Awesome Question. I know for a lot of us, we hear the horror stories of how telling a significant other about our diapers has destroyed relationships. In truth, for me any way, not telling was doing more harm.
I had been wearing diapers off and on most of my life but always kept it a secret. During a long term relationship that I had with a Single father of a 2 yr old little girl, I had confessed my desires to him. Shortly after that, he stopped speaking with me and moved away without saying good-bye. I was devestated and can only assume that my diaper desire was the cause.
Years later, I met my now husband. I was afraid to tell him because of my previous experience so I kept it my little secret and wore when I could. We married in 1993 and he still didn't know. I managed to wear diapers everytime he went out of town on business. This of course made me wish he had to travel more and more. I looked forward to him having to leave town.
After moving and him taking on a new job, his traveling days were less and less and so was my diaper wearing until I finally started wearing during the day while he was at work. Now I started to resent his coming home in the evening. I felt like he was robbing me of my diaper desires but he didn't even know I was wearing. I felt like I was lying to him. I hated what I felt it was doing to our relationship.
After 8 yrs of marriage, I finally told my husband in 2001 about my diapers. At first he didn't believe me and then he said he accepted it but it took him a long time to really be comfortable with it. We went through a period of time when he made fun of me or got upset when I was wearing because he really didn't understand why I wanted to wear despite everything I had told him. I withdrew wearing in front of him and went back to only wearing while he was at work. I was afraid he would never come around but at least now I didn't feel as if I was lying to him any more.
It took a while, but I believe he is now much more comfortable with my wearing because on a few occasions, he has diapered me himself and even once or twice has donned a diaper himself. He says it doesn't do anything for him to wear it but he does like how it looks on me and how happy it seems to make me. One night, as I lay sleeping in bed, I awoke to find him at the side of my bed holding a fresh diaper, my plastic pants, a bib, a baby bottle and a jar of baby food. He diapered me, fed me and tucked me in with my bottle for the night. I was in AB heaven.
Telling him was the hardest thing I ever had to do but despite the rough patch I had to go through, I would say it was well worth telling him. I would suggest to anyone contemplating telling a spouse or significant other, you first make sure they are trustworthy to keep this secret. You would hate for them to tell anyone who you hadn't planned on telling yourself.
I want to applaud those who found the courage to tell the truth. It is not an easy thing to do but it well worth it. And to those who have helped thier SO find the fun in diaper wearing, I wish you lots of fun with your new AB/DL friend.