Guineapigged

I don't ageplay physically, but every night before I go to sleep I have about an hour that I dedicate to whatever "fantasty" scenario is on my mind. My scenario tends to change as I become intrested in different TV shoes, games, books etc because of one crucial thing - I am never actually ME in these scenarios. I don't know why, but I just never felt comfortable using myself as the protagonist, so I regress using one of these fictional characters. Another thing that people may find unusual is that though I am female, I "use" male characters and regress to a baby/toddler boy. (I often hear about male>female but never female>male.)

UK NHS Direct: 0845 4647 And as to be put in touch with your local crisis team.

Those are my two favourite cartoons. In fact, I broke out my Spongebob DVDs today and watched the entire first season.

Anhedonia makes "herself" at home and nothing is enjoyable anymore. What do you do when you feel yourself slipping into that rut?

I have been on Citalopram and Sertraline in the past. Now I am on Escitalopram and Buspirone. I hate it. I wish I had never started on any kind of medication. I was only 17 when I agreed to go on anti-D's, and even though I was severely depressed, at least I still had a personality. These last few years on drugs have sapped my "life force". Sure, I don't feel so depressed anymore. But I don't feel happy, either. I don't feel ANYTHING. I am numb. And I still think about taking my life, for that reason. So am I really any better off than I was when I started?

I have a DS and a PSP. I love survival horror games (Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Manhunt), though sadly there aren't many on portable gaming systems. Other games I like are Professor Layton, Pokemon, Guitar Hero, Loco Roco, Mario Kart, Super Mario Bros.

I recieved my sample 2-pack of Cuddlz this morning and thought I'd try stuffing them. I opened the back carefully and tried to seperate the padding from the plastic, but I just ended up with a lumpy mess of fluff and crystals, and ultimately a big rip in the back. Am I doing something wrong, or is that how it is supposed to be? I just kind of presumed the padding would be a nice neat pad rather than a load of loose fluff and crystals. Any tips? I am wary of stuffing now, I don't want to ruin any more in this way.

It didn't arrive today. Hopefully tomorrow!

Yeah, the one I ordered has disappeared too.

Inner Child UK.

This one: I can't wait for it to arrive.

Is he a duck? I love ducks!

Both really. Listening to the songs gave me a very intense feeling of dread and hopelessness. I am entering into a depressive phase, though I'm not sure whether the depression is causing me to loose pleasure, or the loss of pleasure has triggered the depression. I also get the disgust thing. "This is wrong", "This isn't normal" etc.

I was listening to some childhood songs last night, like I often do, but instead of relaxing me I found the experience to be quite triggering and I had to stop because it made me feel so bad. I also get no comfort out of my bottles or soothers anymore. I don't want to throw everything away, because I still have the desire to regress, but at the same time I am now finding the experience to be more a case of going through the motions than pleasurable. Why the sudden change?

Depression, anxiety, psychosis.

I would never get my teeth pulled out. However, I have to wear a guard on my bottom teeth at night like this, to stop them from grinding together: I find it very comforting to wear and it makes it much easier for me to suck my dummy. It's kind of like having just my top set of teeth.

1. Do you like milk? I'm referring to cow's milk in this instance. - I do not like drinking milk on it's own, but I have it on my cereal. I always have full milk. 2. If you DO NOT like milk, do you drink another kind of milk, such as soy or almond? If you DO like milk, have you or would you consider also drinking another kind of milk, such as goat, soy or almond? - I don't fancy trying any of those, no. 3. If you have tried other milks, again such as goat, soy or almond, which do you enjoy if any? If you have never tried other milks, which would you try if any? - I might try soy. Please skip the following questions if you do not like ANY milk/milk alternative. 5. What is your favorite flavor of milk, such as plain, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla? This includes alternative to cow's milk milks. - Chocolate. 6. What do you drink your milk/milk alternative in? (Glass, plastic cup, sippy, baba, beer mug...) - My giraffe bottle. 7. Do you add anything special to your milk/milk alternatives? - No. 8. Do you mix any other drinks with your milk/milk alternatives, such as baby formula or Ensure (for example, to thin those drinks down in calorie content)? No. EDIT - Bonus question: Do you have any desire to try breast milk? Why or why not? - No. The idea just repulses me.

I have to stay with the Early Intervention team for 6 months minimum, and also I have to see my doctor regularly for prescriptions etc. I can go away for a week if I want, but I have to be back before I run out of meds (they only give me 1 months supply at a time.)

I am and I hate it, I get passed from person to person and my keyworkers drive me mad sometimes because they act like they're my parents and nag at me. I hate not having any freedom, I wish I could just pack my bags and go somewhere.

Was it like this?

I think I know what you mean but I can't remember what it was called either lol. I'm going to have a look around and see if I can come up with anything.

That's so funny!

I was in Sainsburys today. I'm sure they used to have self-checkouts but they have disappeared, so I ignored my nerves and put the pack of value nappies (for stuffers) on the conveyer belt. I just thought, why would anybody think they are for me? Anyway, then I noticed the girl in front of me had an unusual combination of items on the belt: Drynites, ladies tights, and Star Wars pasta shapes. Then I noticed that the girl was a guy (though I could only tell by the way his hair grew). I'd say he was late teens to early twenties. He looked as anxious as me, but we smiled nervously at each other when I caught his eye. I am still wondering if he was an AB/DL or if I was over-analyzing things.

They had looooads of Drynites, but they only had the small ones.

I ended up getting the Underjams, though they only had the boy colours. I'm not generally a fan of the girly designs but the underjam ones didn't look too bad. Just had a quick try to check if I could actually fit into one and I do, though only just.