pajarita

Thank you all so much. I- wow, it actually feels overwhelmingly awesome to read all these. Less alone. You're all probably correct in that I should just be satisfied with the simple fact that the diapers incur such a strong positive response. Enjoy and not question. I guess I have an obsessive need to classify. Or to push myself, always wanting to discover the next thing. I also have a fascination/fear for the idea of falling into littlespace. Fascination because I enjoy subspace and altered states in general. Fear, I guess because I already feel so uniquely vulnerable when I play with these things. When I curl up with a blanket and paci and diaper, it sometimes can make me feel... I don't know. I don't know the words for it. Sensitive and different in brief flickers. But I immediately start analyzing it in a reel of self-reflection and yank myself out of it. I'm not the sort of person that's capable of letting go on my own, maybe. I'm not sure there was even a point to me writing all of that ?. I suppose it's just that I've had a while to accumulate lots of thoughts about it all and I'm just so glad to have a place for them. Thank you all again for the warm welcome!

Hi there. As I lie here cross-legged on the floor, clad in a damp Crinkles and about to watch Balto, it seems odd to me that writing this introduction to post (in a space that logically I know is safe) still makes my heart pound. Im a neurodiverse female in her twenties, and I am fairly new to this. A few months of stolen diaper-clad days here and there. Being a long-time internet erotica pervert, I've e read about ABDL. Never did I think I'd end up being interested enough to try it. And never EVER did I think I would react like this. The myriad visceral ways different facets of this whole thing makes my body react, the rainbows of neurochemical cascades it sets off. It was immediate. Entirely unexpected and humbling. I don't know how to classify myself. Or even what's really going on at all. I- when I wear them I oscillate between states of arousal and states of a zen-like peace. And maaaybe some states of, I guess, youngness. They make me feel safe. When I bought my first grocery store pack I bought a pacifier and bottle too. But I don't always use them when I'm wearing a diaper. I don't think I've reached a true little headspace. I don't know. I don't know what counts or not. I feel a lot of strange imposter syndrome doubts about that question, of how "little" or not I am at any given moment. And of course, I feel some anxiety over wondering whether my particular interest in any of this is a sign of psychological damage in me. Im just sort of rattling around on my own trying to figure out this somewhat overwhelming turn in myself and my interests. I feel like reaching out to others will be helpful, or maybe comforting. So, uh, that's me in a nutshell