Bettypooh

"I love my diapers, but if it came right down to it, I'd walk away from my stash in favor of my real world...this being my secret, closeted, fantasy world..." Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them, and I'm not being critical but I lived through the hell once and I'd survive it again if I had to.....somehow. I am a DL, so for me there's no point denying the truth if forced to. I am a painfully honest person and I can't stand living a lie. I don't need to share being DL with anyone I choose not to and I hope it stays that way. If it doesn't then it was meant to be that way. Who you are is more inside of you and how you feel than what you do and why. You can either accept it or deny it, but the latter choice won't change it: you are still the same inside. How you handle your needs and wants is a different thing altogether, and as long as you are ready to face the truth if needed, nobody can hold that knowledge over you and you will remain a free spirit like we all should be. ABDL is nothing compared to a rapist or murderer or child molester or etc. It's just a part of who some of us are that hurts nobody else unless they want it to. Bettypooh

How am I doing? WET descrbes it pretty good I guess Greenville here, the new "Little Atlanta" but AFAIK, no ABDL scene I'm not seeking anyone at the moment beyond friends, check out my ptofile for more about me. I can't diaper at work but the cooler weather means diapers fulltime till Monday morning Ain't weekends FUN? Bettypooh

I'm more than a bit hard of hearing but I know others aren't If I expect anyone to be near, then I go for discreet The crinkling is a large part of the experience for me otherwise. My first plastic panties came from XP medical. I asked them to reccomend the noisiest ones and I got some "Crystal Clear" ones that were nicely noisy Too bad I can't find any more of these I haven't tried enough disposables to comment there, but unless I just put it on, all my diapers at home are covered since I leave them on as long as I can or until they leak, whichever comes first Rubber panties offer a different sound which I also like But best of all are the plastic "made to fit krinkle pants" I got off of Ebay recently. They're unbelievably loud, like comparing a rain shower to a clap of thunder The tiniest movement makes more noise than hyper-activity in anything else! Bettypooh

Thank you for the welcome and I already feel quite a bit "at home" here As I get closer to my goal of bedwetting again I'll keep you posted Ditto of any other significant diaper events in my life Bettypooh

Check out: stuff.n.things.951 on Ebay. Their "loud crinkle made to fit you" plastic panties are unbelievably loud! My old "Crystal Clear" ones from XP were noisy(they don't sell these anymore) but whisper quiet in comparison to the Ebay item. I haven't had mine long but so far-they appear to be well made, the legs seem to be much bigger than I specified, and they have full coverage in the rear. The plastic is a thick opaque vinyl like none I've ever seen before. Due to the fit I wonder if they just send from stock sizes? And I wonder how well the thick plastic will hold up? But they're so noisy that you cannot possibly hide the crinkling, and you'll be heard from dozens of feet away, farther if they are uncovered. I'm not exaggerating one bit, they are NOISY-NOISY-NOISY-NOISY-NOISY-NOISY-NOISY-NOISY-NOISY like no others! Bettypooh

Just finished Kate Bush- "The Dreaming" and "Hounds Of Love". Next up is Guadalcanal Diary-"Walking In The Shadow Of The Big Man". After that maybe some Ultravox? Mozart? Ventures? Missing Persons? Steely Dan? Offspring? Angels And Airwaves? Sigue Sigue Sputnik? Offspring? John Prine? Oh PLEASE don't make me pick just one, I like all good music! Bettypooh

A shiver runs up my spine......... My DL seems to be at the same point my crossdressing was many years ago, where I decided to come out and no longer be afraid of the consequenses. I knew it was something that I couldn't hide anymore so it was a question of telling people when and how I wanted to or having them find out and decide without my input. I don't have to hide my femininity anymore and my house reflects that. My clothes are visible to anyone who looks, every day. There is relief in not hiding anymore, and it all began by my joining CD/TG forums and groups online, just like I'm doing here. OK, that cost me my job, many so-called friends, some family relationships, and those costs continue. I'm saner and happier than I was before so I guess that was good. I can explain why I'm TG quite well to anyone who will listen. But diapers? I can't explain this at all. I love to wear them, I love to feel warm and wet, and I love plastic and rubber panties. I can't find another way to sleep all night to get the rest I need. That's not going to be enough of an explanation to most people and I know it. I won't lie and say I'm incontinent, my karma has a really sharp bite when I tell lies. My diaper stash is hidden, the biggest clue is the plastic under my sheet and underneath my bedspread you can't hear it. Nobody knows here but me, and somehow I know that isn't going to be enough. I see the parallels happening again, the compulsion to be out online, and where it might take me. I don't need to lose another great job or anymore friends from the remaining half of who I used to have. I don't need the problems, but I need to share, to be honest, to be myself freely, to continue on my life's journey. For now I'm in the closet but will I stay there? It's scary........... Bettypooh

There are dreams, there are nightmares, and then there's reality which blends both and hands it to you without giving you all the choices you want. My dream: Leaky as a sieve, but no pooping. My nightmare: Total incontinence. My reality: Some days I leak enough to worry if I'm unprotected, and when that begins halfway through a workday it's a real pain. I don't want to spend all my disposable income on disposables. Bladder incon in diapers only would be lovely, but since that choice wasn't given to me I had to say no. To those who think they'd like it, I say try it first. Take enough laxatives and diuretics to lose control and then do it every day for a week, a month, or however long it takes you to fully grasp what it is you were asking for and all the unseen implications, then answer the poll. I'll bet your choices will be different. Remember that life isn't a dream, it's for real and sometimes it sucks bigtime! Bettypooh

I never thought I'd see 50,LOL! But here I am, and age teaches you to live while you can. The short of this is that I am a S/W/Tg/DL, born 'boy' but not really being one and not totally 'girl' either, just someone in-between that enjoys parts of both worlds. I was a pantswetter and bedwetter long after everyone else was dry, and that is part of how I got here in my life's journey. My goal is to be a diapered bedwetter and I'm getting there. Now the 'long' part of my introduction. I wet my pants almost daily till I was 8-9 and hated the crap it got me. Back then I would have done anything to stop but it wasn't in the cards. It tapered off but was a constant worry till I was in my mid-teens, and it never fully stopped. Neither body or head doctors found any reason for my incontinence and my parents were no help either. Being that leaky, I was obviously a bedwetter too. That nightly ptoblem kept on till my mid-teens before tapering off slowly. Even at 25 I wet my bed a couple times a month. More than one drink of alcohol back then meant a wet bed, and getting drunk meant a flood. In school I had begun to double my underwear for absorbency but on some days that still wasn't enough. At 13 I was already a social outcast and wondering about the girls that my wetness and weirdness kept away from me. One day I swiped a pair of panties from the family clothes hamper and put them on. Finding they felt wonderful on me I kept at it, 'borrowing' clean ones from my sisters. I discovered something else about panties; I stayed dry wearing them! Knowing they wouldn't absorb more than a few drops might have had something to do with that. And the shame of wearing panties was less than the shame of having wet pants. At least I could hide my panties and have a life that wasn't happening any other way, but they didn't help in bed where I stayed as wet as ever. I went through purges of my panties and managed to stay dry without them but I was hooked and in time I began to crossdress fully, and finding that it was not going away I learned to live with it in my closet. In my 30's I came out as a CD only to find that there was more to me than that, I was TG as well. I almost transitioned at one point but I finally decided it wasn't right for me. Maybe someday, but I'm more in-between than TS. Intimate relationships were almost never for me, and always short-lived(one exception)so I've gotten used to the single life. Sex was never a big thing with me anyway. Finding the peace that self-acceptance brings I began to explore another social taboo, diapers. My parents denied me that help but I didn't have to so I began cycles of wearing pinned-on towels, especially after a night of drinking. With a plastic bag under me, my bed stayed mostly dry now, another success! I was in my late 30's before I got online and discovered other AB/DL's. That brought me more peace, but I'm still in the closet with diapers. My DL life is private and I share it only online. Were I to find the right person I might chance it, but handling rejection isn't one of my better qualities. After finding that diapers and plastic panties were easily obtained online, I soon had a nice collection. Knowing that my being DL was here to stay I didn't purge. I tried several disposables and found that I preferred to feel wet so I tried cloth. I was hooked again, but laundry was a problem, so now I mostly wear disposables, wearing cloth only when I really want to. I always wear plastic or rubber panties since that is part of the experience for me, and they help greatly to prevent leakage. Most of my diaper wearing is at home, and almost always in bed. I rarely poop my diapers but if a change is imminent anyway I occasionally take the easy way out. For me, it's all about being wet, knowing I'm wet, and feeling it! I wear diapers in public occasionally but well hidden. I wet them there too and so far it's not been a problem. After long thought I decided that I really want to become a bedwetter again, but only while wearing diapers. I tried a free hypnosis thing but it didn't seem to help. My sleep has always been restless, waking several times just to go pee, and I'm tired of that. I still wake to pee most of the time, but I've surprised myself by waking up wet and it's happening more often. I worry some that I will end up needing diapers for bed all the time but if that happens I'll just get used to it. I'm sleeping better than ever before and happily reaching my goal of being a diapered bedwetter. I'm becoming more comfortable sharing this part of me so I decided to quit being a lurker here and share a bit of me with you. Where will this lead? Who knows, but life is for living and my journey goes on! Bettypooh

As someone noted already, the original "Fetish"(proper noun) was an object that supposedly held special powers. In the context used here, a "Fetish"(adjective) is defined by the DSM4 standards as a paraphilic condition, where a person is "characterized by recurrent, intense sexual urges, fantasies, or behaviors that involve unusual objects, activities, or situations and causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning". This leads to needing to define "clinically significant distress or impairment etc". It doesn't seem to me that any of us here are distressed or impaired being AB/DL's, so I don't think we are "fetishists" by official definition. Having said that, some of us have stated that they wear diapers for sexual purposes so in that regard some may be fetishists. For me there's a lot more to my diapers than anything sexual. I like how they feel(especially when wet), I like the sounds of plastic and rubber panties, I like the security of knowing my clothes will stay dry, I like the regimen of putting them on, and I like the convenience of not having to use a bathroom all the time. It's not a fetish for me, just an enjoyable part of my life! Bettypooh

Hello from Greenville There's no ABDL 'scene' here but I'm sure there's something underground that I don't know about. This town's too big with too many colleges nearby to not to have something going on

Add me to the list I potty trained waaaaay late, wetting my pants almost daily till 8-9, wetting my bed nightly till my early teens It tapered off slowly but returned when I discovered alcohol. In my late 20's if I came home drunk a wet bed was certain. If I drank normally it was a 50-50 thing. As a child my parents refused to allow me any protection but as an adult I began diapering for bed when I thought I should I quit drinking in my late 30's and the bedwetting went down to 2-3 times a year but I still woke up several times a night to pee A few years ago I finally figured out that the relentless waking was ruining my rest and causing a lot of stress in my life, so I decided to become a bedwetter again I usually wake to pee, remember my diaper, and go back to sleep immediately afterwards. Sometimes I don't wake up and that's exactly what I'm aiming for I want to sleep all night, every night, but I don't want to wet my bed if I'm not in diapers(or sharing my bed ). If I can't keep it working both ways then I'll go with the diapers and work the rest out as best I can Bettypooh

At my age I've given up trying to stop the inevitable I love diapers and that isn't going to stop or change so I accept it. But I can choose how to deal with it If it weren't for the possible social repercussions we'd all diaper most of the time but most of us can't manage to get our lives to work that way, so we do what we must when we can and deal with it in the way that suits us best I'm not in control of what I need; nobody is. I'm not in control of what I want; ditto. But I am in control of how I deal with it, what risks I take, and how much I share willingly. Bettypooh

Gender IS a tricky and interesting subject It seems that you missed one possibility in the poll though; you didn't allow me to choose who I am: "Either/Neither Girl or Boy" Gender isn't about physical characteristics, or sexual preference, or even expression. It's WHO you feel you are inside And I'm in the middle though sometimes the boy looms larger and sometimes the girl does. At 50yo I've learned how to deal with my variable-gendered life in a way that suits me best though each of us has to get to that place on our own And gender is NOT binary; there's more to it than just being a girl or being a boy so don't push people into being one OR the other Let each of us just be whoever we are and do the same for yourself Bettypooh