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If she does find out, I would have that story ready, until then I just go the way you are going, let sleeping dogs......

My dad lost bowel control for reasons unknown to me. He hated the diapers because he viewed them as taking his adult status away. He was less of a man because he needed diapers. He got little sympathy. He had done his best for a number of years to humiliate his post stroke wife for needing diapers. I think he got the justice he deserved. Now for the post surgery need, the man needs to find that some product will give him the freedom to get out of the house. He may need to shift to slightly looser clothing that do not show the bulges. And above all, no one should make a big deal about his needing diapers. Treat him as you did before. Only his underwear changed.

Not sure but I do like the two smells mixing together, perhaps it does just a bit. I just remember from when my kids wore and seem to think that keyed me off when they needed a change. Kinda like a insight from another older wearer. So will let others field the question.

Well, this goes back to the old discussion "what would the idea diaper be for you" type thing. As every person is different, so is every AB/DL, we all want something that fits our 'ideal' and fulfill our 'fantasy' or what ever. Personally, I am more of a 'technical' person, and I am more interested in performance VS appearances or "looks". Just yesterday I was out most of the day running errands and such all the while in a Medium Xplus diaper under my shorts. I was in that diaper for around 6 hours and used it several times, finishing it off when I got home with a heavy flood, which it easily contained. The only down side was that somewhere along the way it split in back about 2 inches beliw the back waist band, which I found to be disappointing, but not whole unexpected since I had been out and about all day, and in and out of the car etc, but it still bothered me, and I attribute that to the possibility that I just had the thing on to snug *shrug* Now this isn't the "Ideal" AB diaper as it has a front panel with designs and numbers on it rather than a cute pattern or what ever like the Teddys or Bellissimo etc. I bought them because I LIKE them for their performance. They hold a lot and work well for me, I don't really care what they look like, as they have all the features that I want in a diaper. Stand up leak guards, a waist band, good absorption and decent capacity for extended use, so I don't have to change immediately or worry about leaks. If it happens to have a cute design on it, so be it, but I look to performance first, where as others don't. Sure the Tena slip maxi is geared towards the incon side, but thats fine. That just means that they have a good product that fulfills the needs to more people outside our little community. People who also happen to car emore about performance VS appearance...personally I think they look kind of neet! Especially after Julia gets done painting on them Some are more interested in the outer appearance, and a product that "looks" like a baby or childs diaper does, hence the ABU cushie and SDk products. I have tried the SDK (super dry kids) and wasnt really impressed, though this was a few years ago when they first came out, but I doubt that they have changed much. They 'looked' ok, but once they were under my jeans, it didn't matter, I had to go with 'feel' then, and they felt rather thin and I wasn't confident in their performance. I was rewarded with this thinking when I finally got around to using it, and they worked about as well as the depend over nights I used to wear back in the '90's. They held 1 flood (or heavy usage) and that was it....time for a change, or risk a bad leak I'll admit that I haven't tried the latest batches of SDK or cushies, they might have improved....who knows, but they are on my list to sample at some later date. All I do know is what I want as a D/L and I pretty much have that in my stash already. Diapers that have good capacity, fit well, are comfortable, and have all the features that real 'kids' diapers have...all of that which works. Because again, once I pull on my jeans or shorts, who cares what the diaper 'looks' like, as no one can see it (hopefully) and all you are left with is the bulky feeling and knowledge that you are in a diaper and everything will be OK and you can go about your day, secure in the fact that if you relieve yourself at sometime, no one else will know about it via leaks or sagging diaper or what not, no one but you So it really is a personal thing, everyone has different wants in what they wear, and the Tenas aren't any different. I imagine that most D/L's will love them for the extended wear capability and fit and other 'technical' things, but some A/B's will have issues with the fact that they don't "look" the way that they want *shrug* oh well. As far as I'm concerned, 'looks' don't hold back a flood or keep your pants dry or prevent a public exposure via wet spots or leaks but that again is just me and my 'perception' of what a diaper should be....to me. Anyways, I look forward to ordering some soon, maybe this weekend ;)and find out what all the flap in Europe is about whit these...they could be another favorite product! ......or not..wont know until I try them out

I would let the hotel know in advance. They could put a protective cover on the mattress before you arrive. Sounds embarrassing, but remember that the hotel is within their legal rights to charge you for a mattress that you destroy by soaking.

I love wearing a wet diaper. I tend to wet a dry diaper almost as soon as i put one on.

Wet and messy is what I personally prefer.