Dr_J

So you built this model? That doesn't make it right, and there are still inconsistencies with your initial claim.

I'm gonna agree with @mamabug here. Rosalie, what are you basing your claims off of? Personal experience? Hard scientific evidence? You're already incorrect by throwing ABDL all into one classification. That is wrong, and there are indeed many, many grey areas with the lifestyle.

Figured I would start a thread for those of us gamers and video game music creators/enthusiasts! I make a lot of music on the side, nearly all retro-inspired and whatnot. Any fellow gaming nerds out there?

I'd highly recommend it, @RambleLamb! Fantastic series.

Ah! I almost forgot! Has anyone else seen "Altered Carbon"? I had no idea it was based on a book, but whew! What a great show!

Don't forget, everyone: the next chapter will conclude the story! ? Working on it this week!

Excellent work as always, my love! :) <3

I'm a huge fan of "Black Mirror", as it reminds me of The Twilight Zone with a 21st century twist!

Thank you! I'm glad you like it! :)

Thanks again for all the kind feedback, everyone. I'm sure you've been patiently waiting for the next installment, so thank you for that. Here is Chapter 12 for ya! Chapter 12 “Now, where are all of baby's diapers and supplies kept, hmm?” I asked coyly, booping Michael on the nose once more. Michael quietly pointed to his closet, replying with a, “Left side in the big blue tote.” “Let's see if someone's fibbing,” I winked, sliding the closet door open and finding the blue tote, pulling out a thick white diaper, baby powder, and even a fuzzy, baby blue blanket, “he's not! Ohh, such a smart baby bear! Does someone like holding their blankie, hmm?” After saying that, I went back over to Michael, pinching his cheeks ever softly. This only made him blush even further, to a shade of red that I didn't think humanly possible. “U-um, no, it's for...diaper changes if I do them on the floor instead of the bed.” “Mmmm, I see! Well, let's keep this out, just in case we need to change you on the floor then.” I sang, before leading Michael over to his bed. “Now, you lie down and get comfy, and your babysitter will take care of the rest, okay?” With an even more timid nod, Michael plopped down on his bed, inching to the middle of it with a deep breath. I set the diaper and powder down next to him, then knelt on the bed, carefully opening his legs and making my way between them, my eyes locked onto Michael's as I smiled. He looked shy, nervous, and content, all at the same time, and the combination of the three was so cute! Reaching into my pocket, I gently pulled out the baby blue pacifier I'd bought, before leaning over Michael and smiling even more. “I got something for you,” I sang, before showing him the pacifier, then guiding it to his mouth, “gotta make sure we don't have a fussy baby on our hands, don't we?” With nod, Michael accepted the pacifier, suckling it softly. This only made me gush over him more, planting kisses on his bright red cheeks and on the pacifier itself. He wiggled excitedly, smiling but not saying a single word. I then said to him, “Alright, I'm gonna get you out of these pants and boxers first, okay?” He nodded, and I then carefully worked on undoing his belt, before unbuttoning his and unzipping his pants. I tapped his hips softly, making him raise up gently before I grabbed both his pants and boxers by the sides, pulling them down and away from him, tossing both to the side before taking hold of the diaper once more. I noticed he almost started to try covering himself up, but I ever gently waved my finger before moving his hand back to his side, making him look away for a moment. “Now, I'm gonna open up this comfy-looking diaper, and get it under that bottom of yours.” I said gently but as a matter-of-factly, watching Michael nod from behind his pacifier. My strategy appeared to be working. Simply talking him through the process while keeping constant eye contact with him calmed Michael and kept him there with me, and while I couldn't possibly know what was going on inside of that little head of his, I didn't sense any discomfort. Slowly and in plain view of Michael, I gently opened the large diaper, smiling as I did so and commenting on how comfortable it looked and felt (it did!). Michael knew what to do, and quietly raised his legs and bottom, letting me slide the diaper beneath him. I heard him let out a deep but content sigh as his bottom landed on the diaper, making me giggle. “Awww, I guess it's really comfy, huh? It isn't even taped on yet and you're super happy!” I exclaimed, making Michael nod and giggle more. I then grabbed the baby powder, twisting the cap and gently puffing some out so I could smell it. “Ohhh, this smells very good! Does the itty bitty baby bear like a little bit of powder, or lots?” “L-lots, please.” Michael replied shyly from behind his pacifier, his speech only slighly muffled. With a smirk, I first sprinkled plenty of powder into the diaper itself, then gently put an arm under Micharl's legs (he helped lift as well to make it easier for me) and sprinkled even more onto his bare bottom, and finally, lowering his legs, I sprinkled a generous amount onto his crotch and manhood. He wiggled ever softly as the powder puffed against his more sensitive spots, making me smile even more. “Hmm I can tell someone really likes their baby powder!” I said, putting a finger to my face before closing up the powder and setting it aside. “Now, I'm gonna tape your diaper up all nice and snug, okay?” Once done, I slowly pulled the front of Michael's diaper up, gently holding it in place against him before reaching for the left side and taping it up, then doing the same for the right side. I took my time, too, as I wanted him to enjoy it. After all, based on what I'd read about some of his ideal scenarios, he liked his diaper changes to be a bit longer than usual. He must have enjoyed it, too, because his member slowly started getting hard. However, I didn't want to jump straight to the naughty fun with him; it'd be more fun to tease him slightly and build up to that point! I ran my fingers along the leg gatherings and the waistband of his diaper, checking to make sure he was snug, and once satisfied, I gave his diapered front a few soft pats. This made him wiggle, which only made him all the more adorable! “How's that feel, little man? All nice and comfy?” With a nod, Michael gently let out a “Thank you,” to which I responded by leaning forward and giving him a huge kiss on his forehead. “You were so good for your diaper change! I could just eat you up!” I gushed, making him smile more. Was he anxious? Nervous? Relaxed? He hadn't verbally communicated how he was feeling, but his physical signs showed me he still seemed okay. Much to my delight, Michael slowly sat up, his diaper crinkling loudly and paci still in mouth, and hugged me tight. His head made its way to my shoulder, his arms wrapped gently around me, nuzzling me softly. “A-awwww,” I said with a blush of my own, “you okay, itty bitty baby bear?” He nodded quietly. “Is someone being shy?” He nodded again, hugging me a little more tightly. “Adorable!” I cooed, kissing him again. “I think someone's feeling a bit cuddly and affectionate, huh?” “U-uh huh.” Michael quietly responded. He was there, in his space! Maybe not to the full extent yet, but we had our feet in the door, at least! “Well then, good thing your babysitter knows how to make cute baby boys feel so safe and comfy! I just might need your help in showing or telling me what you want,” I said, gently guiding Michael's face so he was looking at me, “can you do that for me?” He nodded once more, a big smile hiding from behind the pacifier. He suckled it ever softly, before gently taking it out so he could speak. “I want,” he paused for a moment, “sorry, I don't usually talk much when I'm...” “Awww, I see. A quiet baby?” I cooed, making Michael nod and blush even harder. “It's okay. Take your time!” “I know I'm a bit bigger than you are, but I want to cuddle up either in your lap with my head on your shoulder,” Michael paused once more, “and maybe have my back scratched, or my hair played with, or um...my diaper patted a bit? Please?” “Oh, my,” I gasped, “you even said please! Such good manners! And I think we can manage that! Wanna cuddle here in your room? On the couch?” “Couch, please.” With a nod, I first gently popped the pacifier back into Michael's mouth, then stood up from his bed, helping him get to his feet. Keeping him close to me, I then kept one of my hands in his, while the other stayed on his back, telling him how proud I was of him for being so brave and so calm during his diapering. When we got to the couch, I propped a pillow between me and the one end so it'd be more comfy for Michael to cuddle in my lap. Yes, he was a bit bigger than I was, but it didn't mean we couldn't make it work! Michael first sat in the middle of the couch, and as soon as I sat next to him, I gently patted my lap with a quiet, “C'mere, baby boy.” He blushed so hard, smiling wide at the same time, before gently climbing into my lap, his back propped up by the pillow. He curled up into a rather small ball, settling his head against the crook of my shoulder and arm, as his legs just barely hung over my lap and onto the rest of the couch. He looked at me, probably to make sure he wasn't crushing me, but to be honest, I didn't feel any discomfort at all. In fact, it was actually one of the most comfortable cuddling positions I'd experienced with a guy. “I'm okay, little guy. You comfy?” “Mhmm.” he quietly replied. “Good. Now, just suckle your pacifier and relax, okay? We can stay like this for a while...unless I decide it's time to feed you.” I mentioned with a smirk, further cementing the idea that this wasn't entirely his show. He nodded and blushed, and my one hand found its way to his head, playing with his hair ever gently, and occasionally switching to scratching his back and arms. Judging by how relaxed and how many happy sighs I heard from Michael, he really enjoyed it. This only made me giggle and smile more, my other hand running down his legs and lower back, making sure my fingers brushed against his diaper at the same time. I noticed whenever I did this, Michael wiggled. It didn't take long to put two and two together: he did mention he liked how a diaper felt against him, so I'm sure a soft, gentle hand on it only made it that much better. My curiosity only growing, each time I went to his lower back with my hand, I would run my palm further down the outside of the back of his diaper, making Michael blush and wiggle more, his suckling growing ever steadier. I couldn't get over how relaxed, how happy, how cute, how...just everything positive, Michael looked, sitting there in my lap in his diaper and sucking on his pacifier. “Such a good baby I'm taking care of this evening! No fusses, no cries, no complaints. I love it!” I sang. This made Michael curl up even further than I thought possible, and that's exactly what I wanted. As he curled up more, I used my other hand to find its way under his legs, to the bottom of his diaper, giving it a few soft, crinkly pats. With each pat, Michael leaned into me even further and wiggled more, his head resting on my chest. The smell of baby powder slowly filled the room as well, making me giggle. We sat that way, him cuddled up close to me, with my hands caressing him, playing with his hair, patting his diaper—the whole nine yards—for at least 45 minutes. There wasn't much said in that time, but I was overwhelmed by how something so simple made Michael so happy, and how happy it made me feel, knowing I was contributing to that happiness. I'm not gonna lie, either. I felt myself getting a bit turned on by having this grown man melting in my arms. “How's my itty bitty baby bear feeling?” I asked, my fingers softly caressing Michael's cheek. “Good.” he replied with a huge smile. “That's what I like to hear!” I giggled, gently tickling Michael under his chin, making him giggle like crazy. I then went for his sides, making him giggle and wiggle quite a bit in my arms. He was ticklish! I kept that little fact in the back of my brain for the time being, but continued teasing him about it. “Uh ohhhh...do I have a wiggle worm on my hands? Hm? Is someone ticklish?” “Y-yessss!” he replied and burst into more giggles as my hands scritched his legs, his tummy, and his sides. “Is that so?” I laughed, gently lifting Michael's shirt, before blowing the biggest raspberry I could. “N-nooo! Ack!” he giggled and smiled, catching his breath after my mini barrage of tickles. “Hmmm, I think it's safe to say all that tickling got someone a little thirsty! We better get you something to drink.” Michael blushed a bit, probably not sure what kind of “thirsty” I was referring to. I definitely wanted to explore some of his wildest fantasies with him, but I still wanted to bring more of little Michael out. “Where do you keep your bottles? Can you tell Miss Erica that?” as I asked this, I gave Michael a little bounce. “U-um, hehe,” Michael giggled as he bounced, his diaper crinkling once more, “in the same tote.” “And what would you like to drink?” “Can I have peach-flavored water, please? It's carbonated but doesn't cause any problems in a bottle.” “I think we can manage that. You wait right here, and I'll get your bottle ready.” I instructed, kissing Michael on the nose. He kissed me back, nodding shyly as he slid out of my lap and plopped himself down on the couch. I then got up, slowly making my way to his bedroom to get the bottle. Before I left the living room, however, I leaned back over Michael and kissed his cheeks, then removed his pacifier and kissed his lips. “You doing okay so far?” I whispered. “Surprisingly, yes.” he whispered back. “Good. The fun has only started.” With a wink, I resumed my task, having no issue finding not one, not two, but three bottles in the tote stashed in Michael's closet. All of them were roughly the same size, but one had giraffes on it, one had bears hanging onto a bunch of balloons, and the last one was plain but had a greenish hue to it. I opted for the giraffe bottle this time, only because I noticed the nipple seemed a little bit bigger than the rest. That'd make it easier for Michael to drink, which meant it'd be easier for me to...nah, I won't spoil it. I re-entered the living room, finding Michael still on the couch, smiling when he saw me. I'll admit that I liked the fact that he didn't cry, or didn't toddle off or seem to be the type to hit. In fact, while filling his bottle with sparkling water, I started putting some more pieces together; he wanted to be the center of attention, fawned over and gently teased and embarrassed Sure, he'd mentioned wanting to be playfully spanked in the past, but he never shed any light on being bad or being punished, and neither did anything that he'd posted online. Finished filling the bottle, I twisted the cap on tight, and made my way back to the couch, patting my lap once more. Michael eagerly climbed back in, propping himself up slightly, then reached for the bottle; he must've thought he was going to feed himself. “Ah, ah, ah,” I tsked, pulling the bottle away gently. “the baba's gonna slip and fall out of those little hands of yours if you try to feed yourself! Let Miss Erica feed you!” With a shy blush, Michael nodded, taking his pacifier out and setting it on the endtable. He put his head against my arm and shoulder once more, wiggling slightly as I slowly inched the nipple of the bottle towards his mouth, prolonging the anticipation. When he finally latched onto the nipple, his eyes smiled, if that makes any sense. He'd reached yet another level of happiness in such a tender moment with me. I gave him a little squeeze as I held the bottle up for him, watching as its contents slowly drained. “Someone's really thirsty, huh? Well that's okay. There's plenty in there,” I said, then changed my tone to a whisper, “and if someone is still thirsty after his bottle and behaves, we can either get you more of that yummy drink...or something else.” His eyes widened when I took one of his hands and gently put them on my left breast, making him blush and smile. It probably wasn't what he was expecting, but I wanted to give him the element of surprise. He must have liked it, too, because it wasn't long before his bottle was empty. “All done already? My, my!” I chuckled, setting the empty bottle aside and sitting him up in my lap. “W-wha-?” Michael asked, but stopped himself short when he felt my hand gently patting his back, his cheeks burning. “We can't have you all fussy with bubbles in your tummy, now can we? Can we?” I sang. “No, Miss Erica.” he replied shyly, giggling as the sound of the rhythmic patting filled the living room. I knew he probably wasn't going to actually burp, but spared no expense in the experience. And again, he didn't give any sign that he didn't want this. After about a minute of burping the little guy, I decided to check his diaper, knowing it wasn't used yet. I wanted to both see his reaction, and check to see if my naughty little comment from earlier had turned him on at all, since his diaper made it a little difficult for me to tell. “Guess we got all those bubbles out,” I said, gently leaning Michael back into a cuddling posiition, “but how's your diaper holding up, hmm?” My hand traced its way up Michael's arm, then slowly down his chest and tummy, and finally down to the front of his diaper. Once there, I gently pressed my palm against the thick padding, hearing it crinkling and finding it still dry. Even more interesting (and hot) was that Michael clearly did enjoy it, as I started to feel his member spring to life. I pretended not to notice, even though he clearly had to have felt my hand press against it through the diaper. Oh, but I wasn't done there. “Nothing there...” I cooed, before sitting him back up, this time leaning him forward so I could pull on the back of his diapered waistband, giving a few playful sniffs and being greeted with the smell of the baby powder I'd sprinkled all over him. Michael giggled quite furiously when I did this, shivering ever softly when I let the waistband go and gave him a playful pat. I took it even a step further. “Still clean for now, but I think after that bottle, that may not be the case pretty soon, huh?” He shook his head with a blush, suckling his paci a bit more as I put my hand back over his diapered crotch, leaving it there. “Now I know you're shy, itty bitty baby bear, but can you be brave enough to tell your babysitter when you need to wet your diaper? Hmm?” “Y-yes, Miss Erica.” Michael nodded, biting his lip softly. “It might take me a while to, you know, use it, especially if you're right near me.” “Ohh, that's true, but babies don't usually care where they are when they're filling their diapers, do they?” I winked. “But, why don't we make it a little easier? How full is your tummy? Do you think you could fit another baba of water in there?” I smirked. “U-uh huh, I think so.” he replied shyly. “Well then, we'll have one wet baby in no time!” I tilted my head with a smile, kissing his cheek and making him hide his face in my shoulder. “S-stop,” he giggled, “making me all red!” “Awww, does someone not like being all red?” I pouted. “I-I love it, but I still get very embarassed.” Michael admitted, looking back to me. “And I love seeing you blush! So, darn, cute!” I kissed him between each word, before motioning for him to climb off so I could grab another bottle. This time, I shook my bottom just a bit with each step, making sure Michael got a good view. I looked over my shoulder with a smirk, making sure to keep my eyes on him in between refilling the bottle with more sparkling water. Surprisingly, I was getting pretty turned on myself, in part because of how turned on Michael was getting, and in part because watching his timid reactions with pretty much anything I did to him was so satisfying. “Now,” I said as I plopped back down on the couch, “time for round two!” While Michael made his way back into my lap, I lovingly pulled him into position as well, further exhibiting my role in hopes of making him feel smaller. It worked, because I didn't have to position him or guide the nipple to his mouth the second time; he moved his head in just the right way, then latched onto the nipple while looking at me with more smiling eyes. “Such a good baby I'm taking care of! I can't wait to change that diaper of yours! Good thing we've got these thick, comfy diapers on you!” I teased further, watching Michael's cheeks turn an even darker shade of red. He had nowhere to hide, as he was stuck drinking from the bottle. My other hand caressed his back and diapered waistband, making him relax even further into my arms. He must have been eager to finish the bottle, as this one took much less time for him to empty than the first. “You took no time on that one! Goodness! You must have some big bubbles in there now!” I joked, before burping him once more, this time moving over on the couch a bit so I could put his head on my shoulder. Slipping further and further into his little world, Michael wiggled with each back pat, and much to my surprise (and probably his), he even managed to let the slighest burp out. I could tell he was nervous at first, since he immediately gasped, but I giggled and praised him, making him curl up and giggle as well. “Aww, see? This is why we burp you! Good job!” “Y-yeah, hehe. Thank you!” he chuckled, sighing happily. “What would you like to do now, mister?” “C-can we just watch a movie or something? I think it'll help take my mind off of,” he said before lowering his voice even more, “potty shy.” “Awwww, I think that's a great idea! We'll get you all relaxed, and when you need to go, just tug on my shirt, or tell me...” “Okay!” “...and then, when you do that, I'm either gonna watch you wet your diaper, or put you in my lap while you wet it, or just keep my hand right there on your little diaper when you go.” I raised my eyebrow mischievously. “Yo-you will?” “Oh, yes I will! I'm a good babysitter, but it doesn't mean I don't like to have fun!” I winked. “Plus, that's all part of behaving for me, and you already know what'll happen if you behave, don't you?” “I do...” Michael nodded and smiled shyly. “Good,” I cooed, placing his paci back into his mouth, “now, let's watch something!” When Michael and I were picking a movie, I noticed he didn't lean towards anything meant for a younger audience. When I asked him if he ever did, he told me that he didn't really do any of that kind of thing, like playing with toys, or watching litte kid shows. He pretty much liked to do most things that any adult would, even while in his little space. Honestly, that was fine with me, as was his choice in talking pretty normal when I was taking care of him. I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle baby-talk that I couldn't understand, or an adult crying like an actual baby, and I'd have communicated as such with him if he tried. But, he didn't. We opted for what we thought looked like a good monster film, but ended up being a bit of a drag. And yet, we ended up watching most of it. Michael didn't opt to stay cuddled in my lap, but instead placed his head on my lap and stomach while I played with his hair and gently traced my fingertips along his arms, chest, and stomach. I wanted to make him as relaxed as possible so he wouldn't back out of wetting his diaper for me. Don't ask me why, but my curiosity demanded to see and feel his reaction of wetting his diaper in front of me, and I would need to witness it for myself to be satisfied. That, and it was just another part of the experience that we'd have to get through together, since, if it were to work out in the long run, I'd want him to feel comfortable doing that around me. About three quarters of the way through the film, I noticed Michael squirming ever softly. At first, I thought nothing of it, but it wasn't long before he moved his legs around, and curled up, then stretched back out. I so badly wanted to ask him if he needed to use the bathroom, but I also wanted to see if he'd let me know what was wrong. He did, tugging a bit on my shirt, just as I'd instructed. With the movie still playing, I leaned down and whispered softly into his ear, “What is it, itty bitty baby bear?” “I have to, um, I need to...” Michael stammered. Had he never actually said the words aloud before? It wouldn't have been a surprise if he hadn't, as he did say nobody really explored the role in detail with him in the past. “It's okay,” I kissed his forehead, “just whisper it in my ear. I can't be a good babysitter and take care of you if I don't know what's wrong.” “I have to pee.” he said, looking up at me with embarrassed and slightly nervous eyes. “You do?” I gasped, still whispering, “How do you normally wet? Sitting down?” “U-um, sitting, sometimes slightly crouched down, sometimes standing, but never in front of someone else, so it might take me a while.” “I figured as much. And how bad do you have to go?” “Pretty bad, but I have a shy bladder.” “Then let's try something!” I sang, sitting myself down on the floor, using the couch as support for my back and opening my legs. I then patted the floor in front of me, making Michael tilt his head softly. It was time to catch him off guard once more. With a blush, he followed suit, and I instructed him to face forward, his back to me. I then put my arms around him and softly guided him so his head was resting just below my chest, the rest of his body in a lying position on the floor. “What-” “-shhh.” I hushed him, “Just relax. You know, for a monster movie, this isn't all that scary.” “Um, you're right. I know it's the guy's first movie he made, but it's pretty awful. The monster wasn't that creepy looking or anything.” “True...you know what the scariest monster of them all is, though?” “What's that?” “The tickle monster! Ahhh!” I playfully yelled in horror, mercilessly tickling Michael's armpits, chest, stomach, sides, legs, anywhere he was ticklish (which was everywhere, apparently). “He-heyyyy! That isn't fa-that's not fai- hahaha!” Michael giggled quite loudly, wiggling about the floor, again not kicking or flailing or doing anything to try to hurt me. Knowing he had to pee soon, I figured this would further help him along, and he played right into it. There were a few times where he playfully tried to escape, even at one point attempting to get up, but I grabbed his diapered wasitband with an, “Ah, ah, ahhh! Nobody escapes the tickle monster!” and gently pulled him back down, tickling him even more. “N-no, please! I'm gonna pee!” I then slowed my tickling down, easing up on him while putting one hand on his diapered front and the other gently circling around his stomach, leaning in and softly speaking. “Go ahead, then, baby. Wet your diaper for me. Let it alllll out into your diaper. Don't fight it! I can't change a clean diaper, and you'll make Miss Erica so very happy if you just relax and fill your diaper. Don't do it for you, don't do it for me...do it for us. Close your eyes, relax, and wet your diaper. I won't be mad, I won't be upset.” Looking down at him, I saw Michael bite his pacifier a bit, keeping his eyes closed as he listened to my tone of voice and my words. It took him a little bit of time, but finally, I could feel his diaper slowly warming, and hear the ever soft hissing sound of his pee hitting the inside of the diaper. He wiggled about quite uncomfortably at first, probably so embarassed to be doing such a thing, but this only made me coax him out even more. “Awwww, there you go! You're doing it! You're wetting your diaper! I bet your bladder's gonna feel so much better when you're all done.” He nodded quietly, as my hand gently rubbed back and forth on his warming diaper, feeling a more steady stream this time. My panties were getting rather warm and wet as well. I think being the one in charge, and watching Michael look so helpless, and...oddly, just feeling such a massive diaper on a grown man simply filling up so much...was so hot. I bit my lip as Michael finished wetting his diaper, keeping my palm right there and pressing on the wet diaper ever soflty. “A-all done.” Michael said. “Oh my, such a good little guy! You wet your diaper so much, and it didn't leak! These are some pretty good diapers!” I cooed, giving his crotch a few soft pats, making him shiver. “Hmmm, y-yeah they are.” he nodded and suckled his pacifier softly. “How does it feel? Or more importantly, how do you feel?” “I was nervous at first, but, talking to me like that made it so much easier, so thank you.” Michael said shyly, before leaning up and kissing me. “A-and I know I've said it before, but it feels pretty amazing.” This made me smirk, and I gently rubbed my palm and scritched my fingertips along the front of his squishy diaper once more, watching his reaction. He shivered again and sucked his pacifier even more. “Hehe,” I giggled, “I can tell, and from my perspective, this is pretty hot and enjoyable to watch and experience.” “Really?” he asked, a bit surprised. “Ohh yes.” I said, guiding Michael's hand to my own crotch, making him blush as he felt how wet I was. “Who'd have thought?” Michael chuckled. “It's hard to explain, but I'm not complaining!” I laughed, before smirking and rubbing my hand along his diaper once more, “guess I better check and change that diaper of yours, huh?” “If you want to!” he replied quickly and nervously, wiggling in response to my touch. “Of course I do! Besides, I read up on how much the itty bitty baby bear loves having his diapers checked and changed.” With a wink, I slowly got up, telling Michael to wait where he was. I hurried to his room, this time grabbing the fuzzy blanket, a fresh diaper, wipes, and powder from the tote, before heading back into the living room. “Ohh,” he said shyly, “you're gonna do it out here?” “Ohh yes, I am!” I sang, “is that a problem?” “Actually, it's um, something I've always imagined.” he blushed hard, giggling. “Hmm, guess this'll really make your dreams come true then, huh?” I raised an eyebrow, before unfolding and laying out the comfy blue blanket on the floor, instructing Michael to lay on it. He first grabbed a pillow for his head, then scooted over to the blanket, lying down on it, smiling up at me. I set the diaper supplies next to him, then opened his legs and knelt between them. Michael wiggled playfully and excitedly as I pulled my hair back with my hands and said, “Alright, let's check your diaper, little guy!” And check his diaper, I did! I lifted his shirt out of the way first, then took my sweet time checking him. I placed my hands over the front of his diaper, giving it a playful push and pat, making him suckle his pacifier more, then stuck my fingers in the leg gatherings to check. After that, I playfully lifted his legs (with his help once more), and leaned in to press my hand on his diapered bottom, even giving it another few sniffs, all while telling him what I was doing and if I was finding anything. Finally, I rolled him onto his tummy, his diapered butt and obviously wet diaper in plain view. I first pulled on the back and peered in, then brought my nose even closer to his diaper to sniff some more, and finally gave him three gentle but long pats and presses on his bottom, before rolling him onto his back. By that time, his member was pressing hard against his diaper, aching for release. “Well, looks like you're just wet, but it might definitely enough to warrant a diaper change! And aww, someone realllly likes his diaper checks, doesn't he? Doesn't he?” This teasing only made his member twitch more beneath his diaper, and Michael nodded shyly, his pacifier suckling increasing in speed. I knew how much he loved it, and remembered how he'd told me both a wet and dry diaper turned him on so much. Seeing how much I turned him on, only turned me on more as well, and I came up with another devious idea. “I was wrong about the diaper change, little man,” I giggled, licking my lips, “I think I'd like to see that diaper just a bit more full before we change you, and judging by how hard you are right now, I don't think it'll take long to do that.” I moved up towards where Michael's head was, then quickly undid my shirt and bra, before using part of his pillow to prop myself up. His eyes widened when I removed his pacifier and placed it on the blanket, and I leaned in to whisper, “I'm gonna let you do something that babysitters never let their charges do right now, because you're been so well-behaved this evening. But you can't tell anyone, okay?” “U-uh huh.” Michael replied, practically hypnotized. I first took Michael's hands and pressed them against my breasts, before sinking a a bit further down so they were within suckling range for him. “I want you to suckle from me, baby, and while you do, I'm gonna help you fill that diaper.” I said seductively. Michael only nodded, and without saying a word, leaned in and latched onto the nipple I guided towards his mouth. Just like last time, he didn't bite, but he suckled and licked in such a way that made me moan. As he did this, my hand first found its way back to the outside of his diaper, massaging and rubbing softly, his dick practically pushing its way through the plastic padding. Much to my surprise, as I moved my hand beneath his diaper to pleasure him more, he gently stopped suckling and said, “P-please, Miss Eric. Can you stay on the outside? It feels so good.” “I sure can,” I giggled, “and you just keep suckling, little man. Suckle and relax.” He nodded, going back to my nipple, both of us moaning softly as we pleasured each other. My rubbing of his diaper increased in speed, and so did Michael's suckling of my nipple. Michael then gently guided my hand, showing me what else he wanted. In addition to rubbing, it looked like he also enjoyed having his diaper patted, especially against his balls. I thought it might've hurt him, but the moans he gave out when he first showed me how to do this said otherwise. So, I did just that, alternating between long and fast rubs, and patting his diaper in various ways with my palm. His hips bucked against my hand movements, and his tongue danced around my nipple, making me bite my lip even harder. I switched him over to my other nipple, moaning even louder when his tongue found its way there. “Someone's turning his babysitter on quite a bit...yes he is!” I panted. “Oh, God...so hot...” he murmured between moans. “Now,” I whispered as my rubbing and patting increased, “be a good baby boy and cum your diapers. Suckle on your babysitter and cum your diapers. They'll catch alllll of the mess and then we'll change you. After all, you're just a helpless baby who doesn't know any better, isn't that right?” “Mmmm, uh huh...” he responded, his back arching with each pat and rub. “Go on! Suckle and cum, baby! Suckle and fill up your diapers! I want you to fill your diaper for me! You're turning me on so much!” With one loud gasp and big suckle on my nipple, Michael's body shook, his back arching one final time as I gave him one final pat, my palm feeling his cum paint the inside of his diaper. I didn't think somoene could actually release that much before, but it happened, and it was freaking hot! When he finished, Michael caught his breath, whispering about how amazing it was, before turning into a puddle on the blanket. “Ohh, good job filling your diapers for me. Such a good baby I'm babysitting!” I cooed with a giggle, making Michael smile widely. “That was....that was...” “Amazing for you? Hmmm, I can tell!” I ran my fingers through his hair. “And I'm sure someone's gonna need a diaper change pretty soon, huh?” “Y-yeah, it's pretty full.” he giggled with a blush. “I would imagine so! But,” I whispered, “your babysitter needs to be taken care of before she changes you. I'm already almost there, but not quite.” He understood exactly what I meant, smirking as he said, “Whatever I can do.” I then quickly took off my pants and panties, tossing them to the side before sidling back up to Michael, keeping my bare breasts exposed. “I want you to keep suckling me while you finger me.” I held up my left breast, and Michael sooon latched himself back on, swirling his tongue around and suckling in soft and hard motions, massaging my right breast with his one hand, as his fingers from his other hand slowly entered me, taking only moments before finding the most sensitive and pleasurable spots. “Mmm, good boy! Keep going, keep going.” I whispered, letting out small moans as my hands grabbed at Michael's diaper and ran through his hair. I don't know where he learned how to pleasure a woman, but I wasn't complaining, as the combination of his suckling and fingering didn't take long to get me off. That, and I was already pretty turned on by the past 15 minutes of events, anyway. Now I've cum plenty of times before, either by myself or by other guys, some enjoyable, some less than satisfying. But let me tell you: with Michael? Holy. Hell. I let out the biggest gasp, held onto him with both hands like I'd never held onto someone before, and shook as I finished, lying on the blanket next to him when I got back down from my moment of ecstacy. “H-how was that? Did I do good?” Michael asked, hearing me pant and cuddling up next to me. “Good is an understatement,” I giggled, catching my breath, “that was freaking amazing!” I kissed him on the lips before we cuddled up, Michael in his very wet diaper, and me naked, the two of us enjoying and processing what had just taken place. Something told me it was going to work out just fine between us. Michael shifted a little bit, his diaper crinkling and squishing ever softly, as the slightest scent of urine and baby powder hit my nose. “Let's stay like this for a couple more minutes,” I said, kissing Michael's cheeks and forehead, “then I'll give you a diaper change.”

It took me years to figure this all out, and I struggled a lot with fighting myself on "I love this" and "I hate this...what is wrong with me?!" I hope you find what you're looking for as you figure this and yourself out!

I'm glad you liked Chapter 11! It was honestly one of the tougher chapters for me to write, mostly because of how I needed it to set the scene for the rest of the book.

Hey everyone! I'm glad you've all been enjoying this! Chapter 11 is here! Haven't yet decided if I will end it at Chapter 12 or make Chapter 13, but I will say again that we're nearing the end of the story between Michael and Erica. I hope you enjoy. Chapter 11 You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell Michael that I loved him before he left, and how close I was to suggesting that he just stay with me for the weekend, or how much I wanted to tell him that I'd do my best to be the greatest caretaker he hoped to experience...but I felt it may not have been fair, given he was pretty emotional at the time. That, and I wasn't quite ready to take on the role yet. After all, being the research geek that I am, I needed some more time to prepare. I thought of and jotted down many different ideas that would most likely help Michael overcome his past trauma and bring us a little closer together. When we gamed together last time, he felt very close to me, and opened right up. How on Earth could I bring him to that safe space, while bringing out his other safe space and keeping him there? Going back to his fetish community page, I studied the hell out of any relevant posts I could find about his wants and needs, while also doing more research on the various types of caregivers that were out there. Clearly, he didn't like being degraded or treated meanly, but he apparently liked being teased within reason. He also said he did everything in his diapers. He also liked being coddled and occasionally cooed over, playfully forced into being diapered by what can only be best described as a mischievous but loving woman...so me, in a nutshell! Of course, this person also had to be more of a babysitter or mommy-type, and I knew I could fit the bill of either (hell, maybe both, if we were going to switch it up). Granted, I knew that reality doesn't always meet the expectations the fantasy sets, but it didn't mean it couldn't be enjoyable, or at least pretty darn close. I lurked around the fetish community board, digging deeper and deeper into the lifestyle as a whole, including how some people act while in “little space”, as they called it. Michael had previously told me that he fell somewhere between acting cutesy while also having the tendency of being turned on. Luckily, there was an entire forum thread strictly about that. Now you're probably dying to know what my little plan was for Michael. It was, in all respects, the riskiest, biggest gamble I'd ever taken in my life. This would make or break our relationship. You see, my plan was to have (or I guess, in this case, sort of force) Michael bring me to the aforementioned other safe space and let me stay there with him, showing him that I was okay with it, and that he'd be okay there with me. Sure, it was a bit of a rash decision, and sure, the risks were all there: maybe he'd downright refuse, maybe he'd like it at first and then get up and leave again, maybe I wouldn't be able to handle larger diaper changes or different behaviors Michael might have displayed. But, the reward, or at least, the possibility of the reward, far outweighed the risk. He'd overcome his fears, I'd be fully let in with no place else to go, and it'd show him how much I cared for his well-being. Anyone outside of the situation would've thought I was crazy, jumping right into a fetish that I had little to no experience in, but it did sound like it'd be fun, and it wasn't too difficult for me to grasp the general concept: Michael, a man, likes and wants to be treated in certain babyish ways, by someone like me, a woman, and tends to get pretty turned on by the whole thing. I'd put my best game face on and keep the open mind I had been keeping all the way up to that point. I figured about two to three days would be perfect for us; we could take breaks from the diapers and stuff like that if needed, but could go back into it whenever we wanted. I wanted to explore every aspect of this as much as he wanted someone to participate with him in all of it (with some terms of my own, of course). But how would I convince him to understand that I wasn't doing this all for him, and that a lot of this had to do with my own curiosity and my own need to make the guy feel better? Unbeknownst to Michael, I'd researched for about four days, before and after work, and even on my lunch breaks. He and I had texted and even called each other a few times over those four days, but I told him nothing about my plan, and he really didn't ask if or when I'd be done thinking things over. That Wednesday night after work, I called Michael. “Oh, hey, Erica.” Michael answered after a couple of rings. “Michael McMichaleson,” I replied, making him laugh, “what's up?” “Just finishing up putting leftovers away. What about you?” “Well I was planning global domination, but a cup of coffee with white chocolate caramel creamer talked me down.” “I'm glad you chose not to begin global conquest this evening.” “Maybe on day...anyway, is this a good time to talk?” “Definitely. I don't have anything going on tonight.” Should I ask him to talk about this in person? I immediately second-guessed myself. Biting the bullet, I stuck with my gut and opted to do this over the phone. “Okay, good. I've done some thinking over the past few days, Michael. I'm glad you've been so patient and that we've been able to talk more since Saturday. And I'm really glad you opened up to me about what happened in the past.” “M-me, too. And I'm glad you gave me the chance to talk after I did something dumb.” He said shyly on the other end. “Same here. But, anyway,” I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before I continued, “I've thought about you, about me, and about where to go from here.” “A-and?” I think he thought this was the end, or that I'd tell him I didn't want to pursue the possibility of actually being with him. “And I'm about to ask something of you that I know will probably surprise you, maybe even scare you a bit, but I feel like this may really be the only way for us to see what happens. I promise I'm not gonna get mad with whatever you decide.” There was another long pause as I thought about how to put this. “I think it's time we put little Mikey in his diaper,” probably wouldn't have been a good approach, and neither would, “I'm coming over and diapering you for a two or three day binge so we can get through this together.” I just hoped that the powers that be, whatever they were, would help me say the right words. “Go on, I'm listening.” “I want to go all in on this with you for a little while.” “Like, you mean, all in as in boyfriend and girlfriend?” “No, as in I want you to be your full self with me, diapers, bottles, pacifiers, and all. Now before you even say anything or get nervous, just hear me out for a second, okay?” There was a brief moment of silence, but I'm guessing it was because he was so surprised by my idea. “Okay.” “You know I'm one of the most curious people on the planet, and if I don't satiate that curiosity, it drives me crazy. I know you've been treated very poorly in the past and that you've been trying to overcome your guilt and apprehensions about your fetish as a result of that bad experience. I think it would be beneficial for both of us to not coax it out, and to just take it head-on, together. Let me show you that I'm okay with you and who you are, and I'll let you show me that side of you that you desire to be when you're with someone you like.” “And you're sure it'll work?” “No,” I sighed, “I'm hopeful it'll work, and I know it's breaking some boundaries since we're not officially in a relationship together or anything. But, the way I see it, this is pretty new to me as far as experiencing it goes, and because you're still a bit nervous about doing this in front of someone, we can face it together. Might be a bit awkward at first, but I did some research-” “-of course you did!” Michael couldn't help but laugh. “-of course I did,” I chuckled back, “and while I may have never taken care of a grown man who likes being treated babyishly before, I think I've got the general idea down.” “A-and by all in, how, um, how far are we going?” “However far you go when you're itty bitty Michael...and maybe a bit further if there's something I'm curious about or want to try with you. Diapers and diaper changes, feedings, burpings, even the sexual side of things, certainly don't bother me. I'm very well-versed in babysitting, and you're so easy to tease and make blush that I'm really hopeful that it'll bring us even closer together. Just keep in mind that I may switch between a babysitter role and a mommy role, as I truly don't know which one I'm most comfortable with yet, even though both sound equally enjoyable.” “So pretty much, this is going to be a 'screw it, let's cut to the chase' method. But...what if it doesn't work out? What happens then?” Michael asked, a hint of uneasiness in his voice. “Then,” I sighed once more, “anything is possible, really. If we both enjoy this but we're not comfortable pursuing a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship together, then we could attempt to keep it strictly a friendship with the possibility of a side of the fetish involved. Or, we could remain just friends, and you can talk to me as much as you want or need about everything. However, there's always a chance that we may go our separate ways because it gets too awkward, even though I really don't foresee that happening. You've trusted me with so much already, and I can promise you a million times over that I will do nothing to make you feel out of place or insecure. In fact, I can promise that it'll be fun!” “I'll admit that it does sound fun, even if I'm still a little shy about it.” “Hey, I'm a little shy about it, too, but then again, so is the first time people do anything together, isn't it?” “You do have a point there.” “Just keep in mind that if you choose to go through with this, then there are only a few things I'm going to ask from you.” “Oh?” “Yes. The first is that you just tell me when you're not sure about something, even if if it's the slightest hint of uneasiness. We can talk through it, or try doing something else. No running this time, okay?” Michael agreed, and I continued. “The second is that while I've researched the heck out of this, and some of your fantasies are blatantly posted out there, I still may need a few cues from you as far as the type of personality you're looking for. So if you want me to be more teasing than nurturing, then tell me. However, the flip side to that is I may do the same with you. There may be things I want from you that I'll communicate with you as well.” “I can definitely do that. I'm curious to know what else you've researched, though.” “Hmm, I could spoil the surprise, but I won't.” “You're killin' me again.” Michael giggled, before continuing our conversation. “But in all seriousness, I understand. Anything else?” “Yes, and this one is the most important of them all. The third and final thing I'm going to ask from you, is that you trust me, and in return, I will trust you. This means you'll trust me that I'm okay with this, and I'll trust you that if you're going ahead with whatever part of you we're exploring, then you're okay with it. It's okay to be nervous, but if you're really not confident or think something it too much, then I don't want you to just pretend you're okay with it. We're exploring together. Again, this is if you even make the choice to go this route with me.” “I can agree to all of that, Erica. I promise. And you said two to three days? Like does that mean we'll be exploring the fetish for that long?” “To answer your first question: yes. That means you probably have to take a day off of work. Whether that's a Friday though Sunday deal or a Saturday through Monday deal, is up to you. I'm cool either way. And I'm also cool with wherever we are going to be doing this, so either my place or yours. To answer your second question: I don't imagine us being fully enveloped in it the entire time, but for as long as we want to or feel the need to. Doesn't mean we can't take breaks or play video games or go out to eat or anything if we need to get out for a bit. And no, that doesn't mean I'm expecting you to wear diapers outside of wherever we're doing this.” “Good to know. I can't say I've ever gone more than half a day wearing or doing anything, but that's usually because I get bored after a while of doing things on my own. And my place might be a bit more convenient for us since all of the stuff is there.” “I had a feeling that'd be the case,” I chuckled, “so...is that a yes, then? It's okay if it isn't, or if you need more time to think about it. Just remember that this is an us thing. Not just about you, and not just about me.” The 10 seconds of silence felt like an eternity. Would he back out? Would he need time to think about it? Would he agree to it and then not show up at all, leaving my obsessive curiosity to drive me crazy for months to come? Would this be the end of us altogether? Maybe he didn't trust me enough yet. For being so forthcoming, I didn't think I was (and certainly hoped I wasn't) being too harsh on the demands. Without any hesitation or uncertainty in his voice, Michael finally responded with an, “I'm in.” Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to answer yes without giving it more thought, let alone answering it so firmly! “Really? You're sure?” I asked. “Positive. I promise. You've done nothing to hurt me or wrong me, and I'll be cursing myself a hundred times over if I walk away and ask myself, 'what if...' forever.” This made me so terribly happy, and excited, and nervous (in a good way!). “I'm glad to hear that, Michael, and I promise this will be all sorts of fun, and exciting, and healing, all at the same time.” “I'll only ask something in return, and that is that, um, you don't get too impatient if I'm really shy at times. Like I'll tell you when I'm shy, but I may need some, um, cuddling, or just a hug and kiss, or...lots of hugs and kisses?” I wanted to jump through the phone and gush over him right then and there! So. Freakin'. Adorable! I'm sure he could hear the excitement in my voice, too, as I responded. “You'll be drowning in them when I'm done with you!” I smiled, making Michael giggle a bit. “But seriously, I promise I'll be as gentle and patient as possible whenever you're feeling shy or nervous.” “Thank you, Erica. I think this'll be something new and fun for both of us to explore.” “Oh, it definitely will be! I know it's Wednesday, did you want to plan it for this weekend, given we can both get the time off? We could always wait til' next weekend.” “I could probably get Monday off, so let's plan for this weekend, and if for some reason I can't, we'll push it to next weekend.” “Sounds good to me. I won't have any issue getting time off, as I rarely use my PTO. And thank you for keeping an open mind, Michael. I have a really good feeling about this.” “Good. And honestly, after hour talk last weekend, so do I. I'll let you know tomorrow if I can get the time off, Erica.” “Okay, great!” “I know!” Michael exclaimed, before giggling shyly once more. “Alright then, my dude,” I sang before caving in to letting a joke slip, “I'll hear from you tomorrow then. I can't wait to get the itty bitty baby bear to come out!” Based on Michael's timid laugh, I could tell he was blushing once more. We said our goodbyes, and would have to wait just a little longer before we'd know which weekend would work better. That was fine, however, as I wanted to get some things ready for the big event! You know, a new pair of silky blue panties and matching bra, some intoxicating perfume, maybe even a little something for the soon to be little Michael, just to further instill in him that I would be right there with him. After our phone call, I did exactly that, taking a quick drive to the local shopping plaza and picking up my items first. What did I get Michael, you ask? Why, a baby blue pacifier with...get this...a baby blue teddy bear on it! It was perfect! Granted, it may have been a little small for him, but I made sure the nipple was a little bigger to make it easier for him to keep it in. I had no doubt he'd love it and turn deep red just from the sight of it! Now we'd just have to put in our time off and wait. The next day, I took both the Monday and Friday of the following week off, letting my boss know I might cancel the request depending on what day my “appointment” was. It wasn't a problem, so I was guaranteed to get either day to work for the plan, and texted Michael immediately. It took him some time, but eventually, I got a text message back. “Awesome sauce! I got this Monday off! All systems go!” Michael's message read. “Please don't ever use the term 'awesome sauce' again! But woo-hoo!” “You're no fun,” he wrote back with an emoji sticking its tongue out, “but YES! Come over whenever you want this weekend.” I smirked as I read this, choosing to push my luck a little further. Maybe it was just my curiosity really nagging at me, or maybe it was that I wanted to see Michael again, or maybe it was that I was a bit eager to get the weekend started. I didn't know, and I didn't care. “Would you be opposed to me coming over Friday night?” I'd have been patient if he had turned me down, but still hoped he'd give us an extra night. “A little eager, aren't we?” he replied with a winking emoji, “But sure! I may be home a little later since I want to pick up some food and stuff, but that should be fine!” “Yay! I'll make it up to you, I promise. And remember, no backing out of this, or I'll kick your butt!” “There will be no backing out or kicking of butts this weekend! Except...maybe in a video game or two!” “Dork! I'll see you on Friday!” If you think a few days of having little to no contact with someone you frequently talked to was agonizing, try waiting one day before you're about to embark on a fun/scary/exciting/(insert other appropriate adjective here) adventure with someone you've grown rather fond of! Longest. Thursday. Ever. But, we made it, and after the 24 hours that felt like a week, Friday afternoon was here! When I got home from work, I hurriedly packed my things into a bag; clothing, new sexy lingerie and perfume, hygiene necessities, Michael's new adorable pacifier, all that fun stuff. This was it! The journey into the unknown that truly had no definitive outcome as of yet! Despite not being super religious, I still said a quick prayer, filled my head with all sorts of positive vibes, and started getting into the mindset that Michael was going to be under my care for the weekend, and he'd be experiencing one of the coolest babysitters (and possibly mommies) ever. Hey, call me conceited, but I have a proven track record with babysitting! Obviously with Michael, there'd be a few alterations, but nothing I thought I couldn't handle. When I got to Michael's place, I picked up the pace, walking faster from the car to his door, giving it a firm knock. The door opened pretty quickly, and Michael greeted me with a big smile, hug, and kiss. We squeezed each other a bit, and he let me in, before locking the door. One thing I noticed was that the blinds of his windows were all shut, most likely to keep things private. He was a smart cookie. “Talk about a long 24 hours!” Michael giggled, to which I nodded. “You're telling me. It's like Father Time knew this was going to happen and wanted to torture us for just a bit more!” “Most likely. I just hope the weekend doesn't go by as fast.” “Something tells me it won't! Oh! And,” I said, plopping my bag down and opening it, revealing the new game system I'd programmed a couple of weeks before, “I brought this. I think we need a little rematch.” “I won't go easy on you, this time!” “What? Don't tell me you did last time?!” I set the system back down before folding my arms. “Well, m-maybe at first! Didn't know what kinda gaming skill you had right away.” Michael replied meekly. “Ohhh really? Well, now you know.” I booped his nose playfully, making him blush. “That I do! Come on, you can bring your bag into my room.” With a nod, I carried my stuff and followed Michael to his bedroom, where he told me to just set my bag in the corner. Being sly, I crouched down and rifled through the bag, telling him I was just making sure I had everything I needed for the weekend. He told me we could just stop at the store if I forgot anything, but I told him I was all set, while secretly pulling the baby blue pacifier out and putting it in my front pocket. My shirt was long enough to conceal my pocket's contents, and Michael didn't seem to notice. When I stood back up, I turned to face Michael, motioning for him to come closer. He did so with a smile, blushing more as I opened my arms wide, wrapping them gently around him and giving him another big hug and kiss. “I'm glad you chose to do this with me, Michael. I know I said it on the phone, but it'll be okay, I promise. All of it will be okay. If you're scared, tell me. If you're happy, tell me. If you're excited, tell me...or I guess, you'll probably show me. I'll take good care of you.” I giggled. Michael chuckled shyly and nodded with a blush. “After last weekend, I'm much more calm about everything, even if I am just a tad bit nervous.” he admitted. “And that's okay! We will take our time. I've got some ideas to help through the initial awkwardness, too.” “Y-you do?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. “I do, I do,” I smiled, “but I won't tell you what they are right away, unless...you're ready. Are you ready?” “Ohh, right now?” “Yes, right now. You know I'm a curious woman, and you know how crazy it drives me. I want to see this side of you and what it does to you in the best-case scenario. Now, are you ready?” Michael leaned in and kissed me on the lips, before hugging me once more, whispering in my ear, “I'm ready.” Babysitter mode: activate! “Hmmm, is that so?” I whispered back. “Well, I don't know if you are ready, mister. From what I see, you're still in big boy attire. I can't babysit little Mikey if he's not in his diaper, now can I?” I smiled as I spoke to him, watching his cheeks burn so very red with embarrassment, making me smirk. He shook his head shyly, smiling big. Putting a hand on my hip, I took a quick step back, teasing him a bit more. “Well then, I guess babysitter Erica better make sure her little guy's all dressed up properly while he's under my care, huh?” Judging by how entranced Michael appeared, it looked like we were slipping into our roles pretty quickly. I continued to smile and kiss him between talking to him, the physical cues letting him know I was still okay with everything, and also to help me check on how he was doing. “Y-yes, Erica.” “Erica, or Miss Erica is fine, itty bitty bear, okay?” I cooed, eliciting a big nod and smile from Michael, “Now, I think it's time we get little man into his diaper!”

Fantastic work, my love! ❤️

Thank you kindly! ❤️ Chapter 11 is in the works!!

Thanks again, everyone, for the feedback! I really appreciate it and am glad you're all continuing to enjoy this! @theaspiringnothing5 - I am anticipating maybe 2 or 3 more chapters before this is finished. After that, I don't yet have another story planned. I have some ideas, just haven't started really running with them yet. I'll keep everyone posted, though. :)

I'm glad that you're all enjoying this so much. We are getting towards the final stretch of the story! Here is Chapter 10 for everyone! :) Chapter 10 Saturday morning. How on Earth would we approach this? Would Michael spill his guts and start talking about everything? Were we going to have to play some more games to ease some of the uneasiness and tension before diving head first into all of the “why's” from the previous week? Would there be shouting? A fight? Would this be the end-all to our adventure? I'm not really one to show my negative emotions all that well, normally opting to use sarcasm and humor as a means of hiding how I feel. And yet, the more I thought about it, the more upset and hurt I was by what Michael did. Even if I forgave him, at the time, I wasn't sure if it'd be something I'd get over for some time. What was to stop him from doing that again in the future? I promised myself that I wouldn't get too upset and that I'd try not to let my emotions slip through the cracks, but as we all know, some promises can't be kept. Before Michael showed up, I set up a fresh pot of coffee, but not because I was in the mood for it, but because I needed to hold onto something as a sort of distraction from what I presumed would be an uncomfortable conversation. Hell, maybe he wouldn't even show up. Maybe he'd just give up and walk away from it all and back out just like every other person I dealt with. Maybe he'd- My train of pessimistic thoughts was broken by a knock at the door. What time was it? Glancing at the clock, it was 9:45. Michael was early, but where the hell did my morning go? I got almost nothing done! Alright, I thought to myself, here goes... I took a deep breath before opening the door, and was greeted by Michael, a sort of sad smile on his face. “Hey, Erica.” he greeted. “Hey there. Long time no see. Come on in.” With a nod, Michael entered, gently removing his shoes before making his way further in. Had he kept them on, I may have figured he'd just go running out the door again. “Coffee? Water? Tea?” I offered. “Coffee, please.” With a nod, I grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, some French vanilla creamer, a small sugar bowl, and a spoon, bringing them all to the counter. I poured myself a cup first, then poured Michael one. He thanked me and started adding his cream and sugar, stirring it gently with the spoon before waiting for me to finish doing the same. Once done, I sat on the couch, placing my mug on a coaster that sat on the coffee table, Michael following suit. “So,” I started, right before sipping my coffee, “you're early.” “Yeah. Traffic wasn't bad this morning, and I didn't want to be late and make you think I wouldn't show up.” Kind of surprised you did.. I thought to myself, biting my tongue so not to get off on the wrong foot while thinking of a better way to say it. “Based on past experiences with people, I was half-expecting you not to.” I admitted. “I can't say I blame you. I was an idiot last weekend.” “Not to mention, very forgetful. You left your bag of baby stuff here. Although, it makes me wonder if subconsciously, you left it here knowing you'd have to come back to get it.” “Yeah, I um, I panicked, and wasn't thinking straight. In all honesty, I've never done anything like that before. And, I know I've said it earlier this week, and I'll probably keep saying it, but I am really sorry.” “And I'll forgive you, but understand that you've made me wonder what's stopping you from doing that again in the future.” “I can understand that.” Michael sighed. “You agreed to let me in and I told you that at any time, you could tell me if something was too much. Any time. I would've been totally cool if you backed out that night, as I was pretty surprised when you said you were ready.” “I jumped the gun, Erica. I really thought I was ready, but something...happened. Like, just this wave of doubt and self-conscious thoughts and flashbacks. I didn't know what to do. I thought running was a good idea, and I, and I...” he rambled, his rate of speech increasing with each explanation. Flashbacks? What? Had something happened to him previously? A traumatic experience? The ex-girlfriend? “Woah, woah, Michael,” I tried calming him, “deep breaths. Slow down. Let's try to sort this out, okay? Because I have some things from that night that confused me a lot, and I want to make sure I didn't do or say anything to hurt you.” “Okay,” he agreed, taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly, “I'll try. I'm just tense and annoyed with myself.” “I can tell, but nobody's yelling. It'll be okay, even if it is uncomfortable to talk about it. That's why I agreed to let you come over; so we could talk it over.” Michael nodded shyly, taking a few more deep breaths before looking at me. His lips quivered again, but he didn't cry. “Now,” I continued, “I've been nothing but honest with you, and I need you to be the same with me, okay?” Another nod from Michael. “Did I do anything last weekend to overstep my boundaries? Like were you uncomfortable sitting in my lap, or did you get upset when I caught a quick peek at you putting your diaper on?” “N-no. I mean, I had a feeling you'd probably end up seeing me put it on, even if it was by accident.” “Okay, well I'm not gonna lie,” I sighed, “I first caught a quick glimpse in the mirror as I was getting dressed. And, my curiosity did get the best of me, so I may have sort of kept peeking, so I'm sorry for that.” “It's okay, Erica. It was bound to happen, I guess.” So he wasn't mad about that. “So then that leads me to some other things, because I have to clear my conscience and it's been driving me crazy all week. You asked me last week if I was laughing at you. I will admit that I giggled, but I promise you here and now that it was not meant in a disrespectful way. You were in a cute looking diaper and I genuinely found you adorable. But if that was too much, then again, I'm sorry.” “No, Erica. None of this is your fault. Seriously, you didn't do anything to make me freak out like that.” For real? So he chose to not talk to me despite it not being my fault? Ohhh, no way would I let him off the hook that easily. I can get over most things pretty quickly, but this little stunt hurt me. “Well, while I'm glad to hear that, it would've been good to know like, five days ago, Michael. Do you understand how damaging silence is? I seriously thought I did something wrong because you either downright chose not to respond to me, or when you did, it was cryptic, one-word replies.” “I...I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.” I dug a little deeper, making sure to drive my point home. “I'm sure you didn't mean to,” I sighed, “but you did hurt me. You agreed to let me in, Michael. Things were going so well, and then you flew out of here. That hurt a lot. It made me think of all the other guys I've been with in the past, who just upped and left when they were done with me. I thought you and I might've been completely done for.” Would this get him to bust open and finally tell me what happened? My curiosity reached agonizing levels at that point, and I wanted...no, needed...to know what was going on through that little head of Michael's. “That isn't what I want!” Michael blurted out. “I didn't mean to-” You ever get to a point in dealing with someone where you just want to smack them? Not like a slap across the face, or anything hard to hurt them, but just a smack across the arm because you've reached your breaking point in getting them to answer you? Yeah, I was almost ready to do that with Michael. Maybe it was my lack of sleep that week, or my inability to figure him out, but I could only take so many, “I'm sorry” and “I didn't mean to” responses. “-then what is it that you want?” I asked in frustration, my voice filling the entire apartment. “What is it that you meant?! What happened last week?!” Michael's eyes widened, clearly shocked by my outburst, probably not realizing that a five foot ball of fun like myself could be so loud and outspoken. I'll admit I was a little surprised myself, as I rarely ever yell, but I also rarely ever invest my time and effort into other people like I did with Michael, and it had felt like it was all going to waste. “I'm sorry for yelling,” I sighed, “I haven't been sleeping a lot, I've been worrying about you, and I I'm still a bit hurt by everything. Please, for the sake of my sanity, just talk to me.” “I-I'll do my best to explain myself clearly.” Michael stammered, still looking a little nervous. At first, there was about a 2 minutes or so of either silence or sounds of what I thought were the beginning of a sentence, but stopped abruptly with a sigh from Michael. I could've been a jerk and rushed him to get an answer, but I figured whatever he had to tell me must've been hard to talk about. “So,” he finally began, “I'm sure while reading up on me, you probably saw some stuff about my last relationship. I never got into huge detail about it online, other than some of the basics, but it was pretty rough towards the end.” The one that had ended badly, according to his social media page. Even on the fetish site, he only mentioned bits and pieces of what had happened, but never got into full detail. “Rough how?” “One of my biggest weaknesses used to be giving people too many chances,” he explained, “and I was no different with Laura, as much as I shoulv'e been. She, um, well she knew about all the diaper stuff.” “And she was okay with it?” “Not quite. Like she said she wasn't okay with it in the least as far as participating in it with me, and pretty much asked me that I just not bring it up or not tell her when I partook in the lifestyle. Yet, she said she still wanted to be with me and said I was a great guy. Now I knew that'd mean I wouldn't have someone to take care of me or anything like that, but I had a clear conscience by telling her, and convinced myself that I'd be just fine with continuing on with this alone. And truthfully, while it would've been nice to have Laura participate, I respected her wishes.” “She never brought it up?” “Well, that's just it. She rarely did, and I really did my best not to mention anything about when I was wearing, or visiting the online community or anything. When she would mention it, there'd always be this hint of mockery in her voice,” Michael paused for a moment, before imitating who I assumed to be Laura, “saying stuff like, 'Did you do any of that baby stuff today?' or 'You're still into that stuff?', despite my telling her that this wasn't going anywhere.” She already sounded like a pretty terrible human being, but, people stay with people who aren't any good for them more often than not. “You didn't leave right then and there?” “In hindsight, I should have. But I didn't, because when I would tell her I was upset about it, she'd apologize, tell me she was kidding, then would make it up to me somehow; new game, cooking me something I liked, sex, whatever. Then, the fights got a little more intense. Some of it was related to money and me not wanting to move. Laura would lash out with some really nasty comments, we'd stop talking for a day or so, and then she'd come back, and apologize again. One time, she even accused me of cheating on her. 'Find some chick into that diaper stuff you like so much?' And I never cheated on her with anyone. I may have read a few stories and checked out a video here and there, but I never even thought of the idea of going behind her back with another woman.” Michael started tearing up a bit, but kept his composure as he took a deep breath. The guy was in an abusive relationship, no doubt, and this Laura chick wasn't exactly right in the head. “Please tell me you left at that point, Michael.” He shook his head with a grimace. “I told her we were through at that point, and that should've been my final straw, but, Laura came back one final time. Said she'd given the two of us a lot of thought and apologized, practically begged me to take her back, give her one more chance. Little did I know, her intentions weren't good in the least.” My heart sank. What did Laura do? My brain immediately tried figuring out what had happened. Did she beat him? Rob him blind? Show off her new boyfriend? The pain in Michael's eyes was apparent; either he wasn't quite over what happened, or it had truly defeated him. And yet, he continued. “Laura played on another weakness of mine. That...bit-I'm sorry, that wom-” he stopped himself, “-sorry, I don't like to say that word about other people.” “Say it, Michael. Get it off your chest.” “That...bitch...knew the one thing she could hold over my head, and I fell for it. When she first asked for one more chance, I downright refused. And when she promised she'd changed, I told her I didn't believe her. Then she told me she'd even let me start engaging in a little more of my fetish around her, as she promised to be more understanding. That hope I had, that she'd one day...that somebody would one day finally grant me that little bit of indulgence that made me happy, had me played like a harp, and I fell for it.” Blackmail? Had she recorded the conversation? Did she have someone spying on both of them to expose Michael's desires? “A-and?” I asked uneasily. “W-well, um,” tears started quietly falling from Michael's eyes, “so I agreed, not thinking anything poorly of the situation and trying to give her one more chance like an idiot. I thought maybe Laura wanted to wait until she was ready for me to start wearing in front of her, but she insisted, seductively, mind you, that she really wanted me to wear, as in she wanted to get started right away. I should've sensed that something was off, but no. I was too excited at the thought, so we made our way into my bedroom, getting a little frisky along the way. She eventually asked me to get a diaper out from wherever I kept them, so I did, and laid it out on the bed. I was then told to strip down, and lie on the diaper. Now she didn't really help put it on, claiming she just wanted to see me do it myself, but she sat next to me the whole time, and I seriously kept an eye on her to make sure there wasn't a phone camera in hand or anything like that. But, I, um, I taped the diaper up with Laura right next to me...” Michael started crying at that point, and I had a feeling that I knew what was coming next. “...and she told me to sit up, so I did. I thought maybe she'd truly been interested, maybe she'd, you know, kiss me, or cuddle me, or just try something, because we'd talked about it in the past when she'd initially said she had no real interest in it. She still knew what it was that I wanted, you know? But, um, no. Instead, in my most vulnerable moment, Laura looks over and says, 'I can't believe how ridiculous you look,' covering her mouth as she laughed. Got right into my safe space and...fucked it all up. Fucked me all up.” That bitch! That absolute, awful, disgusting, pitiful, stupid heartless, terrible bitch! Michael's cries became more noticeable as he continued. As upset as I was with him about what happened earlier, I now started to understand why he did what he did last week. It really had nothing to do with me, but with a truly awful past experience. “What did...what did you do?” I asked. “Quickly put my pants back on, straight-up called her a bitch, and we started arguing again. She said she wanted to see how stupid I was and that I should've known it wasn't gonna work out. I guess in her sick, twisted mind, it was her way of getting the last laugh. And I've been trying, Erica. I've been trying so hard, to get over it, and to not let it jade my hope, and to not let it keep me from letting anyone else in again. I told myself I was ready and that I could overcome my fears and accept myself on my own, not really needing to depend on anyone else to help me.” “Michael...” “Guess the flashback of what Laura did, in combination with me telling myself that I couldn't even be comfortable engaging in the lifestyle around someone like you without your help, made me think too much and feel like I wasn't ready. And, and I'm sorry for not telling you that sooner. I overestimated my confidence. Do you know how much less of a man Laura made me feel like when she did that? How long I beat myself up about this? And how I promised myself I'd overcome my insecurities with the lifestyle? And then I meet you, and you're so cool about everything, and I went and screwed that up, too.” So that was it, then. Traumatic past experience and an insecurity issue. If I were to successfully help him and stay in this with Michael, I'd have to possibly go outside of my own comfort zone and try some other ideas to get him to heal and be more comfortable with me and with himself. He'd just have to be willing. I pulled Michael into a hug, giving him a long (and probably much needed) squeeze, rubbing his back as he continued crying into my shoulder. “Michael, what Laura did was downright evil. She invaded your safe space and tortured you. That is not okay. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and maybe we should've talked about that more before we entered the rabbit hole together.” “Y-yeah, I guess I felt like even though you said you were cool if I wasn't comfortable with doing...whatever...that I was still letting you down, and letting myself down if I didn't try. And I should've told you. Last week just sent a shock through my system, you know? Both the memory of Laura laughing at me, and the sudden realization that I needed to rely on someone else, on you, to get me to where I can be right with myself.” Taking a risk, I chose to do something a bit drastic. I told Michael to wait a second, as I needed to pee (I did, but it could've waited, but still helped with my plan). He agreed, and I told him I'd be right back. After using the bathroom, I quietly went into my room, picking up Michael's backpack he'd left there from last time. Before even bringing it out to the living room, I unzipped it first, then made my way back out. “What are you-” he asked while rubbing his eyes. “-shh. Just watch.” I shushed. I sat back down next to him, plopping the backpack on my coffee table. Reaching in, I first grabbed a bottle and pacifier out of the bag, setting them next to the bag. “A bottle and pacifier,” I said, before reaching back into the backpack, pulling out more items and listing them off as I did so, “some adorable diapers, baby wipes, baby powder. This is part of who you are, Michael. This lifestyle is part of who you are, and nobody can truly take that away from you, except for you, even when some bitch named Laura does something awful to you. I am not Laura, okay? I'm not laughing at you, and I certainly have no intention of belittling or degrading you. All of this is part of you, and as I've said before, I'm okay with that. If you're not okay with that, or you're not okay with the fact that I'm okay with it, then we can't go any further with this. You need to be okay with it, and it's okay to lean on me for help, because that is what I offered you from the very beginning.” “S-so this isn't the end, then?” Michael asked. “I don't think so,” I admitted, “but I will say that I'm not sure where to go from here. I'll get over what happened last week eventually, especially knowing what I know now. But we need some time to think things over. If you really want to let me in, then we're in this together, or else it will never work out. If you're not sure, or you're not comfortable with that, then we don't have to bring it up anymore, or at least until you trust me more with it.” At that point, I already had an idea, albeit a drastic one, that Michael would hopefully agree to. But still, I needed a little more time to plan it out, and I didn't want to jump right back into Michael's little world right after a heart-wrenching moment. “I can respect that. And, please, just tell me if you think you don't want to move forward with me. Like if you don't want to pursue anything more than a friendship with me, just let me know, and I'll be okay with that. You've already been more than kind to me, Erica, and that is a rare thing these days.” “I will do that, if you promise me you will do the same. That, and if you promise that you won't scurry off like a scared kitten any more. Promise me right here.” “I promise.” Michael raised his right hand. With a smile, I leaned forward and kissed his forehead, making him blush. He then pulled me in for another hug, giving me a quiet, “Thank you.” We stayed like that for some time, and I could feel a weight off my chest (Michael's weight was probably a lot heavier than mine!). “I may need a few days to think, Michael, but don't think that means we can't talk or text or game. You're still an alright dude in my book.” Michael looked a little hurt, almost as if part of him thought that maybe we wouldn't work out. And hell, maybe we wouldn't. Maybe he'd want to stay as friends, or maybe he wouldn't like my dubious plan to get him to be comfortable with himself, seeing as it was way beyond anything I ever thought I'd be willing to do for someone, and way beyond something I thought Michael would be willing to try. But, to be honest, I didn't want to let him go. Something deep within me told me that, if I could help heal him, then it'd be the dawn of something amazing between the two of us. Maybe my chill vibes would rub off on him, and maybe he'd be more willing to accept himself, and me. “That sounds good. Take all the time you need, Erica. You've done so much for me already.” “And though you may not necessarily realize it yet, you've done a lot for me, Michael.” Michael packed up his backpack with a blush, put his shoes on, and gave me one more hug before leaving my apartment. It was time to outline and execute the plan to bring the Itty Bitty Baby Bear out of Michael.

Thank you! I'm really glad you like my work so much! While I don't yet have any other stories like these, I am planning on working on some more, and may be releasing a few of them as a bundle via Kindle down the road. :)

Thank you <3! Chapter 10 is in the works! :)

Thank you again for the kind words, as well as for your patience. Here is chapter 9. It is a little short, but I think it's paced pretty nicely. Chapter 9 You know what sucks? When you think you've got a good thing going on and it crumbles before you in the blink of an eye. You know what sucks worse? Having someone you talked/messaged/video chatted with every day, suddenly drop those conversations in exchange for short responses. It really makes you wonder if the other person is worth hanging onto, and makes you question if you did something wrong. That was my exact predicament with Michael. My heart ached for the guy, as I'd never seen anyone cry that much or look that hurt before. I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, talk it out with him...but no. What I assumed to be Michael's self-defense mechanism kicked in, pushing me away as he holed himself up in his shell. It made me question if I did anything to hurt him, and I analyzed the night a hundred times over to see if I could figure anything out. He asked if I laughed at him, which I didn't. I mean, I chuckled, but it was because he was cute! You know, when you see a cute baby, you instinctively talk all cutesy and coo over them and all that stuff that makes some people cringe? Did Michael feel like I pressured him into wearing a diaper in front of me? Was having him sit in my lap overkill? And what about how strange he got when he suddenly looked in the mirror? Maybe that was it. Maybe he saw himself in such a babyish outfit, with me in my normal clothing, and that set him off. I had no idea. Everything was a “maybe.” Even worse, he was silent on his social media page, as well as his fetish community board. I had nothing to go off of. The day after the incident, he didn't respond, and I figured that was fine. Some people need their space before coming around. Still, even a text or just something to let me know he needed said space would've been nice, as having been abandoned at the drop of a hat by guys in the past really made me fear the worst whenever an argument or unpleasant situation occurred. And still, I kept my patience. Days two and three, I sent Michael a couple of texts, telling him if I did something to upset him, that I was sorry. Hell, I even tried calling him, leaving him a voicemail to let him know I was still there and was just checking up on him, asking him to call me or let me know he was okay. With any normal guy, I'd have left by then, as I hate, hate, hate dead silence. It's so rude! And still, I kept my patience. By day five, I was ready to call it quits. Yes, I could've probably gone to his work to drop his backpack off and attempt to talk things through and salvage something from whatever it was that set Michael off, but honestly, I didn't feel it was my place to. And yes, Michael is most definitely a one of a kind guy, in most respects, and yes, he's gotten much better about actually talking to me when something's wrong. But at that point in time, how he chose to react to the situation made that part of him come off as if he were every other guy that I'd dealt with; stubborn, closed off, choosing not to give me a chance to talk. And still, I kept my patience. Giving it one final shot, I picked up my phone and called Michael. The phone rang four times before going to his voicemail. “Michael, this is only the four thousandth time I'm going to say this, but I hope you're okay. You have me legitimately worried about you. And you left your backpack here, you goof. I'm not sure what happened last week, but we need to talk about it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset with you right now, because you're ghosting me and sending me “ok” to my long-winded text messages. I don't want to play my bitch card, but I don't see any other way. If you want to talk, I want you to tell me, and not via text message. You will call me. It doesn't mean we have to talk right then and there, but we need to talk this through if you don't want to throw this all away. If I don't hear from you by Friday, I'll assume you're not interested and that I did something to upset you, and will drop your backpack off. You won't hear from me again. Sorry if that's rude, but, I care about you, and you don't get to be a jerk and think it's okay to give me the silent treatment. Talk to me. I'm here for you. Bye.” I ended the call and sighed in frustration, wondering if I said too much, or if he'd even listen to the damned thing. After a distracting and unproductive day at work on Thursday, I picked up some groceries. While getting in the car, my phone started ringing. It was Michael. Part of me wanted so badly to just let it to go voicemail out of spite, but there's no way my conscience would've let me get away with it. I did, however, let it ring three times before answering it. “Michael.” I said, opting not to give him a hello or a warm greeting of any kind. “Um, hey, Erica.” he replied, his voice still sounding quite down. There were so many things I wanted to say, most of which would've probably scared him away for good. I bit my tongue, thinking before responding. “I guess this means you want to talk.” “Ye-yes. I'm sorry for not answering you sooner. I needed some space and to try sorting myself out.” “I can respect that...but would it have killed you to just tell me that? I seriously thought something might've happened to you, or that you like, packed your bags and just moved away or something.” “I-I know. I'm sorry. I was scared, and just, just,” Michael sighed, “it's so hard to explain.” “And all you had to do was tell me you were scared, and we could've faced it together. You know I'm a very chill person to hang out with, and I wouldn't be spending time with you if I didn't like you. You're a one of a kind guy in most respects, Michael. But in this whole, 'I don't know what to do so I'm going to run away and make Erica think I don't like her' respect, you're just like everyone else.” “Yeah, it's my instinct to run. I'm...I'm trying to work on that, I promise. I just panicked and I feel like such an asshole. You've been nothing but kind to me and I was selfish.” “Well I'm glad you can see that and admit that, Michael. You had me worried sick, and I had and still have no idea what the hell is going on.” “That's...what I called about. I owe you an explanation, even if you might think it's a shitty one. And I totally understand if you're pissed off at me for doing what I did.” “I'd be lying if I said I wasn't annoyed, maybe even a little mad. But, you did call me. When, where, and how would you like to talk about all this?” “Well, in person, maybe tonight, either my place or yours?” “I'm not gonna lie, tonight probably won't work. I'm exhausted from barely sleeping this week, and I think it'd be better if we had more time than just a few hours to talk.” “Okay. Um, Saturday morning, I'm free.” “Saturday morning,then. You can come over, as you still have your backpack here. How about 10:00?” I offered. “That's perfect,” Michael paused, before I heard him start to cry a bit again, “thank you. And I'm sorry.” “Hey, hang in there,” I consoled him, “what happened, happened for a reason. I'm glad you're coming around to talk about it.” “Yeah. Well, um, I hope you have a good night, Erica. And thank you again.” I'm not usually a softy when it comes to people doing me wrong, but, as I've mentioned a hundred times before, Michael's a cutie, and he was (and is) worth it. I replied with a, “You're welcome, goofball. I'll see you in a couple of days. Goodnight.” Let me just reiterate again that this is not my style at all. At the risk of coming off as the victim, I have been burned by so many guys in the past. Some who I thought were pretty good people, who turned out to be playing the “nice guy game” so they could get sex. Others who, before I got more into my researching people, were dating other women while pursuing me. And, as mentioned before, being ghosted by guys for no apparent reason, sometimes with an “I'll call you tomorrow” attached to the end of the very last conversation with them. Do you know what the major difference between all of those experiences and this one with Michael was? Michael was genuine. Sure, he hid his lifestyle from the world, but it was something he struggled with, and something he chose to be open with me about (even if he did try running away). And in his voice, both that previous Friday night at my place and on the phone? He wasn't faking those cries or those tears. He was hurt, he was remorseful, and he knew he made a mistake and admitted to it. I was, and still am, tired of people acting all tough and macho all the time. It's pathetic and isn't genuine. That isn't to say that everyone should be more open about their feelings all the time, but it is to say that it's hard to find out who somebody really is when they're swapping masks all the time. Now, did that mean I'd take Michael back in with open arms, and we'd just delve right back into the naughty shenanigans? No, not at all. Why would I risk repeating what just happened? We'd need to get through his hurting and work on a way to bring him to a level comfortable enough to realize that he could feel safe around me. And I did have a bit of another plan that, when the timing was right, I'd execute and hopefully bring him back out of his comfort zone. Taking it a step further, while I wasn't ready to admit it to myself at that particular point in time, love makes us do some extraordinary things. Saturday morning would be proof of that. Stay tuned for Chapter 10, which I promise will be lengthier!