I had AB feelings since i was 12, but i had no idea what they were, what they were called and even if it was ok to have them. it wasnt until 2 yrs after my marridge that i worked it out, and the first person i told was my wife, i was relieved that i finally knew what it was and it was ok, up to that point i thought i was some kind of sicko. There was no way I was going to tell a living soul about this before then, not even my wife to be.
She did not take it well, and the expected accusations and links to children came up. She said i should haev told her before we got married so she would have had the choice, and i responded by saying i didnt know what it was then, i do no and im telling you the same day as I have found out.
She also said she thought of me as less of a man now. things have never been the same again, but we do love each other and we are still together after 13 yrs. its never easy to tell someone, and you are brave to manage to do so at any time during your relationship. I think we can all understand why so many of us hide our love for nappies.
So many never tell a loved one. I hope that you can both find a happy medium so you can continue to live your lives together, and that you may manage to live without nappies being the centre of everything. it seems that you have already found the neutral ground.
good luck mate
Fozzy