In need of some advice

[D_danny777]

So I'm dealing with the age old problem that most abdls have. That is telling the one we love about our abdl side. First off I'm not in rush to go out tell her right away about how I feel about diapers, but I do however see a future with this girl and would one day want her to know this side of me. We connect on so many levels but I'm not sure how well she would take it. I've read through the forms how others have done it but I think what separates my situation from others is that she is divorced and already and has a 5yr old kid and the diapers thing might freak her out making her think I'm some kind of pedo bear. On top of that she is going to be deploying to Afhgan after the holidays are done, and I don't want any kind of weird thoughts distracting her when she needs to be mission focused. Any advice about how I should go about this would be greatly appreciated.

[Zander]

If I were in your situation, I would probably broach the topic after she's back from deployment, assuming you've not been together for years already and presuming she's deploying for no more than 9 months. I found it took a few weeks for my other half to become happy after I brought it up and I brought up up sensibly, explained my thoughts, answered her questions honestly and didn't pressure her while she became happy with the concepts and ideas. Your other half is going to need time too, I expect.

[gmcchamp99]

My fiance and i have been together for almost 8 years now. I explained my Fetish to her the exact way it was, no sugar coating, no fairy tales. I has this conversation with her when we first started dating, actually, the first night we spent together ( It was a non sexual evening, simply sleeping over my house ). I explained to her that i have wet the bed for numberious years, since age six on and off and that i have tried various medicines and none had worked properly at the time without side effects and that my parents used to diaper me before bed. I wore diapers as a child and once i grew too big for normal diapers, i started using Goodnites and eventually Tena diapers from a pharmacy down the road. I made clear that at times i did still wet the bed, but it wasnt as frequent as when i was a child. I further added with having to use them as a need for so long, i grew fond of them and they were not children related and has no association with children. I asked her opinion of the topic and then explained to her that at night, it was comfortable if i wore a diaper. She was a little unsettled at first, but after the first few times, she was fine with it. About a month later, we were fooling around at night and she happened to grab my leg and begin to slide it up towards my private parts where she was stopped by my diaper, he hand kind of slid away and i coaxed it back towards it and said it was fine. I also proceeded to ask her if she was fine with it and after wards asked if she would like to try a diaper on, no judgement. She declined. My feelings werent hurt but she did continue to play with my parts through the diaper. Our first time making love was while i was diapered, with the tapes undone. A few weeks after that night, she tried a diaper on and i let her experiment with it on her own, no rush, didnt show that i was overly excited that she wore. Inside, i was dying to play with her, but i just enjoyed the view. She now enjoys diapers with me often. She still only wets which is just fine, and till this day we are still enjoying them together.

[drynot]

I think you're right on about not telling her until she gets back from deployment.

[D_danny777]

thanks for the advice everyone =). It really helps put things into perspective reading others 2 cents

[gnarley9t]

I had a similar situation with my ex-girl friend, she had a 3 year old and I had never dated a woman with a kid before. I was extremely worried she would get the idea I was a pedo too before I came out to her. Being abdl is sexual for me and if there was anything for me to learn from my failed marriage, it was to get my abdl out on the table as soon as possible. I could write a novel about how my insecure induced, binge/pirge abdl-ism ran rampant through the relationship with my disgusted, unaccepting ex-wife. The marriage was a major learning experience for me and my abdl-ism, so if you haven't already, decide how important being abdl is to you before you talk to her because sure, she could accept it and then you two get to focus on everything out side the bedroom to fight about. Or she, like my ex-wife, doesn't want anything to do with it, you are secure enough to walk away from the relationship if exploring your abdl with a lover is to important for you to give up and avoid possible years of pain and grief to you and you girlfriend trying to make something work that ain't going to work.

So yeah, I ended up telling my ex-girlfriend with the three year old about being abdl, the thought of being a pedo never crossed her mind, she ended up telling me it was no big deal and asked me if I kept any 'items' in my closet. Yeah dude, she was holding me with a pacifier in my mouth that night, a few days later diapers were introduced and until other outside the bedroom circumstances became unbearable between us, for about a solid year I had the mommy of my dreams.

P.S. if she does accept it and is willing to indulge you, don't be a selfish prick, you better be rocking her world in every way she is rocking yours, good luck dude

[gnarley9t]

Yeah, I forgot to suggest when to tell her. It looks like the consensus of the thread is to wait till she gets back and that's fine and good, but I am of the school of thought that it really doesn't matter when you tell her cause either she is going to be into it or she isn't. The only thing I would ask yourself is, can you ever truly feel a part of the relationship witholding this major part of your life from her? Is this fair to you? Is this fair to her? This is the question I have had to ask myself a few times with the few girls I have dated or been with since my ex-wife. And I will tell you what, deciding to tell a girl I have been dating a bit about being abdl has been the best indicator for me if I see a future with the girl. 3 times I felt I couldn't tell her so then bam, I stopped dating them. I told one girl I dated for about a month cause I thought there was potential, it didn't end up going anywhere and we broke up a few weeks later but you know what? Not only was I open and honest from the start but since I know what I want and have become very secure with my infantilism, I didn't let the fear of her rejecting me or outing me get in the way and eventhough I have no idea if she would have accepted it or not it did not matter, what mattered was that at least she knew I was not hiding anything from her and I knew I was not hidng anything from her.

And the other girl I dated after my ex-wife that I told about my infantilism, well, I already told you that story.

[Jilly Poo]

It's a hard thing to do know matter when you tell her.

[D_danny777]

Ya I'm going to play it off for when she gets back and I'm sure I'll know when the time is right for it. I don't see her going back to civilian life more like garrison life. Gnarley, I'm sorry to hear about what happend with you, but you do have some really useful insight and experience that I do appreciate you passing on. Does anyone have a clever method of hinting at it? we both talk to each other with just about anything. I was thinking of just telling her something along the lines of "hey want to experiment in bed and try something kinky?" and sort of spin it off as something fun adventuress we could both do. Hell I might even learn that she has some kind of fetish of her own or find something new that we both like. I'm just going go with the flow I suppose. again thanks for the support everyone.

[gnarley9t]

Yeah dude, I hope it works out for you and in my experience it would definitely better your chances if your gf has a fetish or 5 herself. I am pretty sure this is why my ex-gf didn't flinch what so ever when I told her about being abdl, cause after I told her, she told me about all the freaky stuff she was into. So, she could obviously empathize with how unexplainable the reasoning behind having a fetish is yet, how important it can be to having that fetish be a part of a sexual relationship.

Anyhoo, again, I hope it works out when you tell her and worst case scenario, if you or her decides to bail over an unacceptance, then just please try to look at it as another opportunity to find the woman of your dreams because there is no point in selling yourself short. Yes, even for us abdl's, do not sell yourself short!!!

[Hookedondiapers]

Ya I'm going to play it off for when she gets back and I'm sure I'll know when the time is right for it. I don't see her going back to civilian life more like garrison life. Gnarley, I'm sorry to hear about what happend with you, but you do have some really useful insight and experience that I do appreciate you passing on. Does anyone have a clever method of hinting at it? we both talk to each other with just about anything. I was thinking of just telling her something along the lines of "hey want to experiment in bed and try something kinky?" and sort of spin it off as something fun adventuress we could both do. Hell I might even learn that she has some kind of fetish of her own or find something new that we both like. I'm just going go with the flow I suppose. again thanks for the support everyone.

[D_danny777]

So I haven't been on DD in some time but anyways just as a kind of update about everything. She's been really accepting of the abdl thing, and we're now engaged.