Texas

Childish Destiny  On her twentieth birthday, a deer is evaluated on whether it would be best if she was regressed back to babyhood. (5,554 words.)             Ask any of her friends, and they would tell you that Holly Weathers was the most mature deer they had ever met and certainly not suited to be a baby at all. At least, that’s what Holly believed they’d say. For her evaluation, Holly dressed as adult as possible. She wore a skinny amber skirt and a blouse with ample cleavage. For once, she remembered to apply perfume, a beach aroma that complemented her sandy antlers. She had adorned her hooves in heels, a clothing article she absolutely detested, but a fur proves their adulthood not by being themselves but by wearing the most elegant disguise possible. Holly had come prepared. Nine minutes left. Nine minutes until Holly’s entire life trajectory would be decided by crazy doctors. Nine minutes until society would determine if she was worthy of living an adult life. How could this be fair? The deer shuffled her legs in the waiting room. She checked her watch above her left hoof; only eight minutes now. Since trotting through that front door, her stomach was twisting. But really, her anxiety had anticipated this day ever since six months ago when she realized she was about to turn twenty and have her evaluation. A few other animals waited besides her. One, a spotted Maine Coon, had already given up in being placed as an adult. He had a balloon patterned diaper and a pacifier happily in his muzzle. He purred softly though his suckles. Perhaps this cat actually wanted to be a baby? Holly was skeptical, but she knew these furs existed. At least until the cat’s placement, she refused to refer to him as a kitten. Even if he had given up hope in his adulthood, Holly had faith in him. She was not the kind of fur to surrender to babyhood. She was a proud deer about to complete her second year of college, and she did not need her life ruined with eternal fawnhood. She knew from internet research and stories among friends that these placements were obviously random and had nothing to do with your actual maturity, but superstition still said to provide the most adult impression possible. Her friends… The odds were not in Holly’s favor. She was autistic and fat and a girl. Chubby animals look like babies to these quacks, one fur she read theorized. Girls are cute. And autistic furs, well, how could they be expected to take care of themselves? Holly would laugh if she wasn’t nervous. She was a grown-up, bleat! Sure, she couldn’t tie her shoes until she was twelve years old—which she rarely wore anyways since walking on bare hooves was far superior—and sure, she still ate salads almost every night for dinner and would cry if she was out of chickpeas, but these were normal things! Even if they weren’t, they had nothing to do with whether she would be happier as a baby. And there’s nothing babyish about eating seconds. Two months ago, her best friend Miranda had her placement. It did not go as Holly hoped. Holly theoretically wanted to stay in touch, but for her heart, it was hard to see that biology major she once knew babbling about how much she loved her stuffy. Where was that smart wolf? How could anyone think this regression stuff was okay?             Holly sighed. She was relatively alone in this opinion. Miranda herself said beforepaw that she wanted whatever the doctors deemed best for her happiness. Many of Holly's other friends admitted that they were kind of childish, and it might be nice to be good babies like society said they should be. Others were confident they'd be placed as mommies, and they were excited for their future little to raise. They had all had brainwashed! There was nothing natural about this, and animals did not need to become children for anyone. Holly was very firm in this position, and no placement decision would ever sway her mind.             The deer had been tempted to run away. She could ditch town, flee to the woods, and live off of wild grasses and berries. But the girl needed her degree. She wanted to be a Latin professor. What life would there be hiding from every fur she knew? If she returned to society, she would immediately be forced into a placement appointment. So Holly might as well get this decision out of the way that would determine the rest of her life. A door opened. “Holly?" the nurse asked.             “Bleat!” Holly said. No, don’t vocalize now! It’s too cute and damaging for her adult placement!             The deer stood up from her seat. She could see the whole waiting room below her now,. and she hated how childish it was. A table with trains and tracks stood in the middle, and that diapered cat had been pawing one back and forth. The coat hanger at the office entrance was green with "flower" bulbs to place coats. The office was begging to place every animal who arrived as a baby. But Holly knew that wasn't true. Some animals were determined fit to be adults. She would be one of them. Holly sauntered over to the nurse as maturely as possible, yet the mouse receptionist gave a big grin. Bad sign, bad sign. They may already see Holly as little. Fuck, she was masking her autism so well! Her walk was normally a giveaway, a big stumble between gallops, so she really tried today to control her pace. Still, many patients in the waiting room kept waving at her like a cute little thing. Shuddering inside, Holly reached the nurse at the open door, and the two walked down the hallway.             "Excited for your big day?" the nurse giggled. She was an orange falcon of a rather tall stature.             "Totally," Holly said. Don't admit you want a particular outcome. That makes you mature in their eyes.             As they walked by examination rooms and corkboards littered with painted paw prints and other crafts, Holly locked eyes with Jessy Delmer, a curvy cow she knew from back in high school. Ugh, why did she have to be here? Not only was Jessy ridiculously pro this system rather than indifferent, she was classified as a mom a few weeks ago and would be soon assigned a "little." The cow had already been breast-pumping to feed her future “young’s” mouth. It wasn't fair that her placement as an adult would only confirm the validity of the system in her head. "Hiii Holly! Omg, today is your big day! Best of luck!" she said with her usual glee.             "Thanks Jessie," Holly said was as much sarcasm she thought necessary to break her hatred through to this girl. Nope, it still didn't work. Jessie was grinning as she trotted away towards the restroom. Of course.             "Come on in," the nurse sang. They were in front of examination room five, which looked like a cross of a therapy office and a daycare. There was a red couch on the left and a comfy green rocking chair on the right. But the rug was one of those rainbow rugs from kindergarten, and was that a bin of stuffed animals next to the bookshelf? At the back was a big paneled window streaming with light from a glimmering lake with a highway by its shore. “We’ve looked at your background before you came in,” the falcon said as she turned on a noise machine by the entrance. “But we would like to run a few tests before we let you know your results. Would that be okay, deer?”             God no, the puns. Holly took a breath. Just keep your cool and forced enthusiasm. “Okay!” “Excellent.” The falcon lowered herself into the rocking chair. “We will start with an interview. Please, take a seat.”             Holly reluctantly walked in and sat down on the couch. She was tempted to lie down, but she decided to sit up straight.             “I should introduce myself,” the bird said. “I am Juniper, and while I am called a nurse here, I am a social worker specializing in working with children. How about you? Would you like to tell me a little about yourself?”             Holly fidgeted with her hooves. She was not a child. Just ignore her supposed specialty. “Uh, my name is Holly Weathers. I’m a deer.” Duh, Holly. “I study ancient Romanimal civilization in college. I really love how in Latin, the words can go in any order as long as the endings decline correctly. It’s so cool!”             Holly felt rather clever with this sophisticated answer. As long as she could keep away from babyish topics, she could prove her adulthood. The falcon responded, “Ha, I don’t remember my high school Spanish very well, but that is really interesting. Do you have any other hobbies you would like to share?” “Well, I like embroidery. I sometimes make cute characters for my friends, and I like to stitch Latin phrases. I also—” “I see. What are some of your favorite foods?” She didn’t like being interrupted, but she had an answer bursting for this question. “Pickles. I really like pickles! They’re such a good snack. I also love a great salad with some Caesar dressing—no fish, please—or with balsamic vinaigrette. It’s soooo good. I could eat salads for every meal!” Crap, had she answered too fast? The interview continued for quite a well. Holly knew she was acing it. Her responses were mature and nuanced. The conversation was flowing, and she did her best to keep eye contact. She would receive an adult verdict in no time. “I think that’s enough chatting. Next, I will pull out some cards, and you will tell me what you see. Understand?” Holly knew of this test from internet discourse. It was the easiest one. As long as you said what you saw—and it was quite obvious what was in the pictures—you’d be golden. “Yes, I’m ready.”             Juniper reached her wings into a bag and pulled flash cards held by a clip. She flipped to the first one. “Can you tell me what this is?”             It was obvious. “A tree,” Holly said. Try to sound as neutral as possible, even bored. Unlike the interview, this was supposed to be banal for adults. Just zone out.             “And this?”             “A car.”             “And this?”             “A skateboard.             “And this?”             “A snack. Wait, an apple.” Frick, how could she have slipped like that? Don’t zone out too far. It wasn’t a huge deal, of course. Adults like apples. But she mentally slapped herself.             “How about this?”             “A cloud.”             “And this?”             “A squirrel.”             “And this one?”             “A dog.”             “And how about this?”             “A stuffy.” NO. She did not just abbreviate that. You only say stuffy at home, Holly! Fuck, fuck, fuck.             “Very good! I think that’s enough cards.” She dropped them back in the bag. Holly did not feel she was very good. Juniper continued. “And speaking of stuffies, our next test will be all about them!” Crap, stuffed animals were an autistic deer’s weakness. Juniper stood up and walked towards that bin. She pulled out a huge stuffed kangaroo. “I think it is best if I do not describe this test. Please hold this plush for now. She kneeled down by the couch and gave Holly the kangaroo. Bending to your eye level was a bad sign. That got Holly nervous. And this stuffed animal was an obvious trap. But it was also rather soft. Would it really hurt to pet the girl a little bit? Adults do that, right? Holly thought. She knew her plush obsession was overtaking her thinking, but she took her hoof off her lap and rubbed it on the kangaroo’s back. Wow, that texture was good. Really good. She did it again. Then again, closing her eyes now. After all the stress of this morning, couldn’t she use this quiet moment to enjoy this little plush? She pet the kangaroo some more. She rubbed her muzzle all around that plushie, a few drops of saliva leaking out and dampening the ‘roo’s fur Gosh, this was so nice! She wrapped her hooves around her new friend and gave him big hug. She was alright and safe. “Could I have Kangy back, my friend?” “No!” Holly shouted, hugging her kangaroo tight, before shaking those words out of her head. “I mean: O-of course!” She held her hooves up to give the plushie to the standing bird. However, Holly was gripping rather tight. She didn’t want to give up her plushie. She loved Kangy! But she needed to pass this test, and she already slipped up. The friction pulled and tugged, and her grip gave. “Very good job. I’m so sorry to take her away. You can have Kangy back later, if you’d like,” the bird sang as she dropped Kangy back in the bin. Then the bird traveled back to her seat. It was a little past noon now, and the sun’s heat from the window was scorching. Holly’s front legs craved for the sensation of Kangy’s fur, but she needed to ignore that tingling for now for whatever tests were left.             The falcon proceeded to reach into her blue bag again and pulled out what appeared to be a picture book. “For our last test, I will read this story to you, and ask you a few questions about what’s going on.” Oh, this should be an easy. Holly was absolutely above picture books and found no enjoyment from them whatsoever. She could show this bird that fact. Juniper put on some reading glasses, and she opened the book wide extended outwards, as if reading to a group of young campers. Holly was her reluctant audience of one. “Here we go. Ahem.” She flipped to the title page. “The Puppy’s Lost Treasure. “Once upon a time, a puppy loved his favorite sock. He loved chomping on this sock because it was the softest sock around.” There was a picture of a feral dog with a sock in his chompers. “‘Grrr’, he would say. Can you grrr for me like the puppy?”             “Grr!” Holly said with a big goofy grin before jamming a hoof in her mouth. What the fudge? How could she react that way? This was the most basic of stories and she was getting so excited! No no, keep your focus, Holly. They won’t get that autistic deer out of you again. You are mature and always have been. You are nothing else but an adult, and you do not play.             With a light smile forming in her beak, Juniper flipped the page. “But one day, the sock went missing. The puppy searched high and low for his wonderful sock. He wiggled under the bed and sniffed around. Was it there?”             “No!” Holly said. Darn it Holly, stop! She had read the next speech bubble.             “You are right. The sock wasn’t there!” The singsong in her voice was so irristable. “Then the puppy went outside and dug in his favorite digging spot. Was the sock there?”             “No! Bleat!” Holly said. This place must be magic. How else could she slip up like that? She hadn’t acted this small since she was in preschool! There must be something up around here. This can’t be the real her underneath the fur. Her eyes felt watery, yet she couldn’t help but keep up a toothy smile. Drool started leaking out of her muzzle and onto the floor. “Very good! You’re passing this test with flying colors,” Juniper said. Holly did not want to pass this test. She couldn’t be passing this test. “When the puppy’s mommy came home from work, the puppy asked where his precious sock was. ‘Check your laundry bin,’ the mother said. The puppy sprinted up the stairs, around the corner, into his room, and dove his head far into the bin. And what do you think was there?” Juniper ended with the most stereotypical upwards tone. “THE SOCK!!! Bahhh~” Holly said. A drool puddle drenched  the couch cushions beneath. She couldn’t hold it anymore. It felt so good to bah, to let go. She was an adult, not a fawn, but she couldn’t control her body anymore. This is who she was at this moment. She just had to hope the evaluation team could understand that she was an adult, and this was a rare fluke. This had to not be her.             After Juniper wrapped up the story, she packed her bag and stood up. "The doctor will enter in a few short minutes, hun. You will have to wait here alone. Can you do that for me?"             Oh no. That’s a bad sign, the asking of an obvious question. This could still be a bonus test, however. Just play it cool, pass this marshmallow test, and you’d be golden. The evaluation can’t have gone that badly, could it have?             "Of course." *** She hated to admit it, as those baby freaks would jump on these emotions immediately, but those next couple of minutes gnawed at her skull. Please, please put Holly out of this misery and give her a good verdict. Please say she was an adult after all. Holly started to doubt her own adulthood with her earlier performance, but she denied all of these maniacs’ philosophy. Nothing here about being a “baby at heart” was true.             The door opened. A fox in a white coat walked into the room with a rolling table and a laptop perched on top. Holly took in a deep breath. She would walk away like all of this had never happened, she knew.             "Hello, Holly. How are you doing?" he said.             "Fantastic." Holly realized how terse this statement was and correct it with the most genuine follow-up she could muster. "Truly."             "We imagine you are eager to hear your results. So I'll get straight to the point. Based on our heuristics---"             "Yes?" Holly said.             "And after plenty of discussion---"             "Go on."             "We have decided you are the most babyish animal we have ever seen."             The first “No” was a little peep, a breath of shock. Then Holly’s mask shattered. She screamed, "Noooo!! Please sir, there must be a mistake. I'm very mature, I swear!"             "No mistakes were made, little one." Already that little phrase was out. Fudge. The chance of respect towards her was shriveling away. "We were very confident before you came in, but the evaluations done by Miss Juniper only confirmed it. You are one of the cutest, childlike, most autistic animals we have ever seen so perfect to be a baby. You already were one; you just didn't realize it!"             Her argument was ready. "How can I be a baby if I'm talking to you?"             "Oh cute girl, you know that being a baby has nothing to do if you can talk!” Juniper said. “It's what's in your heart. But of course, it feels much better for babies like you to not talk and instead wear diapers, babble, and poop and pee themselves. We're sure you'll come to understand that, too."             She didn't know why she was trying to logic with these animals. It wasn't going to work; their insanity was beyond comprehension. Of course, she did know why she kept talking. She needed this all to change. Her emotions were all over the floor. Fudge, she was sobbing. Another mark towards babyhood. Her forever babyhood.             "Frankly,” the doctor said, “the team was surprised you even lasted this long pretending to be a grown-up. You’re just so fat and little! You should never ever have been allowed to be an adult. We're so sorry that you've been through all this pain."             "I haven't been through pain until now!" Holly said, though she wasn’t as sure as she was an hour ago. "I was a fine woman actually making a life in this stupid world." How could a whole team make such a wrong decision? Group think? Mob mentality? She didn’t act that babyish before, did she? The tests revealed nothing.             "But it's okay now," the doctor said, a paw on Holly's back. "You're going to get to be a baby. You'll feel so much more comfortable. It's so right for you.             He wasn't listening. He wasn’t listening. Her words were gibberish to him. Already, she was a baby in his eyes…             Yet for some reason, this all felt good, maybe great. She was a fawn, scientifically verified. What if she could trust it, just accept that she was meant for pampers and building blocks? No more masking, no more hiding. She could be a good deer. She might be meant to be a baby for the rest of her life. She giggled wildly for a moment. She was a baby. She would never get to be an adult again.             "We have your assigned mommy already here today," Juniper said. "And it sounds like the two of you already know each other! It's so sweet and perfect!" She put her wings together in a clap, a blush on her face.             Wait, no. There's only one cow that could be referring to. Holly was snapped out of that stupid glee.             "Heya, little cakes." Jessy said as she walked in with a pink stroller. "I get to be your mommy from now on! I get to put you in so many diapers and outfits, and you get to be oh so cute!! You'll never have to worry again! Isn't that great?"             "No, No, NO!!!" Holly shouted. Anyone but that smug cow. Anyone else as her “mom.” Holly threw a nearby pamphlet across the room and whined. Just like a real baby...No, don't fall into their language. They would not convince her just yet. She almost fell earlier.             "Jeez, someone's a bit hissy," the cow said with an exaggerated eye roll as if to help kids understand the humor. "Doc, do you think she'll feel better soon?"             "Definitely. This realization that they've been a baby their whole life can be a shock for some little ones. They just didn't expect it. But don't worry! It'll feel natural and right for them soon enough."             "But I haven't been a baby my whole life!" Holly stood up to try to level herself with these crazy heads before losing balance and falling right back into the couch. From her seat, she gestured to her whole body. "I'm an adult, look!" She felt awkward doing this, but she held up her breasts, a puberty characteristic to prove some sort of point.             "Oh, the body argument," Jessy said. "A classic. Boobs just make a baby cuter, Little Bells.” Jessy reached to pinch Holly's cheeks with her cloven hooves. "Who's a good little baby who thinks she's a grown up? You are! You are!"             "Shut up!" Holly swatted the air with her hooves towards Jessy. Another babyish act in the eyes of her new captors. She might really just be a good little fawn. "Doc, where's a binky?" Jessy asked.             "Already way ahead of you. Put this in her muzzle to help sooth her. Babies calm right up once you give them a nice pacifier."             Any rebuttals she had were disregarded as the most enormous binky Holly had ever seen was shoved right in her muzzle. Instantly, like a long return home, she began suckling. Mhm, this was rather nice. A calm washed across her fur, and for the first time in hours she felt her stomach relax. If she ever did get out of this, maybe she could try pacifiers at home.             Wait, no! You're falling for their traps, again! Holly thought. Stop! Yet why not just fall for the traps? Why not let that fake adult façade break, Holly asked herself. Why not be the best baby there ever was, the real you? Why try so hard to pretend to be a grown up every day when the real autistic you is a good little girl? Holly didn’t know how to answer these questions. She thought she had to fight, at least a little longer. She thought she shouldn’t lose her strong, academic self. But why did she think these things? Holly was confused.             “And I’ve got someone else you will like!” Juniper said, holding Kangy. She must have gotten it when Holly wasn’t looking.             “Kangy,” Holly mumbled through her pacy. She loved Kangy so much. Kangy would be here through this babyish world. Kangy would be her best friend. She rubbed her head into Kangy’s stomach again. Drool leaked through her pacifier. "I think she's ready for the babying procedures,” the doctor said. “Ms. Fern, could you take our fawn to the conversion facilities?"             "Of course," Juniper said. "C'mon, Jessy. Let's watch your baby be prepared."             Holly paused from her snuggling to think about what was said. She had heard about these machines in theory, but she shuddered to think what they actually do. All she knew was a few weeks after each placement she would visit a previous friend, and they'd be mooing and meowing and drooling and packing their pamps. Something was going to happen, either to her mind or to her body. Half of her was distinctly terrified. The other half was still in awe with this soft bulb in her jaw and Kangy in her arms. She was a good baby. She was ready to poop some diapers. It’s what she should have been doing all these years.             This was the moment she lost her disguise. Two women approached her, Juniper and Jessy, and they ripped every clothing item the deer had. They violated her. Gone was the amber skirt. Gone was the sexy blouse. There wouldn’t be sex for her anymore. She was a fawn. She would always be naked or In frilly skirts and booties. And this felt a little good, good to just be with her fatter, babier self that had been stifled under all that cloth mess. Fawns didn’t wear clothes. Fawns suckles their hooves and wet themselves. A giggle murmured in her. Jessy picked the entire deer up and placed her in the pink baby carriage. That woman was strong. But there was a grace to her carry. Could she really be that bad? Jessy then layered Holly in blankets and pillows until only her head poked out. It was a lot, but it was snuggly heaven. Holly could feel the wheels begin to turn. Jessy pushed as Juniper led her towards a room down the far end of the hall. This was where those machines would be. Yet Holly could barely see beyond the fluffy white ceiling of her stroller. She heard the “aww”s from nurses walking by, but it was hard to care anymore. It helped too that she couldn’t see these animals. “Load her onto the conveyor belt,” she heard Juniper say from under the muffle of the blankets. The cow continued to prove her motherly strength as she lifted the naked fat deer up onto the machine. Juniper strapped her belly down so she couldn’t bolt. There goes that option, not that Holly was considering running much at this point. The metal was cold. Finally out of the carriage though still stuck on her back, Holly could get a better look around. Above were great ceiling fans in the most industrial room of this building. Farther down, the conveyor belt, she could just glimpse in her vision other animals drift through metal boxes and exit diapered. There must be more to these machines, however. Something had to cause the mental changes she saw in her friends. “You excited?” someone asked. She stretched her head as much as she could in the opposite direction. It was the dog from earlier. His diaper had been removed, likely so he was ready to receive a new one. “Nah weally!” Holly croaked through her binky. “Buh maybe?” The war still raged in her head. This could be what would make her happy. She had those urges earlier. To giggle at a cute story, to speak in baby talk. All of that would be accepted now, encouraged. She might just need to be a baby. She didn’t have time to think more as the conveyor belt drifted her towards the first metal box. Brace yourself. You might not be the same person coming out. Her fur felt colder as she entered the box’s darkness. Something from above reached down and touched her head. Was this it? Was her mind a goner? The light returned. She was out of the box. What had changed? She felt herself all over. She reached her head. A pink, lacy bonnet wrapped around her ears…Was that all? Where was the mental changes? Was this a mind-controlling bonet? She didn’t think so, for it was loosely attached to her head. How could mind-control like that really exist, anyhow. There were no mental changes. It hit Holly then. All her friends who came out as happy babs hugging themselves; they wanted that. They realized that was them, for they were babies always.  These machines didn’t mess with your head. They only dressed you. Her friends loved to mess and wet themselves all day while playing with toys because who wouldn’t? Being a baby was amazing! She felt booties join her paws, and in these seconds Holly had official lost the war and happy to do so. The doctors were right. It had been obvious for months, and she was scared of change so she dreaded this day. Yet being an accepting environment can be powerful. And Holly realized for sure that she was definitely a dumb, little, stinky baby. “Bah~,” she said, and she drooled some more. At last, the best station arrived. The arms reached down in the dark, tugged at her sides, and she drifted out. She was diapered. She was a baby again. And immediately, she pushed, and shit got all around her mushy bottom. “I did it! I did it, mommy!” Holly said. She was reaching the end of the conveyor belts, and Jessy’s arms were there to catch her. “I messed myself! I’m just a baby!” “I knew you would understand, little deer!” her mother said as she caught the girl. Holly loved Jessy. She had been angry at Mommy because Mommy had been treating her like a fawn back in high school, but Jessy just knew something Holly hadn’t realized yet. Everyone around her had seen through that pathetic mask. She was autistic and female, and she should just be a good baby. She nuzzled up into her mother’s breasts. “I love you mommy so, so much! Please take me home and diaper me and never treat me like an adult again!” “Of course I will. You can see your friends again, too! I bet they’d be happy to know you’re a baby like them.” Her friends! They had been so smart to accept themselves as baby idiots. Would they forgive Holly for not playing with them for so long? Of course they would. Babies stick together, and they love playing games and pooping themselves. She was so happy! “And you can still sometimes read your silly Latin if you want to sometimes, though you might be forgetting how to read soon.” She would definitely forget how to read. She would forget how to add, write, and so many other things. She was a baby! Babies didn’t know how to do these things, and that’s wonderful. She was loved and accepted. She could be her dumb, stupid, pamper-packing self for the rest of time. And that made her so blissfully happy. The drool from under Binky was immense. “You two are going to be such a happy family,” Juniper said. She was turning to leave back towards the office. “You two can exit out the back entrance; you did all the paperwork when you arrived, Jessy. Have a wonderful trip home!” “Thank you, Ms. Fern,” Jessy said. She then looked down at her girl. “Can you say Bye Bye to the woman who helped you realize what a big baby you are?” Holly loved Juniper. Without her, Holly wouldn’t realize how stupid, little, and wonderful she was! “Bye Bye, Juny!” Juniper smiled and walked away. Meanwhile, Jessy took off her shirt unhooked her bra. “I think it’s time for my little one to get a nice meal. You must be exhausted after such a big morning where you had to think so much!” Holly saw the cow’s teats. They were so, so big. So delicious. Her babyish instincts kicked in, and she suckled into overdrive. So squishy and soft. Suckly felt sooooo good. And she was going to do this all day every day for the rest of her life? Yay!! “Aww, such a good drinker! You can keep suckling as we walk to our car.” Of course, it would only be Jessy walking, with the fawn in her arms. Holly blushed as she felt the tap leaking in her diapie. It was sopping and turning yellow. But did it matter? She was a good baby, and babies did that kind of thing. She giggled and cozied up even deeper into her mother’s arms. She was a baby, and she would be one for the rest of her life. And that sounded like everything her little, fat, autistic heart could ever dream.    

💜

We're all adults here so asking a sexual question shouldn't be a big deal. Your post is a little difficult to read but my guess is that it's a result of your mental health issues but I'll do my best. If I'm off base just let me know, my intentions are constructive. I'm not sure why you are asking about condoms but you wouldn't be able to use one if you have a catheter in. I don't think size is much of an issue unless you're hung like a porn star. Just buy whatever brand that appeals to you. If you are thinking masturbation in a diaper might be fun you would be on the right track. Sex starts in your brain, not in your genitals. It's a very personal thing and unique to each individual. Looking at the photo galleries doesn't do much for me personally so I seldom go there yet they are the first stop for many on here I suspect. The story archives happen to be where I am most likely to hang out. Put some thought into what it is that turns you on and use that to put you in the right headspace for playing. Wearing a diaper means no condom needed and cleanup is a snap. I hope this helps you. Hugs Freta

Timmy yelled and cursed when he was picked up, after he was made to sit down the toilet his face made a disgusting look but before he could get up a bar of soap was put into his mouth immediately started to gag. He then yanked the soap out before running to the door, unlocked it and started to run.

I was going to say this was a The Boys/Sky High(haha) inspired ABDL Superhero story but didn't- I was going to write a synopsis/summary and may add this later once a few more chapters are out. My husband(also Daddy) and I began dating when The Boys series came out and are huge fans! I personally really enjoy the 'reality' of being a super hero and writing it in this story.     7: 2nd Offense   By the end of the week Zoey had been through her first full 5 sessions with Dr. Grey. After waking up from her last session of the week, she felt the euphoric feeling once more. She feel flushed as she woke, a bit different than the other sessions. It felt like she had an orgasm and had just woken like in her sleep. She tried calming down from the feelings causing her to blush at the doctor who watched her with a hint of a smile on his face and a humored look in his eyes. Dr. Grey asked, “Are you feeling okay, Zoey?” He asked as she blinked to his eyes. She looked sheepish and steadied her breathing, “Yes, doctor.” Zoey shifted, knowing she’d have to change her panties after this. What had gotten into her lately? It seemed like every time she fell asleep it was an erotic moment when she woke. On top of that, she was going through underwear quickly. She’d need to have another laundry day soon. Luckily for her, the night before she didn’t have an accident again. “Good, you’re dismissed.” He went back to his laptop and she nodded but didn’t move. He stopped typing and looked to her, “Something wrong?” Zoey’s breathing hitched a little bit and she frowned, “I, um, just feel really good since being here. It’s weird.” She looked into Dr. Grey’s warm brown eyes that flickered with something unreadable. “Hm.” He said, closing his laptop to cross his arms and leaning back on his dark leather brown chair. His eyes studied her, but he said nothing. The quietness from him only made her feel excited. She felt like she had the hots for this doctor since she got here and it was humiliating in itself because someone like him would never date someone like her. She was a Super influencer and was his patient for Christ’s sakes! She didn’t know why she’d even float the idea in her head. “I’ve also had some strange dreams.” She paused, internally wincing that she’d even mention them, “They are vivid and weird to say the least and it’s been every night.” She swallowed, face feeling warm from the idea of almost telling him she woke up in a post orgasm state almost every morning now. “And what are these dreams about?” He asked, fingers brushing his chin as he watched her get uncomfortable sitting there. Zoey blushed and shook her head as she stood, “I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I think I’ll go, sorry.” She said, walking out of the room quickly and closing the door. She didn’t want to lie to him nor tell him. They were embarrassing and she was nervous that telling him would only make her squirm further about him. Zoey went to her bedroom to find a few items on her bed. She closed her door and walked over to her bed, sitting near a sketch journal, canvas, paint, some drawing tools, and coloring pencils. She opened the pencils and smiled at the colors. She got a 96 pack of Crayola colored pencils and the item alone made her feel slightly little, like a small child. Zoey climbed more onto her bed and opened the sketch journal. She looked out the bedroom’s glass window that looked out to the beach and began sketching it with a light gray pencil. Zoey was so engrossed in her coloring that she missed lunch completely. She looked at the clock when she was done and realized it was already 4:30 PM and her stomach was grumbling. She went to the restroom and realized she never changed her sticky underwear. Zoey changed quickly and went down the stairs for a snack before dinner. As she came down the stairs, Dr. Grey had his laptop bag slung over his shoulder and was walking out the door. Zoey nodded to him as they exchanged a glance at each other. She felt so awkward in his presence she didn’t dare to speak. “I’m going out to dinner with a few old friends at my house.” He said, about to say goodbye before Zoey cut him off. “Oh, you live separately?” She asked, a bit confused why he had been at the beach house if he had a separate place. “Mhm.” He said, eyes studying hers with a pause, “I try to stay here the first week of a new patient but it’s time for me to go back home for the weekend.” “Oh.” She said, slightly relieved to hear that he’d be gone in the case she’d have any further accidents. His eyes looked at her as if he could read her thoughts when she looked back up at his, “Be good, Zoey. See you Monday.” He murmured before leaving. She watched through the front doors window him get in his black SUV parked in the circle road of the beach house and leave. She gulped, confused why she was relieved and sad of his absence at the same time.   That night at dinner Zoey ate the barbecue chicken meal cooked by Paula and was left to Ivy, Trident and Joey as company after the chefs left for the night. Zoey felt the tension in the room and knew she did not have Dr. Grey in the house or anyone for that matter. Zoey ended her dinner early and got up to leave, only to find herself falling on her butt hard from Ivy’s vines holding her ankle down. “Fuck!” Zoey said, the vines all over the ground, how did Zoey not notice during dinner that they were growing?! She tried to squirm away, but the vines encircled her wrists and ankles, growing up her legs to her thighs, “Stop, Ivy!” She said, looking to the table and knowing she couldn’t reach the water even if she wanted to. Zoey felt energy pulse through her hands for the light but could only make the light flicker. She wrestled with the vines as she was pulled off the floor and laid against the wall. Trident and Joey just watched from their seats. Trident saying to Ivy, “Be nice, Ivy.” “I am.” Ivy said, turning off the light in the dining hall and crossing her arms, “She’ll just sleep here tonight. I think that’s fair.” Zoey yelped, “Please no Ivy! This isn’t fair AT ALL!” She writhed underneath the itchy vines that held her to the wall, eyes already watering from the situation. “I think it is.” Ivy said, walking over to Zoey and cupping her chin in her hand, “You sent me to the hospital for 3 weeks, one day is me being nice.” She growled, “I could make it the whole weekend if I wanted too, though.” Zoey didn’t speak back, she just cried on the wall, pinned by Ivy’s vines and a prisoner to the shackles she was in. “It’s kind of hot the whole bondage thing.” Trident murmured as he stood and was about to leave. “Of course you’d like it. Don’t get any ideas though Trident or you’ll end up on the wall next.” Ivy’s eyes shifted to Zoey with a trace of mercy, “I’m evil but not that evil to let Trident take advantage of you, Zoey, believe it or not.” The three left the room with Zoey hanging there and struggling against the vines without giving. Hours and hours went by until she felt uncomfortable by her bladder. If not for her bladder, Zoey would have fallen asleep in her confines. The vines let up a little bit for comfort, she’d give them that. Zoey shifted, her thighs held strong by the furry moss vines. She breathed slower as she closed her eyes and let her bladder go. She felt gross as the vines got damp and the urine trickled down her thighs. Zoey cried again from just wetting herself like a baby. Although, the thought of her wetting herself like a baby made her stomach tickle a little. Her recent dreams had made her like the idea of that, as much as she’d hate to admit it. After another hour of hanging in, she fell asleep to wake five hours later to falling onto the ground. Zoey woke up in confusion as Ivy stood in the room and the vines were curling away and into her arms. “You moan in your sleep, you know.” Ivy said, looking at Zoey gathering her bearings as she began getting up. “No, I-um...” Zoey shook her head with a blush, half asleep still as she remembered a bit of her vivid dream about being publicly diapered in a convenience store and people checking her diaper and changing her in front of everyone. “Gross, you wet them.” Ivy sneered, smelling the putrid urine scent in the room and on her vines. “I’m done messing with you, I think I had my fun. Take a shower or something.” Zoey nodded and went back to her bedroom, taking a long shower and changing into a clean set of clothes. Zoey threw her clothes in her dirty clothes hamper and then went back into her bed, hoping to get back into the dream she just got knocked out of. She fell into a nice deep slumber after being held by Ivy’s vines the whole night. Zoey saw familiar warm brown eyes as she was in the Tower in the lobby. He was smiling down to her and looking to be admiring how adorable she was. She blushed as she looked down and was wearing a diaper. Zoey tried pulling down her shirt but it failed in covering her secret. Embarrassment took her like a wave as she was in a public space in just a diaper. As much as Zoey tried to move, she couldn’t. Dr. Grey came over quickly to her rescue and picked her up. He brought her into the elevator and to her room. “Shhhh, shhh.” He cooed her and placed a pacifier in her mouth, soothing her. He touched her diaper and it was wet. “I- um.” She began and he pushed her onto her bed in response to a diaper change. He placed a changing mat below her bottom and began changing her diaper…   Zoey woke up moaning and a powerful orgasm going through her. “Mmmph.” She moaned louder than she wished that may have been loud enough for her housemates to hear. Zoey took a few seconds breathing heavily in a post orgasmic glow as the dream was still so vivid in her head. She cursed under her breath as she was still feeling hot and bothered. Zoey wanted the feeling to stop so she touched herself until a second orgasm, it being almost as powerful as the first. Zoey laid there for minutes in a euphoric state thinking of him. Dr. Grey. She had fantasized him in a dream and now she was day fantasizing about how handsome he was. Along with that, he was caring and passionate about his job. He was commanding and strict which was a huge turn on for Zoey. She didn’t know much about him, but the mystery ate her up and made her want him more. She shifted, realizing that there was more than stickiness in her panties. She pushed her white comforter aside to find a large wet patch on her pajama bottoms and over her sheets, “Fuck!” She got up quickly and pushed off the top comforter to gather the sheet underneath. Underneath the sheet was a wet patch in the mattress. Zoey’s face became red as she realized that the damage to her mattress was now done. How was she going to tell housekeeping about this? She didn’t pee herself to this degree the last time she wet herself during the night! The only thing she had going for her at this point was the fact that Dr. Grey was gone for the weekend and wouldn’t know what happened. Zoey took a quick shower and changed into fresh clothes. She gathered her sheets and sodden clothes to take down to the laundry room. She quickly scampered passed the hallway near where she heard her other housemates already eating breakfast. She went past the gym and to the laundry room that’s door was closed. She set down her sheets on the ground to open the door. As she turned the knob, she found it was locked. Zoey tried again, thinking it must because she was just nervous of getting caught by her housemates. The door didn’t open, and she tried once more in desperation. “Fucking fuck.” She cursed under her breath, realizing that the cleaning ladies must not be there for the weekend and keep the door locked when they’re gone. Great, just great. 8: Caught   Ivy was much nicer after she got her way with Zoey and actually acknowledged Zoey in the room. Surprisingly, they were cordial and chatted a bit during Sunday’s dinner. “God, I couldn’t do the monthly Agency setups anymore. They are dumb. What was the stupidest one you’ve been through?” Ivy asked, already having hers in mind. “When Firefly burst into my makeup room. Like, I couldn’t do anything.” Zoey laughed at the memory, “The Agency tried to film it but Firefly and I just ended up fist fighting and she had to make it seem like I took her down. It didn’t work and we were on the ground laughing and rolling on top of each other. Kinda was low key soft porn.” Zoey said, almost crying from laughter. Ivy rolled her eyes with a snicker, “That’s hilarious, you are so tiny I don’t know why they’d try to do that setup. Isn’t Firefly like 5 foot 11 or something?” Zoey nodded as her dark brown bangs bobbed, “Yup. It was embarrassing.” “Almost as bad as you wetting yourself yesterday?” Ivy said, Trident and Joey looking to them. Zoey swallowed, eyes widening as her brain went straight to the night wetting, not even realizing that she also peed herself on Ivy’s vines. She gulped and went with it, realizing that Ivy didn’t see her the second time or at least she convinced herself of that, “Ha- yeah. Almost.” “You like… couldn’t hold it?” Joey asked, charismatically with his eyes wide looking from Ivy to Trident. Zoey felt so fuzzy with embarrassment she couldn’t respond and just blushed. “Wow.” Trident said with his blue eyes looking at Zoey’s flushed face. Ivy saw Zoey’s silence and shrugged, “Given, Zoey was tied for like 12 hours.” Zoey looked up to Ivy, surprised she was showing mercy and giving a friendly excuse to the guys.   By the time Sunday night rolled around, Zoey set her alarm for 7AM when she knew the cleaning ladies showed up. Ever since Zoey’s wetting that Friday night, she had set towels over her bed in case of a second accident. The day before she didn’t have any problem besides waking up hot and bothered once more. The dreams were exciting and it was embarrassing how much the humiliation made her horny. She didn’t know what was happening to her yet it didn’t matter because she couldn’t stop it. In fact, she’d even admit to liking this new fetish she had developed, a lot actually. She’d be lying to say that it didn’t creep into her consciousness during the day that she daydreamed and fantasized about wearing a diaper and acting like a baby. She imagined it in her room, going to a shopping mall, being in a car getting a diaper change and so many other places. The taboo of it excited her and she only could wonder over the weekend if her sessions she may have been learning her deepest desires too quickly. Had Zoey had this deep desire prior to being here? She knew she grew up too quick as a kid. Sure, she had lots of attention as a child but she never got to enjoy the little things. Her mom was single and lived in poverty that she forced Zoey to work. Zoey was pushed into child acting and commercials. She went from try out to try out with her mom characterizing her as ‘Super Lightning Girl’. Before Zoey knew it, by age 8 she was in her first movie. Then she had her own TV show following it as people wanted more of her. That died down by age 16 when Zoey said no to every possible opportunity. She and her mother moved to California and Zoey finally had a say in her decisions. The Super Agency didn’t like that she was saying no to everything and baited her into at least doing talk shows, small movie cameos and being an influencer. They said they’d take care of her social media, she just had to film the scripts they wanted. That’s what Zoey had done since 16 and has died down in popularity. The Agency still wanted to cast her in more shows and movies but she declined. Zoey didn’t want to be a movie Super, she wanted to be a real Super like Officer Hawk, Harrow Bone, Captain Thwart, or Dogman Jones. Zoey was just a ‘pretty face’ to the Agency and she wanted to be much more. She wanted to bring justice to the world, not be some face of any propaganda the Agency wanted to push. She did meet the real Supers and was, to be quite honest, disappointed as they didn’t seem to care about humans. They really cared about the money and merch they could sell at the end of the day. They just were pretty faces and gave humans hope that they were protected, yet all the Supers caused collateral damages. Many innocent lives have been killed, people injured or put in debt due to destruction. There was a reason why there were so many lawsuits of the Agency and Zoey didn’t want to stand as association to them. It was wrong what they did and stood for the more and more she found out. Zoey laid there in bed that Sunday night thinking deeply about these things and why she felt such a strong desire to be babied. Was her dreams just telling her something? There was a possible underlying meaning… or just that Zoey was incredibly kinky and had a fetish she couldn’t quite understand yet. As many times as she had orgasmed the past week from this new awakening, she couldn’t place a finger on that there had to be something more. Maybe Zoey craved being taken care of, loved unconditionally, and placing her trust in someone completely. She could never trust her mother growing up, as she knew it was only an exchange with her adopted mom. If Zoey took a new opportunity, her mother would visit more. If Zoey denied opportunities, her mother wouldn’t talk to her. Zoey never had a father and, if she did, she was sure he’d be just as fake. Many Supers understood what Zoey was going through and she wasn’t alone in being lab created and adopted. Zoey didn’t even think she ever experienced unconditional love or love that was real from these experiences. Maybe that’s why she tried to kill herself so often in the recent years. She found she must either have a high drug tolerance or be immortal at this point. The only thing she was sure would do the trick may just be Power X. Zoey eventually fell asleep with these thoughts encircling her mind.   Dr. Grey was trying to find Zoey in the grocery store as she ran from him. She was playing hide and go seek in a public area that Dr. Grey was obviously fuming about. He found her and yelled, causing her to halt. Zoey felt like she couldn’t move as he strode over to her, kneeling and taking her over his knee. She gasped as people murmured in passing but didn’t stop him. She had awful pain on her rear end and began crying. After her spanking he took her to the bathroom and began to put her in a diaper before…   Zoey felt an orgasm shudder through her body as she stirred awake with a moan she muffled into her pillow. She was breathing heavily for a few minutes, remembering the dream she just had that lead to it. What the FUCK is wrong with me? Zoey thought as she stared up at the dark ceiling and then at the alarm clock that just went off for 7AM. She rolled over, pausing as she felt very very wet. She looked down in horror to find she wet all over two towels on her bed and her pajamas were soaked. Zoey made sure to not drink anything after 7PM the night before… how could this be happening?! She got up quickly and took the towels off the bed to hopefully not soak it more. She saw some yellow wetness on the bed and she scurried to the shower, stripping off her clothes and showering as quickly as she could. If she played her cards right, she should be able to start washing her sheets before Dr. Grey would be back… or at least she hoped! She didn’t know what time he came in on Mondays but only assumed that she’d get downstairs prior to him coming in. She’d be lying to say a small part of her wanted him to find out, but that was wrong of her, very wrong and a bit on the naughty side. After her shower she shuffled down the hall and stairs with her wet sheets, towels and pajama bottoms. As she went down the hall she nodded to one of the cleaning ladies who passed her with a mop bucket, “Need help?” The older Hispanic woman asked. “No, I got this. Just spilled water on my stuff is all.” She nodded politely to the woman. “Oh, okay.” The cleaning lady kept walking as Zoey scurried past the indoor gym, not even daring to look if Dr. Grey could be in there. Zoey made it inside the laundry room and threw her sheets and everything inside, not caring about mixing the colors with whites. She didn’t care, she just wanted to hide her evidence at this point. “Zoey?” Zoey froze, heart pounding as she was about to close the lid. She turned her head to the man standing in the door. Dr. Grey stood with his arms crossed in black gym shorts and a long sleeve grey shirt with his eyes glowering as if Zoey was in trouble. “Shit.” Zoey said, biting her lip.