Sarah_Hillcrest

i have recently broken my hand.... Writing is going to impossible for a few weeks, but I have many pages written. very slow to type with one hand. page 37 no clutter. It was a comfortable middle class home, a shrine to normality that Dakota was about to break. “Have you been running more, you’re looking kind of thin?” His Mom asked and gave him a glass of lemonade. “Thanks, yeah I’ve been running alot, look I wanted to talk to you guys about something.” “Sure what’s up,” his Dad said. Dakota took a deep breath and then dumped out his words, “I’ve always felt like I was a boy trapped in a girls… no a body trapped in a girl… no I’ve always felt I was born in the wrong body, like I should have been a girl. You know, like so I did some online research and I bought some medicine from an online pharmacy and I’m taking some drugs, Spiral and Estradiol, and Progesterone and when I’m finished transitioning I’m going to become a woman.” There was a long silence and his Dad started laughing. Both Dakota and his Mom looked at him in surprise. “Oh man Dakota, you had me going there.” “He’s not kidding Frank,” his Mom said. “Not kidding?” his Dad said. Dakota slowly shook his head and his Dad looked him over as if he hadn’t even noticed him yet. His expression turned dark and he got up and walked out of the room. “Dad…” Dakota said and stood but his Mom stopped him. “Just wait here,” she said and followed Frank. Dakota sat back down on the couch and fought back tears. Five minutes later he had decided to leave when his Mom came back. “It’s best he left,” she said. “What are you doing son? I could tell the moment you walked in here. If I just saw you somewhere…” “If you just saw me somewhere what?” Dakota asked. “I don’t think I could tell if you were a man or a woman, I’d think you were some kind of freak,” she said. “That’s exactly what I am,” Dakota said and began to tear up. “Then stop, stop taking whatever you’re taking, you don’t have to be a freak,” she said. “I’ve always been a freak, we all know it, I can’t stop,” Dakota said. “This is my fault, I should have done something,” she said.

page 36 *** “Please just one more time,” Dakota said. “OK, “You’ve always felt like your body didn’t match the gender you are inside. You did online research for years, and three months ago you ordered three drugs from an international online pharmacy, Spironolactone, Estradiol Valerate, and Progesterone.” Dakota repeated the monologue into the phone. “Good, you’re going to be fine,” Alex said. “I wish you were with me,” Dakota said. “I offered to come, but you didn’t want me too.” “I know, I’m stupid, OK, almost there, wish me luck,” “Good luck, and remember they’re your parents, they are required to love you,” Alex said. “Thanks,” Dakota put down his phone and watched his hometown come into view. *** Dakota’s Mom eyed her son curiously as he stood in the door, “Come on in,” she said. Dakota was wearing his now signature baggy athletic shorts, and hoodie even though it was 84 degrees. His father came in from the back with some dirt smudged on his work pants and invited everyone to the family room. “Hey there, going to have some good tomatoes this year,” his Dad said. “Your father’s been working in the garden. Can I get you a drink?” Dakota’s Mom asked. His Dad brushed off his pants and sat down in the recliner. “So how’s the ol’ post office going?” his Dad asked. “Same ol, same ol.” “Have they offered you full time yet, the benefits are really good.” “Not yet Dad.” Dakota looked around the familiar room, family portraits of him and his brother, photos of relatives, art prints of barns, old trucks, and bird dogs. And clean, so clean, no dust,

page 35 “You’re right it’s none of your business,” Dakota said. “OK, sorry,” Hank said and began to walk to his truck. “Hey, wait,” Dakota said and Hank turned around. “Yeah, I’m changing.” “What’s going on?” Hank said. “What does it look like,” Dakota said and lifted his baggy shirt to reveal the sports bra that just happened to perfectly match the accent color on his tights. “Yeah, but why?” Hank asked. Dakota decided to take his new truth for a test drive, “I’ve always felt like my gender didn’t match, you know, like I was in the wrong body. I did online research, and six months ago I started taking three drugs from an international online pharmacy, Spiral-lactate, Estradiall Valium, and Progressterone.” Hank looked wide eyed for a moment and then doubled over laughing. “What?” Dakota said. “You do realize I’m a pharmacist right?” Hank asked. “I guess I didn’t pronounce those right?” “Umm, no, and that wasn’t a very believable story. Look I don’t know what you’re up to, but if you trans-whatever that’s your business, but your running has gone to shit.” “Yeah, I know I’m hoping it improves once I stop changing,” “Yeah, this is so weird. Look if you really are buying hormones online you’re taking some big risks. It’s stupid as hell.” Hank said. “I have a friend helping me, she runs bloodwork so I keep leveled off.” Dakota replied. “I’m glad you’re doing what you feel like you need to do, but I hope you’re not making a mistake,” Hank said. “Just be careful.” Dakota felt a tear come to his eye, and wanted to hug his friend. After an awkward moment Hank stuck out his hand, “Sorry, I’ve never been big on hugs.”

You have made my day! Being mentioned in the same sentence as Sophie and Pudding is high praise. I know my writing is full of mistakes, I wish I was better at catching them. I go back and read each page before posting it, but often I read the mistakes as what I intend in my mind as I typed. We've seen Alex has a dominate side, but how far does it go?

Page 33 Dakota made a split decision and pulled his athletic shorts down and the panties he was wearing revealing the cute Goodnite for girls with butterflies printed all over it. “The accidents have kept happening, I’m wearing these all the time now.” Dakota said. “Those are for kids aren’t they?” Alex asked. “Yeah, but they fit me well enough, they’re super thin, and work really well, plus I think they are cute.” “So you needed some… better protection?” Alex said and pointed at the boxes. “Umm.. Yeah, these are leaking at night, and if I don’t go pee every hour I’ll have bad leaks.” “You should really go get checked out, there is something wrong, I don't’ see how hormones would cause incontinence,” Alex said. Dakota teetered for a moment, about to explain to her the entire truth, his sissy fetish, his diaper fetish, how he had wished to become incontinent for years, but the risk of losing Alex was too great. “Yeah, you’re right, but it's the same problem, I don’t have the money." “Well it’s going to be pretty expensive buying diapers for the rest of your life is’t it?” “Yeah… but what else can I do right now?” Dakota said. “I don’t know… I’m sorry, maybe once you stop changing you’ll have more control?” Dakota just shrugged, “Thank you for all your doing for me.” “We’re friends, and I’m happy to help, plus you make a really cute girl,” Alex said. Dakota had a sudden realization, “You’re a lesbian aren’t you?” “No shit Sherlock, it took you this long to figure it out?” “We haven’t really talked in over a year, and I just assumed you weren’t interested in dating during high school,” Dakota said. “I would have dated you, maybe… I thought you had potential,” Alex replied. “Are we dating now?” Dakota asked. “Nope, just friends,” Alex said and stepped closer to him. Dakota got nervous and took a step back. “Would you like to be dating?” Alex said while stepping forward. Page 34 “Umm… I’m not a gir….” Dakota’s words were cut off when Alex kissed him, she sucked in a mouthful of his air and took hold of him. He felt his knees go weak, and struggled to breath. Alex released him and he caught his breath, “Are you sure you’re not a girl?” she asked. “I don’t know what I am,” Dakota said. “You are my girlfriend,” She said and kissed him again. Dakota felt a twinging in his pants, he was growing hard. Their lips locked and time stood still, it could have been 5 minutes of 5 hours. Dakota’s hands worked their way to Alex’s breasts and he felt her inhale. Her hands worked their way to his small breasts and he melted into her. Eventually Dakota came up for air. He wanted whatever she would give him, but she smiled and let go of him. “Do you want to stay?” Dakota asked. “I have to work soon, I’ll call you tomorrow,” Alex said. “I’m going to talk to my parents tomorrow,” Dakota said. “I’m proud of you! We’ll talk tomorrow,” Alex said. Sunday June 2nd 2013 Dakota took a deep breath and got out of his car, he was wearing some of his new workout gear, ladies capri tights, a tight sports bra, and a very loose running top. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to dress feminine, but it was a cool morning and his legs were smooth. Plus he’d started thinking it would just very slowly begin adding girly things to his life, like the hands moving on a clock he would change but people wouldn’t notice, at least that’s what he thought. As he walked toward the gathered group of runners at the trail head, people waved and smiled and then did a double take, it wasn’t so much the women’s tights with their aqua blue side panels, though that didn’t help, he just looked different. “The Jazzercise class meets on Tuesdays,” Hank said to a round of chuckles. “I decided if I was going to run with the girls I’d dress like one,” Dakota said to more chuckles. When the run started he didn’t even try to keep up and stayed with the slower group. There were more opportunities for conversation, though not much more. Unlike last week Dakota had a good time, and didn’t get sick. Just like last week Hank hung around after the run and when they were alone he became serious. “Do you have boobs?” He asked. Dakota looked at him dumbfounded for a moment and Hank continued, “Look it’s none of my business, but we’ve been running together for awhile now and it’s obvious you’re changing.”

Page 31 “Boring,” “OK, here’s a nice floral top with a wide gathered neck and poofy short sleeves.,” Alex pushed the blouse up against Dakota, he kind of glanced around the store. “Relax, no one cares.” “I like it,” Dakota said. “Yeah, see the elastic and how it flares out. One of the issues is that you’re still kind of rectangular, so you need clothes that kind of fix that, give you a waist.” “Wow, where’d you learn all this?” Dakota asked. “It’s like girl 101, while you were playing Goldeneye we were reading fashion magazines.” Alex agreed that Dakota would feel more comfortable shopping in boy mode, though she tried to talk him into wearing Dawn’s clothes and some makeup. Instead Dakota was wearing a pair of plain athletic shorts, and a T-shirt he’d got from a 5K last summer, after consideration he’d opted for his bra, his boobs needed it and it kind of helped with the tenderness and swelling. It was too warm for his hoodie and he was very self conscious. The truth was he looked androgynous now, his hair and skin screamed girl, his face and body shape were more boy, but Alex was certain his body was changing in ways that seemed extreme for hormones. Dakota went to another row and kept looking, and his eyes went wide, he lifted up a shirt with Disney Princesses arranged in a heart, underneath it said, “Follow Your Dreams.” “You like that?” Alex asked. “It’s cute, and girly right?” Dakota said. He tossed it in his basket. “This is the Juniors section, but yeah it’s very girly,” Alex laughed. Dakota took his basket to the checkout, he had two tops, a pair of jeans and a pair of shorts. He wanted more but money was an issue. Alex bought a single plain top, and then the woman at the register rang up Dakota. “Aww, this is so cute, what a great deal,” she said holding up the Disney shirt. “OK Mam, that will be $58.64.” the cashier said. Dakota felt his cheeks grow warm and scanned his credit card, “Thanks,” he said in a soft girly voice as he took the bag. “First time mam’d?” Alex asked as they sat in his car. “Yeah, do I really look like a girl?” “Well, the way you’re dressed you could kind of go either way. So if you bought boys clothes she probably would have said sir,” Alex explained. Page 32 Dakota stared out the windshield for several seconds, “I’m going to go tell my parents tomorrow,” he said quietly. “That’s a good idea, do you want me to go with you?” she asked. “No, I think it will be best alone.” “OK, we need to make another shopping stop, and this one will be on me,” Alex said and directed Dakota to the Goodwill. Dakota went straight to the restroom, which was fortunately lockable from the inside and pulled down his athletic shorts and panties. His Goodnite had one little wet spot, he’d had a small accident at Ross, but his strategy of not drinking much and using the bathroom frequently was more or less working. He used the urinal and went back to shopping. Dakota was able to pick out alot more clothes with Goodwill’s prices, a couple dresses, some workout clothes, and even a lacey top with long bell sleeves. He tried stuff on in the fitting rooms since the ones at Goodwill didn’t have an attendant. He quickly realized that to everyone in the store he was seen as a girl and he just went with it, even using the soft and higher girl voice he was working on. They left the store with a big bag of clothes and headed back to Dakota’s apartment. “Thank you so much for today,” Dakota said as they walked up to his door. “No problem, hey looks like you’ve got some packages,” Alex said. Two big boxes with green lettering that said Medium, 3 packs of 12 were sitting in front of his door. Alex had spent some time drawing blood in long term care facilities and knew exactly what was in those boxes. Dakota went rigid, and stammered out a few un-intelligible words. “Dakota, are you all right.” “Yeah, umm, what are these boxes,” he said. Alex saw that handles on either side of the box were pushed in allowing the shiny plastic of the diaper packages on the inside to show. “These are cases of adult diapers, and according to the shipping label they are for you,” Alex said matter of factly. “Umm, yeah,” Dakota quickly opened the door and pulled the cases inside. “Look Dakota this is totally your personal business but if you want to talk about it I’m here,” Alex said.

Yep, and that part of the story is very close to autobiographical. Page 29 is what you want, this is the real you.” Dakota took a moment and posed, turned sideways and admired his ass. “I am pretty hot… This isn’t me though, this is just me when I’m horny,” he said back to the mirror. “You’re always horny, you’re pathetic, a failure as a man. Look at your tiny little dick, no wonder Amy had to find someone else to please her, but that’s all behind you. Now you can get what you really want!” Dakota said in his feminine voice. “Oh God, I’m losing it,” Dakota stepped into the shower. After cleaning up he decided to forgo diapers, or any form of protection for the day and focus on holding his bladder. He put on his bra, panties, some running shorts and his running shirt and went for a jog. Thirty minutes into his run he had to go hide behind some bushes and pee. As he returned home the driver of a passing truck whistled at him. After his run Dakota checked Fetlife and found he had several new messages, most of them junk, but he had a reply from DaddyDomSteve. From: DaddyDomSteve 38M Dom Glad you like the nursery, we’ve been working very hard on it for years. My wife and I enjoy taking care of ABDLs but love to take care of cuties like you. ABDL sitting is a side hustle for us, why not get paid to do something we enjoy, but if you ever wanted to come visit us there would be no charge. How’s it all going? We’ve been in this lifestyle for awhile so let me know if you have any questions, or just want to talk. Dakota didn’t hesitate and wrote a message. From: Lil_Wet_Princess 21MtF babygirl Wow, that is very kind of you. The honest answer is that it’s not going that well. My girlfriend left me, and for some reason I’m having accidents. I mean like actual accidents. I wet myself at a friend's house the other day and I actually wet the bed last night. I’m kind of freaking out about it. I can’t really afford good diapers and the cheap pull-ups I wear barely work. Dakota was surprised to see that DaddyDomSteve was typing a reply. DaddyDomSteve 38M Dom Oh wow, you’re really having accidents? I mean lots of ABDLs have “accidents” but not very many have real accidents. Either way you need to get some better diapers. Amazon wishlist is the way to go, I don’t think you’ll have any problem, and you can also put some cute stuff on there too. Make the list and share it on your profile with a message that you’ll be modeling and sending special thank you’s to anyone who gifts you. Page 30 My wife and our babygirl are both incontinent, my wife is incontinent from a health issue and our babygirl has been in diapers so long that she can’t go without them so we have lots of experience. I’m going to give you a tip. Put a case of Abena M4s in the amazon wishlist and I’ll send them too you. Go to Wal-Mart and buy a case of baby diapers, Wal-Mart brand or Luvs if you want to spend a little more. Its way easier to change out the stuffer and you can easily carry several in your bag. You can easily wear a single Abena all day as long as you change out the baby diaper after a few wettings. Hope you’re thinking about my offer to come visit. Dakota immediately wrote back. From: Lil_Wet_Princess 21MtF babygirl That is so nice of you, I can’t take that kind of charity from people though, but thanks for the tip, that sounds like a great idea. Not sure how I’m going to wear an Abena with a stuffer out in public though. DaddyDomSteve 38M Dom Trust me, you’ll be fine as long as you pick the right outfit. Jeans will hide it just fine, overalls or shortalls, dresses, skirts. Just don’t wear thin tight pants without covering them up and you’re all aces. Also it’s not charity, it’s all about the community. ABDLs help each other out. Anyway you’re working for these gifts. You’re going to be modeling your cute little ass in those diapers.so don’t feel bad. From: Lil_Wet_Princess 21MtF babygirl *blushes. I don’t know how cute my little ass is but I’ll take your word for it, I’ll make the wishlist. June 1st 2013 “Really, that top?” Alex asked. Dakota held up a lacey white blouse with long draping bell sleeves. “It’s pretty?” Dakota asked. “Honey, this is Ross Dress for Less, you’re buying clothes to wear, not to be Stevie Nicks’ backup singer.” “I love Stevie Nicks!” Dakota said. “Yes, every girl does, now put it back, here look at this practical hardworking lady shirt,” Alex said and held up an off white shirt with black buttons on the shoulders

page 28 “That’s enough,” Dakota’s Mom yelled while his brother laughed. Dakota fought back tears and pushed his brother out of the way on his way to the utility room. It happened again the next morning, and every morning the rest of the week. Eventually Dakota’s Dad found out and was upset as the mattress was now ruined. There was one sin in the Taylor household that stood above all other transgressions and that was causing money to be spent. Dakota stood in the hallway and eavesdropped as his parents discussed what to do. “The boy is just lazy, he doesn’t want to get up and pee so he pisses himself,” his Dad said. “I read some articles about it, and it doesn’t work like that, he has no idea it’s even happened until he wakes up,” his Mom replied. “Well that's fine but we’ve got to buy him another mattress now,” his Dad said. “Yeah, we’ll get a waterproof cover for it, they also make these pull on diapers for bedwetters so he wouldn’t soak his sheets and pajamas every night,” his Mom said. “We’ll buy the protector but I’m certainly not spending money on diapers for a seven year old, if he can’t learn to hold it or get up and go to the bathroom then he can wake up in his own piss every morning,” his Dad said. Dakota snuck back to his room and cried. That night his father replaced the dark yellow stained mattress and made a big deal about zipping it up in a protector, and then a bigger deal about placing a crinkly plastic sheet over that. “Now every time you get in your bed, or move around this sound will remind you that you have to get out of bed and go pee at night.” Fortunately the bedwetting stopped a few weeks later. Thursday May 30th 2013 Dakota was cold and pulled his blankets tight around him, but only felt colder and wetter. He sat up and bed and realized he was soaked. “What the hell,” he said as reached down and felt the bedwetter pull up he was wearing. It was wet but so was his sheets and nightgown. Dakota felt a wave of shame wash over him.. He had slept on his stomach and it had apparently just ran right out of the top of the too small child’s sized pull-up. Dakota felt like he was 7 years old again. It quickly balled up the sheets and his nightgown and padded to his washing and dropped them in. Then he tore off the wet Goodnite and tossed it. He felt a tear in his eye and walked to the bathroom, “I’m so fucking tired of crying all the time.” He shouted into the mirror. “Then why are you?” The voice that spoke was Dakota, but higher, softer with a melody that would be easily mistaken for a female voice. “Look at this, look at these tits, these are real, this

Page 27 Dakota forced himself out of his recliner and walked to his bedroom. He pulled his ruffled nightly up and looked at the dry goodnite he was wearing. Since his accident last Friday night he’d been wearing some kind of protection 24/7 but generally not using them. At the time he had bigger problems on his mind then accidentally wetting himself, but since then he’d been a bit more concerned. He was almost certain that he was peeing more often than normal. Even more concerning was the fact that his genitals were smaller. Alex had laid out the facts to him, he would have a harder time getting an erection, his balls would get smaller, and he would have smaller loads when he ejaculated, but she didn’t think it would have any effect on his bladder. She had chalked up his accident to stress. Despite being so tired, sleep didn’t come easily for Dakota. His mind was glowing with possibilities, DaddyDomSteve’s family was so interesting. It was like something he’d only dreamed, but eventually sleep shut his mind down. Dakota’s Family Home circa 1999 Dakota opened his eyes and felt panic. He’d done it again, he’d wet the bed. He was seven years old, and seven year olds weren’t supposed to wet the bed.. He rolled the sheets up and silently padded out of his room. His Mom was cooking breakfast and his Dad had thankfully already gone to work. Before he could get into the utility room his Mom saw him standing in the hallway in soaked and yellow stained tighty whities with a wad of sheets in his hand. “Oh Dakota, not again?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help it,” Dakota said. “You snuck a soda before bed didn’t you?” his Mom asked. “No… I,” Dakota’s mom quickly dashed back into the kitchen “I’ve got to finish cooking breakfast, throw those in the washing machine,” she said. “Did you wet the bed again?” Dakota’s little brother asked as he came down the hallway from his room. “Shut up!” Dakota said. “Mom, why does Dakota wet his bed even though he’s older than me?” “It’s not your brother's fault, it just happens,” his Mom answered. “You could get him some diapers,” he said.

Page 25 “Like clothes?” “Girl clothes you bimbo,” Alex laughed and Dakota considered his stash hidden away in the plastic tote. He tossed the clothes Amy left and the only feminine items he owned were a couple onesies, his ruffled nightgown, his bra and panty collection, and of course diapers. He shook his head no. “OK, we’re going to need to do some shopping, I've got a sold 20 years of being a girl you can draw upon.” “Do you realize you’re giddy,” Dakota said. “I’m just so happy to help my new girlfriend. When are you going to tell your parents?” Alex asked. “I don’t know, next weekend I guess, Sunday maybe, but I’m not going dressed up,” Dakota said. “Ahh, but you look so cute! Do you want me to come with you?” Alex asked. “No, I think it would be better if it was just me,” Dakota said. “Oh by the way, you should get a supply of those drugs I told you about, just to make your story better, that is you don’t already have them.” “You don’t believe me do you?” Dakota asked. “I told you it doesn’t matter, now lets talk about cute guys and cute clothes,” Alex said in a bubbly accent and then pointed her finger at her skull and pretended to pull the trigger. Page 26 Chapter 5 Wednesday May 29th 2013 Dakota had officially become a MtF Babygirl on Fetlife. A few horrible cell phone pictures of his budding little breasts and cute diapers had earned him hundreds of likes and dozens of messages. He changed his location from Antarctica to a nearby city and had many messages from people who wanted to meet up. Dakota checked his watch, it was 1AM but his finals were all done and he didn’t have to get up in the morning. He went to the kitchen for another can of diet coke and then settled into his recliner for another session of scrolling and reading messages. After a few minutes his eyes were starting to sag, but he only had a couple more new messages to check. From: xxBig_Stick74xx 30M Dom Hey sweetie, check out my pics, want to take a ride on my big stick? “Hmm, better reply,” Dakota said with a chuckle. From: Lil_Wet_Princess 21MtF babygirl Wow, 400 photos of your dick and every single one at a slightly different angle. I’m impressed. Dakota was not, he checked his last message before going to bed for the night. From: DaddyDomSteve 38M Dom Hey there Princess, love your pics. It looks like you’re just coming onto the scene. My wife and our babygirl are always on the lookout to welcome new cuties. We live together in a 24/7 dynamic. We’re not too far from you so if you’d ever like to come spend some time in our nursery we’d love to meet you. Dakota read the message again and then started looking through DaddyDomSteve’s pics, there were a few hundred. Most of the pictures were of his Nursery. It was a very cute, adult sized crib, adult sized changing table, and a closet full of cute ABDL and sissy clothes. Multiple stashes of adult diapers. Huge Disney princess stickers on the walls, everything was soft, pastel, ruffled and girly. It was like a sissy wonderland. There were also several pics of a girl in wet diapers, and occasionally other people caring for her but never her face. None of the pics had faces. From: Lil_Wet_Princess 21MtF babygirl Hey there, thanks for the message. Your nursery looks so cute, it’s amazing. So you and your wife like to take care of ABDLs? Thank you so much for the invitation. I will think about it.

My experience with Tunnel Plug. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B016VZ7IOS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1 This is the one I bought, it's way bigger than anything I've ever inserted. I couldn't get in the first few times I tried, and once ended up with a huge mess trying to get it in. Eventually I just worked in as far as I could get it closed my eyes and sat on it hard. I yelled and it popped in place. I had pooped that morning and figured I'd be fine, but I diapered up anyway. For the first several minutes I felt a strong need to push it out, relaxing makes it worse. Bearing down on it helped. Sometimes I would forget it was there though. I farted without any control, it was such a weird sensation, like I could feel the air move down and just pass right out with a slight noise. Eventually the farts stopped. In a couple hours I began smelling poop. I had no idea but I had been very slowly filling my diaper. It wasn't a huge mess though. I took off the diaper and yanked out the plug and... big mess, all over the place. Next I tried an enema before the plug then the tunnel stays open which makes the overall feeling much more comfortable. Next I plugged the hole with a small butt plug. It's possible to sit on the toliet and poop, though you have no control, it just very slowly oozes out the tube. With the plug in it's even more invasive feeling and gets uncomfortable though. It's interesting though and a very exciting experience it wear it and go about your day knowing your slowly loading your diaper and can't stop it.

LOL, I'm fully committed to this one page at a time thing, even if it does cut a sentence in half. I'm super glad you're enjoying it. Page 24 but a group of older teens were hanging out. Alex had to threaten Dakota to come in with her, but agreed to do the talking. Dakota was doing his best to look as female and inconspicuous as possible, he was holding his hands in front of him, keeping his shoulder dropped and trying to look at his feet as much as possible. One of the old coffee drinkers got behind him and he instinctively turned around, the old man grinned a big toothy smile and nodded. Dakota quickly turned back and took his ice cream from the guy behind the counter. “It was rude not to say thank you,” Alex said as they made their way to an isolated corner table. “It was rude to bring me here,” Dakota whispered. “Actually it really wasn’t, I would think you would realize how much I’m doing for you. Stop biting your fingernails,” Alex said as she dug into her McFlurry. Dakota yanked his finger out of his mouth. “Sorry, yeah, its just, this isn’t that big of a town, what if someone comes in?” “If your own parents came in, they wouldn’t notice you. But you’ve got to tell them, and I would say sooner than later.” “What do I say? I can’t tell them the truth, and if I just said that this was happening to me and I didn’t do it or ask for it, they’d have me in the hospital in an hour,” Dakota said. “Let's establish a new truth, you need to get a good consistent story. I did a little research and you’re going through a typical male to female transition, just faster than normal.” Alex put her spoon down and drew in close to Dakota. “You’ve always felt like your body didn’t match the gender you are inside. You did online research for years, and six months ago you ordered three drugs from an international online pharmacy, Spironolactone, Estradiol Valerate, and Progesterone. I noticed you were changing and have been helping you monitor your hormone levels and adjust dosages properly. In the future when you feel you could easily pass you are going to begin presenting as female.” “Jesus, OK… OK, that's the story. Can you write those drugs down for me?” Dakota asked. “Yes, by the way, do you have anything to wear?” Alex asked.

Page 23 “Is it that noticeable?” Dakota asked. “Yes, in the kitchen Leslie asked me if I knew what was up with you, she actually asked me if you were transitioning,” Alex said. Dakota looked down at his wet pants and asked, “would my hormones cause this?” “I don’t know, maybe, I’m not a doctor, it’s not that big of a deal, I’ve pee’d myself before, its alot easier for girls than boys.” “Great, would you give me some privacy then?” Dakota asked and Alex left him. A few minutes later he invited Alex back in. She did a double take, the baggy jeans and T-shirt had been hiding the new curves in Dakota’s figure. The boy was standing in front of her in a pair of jean shorts that lengthened his legs and a ribbed spaghetti strap top that hugged his small bosom. His hair was still a little short, but he had a trim waist, a tight little ass and milky soft skin with almost no body hair. Alex felt her mouth drop. “Well?” Dakota said. “Damn girl,” Alex said. “This is so stupid, I look like a freak,” Dakota said turned around. Alex took a moment to appreciate his backside before hugging him, “Dakota you look like a girl.” Dakota couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride and melted into Alex’s embrace. “I’m so glad we’re friends again,” he said. “Lets talk over ice cream,” Alex said. “Awesome, what kind do you have?” “I don’t have any ice cream, but McDonalds does,” Alex said with a huge grin. “No!, No way, I can’t do that.” Alex ignored him and began combing his hair. “Lets see, I’ve got an adorable hairband, a little mascara, tiny bit of eye shadow, oh and these cool fashion glasses. This is going to be so fun!” “Absolutely not!” Dakota said, putting his foot down. *** Dakota stood behind Alex at the counter and glanced up at the clock, it was a bit past midnight and the restaurant was mostly dead, a few old guys were drinking coffee, but a group of older

Page 22 “I don’t… I don’t see how,” Dakota stammered. “Well its going to be harder and harder to keep it hidden, people that don’t know you will probably assume you’re transgender, but you could get a buzz cut.” “I’m not getting a buzz cut,” Dakota said then he felt it, a sharp pain in his groin. His face contorted with surprise and just stood up so quickly the chair fell over. “Dakota whats wrong,” Alex yelled as the boy made a mad dash towards the bathroom and slammed the door. After a few minutes Alex went to the closed bathroom door, she could hear crying. “Whats wrong Dakota open the door?” “Do you have a hair dryer?” She heard Dakota meekly say. “I don’t know, somewhere in there?” Alex answered. “Where is it?” Dakota asked, but Alex had already had enough of being locked out of her own bathroom. She went to her utility drawer and got a tiny little screwdriver and unlocked the door. She saw Dakota sitting on the bathroom floor, trying to use his hoodie to dry his soaking wet jeans. “Why did you come in here?” “Because this is my bathroom and I was worried about you.” “Well as you can plainly see I’ve peed my pants,” Dakota said trying not to cry. “Yeah, honey, let me get you some clothes to wear, Alex said. “No, I’m sorry, I’ll just put a towel in my seat and go home,” Dakota said. Alex knew that Dakota’s idea was the smart and normal thing to do, but she wasn’t feeling normal, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. “That’s silly, just take those wet pants off, I’ll be right back.” “Alex wait,” Dakota yelled but she darted out of the bathroom. A few minutes later she was back. “OK, so I don’t really have anything that will fit but Dawn left some clothes here and I think you’re about the same size.” Alex said as she sat a couple folded items on the vanity. “You seriously want me to wear your sister’s clothes?” Dakota asked. “What do you think you’re going to do? You won’t go to the doctor, and you say you asked for this. If you can’t simply wear girls' clothes then you better go figure out why the hell you’re starting to look more like a girl than a boy.”

Thank You so much for the compliments and Loves! It means alot. Page 21 “Yeah, and your voice and mannerisms are spot on,” Nick replied. Dakota blushed, he hadn’t realized just how much into character he was getting. “I’ll see you guys next week,” Nick said as he made his way out. Leslie and Doug left a few minutes later. “So how have you been,” Alex asked. “Fine,” “We both know that's a lie,” Alex replied. “OK, so my girlfriend was cheating on me with a professional wrestler, I’m growing tits, and college bros at school are starting to make fun of me, or come on to me, I’m not sure.” “Wow, Brad’s a professional wrestler?” Alex asked. “Yeah, I mean like calling him professional is a stretch, but… How did you know his name was Brad?” “Dawn saw them at the club the other night, what happened with the college bros?” Dakota explained the situation in the library earlier. “That’s something girls just have to deal with, especially when they are alone.” “I'm not a girl.” Dakota said. “For how much longer though, you could easily pass right now with just a little mascara, hell your face is prettier than it usually is....” Alex said and stopped herself. “My face is prettier than it usually is?” Dakota laughed. Did Alex think he was pretty, they’d been friends since grade school, but always platonic. “Yeah, look there are some things you need to know, a girl alone is a target. Especially a young, pretty one. You’re just trying to study but neanderthal guys will assume that you need company,” Alex explained. Dakota squirmed in his chair, he’d needed to pee for a bit, but it wasn’t bad, and his mind was more worried about his long term problems. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do?” “Nope, hasn’t been on my mind at all,” Dakota replied. “Ha ha, seriously, have you called to make an appointment yet?” “No… I don’t think I’m going to.” “So are you going to come out then, tell everyone you’re a girl?”

Page 20 Friday May 25th 2013 Dakota was in the library studying for his microbiology finals when his phone chimed. Alex: Hey, you coming over to game tonight? Dakota: Yeah I guess. Alex: Cool, are you doing OK, how is your… stuff? Dakota: It’s 87 degrees today and I’m wearing a hoodie. Alex: Oh, they’re getting bigger? Do you want to talk? Dakota: Not really. Alex: OK, but I’m here for you, see you at 7PM. Dakota put his phone up and shuffled uncomfortably at the table, he had to go the bathroom again, he had gone less than an hour ago. On the way to the restroom he noticed that some college bros at a table across the room were watching him and laughing. This had been happening more frequently, people were giving him double takes, or long stares. In the restroom Dakota looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t shaved in a week and he saw no new hair growth on his face. His skin was so much smoother than it had been, and his face was starting to look fuller too.. Even the hair on his arms was lighter and thinner, and the hair on his chest and back seemed to be thinning out as well. He was torn in so many directions, fear of the changes he was going through, fascination at what was happening to his body, and elation that he was starting to look so much like a girl. He was knocked out of his reflection when the door opened and one of the college bros came in. As Dakota walked past him to the door the guy winked and smiled. Dakota gathered up his books and heard laughter as he left the library. *** “Wow man, you are getting so good at playing Kate,” Nick told Dakota as he was collecting his dice. No one paid any attention to him at work, just another afternoon sweeping, mopping, cleaning toilets and dusting, same old routine. Dakota found it comforting but he was really looking forward to the D&D session to take his mind off Amy and what he was going through. Most importantly though it was a chance to talk to Alex . Kate the thief was starting to develop into a very interesting character and the party was beginning to gel. “Thanks, it's fun having a bit of a villainous streak,” Dakota replied.

Page 19 “Why did you lie about it?” Amy asked, Dakota noticed Brad had stepped out of the front door, dressed in a monster energy sleeveless T shirt. “I don’t know, embarrassed I guess, but when I’m a hot slut maybe me and you and that fucktard over there can have a three way?” Dakota said. “You’re kidding right, I mean… ?” Amy asked. Dakota rolled his eyes, and pulled her key off his keychain. “I’d like my key back please, we’ll make arrangements to pick each other's stuff up sometime.” Amy shortly returned with her key and handed it to Dakota, “I am really sorry about this, but maybe its for the best you know, like ripping a bandaid off.” “Yeah, you’re probably right, better for everyone.” Dakota said. “All I left at your place are some clothes, you can have them, they might fit,” Amy said. “Hey, please don’t tell anyone about me.. Or my stuff,” Dakota said. “I know you probably don’t believe this but you mean so much to me. You probably saved my life…” Amy wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. “I really do love you, that's why I couldn’t break up with you. I know, I’m a piece of shit, but you don’t understand, maybe you will, hormones make you crazy you know, but I’ll never tell anyone about your stuff I promise,” Amy said. “Goodbye Amy,” Dakota said and He made it two blocks before pulling over and bawling like a baby. Eventually he made it home, he stripped off his clothes and laid in bed naked.. “Maybe I’ll wake up and this will all be a dream,” he said to himself. An hour later Dakota woke up, his small budding breasts were still on his chest, it was now 8PM. He got to his feet and pulled a plastic tub out of his closet. He felt like he deserved a pick me up so he pulled out one of the Unicorn diapers and taped it on. He then put on his pink unicorn onesie and sat down in front of his computer. He logged into fetlife and stared at the screen, he’d had an account on this website for awhile, but had never done more than lurk. By 10 PM Dakota had messaged 10 different people. ***

Both! I felt like Dakota would want to snap back at her for betraying him, it isn't his style to confrontational or attack. I think Dakota thought by coming out like that it would be like blaming her for what happened to him. It's something I've done before in arguments.

Page 17 “Fine you’re just a cross dresser, but maybe whatever the hell is going on with you is a blessing.” “Maybe it’s a curse?” Dakota said. “Look, we were friends once, I’d like to think we still are friends and I’d like to help you. If you decide not to see a doctor then I’ll run a test again for you in a month or so and see how you are doing, and if you need someone to talk to about it I’m here for you,” Dakota stood up and hugged Alex, “Thank you.” “Wow, the old you never hugged me,” “I’m sorry, I…,” Dakota stammered. “The old you didn’t apologize either, or cry, or really have any feelings.” Dakota laughed and they hugged again. Later that night back at her house Alex sat down at her computer and opened up a file called diary and began to type. I went by Dakota’s and gave him the test results I ran. He swears he is not taking mtf HRT, despite having perfect female hormones. He gave me some bizarre story about having his gender switched in a dream, which sounds like some lame Hentai game or something. I’m honestly worried about him, he’s in some deep denial. I’m going to help him as much as I can. Page 18 Chapter 4 Wednesday May 23rd 2013 Dakota used his key and opened up Amy’s door. “Ohhhh God, ohhhh!,” he heard Amy scream. “Amy are you alright, I’ve tried to call,” Dakota said and took a few more steps into the house. He looked left down the short hall into the open bedroom door and saw Amy bent over the bed, he could barely make out a naked man behind her. “Fuck Dakota, what the fuck are you doing here!” Amy yelled. The guy leaned forward and turned his head, he was muscled and tattooed, “Sup bro,” he said with a smile. Dakota stood there in shock, his chin began to quiver and he knew he was about to burst out in tears. He quickly turned and made for the door. “Wait Dakota,” Amy said. “You think he’d like to get in with us?” the tattooed guy asked. “Shut the fuck up Brad,” Amy shouted as she rolled off the bed and quickly yanked some shorts up her legs. She was pulling a T-shirt over head as she blew through the front door. Dakota was sitting in his car trying to calm his quivering chin and control his emotions.. “Dakota baby, open up.” “Leave me alone,” Dakota said between sobs. “I can’t do that, I’m so sorry,” Amy said, feeling tears on her face. “Why didn’t you just answer the phone, tell you were busy or something,” Dakota said. “I dropped my phone and broke it last night, and, oh I’ve fucked up, I’m so sorry,” “You know… I knew you were fucking around, I mean, you spend so much time going out, and stuff, I really knew, I just thought maybe you weren’t. “It’s just, I really love you, your…” Amy stopped. “I’m like your brother,” Dakota said. “Or sister maybe…” Amy said. Dakota looked up at her and wiped some tears from his eyes. He smiled and said, “I lied, I’m taking hormones, I’m getting a boob job, I might even get my dick snipped off,” he said.

Page 15 Alex blew past Dakota into his apartment like a hurricane, her large work bag slapping the door frame and her smaller cross body purse jangling. She was still in her scrubs, and seemed a bit flustered. She tossed her bags on a chair and ran her hand through her short red hair. “I want you to be very honest, can you do that?” “Sure, what the hell is going on?” Dakota asked. “Are you taking hormones?” “Not this shit again, I just went through this with Amy yesterday.” “So you’re not on HRT?” “No, of course not.” “Are you taking some kind of pill, a drug, something?” “What are you talking about?” Dakota asked. Alex pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Dakota. “These are your test results, if you wanted to compete in sports as a woman you would qualify.” Dakota looked at the printout, it was covered with acronyms and numbers, little charts, none of it made any sense to him. “What the fuck does that mean?” “It means that hormonally you’re female, Estradiol, LH, FSH, Testosterone are all at perfect levels for a young woman.” “That's impossible, you messed up the test.” Alex dug a second sheet of paper out of her pocket, “That’s why I ran it again, and I can promise you that I didn’t mix up your blood either. Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to tell me, maybe you were born intersex?” Dakota fell onto his couch and felt his lips quiver, “I’ve ruined everything,” he said and tried to keep from crying, but he couldn't’ hold back the tears. “You said you didn’t take anything?” “I didn’t, but I asked for this, I had a dream,” Dakota said. Alex sat down next to Dakota and hugged him tight, “just calm down, it’s going to be alright, tell me what happened.” It took Dakota a few minutes to settle down but he gave Alex a version of the dream. He couldn’t tell her about diapers, and didn’t elaborate on the type of party dress he Page 16 was wearing, but otherwise he explained the Tourist and the help it gave him with some genetic manipulation. Alex sat there for what felt like an eternity before finally answering, “You can’t tell anyone else, do you understand.” “You don’t believe me?” “It doesn’t matter what I believe, but if you tell Amy, your parents, and your doctor that an interdimensional ball of light turned you into a girl you’re going to be committed.” “What do I do then?” Alex took a long look at Dakota and stood up pacing in front of the couch.. “I guess you have two choices, you go to a doctor and just tell them this happened to you, get a thousand tests, and find out what's going on with your body, or you transition to female.” “I don’t have insurance, I don’t even have a doctor,” Dakota said. “That probably won’t matter, if they find out that your body is somehow producing…” Alex paused then she reached down and grabbed Dakota’s crotch through his shorts. “What the fuck!” “Sorry but I had to check, anyway, I think they’ll want to run alot more tests, see if the hormones are being naturally produced, if they are and your body is somehow going through some spontaneous gender change, well that would be medically impossible. They’d want to study you, figure it out you know.” “I do not want to be some freak, some lab rat, no way. I’m not going to do anything,” Dakota said. “Yeah I guess you could just try to hide it, but you said you asked for this, so why would you do that?” “I didn’t ask for this,” Dakota said and pointed to his chest. “In the dream the Tourist just said it was going to make it so I could wear the clothes I wanted to wear.” “That’s going to be the end result I imagine, look I told you I wasn’t transgender, that was bullshit. I think I am. I know I don’t want to be a woman, or at least I don’t feel like a woman, I think. I’m just saying I understand you, I know what its like to have dysphoria.” “I’m not transgender and I don’t have dysphoria,” Dakota swore.

Page 14 When Dakota arrived back at the parking lot most of the runners were gone, but Hank was there waiting for him, “Glad to see you didn’t die out there.” “I think I might have actually,” Dakota said. “Stomach huh?” “Yeah I got pretty sick.” “Well next time some old man gives you a hard time ignore him,” Hank said and slapped Dakota on the back. They talked a bit about sleep, food, and whatever else could have messed with Dakota but didn’t dare mention the fact that he seemed to be growing breasts. On the drive home Dakota felt tightness in his genitals, not that unusual, but still he reached into his shorts and began to feel around, his testicals and penis felt smaller, but that was just the cool morning air, the run, nothing to worry about. *** That evening Dakota was catching up on some netflix, he’d had a short conversation with Amy. She was going to spend the evening with her sister, which was fine with Dakota. A little after 7PM Alex sent a text. Alex: Are you at home? Dakota: Yeah, just chilling Alex: Are you alone? Dakota: Yeah. whats up? Alex: Text me your address, I’ll be right there Dakota: Location sent, whats wrong? Alex: BRT Dakota started biting his fingernails, it was a nervous habit he had managed to stop years ago, he ran to his room and took one last look at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a quality diaper and it was less than half full, a short babydoll ruffled nightgown, and his wig. Luckily he hadn’t felt like putting on makeup. He quickly changed clothes and removed the diaper and had a few minutes to spare before he heard a knock on the door.

What is so difficult about crayon stick figures, animals, and hearts? Have these companies every actually looked at a diaper? I'm personally in this to avoid adult things myself.

I've had many dreams where I need to go pee and go to the toliet, then wake up and realize I really need to go pee since I rarely wear diapers to bed. One time I was on vacation with my wife, staying in a cabin. I'd laid down on a big soft bearskin rug in front of a fireplace and fell asleep. In the dream I got up went to the bathroom and pee'd. I woke up peeing, but stopped it before more than a small damp spot on the rug and wet shorts.

I think you're right. High T is a huge advantage for athletes though, even endurance athletes. That's why Testosterone is more controlled than Estradiol. I don't think low T for a couple weeks would have that dramatic effect, but it wouldn't help. In my story Dakota is not just dealing with low T, his actual genetic code was changed and his body is realigning to the new code so its in a weakened state. I don't think it works like that, that's why the tourist did some other sneaky stuff to him. I don't know... LOL.

Sunday Double Page 12 “Yeah, I’m a freak, why are you even with me?” Dakota asked between sobs. Amy had to think about that question for a second. It was a question she’d been thinking alot about actually. She knew they were growing apart. The truth was that Dakota had been there for her when she was in a really bad place. He had done so much for her, and she couldn’t just walk away from him, even though he was a freak. Just a year ago she was basically homeless. She had been couch surfing for a week, her messed up family life, and alcoholic mother had driven her out at nineteen. When she started dating Dakota he let her stay with him, but didn’t treat her like a whore, in fact sex wasn’t even a condition her her staying with him. When she came home early one night and found him watching TV in a diaper while sucking a pacifier she was stunned. She broke up with him immediately, but they talked later, it was this weird thing he liked, it had nothing to do with children. Still she found her own place, but continued to see Dakota. “You’re not a freak, you just have some weird hobbies. So if you didn’t take anything then your hormones are all messed up, you need to go get them checked,” Amy said as she slid her panties back up and slid her shirt over her head. “Alex is testing them for me.” “Whose Alex?” “Alexa, she goes by Alex now, she works at the lab in the hospital,” Dakota explained. “You need to see a freaking doctor, not some half ass lab technician. When did she take your blood?” “Yeah after gaming last night. She’s just saving me some money, I can take the test results to the doctor,” Dakota explained. “So your back into gaming now?” Amy asked. “So what if I am, it’s better then hanging out at bars all night,” “Yeah if your a fucking geek, and I don’t hang out at bars I hang out at clubs,” Amy said. She pulled her jeans on. She sat down next to Dakota and hugged him. “I’m sorry, if you want to play pretend with your nerdy friends that’s fine.” Dakota pulled back from the hug. “Why don’t you put your clothes on and we’ll go get lunch.” “Fine,” Dakota said. After getting dressed Amy stopped him. She went to his closet and came back with a black T-shirt. “Put this on top, your nipples are sticking out.” It was an awkward lunch. page 13 *** Dakota stood in front of the mirror in his running shorts and tank top. His nipples stuck out, and from the side you could almost see a tiny bit of his boob. He wasn’t sure but he thought they looked bigger than yesterday. He tried a synthetic running shirt, but his nipples still protruded. The solution was simple, bandaids. Dakota wasn’t into sports, but he liked running, and met a group every Sunday morning at 8. Over the course of a couple years he’d gone from barely going a mile to finishing the entire 6 mile course with the fast guys. Several small groups were standing around the trailhead, stretching, warming up, and talking smack as usual. “Good morning Princess,” Hank said as Dakota walked up to the group and several guys laughed. Hank was the closest thing that Dakota had to best friend, early in his running career Dakota had complained that the trail they ran Sunday morning was too tough and Hank had taken to calling him Princess. “I guess the nursing home let you out for the morning,” Dakota replied. Hank wasn’t exactly old at 52, but he was one of the oldest guys in the group. Despite near constant ribbing the truth was that the two had deep respect for eachother. Dakota needed a coach, and Hank needed a student. “God I love these Spring days,” Hank said as he took a deep breath and looked around at the tall pines surrounding the parking lot. Soon they were off, starting at just a mild trot, following a well worn graveled trail as it wound its way up the hill and deeper into the woods. It’s funny, Dakota hated running in High School, and only took it up because he was gaining weight and feeling bad. Now he couldn’t imagine life without running, especially trail running. At first he was self conscious of his new chest, he could just barely feel the slight bounce of his tiny new beasts. In a couple minutes his mind was focused on the rhythm of his heart, and the contour of the trail. In 10 minutes Dakota realized something wasn’t right, his heart rate was higher than it should be, he couldn’t fully catch his breath, his legs burned more than they should. He slowed his pace and let the front group slip away, then he started walking and watched the second group of guys run past. He kept pace with the third group, mostly women, but a few guys as well. At two miles they turned around and not long after they were passed by the front group. “Not feeling it today?” Hank asked. “Yeah, not sure whats up,” Dakota replied. “Well pull up your princess pants and try to keep up,” Hank gave Dakota a playful push and sped up to rejoin the front. Dakota knew he shouldn’t, but he kept pace with Hank anyway. Five minutes later he was doubled over on the side of the trail throwing up. The ladies group stopped but he waved them on.