Yeah, Piss or get off the Pot damn. Keep kneeing me in the head.” Becca mumbled rubbing at a pretend wound. “Alright you two.” I said rising. “Where are you going?” Mom asked. “To the bathroom.” I replied confused. “Dude!” Becca laughed looking up from her phone. She grabbed her diapered crotch and shook it at me. “Oh…” I said like a scared mouse. “Might as well get it over with. You’re the only dry one here anyway.” Becca laughed offhandedly. “Oh Mom, I forgot I’m supposed to be checking you. How bad is it?” I asked her trying to distract them. “Well, shit. I’d forget my head. I’m so out of practice on diaper watch…” She laughed and poked at her diaper. “Uh… I should probably change.” Which meant she was close to leaking. “Well scoot. Becca are you wet too? Did you mean you’re wet?” I asked as Mom trundled out of the room. “Sure as shit am. Listen, these don’t do anything for me in a good way, but I don’t hate em either. Sure makes the drinking easier.” She laughed holding up her beer can. “I don’t think I can.” I whispered so low I could barely hear myself, but I was pushing my own limits stalling. “You can. You just don’t want to. I bet you’re afraid a magic bladder demon will get you if you do.” She teased. “You’re about right. He’d come and zap what little dignity I have left and leave me in these things full time.” I whined. “That seems super unlikely Babe.” She laughed taking another deep pull on her beer. “Look, I don’t know why this is happening again. The doctors seemed kinda surprised when I started getting better at 14.” I reminded her. “They warned me this was possible. At least I got ten good years padding free.” I flopped back onto the couch. “Well, there’s that. Hey you’re still daytime free!” She glass-half-fulled me. Mom came in and we both sort of knew it was time to let our conversation go. We started up the movie and she snuggled in tightly to me. I was trapped by Mom physically and my own head mentally. OK. I can do this. I can choose to do this. I’ll wet this diaper and conquer my fears. I prepared myself. I squeeze as hard as I could and, all I could muster was a tiny spurt. All those years of peeing without any control, and now I want to pee and I can’t. I really don’t want it though, not deep down. I want to jump up and run to the bathroom and rip this thing off. I want to never see a diaper again. There’s a common misconception in bladder control. Your urinary sphincter is at rest closed and flexed when it’s forced open. So the misnomer of “relaxing your bladder to pee” is misleading. Recalling my teen years and the multiple doctor’s appointments, I slowly focused my attention on the muscles between my legs. I concentrated gaining control of those muscles and slowly forced my body to follow my demands. I felt the flow pickup and then I heard the stream as it gained momentum. Mom just looked up at me and smiled. Becca’s head cocked to the side and she looked at me from the corner of her eye. Her head tilted up and she took a long drag of air. I saw her cheeks rise in a smile. She turned back to the movie and took another drink from her can of beer. “That’s my girl.” Becca said reaching back to pat my knee. “That wasn’t too bad was it Doodlebug?” Mom asked. “I mean, it’s not like I… I don’t even feel anything… geez these are good diapers. I can’t feel anything but some warmth. Still, I hate it Mom. I don’t want to need these!” I admitted whining. “I’m glad Molls. I’m gonna call Daddy before I go to bed. Thanks for the movie and cuddle girls.” Mom said getting up and crinkling off to the guest room. Mom shut the door on her way out of my bedroom leaving Becca and I alone. She didn’t even wait for the door to shut before she was sitting on my feet. She scratched at the top of her diaper in the middle of her back and wiggled until she was comfortable then laid down against me. “Netflix? Season 2 of our show is releasing. Wanna watch Season 1 again so we know what’s going on?” Becca asked almost vibrating with excitement. “Sure, one or two. I’m beat.” I told her. She popped up like a vampire when the sun goes down and paused at the door. “Want anything?” She asked. “More juice and popcorn!” I laughed. She seemed to be having that effect on me lately. “Sure thing. Get the show started.” She commanded leaving the room. I laughed at her crinkling saggy behind and turned my attention to the TV. Three remotes later I finally had the show queued up, but I was still waiting on Becca and my popcorn. She buys the movie theater popcorn salt online, and her popcorn is always the best. I was excited! With nothing left to occupy my mind, I looked down at my own crotch. Life is full of confusing paradoxes. Every day until I was fourteen, diapers were both safety and misery for me. I had a sudden resurgence of the feelings of security and comfort. They were familiar and not wholly... unwelcome. I didn’t hate them so much this time around as I had as a teenager. I bet the only reason I’m not reliving all the tears I shed is because I can take this off. I don’t HAVE to be in it right now. I have a choice. It had just taken some time for my adult mind to process those lingering conflicted feelings from my hormonal years. Diapers were necessary at that time in my life, not a choice. They weren’t a welcome necessity either. If I hadn’t worn my protection, I would have peed all over everything... all of the time. I have a tiny tiny bladder, and it was becoming treacherous again. My bladder was so small that my appetite had outgrown it early. I was bigger than my bladder before I ever started potty training. When Mom and Daddy made their only attempt at potty training me, I was around six years old. My best hold times were under an hour depending on what I’d had to drink. The major problem was that I had so little notice. When I was full, I had precious few moments to make it to the potty. I was constantly up running to the bathroom. We never really tired for overnight dryness, we just assumed that was a lost cause. Well, until I literally started to dry up... Then in the summer after I turned fourteen, I got the wild idea to try and hold my pee. I lengthened that to around two hours before I mentioned to Mom and Daddy what I’d done. We tried pull-ups over Christmas break and I found myself in panties for the first time just after the summer started. Another year later and my prideful sixteen year old self slept in a pull-up for the first time in my life! By the summer after I turned sixteen, I was totally padding free as long as I monitored fluids before bed. I felt so liberated when I started my first year of college that year. I had been thrilled to finish home school in pull-ups and elated to go to college with just heavy pads and thicker boyshort style panties. Here I was on my couch as an adult, an adult with an adult sized appetite and a baby sized bladder. I flipping hated it and I was comforted at the same time. It was such a crushing defeat. My mind spiraled between terrible defeat and the security that the diapers brought me. At the same time, I was just daring the universe to make my nightmares come true. Fluid watch hadn’t kept my bed dry or my hiney out of diapers! --- Becca --- “Damn, these things are comfortable, but it’s weird walking around with my gelled up piss squishing between my legs. I bet I could get some kick ass friction going.” I babbled whatever shit was floating on the top of my mind. Ann didn’t respond right away. I didn’t catch a laugh for my joke either. I figured her mood would sour without someone in here to keep her from dwelling on her shit. I planned to sleep up here on the couch that night. Good thing Trent’s off earning his fence money. My girl needs me tonight. Truthfully, I need my girl tonight too. Damn I’m feeling clingy as fuck. I got up. Maybe I’m drunk? I spun a quick circle, but didn’t fall. Buzzed for sure, but still coordinated enough to stay on two feet. I caught the aroma of fresh pee and decided Ann must have wet again. I bit back my quip about testing the limits of her new diapers. I didn’t figure she would appreciate it, at least not in her current mood. It was my job to keep her mood light as possible. “Dude, my girl needs more refreshments and I need a new beer.” I said bowing like a stage actor while handing her some juice and popcorn. “By the way, juice and popcorn is fucking nasty. Just sayin.” “Well, I wouldn’t have said no to a Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew with the popcorn, but juice is fine.” Ann said sounding deflated. “I got you babe. I need something too.” I said snagging up her juice and bounced to the kitchenette. “Here we go, carbonated sugar water for the all around unhealthy snack! Start the show Baby.” I told her flopping down on her feet before leaning over lying on her lower body. Ann was sprawled out like a woman on a fainting couch with her elbow propped on the arm of the seat. I laid down against her, my elbow on her diapered hip. Every time I moved, we both crinkled. I secretly loved it and wiggled as much as possible. “Lord woman, settle. I can’t hear the show over your diaper.” She finally giggled. Victory is Mine! “You’ve seen these before right?” I asked. “Yeah you made me watch em. Good stuff but sad.” Ann told me. “I know. Like real life. Hard to watch, but still worth the viewing.” I threw out a rare truth nugget. “Wow. Booze makes you deep.” She giggled. I blushed. Maybe it did? I’d never thought about it. Suddenly, I was trapped in my own head. My life was pretty awesome except for the Trent not being around enough thing. I was so glad he’d come home last night. I’d needed that pounding so bad. I was pleasantly sore. It was a great way to live. I took a breath and pushed another can of beer into my diaper. That was the only thing I hated about drinking. I had to piss all the time, like all the fucking time. Not as much as Ann used to, but damn close! I don’t know if these things have a place in my life in any other area, but I was pretty sure I’d be drinking padded again. “God alcohol is so much more satisfying when you don’t spend half your buzz on the toilet or waiting in line to use one.” I laughed. “Movies are better when you can sip soda and munch popcorn and not have to get up and miss scenes too.” Ann added. Holy Crap Batman! Was that a positive thought about her diapers! Progress! Ok, pull it back… don’t spook her! “See these things aren’t all bad.” I laughed. “I guess. They even feel sort of comfortable to me. Like my old favorite pair of blue jeans. I just have so many emotions tied up with them, and most of them are negative.” She slumped into the couch. “Listen, set those feels aside. You’re not thirteen any more hun. You’ve outgrown those feels man. Just be who you are today. You have a problem. You made a choice. You solved it your own way. Chill. Hahaha Netflix and Chill Baby.” I laughed at my own joke. Yeah, I’m totally plastered! Ann got really quiet and I saw the humor leave her eyes. I got a tiny flare of new piss through my nose and looked down at her crotch. Her diaper was wet, but no where near as wet as mine. I wasn’t sure she even noticed she’d peed a bit. I sure as fuck wasn’t bringing it up either. My best friend seemed to zone out pretty heavily as she continued to watch the show. I wasn’t as into it as I was the first time we’d watched it together, so my mind wandered. My diaper was so wet by the end of the second episode that I was getting uncomfortable. I’d been drinking for hours without one trip to the bathroom! It was sort of miraculous. It had been a great night of fun, and I was very happy to see Mrs. Smith… er Robin. She’d always been my second Mom. I felt that way about her, naturally I saw her as more of a woman than Ann did. I had a unique perspective on the Smiths since I wasn’t one, not really. I always thought it was fun to love Robin as a Mom and a friend at the same time. It was amazing to see her and that night was the first time in my life she’d ever worn just her diaper around me, but as far as I knew, she’d been diapered since they moved in next door. “Hey you ok to watch another?” I asked hopefully. “I don’t know” *Yawn* “I’m pretty sleepy.” She told me resting her head on the arm of the couch. “Awe, come on. It’s still just ten! You never go to bed this early.” I complained. Ann appeared to lose herself in thought. I don’t know what she was thinking about, but she seemed to be thinking really hard about it. Eventually, she reached down and touched her diaper. It was the first time she’d really acknowledged it in front of me. I held my breath. This was an important moment. She poked it once and I literally felt her shoulders slump. Oh no girl. We ain’t having any of that! I jumped up. I swiveled around and pulled my tee up under my boobs. I looked at her and smiled. She fought her smile and looked down at my diaper. I reached for her diaper and pinched it. “Wow, you’re doing way better than I am. Damn. I’m fucking soaked.” I told her. “Think it will hold more?” I asked shaking my hips waving the diaper in front of her. Ann reached up and pinched around on my diaper. She touched it by my thighs, up by my waist, and spun me around and played with the backside. “Yeah. You really did soak this thing. I don’t think this one will hold much more.” She said meekly. “Well, throw me another one. Yah?” I said sort of bouncing. “This thing is hilarious. Flops all around like a dead fish. I feel like a freaking toddler in a Pampers Commercial.” “HA!” Ann barked a sharp laugh. Oh my God. Her laugh. That’s so much better. I thought. “Look!” I laughed swinging my hips like a dude fucking the air in a stripper show. The diaper flopped back and forth making wet slapping noises against my ass and pussy. “Oh Lord Becks cut it out!” She said laughing hard. “I can’t! It’s too fucking funny. Show me yours!” I laughed. “Oh, no. I couldn’t.” Ann hedged. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I reached down and grabbed her hands tugging her up. She flew up off the couch, and it was funny to watch the dynamic change. As she stood, she began to tower over me. I laughed switching from looking down at her to looking up at her, and tugged her into a tight hug. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could smell our diapers. I was fairly certain I was going to have to switch to water. I smelled pretty dehydrated. Ann just smelled a bit like her bathroom, but I’d never tell her that. Come to think of it, a small hint of urine has always been a part of her scent bouquet. I just seemed to be able to smell her better these days. I kept swinging my hips, but Ann wasn’t getting into the swing of things. So I swung my hips closer and closer until I was bumping into her. At first, it was super funny and I laughed even harder. Accidentally, or by some fate’s design, I bumped my very soggy diapered crotch into her thigh. Electricity shot through my system from my pussy straight to my brain. “OH MY GOD!” I yelled. I couldn’t stop my body from repeating the motion that followed. I bounced my pussy onto her again and again. There was no mistake this time. It happened, and I did it on purpose, well sort of. I still had a hold of her hands. I pulled our hands out to the sides drawing us closer together grinding my diaper into her leg. I froze myself a few thrusts in. I had been entirely out of control. Sudden fear washed over me. Terror shuck me to my core. I was sort of dry humping Ann! What the hell was going on? Oh but it felt so good. I tried to stand back up and the warm gel rubbed against my clit causing a shudder to pass through my whole body. I was so very close. I was close to getting off, to losing my friend, to cheating on my husband, to fucking a chick, to losing my identity, to losing my house, to fucking up our home, to losing my fucking mind. So close to so many things… I’m way drunker than I thought.
  24. Birch House - Chapters 11

    Thanks all for the good vibes! More coming. Some twisty parts are queued up. I'm excited to share!
  25. This is a work of art! I'd love to watch this as an animated series or read an a companion comic. Just awesome. City of Heros meets This is Us with a spalsh of Voltron! Wicked fun to read!