Guineapigged

I don't ageplay physically, but every night before I go to sleep I have about an hour that I dedicate to whatever "fantasty" scenario is on my mind. My scenario tends to change as I become intrested in different TV shoes, games, books etc because of one crucial thing - I am never actually ME in these scenarios. I don't know why, but I just never felt comfortable using myself as the protagonist, so I regress using one of these fictional characters. Another thing that people may find unusual is that though I am female, I "use" male characters and regress to a baby/toddler boy. (I often hear about male>female but never female>male.)

UK NHS Direct: 0845 4647 And as to be put in touch with your local crisis team.

Those are my two favourite cartoons. In fact, I broke out my Spongebob DVDs today and watched the entire first season.

Anhedonia makes "herself" at home and nothing is enjoyable anymore. What do you do when you feel yourself slipping into that rut?

I have been on Citalopram and Sertraline in the past. Now I am on Escitalopram and Buspirone. I hate it. I wish I had never started on any kind of medication. I was only 17 when I agreed to go on anti-D's, and even though I was severely depressed, at least I still had a personality. These last few years on drugs have sapped my "life force". Sure, I don't feel so depressed anymore. But I don't feel happy, either. I don't feel ANYTHING. I am numb. And I still think about taking my life, for that reason. So am I really any better off than I was when I started?

I have a DS and a PSP. I love survival horror games (Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Manhunt), though sadly there aren't many on portable gaming systems. Other games I like are Professor Layton, Pokemon, Guitar Hero, Loco Roco, Mario Kart, Super Mario Bros.

I recieved my sample 2-pack of Cuddlz this morning and thought I'd try stuffing them. I opened the back carefully and tried to seperate the padding from the plastic, but I just ended up with a lumpy mess of fluff and crystals, and ultimately a big rip in the back. Am I doing something wrong, or is that how it is supposed to be? I just kind of presumed the padding would be a nice neat pad rather than a load of loose fluff and crystals. Any tips? I am wary of stuffing now, I don't want to ruin any more in this way.

It didn't arrive today. Hopefully tomorrow!

Yeah, the one I ordered has disappeared too.

Inner Child UK.

This one: I can't wait for it to arrive.

Is he a duck? I love ducks!

Both really. Listening to the songs gave me a very intense feeling of dread and hopelessness. I am entering into a depressive phase, though I'm not sure whether the depression is causing me to loose pleasure, or the loss of pleasure has triggered the depression. I also get the disgust thing. "This is wrong", "This isn't normal" etc.

I was listening to some childhood songs last night, like I often do, but instead of relaxing me I found the experience to be quite triggering and I had to stop because it made me feel so bad. I also get no comfort out of my bottles or soothers anymore. I don't want to throw everything away, because I still have the desire to regress, but at the same time I am now finding the experience to be more a case of going through the motions than pleasurable. Why the sudden change?

Depression, anxiety, psychosis.