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Over my life, I've always had good food, clean water, a nice home, nice clothes (and whatever style i want)...the ability to do almost anything i want... The long and short of it is, besides an early birth, occasional accidents at night, slight hearing problems, I've never really had anything to worry about. I even have an amazing boyfriend that loves me and is completely ok with my dl side.... So. Why do i always still feel so drained, lost, depressed, hopeless..just. So empty? Maybe this is just to vent, but lately, I've just been feeling worse. As a paramedic, i feel like I'm supposed to be the person helping others and I'm not allowed to feel like this... In the past, I've had to go to the hospital for physical self injury and overdosing. Not something I'm proud of at all, but I've almost succeeded twice and would have if i wouldn't have let myself make rash decisions and do things places where i was easily found... Now in November, I'm coming up on the date when i was raped when i was 12 (maybe this is too much information for this site....) And my stress, depression, guilt, and just general fear are pushing me to a breaking point... I've never been on meds because I've never talked to a doctor about this. I've been prescribed them, but both of my attempts were after i moved out, and i wasn't prepared to pay for meds and continued doctor visits. I feel likea site like this is the only place i won't feel judged. I don't want to talk to a therapist or a friend, and have to see the sympathy in their eyes. I don't want to put it on face book and be called an attention seeker. I don't want a lot of fake, generic sympathy from Facebook. I just want to hear from those of you who share in one of the biggest parts of my life...that really makes me who i am... I don't want to be this ready to die yet.. :/ I really hope i don't scare or bother anyone...I'm really just trying to find a way to put my deepest life problems out there constructively instead of destructively... Thanks to everyone who actually takes the time to read this jumbled pile of nonsense..

I would like to tell all these people here to grow up, wearing a decent diaper isn't the end of the world and it doesn't make you a baby. Okay I wouldn't tell my own friends or people I like to "grow up" because I would be nicer about it. Telling someone to grow up is just something you say to someone you don't like or care about nor care if they like you or not and if you don't care for them as friends so you wouldn't care if they dumped you or not. But it just gets frustrating to see someone not accept their condition and refuse to wear a decent diaper and let it run their lives. I guess when you are a DL or an AB, you accept it better. I am sure there are incontinent people, such as on that one IC forum I've read, they accept it and are mature about it. Plus I knew a man with IC who went to the old forum that was ran by Lil Vickie before she disappeared, who learned to accept his incontinence and he told me he had a hard time accepting it at first so he was trying to go to the bathroom every half hour and still had accidents and then he accepted the fact he needed diapers and he even went online to look for a better product and that was how he discovered us. he then thought he could learn to like his diapers so he went to the forum to cope with his condition better. But he still admitted if he had the option to give up diapers, he would in a heartbeat. He still didn't like them but he accepted it and lived his normal life.

I have to ask, was the original post edited? Because it clearly states how many and how much? I hate to believe some members are that dense and just looked at the pictures and title or something.

"What the hell?" Nathan shot up in bed, almost falling out. What did he have to drink last night? Certainly nothing to cause this. For that matter, where were his clothes? Had he gone commando and pantless? Getting up, he inspected the scene. Empty box of condoms by the bed, that'd be from when Sarah came by. Reminder to buy more, written not so subtly st the top of his calendar. Jeans by the side of the bed, underwear nowhere to be found. White sheets soaked yellow, blanket definitely needed washed. Fuck it, I've got a hangover too. How much did I drink last night, the whole six pack? Sheets could wait, he felt like shit. Pants on, an old stained Tshirt, sandals. To the bathroom, where he found a general lack of aspirin. Shit, no aspirin, no toothpaste either, next thing... Yup, the coffee pot was full of dirty water, he had put on the timer but there were no beans left. Looks line he's going shopping. Out the door, Nathan wasted no time driving to the gas station a few miles away. The sooner he got the day over, the better: this Saturday wasn't his best of late. Hopefully Sarah could come by later and that'd cheer him up. Pulling into the Speed-joint, he stuck the pump into his truck and filled up with premium, before shielding his eyes from the light as he walked into the shop. A bottles of aspirin, toothpaste, condoms. Coffers he would get somewhere else, maybe the Waffle Hut. Hell, he could afford it. The florescent light burned in his retinas as he waited between a short highschool girl and a fat mother with a crying baby. "Can I get eleventh fifty three in gas at pump four?" The woman asked, each wail of the baby pounding in Nathan's head. His nose inhaled sharply, the pungent odor of a messy diaper infiltrating the area, every one of his senses on assault. "I'm sorry ma'am, we only do whole dollar increments," the cashier droned. "But I need this much gas. Can you..." The womam argued. Back and forth. First too much was pressed in by the cashier, then not enough. Finally, Nathan snapped, his aching head overriding politeness. "Jesus fuckimg Christ, woman! It's fifty three god damned cents! And if you can't get your baby to shut the hell up, at least change it's shitty diaper!" All eyes quickly focused on him, his shouting causing quite a stir. "I would appreciative you not to swear around my baby boy, and I just changed Jimmy's diaper," the woman said, resentfully. What? "But... Who..." Nathan looked around, surprised, before noticing the girl behind him was bright red and carrying a stick if gum and a packaged of depends. He blushed, having not meant to embarrassing the young girl like that. "I'm so sorry," he said, to the woman and the girl. "Um... Put fifty dollars on her pump," he added, to the cashier. "Actually, scratch that. Fill up her tank, with premium." He could afford it, and she needed it. "I'm sorry, I'm just..." "Hung over?" The girl behind him asked. "Yeah, that." The woman shot him a strange look, stalking out of the store. "How'd you know?" "I've had my share if nights out," she replied. "Names Jackie, by the way. Waffle Hut next, I take it?"

Don - I'm not in your shoes, but from the outside looking in, you're handling this wrong. I'm not going to continue to post here because I don't want to seem like I'm attacking you. Please take this as just my experience... as an employee and a manager. The fact that you're now "playing games" with a third associate... and TWO MORE "witnesses"... that you have now told your manager that you won't reveal (i.e. "I won't follow procedure, I'm going to do my own thing my own way") sends her the signal that she's getting a very biased story from you that will cause her to doubt the validity of it, especially how "deep" it really is vs. you "just being emotional" about something she likely doesn't want to be involved in anyway - your [abnormal] sex life. At this point the common issue in every problem so far is you. She's already said she's not finding anything, which isn't surprising (that coworkers are lying) and now you have told her point blank you won't follow the process and help her. Take from that what you will - if I'm her, I now don't have the leg I need to stand on in terms of you not being a part of the problem and being able to trust what you say... I have to balance that against everyone else's story, which is never going to match yours. Good luck... and this really does suck. You have my sympathy there. At least you have the comfort and solace of a soft, snuggly diaper?

Squeak! I'm sort of an uncommon sight in the furry world. A rat and a diaperfur!

Thanks for all the compliments, guys. And SallyKAT, thats probably one of the nicest compliments I've ever recieved about a story I've written. Thanks to everyone for waiting so patiently, I know I go forever without any updates. I'm gonna try to finish this story by the end of the year here. (Hopefully real soon) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sam awoke to the buzzing of the alarm clock on his nightstand. Rolling over in bed, he hit the snooze button, feeling the cool damp bulge of his diaper under the covers. Jess was nowhere to be found. He knew he would have to get out of bed soon if he wanted to get changed. And he knew Jess had planned for them to leave "bright and early" so he'd have to get moving. Slowly he sat up in bed, contemplating what he might need for the trip. Jess had packed a suitcase full of clothes for him the previous night. He'd thought about protesting but he'd been too tired to argue. He was just glad he didn't have to worry about it. Still... he couldn't help but wonder if there was anything special he could grab at the last minute... a sweater, a nice jacket, a book to read. Yawning, he climbed out of bed and waddled over to the small desk in the corner of their bedroom, his wet diaper sagging between his legs. He grabbed a pile of some work papers that he had printed out the previous day. Just some boring reports. On the one hand, he didn't want to bring work with him on vacation but it would give him something to read during the drive. But his life felt like it was becoming more like a toddlers in recent days. He wanted some memento of the adult world. Sure, he was a grown man. But all the time with Shelby there that week, practically babysitting him, hadn't been easy. And then there was the incident with the pull ups... the pull ups, Sam thought. He waddled over to the closet and slid the door open, looking inside. Most of the space inside was Jess' clothes: a blouse, a pantsuit for work, more clothes... but there they were... on the upper shelf in the corner - his opened, half full package of pull ups. Actually, they were technically 'incontinence briefs'... at any rate, they were different from the giant, bulky, crinkling things that he usually wore. He knew Jess hadn't been planning on taking the pull ups with them but maybe he should ask? After all, they might come in handy if they were hanging around town or stuck in the room. This might be the second chance he was looking for. Jess seemed like, in spite of the stress of packing, she was in a pretty good mood. At least she had been the night before. Sam waddled into the kitchen where Jess stood, cooking something on the stove. She stood there in a pretty green sweater and a pair of tight jeans, her brown hair up in a cute pony tail. She'd put on her make up. She was ready to leave... unlike Sam who had literally just rolled out of bed. "Hey, you're just in time. I'm making some eggs. You hungry?" she asked "Uh, I'll probably just eat light... piece of toast or something." "You sure?" she asked. "Yeah." said Sam. "Okay, I'll get that toast started for ya." she said, putting bread in the toaster before stepping out of the kitchen. "Good morning, cutie." she said smiling and kissing Sam on the cheek. Sam blushed. Jess glanced down at his diaper. "Oh honey, you're soaked. Why didn't you say anything? Come on, we'll change ya real quick before breakfast." she said, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom. He laid down on the floor and she quickly ripped open his diaper and began wiping him down. "So uh... Jess.... I um..." Sam tried to begin his pitch but kept hesitating awkwardly as she began wiping his balls with the cool baby wipes. Oblivious, Jess stood up with his folded wet diaper in hand and walked over to the diaper genie to throw it away. She then knelt down next to him again and unfolded a clean diaper before his eyes. "So, um, Jess I was thinking..." said Sam as she began to sprinkle that sweet, fresh smelling powder on him before sliding the new diaper underneath. "What were you thinking, honey?" she asked, preoccupied with the task in front of her. "Well... I um... I was just gonna ask if I..." Sam hesitated again as Jess pulled up the front panel of his diaper before taping it snugly in place. He took a deep breath. "I was thinking maybe like, we could take those pull ups on the trip and I could, you know, wear those..." Jess sighed. "Sweetie, we just got you diapered. Its gonna be a long drive." "I know, I know. And its okay. I wasn't asking to wear them, like, the whole time. Maybe just... for some of the trip." Jess pursed her lips and sighed again. "Sam, I really thought we were past this." she said, wiping her hands down with a baby wipe. "Past what?" asked Sam, sitting up in only his t shirt and new clean diaper. "Past arguing about you wearing your protection. I said you'd be diapered on this trip, didn't I?" "Yeah." "Look Sam. We tried pull ups. And it was... I'll just be honest, it was kind of a disaster. Remember the last time we went on a trip together? Back when you were still wearing underwear during the daytime? We rushed all around town, then waited in line to find you a bathroom, and your underwear was still damp at the end of the day? We're risking you having a big accident without adequate protection. And pull ups aren't gonna be enough if you end up messing yourself like you did yesterday." "I'm sorry I just wanted to-" "Look Sam, I love you. I really do. And I'm really looking forward to this trip. But what kind of protection you wear isn't up to you. You gave up on that a long time ago. Your accidents are MY responsibility. And I honestly thought you'd gotten used to wearing diapers. I didn't think you were still embarrassed about it. I just wanna have one relaxing vacation without worrying about getting you to the potty in time. Is that fair?" "Uh... yeah, of course. S-s-sorry I brought it up." he stammered. Sam knew he shouldn't have broached such a sensitive subject at the last minute. He remembered that Jess had said the previous night that he'd be diapered all weekend. So in retrospect, it seemed dumb to argue. But hindsight was always 20/20. "Come here, sweetie." she said, helping Sam up off the floor. Sam looked into her eyes. The slightly irritated look he'd seen in them just a few seconds earlier was gone. He saw only love and affection now. "I just want us to be able to relax this weekend. Wouldn't you rather be able to take it easy this weekend and not have to go through all the stress of worrying about the potty?" Sam didn't respond. Jess' remark was kind of condescending... but she was right. That day he'd worn pull ups had been one of the most stressful and uncomfortable days of his life. And while he'd felt a real urge to ask about pull ups this morning, deep down, he was glad she said no. "You know this is for your own good, right?" said Jess. Sam nodded. She smiled. "Great. Lets find you some pants and then we'll eat breakfast and head out!" she gave him a pat on his diapered butt and walked over to the dresser, pulling out a baggy pair of sweatpants. She knelt down and held them open. With a sigh, Sam stepped into them and she slid them up around his waist. The two of them then went into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. "I already loaded up our suitcases this morning." said Jess, taking a sip of coffee. "Thanks." he said. Sam sat on the floor by the front door putting on his tennis shoes. Jess grabbed a small cooler and slung her husband's blue diaper bag around her shoulder. "Ready to head out?" she asked. Sam nodded. With that, they walked down to their car and climbed inside. Jess drove of course. She'd made some comment about Sam's driving years ago. At any rate, he knew she always preferred to drive. Actually, Jess always preferred being in control... whatever the circumstance was. "Whats in the cooler?" asked Sam. "Just some bottles of water and sodas." said Jess. Sam figured if he was going to be in diapers, he'd make the most of it. Reaching into the back seat, he opened the cooler and pulled out a coke. For a long time before he went back to diapers, Jess had frowned on him drinking soda or alcohol, especially before bedtime. But she'd long since mellowed out. He sometimes still wondered if it irritated her when he drank it but he hadn't had a leak yet so he figured he had nothing to worry about. Still... after opening it, he took one long and defiant swig... happy he didn't have to worry about finding a bathroom. He pulled out his work papers and stared at them. "Don't tell me you're gonna have your nose in work stuff for this entire trip." said Jess. "Nah... uh, just something to keep me busy on the drive." said Sam. He tried to actually focus on reading the reports but, before long, his mind began to wander. The soda went right through him. It wasn't long before he found himself peeing. He felt the warm urine cascade over his balls before pooling up in the seat for a brief moment before being totally absorbed into the padding under him. His bladder had been fuller than he thought. He tried to conceal his tell tale 'potty face' by pretending to concentrate on the text and letters on the page. He wondered if Jess could tell but he didn't bother to look up at her and find out. Wondering if he'd leaked, he adjusted his posture a little, loosening the seat belt and sitting up a little, trying to feel the garment against his sweatpants. He figured it was just paranoia. His diapers never leaked. It was one of the advantages in wearing the most absorbent brand in existence. The papers in his lap also came in handy for another reason. His predictable erection began pressing itself up against the thick padding again. He could at least conceal the small tent that was forming. Sam knew, or at least hoped, that none of what he'd been doing registered with Jess. He figured she'd probably be keeping her eyes on the road anyway. He wished he could touch himself. But he didn't. Continuing to daydream, he just stared intently at the papers in front of him. "Looks like we're gonna need to gas up before we get there." said Jess, glancing at the dashboard before exiting off the highway. As they pulled up to the gas station, Sam took another sip of his coke finishing it off. He paid no attention to Jess as she climbed out of the car and began fueling. He was startled a little as his door swung open. There was Jess. "You wanna stretch your legs or anything?" she asked. "I'll wait in the car." said Sam. "Hows your diaper?" she asked. Sam hesitated. "Um... its fine... I mean, maybe a little wet but I'm fine." "Okay, hop out for a sec." she said. "Why?" "Sam, I said hop out. Come on." Sam cautiously stepped out of their SUV, looking around. It was still early in the morning and there were no other cars at the pumps. Still, it was broad daylight, and Sam knew that a diaper check was coming. He stood there and let it happen. She slid down the waistband of his sweatpants just below the crotch of his diaper. "Um... yeah, thats not a little wet thats really wet. Thats like... a diaper that may or may not hold another wetting." "Well, I don't really have to go at all. I mean, we could just wait and-" "No, I think we'll change you before we leave here." "Seriously?" said Sam, sliding up his pants to cover his bulging diaper. "Yes, seriously. You know in all the time you've been wearing diapers, I have never ONCE let you get a diaper rash. I'm pretty proud of that record, Sam. You know, sometimes I think I should just let you sit in a wet diaper for an afternoon so you can know what it feels like. I'm sure its not fun. But I'm not gonna do that to you today because we're going on vacation and you do not wanna have a diaper rash for the rest of the weekend, okay?" Sam said nothing. Jess opened up the door to the back seat and pulled out his diaper bag. He knew her mind was made up. There was no sense in arguing. Laying out a towel in the back seat, she motioned for him to get in. Glancing nervously over his shoulder for any cars, Sam climbed into the back seat and laid down. Jess slid his pants down to his ankles before ripping open the tapes. With the car door open, Sam could feel the cold winter air wafting onto his damp skin as Jess wiped him off. He cringed as he saw Jess set his diaper bag on the roof of their SUV, trying to free up precious space in the back seat. She pulled a small garbage bag out and set his wet diaper inside. Then she reached into the bag, still on the roof and pulled out a new diaper. While the car door provided some protection, Jess wasn't especially discreet as she unfolded his new diaper. Sam sighed in relief feeling the tickle of the baby powder. The change was almost over, he told himself. He was getting tired of holding his legs up. With his sweat pants around his ankles and his tennis shoes, his legs felt a lot heavier than usual. But he was glad Jess hadn't made him take them off - which would have left him even more naked and vulnerable. As she began smoothing out the first of the tapes, he reached down for the waistband of his sweatpants to pull them back up. "Wait, wait, wait honey I'm not done yet." she said pushing his hands away. She carefully finished taping him snugly in a new diaper before SHE grabbed his sweatpants and pulled them back up. "Awfully eager to get those back up, aren't we?" "Its just... well... what if there were people around?" asked Sam. "So what? Its not like you'll see anybody we know here. Trust me Sam, taking the time to change your diaper now is way better than having diaper rash all weekend." she said, tossing away the tiny garbage bag with Sam's used diaper in a waste bin. Sam climbed out of the back seat and back into the front. The rest of their drive was uneventful. Sam hadn't liked the idea of getting up early for their trip. He thought, why not sleep in and relax if its a vacation? But that was Jess. In her mind, they had to get there early. They had to make good time. They had to have a plan of action... before they started having fun. But the silver lining was that they would have the entire day ahead of them when they finally got to the hotel. Sam peed again on the drive but it was just a tiny trickle. Nothing compared to when he soaked himself before. When they finally arrived, it was around 11:30. The snow capped mountain peaks in the distance seemed to sparkle in the warm sunshine. It was winter but the temperature wasn't bad out by any means. Jess slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and, with their rolling suitcases, they walked into the lobby. "Hi, we have reservations." said Jess, smiling at the front desk clerk. Sam just loitered behind her and said nothing. It wasn't that he was so socially awkward that he couldn't handle checking in and getting their room keys. It was just that Jess was so eager to take charge, to take care of everything. And he was content to hang back. He was on vacation after all. Also, ever since he'd returned to diapers during the day, he'd become increasingly fond of letting Jess take the lead when speaking to people. He'd always felt a little self conscious when he was diapered... like everyone knew he was wearing that big bulky diaper under his clothes like a little toddler. He knew most of it was in his imagination but, being diapered, he never wanted to do ANYTHING that would attract too much attention to him. So if Jess was handling checking in, or ordering for him, or just doing most of the talking... he figured that was a good thing. He'd never been all that assertive to begin with. But ever since he was put back in diapers, he'd been so much more submissive... both in and outside of the bedroom. Their room was on the first floor. Sam glanced around as they walked out of the lobby, room keys in hand. The marble floors below them were beautiful. It was the same lavish hotel they'd stayed at nearly a year before. But things had been different then... Sam was still wearing underwear during the day and they were still fighting. But somehow, despite all that, he'd made love to his wife that night. While it was a long time ago, he could still remember it like it was yesterday. Their sex life had gotten better to be sure... but Sam had still higher hopes for this weekend. Jess was in a good mood... and if she wasn't worried about him having accidents, she wouldn't be stressed. They set their suitcases down as they entered their hotel room and switched on the light. Jess walked up to Sam and lowered his sweatpants again, sliding her finger into the leg band of his diaper. He knew he'd wet, but he wondered if it was enough for Jess to pick up on. Maybe she'd just think he was still dry. "You're barely wet. I think that'll hold for at least a little longer... unless you want me to change you?" "Nah, I'm fine." said Sam, pulling up his pants a little. He then put his hands on his wife's hips, looking her in the eyes. "I'm happy we're here." smiled Sam. "Me too." said Jess, smiling back. Sam couldn't help but think about how little padding there was around Jess.... just those tight jeans of hers and... whatever she might have on underneath. When Sam touched his own hips, his butt, his crotch... there was an impervious barrier there, so much padding. But with Jess... barely anything. For some reason, the idea of it was so sexy. For Sam, taking his diaper off would be a hassle - not to mention he would need Jess' help or her permission. But HER pants, and underpants could come off at anytime she saw fit. He leaned in and gently kissed her. She kissed him back. For a second or two, both their mouths briefly opened as they tasted each other's lips. Sam's hands slid down on her firm, toned butt. His erection pressed up against the inside of his mostly dry diaper. She pulled away a little. "Whats wrong?" asked Sam. "Nothing, honey. Its just... we just got here. It was a long drive. I wanna relax a little, maybe get some lunch. Hows that sound?" Sam nodded. The weekend was still young. He would have to wait to get out of his diaper and get some real relief. In the meantime, there was ONE bodily function that Sam could enjoy anytime he wanted. He released a little pee into his diaper, enjoying the trickle of the warmth over his balls. He didn't wet alot. But he'd gotten used to wetting slowly and frequently throughout the day. As Jess disappeared into the bathroom, Sam laid down on the bed, still feeling his erection inside his diaper.

I'm a Pepsi guy myself, but it really doesn't matter to me, really Coke or Pepsi are both great, though Pepsi seems to be a better mixer, so that's usually what I go with. I like vanilla coke, but not enough to waste closet space on a 12 pack, so what I do is I mix 1 pony of vanilla rum with a can of cola, and it's pretty good, and hey it has booze in it. For a vanilla rum and coke, I do 1 jigger of vanilla rum and 2-3 jiggers of regular white rum per 12oz can.

Turn it around they're on fetlife for a reason too. Own it, be ok with yourself and screw with them back. You can't pick on someone who is proud of who they are.

Skillz, most of us are guys here. Remember the main rules of the internet, most girls are actually guys. There are plenty of guys who will RP female rolls. I understand your desperation, but the last thing you should do in this community is come accross as HNG (horny net geek).

First post. Asks girls who wear diapers to talk to him. Is waiting 'anxiously'. Is totally NOT a creep and/or pervert .... Like seriously guys.... NOT a creep. No, really ... NOT a creep. He means it! OK I give up. Yes, he comes across as both a creep and a pervert.

I vote based on one and only one issue. If they don't respect the 2nd amendment, they don't believe in the constitution as it was written. One candidate has never been photographed with any sort of firearm or defending the rights of gun owners that I'm aware of and has used every shooting where disarmed victims are preyed upon by people breaking the law to further a gun control agenda. The other candidate owns guns, is against gun control and spoke at the NRA national convention.