I think if you're AB/DL going into a relationship, you shouldn't expect to find someone who'll also be into it. But that goes for anything. You can't be super in love with retro gaming and expect the other person to be into it, too. If they do then wonderful! If not, respect their wishes. You can't go shoving your interests/fetishes in their face if it makes them uncomfortable. If they ditch you because of your interests, then they obviously didn't respect your wishes either.
Sort of like my being a furry, if you don't present it as a super-big lifestyle thing, they other people might not take is as a big deal. But if it is a super-big lifestyle thing to you, then you'll have to find someone who feels the same way about it. That's what I think, anyway.